Musings of a Crossdreamer

I ordered my bag.

2021-05-19T08:41:00.001-07:00

So my travels have decided to catch up with me like an old friend, "why lay you down girl?" "oh just been stuck" "get ready to travel again homegirl its gonna be awesome" Oh what do you know? it is going to be awesome. Me making money like I should Me presenting how I should in a beautiful metro, with someone who is the exact opposite of me, someone who complimenmts my life, who will potentially add to my life in such a positive profound way. we made a vow to get our bags and have them kiss I just ordered my bag. envission if you will with me Tall pretty busty clearly taken care of, standing in the sunshine my hair put up my earings making my eyes and my nails polish pop my make up on fleek Standing next to me Someone thats beautiful in both ways, Tight bodied with a face that shines through a crowd like a model, with a Bob that frames thier face perfectly, Thier eyes the bluest blue pretty deep soulful. Imagine if you will dreams being spoken into reality, being spoken to so sweetly, you get week in the knees just swooney like omg. It can happen twin flames are real, It can happen if you believe. two year paralegal programs can happen, being an adjuster can happen, owning a high end spa chain can happen you understand what its like when someone can make you feel like you can take over the world when they are with you? I know three couples like that, were going to be the fourth my life is going to be beautiful

My family and Other stuff

2021-05-02T21:21:00.007-07:00

Well Today they unvielded my Greandfathers stone, and of course I wasnt there, because of that cabal I spoke about last time, and the really short notice, but I aint even mad at it. Im happy my Grandma can feel comfortable when she goes to visit my grandfather now. For awhile I would have these late night text sessions, Im sorta empathic. like I can feel other peoples pains or Im just trippin. Or sometimes I can pick up vibes like today I met the Nicest Person driving this beautiful bently, I felt cambria I said it, he said he was just there. He told me only hardwork and no short cuts would get me there. I believe it. I hope one day we meet again with me driving a bently so I can thank him and every other person that has told me the secret to thier success. Honestly working at the gate house to this place has been a very life enriching experiance, and I love that I get to make people feel safe and welcome. Honestly truck and shipping date aside, I believe I will be that Bently driver, and I will have the life I want. everyone stay tuned life is beautiful

Some people

2021-04-15T12:29:00.000-07:00

So my ex's mom has gone out of her way to tag me in shit amd like all my posts on facebook. fortunatly for me, Ive done enough grieving, and caring. I dont give a damn what her daughter does or who she does it with. If anything it makes her look like an ass. which im tottally cool with. Racism, dont do it around me. I dont give a damn what you think the chinese government has done. If you yave those feelings keep them to yourself. Im not gonna tell on my supervisor, but all the respect that was there is now gone. I will scalp a motherfuckers eyebrow. not brows but unibrow. Dont pull into my blind spot and manufacture a bunch of bullshit, And just because I work where you live, it doesnt mean Im a toy to be played with. I dont care how much higher you hold yourself above me, in the end were all just dirt nobody gets out alive 29 years on the police force, 29 years of muscle memory connected to that weapon, If you really did believe that was a taser I hope they did a tox screen, Cause Im sure you were high, especially if were to believe what you said. last but not least Im dissapointed in myself for thinking that any shade tree mechanic is actually gonna buckle down and fix my truck. Its like I keep making the same mustake vecause Im trying to save money. I should have just had my truck taken to a shop, because clearly there is an evil cabal of white supremacists who got upset because I nodded a greating one time, and now they have thier network of shade tree mechanics wasting my time.........just kidding. Its all drawn back to me being greedy abd not just tKing my truck to a shop. Well thats what I gotta say about some people.

Chaos with my back

2021-04-05T21:09:00.000-07:00

If your enemigo asks you to push his car up hill while its on an incline,dont do it. If this friend has wrought nothing but chaos, cut them off. My back is in a world of pain.

Why is the D.M.V. so punative

2021-04-05T21:05:00.005-07:00

hello dear friends, funny thing the DMV, but not really though. Honestly with the amount if money people give to this organization, you would think there wouldnt be anything to complain about. Well thats a wrong assumption. Its bad enough people have to pay the government to use thier vehicles which they paid a tax for when they bought them. its bad enough the place is perpetually understaffed, perpetually bad smelling perpetually uncomfortable. You would think one of our dear whorish politicians would pick up on this. Just saying the next person that campaighns to make the dmv less miserable and bloodsucking, thats the person getting my vote. I want comfy reclining chairs, working climate contral, and free wifi, Oh and a free juice bar wouldnt be too much to ask for right ? perhaps even a masuse. Or maybe just a streamlined process or app that would cut down on my frustration. Could you imagine using an app to pay your fees while getting a massage and enjoying a smoothie. Somehow we can pay every other tac online, even the late ones. what is the d.m.v.s excus

The enternet is rife with it.

2021-02-12T08:41:00.003-08:00

Hello dear friends, if your wondering I never cured my gender dysphoria. not only did I not cure it, Ive been on hormones for the last six months. My levels are within goal range, my boobs hurt my hips hurt, but Im not depressed and I think clearly, and all the anxiety and self loathing its gone. Not that its anybodies bussiness. Of course I guess now it is everyones bussiness. An election has changed governments, and of course the losers need a lynch pin, lord knows its allways easier to unite people against somthing, then it is to unote them for somthing. This time the lynch pin is well me, becauss I was born with the wrong chromosones and genetelia. Genetelia I disassociated from, genetelia I never think about or brag about, genetelia I could get the job done with, thats allot of genetelia, what I'm trying to say is get off of my dick, and keep my dick out of your conscience. No im not going to attempt to assault other women or girls in the restroom. No im not going to "trick you into believing" I was born with the right parts, but you being concerened about all of that,is very telling. Do you think about doing those things ? Do you think about people like me? I get it your one of those curious people who messes around and ends up in the e.r. with a rectal forighn body. Sorry honey I dont like using this dick your so afraid of. For those of you that talk about science and nature or what G-d intended, How many minds have you walked in aside from your own ? its obvious our chromosones arent right and etc just like its your problem its our problem, trust me. Then there are those of you who say its an afront to G-d. According to The Bible or Torah your supposed to choose life over death. If changing my Gender is whats keeping me from jumping in front of a train or doing some other selfish thing to end my life, then guess what? Me changing my gender is me choosing life over death. Its me choosing to make my body feel at home, its me choosing to not live with this constant sadness anger anxiety and brain fog. I may not exactly fit your asthetic or your ideal, but seriousley I dont care.

Simping, don't do it.

2020-11-27T09:29:00.002-08:00

Today is a very auspicious day. Its the one year aniversery where all my suspicion was confirmed and the prestige of betrayel was let loose. Those phone calls, that drive up there, her hiding her smile while recording me, her new guy hiding. The pain the stinging pain that threw me in a hole for months. The hatred I felt. Those days and nights where I was blinded and tried to get her back. Those thoughts and emotions, all past all gone. She tried to get back into contact with me. first she hit my instagram, then she hit my phone with the blocked numbers, then she hit my text up. I ignored her. didnt invest any emotion. Even though her friends and family didnt like the new guy because he was abusive amd controling.Even though theu were all rooting for us to get back together. Even though she wanted me back. let me tell you folks something, there are evil people out there. and when you simp those people take advantage of you and wreak chaos and havoc into your life and the lives of those around you. when you simp and let these people into your life, you end up isolated from your people, you end up two payments behind on your mortgage. You end up being taken outside of your character. Seriousley folks dot simp ever. Also dont ever hang out with retired hookers from hungary named Eva. they"re classless and delusional. thier cooking smells terrible and they will never tell the truth. Also they hate the smell of garlic, and they take advantage of simps like jeff. Its the damn jezebel oil, I know what that shit smells like dont ask me why, but bitchcraft is real.

Turkey day

2020-11-26T19:43:00.006-08:00

Now im by no means a psychologist or a statitician,but I have theory that damaged people just let everything hang out on the holidays. The flash point could be in the kitchen or at the dining room table, Or it could be someone excercising the only control theu have on thier life, by making everyone wait until after midnight to eat. This is the reason ove been advocating hometown buffet for thanks giving for the last few years. They will have everything you need for turkey day, it will be less exspensive and no one will act out, because it will be in public. Now this year its been different, because of that damn plague, but in the future Im not fucking around. I"ll tale the whole family to hometown buffet, me and whoever the family is. We will have family photos at hometown buffet. That and I dont know why, The current two family memebers never turn down an opportunity to disrespect me by not eating what I cook. like ever, like even though its one of my natural talents they camt even let me have that with thoee toxic asses. So fuck em next year in hometown buffet either with a parrner and possibly a baby or by my damn self.

Water fasting

2020-11-24T10:33:00.001-08:00

A habit I picked Picked up during my haitus, waterfasting. ive done a few so far, the longest ive done being a week. I prefer to call it a solid food vacation. I noticed keto is the new hot trend. Ive found waterfasting to be the quickest amd easiest way to jump into ketosis. esentially it is the same as ketosis, only instead of balancing protien amd fat, your body begins to eat its own fat stores, and it begines the process of autophogy. Autophagy in itself is very interesting, to eat oneself, or for your body to eat all the corrupted cells, so it can make new ones. this time Im going on a four day water fast, which I will follow up with some keto/omad action. Ultimatly it is the best tool I found to deal with metabolic syndrome, its a potent tool for fixing high blood pressure, and even pre or type two duabetes, and the ravishes of the stamdard American diet. where this new energy has come from, I dont know but There is absolutley no way Im not going to pass that physical to get into the program, and the other plus losing the wieght so when the fat redistribution starts I will have a clean camvas for nature amd its work.

Wow what an odessy.

2020-11-23T20:21:00.001-08:00

I left you with the news of my new relationship, and some of our sexual habits.

Well that ship crashed onto the rocks and burned. I would never recommend dating someone who derives pleasure from emotional pain, and manipulation.

I've had one of the worst periods of my life in the last year. I allowed myself to feel the pain and humiliation of infidelity, on a side note she tried to come back to me with another man's baby, that was a hard no. In all honesty it wasn't so bad. She made me miserable with her cheating her lies and her"I'm not a doctor" borderline personality, and her narcicissm.

My truck I manifested caught fire, I have all the parts it's now a project.

I lost my job, at first it was tolerable, but then it turned toxic. The new manager they hired had a clear policy of nepotism, and divide and conquer. So once again good riddance or as some of my friends would say echale motherfucker. On another side note he fired the office lady who got all the contracts and hired his wife.

My Grandfather died. A grandfather is a person's best friend.

I had to put down my dog, that's my other best friend.

But after all the pain comes the growth and the joy. I spruced up my resumae and got a job. My second day at the job I got forty hours and and a raise that put me near what I was making at my last job. Just no human shit or shitty humans to mess up my day at this job.

I got back on the hormones. Low dose of course, my depression has receded and I'm able to think clearly now. My skin is softer and I smile more. Dont worry my balls still work.

I've found a clear career path. One year of study gets me a state job, with a decent salary. Two more units of study get me an R.N., which gets me a job anywhere at a decent salary.

The only thing missing is the spirituality I've been missing. A friend told me before I left Israel that after a while I would go numb spiritually. I feel it I feel the lack it's like I've been cut off. My question where do the people in between go to pray ? Who loves them ? The Saris the Aylonit the Tumtum where do they pray? I'm sure I will find the answers. Until then its another opportunity for discovery and growth.

Damn Its been awhile.....

2016-05-30T18:16:00.000-07:00

Well From where I left off many years ago"three"

Got another g.p.s opinion I'm full blown transexual.
Dabbled with some hormones first the herbs than the glands than the chemicals,
Of course I stopped even though the Hormones did make me feel mellow or not anxious.
Now I have a girlfriend and in two days were gonna move in together. She knows everything
about me, So we play soetimes she brings a rubber friend sometimes she makes me give lap dances.

Happy to say i have found a balance that works

What does it mean when a girl says your adorable.

2013-09-17T15:33:00.001-07:00

So yesterday I drove my mom's boyfriend to court.

It was a very long and boring process. Nothing like what I saw on the media.

There's no arguments no testimony no gavel. Just a big bore fest.

After that we went to see J____'s cousin.

I'm not gonna lie She's hot pretty damn close to a ten, and she has a very kind bubbling personality.

We sat there last night getting buzzed spinning yarns about our childhoods.

So here it is I'm so adorable. Now there is a search going on they want to find a girlfriend

for me. Well crazy old me I love the idea. The truth is my very active labido has been leading me to some interesting actions. Some days I'm like an A 10 going on one hell of a run. Thats specifically when I have a wing man. Thats when i'm cool. Hell on those days even the guys"gay ones" wanna chat with me.

Of course I don't really have gaydar so I don't know until someone points it out to me most times.

Other days i'm in ninja mode don't look at me don't speak to me,

I don't exist.

Here's my problem I really have a fear of intimacy.

It could be related to some peoples parenting methods, here are some of the mantras from my childhood:

If a girl says no it means no or else you will go to prison.

If you ever get a girl pregnant and leave her I will puncture your lungs and drop you in a lake.

Your grandpa had a big dick I don't know what happened to you and your father.

you don't touch a girl unless she says yes or you will get in trouble,

Of course all that happened before I ever had any religious stigma.

The whole if you spill your seed G-d will cut you down

and everything else that goes with it.

And here is my favorite Just thinking of him makes me want to barth.

That last one was in the third person it was from the first courtship I tried in middle school.

I thought I was doing well but I guess appearances were more important than actual likes.

As far as my member goes it's a nice average size of 6 3/4 inches when standing

so it's not allot but i'm sure it could get the job done. I'm a grower not a shower

Though lately allot of older women have been after this dick.

I wanna give it to em but I'm afraid, and I really don't know how to work through it now.

So yes I may be adorable but i'm also very troubled and I have no clue on how to

unlearn all this dysfunction and figure out a way to enjoy this part of my life.

So maybe one day I'll find it maybe some of you can make suggestions

Yom Kippur and music and other stuff

2013-09-16T05:37:00.000-07:00

I've really been listening to this album a lot on my ipod

"yes I finally got an Ipod thanks To my moms ex girlfriend" She even gave me a really cool blanket.

It really makes the ambiance of my life come together now.

Driving home after a graveyard shift I think the sound is perfect for winter.

I think it would be a great soundtrack to a bedroom romp as well.

Right after yom kippur I got a good sign I was guarding a party.

When it was time to leave I found a pair of panties under my windshield wiper

The only thing of note I really did was bust some hopak"cossack dancing "

I think it's a sign that G-d or some chick has interesting plans for me this year.

Who knows maybe fried fish and champagne

Maybe a spring fling.

Being that the Jewish new year has passed. I have to make a bucket list of things to do this year.

There is always the usual stuff you know:

quit smoking

Lose weight

make more money

learn something

then of course there are my usuals

lose weight

find a pair of heels or boots not meant for strippers or drag shows

"big feet big problem"

The truth is my only disappointment from this

new year was not being able to find the Rabbi or the synagogue.

After looking for them both for about a good four hours, it made me ponder about some things

here is what i believe to be the best of what I gathered

"The Rabbis have everyone hyped up on this third temple.

Where as I understand we have it pretty awesome today.

There is no conduit no cohanim no animals.

All the services of the beit hamikdash are done in the heart they are done in the mind.

It's uncut connection

through prayer and meditation every Jew can be the Cohan Gadol

Every Jew can offer incense bread and animal to G-d"

But I did fast so I think i'm good

In the end It's all the same i'm still just hoping for acceptance,friendship,romance,Fortune,mazol,

and maybe those shoes,and a vagina

well Until next time paca my friends paca

I was high yellow until......

2013-09-12T14:57:00.003-07:00

My Mom got a job as a inhome care taker.

Her client is a double amputee half paralyzed by a stroke.

Her client worked her whole life to raise her son all by her lonesome.

Her client spent nearly twenty years living in the same house.

Her clients landlord is a real gem

leaking pipes not their problem. Broken heater not their problem.

Black mold not their problem. Wiring flaws not their problem.

Now my mom in many ways is like That clint Eastwood character,

she see's a problem she see's the weak and the sick being messed with, so

she does the right thing no matter what happens

here are a few examples:

Drug dealers training a dog to be vicious, she steals the dog

and then me and my brother become targets.

The union at work is ripping everybody off, she makes some noise and gets put in searchlight

Her company is trying to screw someone out of their pension, She testified in court on his behalf

and lost her job.

Now back to the landlord. My mom starts barking up the tree for repairs.

So the landlord calls their lawyer and start filing false complaints to intimidate us .

Me and my brother turn into drug dealers and my brother is now my moms black boyfriend.

Next thing you know the cops barge in and do a welfare check on the client, not only do they check the client they disrespect my mother.

Next One afternoon I have a patrol car following me around.

So my mom calls her Lawyer

who states in his letter A______ has two

sons they are both african American and one of them is a veteran and works as a security guard.

Of course besides for my hair and some of my facial features i'm as white as the next guy.

Though my brother he's dark like Wesley snipes.

"in lawyer language this means give me a harassment suit I dare you punk"

Well now the force knows one of my secrets. I really hope my doppelganger doesn't go

and commit a bunch of crimes because if he does guess who the cops will

come after first.

It just saddens me. This is my perception of how justice works

The guy who can hire the lawyer that plays golf with the judge always wins.

As for me I guess i'm a three course meal

for these assholes A black Jewish Trans-Thingy

well until next time paca kroshka paca

working the graveyard shift all alone....

2013-09-11T01:59:00.001-07:00

So here it is my dear friends Emma Lee vanya

is Now Lee The security guard. most nights bored out of her wits.

Walking through big empty industrial buildings looking for ghosts .

once upon a time in the fair Town of San Miguel lived

a Man with a sack of gold and a big mouth......unfortunately

He told a few people with no gold about his big sack of gold.

So They murdered him and everyone else on his property and ran off

with his gold.

Well that Family has been haunting the town ever since.

Really though it makes me wonder

because I have thought about a woman in a white dress....

specifically when I was walking alongside one of the

buildings for the winery

Of course I got the feeling she liked me

though I wonder how she would like EmmaLee

If she showed up

Would a ghost hate me and all my craziness?

I don't know but it would be cool to have a ghost as a friend.

Just some updates from where I left off

2013-06-25T21:34:00.004-07:00

A Nice Life

I had to put the trucking on the back burner
Due to some health concerns with my brother, but I found another job it's full time plus over time, and now I have a nice little jeep.

Also there is a girl who works at one of the stores here. I have a crush on her.

Now there is also a dream of a 350 Chevy m body with a cold air intake and a bigger exhaust, preferably a
Monte Carlo.

I guess I picture myself working my ass off
doing my gaurd job and taking classes at the Junior colleague, I'm thinking business admin or something along those lines.

So in the end I'm looking at a car a job a girl
Since I have been in paso I haven't really had the urges to dress up
Though sometimes my Anima takes over. She will usually pop in when I'm tired. Unfortunately I still haven't found the time or place to let her find a static place in my life so she fleets through every now and then.

Another cool thing going on is me and my family going through with my restaurant idea. If it works out the way I vission it to be. I will be able to just open a direct deposit and go back to Israel and kick my feet up.

Forgs and crickets and oak trees

2013-05-16T13:18:00.001-07:00

So I made it back to Paso Robles

"one of my happy places"

Out my window I hear the crickets and frogs in the creek serenading the night.

Out my window I see the oak trees swaying in the breeze, I see the Spanish moss growing off of the branches because the air is so clean.

I took a trip to Franklin pond "the sulfur spring where the locals go" . I shared a twenty four pack with my brothers and spent the whole night laughing. Now my skin is clear and soft.

In other words It's feels damn good to be back.

well until next time paca bitches paca

A little derision with your coffee sir

2013-05-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

I am tired

I hold my tongue and swallow bullshit because I am tired.

Every meal we share every party we go to, every car we ride in.

I am tired

How many of you know the story of Cinderella.

The child from a bad home situation gets a little hellp

from hr family. Of course this hellp comes at the price of her dignity.

So it seems so today in my case.

Every time I open my mouth at the table

I get a dirty look or I get talked over.

Or someone will bring up an embarrassing event.

from my life.

Than after all this I have to act like everything is cool.

So I swallow my pride.

When I talk to an engineer about 3d organ printers, I'm out of place.

When I question the Rabbinical authority caught in scandal My past get's scrutinized.

When I tell a story from my Service in the Military I get shut down.

This is bat twenty one.

I had my own exit strategy, but I put it on hold so I could help out my mom and my brother.

So now I wait because they have to wait, and sit and take shit from my cousins

and I get to play the head games others design for me.

All this from people who swear they live by the rules of the holy books.

They really just commit necrophilia

because If I qoute a Great Rabbi he will highlight

how if you don't follow the ethical teachings than you missed the whole point.

"Whats hateful to yourself don't do to others everything else is just commentary"

I relish the day when My brother will come to where I'm at

and I can make a graceful exit.

My only question is

Until when

well until next time paca bitches paca

The last couple of days hours minutes seconds

2013-05-03T11:46:00.001-07:00

So here it is

Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone ?

If yes than you know how intense the last couple of minutes are

Here is a better example

Have you ever been in school waiting for the last bell on Friday?

It always feels like it just takes too damn long.

Well here I am waiting for the bell to ring.

My frenemys see I'm leaving so now I get to see some true colors.

I should have figured that just like I should have figured these ass holes

would decide to fuck with me just a little bit more.

It's a severe pain to have to take shit from people, I just hope

the other parties in the exit plan knew how it's going.

Instead they leave me in the dark

So now I sit and my brain goes in circles.

Just more fear of false hopes, and backstabbing.

This is what happens when your privacy is invaded over and over again.

This is what happens when your trust is violated over and over again.

This is what damage is this is how dysfunction grows.

This is how loners and shut ins are made.

Just in case you didn't know.

So I will stay in this pressure cooker of bullshit.

until I can get out

For the sake of my future I hope it's sooner than I cold hope for.

Until next time

Paca bitches Paca

Trance music, driving, Batting Cages and Cute lil Gothic chicks that work at seven eleven

2013-05-01T22:04:00.003-07:00

That's all stuff I love

Trance makes me more focused more and more energized.

Driving cars makes me feel liberated.

Batting cages help me release anger and tension.

Cute lil Gothic chicks who get that old familiar feeling when I spit game makes me feel

more confident.

Yesterday I actually purchased an N.L.P. mp3 to get over my phobias and angst.

I left it on repeat all night last night and today I was more outgoing more confident.

I think there will be a Resurrection or rather a release of the person who got locked inside by his/her damage

what makes this greater is all the wisdom I obtained

in my search for the key in my lurking in the shadows

Fuck it lets say the phoenix has risen

and the phoenix is cock diesel

until next time

Paca bitches Paca

Fixing family dynamics"I can only meet you half way"

2013-05-01T12:00:00.001-07:00

Hello my dear friends

Lately my policy of building bridges and mending broken homes is working well.

Really though it's all a matter of all the parties involved being open and being receptive.

Last Sunday My Dad and one of his estranged cousins decided to meet up.

It had been years since they have seen each other. Honestly though

I had nothing to do with it it was just them deciding to let the water run over until all was clear.

My Mom and my brother were recently cast into a crisis.

I reckon I got the chance to not feel like the guy/girl who ran off and left everyone.

I reached out into my network and got help for them.

Than we came together with a plan to get everyone back on their feet.

Me and my brother will hit the road together.

My mom will move across the grade to hold down a home base and get back into the job market.

What touched me though was a phone call

where my mom opened up and started to question why she let her abandonment issues

affects how she relates to other people. So now I see progress all around.

Everyone except my brother

He is still angry, My main concern is his weight.

Weight isn't just food often times there are emotions that go with it

\Issues that need to be resolved before the fat can melt away.

So here I have another opportunity

to release some of my demons and help my brother.

I guess I will lead by example.

Audio books healthy eating and exercising If he see's me doing this I'm sure he will

follow.

This is what has been playing in my life lately

I hope to report again soon with more good news until than

paca kroshka

Fuck it I like chief Keef

2013-04-22T11:37:00.001-07:00

Yup I can ralate to this song according to some people I'm a sapo in other words I'm guilty by association because of my family, what they don't know is I'm being fucked with too what ever I don't got time for paranoid assholes. I got my own paranoia to deal with, I got my own shit to deal with. So fuck it man character defamation that's that shit I don't like, In other words go choke on a dick hater I'm not that guy.

The buttons have been polished.

2013-04-21T05:26:00.001-07:00

Well I spoke to the recruiter...

It turns out in the fucked up state of California I can get a c.d.l. without a license.

So I'm set my mind has been made up i'm one hundred percent sure

that this is something I need to do to get where I want to be.

So I have another week or two until I'll be off to trucker school.

I just need to get some medical documents and a storage unit and then i'll be off on an adventure.

Once i'm on the road i'll be ready to write about things other than fucked up family dynamics and the likes.

I'll probably write about meditation and being a trans-something and of course about my travels, and after two years I will write about returning to Tel Aviv and Gothic girls and etc,etc,etc, so until next time

paca kroshka

hugs and kisses and all that good stuff

The delusion is over I changed my mind

2013-04-18T18:30:00.000-07:00

I am not a peasant

I am Noble and I am cock diesel

born to fuck all those haters out there

and fuck those vampires

who made their money on my families

misfortune

I'm in this life to own it

Lets all team up against him so we won't be divided

2013-04-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

OK here is how it is

Some family's are so fucked up that they need to manufacture a bad guy

so everyone will rally around the flag.

Some families can't function without a bad guy or a boogeyman .

Sometimes it's a grandparent, sometimes it's a brother or a sister, the main point is

that there is always a selected bad guy.

So now I'm two for two , my mom and my brother never pick up the phone,

and the cousins I stayed with chose me.

Well when I'm gone or I stop trying to be a part of their lives who will be the next bad guy?

Well my cousins took in a new person,and my mom and my brother are good at manufacturing

the bad guy It could be my mom's boyfriend it could be any other poor schmuck.

Honestly take a look at yourselves and your family dynamics and see if you fit too.