Musings of a road-runner

From Auroville to Auroville...a racing sabbatical...

2011-11-12T16:46:00.001+06:00

The last time, I ran past a racing flag, was in Auroville- Feb 13th this year. I ran a half. 2010-11 represented stability - I could plan a trip and execute it. During this period I ran 5 half marathons.

From April aka the 2011-12 season, I have been this ship in the tempestous sea, with a broken sail. My quest for growth led me to Mumbai. Mumbai is a great place to run, there are more than 15 local races - and to cap it all, the Mumbai Marathon, the only Indian event on the World Marathon Calendar.

My appetite to run a race simply died. It has taken a long sabbatical.    Why? Lack of planning.   I cannot get up at 5 am any more - that is the time I feel most tired. The alarm snooze button has become the most regularly used device, apart from my blackberry and toothbrush.   My shoes started unusual about it and finally gave up on me. Both my pairs of Nikes tanked.

The distances to travel to meet customers are too much in Mumbai. So you end up reaching home late, and tired. The motivation to put on the shoe is difficult.   Add to that, the kid wants this, and the wife wants that.   The evening sundowners add to the woe.   Finally, the virus found a temporary home in my bronchi.   Alas,   I run only about 20 km a week, and about 60 km a month.   I am not my type.

I need to run a half during training, and then do regular 30's. My plan is to run only full's next season.   No races this year.   Well - may be I will end my racing sabbitical in Auroville?!!!

-The One

Pic courtesy Auroville website

Ask the Toenail...

2011-11-08T00:16:00.001+06:00

Well, it is late into the night, and have a short week ahead. But can't resist finishing this.

Got a black toe after today's 10K.  Reason - my Asics, as I find, is one size less. My Nikes were one size large, and were bliss- no black toes.

Ain't the shoes mistake. Well, it is mine. A black toenail can tell stories.

I lost three of my toe nails when I started running about three years ago.   First reaction, pain and panic.

Most people ( including me :) ) don't bother about their feet, till the first black toenail appears. Feet are to walk, but when they are used to run - black toenails are almost always the first incident. It is like the first dent in your new car.   Your feet were looking beautiful, and suddenly running spoilt the looks.

You consult your seniors in running - they laugh it off. Well, I get it. For a runner, feet is utility material and not the jewels in the box. They are to be used - to RUN! Blacktoes are sign of USE. SCARS of the RUN. I was proud - after losing three black toes, and collected them as medallions.

Once you become more experienced, you understand the fundamentals or Common Sense, as they call it.

WEAR happens because of FRICTION. To reduce friction, either reduce contact or lubricate. So, you buy one size larger shoes, and take care to apply vaseline. Result - no black toe.

When beginners talk to me about chafing or black toes, I tell them it aint a medallion, but it is plain wear and tear. Reduce contact or lubricate.

My black toe laughs at me.

Says, I will wither away. Where was your COMMON SENSE?

I say, you are my fourth medallion. Each run is new, and a learning. So I hide behind the beginner's bliss.

COMMON SENSE - Not applicable... Toe Nail - RIP...

-THE ONE

Pictures Courtesy Internet

A Bakri-Eid 10k- One step at a time...

2011-11-07T23:16:00.002+06:00

More liters in the belly than the kilometers on the road. Life is listless when it lacks purpose.

Movies? Facebook? Shopping with family? The only thing exciting is playing cricket with the kid these days. Others are miserly distractions.

Add a 30 day back-breaking cough and lung-choking cold... hit by financial and work related challenges...

From boring to suffering...

Sometimes the objective is to just sail through the storm... one needs lot of grit and gumption to dig deep down to win the battle, ride the wave.   One after another.   Take it one at a time.   We don't know when the war would end, or when the shore is in sight.

Hey, this sounds very familiar - if you are a long distance runner. A step at a time. Break the course into shorter objectives. Achieve one, and then another, and then another. Each step, relentlessly put ahead, is closer to victory. The finish line is far away, but the hope is that each step puts one closer to the finishing line.

The run becomes more challenging when you are denied.   Like today's Bakri-Eid's run.

High humidity.   I decided to do a 10K - not a long distance by most of our standards, but well - considering this is a comeback phase after the bout of cold, was a reasonable objective.

The denial objective - no water, and no stop.   Well, the run was lot easier.   Strategy - run slow first, pick up speed - but always breath through the nose. The first 5k was whirlwind - done in 32 minutes. Around the 7k point, had to slow a bit and breath through my nose.

Reminder - No stop. No water. Around 8k - sweat started tasting sweet,  slight cramp developed below the ribs.

Breath deep, run slow.

Around the 8.5k mark, felt easy - but had slow down to almost 10 minutes per km.

Easy, buddy?   Nope.   Can you? Yes.

No water. No stop.   Uphill finish for about 800m.   Voila, suddenly breathing was easy,   no more thinking of water, only the finish line.  Finished the last 1k in 5:50.  10k in 67 minutes.

Finally the first sip of water is the reward.    Neither it is great, nor is that bad.

What is special about a training run?   Nothing. Just that it reminds you of the basics.

One step at a time.

- The One

Pictures courtesy Internet

Ship breaking screws running...

2011-10-31T18:20:00.000+06:00

About 15 days ago, I had some sneeze.. A little bit of throat congestion... then a small pricking in my throat - I know, I was on my way to a season change phenomenon - allergic bronchi.

I have had allergic bronchi since when I was kid.   It stopped for the last 6-7 years, when I had a car, and also when I used to run.   Key factor was the allergy did not appear - it did not matter when I ran or where. I somehow, attributed the allergen silence to my car.

Last one month, has been trouble - the allergens are awake and active. One afternoon, I was sleeping through a cab ride - through Mazagon dock.   I woke up in some dust and sweat, the cabbie said'this is a shorter way'... I look out of the cab window - it was a SHIP BREAKING YARD...

That psyched me out, and all those visions of the leukemia and allergic diseases arose in my mind. The place was deserted and dusty... I could feel the allergens - my nemesis waking up... 'dude, here am I'... and one thing to another, and occupied my breathing canal.

Blong - there went my running. I tried all medicine I could lay hands on, some vapor inhalation, some herbal stuff. Finally visited a doc, was slapped a prescription of a heavy dose anti-biotic and was walking around as a zombie all of last weekend.

So, I was waddling in the bed and the couch, and my shoes in the dark recesses of my shoe-rack. I did not even bother to look at them in their eye (!).

Feeling better, feeling better... my wife advises to take it slow... fearing another bout of wheeze and cough... I am itching to run... but actually would during the coming weekend.

Whoever thought that Ship Breaking will screw running...?

Doc Holliday - Part 2 - Life is a game, play it!

2011-08-23T20:54:00.005+06:00

Doc Holliday - The name gives a feeling of work and play. For a short 36 year longlife, it was a quite an eventful journey.

Doc Holliday, Original

A doctor by profession, Doc tried his hand in practice. Hitch - he was suffering from a perennial liver and lung infection - mostly by tubercolosis. Treatment didn't fly, and he practically carried the disease to his grave. His patients would turn away quickly, not being able to cope with his perennial cough.

For a person full of life, Doc did not give up. He took to gambling. He was reasonably good at it. Still the good name 'Doc' stuck for life.

He was born with a cleft lip and cleft brow - both on the right side, and they say, it made him only more handsome. But he cared less for his looks - but he dressed well.

He was a good gun-shot- probably the best in the Wild Western during that period. A constantly edgy feeling seemed to have come into his life, as he grew up it become worse, with his disease eating him inside out.

In each of his encounters ( as illustrated in Tombstone - the movie and the wealth of data available on Internet), this edgy feeling seemed to have pushed him for a quick-draw-shoot or die solution to all arguments or meeting with his adversaries; He always succeeded because of his natural ability of being the quickest draw.

This temperamental talent became the friend of the Law Dog Wyatt Earp, who was considered a perfect foil - older, mature and polished to Doc Holliday. As his friend-for-life, Wyatt seemed to bring the best out of Doc, and it also served him the '30 minute gun fight of OK Corral' and the historic duel with the best shot among the Cowboys- Johnny Ringo.

He personified confidence, that bordered arrogance. When Johnny Ringo meets him in a bar - he says '"All I want of you is ten paces out in the street.". The movie shows the encounter in a different circumstance - the dialogue below is self explanatory.

Ringo: You must be Doc Holliday.
Doc : That's the rumor.
Ringo: You retired too?
Doc : Not me.I'm in my prime.

A clear illustration of Doc's cockiness facing his much-reputed adversary.

Alcohol was his constant companion, and he was with one woman through his life - big nose Kate. But this seems to have been more of a functional relationship than a relationship of the heart.

When he sees Wyatt one last time, he says ' he loved a girl when he was young, and when she got away, he carried his memories for life - and advises Wyatt - ' My friend, there is no 'normal life', just life. Live it. Grab the moment, and marry that actress you want to live with'.

Finally, when he becomes too sick, he dies in his bed- after 36 years of zestful life.

By that time, he had become one of the most enduring characters of the Wild Western Folklore - a gambler, a hot headed hunk, a gunshot-par-excellence, Earp's best friend and the hero of the 'greatest gunfight' of the Wild West. For Doc Holliday - life was a gamble, and he played it!

-The One

Next - Doc Holliday -3 - 'Wyatt Earp is my friend, I dont have many'

Source - Tombstone, the movie, and Wickipedia on Doc Holliday.

Doc Holliday - Part 1...

2011-08-20T20:06:00.000+06:00

This is one blog, I have very less to say - but want to say more.

The usual events late evening - entry into house at 9, dinner with wife and kid. Channel surf, vacating the news turf - watching India being 'anna'hiliated within and annihiliated out on the ground - and the cursory glance at the movie titles for the 11 pm slot.

Tombstone - Zee studio... ahem.. an inconspicuous stay... 5 seconds - more and more... saw Kurt Russell, but stayed more for Val Kilmer.

I did not know then that I was watching a legendary event of the wild western. Earps vs the Cowboys... Wyatt Earp - the Law Dog and Doc Holliday - the dying gunslinger... the most proficient of them all...

Consumed by tubercolosis, but not letting the spirit of death consume him... standing by his friend, holding his own against a calmer Wyatt Earp, and nixing the sharpest gunshot of his time Johnny Ringo is a character that the reader should enjoy.

The way the movie panned out - is for every one to watch. I intend to write more about Doc Holliday, the more I read about him, the more interesting his character becomes.

Val Kilmer's rendition as the dying, hot blooded, risk taking, talented gun slinging and gambling role of Doc is one of his best ever performances - I liked his 'Templar - Saint among of Thieves' as well.

Some links for the readers interest - Favorite Scenes of Doc Holliday in Tombstone - 1; Youtube - 13 part series of Tombstone...

A meagre collection of the dialogues of Wyatt Earp ( Kurt Russell) and Doc Holliday ( Val Kilmer) , in no necessary order. I will share the savoring moments - in the next few days...

Tell 'em I'm comin' and Hells comin' with me...

It appears that Mr. Ringo is an educated man, now I really hate him. Doc

Why Johnny Tyler, mad cap, where ya goin' with that shot gun?

stick wid me il make ya famous

i havnt even begun to defile myself

Wyatt, I am rolling!!

Billy: You are so drunk yo're seeing double! Doc: Well i got one gun each for both of ya

Doc!? I didn't know you was back in town.

Wyatt-' doc why or what drives ringos anger'.Doc' he's mad at life for being born'

"you aint a daisy! you aint a daisy at all!"

poker just aint your game! i know. lets have a spelling contest

i told u keep that damn cigar outta my face!!!!

"Why Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked across your grave"

"I already got a guilty conscience...I might as well have the money too."

ENJOY THE MOVIE, while I am back in the town...

-The One...

A distant canary...

2011-08-18T11:10:00.000+06:00

One day, near the window sill of my bedroom, I saw this yellow canary chirping tentatively. A small young one, seemed to be lost. I opened the window, and it flew in. It build a nice little nest - warm and cozy, against the winter rains and cool during the summer.

Everyday, it would chirp, bringing hope to a routine human life - joy of freedom, wantonly ecstatic, bundle of vivaciousness. It become part of my life- small, but significant.

One morning, it had flown out of the open window as usual. It did not come back ever again. One week later, the empty nest remained, at that. The nest remained as long as I was there.

I moved out of this city and the nest, mostly removed, by the new occupiers of my older abode.

Then while ago, I watched this movie - The Canary ( 2010)...a story of an emotional roller coaster of an young, deaf girl living in the Scottish wilderness shaken by the arrival of an unexpected stranger...a small blip appeared on my rear view mirror- of the yellow and black canary and the nest.

One of my friends, a colleague - lives in this desert city - now consumed by cement and its wilderness replaced by urban chaos, sent me a photograph of his pet, almost incidentally at the same time.

He is moving back to pursue his passion in photography - will fly past me to the Indian capital for a brief while. He said he intends to give up his pet - donate it to a bird park in this desert-city before he leaves. Another story of a canary becoming distant...

So,thinking as I drive, down another bend of the road, the rear view mirror throws up a different scene, and the canary becomes a distant view - smaller as ever. May be I will see the canary again... on my window sill..

The curious case of Arowana... ' the blackfish is missing'

2011-08-15T16:52:00.000+06:00

Life is a rat race these days... 730 - hit the dirt, 2200 back at home. Most of it goes in travel. Can't remember much so different between each of these days.

One of these mornings, last week, my friend and I landed up in a small restaurant. An aquarium tank - was usual. Fish inside it -was usual. Arowana - now that was unusual.

Arowana are bony fish found in the tropics. Look deadly, that people sell it as the evil-eye fish, vaasthu fish. Guys are fierce ones, adults are 2-3 feet long, so only one fits in a medium size aquarium. Some of the smaller fish could co-exist, but Arowana decides the fate.

On that morning, cutting chai and a small vada- pav was consumed at leisurely pace, watching the Arowana swim around. He swam contented, but we always felt something was about to happen. There were couple of fish - one, a type of frog fish, and another black - angel fish types, can't place it.

The frog fish, clutching the sand below, lied low, and the black fish could not swim freely - whenever the Arowana turned in its direction, this guy ducked to hide - under the air feeder or dove to depth.

Suddenly, in one turn, the Arowana spewed a few fins out - remnants of a digested fish, perhaps. We asked the hotel employee - he said that there were about 20 live fish in its tank, three mornings ago.

'Arowana ate only live fish' he said. 'The black-fish was the last of the lot. The frog fish was from an earlier group, but still has managed to survive.'

We were, somewhere inside, shaken. My friend, too confirmed that. Did not have a good feeling. We went after our morning office chores.

About 2 pm, I had lunch and started to work on something else. Arowana, blackfish all forgotten. Then a short-text popped in my blackberry- from my friend, saying 'the blackfish is missing'. I could not recollect, and responded later ' what the heck are you talking about'; he messaged me back - ' the aquarium'.

The same chill, we had felt in the morning, returned. I was silent. Thinking more about it, I felt that the situation threw up life in its different perspectives.

The hotelier - probably fed live fish to Arowana - and more than, kept that fish - more to get some customers, than to ward off evil. Making life by taking lives? Or was it making business sense?

The customer - comes and returns again to watch the fun - feeding the crass curiosity of the prey-predator duel?

The Arowana - becomes a show, while living its natural life and character? Wrong place?

The black-fish - did it have better chances of survival in an ocean than it had to lead a life of fear and struggle to die?

The frog-fish - still clutching the floor, lying low - escaping the eyes of Arowana... he survived beyond the Arowana's lunch...

Who is right and who is wrong? What is right and what is wrong? Or is it the way life is? Well... life goes on... the Arowana still swims, the frog-fish is still on the floor, the customers come, the hoteliers make the money, but the blackfish is missing!!!

Corruption- our bit...

2011-04-09T14:18:00.001+06:00

Corruption - our bit ...

by Ashok Subramanian on Saturday, April 9, 2011 at 1:39pm

A small spark started by Anna Hazare becomes a thousand... thousands become thousand small actions... when these actions become consistent- a way of life. This way of life becomes a culture...a culture against corruption.

Three things that you can do from now:

1. Vote and vote for a corrupt free and criminal free representation in the assembly and parliament. This is where you can cut the umbilical cord of corruption.

2. Think hard before you participate in the next opportunity to be corrupt - be individually. Deny that other person of that opportunity. Be patient and dont jump queues.
The last time, when I was stopped by a cop, I paid 1500 for multiple traffic offenses, and got a receipt. I had an alternate way - pay 200 Rs as a cut and get away. I DID NOT. I did feel about needing to pay more, but I am now proud about that action today.

3. Teach your kids to obey rules - beating the rules, beating the system creates opportunities for paying the cut- starting from carrying papers, following traffic rules... deny that traffic cop an opportunity to make money.
More can be told, but these are simple but difficult things that can be followed. I do have flaws, but as they say, a small spark...

Crabs and Cricket...

2011-04-02T12:35:00.000+06:00

Somebody told me that we, Indians, have crab mentality.   Crabs, if left in a bucket, pull another down, when one tries to climb out of the bucket.

As a community we feel guilty about being passionate about anything.   We are too self critical.   Why cant we just let our emotions and belief go the full distance?

Like some countries like football, we like cricket. We have a history, and so be it! After all, we are passionate people about sports... let us not be defensive about it!

People say cricket is a lazy support. Well, try playing a 5 day match - you will realize that this is tougher than an ultra marathon.   That is 35 hours of baking in the sun!   If you take half of it- for one team - 17 hours of standing idle, then running, thinking, hitting, being hit, diving etc., make the sport even tougher to play.

Imagine sprinting behind a ball or running in short burst in those 22 yards! With all those protective gear ! With heightened competition, one has to sprint and dive to save runs and take catches.

Imagine being nerve-wrecked for almost 7 hours in an one-day international, or for 3 hours for a twenty-20.
To excel in one subject, they say is specialization.    After the 2007 world cup debacle, this team has become worked hard and smart, to become No 1 in tests, won away-victories, defended at home successfully, won the Twenty-20 world cup, and is the finals of the ODI world cup again. This is a phenomenal achievement of a specialization - of a generation that has feared nothing, but enjoys the sport it plays.

As a nation, we should be proud of it. We have reached the near-summit, the glory is in the wings! This calls for celebration - the spirits shall flow!

But for those nay-sayers, if -of all people, Indians dont wish for India's victory, who else will!!! We believe that Dhoni, Tendi and co are as committed as any other sportsperson.

Our wishes and prayers for the Indian cricket team! Nothing else matters! We want them give 100% and we BELIEVE them!!! Go-India-Go!!!

At the cross roads...

2011-03-17T13:39:00.000+06:00

I read in a calendar today ' If you cant run ahead of someone, run in a different direction'. Well, it kind of means what I am going through these days.   That someone sometimes is myself.

At the cross roads, looking for a new direction, I scan the horizon for answers. The decision to take a road will have implications of the new and far future.

When one looks back at the cross roads he/she has crossed and the directions have been taken, a realization sometimes a twinge of guilt, and a can-I-bring-that-decision-back or If-I-were-to-decide-again-can-I-change feeling happens - a lump in our throat, and a deep sigh follows.

From my school days to where I am now, my journey has taken twists and turns that I have not entirely expected.   To the chance to board a plane to US vs to manage a project in the North-East in 1998, or to settle in South-East Asia vs back to Chennai in 2005, the decisions on job roles or the places to live have had a 'comfort' factor established at that point in time.

I sometimes feel that I should have decided otherwise. As more years pass, and the journey of life covers more miles, the child in me-the one who wishes to explore and advent different peoples, places, cuisine and culture is becoming more forceful than mellowing down to adulthood.

My significant other may feel that this man is crazy, but one realizes the beauty of the journey called life through experience. So, why not explore, till one can.   Run the unexplored roads, visit new places.

Here is the tougher part - but I will answer first before I throw the question.

A 55 year old runner took his 87-old father to run an iron-man. His father said ' son, for you, I will'. Both completed.   The passers-by and the onlookers applauded for hours with tears in their eyes.   Why?

The father was a quadriplegic and had to have neck support and was in a wheel chair. The son took his father in a life raft for the swimming part, then on a specially designed cycle for the cycling bit and a wheel chair for the marathon.

Sometimes goals, challenges are very personal.   If your near and dear realize the dream that you see and the direction you take, when you are at the cross roads - they will definitely run along, won't they?

At the starting line of life again - 2009...

2011-02-27T11:36:00.000+06:00

Well, I discovered few things in this one year.  And oh boy, what a journey it has been in the last 18 months.

Some background before what changed my life.

I had thrown my entire weight around my job and career.   I am not a natually aggressive person.

But since 2002, when I made my move from being an engineer to sales and pre-sales, thought I would really leverage on my three assets - a flair for quick learning and understanding, ability to connect with people, and the gift of the gab, to be successful.

Since 2002 till 2009, I had given everything, I mean, everything to the work I performed at office. I admit, I liked fancy titles, travelling, and meeting people.   The journey was exciting, and heady- the higher I went, the more intoxicated I became.

What suffered - my fitness, my focus on personal finance and family.

I will touch upon each of these in separate detail in subsequent blogs.   But net-net, it was something I discovered when my all-or-nothing approach in Jan-March quarter of 2009, succeeded partially and inevitably, as I realized in hindset, there were fallouts.

Numbers done, but behind me were burnt bridges, heavy heart.   I sunk within the immense feelings of despair and loneliness. Victory was forgotten, only bitter taste remained.

In toto, the fallout meant that I had to restart again.   New role, new outlook.  In 2009, at 34 years, I was born - again.

Few things I realized, I would correct forever -

Never take a business decision alone. Remember, you are working for others, when you are in a job. There exists a larger organization. You have to take that organization along.
Never trust verbal approvals, take them in writing. Sometimes, they become legal material.
Over aggression in sales leads to overzealous commitments - you think you are right at the moment, but that is a castle in air. Build deals with strong business fundamentals. What organizations need are health business, not quick deals.
All-or-nothing is like a sprint. If you win, it is great and heady; if you lose, it can sink you. It is better to run a slow marathon, and finish.
Learn to accept failure. Success at all costs is not worth it. Be practical.
Life is much more than work. Life, like business has multiple pillars. Each of these pillar has to be built strongly. Otherwise, it will be a one-trick pony.
Sometimes, you think that you can always count on your boss, but it is always better to have a larger organization into confidence.
It is good to have Plan B's. It goes back to the adage ' dont put all eggs in one basket'.
Personal finance, fitness and family, the three 'F's are the other pillars of life. Focus in equality.
Give it back to your team - spend time with them apart from discussing business affairs. Build friendships.Your experience and perspective, without sounding as advice, is a key input their decisions.

These realizations, and a few other threads, led me to my midlife birth again.

I needed to connect back to people - outside work. For example, I could not connect with a person outside work when I visit a city.
I needed my great family back; they had been waiting for the last 7 years. I gave family 'time windows', but did not realize that I became an outsider, a paying guest at my won house.
After all my focus on career, it was sad to note that my personal investments were next to nothing; and I was chasing credit card bills. I still do, but have improved in the last two years.

Wow, wow... that is a lot of time to be lost in life. Never can it be gained back. But the realization was hard earned. Could not lose it, never. So, two steps. Self- pardon and plan.

Connect the dots. Make the list. Dwelve into the details. Make the beginning, the first step. The journey starts. I am born again. At 34, after so many years, another Ashok is born.

Fitness - start doing things you like. Be fit. Stress free. Do something with passion, vengeance. Need a sink to empty emotions. So was born, RUNNING.
Finance - Save, Invest, Track. Plan your retirement, and child's future - education! Invest your life to work for 20 years. Quit at 55. Be happy with this plan. More you need, it becomes greed.
Family - Spend time, explore, argue, play - enjoy time.

I called this 20 year plan as 35-55. There could be additions, reviews, changes, but the base of the rest of my life is now planned.

Now, a few other points -

I always liked chat and blogs - the 90's tools for people to communicate over the Internet. This last one year, after a long break since 2008, I entered the world of Internet. Socially active, if that is what it is on FACEBOOK.
I took to sporadic running since 2008, and it is 3 years now. But during the last one year, have run more than my entire life, and felt fit and confident. Now belong to 900 or lesser crowd in a population of 6 million, called CHENNAI RUNNERS.
Also was born my social work-out relationships through DAILYMILE.
Taking my family along during my fitness journey is also key.
My tummy has been popping after lot of culinary and spirited endeavors; now guy prefers less spicy and craves for a flater disposition than it was.
Planning of finance, have completed for my kid's edu plan and retirement, has been completed. Still trailing on few counts, but should close all outstandings this year.
Holidays - holidays - spend time with family , twice a year. More time with parents.

Well, this is a journey, and it has began. Here was a starting line to run the marathon called the 'rest of my life. 'As I look back, as I keep running, it is the most cherished part of my life - post my childhood and college years.

I have discovered passion and purpose in my life. It can go only positive from here... and therefore I continue to run.

Runner - Aham Aasmi

2010-11-29T22:09:00.000+06:00

Can we say - I exist - Aham Aasmi - is egocentric? Or it is a fact?

Because I exist, the world exists
If I cease to exist, the world ceases to exist.
The world is a window of consciousness in a journey called life...
All that exists within that window- material,events,relationships
Since I chose to be in a business, I need a customer
there is a road, because I chose to run...
since I chose to breathe, there is oxygen...
Before the window closes - permanently.
Everything around me has a purpose to me

I cant change my past, I cant predict my future,
So I exist, here and now ...
I can create my life, this I can surely do

that is a road called my life! and I will run!

Tendai monks...

2010-10-17T16:16:00.000+06:00

My brother gave a quick run down on what endurance is.   Should people really endure pain to reach the 'higher pleasures' - beyond material and carnal aspects of life!    Well, worth thinking about, if not exploring.

These monks - over a period of 10 years will have to run 50+ k's for 100 consecutive days every year, wearing sandals or mostly on bare feet, on unmarked routes, with no apparent help, in tough weather and inconsistent terrains and pray in about 250 temple. At one point, they have to go without food for 7 days, and should not swallow their spit! Further more during the last year, they run about 84 km everyday for 100 days!   The entire regimen is time bound.

They are trained to rest parts of their body, and a 10 min rest for the monk is more than 5 hours of rest. This article is public.   Only 46 monks have survived the 1000 day ordeal. Very niche species indeed...

People like me are at the other end of the spectrum.   We are consumed by the chores of daily life, and do little that shall take us to the 'next level'. Except when we put our feet on the street, especially sneak runs.

We dont have planned regimens like the Tendai monks, which take them away from materialism. But within the limits of this material world, we try to attain some salvation through hobbies like running.   The effort slowly becomes a reason for existence ( ref blog http://runashokrun.blogspot.com/2010/10/runaholic.html).

Finding a reason to run itself shows the endurance of this passion - which also looks for like minded people.   Here too, we dont have a choice of the place, weather and time we run; we do it because we want to do.   So it is still materialistic, in a sense, is it not?

For the tendai monks and the likes, running becomes a daily chore, whereas it is a passion for the otherwise mundane like us.

So endurance to achieve something is inevitable - be it the tendai monks or mere mortals like us!

Runaholic!!!

2010-10-17T12:47:00.000+06:00

Late August, I realized that running has become an addiction to me. Declared state of addiction, that too.

It is in my bones...'mileage', the 'k's', 'stretches', 'LSD" have all become part of my routine vocabulary.   That is the behavioral part.

The most important thing is the core inner feeling.   Rich daddy says ' the amount of days that you spend without working, is the measure of your richness'. The more you are away from your love, the more you want to get back at it.   It did not last 2 days for me... sleepless nights, restless mind and could not tolerate.   I burn guilt through hot deep sighs.   Unbearable it has become.

The twins kept beckoning...my feet. My eyes roll, mind races, heart beats and lungs suck in air faster, faster, faster...I pulsate and pulpitate.

And, I do the act - feet into the shoes, laces tied.    Running dress on! Sports band on!   Feel much better.
Then the first steps and I go!   Deep inside me, a child screams, tumbles, leaps in joy... now I EXIST! I found a purpose to live for one more DAY!!!

I breathe better, think better, am happier when I run or plan to.  It is the pillar of my everyday existence now.   Else, like a lost child, I dont know what to do... I dont know, how I became like this.   But now, I have become a RUNAHOLIC!!!

My first half marathon - part 4- the final 10k and the finish

2010-09-20T19:09:00.000+06:00

( continued from part 3)

'Oh! Oh! the route was familiar, I had run this before' I thought.   The 12th km was the easiest one.   My bro held the backpack for a while.

Suddenly, I dont know from where, a wave of exhaustion swept me.   The backpack suddenly became heavier, and heavier and heavier... my shoulder slumped, pace dropped to near-walk speed.   Everybody was overtaking me - runners who found new energy and eager youngsters.

I took a walk break - a rather long one.   Rajesh, Akila and KK had moved about half a km ahead of me. 'Will do this slow, but sure'- I said to myself.   It become a walk and jog routine - till I reached the Adyar bridge and then it became a walk ( 16k).   My team were snapping away photographs - but too drained to catch up.   I was exhausted, but not out. If only I could handover my backpack, I thought.

As they say - when you are in trouble, dont give up hope.   My hope was answered. An angel appeared - we call him SLMP or Shankar. One of the better runners in our group, Shankar was more keen to create a photo-document of this largest ever CR gathering till date. So he was happy-snapping at everybody and hence running lot slower. At the 16k mark, he reached me; and reached out to me and made an offer that I could not refuse.   Time: 2:17.

'Handover the backpack' and ' run this like a 5k, and finish strongly' he said.   So happy I was, I relieved the backpack off me, and then said a small thanks and ran.   I caught up with my brother and Akila.   KK had some cramps at 17k, and Rajesh was also slightly tired. But Akila was going strong.

Water points were depleted of water - only wasted 500 ml bottles lying around.    The stalls had wound up; there was lot of jay walkers. Everybody seemed to think that the race was over.

Around the 19k mark, Rajesh did a small reverse run to trace KK, who had fallen behind; Akila was off like an arrow out of the bow - fast. She found a faster companion who accompanied her till the finish.

Rajesh and I had given up on time, and intent to finish; did a run-walk-run , counting the number of poles as we ran along the Beach road;   the distance seemed to grow, and the last mile the longest.   Students, cops, by-standers were cheering.   The sun was behind the clouds, but humidity was not that kind enough.   Exhaustion poured in, but the finish was now in sight.

About 25m from the finish line, my calf muscles pulled, and I started limping. Rajesh pushed me along, and there, there - I crossed the finish line along side Rajesh. My first HALF Marathon. In 2:54...!!!

We all were exhausted. The better runners had a good finish, and had a happy-snappy photograph session.   I joined them for couple of photographs.

Everybody had medals, so I pushed my way into the crowd, argued, fought with the organizers and finally got one.   The political drama was going on in the stage - everybody praising the other, how great the high and mighty are...

What the heck - I had my first half marathon under the belt, and a medal too!!!

PS - this marathon series is dedicated to two special people - My brother Rajesh and Shankar Lal Patel , without who the finish line would have been there for sometime more to be conquered!!!

My first half marathon - part 3 ; the race - first 10k...

2010-09-20T18:24:00.000+06:00

(continued from part 2)

The bugle blew. The CR elites started in the front; there were other groups including few social advocacy groups for better life, against discrimation etc.,   There were people of all types - old and young, men and women.

We brought the rear of the pack.   Rajesh, Akila, VT, KK and myself were running together - for the first time.   The comfort for me was that I was with better runners;   The ambulance and the cop vans followed. We felt like some royal road party being escorted;   Some students and passers-by cheered us to run faster.

Personally I had a bag with couple of bananas, gatorade sachets, and about 6 caps that were stuffed during the start by some over-eager distributors of one of the sponsors.   I was wearing goggles and cap when I started the run.

The other groups picked up speed, but as we thought - we ran at a slow pace.   Post Santhome church ( around 2.5k), the escorts decided to ahead, as we were oscillating at near-walk pace and jogging ( about 8 min/h)

All this time, there was a promise of rain as clouds covered the eastern skies.   With such positive promise, around the 4th km, we tried to accelarate a bit.   We were doing 7.2 km/h. Into the 5th km, we had reached the Adyar park; the back-pack started weighing me down.   With no visible solution around, I took my cap and goggles off, and started running.

Once in a while, along the Adyar bridge and the service lane leading to the Besant Nagar Avenue, Akila + Rajesh would over take me, and I would play catch up in turns.   VT had dropped off, and KK had gone ahead.

Here we saw the return party - some barefooted champs, a shirtless Westerner, some people who have to win to earn the prize money for the return trip coming back. It was then 7k for us and 14k for them... then we saw the first bunch of CR's - Anand, Senthil et al.

Slowly, around the 8k mark, we found ourselves sticking at 7 min/h speed; then a clutch of Chennai runner elites and other runners waved us on our way back. By this time, the backpack was becoming heavier and heavier and I slowed down to 7.5 min/h mark.

The water points were excellently operated; too sad to see that runners, including me, could only could take few sips out of the 500 ml bottle and throw it off - lest it should become a baggage.

We could see some early morning walkers and sleepy-eyed bystanders looking like ' what the hell is going on'.    The roads were free, and the overzealous cops kept the jaywalkers off with exhortations and stick-waving.   The sky had opened up, and humidity was increasing.

Rajesh and Akila started moving ahead; I ran at a slower pace.   Few people had started walking, and I was passing them.   That was a good motivation.

Around the 11k mark (along the Elliott's beach), I saw another clutch of chennai runners - lot of cheering from them at the round about point;  I could also catch up with Rajesh and Akila.   There was a 200 m walk break.   Till this point, things had gone well.   The weather, the organization, running conditions, and my internal self were going fine.

10 k - 1.12 min at 7.2 min/h; Was feeling slightly exhausted, but Ok; Half of half done, half to go...should be easy, or so I thought. As they say, surprises are always round the corner...

( to be continued)

My First HM- part 2, the road to the race...

2010-08-30T18:53:00.000+06:00

Day before: August 28th, 2010

That Saturday, had to mentally be prepared after the shuttle-travels of the week.   Also had errands to run.   Little sleep, as reached only late Friday night.

Already, the chatter on the 'google groups' channel was going on. Logistics, car pooling, assembly points, bib numbers, decisions to run et al.. flooded the channel. And more...

Also during the first half, was debating whether to run or not - as we had our Mom's cataract operation scheduled at 10:30 am on race day.

Errands were run in the first half and post lunch - THE ACTUAL DECISION TO RUN WAS MADE. I took my registration form printed out in a Internet Cafe.

On the way, called and pushed my half-hearted brother to run for company. He is my initiator into running ( Ref - Baptised in Bangalore !!! my first 10k ...).   So together we went to pick up the bib.

It was Presidency college ( or not sure). The crowd was less, but chaotic. At the entrance, T-shirts were on sale. Little further, a set of girls and boys were standing and looked busy. My brother got his registration done- Rs 100.

For me, on inquiry, we were sent to another set of girls, one of who took a glance at the form, and then gave another to full - it was self declaration of my medical history.

Met Anand ( who would turn out to be the fastest Chennai runner in this marathon), Senthil, KP Suresh and friends and Vilva at various stages.

Step 1: Height and Weight - my height was higher, and weight was same.   The doc made a wrong entry( he added 10kg by mistake) and with a laughter, corrected it when I pointed out.   Looked like the doc- testers were from some med college, wet behind the ears.

Step 2: Another group with Steth's asked questions about my experience about running - like ' how long have you been running?'. Next second, a stamp saying FIT was put on the med-sheet. I understood that was a ECG/ Cardio test!!!

Once outside, bought a Marg T-shirt for 100 bucks. The blokes did not have the desired color for my size. Anyways, the cotton outfit would be reduced to my kid's size after a wash. So we moved on.

That night, got a facebook entry from Sudha with the laundry list of gadgets for prep. Chennai runners T-shirt, a matching blue shorts, and my newer of the two pairs of my running shoes- Red !! Went by my wife's suggestion, as it would look good and bright !!! So, I went by that list -except for the headband, but added vaseline and gatorade, into my backpack.

And logistically, I was to pickup Sudha at 430, Akila and VT at 5:00, and bro at 5:05 on the race day morning. Wondered if I should put a ' TRANSPORTER' sticker to my car - waggy would have liked it.

That night, I dreamed of finishing-the tape at the finishing point, with lot of people cheering and the waves from the east, agreeing to the people's wish.   This dream came at least 4 times, if I can recall.   And so I went to sleep.

Raceday awaited on the other side.

Race day: August 29, 2010 - Morning :

Was up by 345. The alarm was tuned to 400, but somehow was widely awake earlier. Butterflies in the dawn: Location- my stomach. After the ablutions, was preparing the backpack when all of my passengers called / texted me. I was out by 420 - outside the sky was dark, no moon and the air was filled with humidity.

Sudha was geared up, and seemed fresh and fit.   Akila and VT, her husband walked right out of the bed, and after 10 minutes of wait, we proceeded to pick up Rajesh- my bro.   Rajesh was sitting in front of his portigo, and dressed to run. I know his mental makeup- and I could tell he was going to finish easy.

About couple of us wanted coffee, and we discussed about some restaurants.   We went across the war memorial, the last year's starting point, and finally parked our car in Island Grounds.   Once out of the car, we checked the eastern sky. A couple of drops fell, confirming that the sky would have some cloud cover at least till the start.

Sudha complained of a minor niggle in her leg.   I said ' pain is mental' and she challenged me.

Met with some official friends, and Chennai runners - who were all pepped up and prepared. We missed out on the parking lot group photos. On the way to the start point, we found about 100 soldiers, with their rifles across their shoulders running for practice. We waved at them. The coffee was quickly forgotten.

Once the starting point was visible, we were asked to show our bibs by over-eager cops, and asked if we were running 7k or 21k. Anyways, the checks were only superficial, as VT and Akila, without bibs passed at least 3 of the check points.

We could hear the loud speaker blaring in Tamil - exhorting the runners to give up (!!!) if it is not possible to finish; then came a barrage of drum-beats from our own and famous 'Chennai Sivamani'.

Meanwhile the Chennai runners did their three cheers - such a enthusiastic bunch are we, that we were a small blue sea in the midst of myriads colors. Could see some Caucasians and Far-Easterners; Akila, VT, Rajesh, KK and I planned to run together. Sudha decided to run with Soundarya and her husband.

Suddenly, as if somebody remembered, a 10 minute filler of effusive praises on the organisers and the sponsors happened;

Post this, a weird oath, which talked about the spirit of marathon and abiding of rules and regulations followed. That was a verbal signature of a declaration form.

The usual Chennai Marathon beginning - same delays! But the difference - I was behind the start line... I could not believe that this was real and happening... and was waiting for the starting whistle...

And the moment did come !!!

( To be continued)

My first HM - part 1: The preparations...

2010-08-29T20:48:00.000+06:00

I am going back to the day I declared that I will run a half. Around May 19th of this year. That was hot summer. I had targetted to finish around 3 hours 30 minutes.

I was told that running 16-18k would take me to the finish line. But I tend to disagree, as you would recognize from my version atleast.

Incidently, May 2010 also brought in a changed role, a national role, where I had to manage about couple of clients across South India. It meant more time at railway stations, bus depots and airports.

We were going strong with our Velachery chapter, and we had done our first 10k. May 23rd, I ran my first prepared 10k race ( even though I have run about 3x5k races, and one 10k before) in Sunfeast 10k Bangalore.

With confidence which came due to the strong finish in the Sunfeast, my training began.

In May and June, we had a simple routine. Monday - rest day; Tuesday - hills ( flyovers), Wednesday - easy runs, Thursday - Intervals and Sunday Long runs.

Week day trainings did become erratic in July and August, However, the focus on long runs was intense in July. From 10K, did a 13k couple of times.   Then did couple of 16k's and a near-2-hour-18k in July. That told me that I should run the 21.1k in 2.30.

Then work stepped up pressure and travel time . During August,  have travelled 9 times - including morning-evening shuttle flights.   Love for running meant that I carried my running kit all over.

Early August, thanks to a push from our Chennai Runner elites, ran a checkered 10x10 challenge ( 10 km for 10 days).   Also registered for Chennai Half Marathon and ECR Half Marathon during this period.

And the two weeks leading to Marathon - ZERO week day runs.    That set the stage for the Chennai Marathon.

All the training, motivation and focus would be challenged on race day. Surprise was at store.

( To be continued)

Too good - but can we make it last?

2010-08-23T14:10:00.000+06:00

The weather is awesome these days.   Too good to miss - especially for running.

We don't talk about global warming here -we know that it is time to do something about it.   But for Chennai, atleast in the short term, the weather looks positive.

I realized this when I was running amongst the green-woods of Indian Institute of Technology Campus, Chennai - which is one of the last green groves standing amidst the city.   This is a national park and a declared eco-sphere.

It has rained since mid-June atleast, once a week in Chennai. This is the first time, in 10 years it has happened. Consistently above-average rainfall in the last 3 months.   Is it too good to last?

The humidity is still here, but the sun is behind the clouds - the clouds have become more or less permanent curtains of the sky that way.

Rains bring freshness, joy and hope. Plants grow in whichever place they can; so the city and surroundings look greener.

We can enjoy the rains if the roads could wash away the puddles; if there were no potholes;   if the sanitary system was good enough to take the floods to the sea; if the rain water was collected properly.

I believe the people has realized the importance of all these - nice infra, nicer eco-system. We should realize that without proper planning, the city will creak under its reams - the gifts of nature like the recent rains will be of no effect- a good opportunity lost.

What we create, our gen-X will inherit.   I have already seen 4 kids, less than 10 years old, in my family - they are keen, impatient, mature and know what games adults play.   They do everything better, faster and smarter.   So let them get what they deserve - BETTER!

Otherwise, like the recent rains in Chennai, it would be good - but only for a moment. It is upon us, to make it last...shall we?

What my Mom taught...

2010-08-21T23:35:00.000+06:00

Just a small note before I go to sleep:   There are so many things that you learn from your Mom.   This one is the best - she taught me to:

HOPE.
Hope gives positiveness, and positiveness creates possibilities, and possibilities become opportunities. Opportunities become solutions.   How true!

I realize that now - after the 15 months of my mid-life birth!

This is the most amazing thing - You may learn something now, but realize the value of that learning much later.

She always told that Hope is within me - whatever situation it is, the only thing that should be always with us. You may lose your health and wealth, near and dear, but never lose hope.

May be all Mom's teach their sons, and so many things at that too.

But this is a small speck of a message - but I carry this in my valet.

Turning point - 2009...The 3 F's

2010-08-21T22:36:00.000+06:00

Last year May, I changed.   My life till then seemed out of control - everyday, was monotonous.   Run to manage a business, and run for numbers.

I only took the ' run' part into the new life. I opted out of the rat race. So I picked a role that helps me focus on lesser people, and build relationships.   My terms.

More family. More fitness. More finance. The 3F's are slowly becoming my priorities and my planning is around these. My life is lot slower, but I am content.

I have planned my retirement ( I call it a day when I dont have to work for others), and my son's education - grad/ post grad, if he wishes to pursue. Life is not yet systematic - anyways, I dont want it to be.

My fitness has become my passion - and running too.

Family - time - time with parents, wife, kids needs to improve. But I am working on it.

Well, I would say, considering this is now 15 months, I like this life.  I know more people than before; I know more things than before.

I have learnt it the hard way.

If you are reading this... I'd say, you start earlier.   Spend time with family and friends.

Work is only part of life. Work alone is not life.    Plan better, and expect lesser.   You will be lot more happier and peaceful.

Happy weekend folks...

Run and freedom

2010-08-15T14:23:00.000+06:00

I saw some posts today - runners tied themselves to the theme of 'freedom'.   I believe that you ask the 1.2 billion Indians and the 7 billion earthlings called humans, they will define freedom as they want - again as many definitions as there are heads.

Well,  freedom is an individual feeling.   Nothing is free- even freedom.   You pay for freedom.   And freedom is an inner feeling.   This is a kind of elation, high, unsatiated feeling of unshackling of what has tied -what you yearn for and earn!

It is like that that thirst for a chilled bottle of water, or hunger for that sumptuous feel or feeling of that drop-dead sleep...

Running gives you that feeling everytime.   Of course, it depends. I have felt it everytime I have run. It has helped me to

gather my thoughts
de-stress
plan my day
grab time for myself in a day when the entire time is hijacked
gives me control over my destiny
helps me achieve a goal
meditate and clear the cobwebs of my mind
make my body go with me
make my mind go with me ( this is different)
savor the little things in life - a bird flying, a kid playing with abundant joy
enjoy things afterwards - the sweetness of water, the hot and sweet chocolate, the arousing smell and flavor of a coffee

This list can go on. Freedom is to choose any of these and RUN. So running defines my freedom now -a-days.

You can run for a cause, run for an occasion, protest run ( march), run for fun, run for competition, run for fitness. So the menu is endless, is it not? So freedom to run or not to run, freedom to run for whatever you want, wherever, with whoever, how much distance, however fast...

So running is FREEDOM!!!

Happy independence day!!!

An Ode to Fitness Enterpreneurship

2010-08-14T11:37:00.000+06:00

With less than half knowledge, this becomes a knee-jerk blog.

I know this gentleman from my neighbourhood, who is a good runner, but is more a fitness Guru.   He has this entrepreneurial streak in him.   He was an ex-director of a fitness chain. Even before that he was in IT;   From IT to F'IT' was not only a spelling change, but a change in his way of life.

After every long run, our group of Chennai Runners, silently watch him stretch and relax every sinew, muscle and tendon and with little reluctance, and then with greater enthusiasm follow him. Now this has become a routine.

This gentleman has been working on funding on his new venture for quick sometime I learn.    Then he takes time for his family and skip a run whenever his son is 'under the weather'.   Another dimension - he quizzes and loves those coming a lot, and has a network that involve the high and mighty.

And this lady - we started off as running partners in our neighbourhood, and is the fitness freak in her family. Now I hear that the son and the daughter follow, and the hubby also hits the road once in a while.   She has been insisting on cross training ever since.

When I first met her, she had been working on an company that promotes IT based distance education (did I get it right?), and had sold it to a larger company; then she was scouting for new business ideas. Before the education foray, she was in a senior position with one of the top IT firms.

She also is a great family person - loves to get back to breakfast with family on Sundays, serves piping coffee to her hubby and is always concerned about her children.

The gentleman and the lady, have some half marathons under their belt, and love running - this is where I connect with them!

Just realized that both had lots of similarities.   And somewhere, I thought, may be these two will work together- (I really, really had this hunch).   Now, silently, two facebook posts later, albeit separately, this seems to have come true.

They have started to work on a Yoga Studio chain and looking for a place where the high and mighty of Chennai reside.

How they progress from here, only time will tell. But with her experience and exhuberance, and with his calm and deep thinking, they should do well together, is what I feel.

All the best and my wishes to them!

Breaks from running and running-breaks

2010-08-13T08:18:00.000+06:00

I realized that breaks from running are as important as running - which becomes breaks.

During post run breaks( especially a day or two- required after long runs) the body recovers slowly, especially the paining parts. The pains are actually pleasure, consider they came from running, a passion.

Alternately, consider a stressful day, when it goes to extent of skipping a meal, and a day when the schedule goes awry, a half an hour run stuffed in actually helps us break from the routine, and achieve something we want - both from a task-success perspective, and also a forced break from the humdrums of the stress that we have gone through that day.

Hence running is a tool that becomes effectively used, when we take both the breaks at the right time, and on the right occasion.

Suggestion -
1. Always carry your running kit around,   this is the best medicine from stress. Also, keeping the kit is an assurance that you can break away from stress any time.
2. Secondly, on the day of breaks from running ( non-running days), do less stressful jobs.   That is a choice we have. If we can't, then go back to point 1.

Enjoy the day!!!