The Loves of a Beaming Scribe

The Good Life Philippines: Disney's "The Little Mermaid" at the Meralco Theat...

2011-12-07T23:13:00.000+08:00

The Good Life Philippines: Disney's "The Little Mermaid" at the Meralco Theat...: The last musical play I watched locally was probably eons ago. Thanks to Ensogo and to my online group buying site fanatic buddy, Claire ...

Unrequited Love

2011-11-05T15:40:00.000+08:00

I've dug some old files today and came across a piece I've written more than a decade ago. This one is about unrequited love, romantically, that is. As I write this blog, the lines of the song "I remember the boy, but I don't remember the feeling anymore" keeps playing in my head. After all these years, my perspectives have changed, but in hindsight, it must have been an agonizing experience that churned my creative energies into bringing about this poem.

www.flickr.com/photos/40579917@N00/

If there's one theorem about love that sank deep into my head is that "Love is not just a feeling." I don't remember where I assimilated the idea, probably in class or from my readings, but I believed it. If love were only a feeling, then the objects of our love would change instantaneously, just as our feelings change. Paradoxical to this is that "Love is a choice." On second note, if loving is a choice and we chose to love a particular person, then why do we feel that our love is unrequited? I don't consider myself to be a philosopher of some sort, but I think I do have an answer to that. We feel unrequited love because THE PERSON WE LOVE DOES NOT LOVE US THE WAY WE WANT HIM OR HER TO LOVE US, but to say that the person did not love us, may still be a fallacy.

So, going back to my issue: unrequited love? Probably not. After a decade or so, I believe that I was loved in return, only perhaps, not the way I wanted the person to.

Heart's Lament

The anguish of a mute heart

ECHOES

your distance.

Shadows magnifying the

DESOLATION

of the streets

Walking abreast but

HESITANT

to touch each other's hands.

TIME

indeed is the greatest

FOE

of those who wait.

Joy Griva

January, 1996

The Good Life Philippines: My Fave Boracay Hotels

2011-08-09T21:42:00.000+08:00

The Good Life Philippines: My Fave Boracay Hotels: "Boracay, an island located in the northern region of Aklan province is one of the country’s top tourist d..."

Moving on and Mending A Broken Heart

2011-05-26T02:05:00.010+08:00

"If we must part forever,

Give me but one kind word to think upon,

And please myself with, while my heart's breaking."

-Thomas Otwa

http://www.quotegarden.com/teen-heart.html

As I muse about the post that I'm going to blog about, my mind wandered to not so long ago when I was younger and was in love. Then it occurred to me that perhaps, writing about moving on and mending a broken heart might be a helpful topic to many young girls and boys.

It's not easy to move on and mend a broken heart when you've truly loved someone; I've been there; done that. In retrospect, the break-up of my 2-year relationship after college was a "blow" to me. It felt surrealistic. It felt like I wanted to wake up from a bad dream; but the only problem was, I wasn't even dreaming(lol!).


http://flickrcc.bluemountains.net/flickrCC/

After a break-up, how do you move on, pick-up the pieces of your heart and try to mend it? The following tips might be of help to those in this predicament.

Take time to grieve. It's all right to grieve for a lost love. Accept that you were hurt and things did not work the way you would have hoped it would. Let it all in; shed some tears, then stop and accept the fact that it's over.

"Let your tears come. Let them water your soul." ~Eileen Mayhew

"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go."

~Author Unknown

http://www.quotegarden.com/teen-heart.html

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3548/

Catharsis; Purging. Do a creative activity that would start purging the emotions--the love that's left, the anger, the pain. Way back, I wrote psuedo letters to my ex-boyfriend, which I threw after writing. These letters were just meant for catharsis. Writing journals may be another helpful exercise to many. If you are not into writing, find another creative activity where you can project or vent out your emotions.

"Maybe a part of loving is learning to let go."

~From the television show The Wonder Years

http://www.quotegarden.com/teen-heart.html

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2778/

Huddle with your support group. Be around people, as the old adage goes, "No man is an island." This is the time when you will need the support of your family and peers.

"Sometimes our hearts get tangled

And our souls a little off-kilter

Friends and family can set us right

And help guide us back to the light."

~Sera Christann

http://www.quotegarden.com/family.html

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2664/

Go out and have fun with friends! Step out into the sunlight. Do the things you used to do. Go out with friends, shop, watch movies, hang-out, but avoid places that will stir memories of your past relationship.

"The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends."

~Gwyneth Paltrow

http://www.quotegarden.com/teen-heart.html

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/86/

"Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again." ~Rosa Parks

http://www.quotegarden.com/teen-heart.html


http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3118/

Pamper and love yourself more. After 3 days of grieving, I look in the mirror and found out how awful I look. So, I availed of some pampering treats. Love yourself more, re-evaluate your perception of yourself, highlight your good qualities--a healthy self-respect will speed up the healing process.

"We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies."
~Roderick Thorp, Rainbow Drive

http://www.quotegarden.com/confidence.html

Pray. Prayer has a healing property that is difficult to explain. During those times, I joined a prayer group where I met new friends that became my prayer partners and it contributed a lot to my emotional healing.

"A heartbreak is a blessing from God. It's just his way of letting you realize he saved you from the wrong one."

~Author Unknown

http://www.quotegarden.com/teen-heart.html

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3053/

Initially, it's going to be difficult to move on and mend a broken heart; but one has to start somewhere, because the world will not stop rotating on its axis.

"The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt."

~Max Lerner, The Unfinished Country, 1950

http://www.quotegarden.com/teen-heart.html

Take heart and remember that after all, time heals all wounds.

The Good Life Philippines: The End of the World: A Reflection

2011-05-23T16:13:00.000+08:00

The Good Life Philippines: The End of the World: A Reflection: "Today, I am not writing about the good life; I am writing about the supposed end of the world yesterday (May 21) that never was. I’ve not b..."

The Good Life Philippines: My Quest for Ageless Beauty

2011-05-10T12:57:00.000+08:00

The Good Life Philippines: My Quest for Ageless Beauty: "The stresses and responsibilities that modern women face today takes its toll on the skin; these factors accelerate aging. What’s dishearte..."

Castles of Love: Architectural Structures that Love Built

2011-05-06T14:57:00.004+08:00

People do unthinkable things for love—people fight for love, live for love; some even choose to die in the name of love. With love being an emotion, human beings explore ways o to immortalize love by using tangible things. Some write love letters; others preserve flowers or anything given by the beloved. Some keep photographs. Others bestow pieces of jewelry with their initials engraved on them. There are others, however, who choose to immortalize their love by building “castles of love”—tangible architectural structures that would remind succeeding generations that they lived, loved and were loved in return. Below are a number of castles built in the name of love.

The Taj Mahal of India

http://www.flickr.com/photos/43383965@N00/

We know that the Taj Mahal of India is one of the “wonders of the world”; but perhaps, not many are aware that it was constructed as a memento of Shah Jahan's undying love for Mumtaz Mahal.

Shah Jahan, initially named Prince Khurram, was son of Jehangir, the fourth Mughal emperor of India. Prince Khurran at 14 met a Muslim Persian Princess named Arjumand Banu, who was then 15. It was love at first sight. Shah Jahan went back to his father and immediately declared his intention to marry the princess. In 1612, five years after they met, the two were wed. Shah Jahan became emperor in 1628. He delegated Arjumand Banu with the royal seal and gave her the title of Mumtaz Mahal, which means “Jewel of the Palace.” Albeit, Shah Jahan had other wives, Mumtaz Mahal was his favorite. In the year 1631, Mumtaz mahal died, due to some complications after giving birth to their 14^th child. The dying Mumtaz asked the emperor to fulfill four promises, one of which was to build the Taj. After the demise of Mumtaz, Shah Jahan ordered the court to mourn for 2 years. He also fulfilled the task of erecting one of the world’s most beautiful structures as a concrete proof of his undying love. Taj Mahal took 22 years to build with 22,000 workers.

http://www.tajmahal.org.uk/story.html

http://www.taj-mahal-travel-tours.com/taj-mahal-story.html

To date, Taj Mahal is undergoing changes. It was reported that an audio guide system will be installed along its corridors. This project is being spearheaded by the Archeological Survey of India. Some Indian tourists groups however, are apprehensive that the installation of the audio guide system may result to the loss of the originality of the monument. On the other hand, the Superintending Archeologist of Agra explained that the installation of the audio guide system in Taj's Corridor is to help tourists with pieces of information about the monument and Indian Culture.

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2011-04-27/travel/29478952_1_taj-mahal-shah-jahan-archaeological-survey

The Taj Mahal, being one of the “wonders of the world” attracts a lot of tourists to India. I will have yet to plan my trip to get a glimpse of this castle of love.

Coral Castle

http://www.flickr.com/photos/28396605@N00/

This castle of love, located in Florida was built by Edward Leedskalnin on August 10, 19887 to immortalize his lost love for Agnes Scuffs. Edward, then 26, was engaged to Agnes, ten years younger than him. He called Agnes his “sweet sixteen”, as a term of endearment. It was just unfortunate that Agnes called off the wedding one day before it was supposed to be solemnized. Brokenhearted, Edward created this castle of love as a monument to his lost love. The Coral Castle became one of the world's extraordinary accomplishments. It was initially named Rock Gate Park, but now Coral Castle. What perplexed many even to this day, was how Edward, who weighed only 100 pounds, was able to cut and moved coral blocks without any assistance of large machinery. He single-handedly built Coral Castle, sculpting over 1,100 tons of coral rock.

http://coralcastle.com/whos-ed/

A lot of sources claim even Science cannot explain the way this castle was built. Other sources point out that Leedskalnin might have used paranormal means to build the castle. Some say that he transported the blocks with mind power; others, by magnetism. Leedskalnin’s own simple explanation was that he discovered the secrets of the pyramids and that he employed the same methods used by ancient Egyptians.
http://www.livescience.com/680-mysterious-coral-castle-fanciful-myth.html

Whatever tools he employed, one this is certain—as the saying goes, “Love can move mountains”; Edward did, only he lifted corals. The Coral Castle is one tangible proof of the seemingly impossible things that one can do for love.

Castle of Torrechiara

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Torrechiara_Castle.PNG

The Castle of Torrechiara was built between 1448 and 1460 by Pier Maria Rossi II, count of San Secondo. Torrechiara is part of the Langhirano in the Province of Parma, which can be found in Italy. It was built by Pier in the honor of Bianca Pellegrini, his lover. It became her luxurious residence.

http://www.crossingitaly.net/travel/1077/the-castle-of-torrechiara-history-love-and-legend/

Among the decorated rooms, one of the most popular is the Camera d’oro (Golden Room), which depicts Pier Maria Rossi’s passion for Bianca Pellegrini. In this room is situated two entwined hearts and the initials of Bianca and Pier Maria joined by a ribbon bearing the motto Nunc et Semper, which means “now and forever.”

http://goeurope.about.com/od/parmaitaly/a/castles_parma.htm

Dobroyd Castle

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Dobroyd_Castle,_Todmorden_-_geograph.org.uk_-_94344.jpg

This castle of love was built by John Fielden, a son of a wealthy industrialist, as a testament of his love for Ruth Stansfield, a local weaver girl. John fell in love with the girl and proposed. Ruth, however, would only consent to the marriage if the former builds him a castle on the hill. They married in 1857. John had the Dobroyd Castle built and it was completed in 1869. It had 66 rooms and a stable for 17 horses. As a symbol of their love, they carved the letters JFR into the Devon Marble and Caen stones in different places around the castle. Their marriage was not blessed with a child. Aside from the castle, John also built a Swiss chalet for Ruth near the bottom of the hill. Ruth Fielden died at 50 in February of 1877, John, remarried. After being kicked by a horse, John was crippled and spent the rest of his life in a wheelchair. He died at the castle in 1893 at the age of 71. In 1995, the castle was bought by the new Kadampa Buddhist Tradition and had been gradually restored. After the Buddhists left in 2007, Dobroyd Castle was put up for sale in 2008. In 2009, Robinwood Activity Centres bought the property which was transformed into a residential adventure and teamwork courses for 8-11 years old.

http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/lookingback/4295867.Dobroyd_Castle_on_hill_built_as_symbol_of_love/

http://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/94344

Boldt Castle

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Boldt_Alsterturm_2_db.jpg

This castle of love, Boldt Castle, can be found firmly on the Heart Island, bordering New York. It was built in the 20^th century by George Boldt. It was supposed to be a Valentine present for his wife, Louise in 1905; however, Louise died in 1904, one year shorter of the castle’s completion. Brokenhearted, Boldt then decided to stop the castle’s construction. The castle was empty for 73 years before Thousand Island Bridge Authority purchased the castle and turned it into a huge attraction in the Thousand Islands Region. Bolt Castle was recently featured in the cover of the 2011 New York State Tourist map.

http://lifestyle.iloveindia.com/lounge/facts-about-the-boldt-castle-in-the-11372.html

http://www.watertowndailytimes.com/article/20110424/NEWS03/304249997

It must be exhilarating for a female to be presented a “castle of love” as a proof of the undying love of her beloved. Building these castles took a lot of time, effort and money. Though most of the love stories mentioned had tragic endings, having the world and the succeeding generations remember their love story was all worth it.

Interesting Love Quotes

2011-04-28T01:58:00.000+08:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/25776592@N02/

Love, perhaps, is one of the most perplexing emotions that human beings can experience. It is also one of the most favorite topics of all times. Here's a compilation of interesting quotes on love, to ponder upon and enjoy.

"Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret"-- Aphra Ben

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casteth out fear."--1 John 4:18

"All mankind love a lover."--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"A lover with no indiscretion is no lover at all."--Thomas Hardy

"Love is a kind of warfare."--Ovid

"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."--George Sand

"All's fair in love and war."--Francis Edward Smedley

"'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."--Alfred, Lord Tennyson

"Love is the child of illusion and parent of disillusion."--Miguel De Unamuno

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction."--Antoine De Saint Exupéry

Lenten Reflection: One Lesson In College That I Will Bring With Me To The Grave

2011-04-21T22:24:00.004+08:00

As I sit in front of the computer, my mind traversed to not so long ago, when I was still a senior student at St. Paul College of Quezon City. At SPC, we've had Theology Classes from first year to fourth year. The last Theology Class I’ve had was a course on the “Sacraments”, with an eloquent guy, Mr. Antonio as the course instructor. He was a good teacher; he threw thought-provoking questions and facilitated spirited group discussions.

We were discussing the topic “Marriage as a Covenant” in one of the sessions, when one of my classmates asked a question pertaining to how long should a wife endure a husband who does not fulfill his responsibilities. To that, Mr. Antonio retorted, “as long as you can, with prayers.” He was pointing out that true, unconditional love of a praying wife can still convert an irresponsible husband. I raised my hand, stood up and asked him, if it will not be stupidity for a wife to bear with a husband who does not fulfill his part of the covenant. He directed the answer to me, saying “Ms. Griva, if you think that is stupidity, do you mean that Christ’s dying on the cross for our sins was also stupidity?” I was not able to answer, because I knew in my heart, I could not argue anymore.

Those words I kept in my heart, though they were spoken more than a decade ago. Year after year, as Holy Week comes, I see the passion and death of Christ as the ultimate expression of unconditional love. When I think about it, something stirs in my heart all the time. I feel humbled and grateful at the same time. Then, Mary comes to mind—what anguish, what pain she must have felt, seeing her son mocked, scourged and nailed on the cross, and it was all because of unconditional love. It’s hard to love unconditionally, because it means loving even those you don’t find lovable, but I believe that it’s not humanly impossible. In my own little way, I try to love, to forgive and to ask God for the grace of Charity.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/53496815@N00/

http://sleekboy.deviantart.com/art/

Out of college for years now, I’ve already forgotten most of the lessons we’ve had. I’ve adapted a more pragmatic view of life and of doing things; but, if there’s one last lesson that college reinforced in my heart, that is: God's love for me is unconditional and God's love will envelope me no matter where life may take me, and that is the faith that I will bring with me to the grave.

Have a blessed Holy Week and Happy Easter everyone!

Platonic Love or Romantic Love: Ways To Tell

2011-04-02T06:19:00.007+08:00

Falling in love is probably one of the most mystical phenomena one could ever experience. When you fall in love, you succumb to a gamut of human emotions--joy, sorrow, excitement, and sometimes, even depression. Falling in love becomes a bit more perplexing if you find yourself falling in love with a close friend. If you feel that you're in this predicament, read on, and hope this helps.

Platonic Love or Romantic Love: Ways To Tell