Musings of the Idle Mind

Self Confidence

2019-10-14T07:04:00.003-06:00

Look within yourself and your life
Find out what is good and what is right
Whether it involves looking up at the stars
Or having a collection of a bunch of old cars.
No matter how you look on any morning, or any day
Don’t let the wave collapse you in the bay.
Don't let someone criticize the way you are
Let yourself shine; show all your scars.
Life is a benefit so use it wisely
Don’t walk away or use it blindly.
Find the meaning of what you desire
Let it sing the chords of a choir.
It may be a challenge to find a path
But do not get devoured in your wrath
Be yourself in every way
And never feel like you're the prey.

- by Amruta
(Oct 13 2019)

Home

2013-04-09T02:42:00.000-06:00

"Don't worry, my love!", she whispered,
As he sat by her in the dim lit room,
"My journey's begun to my place before,
It's where all happiness does mushroom"

"It's not far, and the way is clear,
The silver sky's bright all through;
I can see those hills from here
And I do feel the cool breeze too."

"There I see those meadows white,
And dancing rows of lilies blue,
Gently caressed by air's delight
And kissed just so by the crystal dew."

"What lies beyond I know is my Home,
With walls of marble and golden hue.
Back in the garden there's a silver dome,
That is where I'll wait for you."

Gambler

2013-04-09T01:27:00.003-06:00

He'd sit alone by the steps of the temple
As the day walks in gently from the East.
He'd spread that rag with arms that tremble
He's all that he has that can himself assist.

He'd settle in so and slowly prepare
For another day of seeking dependence
To again be that object of all stare
And in turn earn a few more pence.

He'd seen much better days in the past
Days when the Present was per his wishes,
And happiness was next to luck in the cast
On life's theatrical stage full of flushes.

He'd been part of that world resplendent
Enjoying the art of being carefree
Thought his coffers one could never indent
And hunger then was his least worry.

As time flew by on those lazy, lazy days
The thought struck him to make easy money
To mock at, to ridicule the tested ways
That said hard work is life's best journey.

So, long before knowing what was amiss,
He gambled all the way down to a dime.
Then left with none, and no ingress,
He turned a nomad, wandering with time.

He never spent effort to learn his word
And now he found himself bereft of skill.
Now left to his own, he took to the road
Seeking petty alms and a little goodwill.

Faith

2013-04-07T16:37:00.002-06:00

That by which a buzzing bee, with aplomb
Leaves early from its honey comb,
To find that one sweet nectar drop
As can fill its hive to the top.

That on which the arduous ant relies
As it scouts around with its allies,
To find a morsel or that one grain -
All it can get ere the big rain.

That by which each soul returns to its nest
As the day sets into the hazy west,
To rest and rise up bright to another day
As more alearned one than it was today.

That faith in myself that I can so strive,
That faith in others that we'd together survive,
That faith in fate that I'd once again rise,
Faith is all I ask for, Bless me be wise!

Enemy within

2013-04-07T16:35:00.004-06:00

You shroud my thoughts in such darkness
And fill that void with such emptiness,
I lose my way wandering in this nothingness.
My Enemy within - you Lethargy, o you Unwillingness,
Leave me alone, Let me my thoughts harness.

Delayed

2013-04-05T05:27:00.001-06:00

My D is delayed. Swamped at the moment :(

Childhood

2013-04-04T05:19:00.000-06:00

To crawl out from bed in my dad's cosy arms
And be brushed and rushed to school each day
To brawl with my siblings, and play in the barn
And go riding my trike every Sunday.

To snuggle up each night next to my Mom,
As she reads me tales of fairies beyond
To feel her cuddle me, keep me warm
And hear her lullabies, her love abound.

To know what's so special about being a teen
To know about years eleven to thirteen
To feel that crush my sis talks about
To be able to take a friend out.

To eagerly wait for that day with my Dad
When we'd go to have fun fishing together,
To beat him at tennis as a grown up lad
And cheer him on when he plays another.

How I wish I were now in my little den
Counting to live up to a Ninety Two
How I wish I could just pretend,
That this dreaded day never happened too.

Belief

2013-04-02T23:53:00.001-06:00

I'll hold to my roots like that blade of grass as the winds of despair rush past me
I'll free my mind of "Me, Myself", I'll keep my ego small - as small as it can be.
I'll look boldly in the face of trouble and question its very existence
I'll be strong, I'll sail on, I'll sail on in the waves of turbulence.
I'll extend my thoughts to reach the far horizons, I'll ignite that zeal in me
I believe in my heart, I believe in my soul, I believe, I believe in me.

Agony

2013-04-01T01:54:00.003-06:00

"Would I see an Angel?", asks my child as I tuck her in gently tonight.
"Will the bells ring to welcome me?" she wonders,"will there be a Light?"
"Will the Heavens be as receiving, Would it be as good and real?"
"Would this pain end then? Tell me Dad dear, will all then be well?"

Her throat's choked with cancer cells, and her body's in despair,
She's been through so much pain, there's much agony in the air.
It sears my heart - the pain - as I see my little one so weep,
I wish the Lady Night spreads her calm; I wish there's finally some sleep.

I pray I find an answer tonight, and I pray my heart stay whole,
I search for peace in a painful present; I search deep within my soul.
I know no answers to her many questions, I know not Heaven's ways.
I know not whether Angels would come tonight to kiss her pretty face.

So as she lies there in her little bed, draped in sheets milk white,
And the lullabies from her bunny doll try fill the air tonight,
I whisper to her in the dark, "If the Heavens so wish, my daughter dear,
You will see the Angels bathe in Light, and as the bells toll, the pain disappear."

Letter to Santa

2010-12-05T07:36:00.000-07:00

Dearest Santa

Before you disqualify my letter based on age limits let me assure you I thought about it a lot.

I come from the era when kids did not have access to the advances in technology the world enjoys today. I am mostly assuming that your offices are up to date in embracing the latest tools to run office like say, exchange servers to send and receive mails at the least, and probably fax as well. You see these days a child does not have to worry about non-delivery of his mail because there is a very low possibility of the exchange servers like the giants of Google, or Yahoo failing to do their jobs. In my childhood the postal services were set in the manual mode. So while the postman that goes from door to door could have been a true hero, the system was still not as perfect. There were times mails got lost in transit, or got delivered very (and by that I mean very very) late. So when the technology arrived, we embraced it fast and ensured our kids do not end up with the same kind of troubles we had. Just in case you were wondering why you have so many emails this year and not letters stuck underneath the Xmas tree, that is the reason.

Why am I telling you all this? See, I know you are always inundated with requests from children across the world and with the ever growing population your staff might be a trifle challenged each year to keep up with the rate of increase. Yet, I am told you and your staff go to great lengths to ensure that every mail received is read and addressed. I remember I was fond of writing letters when I as very young but the whole concept of writing to you felt a bit awkward at first because I did not know you as much. Add to that the fact that everything I read about you said you would arrive through the chimney but my house did not have one. So I was not so very optimistic that you might choose to respond or even if you did, how would you come in right? That said, I think I did post a letter to you but I never heard back. Now that i think of it, i doubt it ever reached you. You see i used some scrap of paper that I found lying around, it might not have weathered your arctic cold well. That is if it really made beyond my local post office. There is a greater chance it might not have. So when my son ended up typing you a letter I felt i should just let you know that there is one pending from me as well and comes with "URGENT" marked all over it since it is long overdue.

I have grown through the years since i last sent you that mail, so the contents therein my be a bit outdated. I mean what is the point in asking you to give me a hand wound toy when every kid now enjoys a batter powered one? I sure do hope that you would give me some concession so I can re-do my list of requests. After having hit 5 and 30, and as a parent of two kids, I do realize that age is a limiting factor when it comes to carrying weight. You are so good at heart you never say 'No' to kids and want to hand deliver all gifts to place them under the tree, but I can understand. I will not add to that load. So here is my updated list (but my priority still stays, correct?):
1. Turn down the anxiety levels in every human mind to zero. I believe half the world's troubles are because mankind is so restless and impatient.
2. Let every heart know it is okay to be satisfied with what we have and that happiness multiplies when it is shared with others. Tell us that the key to happiness is not always hidden under money.
3. Help us help others everyday, everywhere, regardless of who they might be. Tell us that these boundaries do not matter to you and so should not matter to us when it comes to fulfilling other's wishes.
4. Help us educate ourselves to gain knowledge and not just degrees. Tell us of what you see out there so we realize we are acting like frogs in the well.
5. Last but not the least, check my son's letter and get him what he needs.

Now that I am using the latest technologies to get to you, I am positive you will get this note, and then if what the fairy tales say is true, you would definitely place me a note under the tree this time telling me of the status of the requests (my house has a chimney spout now).

Thank you.

Your friend
Sravan.

I, Me, Myself - the selfish me

2010-04-24T08:25:00.000-06:00

I, Me, Myself - Aarti's Mom put it so simply in words.

I never realized until today what agony my brother goes through each day trying to keep up with the world around him from the little that he is able to hear.

I was never around him when he went to his first tests or any of the later ones, nor when my Father and he went out to get a hearing aid. I never knew the kind of advancements that technology has brought about in this area with gadgets. I never realized the kind of detail that goes into creating or choosing the right gadget for a person. Today, when I was in that testing room with my brother and later when the doctor explained patiently the details of what is tested, why, and how they arrive at suggesting the right fit, I felt a deep pain within. Suddenly all those days and times when I almost vented out in desperation at my beloved brother not responding to a call, or needing a repetition of what was just spoken swarmed my thoughts to humble me enough, to make me realize how selfish I'd been in my thoughts all the while.

For 37 years of his life, brother passed on the need to use a hearing aid in both ears and limited himself to using a basic 1 channel model for his better ear. He used the basic model because during those days when he needed high end but costlier models our parents were investing the limited resources we had at hand towards my education. And, he never complained. Today, when the doctor marked a NR (No Result) for a frequency of sound brother could not detect (and will not be able to anymore), a tinge of pain shot through me. Brother's is a neurological condition whereby his hearing is impaired (since childhood) naturally. Just as my myopic condition deteriorates gradually so does his hearing. The rate at which my eye sight deteriorates is slowed down as I use my glasses dawn to dusk. And so does brother need his hearing aid and one that really suits his need. How foolish of me to not have realized that!

Nothing in my power's going to change what has passed by. I wish I realized it earlier but it is what it is. All I can do is help safeguard what is left. Whatever it takes of me.

Death! Who are you?

2009-12-06T03:35:00.002-07:00

మరణమా! ఎవరివోయి అసలు నీవు?
ఎవరిచ్చే ఆజ్ఞతోటి , ఎచటనుండి నీ రాక?
ఎవరినెప్పుడు ఎక్కడికి తీసుకెళ్లె నీ పోక?

కుళ్లు, కుట్రలతోటి అంతా కమిలిపోయిందిక్కడ
కారుకమ్మిన చీకట్లే మిగిలిపోయాయింకిక్కడ
కానీ ధైర్యంగా ఎదురీదుతూ బ్రతికేస్తున్నానిక్కడ
అందుకే, నాకు నేను ధైర్యశాలిననిపిస్తుంది
కానీ, నువ్వంటే నాకు భయమేమోననిపిస్తుంది.

ఎప్పుడో ఒకప్పుడు వస్తావని తెలుసెప్పుడు
నిన్ను దైవం పంపిస్తాడని అనిపించేటప్పుడు
ఏదో ఆశ తళుక్కుమని కనిపిస్తుందప్పుడు
ఇంతకంటే ప్రశాంతత ఎక్కడో ఉందనిపించినప్పుడు
నువ్వు నన్ను రమ్మన్నప్పుడు
గుర్తుంచుకో నీ గుండెల్లో -
కొద్దిపాటి కరుణంటూ నీకైనా అసలుంటే:

నువ్వెప్పుడు పిలిచినా , నేనప్పుడొస్తా, నదిసరే;
కనీసం అక్కడైనా ఇక నా మనసు
నెవరూ గాయపరచలేని, ఎవరూ నొప్పించలేని
స్థలమనేదేదైనా మిగిలుందేమో, మరి వెతుకు!

- Sravan (1943-2005) dt: 14-Jun-87

The one, the many

2009-12-06T03:31:00.003-07:00

మనసన్నదొకటి
భావాలు కోటి;
ప్రేమన్నదోకటి
రూపాలు కోటి;
లోకాలు చూపే
అందాల కన్ను
కనలేదు నిజము !
కదలాడె జగము!

- Sravan (1943-2005)

The wait

2009-12-06T03:19:00.004-07:00

గానమే ప్రాణమై మౌనమే ధ్యానమై
రాధ ఎన్నాళ్లుగా వేచెనో!

ఏ చల్లని గాలి మేనుతాకినా
ఏ పిల్లనగ్రోవి చేవిసోకినా,
గోపకిశోరుని గుసగుసలనుకొని -
మేనుపొంగ తిలకించునో!
ఆతడుకానరాక విలపించునో!!

ఈ కళ్లలో , ఈ గుండెల్లో
ఏనాటికైనా ఆనాటి బాధ
వెలలేని గురుతై నిలిచేనులే!

- Sravan (1943-2005) dt: 25-Jan-87

Self-sympathy

2009-12-06T02:53:00.003-07:00

కవిత, సంగీత కళాసరస్వతి
వెదజల్లే తన వెలుగుల్లో
విలసిల్లే తన హోయలల్లో
విరియగా నీలో విశ్రాంతి
కరుగును నవరస మణికాంతి.

- Sravan (1943-2005)

Life

2009-12-06T02:49:00.002-07:00

Life is a story in volumes three
The past, the present, and the yet to be -
The first is finished and bid away,
The second we are reading day by day,
The third and the last of the volumes three
Is locked up from sight - God keeps the key.

- Sravan (1943-2005)

Gift

2009-12-06T02:44:00.002-07:00

I have so little to give you
Nothing of silver and gold
But I have something to give you
That can't be bought or sold -
My friendship if you find it sweet,
My smile of greeting when we meet,
My tears to comfort you in pain,
My smile to cheer you up again.
My love today, my love tomorrow,
That which from nowhere I do borrow.

- Sravan (1943-2005)

ప్రకృతి!

2009-12-05T23:07:00.012-07:00

నాలో దాగున్న దైవమే నా నేస్తం
ఆ నేస్తానికి ఇదొక అభయహస్తం!
తనను తాక శక్తిలేని పుడమి తో కలవాలని
తనకుతానై ఒరిగే అంబరాన్ని అడుగు:
"ప్రేమం"టే ఏమిటో తెలుస్తుందేమో - వేచి చూడు!

చేతులు యెగాజాపి చేపట్టిన మ్రాను నడుగు
చిఱు కొమ్మ తన పళ్ళని నేలకేందుకు రాలుస్తుందో
"విశ్వాసం" అని అంటుందా? ఏమో విని చూడు!

చివరి ఊపిరి ఆగాక కూడా తనవాళ్ళని తనకోసం
వదిలి పోయిన చంద్రుడ్నడుగు, సూర్యుడు తనకేమిచ్చాడని;
"బాధ్యత" అనే సమాధానమిస్తుందా? చవి చూడు!

ఎండిపోయిన సెలయేటిలో ధారలుకురిపించే,
ఆకాశాన పయనించే మేఘాన్నడుగు అలా చేస్తుందెందుకని -
"సంస్కార"మంటుందేమో, ఒక్క సారి ఆగి చూడు!

అడవిలో ఉన్నా అరవక మానదు కోకిల తన ముక్త కంఠంతో,
ఎవరూ చూడడంలేదని మానదు విరిసి మురిపించే మల్లిక ;
ఎవరో చూడాలని నాట్యం చెయ్యదు పింఛం విప్పే నెమలి,
ఇతరుల కోసం గుబాళించదు కనువిప్పిన గులాబి.
ఎన్నో ఎన్నెన్నో ప్రకృతి మాత తనదిగా ఉంటాయి,
మనసులోని దైవాన్ని వెలికి తీస్తే రహస్యాలు తెలుస్తాయి.

"అహంబ్రహ్మాస్మి" అనేదానికర్ధం తెలియని
స్వార్ధం సొమ్ము చేసుకొనే "వేదాంతులు"; వింతలు
చూపించే మెట్టవేదాంతులు నిండిన ఈ కలికాలంలో
ఆకలిదే పెద్దపీటవేసుకున్న 'సన్నాసులు'గా, దైవం
తన సృష్హ్టిలోని దేనికన్నా అతీతంగా మనుసునిచ్చిన
మానవుడు అలా మారితే పాపం దైవమే నిట్టూర్చాడు
సగటు మనిషివి నువ్వెంతరా నేస్తం!
చప్పుడులేకుండా ఆ దైవానికి అంకితం అయిపో !
ఒక అంబరంలా, ఒక కొమ్మలా , ఒక చంద్రుడిలా , ఒక పువ్వులా!

- Sravan(1943-2005) dt:01.01.2004