~ Musings of A Malaysian Girl ~

The New Year Moment - 2012!!!

2011-12-31T09:25:00.000-08:00

Canon 450D - 50mm f5.6

Sayonara 2011, Wooo Hoo to 2012!

2011-12-31T07:42:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh..the last few hours to the end of the year. Time to sit down and reflect over what's left of the year albeit without a glass of wine.

At this time last year, I was so busy stuck in a kitchen, prepping food and training staff for my own little venture that the New Year just felt like another day passing by. The first half year was really tough, coping with a new business venture which was never my specialty - a little sandwich & coffee shop. It was totally different from the corporate world that I was so used to. Equally as challenging although it sounds minute and simple. I had to cope with staffing, menu, kitchen, purchasing, equipment, planning, financial details, marketing and the administration. The stress and work hours was terrible, much much worse than the corporate world. If you're your own boss, expect to live and breathe your business.

Within three months, I lost weight and looked like a skeleton, slept like a log at night (snoring like a pig, I am sure..should have recorded myself as an experiment :P), didn't have a social life, was obsessed with working, and agonised over the daily dollar and cents. But throughout most of the time, I kept a smile on my face. It was a challenge that I took up, and a challenge that I intended to learn from. And learn so I did, although painfully.

Well, I still remember what my dad told me before I started, "Don't expect your first venture to be successful. Be prepared to fail and learn from it." Sure enough, when I realised that it probably won't be profitable yet until the end of the year, a painful decision had to be made. Either to be stubborn and dig my heels in to continue, or to call it quits. It was a tough decision indeed but to continue on might have probably brought worst results. We decided not to take the risk.

And to make matters worst, at the most pivotal point of decision making, life started throwing curveballs at me. It must have been a sign. When my car broke down in the middle of Federal Highway on the fast lane on a Saturday night, I took it all in with a smile and a chuckle (which many would recognise as insanity) and said up to the sky, "Is that all you've got? Come on, give it your best."

I was never a firm believer in religion, always believing that things were in my hands although there's a higher life being with different names, God, Allah, Buddha...whatever. But having said that, never taunt God. *lol*

The following two weeks right when another relationship started rolling downhill, I nudged into someone else's car at slow speed. Luckily, no mortal damage was done except to my wallet. *ouch* As shaken as I was, I thank my lucky stars as it could have been worst. And then the next following week, when my day at the cafe ended late, someone had broken into my car and stolen the battery. What a laugh. They should have just taken the car, but NOoOOoo, they had to take the battery. *lol* By then, I was ready to admit defeat and surrender to God. In desperation for some peace and calm, I paid a visit to the temple, swallowed my pride and I said my own little self styled prayer and asked for direction. Surprisingly, an answer did come. Once a decision was made, everything became easier.

Nothing ever is a total lost - always learn from your mistakes in anything and know what to do right in the future. I believe this applies to everything in life. I at least knew what failed me; just three words sufficed - "Capital, Location and Marketing." But at least I will be better prepared for the future. I am thankful however for friends and customers that had supported us all this while. It has been a great fun and hectic experience serving you and hopefully, we can say what Arnold Schwarzenegger said in his famous movie the Terminator - "Hasta La Vista, baby!"

Looking back, I had so many goals then for 2011 - mostly too ambitious. I had wanted to travel to Tibet and Europe, learnt my guitar, go diving, improve my swimming, have fabulous abs (yes, you heard me right), and bought my own home. I should have realised just how much my own venture would have taken out of me which was everything.

At the hardest part of my life, something unexpected happened. The right guy waltzed into my life. I guess God is only fair. He takes away everything to give you something. It was crazy but we both fell in love within the first week. Everything just came naturally to us - we moved into a new home, met each others parents and relatives, traveled, laughed with each other and at each other, had our first Christmas tree up. And now, seven months later, we're still disgustingly madly in love with each other. Love makes everything else bearable. I hope that we would still stay the same even if we were married or have rugrats as he puts it.

I now really look forward to this New Year would bring. =) A new job would be great and still that winning lottery ticket. =P Thank you god in advance! It's going to be a great great year ahead! Hopefully, it would still be challenging but not life draining.

My resolution - to stay happy and to work hard for the things that I want and for the people that I love. Meanwhile, be am thankful to God for all that I have; a fantastic, sexy, challenging and yet understanding partner, greatly supportive parents and friends.

The traffic jam is starting to accumulate on the roads right now while I am thankfully in the sanctuary of my home. =P

To my Hunni Buns, my family, relatives and friends, may the New Year bring you what you hope and wish for. Be safe, healthy and most importantly, Happy. Love you all.

The Perfect Guy...

2011-08-13T14:21:00.000-07:00

There was this fine evening in April 2009 where I had concluded that "The perfect man just doesn't exist!"

I was wrong. Dead wrong. It's amusing when I get proven wrong. This time...I am grateful that I am wrong.

And how do you know? You just do. And when you do, you don't find any "Buts" in them. Even not those "buts" that sneak at the very back of your mind, and that you sometimes choose to ignore it. Everything just fits or falls into place and always unexpectedly. And time will never be an issue. And the best part would be that the other person feels exactly the same way about you as you do about them. It would be terrifying and exciting all at the same time, and yes, it would seem too good to be true. Self pinching helps to ensure that you're actually living in reality. =P

I have learnt after years of countless relationships, which mostly didn't end well, that you can't expect a person to change in a relationship. It's all about expectations and if your expectations fits the other person, and if the other person's expectations fit you. It's always a two way street. And to wait for a person to change, well...it mostly ends up in resentments. If it was right, it would have been right from the start. Learn how to walk away from wrong relationships, and learn how to walk fast.

He or she does exist. Question is, do you hold out long enough to find what you've always been looking for or do you settle for less? Obviously many of us tend to wonder if we were never destined to find the right person to share our lives with especially after many heartaches and tend to either give in to familiarity and give up altogether or change our requirements so that we don't end up alone. I am no different. There were times when I lower my requirements and thought maybe compromise and tolerance is what is needed. And yes, I almost did give up.

Fate works in funny ways. Maybe not everyone is destined to find the Perfect Soulmate. But every decision is a gamble or a leap of faith. Open your eyes, open your heart, do not wait idly by, take action, but know what you want. And maybe ask hard enough, and you might just receive.

For once, I am nobody's lesson. And nobody is my lesson.

P/S: Dear god, you must have been listening hard. Whether it was fate or just pure coincidence, I am very grateful. Now how about that winning lottery ticket? =P

Self Reflections

2011-03-13T10:03:00.000-07:00

I realised something today.

I wasn't as strong as I thought I was.

The person who I am today is because of all the connections that I have made in the past. I am who I am because of the people that I have met, loved, fought with and lived with. Every person that I met taught me something. Every relationship that I was in always had a message to me. I had always thought that I was somebody's lesson with the exception of one. Today it became two. For the second time, someone was my lesson.

Expectations. We always have expectations of our half. The crap about loving non-conditionally doesn't exist. And even if it did, there was a limited lifespan to it. You can only ignore expectations either of other people or of your own for only so long, and then nature kicks in. Perhaps, the trick is recognising which expectation is crucial in one's life. It's a thin line to wanting what you want and knowing what you should have. There's this model of a person aka my other half in my mind that will have to go major remodelling or plastic surgery in my mind. It's just that I haven't decided what stays and what goes. Like that perfect 6 pack which is a real deal breaker or that charming mischievous smile. =P I rest my case.

We all just want to be accepted for who we are. Loved for who we all, faults and all. And I am no exception, nor is the other person. I suppose it all boils down to ourselves, knowing what our weaknesses and faults are and trying to consciously slowly change them, not only for the sakes of ourselves but for the sakes of others. We often are our own worst enemies. Too often we build on negative images of ourselves, and draw on previous bad experiences or insecurities that we forget about what is possible, what is good, and what is right. We create our own unhappiness, which rightfully shouldn't exist at all especially if we are secure and happy with ourselves as a person.

I had forgotten that I could be my own worst enemy. I too have drawn on previous hurts and disappointments and acted defensively in the name of fear.

Perhaps I have been wrong all along in certain aspects. Perhaps I have looked at things in a certain way which was not always correct. To want something for oneself is not wrong. But if we really did love the other person and wanted their happiness, wouldn't one sacrifice one's own needs for the other? We would naturally know what needed to be done. But do we? Are we always that self conscious, that unselfish?

Pondering. I still have a long journey to self discovery. Hopefully, it gets easier. Hopefully, I get wiser.

Hopefully, someday I am nobody's lesson, and nobody is my lesson.

Pretty Please...

2010-12-03T11:19:00.000-08:00

"Dear God,

I know that I've been busy lately to say hi, but I am sure that you've been up to your antics lately - fullfilling wishes and dreams of people silly enough to ask you for something, and yet putting your own twist into it.

On that topic, I have a bone to pick with you.

Remember that Sexy Guy that I asked from you in Year 2008?

Am sure when I asked that from you, you went "mmmm, sexy eh...ok...nah...take it...let's see how you handle it!"

Firstly, I would like to thank you, he was indeed sexy but ended up....I think there's more than sexy that I need and want. I have to admit, I would have tweaked my request more if I had known that you were seriously listening to me.

So..Say...how about you grant me the same wish for Year 2011 but with some other additional attributes that I have been thinking hard about. So, how does this sound.... "Sexy, Reliable, Not too Old, Not too Young, Sensitive, Respectful, Astonishingly loving and caring in and out of Bed, Faithful....Sexy (wait...I said that twice...lol)"

I realised that I may not be the only person asking you for that. So if you're too busy granting the same request to the other 1Million people with your weird funny twist in them, I would much rather that you bless me for my Sexy Job (yes, it was in the same request as the Sexy Guy..you must really have been in the listening mood..I am not sure whether to be grateful or not..haha) first, then later in the year grant me that wish without your twists and turns...yes...I admit they have been fantastically interesting, soul lifting and all at the same time, heart wrenching...but please consider that although I am young at heart, but physically and emotionally just not as up to it as I have been before.

So pretty please do consider my request."

Note: Just for laughs, but if god really does exist and is listening, have this to say... Laugh all you want.. but one day I will get what I asked for. =P

For those Ladies out there who think that they need to lose some...

2010-10-05T06:53:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been a good long 10 months since my last posting. Even I didn't realise it. It still amazes me how fast time flies by. Have been really busy with my own endeavors, but more on that on my later postings!

Anyways, a quick one on what I wanted to share which hopefully will inspire some of you who have been wanting to do it, or is trying to do it. The much aspired issue of "Losing Weight".

Firstly, am going to share some graphical pictures here to which I am not proud of, and would normally BURN TO A CRISP! (I am ONLY doing this for those ladies out there, for those who have been there or are still there and for those who had asked me to....) These are pictures of me during what I would call my "poofy-est" times, Year 2008 where munching on too much chocolate bars and Baskin Robbins coupled with work stress had finally done me in from a 48kg to a 55kg.

Note: Viewer discretion necessary.

For those of you who think that it isn't a lot, it is for me, especially when I had to change my entire wardrobe of clothes in order to accomodate for the extra inches around the belly. No more work pants for me, only skirts as they were easier if alterations were necessary. And yes, Year 2008 was the year that I even had friends asking if I was pregnant. *sheesh* AND, NO, I WASN'T PREGNANT, "just fat"! =P

One thing to note is that every woman's body is different. Or should I say that different parts get fat before other parts do. So know your body well before you do any change to it. For me, it is obvious that the spare tyre becomes a full tyre, before the arse and bust kicks in, and then the face balloons. And yes, I took as little full body pictures as possible in Year 2008, and pictures that I took mostly had me either in baby doll clothes covering the full tyre, or a bag in the way.

And how much of a difference, from then till now. I've found a picture of me wearing the same darn top, and so here it is......

See a marked difference? Those who know me and seen me recently will know how much I have slimmed down. Note that those pictures have not been edited or skewed.

I had that weight of about 55kgs for Year 2008 and in that year, had kept on telling myself that I wanted to lose weight. It wasn't only just the looks that waivered my confidence, but I started getting health problems - knee problems identified by the specialist as being early arthiritis. So much so, that it really hurt when I walked too much or even walked down a flight of staircase. And then I was prescribed, glucosamine ~ the exact same pills that my own parents takes! Old before my time, god no!

I had to lose weight. I figured that if I wasn't fit, healthy and sexy in my 30s, there would be a very high probability that I wouldn't ever be after that.

My reasonable target was to go down to a healthy 47kgs, and almost impossible, ideal target was 45kgs which was during my college years. By June 2009, I had already achieved my 47kgs and maintained it for the rest of the year. Right now, it's harder for me to put on weight than to lose weight, and in fact have to eat more to maintain it. (And yes, am privilaged now to have nasi lemak as my dinner!) Am currently at my ideal weight of 45kgs without even trying, and yes, I can wear back my college years skirts.

In fact, now I need to gain weight as 45kgs is seemingly too thin. But I am stronger than before, able to do at least some pull ups on the exercise bar attached to the door frame. Have in fact, slacked off in the last two months without any exercise but have still maintained my weight. That would have been impossible in the past.

How the hell did I do it? Even I surprised myself that I could, and did.

Am not advocating any "quick-lose-weight-diet" plan or scheme but just the good old fashion, change and watch what you eat and some good old exercise.

I always hear ladies saying how they are skipping dinner as part of their diet plan. This isn't a healthy and long term way of losing weight. Skipping meals causes puts your body in starvation mode, and causes your blood sugar level to crash, hence, the tiredness and grumpiness. And when we eat the next meal, we will tend to overcompensate for it. Definitely NOT healthy!

What worked for me was that I started out with some light but interesting exercise in the first month (only once a week). But what really made a difference wasn't the light but interesting exercise, but the food that I ate. Like what a guy friend adviced, it's 70% food and 30% exercise (or was it 90% food and 10% exercise??). He introduced me to eating rolled oats in the morning with fruits to make it more pleasant to the tastebuds. And yes, I cut down on eating carbs, ie rice. Oats in the morning, sandwich (wholemeal not white!) in the afternoon, and just normal meals with double veg portions and normal meat portions but without rice. Of course it takes time to get used to not eating carbs with being a Malaysian and a nasi lemak fan. But it actually worked. And yes, totally no sugared drinks. And also plenty of fruits. After about 3 to 4 months of that, I actually lost about roughly 4 to 5kgs.

Then the hard work came! I sweated it out at the gym for about one and a half months. Started out at 10 minutes at the treadmill, 30 situps, another 10 minutes at the cycling machine, more sit ups, then 10-15 leg raises, then another 10 minutes at the step machine, and lastly, some weights training for the arms and shoulders (a must!). It was a dreaded first week when I started. Gym previously was boring to me, hated the running in the same place sort of thing. But I brought a book along, and when I couldn't read, oogled at the men showing off (haha..no not really..well maybe sometimes), and looked in the mirror to check myself out. Do what you can to keep yourself entertained. After the first two weeks, it started getting easier and I found myself wanting to go to the gym. Something to do with sweating being sexy. =P At the end of June, 47kgs.

For those ladies interested, at the end of the month at gym, I was doing about 25 minutes at the treadmill, 25 minutes cycling, 25 minutes step machine, and I think a total of 60 to 80 situps in the whole period. Keep increasing your time at a reasonable pace and amount! Try to do a little bit more at every session where possible!

Moral of the Story:-

1) Do not give into that evil voice in your head saying, "oh, just a small bite of that fried chicken or nasi lemak" (at least not for the first 3 months to 6 months). Learn how to say "NO!"

2) Cut down on Carbs and Sugar but do it slowly and in stages. (And yes, less oily things too)

3) Exercise for overall weight loss! If you hate the gym, go join pole dancing or some other exercise (sorry, not yoga, it's not vigorous enough in the beginning for that and p/s: be ready for a smaller bust size after your entire healthy regime)

4) Exercise more for specific weight loss! For eg, if you have a full belly like me, you'll have to do more situps or leg raises

It is POSSIBLE to achieve your targeted weight loss without paying loads of money but make sure it's a healthy targeted weight loss and that you're not instead underweight for your height and frame. And oh, it helps to read up on nutrition as well.

Also, do note that after achieving your targeted weight, you will need to start eating back more carbs and sugar to maintain the weight *yippie*nasi lemak back again!*, but still do watch what you are eating. It doesn't mean going back to old eating habits. Remember that everything needs to be done in moderation.

I hope my personal story is an encouragement for those of you who are in it to persist through and for those who should start, to start! Good luck and cheers to healthy eating and exercise!

Just 24 more hours to go!

2010-01-15T05:29:00.000-08:00

Mmmmmm....damn, this is one heck of a long day.

Am guessing that tomorrow will be the longest day of my life until I get myself to the airport. Am hyper now even though I only had 5 hours of sleep last night. Yes, excitement and chaos reigns in my heart right now. Am guessing that I will be much more jittery as tomorrow advances.

It's wonderful how the start of a new chapter in life begins in 24 hours with a smile and a hello. =)

p/s: Thank you, Mother Nature for keeping your end of the bargain. Airports running like usual, and the snow has reduced! Cheers!

A Day of All Sorts!

2010-01-11T10:50:00.000-08:00

Oh, what a day!

Recently, I have been frequenting Kepong a fair few times with my oven being de-commissioned and all. I have to say, these table top ovens are rarely accurate - with at least a 50 degree celsius difference, one time it went up to a 100 degree celsius difference, hence the need to get it repaired. Imagine my poor burnt breads. Ah, yes, my "aunty-ness" levels have just tripled over the number of weeks - with all these baking and cooking.

By the way, Kepong is one hell of a confusing place to be in. Fabulous road side stalls there but roads are hay wired, cars moving in all directions, lorries suddenly appearing. Ok - I may be exaggerating a wee bit. In any case, it's still a confusing place to drive in. But the place that beats Kepong is Selayang and Batu Caves. My girlfriend and I decided to give the Selayang Pasar Borong (Pasar Boring = Wholesale Market, for the Malay illiterrate) a visit and ended up somehow at the KL Pasar Borong. Don't ask me how, but after the number of U-turns and wrong roads, a lost sense of direction and a huge splitting headache at the end, we managed to get there. I pride myself on being quite road savy, but after this day, there are definitely some places where a GPRS would be useful especially since Malaysian road signs are either non-existent, inadequately worded or inappropriately located. It also doesn't help that most roads in that area are dotted with many potholes.

The KL Pasar Borong was interesting with all fresh fruits, vegetables and probably meat or seafood produce - everything sold in cartons and bulk. We arrived rather late, not being much of a morning person, so the meat or seafood section was already closed by then.

Also, note to self:- For any future visits to any pasar borong, it is a necessity to dress like an "aunty", maybe go dressed in track suit, huge baggy t-shirt and those big round geeky black glasses from my primary school years with my hair tied up in a bun. I have never ever had in my whole life altogether, so many men staring and whistling at me and my gf at the same time. All heads turned and worked stopped. It wasn't just the foreign men, but also the local men. We were there after all just to look at the food produce and not to be looked at. And we were not dressed in anything sexy : my usual t-shirt, shorts and slippers.

I really felt like I was on sale together with the vegetables. It was quite uncomfortable and as we left, we made sure that we double locked the car. Better safe than sorry.

It was a day to remember, but not a day to be repeated.

Countdown : 7 days!!!!

2010-01-09T02:35:00.000-08:00

Finally, the final week is here! Just a little bit more of patience is necessary and a lot more of praying.

"He's arriving soon!" Through all that snow and distance between us, that is if Mother Nature will answer our prayers, let down her defenses for just a little while and let the plane through all that horrendous weather. Yes, no doubt we deserve it with all the havoc that we caused you. But I promise to double up my efforts on recycling and maybe become a total maniac on it. Even carry my lunch box around in case I need to "tapau" food instead of getting those little plastic boxes. Thank you, thank you, I will be ever so "grateful". *big smile*

Just thought that I would share my happiness with the world. Don't hate me for it. =)

Homemade Thin Crusted Pizza!

2010-01-01T10:31:00.000-08:00

Love the smell of fresh oven pizza?

Well, make your own right at home. It is really simple, ie dummy proof - of course provided you have these few equipment in hand, (1) Your Hands (A food processor with a dough hook will shorten the time, but your hands would do just fine); (2) An oven (even a round convection roasting oven works); (3) A pizza pan (10 inch), and lastly (4) A strong craving for your own fresh pizza at a marginally lower price.

Am going to share the recipe here, just in case any of you have a sudden pizza craving but don't want to reach out the phone for Pizza Hut or Dominos.

Dough Ingredients:-
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon instant dry yeast
3/4 cup lukewarm water

Instructions:- (a) If kneading by hand
1) Add the flour, salt, instant dry yeast in a bowl and pour the water in slowly to mix the ingredients with a spoon until the dough is ready to be formed into a ball. If the mixture is too wet and sticky, salvage it by adding some flour (in my case half a tablespoon to one tablespoon).
2) Remove from bowl to a clean table surface. Put some flour (1/2 tablespoon to 1 tablespoon) on it and dust your hands with flour to avoid the dough from sticking to the table and you, of course. Knead for about two to five minutes.For the newbies, kneading consist of rolling the dough into a ball, holding the dough with one hand and with the other hand pushing outwards to stretch the dough, and then pulling it back, then half turning the dough and repeating the same thing.
3) Shape it back into a round ball and roll out by hand into a circle to fit your pizza pan. (I cheated here by using a rolling pin to flatten it to a 3mm thick layer. There should be some leftover dough. The recipe was meant for a 12" pizza)
4) Place dough on a slightly oiled pizza pan and viola, its ready for you to put your desired mixture on it - mine for the day was my 1 cup of uncooked pizza sauce, a slice of ham, mortadella, slices of salami, white mushroom sliced, and sliced onions. (One of my sins is gluttony, it definitely had too much of a good thing in it but it tasted so damn good! Reduce the filling in order to have the crust at the bottom to be well crusty. Or remove from pan in 2/3 of the required baking time and place on a wire rack to continue baking).
5) Preheat the oven to as close to 500F for roughly 10-15 minutes (some ovens don't even reach 500F, mine only up to 450F). Bake pizza for 10-12 minutes, and put a generous mozzarella cheese only at the 11th minute of baking or if you prefer, after it has been taken out of the oven.

As for the homemade uncooked pizza sauce, prepare it before you make the dough to avoid any waiting time. Ingredients are as follows:- 7 oz. of crushed tomatoes (you can blend them but do not over blend, you still want them to be a bit chunky), 1 oz. of tomato paste, 1 tbsps parmesan cheese, 1/4 tsp Oregano, 1/2 tbsp minced fresh garlic, 1/4 tbsp black pepper, 3/4 tsps sugar and 1/2 teaspoons of basil. Whisk all together and allow flavors to blend for one hour before using.

And there you have it, delicious thin crusted pizza! Bon Appettite! :)

Seafood Cravings at PJ Seafood Restaurant, Tropicana

2010-01-01T08:56:00.000-08:00

PJ Seafood Restaurant is located at Kampung Cempaka just off the road in front of the Tropicana Golf Club before the tunnel. It took us some time to reach there as the roads had changed, there was a traffic jam as usual and plenty of U-turns had to be made to even reach the place.

Since time immemorial, PJ Seafood Restaurant had always been famous for its "Lai Yao Hai" (butter crab) and "Ham Tan Hai" (egg salted crab, and yes, my Ping Yin is still crappy as usual. =P ). My memories of this seafood restaurant extended as far back as six years ago. I've always had a great time eating here on numerous occasions years back when they still had a fishing pond that actually allows its customers to catch their own meal of the day. My usual favorites then was the steamed cod fish and the sweet sour crabs with fried mantao. The dishes were always fresh, crabs a good size, prices reasonable and service good.

It was however, a big big letdown during our recent trip there. Our list of complaints were really long:- Firstly, the lady was pushy in recommending her more expensive dishes; the steamed rice served was probably leftovers; the order for "ku loh yok" came in as a sizable medium which we thought was way too much as we had ordered 5 dishes for a company of six girls; the steamed tilapia fish was way too small; and the famous butter crab had shrunk in size. Taunted as a medium, it seemed more like a small. Is it me?!!! Or has food in Malaysia decreased in size except for the price tag. And the worst was that the sweet and sour crab wasn't at all fresh. We could distinctively smell the staleness under all the sauce. Exercising our consumer rights, we had it changed at the price of a pretty sour face that gave no apologies.

Being a typical Malaysian crazy about food, I usually would have my face stuck in my food especially seafood. But our experience left me with little appetite. The only two saving grace was that the thai coconut water was just nicely matured with some thicker amounts of meat to chew (pointed out by my friend which wasn't even made by them) and that the fish was quite fresh.

Luckily the damage was not a huge amount - RM25 per person. But our unanimous verdict from the girls for the day was an unfortunate resounding "Never Again"!!! Visit at your own peril.

Goodbye 2009, Hello 2010!

2009-12-31T08:37:00.000-08:00

How time flies by - another year has flown by.

Somehow, as the years pass by, holiday seasons make me want to spend some quiet time at home. It has already been an eventful year - depleting my yearning to go out of the year with a bang. No, it has nothing to do with aging. I still feel young, evidenced by my unintentional declaration on my first blood donation form as being still in the twenties a few weeks ago. It took my girlfriend five seconds to point out my mistake. And me another ten seconds wondering what I filled wrongly. The only dead-give-away of me aging is that almost everyone else around me is either already engaged, married or with cooing kids. Throw me in the streets without the dead giveaways (haha, no offence) and voila, I am in my mid 20s again (plus the creaky knees and bad memory). It's rare for people to re-live their twenties, I am glad to get a second chance.

Reflections of 2009:- As I always like to put it, Year 2009 was my turning point, a year of change. It was the year that I started truly discovering what I wanted in myself or the life that I want. It has so far been an memorable journey full of laughter, fun, passion, smiles, and yet some tears and heartaches. I must say, I am grateful for what 2009 has brought to me, my independence, an unexpected love, a closer relationship with my parents, the Beijing experience, time spent with my buddy, new friendships, lots and lots of laughter, my yearning for more new adventures and the realization of my next step among others. But not everything was good - like the death of certain relationships. But it reminds me of what matters in life and what is real. But still overall, it has been a good year for me personally.

I wonder what 2010 will bring. I hope still more laughter in life, continued good health for myself and the people that I love, strengthened and happy relationships, continuous improvements in all aspects of life, clarity, courage and of course, prosperity and luck in my endeavors.

Well, here's to wishing everyone happiness in 2010. May everything be a blessing in life. =)

Will You Be My Bread Friend?

2009-10-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know...as the time passes by, my blog titles start sounding totally weird.

Am excited - as I usually am.

I have started taking up certain small hobbies recently, doing some of the things that I've never been able to do, afraid to try, but secretly wanting to learn. For instance, I am starting to learn how to play the acoustic guitar. I am musically challenged/ deaf by the way. You will rarely see me sing in a KTV. And when I do, it means that I probably had to douse myself with alcohol because I did not really want to remember if beer glasses cracked due to my uneven pitch. And when I was eight, I took piano lessons - painstakingly trying to understand what the heck notes were. Needless to say, I was not very inspired. And when my first exams came, I dropped out from classes and never resumed. Need I say more?

But surprisingly, am really starting to enjoy strumming my lil red guitar (of course, it helps to be in the privacy of my own home!). I had some complaints in the beginning - my fingers hurt, my hands were too small, my strumming was crap, there was no rhythm, blah blah...and I realized I actually had this fear of making music, and worst still, be heard making it. It took some encouragement and help from someone, some time, more practice, and two favourite songs - Home by Daughtry and one that will go unnamed for good reasons. =P But now, I can now sit here for hours with my slowly harden fingertips (yes, now nudges with these power fingers will be very painful indeed!) and attempt to get the sounds right. It is hard, but not as Impossible as I had imagined it to be.

And, I have just thought out a new hobby for myself. Am going to learn how to BAKE!!!! (Yes, am trying to catch up with the years of "domestication" that I seem to lack, but no, not really..haha..)

So, once again, I ask, "Will you be my Bread Friend?"

As my official Bread Friend, I pledge and promise to send some edible, hopefully nice, definitely healthy, hot loaves of homemade bread or cake to you, once I get the overpowering urge to bake in large quantities. It would be a waste to leave it to just ME, Myself and I. In return, I hope you'll enjoy them and leave me some comments on taste, texture and smell for my future improvement. Its a win win situation unless of course, it turns out to be one hard rock bread/ cake, to which on the bright side, you could always use as a weapon for future purse snatchers or robbers.

So, any takers?

Note:- Only available in Klang Valley. haha.

"What is your deepest fear?"

2009-10-18T00:35:00.000-07:00

Indeed - its a great question. Do you ever ask yourself that?

As quoted from Coach Carter played by Samuel L. Jackson.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you.We are all meant to shine as children do. Its not just in some of us; its in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsiously give other people the permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Profound, ain't it?

My deepest fears? Mmmmm, its an easy answer which encompasses everything - "Not living and loving life hard enough."

The Dust Starts to Settle!

2009-10-13T08:48:00.000-07:00

It has just been 65 days since I came back from Beijing and 11 days since my guy said his goodbyes to all things familiar (including me *sobBBB*) to him in his 30 day stay with me.

It has been a busy good two months for me, but yes, the dust has finally started to settle down.

As I blog, am sitting here in my study room, eating one of the tropical delights of my country - honey nangka (aka jackfruit) bought in Tesco for RM6 (pretty expensive huh!). It's one of the tastiest fruit that I've ever sunk my teeth into. I swear I can finish the whole pack (9-10 pieces inside) and probably a second pack in one night alone. Am trying to recall what other fruits that I'm so crazily in love with (Sorry, babes....hehe), and the only answer that I come up with is, watermelon and the pink jambu. But am not so crazy about them, but honey nangka, whoo weee.... I made such frequent stops to my previous local fruit shop to enquire on their availability, that they asked me to leave my phone number. Go try some yourself. You'll love it but remember, HONEY nangka and not the normal ones.

Am done with most of my unpacking, YAY!!!!! Except still for the kitchen - am still cooking on temporary hobs. Don't ask, it's a long long story. It's a pretty small condo - probably about 600sq ft with a open space area for the kitchen, one bathroom, and two rooms which one has already been turned into a study room/ partial store. Those who have been to my previous house would understand the amount of junk that I have - and yes, I officially hate moving, and dread the day that I would have to move away from this little place of mine. Honestly, I got this place because it had great facilities - Gym, Squash Courts, Swimming pool!!!

P/s: My future visitors would either have to bunk right next to me in my bed (Disclaimer: Provided its not already filled up by my darling!) or the sofa. And my sofa is BIG! (Yes, my sofa - not my bed! Better that, than my bed...haha....) Hmm, I still wonder if I should have a housewarming, or maybe a BBQ party at the swimming pool. (Sorry guys, the gals will not be decked out in bikinis much to your disappointment!). Hmmmmm...

ANYWAYS, today, Nemo officially has two new partners in crime - a Coral Banded Shrimp and a Sailfin Tang. (Yes, I have a two feet saltwater aquarium at home! My own little piece of the ocean.) I had always wanted to put an end to Nemo's lonely bachelor life. He didn't seem too appreciative about it today. Ever got attacked by Nemo before? Well, I did - NUMEROUS times this evening. And it actually did hurt. Yes, I am such a baby but talk about literally "Biting the hand that feeds you". I would have thought that such a small little thing like that would have fear for hands 10 times bigger than him, mind you, both of my hands were in the tank, but NOoOOOo, he went for them anyways. Small kids bully me, and apparently, small fishes as well.

As we speak, Nemo is suspiciously eyeing the shrimp, bobbing up and down from a safe distance. I hope the Sailfin survives her seven days quarantine. She was playing dead in the first five minutes in her makeshift home - a red pail. Sea creatures are such fascinating creatures - I could sit for hours watching them.

My days recently have been very focused on establishing a comfy zone. Am trying to get some sense of routine into my life these couple of days in preparation for a bigger "purpose". And yes, am also trying to fill up the empty space left behind by a certain someone. It was nice having someone in the house to bump into, to say good morning and good night to, to share a tea session or ice cream session with, to listen to various random unexpected noises and expressions all day and night, to have a smile returned, to watch him sleep peacefully next to me.....Yeah, I definitely got used to the good life.

It is more difficult than I thought it would be to get used to this quietness in the house - I leave the music in the daytime blaring loudly and proceed with my day, and yet, it still doesn't feel the same. Something is missing, someone is missed.

But life still goes on - we both have things to accomplish at our side of the world. Until then, patience is the key word.

All good things come to those who wait. And thus, I shall wait.

What???!! Again???!!! ^%!#$!# Argghh!!!!

I am only kidding. haha. Of course, I shall wait - Anything for you, Babes.

(Hopefully, not for too long. Come back, come back where ever you are! =P)

The Best 30 Days Yet in 2009!

2009-10-02T04:47:00.000-07:00

Its the 30th Day today.

It's hard to describe what I feel. My brain is a bit dull with just 3 hours of sleep. And am trying to avoid any hard menial thinking but there's this sneaky feeling that soon I will get hit by a bus of feelings when I get back home - alone by myself.

Yes, I know - there I was screaming out new found joy of my freedom and independence, that it seems almost ridiculous that I will long for someone. But hell, I really do. Yes, the Impossible DOES happen, It DID happen, and It IS Happening. I had expected to be the Rule, and not the Exception. Some parts of me of course hoped to be the Exception, but I knew from experience that Expecting the Exception was not a wise thing. (Yes, how confusing!) And it was rather confusing to my defense, but somehow it's working out to be alright. For once, it's nice to be the Exception and not the Rule.

I've met someone. Sorry guys!

Sexiest creature alive - I must say. Am smiling as I type this. I can safely say that he's more of a man than I've ever met and probably ever will meet. How we met and how we found each other is an interesting story, and is definitely not one that is easily explainable. (And so with this disclaimer, I probably won't need to explain to friends and family????...haha...) Nothing is conventional about us - that's the fun and challenging part. We have our vast differences (words that I know he will love to hear me pronounce! Grrrr...) of course, but yet, so much similarity that it can be scary sometimes. And although there's no foreseen sure future waiting for us, but one thing I am certain of - He looks at me the same way I look at him.

And that alone, is enough said. I miss you, Babes...

Which Category are You In?

2009-09-01T09:14:00.000-07:00

I always believe that Actions speak louder than Words...And in many cases, Inaction also speaks very loudly.

Some people in this world are very complex indeed - All that they feel and think is kept inside quietly and their expressions or words carefully thought out for cunning display, although not truly reflecting how they feel inside. And some people are the total opposite, they say what they feel and think - some very brashly with zero thinking, some very diplomatically with some thoughtfulness.

Which category are you in?

I would like to think that I am in Category 3 - direct, honest, but diplomatic with some thoughtfulness. The things that I say and do, shows exactly its purpose and forthrightfulness, but sometimes structured in a way not to hurt other people's feelings. But I am human too, sometimes I can be very brash with zero thinking, to which I usually immediately apolagize to. And if I don't apologize , it means that I had a message to send, and YES, I DID intend to hurt your feelings. Sometimes, it could probably mean that you need a WAKE UP CALL.

And it doesn't matter if what I did was twisted into something bad. I never cared for what other people think as long as my message went through. They can shoot and hang me for all I care. But I mean what I say and I say what I mean.

Some people are not worth the effort. "Do not make someone a priority when they make you an option in life." - something that a friend taught me. It makes perfect sense.

My life goes on - and goes on very well, with a clear conscience, which is more than what I can say for some people.

The Truth Always Hurts

2009-08-31T09:14:00.001-07:00

Some people say "Blood Runs Thicker Than Water"....

Sometimes they are wrong - dead wrong. That's the reason why families have their own family feud. Because they let it happen. Especially when a wrong is not righted. Especially when the people who did wrong feels no remorse, no guilt at the hurt that they inflicted on those who supported them without any expectations in their whole life. Deep down, they know it is wrong. But they hide such Truths from themselves, afraid to face the fact that they have changed for the worse.

Maybe and only maybe when tradegy strikes, only they will realised how wrong they were before. But by then, it probably will be all too late.

How important it is never to assume that family will always be there, will always forgive even if you do something wrong, that they can sacrifice for you just because you deem yourself important to them.

Parents always readily suffer in silence, because their love for their children knows no boundaries. And some selfish children take this to their advantage, refuse to acknowledge the hurt that they cause - thinking that they have done right.

Forgetting the people who matters most - the people who supported us no matter what, picked us up when we fell, who sat up all night beside our hospital bed worried that we are uncomfortable or in pain, people who taught us about how to be a better and stronger person in life.

Sadly, some parents will still suffer in silence even until their passing. By then, no amounts of sorries would be good enough. Parents are not here forever.

Such people are big disappointments in life - to the people who love them and also mainly to themselves. Somehow they evolve to be someone who keeps making mistakes, who keeps hurting others. They become selfish, self centered, ignorant that pretense creates more hurt.

Harsh? The Truth unfortunately is usually Harsh and Very Ugly.

And the Truth cannot be changed. Today, I seeked the Truth. I had hoped that I was wrong. And that redemption was still possible. It isn't. That now is the Ugly Truth.

Self Reflections

2009-08-28T10:30:00.000-07:00

I have this strong belief that we, as "decent" human beings should self measure ourselves every once in a while.

Reflect on ourselves, to see where we have come from, what we have achieved and become.

It's not about how much we make out of our careers, or how far we have climbed in the corporate ladder, or what car we have, or what house we have or how much we have in the bank account. Some will argue otherwise. I still believe that "SUCCESS" is the ability to do what one loves, and at the same time, touching other people's life the right and good way, protecting what is important in their lives - people that they love, and remembering and respecting their roots.

It saddens me when some people blinded by their own selfish needs in life, loses the bigger picture of what is important in life. And it saddens and angers me more to see other people who love them get hurt and taken for granted in the process.

We often don't realise how important it is in life to be "decent, honest, and self-sacrificing". And often, our selfishness tends to blind us in making the wrong decisions in life. When that veil of deception disappears, one can only hope that regrets are not too late. Some hurts cannot be absolved even with time. For one who lets it come to that stage, only god will at the end judge them. Harsh and grim as it sounds, I believe in Karma. Don't do to others what you won't want done to you.

Look in the mirror and ask yourself, is this the person that I want to become?

One of the Many Things Bothering Me - H1N1 in Malaysia

2009-08-11T13:03:00.000-07:00

One would think that I would feel at peace coming home to my beloved homeland.

So far, apart from great home cooking, and good company, its been less than desirable. 38 deaths in Malaysia itself due to H1N1. Did you know that under Wikipedia, we are the 11th country with the highest confirmed death rate?

And in the Star, there's an article entitled "Govt to launch large-scale H1N1 awareness campaign". Is that all the Government is doing? Other than ordering anti-viral medicine? Local clinics and public hospitals are reportedly unable to handle so many suspected cases, hence turning patients back home for home quarantine. Effective? Again I doubt it. It feels so much that Malaysia has been caught unprepared. And worst still, seemingly unable to control the situation.

Probably, too much politicking has been happening lately. Everyone has been so focused on the political nature of winning citizens hearts, that certain critical things seemed to have been not been given the focus. H1N1 wasn't given the appropriate attention in a timely manner that should have been:- It's a a deadly threat to not only Malaysians but the whole world. H1N1 awareness campaign??? Is that all we can do? What happened to controlling the borders? Checking people with temperatures, quarantining them at a proper healthcare facility? Awareness campaign?!!!!!! Just scream 38 deaths and 11th highest confirmed death rate in the world on every local newspaper headline, that should be enough for an awareness campaign. So much lip service, but seemingly so little action.

God help us. I fear for our future as a Country and as Malaysians in many ways. So much that I just posted my comment to The Star Online. I certainly hope so that someone in the authorities will sit up and do something "Real" and something "More" about it.

Please read on, H1N1 affects us as a world community.

My Comments:- "H1N1: Social Responsibility is Over-rated!"

Reading the newspapers these days has gotten me worried. A person can have H1N1 without even knowing it. How does one differentiate a normal flu from H1N1. Looks like a normal flu, talks like a normal flu.

It deeply concerns me that it looked as if H1N1 is only headlined when someone dies. It takes a life or many lifes in this case to be taken, in order to have somewhat of an attention given to it. Prevention is better than cure. I believe the government will need to take a more active role in dealing with this H1N1 instead of just passing it on as a social responsibility to the community. Unfortunately, it looks as if our government has acted too slowly in this case, and H1N1 spreading like wildfire. Home quarantined? One must surely wonder if this is really effective. What real actions is taken to prevent less people from bringing this desease in?

I was just at the airport a few days ago taking the MH378 flight back to Malaysia from Beijing. Out of curiosity, I especially noted the measures being taken on this H1N1 issues.

I had only noted TWO obvious measure. ONLY TWO. And they mostly only screamed out "social responsibility" to me.

The FIRST measure:- A declaration form prepared at the check in counter which detailed your particulars, seat number, and declaration of whether you've been to any H1N1 listed areas by the WHO. (Unfortunately, if one has not been reading the news or checking up on WHO's website, they would not know where those listed areas would be. The declaration form had no such listing, and assumed that passengers would know.) This declaration form had to be given to an officer waiting at one walkway of the area before catching the aerotrain. I assume was either from KLIA or from the government health department. Numerous people were not even aware that the form was mandatory. Effective? Obviously not.

The SECOND measure:- Distributing of pamplets entitled "Patient Home Care Advice" and "Health Alert Card" which in part advised the seeking of medical care when "you have difficulty breathing, or you're coughing out blood" among others. Now this really bothers me...I would have probably be very seriously ill before seeking medical attention. Effective? Again, screaming "CURE is the only way that we have. Forget prevention!"

If the pamplet was suppose to spread awareness, it would probably already be too late. From my observation, I was probably was the only few passengers who was using a facemask during my flight and when I was at both Beijing airport & KLIA and the number of passengers wearing masks at the airport were probably less than 1%. Again, I ask, "Is social responsibility the effective way? Or we not over-relying on this?"

ONE FINAL thing that really bothered me was that when I arrived in KLIA, there was no temperature check done at all. We left the plane easily AS USUAL.

Maybe we need to learn from our neighbouring countries, the sort of methods taken to detect possibly infected passengers. My parents were over in Beijing just a month ago on Airasia, and upon arrival, the Chinese officers actually check the temperature of each and every passenger on the plane itself, and not ONCE but TWICE. I waited for more than an hour for their disembarkation wondering what had happened. And it so happened that one passenger was detected with a fever, and the Chinese officers actually refused disembarkation to at least 5 or six rows of people around him. An ambulance came later to send these people to a special place for quarantine. Effective? Definately more so than just distributing pamplets & distribution forms.

I am really hoping that more emphasis will be equally put on PREVENTION rather than only just cure. Yes, we also need to emphasize on the CURE especially now, but not at the expense of PREVENTION. Here we are busy raising awareness on home quarantine and waiting for the anti-viral drugs to arrive, and on the other hand, very possibly more infected and unaware people are coming into the country. I very strongly disagree with the statement made by our Health Minister that "social distancing programmes and measures sufficed for now." Its simply NOT effective enough. Scarier still, it seems as if our private & public health sector is unable to deal with all these possible cases of H1N1.

38 deaths. How many more will have to die in order for someone to look seriously at PREVENTION and CURE in a more effective manner?

Leaving on a JetPlane....or rather MAS airlines! =P

2009-08-08T16:21:00.000-07:00

Yes, its my last nine hours in Beijing, and the clock is ticking.

How do I feel? Well oh, right now, my panicking feeling is masking all my sadness. The fear of excess baggage is great.... so great..... Oh wells, me and my ridiculous love for a new sport... (It comprises the most of my luggage - 15kgs. One single item alone. ha ha ha. hey, its the accountant part in me...most things produced in China are way much cheaper than anywhere else....it should be well worth it!)

Am leaving at least half of what I initially brought here, which is not much... but indicates that I will be back in the near near future. Unfortunately, not anytime early this year...so it means that I'll be home bound for at least another half year, which is not so bad... (am reasoning with myself...haha) ...of course, already there are many things that I look forward to back home....family & friends, gatherings, SHWM, familiar but totally unhealthy cheap good local food in Malaysia, uncensored web usage (which I understand may change soon..but oh no, not another China in Malaysia...)

Ok, panicky feeling has gone down now.

Its been 5 marvelous months here. I was sitting in this very chair last night in the dark, lighted by just my table lamp as I watched the seconds on the clock go by, with the peaceful but familiar sound of nothingness in the apartment... I felt very sad. It was finally ending... and although I know that I will be back, but still.... It must be human nature to not want to leave somethings good in life.

This has been my home for the last 5 months, a big big Thank You to my girlfriend for making it so. I more so feel reluctant to leave because of her. She has been more than my friend in my whole stay here. She has been part of my family. My experience here in China has been made available due to her. Am thankful, grateful that she's given me an opportunity to step out of my comfort box. Someday, hopefully... I will return the favour.

In the past week and more, I've been preparing to go back, saying my goodbyes to the ones still left in Beijing and to new friends made here. I have to say, I have multiple homes in my heart, but all these, I realised...are made homes because of the connections that we have made in life and the memories that we make. Of course, there are multiple things that I will miss about China (not so much the spitting and scary public toilets!), A21 ban, walking to school in the morning with my head in the clouds feeling at peace and happy everyday, cramping for exams in coffee shops, explicitly expressive moments in class, interesting drunk experiences at certain moments (haha, yes indeed it was interesting...), holidays in Southern Beijing with my parents, changing but tantalising fruit seasons, great coffee moments with great conversations, great scallop moments in the Wu, exhausting gym sessions with my gf followed by fresh homecooked food.... I could just go on and on...

Even so that I know that I will miss all those things above but I know that my "Adventures in Life" still has not ended but on the contrary, it just started. There's so much to life when you make up your mind to make it so. Am excited too about going home. Such conflicting feelings. ha ha. I guess thats what happens when the world slowly becomes your home.

For today, "Goodbye Beijing, Hello Malaysia..."

Arggh...for god sake!!!!!

2009-07-23T05:44:00.000-07:00

OMG!!!!! This is the first time in more than a month that I am able to even access my blog. The Chinese Government is really really GOOD. The proxy that I usually used to get to my blog was closed down soon after my last entry. Darn it. There must be a better way than this. For those of you who has been wondering, where the hell have I gone. This IS mainly the problem...(Please note that IS is in Caps...this isn't the end of my problems!)

Here I am itching, itching to write, and I can't get on. Its been frusfrating, my friends. And NO, I am not dead yet! haha, am still here in Beijing, just too damn hard to get on. I will have to create my own blog soon where I don't need to go through blogspot or others, just in case the rest also gets blocked. I feel its a matter of time before I lose all msn capabilities. :P Facebook has unofficially been closed down by the government too right after the riots in Xinjiang. And I heard twitter as well. And again, NO, I am not dead in Facebook YET, just Missing In Action (MIA). Annoys me heaps. Makes me wonder if I should even come back when all communications might be severed here. Food for thought...

Anyways, NEWSFLASH! I am going back to Malaysia on the 9th August to spend some time with family and the new additional bundle of joy! Yay! And maybe I will be able to post about my trip to the southern part of China, together with some great pictures and traveling recommendations. Unfortunately, my Tibet trip had to be postponed due to budget issues. It became two times more expensive..ouch!!! On the positive side, I have approximately another two weeks here in Beijing to appreciate and enjoy. Hopefully, I will be back soon...

Xue Xiao Jie Shu le! aka School is Officially Over!

2009-06-18T11:28:00.000-07:00

Its hard to believe that 3 months flew by so fast.

In my time of absence on blogspot, I've already studied (or more known as crammed), sat for my exams, graduated and said most of my farewells to dear "tong xue"s (classmates). Its so sad with this castrated form of blogspot, I can't even put up pictures of my dear friends.

We had a potluck on Wednesday night with different dishes; Korean (veggie with great spicy tasting meat, and kim chi of course and others which I cannot name for the life of me...haha), Jap (the triangle sushi, hehe what crappy abreviations, my explanations does the food no justice...it really tasted good), Vietnamese (rice ball caked in sesame seeds with a hint of coconut in it), Swedish (thin crusted pepperoni pizza and oh, apple pie which was i would just plainly explain with one word "orgasmic". Another dish that i found to be better than sex. hahaha..) and of course, your's truly Malaysian Prawn noodles which probably was a tad too spicy... haha.. and oh, great fruity desserts. The night ended with me not being able to resist some great grilled scallops in Wudaokou at the night market. Another "orgasmic" dish... haha i seem to be getting that a lot these days. Maybe my numbered days here are making me taste a thousand and one flavors.

Sitting here now in a cafe guan while i type this out. Its sad that schools over. I had felt so at home with everyone and with my current lifestyle. Wouldn't it be nice to continue to be young forever? Friends meet and friends part. Everyone with a different journey or path in life. Am guessing that no matter what, some of us would think back to A21 ban with smiles. My class was a real hoot! We had some delightful jokers in it. Even our teachers were greatly amused by us and occasionally joining in our private sessions outside. It seems unreal that A21 is never going to see another day in school again. The rain must be corresponding with what we feel in our hearts. It seems that this coming week is going to be a rainy week.

What's next for me? The adventure continues at least until I touch down in Malaysia. Am determined to come back again. This experience has been great to say the least. And I know I still need a lot more of Mandarin before its actually even good enough. Of course, there has been great improvements (although, YES YES...wo de fayin bu tai hao! aka My pronounciation is crap!) but its still a long depressing way to go. Meanwhile, I will be practising what I have learnt especially on my holidays.

Zai jian, "A21" ban. Zhu fu wo de peng you yong yuen kuai le, yong yuen ji li, yong yuen jian kang. Love you guys and gals.

My Brain Is FRIED!

2009-06-06T08:29:00.000-07:00

Yes, officially my brain is so FRIED!

After having crammed about 600 over words into my oh so tiny little brain (Wait! That doesn't sound too right...mmmm...), it feels as if it just is about to fizzle out and die. Ever wake up after an hours nap with just one lazy eye, and not being able to focus on anything? Well, yeah, must be brain signals getting mixed up with all the Hanzi. haha.

And why am I cramming again? Its all attributable to the semester ending (aih, its just too damn fast! Noooo! Just as I was really enjoying myself...) and exams consisting of "kou yi", "ting li" and "yu fa" coming up next week. Some stare at me blankly when I say that I am studying, "Why so serious about it?". Lets just say that I need to prove to the UN-Chinese in me that I can do it. Its obvious that China is such a powerhouse. Today, I found out from JP Morgan's website that Beijing has roughly a GDP of 6% which is currently the highest in the world. Especially when the rest of the world is in chaos; being US, Europe, and parts of Asia in recession. Mandarin is a must, if I want to progress in many things.

And since this year is a year that I promised to challenge myself, the struggle must go on. I am starting to like the life here, albeit the intimidating public toilets and the polluted city. Must be something about four season countries that get me all lovey dovey. Ok, not so much lovey dovey...haha..classmates would beg to differ. Everything is pretty convenient here, and modern too, again albeit the occasional public spitting that one would encounter.

This chapter of my life will end on my flight back to Malaysia in August. I ask myself, "Will I be coming back?". My conclusion:- Its highly possible. I might just extend my adventures on a whim. Afterall, there's still so much to learn and experience...it seems never ending. Yes, further brain damage that will be rendered too.

Its been tiring these days with a couple of things on my mind and one of my gf's from KL came down to visit us. Finally, my stress level has finally lifted in the past few days. Too much to do, too little time. 24 hours is not enough in my day. Maybe an additional 6 hours would be nice. =) Dream on, dream on! Anyways, just thought I did say "Hello, readers, am still alive out here in Beijing. Have so much to update, but damn the government on blocking blogspot. Its such a hassle. Its the reason why you don't see any pictures posted up."

Well, times up! Its time to start frying my brain further. My gf's "Mmmm-Huhs" are prompting me to press the publish button. haha. I still have so much to say about the past few weeks. Ah wells...until later!

Freedom of Expression

2009-05-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

My apolagies for not blogging for the past few days.

I thought that Blogspot was experiencing some downtime as I just couldn't reach the website. But, I finally realised that the Chinese government probably blocked it like what they did to Youtube. Yes, ladies and gentleman, apart from YouTube, they have also blocked all porn sites. Which is a good thing for the kids at home. *wink* But its starting to get really annoying, because I have to access the site by a proxy which does not allow me the full convenience of formatting, or attaching pictures, or reviewing my blog. I wonder when it will go back to normal. Or would it ever... Yes, the Chinese Government did a superb job with the public transportation especially in Beijing which probably thanks to the Olympics also made it easier for foreigners. BUT, this is getting ridiculous!!! Come on, its just blogging about opinions. Readers have minds too, let them think for themselves.

And what have I been doing for the past few days? Mainly resting from my Xian trip with 7 other coursemates. Those of us who took the train back arrived at 10:00am on Monday morning. Needless to say, we couldn't attend our classes on time. The more economic way of travelling was to sleep overnight in a 3 level hard bunker beds shared by many other people. There are of course pros and cons to it.

The pros were:-
(1) It was such a fun train ride with my mates squished on to the highest top two bunks playing big two, much to the horror of the people sleeping below. They must have been wondering if the each bunk could hold the three of us;
(2) Economical = RMB260 or 270 for hard bunkers;
(3) Its part of the China experience to rough it out like the locals.

The cons were:-
(1) Shared toilets which frankly was totally disgusting!!! Thank god for perfumed tissue!!!;
(2) The bunks probably could not fit bigger sized or taller people. I was just able to twist and turn sides. One of our mates had a good 1.5 ft of his legs sticking out at the end. Luckily he was sleeping on the second level;
(3) The fear of H1N1 virus running around. Not that it bothered me in the beginning. However, at the end of the trip at the Xian trainstation, the amount of people there were horrendously scary. I started to think that this couldn't be good for us.

Generally, it was a good train ride. I won't mind doing it again, especially being a "poor" student. It wasn't a problem sleeping on the train except for the dream that I had about dieing in my sleep if I did not wake up. Yes, morbid dreams at 6am. I wonder what that meant...

Overall, the Xian trip was a great one except for the fact that I kept on losing things everyday.

For example:-
Day 1: Lost my pen. (Ok, no biggie..I can still handle that!)
Day 2: Dropped RMB250 together with some Muslim Temple Brochures from my backpocket! (What!! I am on a budget trip. Ok, now I am starting to get annoyed. But I have to thank some mates of mine who actually went back with me to the place where I dropped it just to chance finding it again.)
Day 3: Lost my students card after Ping Ma Yue (Terracotta Soldiers). (Arrgh, now I am really annoyed. Because this meant that I would have to fork out more money without a student's price. And there usually is a 50% discount for students).
Day 4: Lost my lenscleaner on Hua Shan. (Gees...what else could go wrong! And as I just thought that I got through the day without losing anything...I had purposely bought the lenscleaner for my trip in China.)
Day 5: ONLY DAY THAT I DIDN'T LOSE SOMETHING!

Wo zhen de mei you jili! But at least it was a fun trip, the best being Hua Shan!!! Will blog about it in my next post. For now, GOODNIGHT, WORLD...or is it, GOOD MORNING!

P/S: This is the 2nd time that I am writing this postup due to this proxy inconvenience resulting in an unsaved draft. Arrggghh.