Musings of a Transformation

The Year Of the Kayak

2019-10-01T04:18:00.000-04:00

Wow it's been awhile. Place holder post to see if everything still works.

Thinking & Feeling 1.11.17

2017-01-11T08:00:00.000-05:00

Feeling:

Existential Crises. All day, every day.

Watching:

Sister Wives new season. It's my one reality TV indulgence. Cody has shown so much growth and maturity and love this season. It's the only show I watch with in 24 hours of being out as well. I don't know why it entrances me. Psychology probably.

Listening:

This one is hard.... I haven't really been listening to anything. Oh I know, hockey podcasts. CBJ in 30 and BLR . If you want to hear me talk about hockey check out JacketCast.

Playing:

Just finished my yearly play through of Dragon Age Origins and am currently playing the first Fable game for the first time. Seeing the evolution of that game is super interesting.

Reading:

I just finished "Tears in the Wind: Triumph and Tragedy on America's Highest Peak" by Larry Semento . I should probably write an old fashioned Musings book review on it. I've been obsessed with all things mountain since my injury. No idea why, but this is probably the 10 th book I've read about mountain climbing and I've watched every documentary on Netflix and Amazon.

Looking forward to:

4 day weekend coming up!

Making me happy:

Let's go with mountains.

2016 The Year Of The Existential Crises

2017-01-09T21:57:00.003-05:00

In my last post I said that my big crush was Braden Holtby. We decided to go to a Capitals home game and spend a week in Washington DC. In the days preceding that trip, I got the stomach flu. The worst stomach flu of my life. I thought I sprained my neck during the illness. It got to the point where I couldn't open my jaw wide enough to eat. I went to get a massage hoping that would help and it did not. The day before we were suppose to leave I went to the Urgent Care to try to get muscle relaxers. They wouldn't see me because they thought it was meningitis. I was outraged and almost didn't go to the ER. We were leaving in the morning and I thought I would just power through it. Luckily, I decided to go to to a little ER near my house. There weren't many cars in the parking lot so I decided to go in. The DR in the ER thought I was right and that I had a sprained neck. But he wanted do to a CT scan first just to make sure.

He came into my room and said "Your left vertebral artery is dissected and there is a blood clot, we need to send you to a different hospital is there anyone you need to call?" I asked him if I my husband should come to where we were ( am I going to die now) or should he go to the hospital they were sending me to. He said he could go to the other hospital. Which was also an indication of how fast they planned on getting me to the other hospital.

I spent 7 days in the hospital. After more procedures they found out both arteries were torn. I was on super mega blood thinners, lifting restrictions, driving restrictions, nerve blockers....so many drugs. I did not work for three months.

As you can imagine almost dying has led to some serious life reviewing. On top of the that, in December I was told I would be laid off this year. It is obvious that there is a giant neon arrow flashing in front of me and that I am suppose to go do something different with my life. I just can't read the wording on the sign yet.

A-Z

2015-03-22T18:53:00.003-04:00

Stolen from Moosh in Indy.

A – Are you single?

Nope. Just had a 5 year wedding anniversary.

B – Birthday?

July 26

C – Crush?

Currently Braden Holtby. Goalie for the Washington Capitals. We bought tickets to the Capitals v the Blue Jackets because I was getting into Ovechkin after the All Star game. Dancing Holtby stole the show for me. Then I went home and Google him and OMG hotness. I am well known for my crushes though, and could probably list a few more.

SOURCE

Also. Goalies are crazy. CRAZY. Which is why I love them. Here is proof.

D – Drink you last had?

Zevia Cream Soda. Don't love it yet. Going to try again.

E – Easiest person to talk to?

Probably my husband. If I can't talk to him then who can I talk to?

F – Favorite song?

At the moment I listen to iPrevail s version of Blank Space ON REPEAT ALL THE TIME. Favorite song of all time? I have a whole blog about that.

G – Good at?

Being blunt, solving problems, lifting weights,playing any Dragon Age game more than is healthy.

H – Hair color?

Burnette redish at the moment. It's always about to change though.

I – In love with?

The idea of warm weather. Hockey. My car.

J – Jealous of?

People who live in milder climates. I've also found myself lusting after other women's long hair. I've been trying to grow mine out but it's been super slow. Probably because I freak out every other trip and ask her to shape it.

K – Known as?

Kelly, Miss Kelly, scarey Kelly.

L – Longest relationship?

7 years 8 ish months

M – Middle name?

Same as my mom's!

N – Number?

Always my birthday.

O – One wish?

Going materialistic here and say living downtown. I really want to make that happen. Less materialistic, finding a job that I can enjoy more days than not.

P – Person last texted?

Probably my husband, from a different room of the house.

Q – Question always asked?

Are you a season ticket holder to the Blue Jackets? No, I was not. I just went to enough games that I could have been so I see how you got that impression. Next season though.....

T – Time you woke up?

8:00 ish. I stayed up late last night.

U – Underwear color?

Pink.

V – Violent moment?

Did you see the Scarey Kelly nickname?

W – Worst fear?

My sub conscious has developed a real thing for Heights. They didn't use to bother me and on a conscious rational level they still don't. But man. Makes me nauseous, I start imaging jumping, it's crazy. The mind is crazy. Beyond that My nightmares are generally about being kidnapped, beaten, tortured, raped and killed, so let's add those to list too. The last one a guy strapped me to one of those ambulance backboard things and smothered me to death with a book. I got off pretty easy with that one.

X – Ex you never stopped loving?

I don't think I stop loving people I once loved. They get smaller heart space, but I don't think love goes away. Unless I was lying to myself about being in love. Which happened once for almost two years. Just because someone needs you doesn't mean it's love. Lesson learned.

Y – Your last hug?

Husband or dog. Dog has been clingy today.

Z – Zodiac sign?

Leo! We don't work on birthdays, we don't take any crap, and it's important to us that our hair looks good. We also not so secretly believe we are superior to all other signs.

SOURCE

Favorite Things 3.14.2015

2015-03-14T11:43:00.000-04:00

HOCKEY

Seriously it has been the winter of HOCKEY. Columbus Blue Jackets Hockey to be exact. I went from casual fandom to total rabid season ticket holder. Example, I only got one sentence into this blog post before I was sucked into a hockey discussion on twitter. Which brings me to my next new favorite thing.

TWITTER

Football is America's sport of choice. In Columbus Buckeye football is the sport of choice. Even though we have a professional hockey team, it's not as easy to find hockey fans in your current circles as you would think. I have yet to find another equally rabid fan casually in person. Twitter is full of rabid fans. Posting stats, commentary and hockey nerd humor. I also follow the players and the beat writers which adds a lot of insight. The Blue Jackets twitter account is hysterical as well as informative. They are also very responsive and I have reached out to them twice with situations that I needed assistance with and they have always been responsive an helpful. Twitter has been awesome.

PeroxiClear

The older I get the more sensitive to preservatives I become. I've been really struggling with food induced migraines again ( really need to go see an allergy Dr.) and the trigger seems to be preservatives. When I went to the eye Dr. complaining about red painful eyes he asked what solution I use. I used the cheapest generic solution at whatever store I was at. He told me that they have preservatives in them that could be irritating my eyes. He then gave me a sample of peroxi clear. This stuff is amazing. My eyes feel better. my contacts last longer and are cleaner. I really thought I was going to have to give contacts up so this makes me extremely happy. Totally worth the money it costs.

(SOURCE)

Punk Goes...

Pop, 90's, classics. There is a whole series of Punk goes records and they are so much fun. Despite my better judgement I have always loved pop music and I have always loved guys with guitars. It's really like they made these just for me. This summer when you hear a punk version of Taylor Swift's Blank Space blaring through open car windows, they are probably mine. Here it is for your listening pleasure. I heard it first at a hockey game because, you know, hockey.

My love for the Blue Jackets & Hockey

2015-02-11T18:31:00.001-05:00

I've spent most of the winter watching the Columbus Blue Jackets. This has also involved a lot of Twitter. It was because of Twitter that I saw the Ladies Who Give A Puck request submissions from ladies about why they loved hockey. The timing was perfect as I had been wondering that myself. Sure I've always loved contact sports and testosterone but what made this year different? Writing helped me to figure that out for myself. They have published it on their blog for your reading pleasure. Please go take a look and let me know what you think!

https://ladieswhogiveapuck.wordpress.com/2015/02/11/how-i-became-a-fan-kelly/

Thinking, Feeling.... 6.29.2014

2014-06-30T06:00:00.000-04:00

Feeling:
A new work opportunity has come up so that comes with the usual mix of emotions. I am really going to miss my team but I am realllllyyy excited to be doing something new. I was so bored. I have to get my work in a good place and train a couple of replacements, but then I am free from a job I've done off and on for four years. Goodbyeeeee boredom!

Watching:
The CW's Beauty and the Beast . I kind of watched the first 7 episodes in one day. Jay Ryan is HOT ( Why did no one tell me?) and the voice he is using is Sex on speed. If you like deep gravelly voices, check it out.

Listening:

The Springsteen concert I went to was posted to his website. So I have downloaded the whole concert to my IPOD and listen to it constantly. Mostly the Live version of Johnny 99. A lot.

Playing:

Kingdoms of Amalur, for the second play through on XBOX 360. I am also playing Castle Clash on my tablet every day.

Reading:

I am reading Dear Carey. I am almost done with it. It's been a really enjoyable read and a true story, I am very sad to get to the very sad ending.

Looking forward to:
Lunch with the same friend I mentioned the last time I did this. And I haven't had lunch with him since so very much looking forward to it, again. I am also looking forward to the humidity dying down.....hopefully?

Making me happy:
The Columbus Zoo ! My husband and I finally got a membership and we've been there three times. They've recently opened a new area call The Heart of Africa. The Lions and Cheetahs are closer, you can watch the Cheetahs run and there are now Giraffes. It's really awesome, I highly suggest it.

Mr. Mercedes Review

2014-06-08T08:54:00.000-04:00

SOURCE

If you would have told me at any point in my reading career that I would be eagerly anticipating the new Stephen King novel I would have made a face and told you I doubted it. King fans are a little obnoxious. We all know that person who ONLY READS STEPHEN KING BOOKS or you ask in small talk what they like to read and the response is OMG STEPHEN KING. I avoided his work, in no small part because of these people, until I met my husband. He told me I really did need to read The Shinning. He was right. He told me I would like The Dark Tower Series. I only got two books into that series, as I felt Mr. King "pulled a Heroes" and refused to read any further, but I enjoyed what I read. I am half way through Salems Lot and have been for two years now. After these experiences I did not go out of my way to seek out the latest and greatest Stephen King novel.

Then came Doctor Sleep, the sequel to The Shinning. The Shinning was amazing so I had to read Doctor Sleep right? As you can probably tell from my review, I loved it. In Stephen King fandom style LOVED IT.

When I came across a review for Mr. Mercedes it really struck a chord. What I enjoyed so much about Doctor Sleep was the deep character profile. Mr. Mercedes was promising similar. Purely on how much I enjoyed I Doctor Sleep I also Pre ordered Mr. King's November release revival. Do I sound like a crazy Stephen King fan yet?

I started reading Mr. Mercedes the morning of 6/7/2014. I finished reading it at 1 o clock in the morning 6/8/2014. Like Doctor Sleep, Mr. Mercedes has two voices, the good guy and the bad guy. This is usually a warning sign for me that I am going to have to plod through a second and inferior narrator to read the really good parts of the book. Not so with Mr. Mercedes. I never once thought " I wonder what the other guy is doing right now." It's not that I didn't care, both voices simply sucked me into their world. The transitions were seamless and I gladly rolled into whatever narrative was being offered.

The glimpse into the workings of someone else's mind is what drew me into Doctor Sleep and what made me buy Mr.Mercedes. Mr. Mercedes did not disappoint. I understood the psychopath, and I understood the retired cop ( Det Ret). I compulsively read the psychopaths part in the story to get a better look at his dysfunction and his thinking. I was happy to read the Det Ret story to work on the puzzles and solve the mystery with him.

This book had one drawback for me. For as messy and dysfunctional as the story was willing to get, the ending was a pretty package with a bow on top. I had a hard time believing the nature of the story I just read could end so pleasantly. I seem to like messy endings better as an adult. I know things don't always end well and they shouldn't in book either. While the characters in Mr. Mercedes deserved the ending they got ( maybe better) the end of the book did not fit with the tone of the rest of it. That was disappointing.

Before I picked a star rating on this I looked back at my Doctor Sleep review. Doctor Sleep was more compelling, but it also had larger flaws. I still gave it 5 stars for the experience that reading it is.

Mr. Mercedes get's 4 and 1/2. And I reserve the right to sleep on it.

A Wood Pecker + Wandering = A Very Good Day

2014-05-05T06:00:00.000-04:00

I walked out of my house and heard a tapping sound. I turned towards the only tree in my yard as I was going to cut across the yard to my car. Sitting in my tree, peck peck pecking away was a giant wood pecker. I had never seen one before, and I had no idea how big they were. I have since googled them, and they really don't look that big in pictures either. The one in my tree... big...huge... and scary. He wasn't afraid of me in the least. I inched closer and closer to him. trying to get a good picture. I only had my camera phone and he did not sit still. The pictures aren't great but you can get a general idea of his size.

After work I was wandering around Columbus waiting for the Women's Fund annual Key Holder to start and I discovered this.

I've lived in Columbus and worked downtown for nearly 8 years and had never seen or noticed it before. This makes me think I should wander around more often.

Have you had any good wanderings lately?

Bruce Springsteen Concert Columbus, OH 4-15-14

2014-05-03T10:58:00.001-04:00

Teenagers love music. My parents were young when I was born, 19 & 20. That put's their teen years in the 70's. I believe their teen and young adult attachment to music is the reason I have vast knowledge and appreciation of music.

The 70's produced some pretty amazing music. Among those were Bruce Springsteen's albums Born to Run & Darkness on the Edge of Town. Rolling Stone named Born to Run 18th in their Greatest Albums of All Time. I tell you this, because when I start talking Springsteen to an audience that is not equally fanatical, I sound a little crazy. And I am, but the does not mean the music is not worthy.

I grew up listening to Born to Run and Darkness On The Edge of Town on the record player and Live 75-85 in the car's cassette player. The gritty world of Springsteen was the soundtrack to my childhood, the theme to teenage years, and the solace of my adulthood.

When Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street band began actively touring again my parents and I were thrilled. My dad I usually go together and sometimes my mom comes along as well. They are spiritual, cathartic, physical and FUN. Here are sections from Amanda Palmer's blog about her first Springsteen show.

" HOLY SHIT I WENT TO SEE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN LAST NIGHT AND HE BLEW MY MIND. why did nobody tell me???
i expected it to be a run-of-the-mill okay rock show. but the guy is an entertainer of the highest order: he’s heartfelt royalty. he and the e street band played to 25,000 australians and the soccer arena felt like a church. he carried himself with such…i dunno: STATELINESS.... just…all around, mind blown. it also made me want to throw the entire idea of this fucking book out the fucking window.

WHAT AM I DOING WRITING A BOOK?
I’M A SONGWRITER.
he made me want to write. i wanted to get back to the piano, i missed my band, i missed being on stage, i wanted to write a whole musical about my experience growing up in the psycho-superficial dark-light suburban yards and alleys of lexington massachusetts and i wanted to tell stories as simple and honest as bruce springsteen and mine that part of my soul. "

That is what he does to you.

Springsteen shows, collectively, are among the best experiences of my life. His latest tour was no exception. These were the most notable moments for me.

Adam Raised the Cain

The song has this heavy base line in it that sets the dark tone and tells you were it's headed. This is the first time I had heard it in concert and that line being played live with trombones and tenor saxophones drilled right into my soul. A reminder that you were at a Springsteen concert, and that even listening becomes a physical, soulful act.

The River

This song left me terrified of teen pregnancy as a kid. It lays out the consequences both from a socio economic stand point and the emotional repercussions. It has always been one of my favorites. Springsteen has very few ballads but The river is definitely a ballad. His rendition that night was absolutely beautiful. It's a song that I have head hundreds, if not thousands of times. By the end of The River on that night I was crying. The key he was singing in the emotion he was put into it created a beautiful moment.

Johnny 99

Remember back when I was listing out my top two favorite Springsteen songs, and I didn't list Johnny 99? I lied. Springsteen has hundreds of songs. I love the anthems, I love the folk, I even like the pop. As a born and raised Springsteen fan, I feel like it's my duty to drop the names of the big anthems that people might not know but would love if they would check it out. So I do, even when I don't realize it.

When I am being completely honest with myself, Johnny 99 is probably very nearly my favorite Springsteen song. It's off the Nebraska Album, but the version I grew up with is from the live recordings 75-85. I remember asking my dad if Johnny killed the night clerk or if he just shot him. My dad said that was for me to figure out. As you can tell, it's not a happy song.

Imagine my surprise when E Street band completely lit into it with a jazzed up dance hall vibe. I fell in love with the song all over again. My dad and leaned across my mom at the same moment to yell at each other above the blaring horns and piano "This is awesome!" I will never forget the magic of it.

Upon research when I got home it appears he's been playing that version live for at least 4 years, I had just never heard it or seen it live. I am so glad I did.

Tenth Avenue Freeze Out

There is a line in Tenth Avenue Freeze Out that say's " A change was made up town and the Big Man joined the band" that was followed by a Clarence saxophone solo. The last time Bruce Springsteen and E- Street band went on tour, it was right after Clarence Clemmons ( the Big Man), the saxophone player and main Springsteen stage foil, died. I took the death hard, and it was hard to imagine a Springsteen show with out him. When they got to this song last year, the arena went silent. As I and hundreds of others cried, pictures of Clarence were flashed on the screens. I was impressed b the amount of love and Grace that took Springsteen and the band. This was their friend whom they knew and loved. Every night they went out and played they held this memorial for Clarence and Danny Federici letting us mourn and share their grief with them. That's a lot emotion to face down, but they did it anyway.

I wondered then, if that's how the song would go forever after. Even with Clarence's nephew standing in his old spot, would that song and solo ever feel right again?

I shouldn't have worried. Once again showing a charity of spirit that I don't think I could muster, the band stopped playing. A recording of the Big Man playing his solo blared over the speakers along with pictures of him on the screen. The band came back in, and the pictures kept going until the end of the song. It was very tasteful, very well done, and honored the Big Man very well.

The rest of the three hour show included:

Trapped
Born to Run
Bad Lands
Hungry Heart
Dancing in the Dark
Back Streets
Darlington County
Bobbie Jean
41 Shots
The Rising
Sunny Day
Blinded by the Light
Prove it all Night
Lonesome Day
Wrecking Ball
Ghost of Tom Joad
Death to my Home Town
Dream Baby Dream
Shackled and Drawn
Shout

Rock, folk, pop and jigs. Whatever your musical tastes are, Springsteen has an album for it. I love all of them, and I will keep going to shows as long as he has them.

Photo time!

Official comments and photos:

http://brucespringsteen.net/news/2014/notes-from-the-road-columbus

http://brucespringsteen.net/news/2014/photos-from-the-road-columbus

Thinking, Feeling 4.29.2014

2014-04-30T06:00:00.000-04:00

Feeling:
Excited! My husband and I have decided to start working in a new 2-5 year plan, and I am super psyched for the end result. I am also excited to sit down and hammer out the details and start working on it. Not excited because tight budgets suck, but excited about moving forward.

Watching:
I am not enraptured by any series currently. I dedicate a part of last week to Chris Hemsworth ( always a good decision) and we've been watching Myth Busters and Dirty Jobs to fill silent space. Mike Rowe is a cool dude.

SOURCE

Listening:

I just went to a Springsteen concert. So lots of new and old Springsteen. Also kind of obsessed with the single version of Defying Gravity. Someone needs to take me to see Wicked next time it's in town. Just saying.

Playing:

Pocket Stables is one of my absolute favorite games of all time. It's in the Droid and Kindle store. You buy, raise. train race and breed horses. The breeding is the fun part because it's all about strategy and timing. I pretty much play it constantly.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=net.kairosoft.android.horse_en

Reading:

Duty To The Dead. I am not loving it, but it is a mystery and I want to see how it ends, so I am holding on. I am about 1/2 through and it feels like I should have been done days ago. However, I've been on quite the spree of reading books in 48 hours or less, so that's probably why heading into a week of starting this one I am starting to get antsy. It is part of a series that I was hoping to get into, but I think I will be one and done.

SOURCE

Looking forward to:
Tanning, getting more information about the Masters of Business Psychology I found, lunch with a friend on Thursday... Oh and speaking of Thursday, SUPER excited about an event that day. I am hoping to have an inspired blog about it afterward.

Making me happy:
Looking for tattoo ideas on the internet. I've had 3 ish in mind for a long time, now I have a solid fourth, and I think it's about time to do something about it. I figure I can set them up as weight loss rewards. Kind of obsessed with maps, compasses and the "water color" effect right now. ( Sources on my pinterest board if you are interested).

What are you up to?

I Need to catch up!

2014-04-28T06:00:00.000-04:00

I have at least 4 posts in my head that I really want to get down. I seem to keep not writing them, however.

I am rebooting my weight loss/ work out routine. Monday is my official soft start. What is a soft start you ask?

1. Be careful with food, but no hard no's
2. Track everything I put in my mouth.
3. Design work out plan, do not flog self for missing days.
4. Be more active in every day life

The real start usually comes a week after. Sooner if the tracking of food is preposterous that I say to heck with this I am losing weight! Real start is:

1. Be strict with food, counter any overages with exercise
2. Track everything I put in my mouth
3. Exercise is not an option.
4. Be more active in every day life

One of the blogs I read does a scale Saturday with screen shots from her scale. and her victories for the week. I may try a version of her format here, I think it could work for me. I love numbers, so I am always charting and graphing my weight loss but having to actually see it on the scale here has it's accountability and appeal.

Also, don't hate, but I am going to start tanning this week. I am super white, I burn super easy, and for the last two years I have had awful cyclist tan lines. This year I would like to try to avoid at least some of the whole burn, tan line, burn cycle. It's also part of a larger plot to get me to the gym when I don't feel like it. You know, the mental mind games. I'll start with " I am just going to go to the gym to tan" and then " Well I am here I may as well hit the weights." At least that's the hope.

Today was a 14 mile bike ride at about a 13 mph average. Not a bad soft start! I had to take a breather and noticed this beautiful tree above me. I might try to get my real camera out there Tuesday or Wednesday and get a better picture of it before it blooms.

How do you start your weight loss regimes? Any tips or tricks?

Russian Winter - Book Review

2014-04-22T21:04:00.002-04:00

(Source)

Russian Winter is the story of a Russian ballerina during the time of Stalin and what her choices have made of her life in the present day.

One of the most interesting things about this novel for me was the psychology of the people in Stalin's Russia. In the time before the internet, and with no or restricted TV, entire generations lived under the belief that there was no other way to live. In one scene she accidentally crosses into a non communist state and is amazed that there are Bananas for sale and no line. One of the many examples, but I realize that I am a psychology nerd and should probably move on.

Most books that attempt dual-ling time frames fail to make you as interested in one of the stories. For most of this book, the modern day story line was the least interesting for me. While parts of it were very good, and would have been fine as a stand alone novel, I was still reading quickly to get back to 1940's Russia.

There is not a solid resolution to this book. Which the older I get the more I seem to appreciate. There are hints, and a few conflicting clues, but in the end you are left to draw your own conclusions. This can be frustrating, but for Russian Winter it fits.

Daphne Kalotay created two incredibly believable worlds. I have never had an interest in Russian history or the history of ballet and now I am hooked. She provided her reference and reading materials at the end of the book and I am looking forward to reading them myself. It is a great accomplishment for a writer to make you see, taste and touch their world. It is an even greater accomplishment to make you want to stay there.\

5/5

Second Ride of the Year - Sunday Snapshot 3.16.14

2014-03-16T06:00:00.000-04:00

On Tuesday 3/11 the weather in Columbus was amazing. High 60's and full of sunshine.

I had gone on my first bike ride of the year the previous Sunday. It was about 45 degrees, which wasn't bad on the way out, but we had the wind in our face coming back and it was pretty miserable.

Tuesday was perfect. I completely forgot to grab my headphones and it was a really good thing. I was only going on a short ride, less than 10 miles, so I really didn't need the motivation/distraction. It gave me the chance to enjoy the wind, and the other people out and enjoying the nice day. There were a lot of couples out walking their dogs, jogging and biking.

But the show stopper was the sky. Totally gorgeous.It was so nice getting out into the sun and the air and getting the chance to really move.

Doctor Sleep - Review

2014-03-14T06:00:00.000-04:00

Source

Doctor Sleep works as a stand alone novel but is the sequel to The Shining. If you have only ever seen the movie for The Shining you have done yourself a disservice. The book and the movie are completely unique.

Doctor Sleep is at its most intense, its most scary, when focused on Dan Torrence. His talents, his addictions, his demons and his memories. Introduced in Doctor Sleep is a group of energy eaters called The Knot. They were suppose to be the villains of the piece, but this book really didn't need them. It had Dan.

The first part of this book had me afraid to have my limbs hanging off of the bed and walking around my dark house with my flashlight app on.

The rest was a very enjoyable story. But I really could have read 500 pages of Dan's personal and supernatural battles and been just as happy.

5/5

Favorite Songs

2014-03-12T06:00:00.000-04:00

The Favorite List continues with my favorite songs.

Creep
I would have never put this on a top list of my favorite songs until a few months ago. My husband said "Hey it's your favorite song" and I said " No it's not" and then I realized that in fact it was. Glee did a really fantastic cover version, believe it or not. You can listen to it hear.

Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad
Why this Meat Loaf - Jim Steinman song? I don't know. I've always loved it. I can remember forcing my brother to sing back up with me to it in the car when we were little. I can't help but sing along when I chance by it on a radio.

Lincoln Ave - Train
Let's go back to 2003. Drop's of Jupiter was mine and every other woman's favorite song of the moment. Train released another album called My Private Nation. So I bought it, because I loved that one song off of their first album. I think the big hit off of this album was Calling all Angels, which for the record I do not like. Track 10 was never released on the radio. Track 10 though..... track 10 I have always had to listen to at least twice every time. Because as I am singing along and getting to the part that says " And I'll tell myself, I'll make it through, I'll tell myself anything to get over you" I tear up. EVERY TIME. So then I have to listen to it again as a kind of palate cleanser to just enjoy the song. Then I usually listen again. You should do yourself a favor and check it out. It's about a husband telling his wife, that he's sorry that he hasn't grown up fast enough, but does she remember when she loved that about it him? He tells her he's ready to show her, ready to try, but if she doesn't take him back he knows he will never get this again, but he will try to get over her anyway. It's sad, and it tells a beautiful story. You should do yourself a favor and have a listen.

Acoustic # 3
Another song that was never on the radio. Dizzy Up The Girl is the Goo Goo Doll's biggest most famous album because Iris is on it. In my opinion, it is one of the greatest albums ever, and certainly my #1 favorite. I had a really hard time picking one song on it for this list. Black Balloon, Bullet Proof, Hate This Place, all my favorites. I am still conflicted really. But Acoustic #3 wins because it's quiet, beautiful, and can also get me emotional. The whole album is amazing though.

Backstreets/Jungleland
I know, that's cheating. I think it's a fair compromise though considering I could rattle off 10 of my favorite Springsteen songs with out even trying. When I was growing up, my two favorite Springsteen songs were The River ( great birth control when taken to heart) and Racing In The Streets. My dad's has unnwaveringly been Backstreets since forever. I am older than he was when the song first came out now, and I get it. Lost youth, sacrifice, and trying so hard to be an ideal that you lose part of yourself to it. I get it, and now it's my favorite song too. I am mentioning Jungle Land because I love words, and Jungleland is a song for people who love words. If I ever A. Stop being Lazy and B. Stop being cheap I want to get "Outside the streets on fire in a real death waltz between what's flesh and what's fantasy" tattooed on my hip.

Wow, have you ever sat down and talk about the songs that you love? This is quite the emotional roller coaster. Ahem, next on the list.

Stop and Stare
This song got me through a really rough time in my life, and deserves to be here just for that. Memorable lyric for me : You start to wonder why you're here not there, and you'd give anything to get what's fair, but fair ain't what you really need"

Innocent
Another fantastic album from my college years was Something Like Human from Fuel. Another very solid over all album. Innocent wins as my favorite Fuel song mostly for this line " Angels lend me your might, forfeit all my lives to get just one right." But I enjoy all of their songs.

Mr. Brightside
I can't really explain all the reasons I love this song. I just do. I love it.

The Scientist
Even though this is the only Coldplay song I really enjoy, it's somehow one of the most important songs in my my life. It really helps you with mourning a relationship. Any relationship. Even when you don't think you have too.

(Everything I do) I do It For You
If you remember back to my favorite movie list, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves was right at the very top. For the record, I love every Bryan Adams song ever, 18 till I die was one of the best records ever made and I feel some guilt over going with the big obvious one. But it is what it is. Not only have I loved this song since 4th grade, but I still love it now. So, on the list it goes.

What is your favorite song?

Thinking Feeling 3.10.14

2014-03-10T06:00:00.000-04:00

*** This is my 100th blog post! Yay me!***

Feeling:
Tired. There is a lot going in right now with health type stuff. Add that to work type stuff and life type stuff and it's all pretty overwhelming.

Watching:
Castle . One of my friends gave me the first 5 seasons on DVD and I have gotten through every single episode. I am currently watching the 6th season on Hulu. It is good fluff. More about the mystery then about the gore. It's been really nice filler tv while everything I usually watch was on winter break.

Reading:

Dr. Sleep and it is scaring the crap out of me. It is the sequel to Stephen Kings The Shining I am sure there will be a review here because so far I am LOVING it. Even if I currently can't let my limbs hang off the side of the bed and I might be a teeny bit anxious in the dark.

As a side note to this, I first tried reading Innocent which is Dean Koontz's new book. I've read more Dean Koontz, and I would have told you that I am Dean Koontz fan. BUT. I probably won't be finishing Innocent. It's basically Odd Thomas and Stormy Llwelyn in a new adventure. The blatant recycling of characters irritated me enough to give up on it quickly. It had not done much to grab before then.

Source

Looking forward to:
Warm weather! Sunshine! Fresh air! Riding my bike! Trips to the park! Sunshine!

Source

Making me happy:
We have had a fruit fly infestation for months. We couldn't figure out how to get rid of them. We used every commercial trap and Google solution we could find. We kept the kitchen clean, I used garbage disposal cleaner once a week, it was So ridiculous So disgusting and So disheartening.

Then, the basement drain backed up. We had have a plumber drag a huge rotorooter down the stairs and snake the drain. Then what happened? The fruit flies magically went away. It's amazing. I was a month or two away from burning the house down, so I am relieved.

What are you up to?

Favorite Movies

2014-03-08T06:00:00.000-05:00

When MySpace was the "in place" to be, a bunch of old high school acquaintances and I filled out a lot of surveys to get to know each other again or better. That as slowed on Facebook, we all use status updates a lot more than we use the notes or blog section. One think I miss about those days is the self reflection. For example I haven't asked myself what my favorite song is in a long time. Therefore, I am going to do some top 10 lists on the blog. Starting with movies because songs are way harder. Way.

1. Sense and Sensibility
If I had to pick one movie to watch for the rest of time this would be it. I've probably watched it at least 30 times.

2. Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves
Oh Kevin Costner. Now this movie I've probably seen 100 times. Seriously. Love it.

3. Disney's Robin Hood
Yes, two Robin Hood movies one after the other. I don't care, both are great. I had a huge crush on the fox Robin Hood.

4. Santa Clause The Movie

The original one from 1980's. It's everything that I dreamed Santa's workshop would look like and I got to see it play out on TV. Completely magical.

5. Someone Like You

Ever since Hugh Jackman was Wolverine, I have loved him. It's probably why I ever sat down to watch Someone Like You. It is a Rom Com, right down to Marisa Tomei as the snappy side kick. But the cast is solid, it makes you laugh and at one point, Hugh Jackman takes his shirt off. What else could you ask for?

6. Lord of the Rings The Two Towers

Continuing on with men who I am in love with, Viggo Mortensen. I like all three movies but The Two Towers is the quickest to get through and packed full of sexiness. And other good movie stuff....

7. Fight Club
This movie will also show up on my favorite book list. I kind of aspire to live like Tyler Durden, and fail miserably. So I watch this movie and read the book over and over again instead.

8. Pride and Prejudice ( the Keria Knightly version)
Among Austenites this is a fairly sacrilegious choice. If you don't go with Colin Firth as Darcy then you can't really show your face. Don't care, it's still awesome.

9. Love Actually
While I enjoy the whole movie, I really only watch it for the Keria Knightly storyline. And my broken heart will love you, until you look like this.

10. Talladega Nights
I am not a huge Will Ferrell fan. But I laugh my butt off to this movie ( the original, not the lame ass extended cut) Every. Single. Time. "Anarchy! Anarchy! I don't know what it means but I love it!"

What is your favorite movie?

Room - Review

2014-03-06T06:00:00.000-05:00

The first nightmare I ever remember having was about abduction. Ever since, my nightmares have always been about abduction, rape, torture and murder. Very graphic, with movie like story lines.

That being said, I have no idea what possessed me to read this book.

Room is written from the perspective of Jack, a 5 year old boy. You come to realize that he and his mother are in a 12x12 room that they cannot leave. His mother was abducted when she was 19 and Jack was a product of the repeated rape.

Happy right?

Room is extremely engrossing. First, I was obsessed with seeing how the mother managed to keep a 5 year old entertained day after day in a 12x12 room. Then I was obsessed with seeing if they got out and the potential repercussions.

There were sometimes I skimmed a bit, but I also read this book in one day and probably wouldn't have gotten bored with some of the details had I set it down occasionally. Room is really hard to set down.

Room is very well written, and getting to know Jack makes it completely worth the read. I have already added other books by Emma Donoghue to my Kindle wish list. I haven't had that reaction to a book in quite awhile.

However, if violence against women, rape, suicide, abduction, or anything like that is a trigger for you are better off to stay far away.

My nightmares are certainly back full force.

4/5

Things That Make Me Happy

2014-03-04T06:00:00.000-05:00

1. Art

I forget sometimes how happy art makes me. Looking at beautiful things is something I really need make a concerted effort to do more often.

2. Indoor pools during the winter

My husband and I's anniversary is in late February, right about the time we are fed up with winter and can't take anymore. Every year we go to a hotel with an indoor pool. It is amazingly good for the soul and i highly recommend it.

3. Whimsy

I am a serious logical person. Sometimes I forget how much fun it is to just have fun. Be goofy, remember childhood, imagine and dream.

4. Books

I've talked about this before, but I love books. I love the smell, I love learning, I love being in a fantasy.... I love reading. I think I need to relish that a little bit more too.

Pet Peeves

2014-03-02T15:40:00.001-05:00

1. Whistlers

Seriously. Why do people think I want to hear them whistling at Meijer or while I eat lunch or anytime. Ever. I don't.

2. Parents

There were quite a few incidents of ungrateful parenting this weekend. A mother in a clothing store, disinterested in her daughter trying on dresses for a dance for example. The daughter said to her mother " Mom I want a reaction, not just it's okay." The response was " What do you want from me? You dad is trying to face time me and I am hungry. I am not going to buy you a dress today anyway you will just change your mind." How many dresses will she get to shop for with the daughter she was blessed to have? 2 or three a year for four years? So let's say 12. 12 dresses, 12 experiences, 12 chances to make her daughter feel beautiful and wanted. The mother definitely failed that time.

3. SUV's that drive like they rear wheel drive cars with bald tires in the snow.

4. SUV's that drive like they are invincible in the snow.

5. Paying $5 for a drink that is nasty.

Starbucks and Planet Smoothie, I am looking at you. The least you could do for $5 is get it right.

I should post things that make me happy next.

Favorite Things

2014-01-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

1. I have this thing for Elephants. Big mammals in general ( hippo, rhino, horses) but the elephant is the clear winner. Why do we all have that one animal that speaks to us? Any ideas? We don't go to Target much, but we were there recently and found this:

Now, I already have this one:

But it is an at home mug. The new one is a take to work mug. Elephants everywhere!

2. How did I survive 4 years without a dishwasher? Absolute insanity and I will never do it again. Ever.

3. Sticking with appliances, Check out one of Brad's birthday presents:

Soda Stream

Cool right? So far so good! Having easy drink variety for every whim is nice. I also think that with most of the start up cost out of the way it will be cost effective. As long as we turn in the old Co2 cartridges we will get a replacement at a discount. Every flavor we have tried so far has been very solid, which has been a relief. Favorite so far is Root Beer!

4. Thai Food, specifically curry. I just discovered a Thai restaurant much closer and much more affordable. Brad will probably be getting dragged there a lot.

5.Hockey! SO much better live than on TV. Probably my favorite sport for the last couple years. If you have never treated yourself to a game ( and you like contact sports) you should. It is a lot of fun.

What I Bought at Dollar Tree

2014-01-12T06:00:00.000-05:00

I mentioned back in my Christmas wishlist that I had the random urge to bake cake and put cake pans and cake baking accessories on my wish list. I did not get any of them for Christmas. This in no way stopped my urge for cake baking. The end game still being that I am good enough at it by March 2 so I can make my niece her usual request of a chocolate cake with chocolate icing. The freak.

Cake supply less, I've been scheming about when I will have enough money to buy myself cake pans, carriers and cooling racks. Then today, I remembered what happened when I got the urge to bake bread. I went to the Dollar Tree for foil bread pans and ended up finding real bread pans for a dollar. Off to the Dollar Tree I went, and what do you know. Cake pans, carriers, and cooling racks. Nothing that will last a lifetime, but a great way to see if I actually like this and will do it often enough to warrant spending real money on it.

$4 in equipment later, we have lemon cake!

Well, two actually but the second one looked like this.

And then this....

And I was thinking, well, once I stack them, frosting will hide a multitude of sins.

But then I remembered that I live at my house, and we do not keep milk on hand. Did I mention I decided to start this project at 9 pm? I decided to wait to make the frosting after a grocery store trip. At this point, I still had hopes for a pretty stacked cake tomorrow. Then my husband wanted some, so I cut the bottom off. Then I decided to try to flip them and the mangled one fell apart.
Along with my dream.
The cake and a 1/2 are now in my dollar store carrier ( totally not trusting that handle btw) and I will attempt to make frosting tomorrow.

Now, I wanted to end this post with " and here is a picture of my little baking buddy" and show a current picture of my little dog. My little, lovable dog.....who hates cameras. Hilarity ensued.

Caption: If I just keep moving they will never catch me.

Caption: Noooooo I don't like pictures!

Caption: Must escape clutches......

Caption: Why don't they love me anymore?

Caption: Maybe if I ignore them they will go away.

Thanks to Stefanie for hosting Sunday Snapshot!

Thinking, Feeling 1.10.14

2014-01-10T06:00:00.000-05:00

Thinking about: Ways to break out of the doldrums. The -30 degree days have really sapped my will to live.

Feeling: Doldrummy. I am writing a blog post to justify still sitting on my butt and not being an active member of my life.

Watching: Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I am almost through Season 5 ( Honestly I skipped most of 4, it's a crap season). If I ever watch Buffy a third time I think it will be a 1-3 and then 7 kind of viewing. We will see how season 6 is. Spike is by far my favorite character. My husband and I go in very predictable directions. His favorite characters are the every man ( in this case, Xander) and mine are the bad guys. The sick and twisted bad guys. Also, David Boreanz is much hotter in Bones than he ever was in Buffy. I might have a thing for older men to.....

Reading: I am reading a lot right now. My favorite fiction of the moment is The Ghost Bride 1/2 way through. My favorite faith reading right is The Circle Maker. It gets a lot of mixed feedback from the Christian community but it is really helping me. My favorite concepts right now are "Stop pleading and start praising" and defining Jericho and victory for myself. Good stuff.

Looking forward to: Getting the library clean. I am really looking forward to having my own quiet space.

Making me happy: Working on my prayer journal design is still making me happy. So is my new dishwasher and a clean kitchen.

What are you up to?

26 Books

2014-01-08T06:00:00.000-05:00

In my New Years Resolution post I mentioned that I want to read 26 books this year. I thought I would share with you the list and their priority. This list is up for editing and I guarantee changes will be made. I can't walk into a book store ( or Amazon) without buying a book. Any new purchase will probably sky rocket to the top of the list. As long as I hit 26 I am happy.

Are you asking yourself why I bothered to make a list then?

I have a 4 bedroom house with an office. One of these rooms is called the library because it is full of books. There are book on my night stand, books beside my bed, and books in my living room. I also have a Kindle full of books.

I need some focus, but I also needed to see how many books I wanted to read. The 26 barely scratches the surface, I was able to create it in 5 minutes. If I want to read everything I want to read it only makes sense to know what that actually looks like.

Two things about this list: 1. I only put enough of the title to remind myself what book it was and 2. There are only 25 because I am already accounting for some editing. If you are interested in one of the titles but can't find it based on the information given just let me know and I will fill in the blanks for you.

What do you like to read?