musings on life thru my eyes

Is India Buying the Rafale fighter jets a scam?

2017-11-15T10:47:00.002-08:00

The Indian Air Force always boasted of a good fighting force as evident by performances at various war theatres and multinational exercises. But the IAF has been demanding for quite some time some fancy new aircrafts as the workhorse of the IAF have been the Russian fighters which are aging, to say the least. The Govt. of India has been largely apathetic to the calls for modernization as repeatedly we have shown a chutzpah for scams when it came to defense procurements.

But come 2008 and after many false starts the whole process started and it took another 4 years before Rafale from France won the contract satisfying the IAF and being the lowest bidder. But there was a catch. Once the Govt. started negotiating it was found the initial bid of ₹42 thousand crores also had a mention of some miscellaneous items for which extra money was supposed to be paid. Given the experience of the Govt. with the Scorpene submarine deal again with the French, the Govt. did become wary because in the former case the French put some critical components in that head which led to cost escalation to the tune of ₹2000 crores.

So, upon further digging the Govt. was quoted a price of approximately ₹90 thousand crores which is roughly double the initial quoted price. Though this final value can't be verified because the information is hazy and different values have been thrown about (15-20 billion USD). But for the sake of argument lets take a median value of 18 billion USD which would peg the cost of each aircraft at approximately 143 million USD. To put things in perspective the Sukhoi-30MK1 has a list price of 47 million USD each, the nearest competitor the Eurofighter typhoon is listed at 70 million USD each and the most expensive aircraft the F-35B is pegged at 135.6 million USD each. Mind you all these prices are minus the fancy armaments and radar and just accounts for the no-frills fighter aircraft. So it does feel like the French did pull a fast one on the Indian authorities and must have exploited a loophole in the tender document to get the lowest bid in to win the contract. Do I smell corruption? Yes, maybe? I really don't have access to the information to conclusively say so.

Then there was news about how the French were playing hardball about manufacturing the fighters in India with the state-run Hindustan Aeronautics Limited (HAL). The initial plan was to buy 18 aircrafts directly from France and the rest 108 would be manufactured in India but news started emerging that the French didn't want to guarantee the planes manufactured in India which further delayed the negotiations further. Then came the NDA govt. and with Manohar Parikkar as the Defense Minister. It was hoped that a highly educated Defense minister would do wonders for the procurement process and make it faster in general. The minister turned out to be a loose cannon and kept dropping figures in the public domain as if they were hot potatoes. But then on a visit to France the PM made an announcement of a Govt. to Govt. deal which cut through the red tape and made the process fast. The announced deal was for 36 Rafale jets at a price of 9.294 billion USD which pegs the cost of each aircraft at 258 million USD.

The Govt. parrotted the line that the price has been brought down from 18 billion USD to around 8 billion USD( I am quoting the median cost I had assumed rather than the cost quoted by the Govt. which is 12 billion USD.). In the meanwhile, Egypt had placed an order for 24 jets at a price of 5.9 billion USD (245 million USD per jet) which works out to be more expensive than the Indian deal ( Keeping in account the more technology transfer costs and inflation over the years). The govt. did put out statements regarding the higher per unit cost of the aircraft and attributed the increase due to better customization of the aircraft, better weapon systems and more technologies being transferred as opposed to the earlier deal.

Now that I have kind-off summarized the whole deal I will pen down my thoughts. Even if I assumed that the price of the deal to acquire 126 jets would have been 20 billion USD wouldn't it have a better deal? Because the majority of the order would have been manufactured in India which would have led to employment generation and tax generation for the Govt. which in this case has been lost entirely. In the end not only we ended up paying more for fewer aircrafts but also lost on a substantial revenue. Also now the components for maintenance have to be sourced either from France or from the newly minted J-V between Dassault Aviation and Reliance Defence which does which may point towards some sort of lobbying (nay bribes). The sad part is the people suffering is the armed forces with the politicians' well-playing politics over silly gains. When the defense minister of the country says he can't get something for the armed forces because it is too expensive doesn't really inspire any confidence. Secondly I really never understood why the Govts. are so secretive about making the details of such deals public. I don't think that there is too much-classified info in there. The NDA govt would like us to believe that ordering 36 jets saved us tonnes of money but what about the 90 odd aircrafts we are short off and endangering our pilots by making them fly the vintage MiG's which were bought in the 80's?

Oh here are some of the articles I used while writing this.:

1: https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/How-Narendra-Modi-reworked-Rafale-deal-and-why-its-a-winner/articleshow/46892688.cms
2: http://www.rediff.com/news/report/the-miscellaneous-blunder-in-indias-rafale-deal/20140916.htm
3: http://www.thehindu.com/specials/in-depth/All-you-need-to-know-about-the-Rafale-deal/article14243993.ece
4: https://www.newslaundry.com/2016/05/02/scams-are-an-indian-tradition
5: http://www.opindia.com/2016/09/rafale-deal-is-it-really-an-exorbitant-deal-as-claimed-by-experts/
6: http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/India-France-ink-%E2%82%AC7.87-billion-agreement-for-36-Rafales/article14995775.ece
7: http://www.firstpost.com/world/rafale-deal-confirmed-an-overview-of-its-history-and-what-this-means-for-india-3014872.html

Indigo trying to buy Air India!Does it make sense?

2017-06-30T08:37:00.001-07:00

The Govt. of India recently decided to privatize the state-run airline: Air India. In its heydays, Air India with its mascot of Maharajah was known for luxury and opulence. But with the advent of economic liberalization, a bevy of airlines invaded the Indian airspace. All of a sudden the state-run behemoth was caught napping and was too heavy to compete with the nimble competitors. The Govt, didn't help by running the business in a way Govt, departments are run and poorly equipped bureaucrats kept running the show, The ministers aided to the demise of the airline by making wrong decisions again and again.

So after more than 10 billion dollars of taxpayers money being wasted, the govt finally realized that it has no business of running a business, The owners of Air India before nationalization were tipped to be in the reckoning to buy back. And then the cat was set among the pigeons and India's biggest success story in the airline space, Indigo decided to enter the fray. Indigo is a new age airline which adhered to the low-cost model and reaped in huge profits in a business area where most Indian airline companies were bleeding money. No wonder they have grown to be the largest airline in India despite facing significant regulatory challenges by our Govt.

The media is kind off speculating has the David really have the capability to devour the Goliath? The jury is still out and despite my limited financial knowledge, I believe it might be a good choice for Indigo. Well, first thing why it makes a good investment is that like the Gulf-based carriers India can effectively implement the hubs and spoke model for international air travel. Secondly, with the laptop ban in place for middle-east based airlines India has the perfect potential to attract the business customers who are desperate to be connected at all times. This US travel ban has really opened up the international market and the presence of wide-bodied long-haul aircraft in the Air-India roster gives Indigo the perfect recipe to replicate the model of middle-eastern based airline companies.

The potential is endless and India which missed the bus with respect to becoming a hub for international travel has been got a good opportunity.

A new scam in West Bengal , real estate is the new Saradha!!

2017-06-27T03:22:00.000-07:00

Recently my Father-in-law called me. He was planning to buy a flat in Kolkata and a particular development was coming out on the outskirts of New Town called the Dharitri Urbania. I looked up the website and behold I was transported to a modern city with open spaces, rooftop gardens and various academies run by celebrities like a cricket academy mentored by Darren Lehmann (http://dharitri-infra.com/blog.html ). And did I mention the prices? Well, they were eye-poppingly affordable like 11.50 lakhs for 2BHK apartments and 7 lakhs for 1 BHK apartments. In this period of literally unaffordable houses, this was too good to be true. Though this was a pre-launch offer and being endorsed by famous Bengali film actor Jeet everything looked perfect. I leave you with the sights from the project.

Dharitri Universia(Source: http://dharitri-infra.com/)

Then I went and checked some reviews on common floor .com and here take a look at the first screenshot.

Screenshot of reviews from MouthShut.com

If you read the first review and you will be impressed how much the buyer has loved his investments with a plethora of amenities and a swimming pool with people spending quality time there. I have another screenshot of comments from the same site and here it goes.

Screenshot of reviews from MouthShut.com

And a line from the review caught my eye and I quote "The Bungalow is pretty spacious and the car parking space along with the garden gives a feeling of residing in a dream house.". All good great reviews and a perfect project to invest in Right? Wrong. Because then my Father-in-Law burst the bubble. He had been to the site and it was basically kind of agricultural land with no sign of any construction activity. No sample flats, no demarcation of the land just a few tables and umbrellas with staff from the company. Now I think it's time to look further and I checked with another site the indianrealestateforum.com . And what I came across were not too good reviews and people asking pretty basic but uncomfortable questions. And lo behold somebody from the company replied but instead of addressing the concerns started threatening them. It became very clear to me that they were paid reviews. Every good review had dwelt on the fact how great the project was and it fulfilled their dreams but in reality, there was not a single brick even put in place.

I looked up the Govt. of India Site for corporate affairs about the company and was surprised to find the company has a paid-up capital of just 5 lakhs and an authorized capital of 10 lakhs (Please refer to the document). And again when I try to check the land record and for project approval details I get no response other than visit our offices for details when a simple project approval number would have sufficed. The project approval number is issued by the Govt which basically means that the project has been approved by the Govt. I wonder is the state Govt of Trinamool Congress hand-in-hand with the developers and turning a blind eye to the scam? Because I was informed they are putting up huge billboards and big advertisements in newspapers. I would request the buyers to be careful before giving them any money and the state Govt to look into the issue so no ordinary citizen is duped of their hard earned money.

My review of the return of 'THE' Arnab Goswami and Republic World tv

2017-05-11T11:11:00.000-07:00

So the moment we have been waiting (dreading) for has finally arrived. The quiet TV screens at our homes have sputtered with life since Arnab is back. The sound despite being zero is blasting throughout the house and the voice who says missed being in our living room is back. So the great nationalist, patriot, anti-corruption crusader and the ultimate anti-establishment man is back. And to be fair he started off with a bang. I will address 3 major stories which he has covered in the last 4 days.

The first story which he broke was some tapes of conversation between the RJD chief Lalu Prasad Yadav and jailed Bihar strongman Shahabuddin. Well the tapes were pretty boring and just reinforced the fact that how Bihar is run more by influence of criminals rather than by law. All the mainstream media news channels as well as print media chose to ignore the story and confined them to inner pages of newspapers. Despite Arnab being not in good books of other media personalities this story needed to be picked up and debetd by other channels. On the other hand Arnab went on and on that how Shahbuddin is controlling the Govt. via Lalu and criminals are running the show. The debate was all black and white and focussed on how helpless Nitish Kumar, the Bihar CM is. One of the most pertinent questions which the debate failed to address was not about a criminal running the show but rather abuse of power. How a jailed politician has access to a phone? Second the report failed to highlight was that Shahabuddin demanded the SP to be controlled or reprimanded but there was no follow-up by the channel to check if actually the order was carried out? There was no sound bytes from the police (even anonymous). So the debates were loud (sic!) and very harsh on the ears and as a result the real issues were lost in the din.

The second story which I came across was the Sunanda Pushkar murder. Sunanda Pushkar was the wife of then external affairs minister of India Dr. Shashi Tharoor. It was some tapes of a reporter from now with republic (the Arnab Channel) who spoke to Sunanda before she died apparently due to natural causes. While the whole death story was murky from the start with quite a few people believing it to be murder and immense use of political butchery to keep the case least controversial. But anyways Arnab thought it to be a story worth exposing and showing us the levels of power abuse by politicians. And during the loud debate one of the funniest incidents happened. There was a guy named Rahul Eshwar who said the following words in response to a question by Arnab about why the body of Mrs Pushkar moved from room 307 to room 345 as she was in room 307 and her body was found in 345(I hope i get the details correct)? And I quote "No Arnab , She changed rooms on 16th and she died on 17th so nobody moved her ". And the mighty god responded by saying "Stop lying Rahul Eshwar. Your lie has been caught. she cchecked into room no 307 and changed rooms on 16th to room 345 and she was found dead on 17th.". And as it goes I almost died laughing. Anyways arnab thought the news to be so important that he stationed not one but 3 reporters next to Shashi Tharoor's house reporting on which car left the house or what was he wearing when he left the house turning the whole thing into a media circus.

The third story was the killing of an Indian army officer Ummer fayaz who was visiting his home for a marriage in Kashmir. And as usual the politicians got into action starting the games they play so well. one of the comments which stood out was made by Akhilesh Yadav, the ex-CM of UP where he said how come no soldier from the PM's home state is never killed? This was a highly insensitive comment and goes against the ethoes of the armed forces. When you serve in armed forces you lose all identities except your country. With that aside our Arnab decided to run a full decibel campaign against the leader and his stupid statement which warranted no coverage at all. But he is a nationalist and how dare a politician insult our soldier. Right? Wrong. He would have done a great service to ask the Govt. of the day that how come the situation has been allowed to spiral so badly out of control in Kashmir that a an off-duty soldier is kidnapped by terrorists and killed? Mind you he wasn't killed while on-duty but while home for a marriage. Sad commentary that the Kashmir valley has become so unsafe. The questions by the media should have been why the Govt. of the day is proving to be ineffectual? And going by the 'nationalist' urges of people like Arnab well the thought of unleashing the army on its own people rather the 'traitors' is the best option. Since they don't care about human rights and neither should we because we have the power and powerful are allowed to kill and in the crossfire if a few innocents are killed that is okay because what better cause to die than for your country.. Man that thought would be giving Orgasms to the nationalists in our country.

The death of logic in Indian democracy

2017-03-01T04:01:00.001-08:00

As a nation we take pride in our freedom and the tag world's biggest democracy. Hell we have survived 70 odd years with all the diversity which can put a continent to shame ( Case in point Europe was the melting pot for world wars). But sadly with the advent of social media we have plumbed the depths which we thought can't be reached. Social media gave a voice to one and all. We as a society felt no matter how small we will make our voice heard and if you posted the right things the media people would pick it up and make you the hero and villain at the same time.

The latest storm to hit India was stirred by none other than a 20 year old girl, Gurmehar Kaur, who lost her father to a war caused by the misadventures of Pakistan. Till now all good and now she featured in a video in which she is seen holding placards amongst which is one which caused the maximum controversy and it read ' Pakistan Didn't kill my dada but war did' The other people jumped in against her put up their defenses by saying that since she dared to post he thoughts she should be prepared from the backlash who didn't like her post, fair enough Right. No this is the modern worl and all hell broke loose. People started calling her names and even questioned her credentials and said she should denounce her father's pension and awards , threatened with rape and what not. She literally was being trolled. Oh I forgot the context It was an event at Ramjas college where Kanhaiya kumar of the now famous for the first national/anti-national skirmish exactly a year back was invited to speak. The nationalist ABVP took it upon themselves to make sure that this time no anti-India slogans are raised and decided to gatecrash the party and have a healthy fight to safeguard our nation against the anti-national forces.

This my friend wasn't the real story some celebs jumped in and tweeted but without tagging her which was also fair and they put in their opinion but lo behold our graceful media, the so-called fourth pillar of democracy, they linked up everything and started the age old debate about freedom , liberalism and the war against right wing activists. Virender Sehwag tweeted out a pic which to me was pretty harmless way of taking a jibe at the 20 year old but no our media had to hype it up. Randeep Hooda jumped in and i was like OK and then the wrestler yogeshwar Dutt frankly tweeted out a whatsapp forward which was sarcastic, funny and quite healthy I would say in isolation. But then the celebs without the exception of Sehwag started adding context to the jibes and our media lapped it up and built it into a fire.

The story is yet to end. The left leaning liberals were frothing at their mouths by the audacity of the right leaning pro-govt forces and they bought out the heavy artillery. The celebs joined in and they as usual started tweeting in a more uncouth manner. It became the story of' Who can be the filthiest of all?'. Javed akhtar derided the sports-persons as uneducated while a reporter from a news organization i like Akash Bannerjee questioned the actor Randeep Hooda because he acted with 'Bimbettes'. The name calling kept on going from both the sides with bwoyblunder, bhaksala , union minister Karen Riiju leading the charge from the right while major media organizations like NDTV etc took the mantle from the left.

It saddens me that debate has fallen to name calling and discrediting individuals. Even U.S.A with President Donald Trump hasn't resorted to calling anyone (Read 80%) of the population opposing him anti-nationals but here in india the line has become very clear that if you speak against the govt you are anti-national. That tells us a story we can claim to be the biggest democracy but we aren't the BEST democracy .By the way the 20 year old girl I was talking about she has withdrawn from the campaign against war in general as she has been quite traumatised by the events as @bwoyblunder on twitter put it 'Acts vulnerable and played the victim ', I believe the girl in question just put a thought where she wanted nobody else to ever lose a near and dear one and grow up without a parent. Wars are human creation and nationalisties again are a human creation. When the girl says war killed her father she just meant let there be peace and resolve all our disputes, The disputes are nothing but a result of human greed and the lack of intiative to solve the problem because that's what keeps our politicians going so that they can exploit it in elections after elections and fooling us 'THEPEOPLE' in the name of nationalism.

The war within -Am I a patriot or anti-national?

2016-10-17T06:54:00.000-07:00

Recently whole of India was abuzz with the news that the Indian Army had conducted surgical strikes in the Pakistan Occupied Kashmir (POK). While Indians were very proud of the action taken by the Indian Army soon the politicians started doing what they do the best. : start politicizing. While the opposition took Pakistan's denial on face value which they failed to recognize that any sovereign country would deny any action by a enemy country on territory under their control and while our defense minister resorted to some chest thumping that this was a morale booster for the army and now they have discovered their capabilities (Just a Coincidence both the person questioning the action and chest thumping are IIT alumni) . But we should take a moment and bask in the fact that we did take some action which may not be the first one but nevertheless path breaking because we dared to claim up the credit for the same without the fear of repurcussion.

Once the political leaders bought the whole action into question the media swung into action of declaring patriots and anti-nationals and TV debate revolved just around these 2 narratives. ON the one hand we had the jingoistic Arnab Goswami and on the other hand we had the liberal brigade led by Barkha Dutt, Rajdeep Sardesai and their elk. The liberals cleverly put the shroud of opposition politicians led by the AAP to take potshots at the army while the Govt and their supporters led to a social media campaign where Barkha Dutt wass targeted relentlessly by stating things like Barkha Dutt gave away Indian positions during Kargil war which benefited the enemy troops. I found the accusations against Barkha Dutt to be funny because Army wouldn't allow anyone near the operational area no matter what which the bhakts missed out. Barkha Dutt anyways got her name tarnished when she figured in the Radia tapes which despite her claiming to be innocent doesn't do much for her image. If she and her ilk continue to question Narendra Modi about the Gujarat riots despite nothing being proved in court just like her case. So this hypocrisy in media should stop .Anyways I digress from my point.

So one narrative started as if we question the govt of the day we are anti-national. This narrative is so much flawed because criticism is the only thing which keeps the democracy in check and prevents dictators to take hold. There is a very thin line separating being decisive and being a dictator. Even during the Sino-India war in 1962 parliament was convened and the opposition led by Shri Atal Behari Vajpayee tore into the Nehru Govt. and despite severe criticism in the midst of the war the govt. never censured the media or parry around the term anti-national like it is being done nowadays. But again the criticism has also been about the govt of the day claiming credit which is frankly not wrong. The Armed Forces of India is firmly under the control of the civilian Govt. and without an explicit go ahead from the Govt in power they wouldn't carry out any strikes. So the govt. has to be applauded for being decisive and calling the nuclear bluff of Pakistan. Even Indira Gandhi was termed as Durga after the 1971 Indo-Pak war which resulted in liberation of Bangladesh.

Also another way of claiming patriotism is making the Pakistani artists in India to condemn the URI attacks and make statement against their own Govt. Also there was a call for boycott of Indian Artistes. I have a problem with this narrative and demand on two levels. Firstly when we ask the Pakistani artists to condemn the URI attack, we are asking them to make statement against their own country and Govt. Someone might ask yes what's wrong in that but we forget despite eartheir living in India they have their families back in Pakistan . Would the Indian Govt bring them all over to India and resettle them or guarantee their security? The Pakistani Govt can condemn attacks perpertrated by ISIS or Taliban because that doesn't threaten their families in any way as the Pakistani Govt is also against them but when they condemn URI attack which has a significant Pakistani hand ,they would be opening up their families to risks which might not be worth the criticism. Also if the the Pakistani artistes need to be banned it should be done by the Govt of India and not by directors or producers because as a businessmen they would recruit artists who would give maximum returns and expecting them to be patriotic and fire all Pakistani artistes is wrong. They are being patriotic in their own way by generating revenues for the Indian economy and just not filling their own pockets.

And now to both Bhakts and liberals of our country ,I put up a question? Did any of you ever question why does the army chief is paid less than the civil servants like the cabinet secretary? Did you ever ask the question why do our soldiers in border areas and the terrorist areas are paid less hazard pay than an IAS officer in a Naxal or dacoit infested area? Does anybody care what the One Rank One Pension Scheme which the armed Forces veterans were fighting for was really about? Did the so-called patriots and the anti-nationals who can protest against the jessica lal murder case or building a 1800 cr flyover in bangalore decided to show solidarity with the issues of armed forces personnel? Its very easy for a Arnab Goswami to sit in the studio and call for war because now he has govt security too but the soldier will take the bullets and not him. The soldiers who dies in URI or Pampore is not only due to terrorism but also due to the apathy of our public and politicians. The media which talks about nationalism also forgets to cover the North-east where a athlete has to return a expensive car received as a prize due to bad roads. The media fails to chronicle the problems and lack of development in the Northeast. The same media gives prime time to Sheena bora murder case which I presume what the Patriotic Indian cares for. The same media also forgets to note while the olympic medallists are getting prizes and felicitated while the Paralympic medallists are simply ignored and have hardly got any prizes. This is my new India and the definition of Nationalism. Be loud, be heard and nothing else matters.

Adios

The media wars...The so called pseudo liberals and the so called ultra nationalists

2016-07-29T05:46:00.001-07:00

I have been waking upto news articles about the Kashmir issue and how our media has responded to it. One one end of the spectrum is the Times now, 9x , zee news among others which have become the face of nationalism. The news peddled by them has been pretty much ultra nationalistic bordering on extreme right i.e loud , brash and trying to portray everything as lack and white with no scope for grey areas. While this would have been nice if we had been in a war where there is no scope for being grey because you are actually fighting for the country. And then one day a fine oxford educated gentleman decides to call out all the pseudo liberals and anti-national elements and without naming them calls them to be prosecuted and media's freedom be gagged. Well to say the least, he didn't realised when govt starts gagging the media they will do do with impunity and even he won't be able to escape the same but then he is the Arnab Goswami.

Then came the repartee from none other than the flag bearer of the pseudo liberals, Ms Barkha Dutt. She went all out blasting Arnab for his diatribe against the liberal media at large.She also went the same way as Arnab Goswami trying to instill fear into the minds of people by saying India should be scared and Arnab doesn't scare her. Well Now step back for a second and imagine what she actually said. That people have to be now scared of journalist is it? Hell no Yes they play a very important role in shaping people's opinion but in no way we are that immature that we will get carried away by some loudmouths on TV extorting us to rise up against the anti-nationals. Barkha dear you are on the wrong side and you just gave a stick to everyone to beat you up with. Is she right? well partly but her approach was wrong.

The problem here is the media has divided itself so sharply that they fail to notice that they have become politicians themselves. They are cat-calling and abusing each other but fail to understand that in any democracy there will be contradicting views and that's a sign of good democracy. Just because the media at different spectrum of the political sides essentially doesn't mean one has to be wrong. And yes reporters like Barkha Dutt or Vir Singvi haven't exactly covered themselves in glory by being involved in facilitating political deals which no matter how much they deny. They were caught and they were not adequately held accountable for the same.

Secondly why this debaye came about , we need to understand that. It is the kashmir issue which started with the killing of terrorist Burhan wani and the narrative slowly changed to use of pellet guns on people and how differently they have been treated by the govt .The narrative was if there is a a protest in Any other part of India there would be less use of force while in Kashmir they are being shot, lathicharged ,blinded by pellet guns and what not while In Delhi well water cannons and maybe lathi charge is used. Just to debunk this particular narrative I would say it depends on the threat perception by the security forces . As a case in point we just need to revisit the mathura 2016 riots sparked by the Swadhin Bharat Vidhik Satyagrah group whole they were being evicted. People did get killed and the police shot at the protesters. So now that theory is debunked so yes the security forces have been guilty of using excessive forces at times but their fears aren't unfounded since they are the people who have faced bombs, bullets and stones from the protestors.

Now the third point I want to make is is Kasmir problem a home made phenomena? Well the answer isn't as straightforward as Mr Goswami would like us to believe. THe thing is it's not possible to get protesters no matter who finances and supports the movement if there is no local support. Yes the things are planned across the border but there is a underlying simmering discintent which gets lighted every time somebody triggers it. And another thing that we need to observe is these kashmiri protests are pretty much limited to urban areas as compared to the rural areas. It's the educated youth and the older separatists who are driving the movement and of course they are getting support from a third party. let ot be moral support or, weapons or other stuff. So the problem isn't simple as merely stopping the funding flow from across the border but winning over the people which has been the biggest failure of our country's political system.

So in this war between the ultra right and ultra left the lines between politicians and journalists has completely blurred. It has become ugly and the youth of our nation have become so polarised by the media coverage its more like if you are against us we will brand you as a anti-national or something else. And i can safely say our democracy is pretty mature that when the elections come they won't care who is anti-national or leftist or anything. They will give vote to the party which promises them food three times a day, an ability to have a house and living safely.

The burning Kahmir...The lost paradise!!!!!

2016-07-12T07:30:00.001-07:00

Kashmir has been burning literally. This time it's the killing of the terrorist Burhan Wani. I am saddened by the loss of a 22 year old but at the same time happy that an enemy of the state has been eliminated. Media has been full of news and the protests have killed around 30 people till now. The media has been guilty to say the least of stoking fires. Be it the right, left or the center everybody's statements were highlighted and people were branded either patriots or traitors. A part of media helped create a larger than life persona of the slain soul while the other part which is trying to demonize the same person and thereby aiding the earlier narrative of the media sympathetic to the dead man.

But the question is the problem so simple that we can view it through a glass of black and white with no grey areas? As the discourse goes it's not that simple. This is a problem being brewed for the last 65 years or so. Yes its wrong to romanticize him but at the same time giving him the coverage disproportionate to his stature actually elevated him to the headlines that he never dreamt of while being alive. The armed forces have done a brilliant job but at the same time all the chest thumping not necessarily by them but the online trolls and the supporters have made things worse. A sign of a winner is that he is acknowledged even by the loser. Here the Indian state is the loser as the alienation of Kashmir continues. Some parts of the media have been quick to term the killing as extra-judicial. I agree that media has every right to claim to question the circumstances of the killing but what pains me is that the same people aren't uttering a single word that a mob killed a policeman on duty by pushing his car into a flowing river, I have just one question that why the media fails to report the stories where the armed forces despite being provoked and pelted with stones show immense restraint when dealing with such mobs? Whenever the armed forces do something and may it be legal or illegal media is ready to jump into the discussion and question the motives. The same media fails to aptly highlight the atrocities being carried out by the militants or doesn't talk about the human rights abuses being carried out by the so called freedom fighters? Doesn't the armed force personnel of our country have no rights? They also leave their families and go out everyday to their duty and pray to god that they do come back in one piece after a day's work?

I have friends who see the whole problem as a religious thing and the driving away of the Kashmiri pandits from the valley reinforces the divide along the religious lines . We have to admit that yes religion has a major role in this conflict and some bridges had been burnt by communities. While one claims the right to revenge the other claims years of oppression as the reason. Who is right is hard to justify but why is it that harmony can't prevail scares me. religion was never meant to divide people . It was always supposed to be a pillar , a support where a person could seek solace in times of happiness as well as strife. It was never meant to be a battle where "my religion is better than yours". Let the religious debates stop because its hurting us. Just to end this with a quote i read somewhere " The man and God met each other in heaven and both exclaimed Finally I met my creator"

The war between left-liberals and the right liberals

2016-02-21T14:20:00.001-08:00

The JNU case erupted on the national imagination like no other. Some video clips came out of the campus showing students slogans like ' Bharat ki Barbaadi', 'Hindustan Murdabad', 'afzal hum tumhare saath hai' and what not. A certain news channel anchor who claims to speak for the nation (Well its apparently what he wants to say) played the clips on and on and branded the students worse than terrorists. To be frank after watching the videos I was also sad but not to the extent of branding them 'Anti-national'. This started off the next big battle between the so-called left leaning liberals and the right-leaning liberals (Nobody wanted themselves to be termed extremists). This set up the stage for the next phase of the war and the battlefield was the social media.

Before I start commenting on the war I would like to say one thing about the protesting students. They organizers might not have shouted the anti-india slogans or the pro-Afzal slogans. They might be against the death sentence . But they should have admitted that 'lionising Afzal Guru' who got a more than fair trial in the Indian courts and tried avoiding the death sentence by exploring all avenues of the judicial process was wrong. In the process they set out with no/incomplete knowledge about the whole issue to question the judiciary . They failed to recognize if our judiciary had been biased the trial wouldn't have lasted for 10 years. Anyways the students could have admitted that some fringe elements in the crowds did shout slogans which wasn't the objective of the protests and apologized. But young blood seldom sees any reason when they think they are right and all reason went to the bin and they jumped right up to again defend Afzal Guru. So as innocent they might have been they just lost the whole perception battle just here and a situation which could have been controlled just continued spiraling out of control.

Now comes the offensive launched by the 'right-liberal' crowd.Some of the nationalist guardians decided the law of the land isn't good enough and tried beating up the arrested student leaders and some journalists. This didn't happen once but twice. The lawyer who led the mob was felicitated and this incident brought a divide in the narrative. Earlier when about most of the people who had spoke up against the students started having their doubts and deserted the right-liberal camp. These were the very people who change their votes in every election hoping for a better India but who are ducated enough to have a view of their own. The 'left-liberals' got hold of this opportunity and took no time to brand the 'right-liberals' anti-national and claimed a threat to freedom itself. And this set up the battleground for the next phase.

We are now in the third phase of the saga where both the groups have dug into trenches and bombarding each other with claims and counter-claims. In the process many friendships turned sour, many people whom we deemed as good turned out to be far more abrasive than ever imagined. People started calling each other names and both the groups became the vanguards of freedom & nationalism in their own perceived ways. In this din many journalists on either side of the debate started writing open letters to 'god knows who'. These people who couldn't talk to each other now used the social media to voice their disapproval using snide remarks in these letters. None of them were brave enough to call each other by name so that tells us how brave they are.

In all this din everyone forgot what was the reason we were arguing for? It's not a war in the first place . The branding by both groups was bad enough but they failed to realize our democracy which prides itself in freedom of speech was being abused by both the groups when the name calling started. Freedom means the ability to voice the opinion without the fear of being branded 'anti-national'.In a mature democracy both the voices can and should co-exist but minus the the high-voltage bitterness because I believe both the sides want the country to be great just by following different methods. But what did we do with our freedom? Well we call each other names, abuse each other and at times make a lynch mob and beat up the opposite view holders. And our media the so-called fourth pillar of democracy has to be blamed equally for the situation.

Reporters suddenly became opinion makers and started presenting opinions reaching millions of apeople when their job was to present the news in a objective manner and let the public make their opinions. Suddenly the reporters were stars because people found someone to make opinions for them and the shrillest and the loudest were made heroes because the public was also frustrated with the system but never found a voice which echoed their sentiments so strongly. We felt the louder the voice more clear is the signal to the government that we are not mute spectators. But we the public forgot heroes are not gods and every word they say is not the gospel of truth. None of the media houses in India can claim to be unbiased. Times now till a few days back was the darling of the crowd because it asked uncomfortable questions to the govt, never mind we never got the answers. Other channels tried following the same pattern but they couldn't match up to Arnab Goswami. I don't believe he is pro-govt but what he created was the lynch mob mentality and what he deems right is the holy grail. Other channels woke up to the threat and in a way to reclaim lost ground tried to unite against him and other pro-govt media houses but they forgot one important thing. They themselves were biased which led to the rise of Arnab goswami because he came as a whiff of fresh air to the Indian public.

I have written quite a lot most of the stuff is unstructured but that is the state of my mind with all the chaos going around. I have been branded anti-national many times by the right-liberals but so far have managed to keep the bitterness out from my narratives. So the key takeaways would be:

The media needs to clean up its act and start 'Reporting news ' and not 'Opinions'
The students need to apologize simply to gain the higher moral ground. Students would be forgiven as I am sure many of us in our youth would have done things not worthy of mentions.
The Universities should lay down guidelines on speech making as I believe a educational institution is no place for political battles.
The govt needs to look at the archaic sedition law and debate in parliament if it needs to even exist. And get to work if you work every dissenting voice will die down if we get even half of the things promised
And lastly real work needs no advertisement. If the economy is doing well we will vote for the same party again because we will be well off. No matter how much fake/real facts are put out in the social media it wouldn't work but only help in polarizing opinions.

This is not the last word and many more blog posts might come-up now that the situation is evolving rapidly.

The day my Jethima left

2014-08-08T08:16:00.000-07:00

Today my Jethima died after being in the hospital ICU For the better part of last month. She was a fighter , not the superheroes of comics and movies but a real life superhero. She worked throughout her life, fed her kid, fed her husband, went to office but never complained for a day. She killed her wishes so she could save for a rainy day and give her child the best possible education. She was a superhero to me because she hid me in her pallu whenever my dada scolded me. She fed me on her lap when I was angry or sad. She gifted me my first bicycle. She loved me more than maybe my mom at times. She bought me gifts and clothes without once thinking about the price and without worrying for her budget. She just needed a small nudge that what I like and she will make it for me no matter how old she became.

Oh yes she was a superhero, she fought against cancer and won the battle but it left her broken. She called me to run her errands instead of her son. My Jethu died just a year back and that seemed to have seeped the last bit of will in her to live anymore. I never wrote about my Jethu and today I feel guilty that he also was my superhero who never got my acknowledgment. These superheroes never had any relation of blood with me or our family. It was a relation forged out of love in the age where relations were for a lifetime and didn't depend on whatsapp or internet.

It was the year 1984 my mom a newly married girl came as a tenant in R K Puram in delhi in the house of Mr and Mrs Mazumder. The first question they asked "Do you want to live as a tenant or as our brother?" My dad said "As a brother" . And that started a lifelong journey of love and friendship . I was born and grew up in their arms. My mom was petrified of changing my nappies which my jethu jethima did. They took me out, bought me toys basically did whatever a caring parent would do. Jethima made wonderful 'payes' and pudding which i can never forget. When I was a small kid i was adamant on buying a bicycle which my dad at that time couldn't afford but they stepped right in bought me the best cycle then . When my dad or mom would scold me I would run to jethima or jrthu. My Jethu was a tough man who scared his son but when it came to me well...what to say he was the softest of souls. And in the last 2 years I lost them forever. THe people I have treasured my grandparents and now my jethu jethima all left me before they got to see what their Santu has been able to do, what he will do. I will never be able to go to them and tell them I am a doctor, all your love hasn't been wasted. I will get married but i will have such a big space left that all the festivities would seem hollow. I am an atheist but I have always believed them to have watched over me. At my loneliest of times I have had to look up and seen my grandma and grandpa smiling from above telling me Santu we are always with you. Jethima just joined the league and I hate myself that I wasn't there when she breathed her last. I feel so helpless that despite my education and all that jazz in biology i have never been able to help anyone I love That's my curse.

2014... The year of paradigm shifts in Indian Politics

2014-01-21T07:57:00.001-08:00

The year started off with a bang literally in the national Capital. A hitherto unheralded party with common people in the helm whipped some established political parties and form the govt. An achievement which shook the very foundations of politics. After AAPhas come into the political picture it has literally has hijacked the media discourse pushing a certain Mr. Modi out of the national news.

Despite Mr Modi and his supporters trying to get back into the media headlines have till now miserably failed to do so. His supporters have resorted to massive online campaign online wherein they are highlighting every mis-step , no matter how big or small , by the nascent AAP govt at Delhi. They want all the promises made by AAP to be fulfilled within a month of coming to power and at times are comparing the efficiency of the govt to the Gujarat govt. What they forget that whatever AAP has done in 1.5 months in power has been unprecedented. Also for rest of the promises they will take a little time but apparently my friends in both BJP and Congress don't have the patience to wait. They both ran the country in the last 64 odd years with congress doing majority of the governance but still neither of them delivering at the speed what AAP is doing. Anyways they are praying hard that the AAP fails and then they can regain the smirk and tell the voters like us' We told you so'. Anyways I do hope AAP has partially achieved what it set out to do that to kick some political arses and get them out of their slumber and not to take the voters for granted. AAP for the first time gave the common man in india a chance to actually enter politics and do something being part of the system. Hopefully AAP does manage to give a scare in a few more states and in the Lok sabha elections and then the paradigm shift which I was talking about would be starting to happen.

Now comes the curious case of Narendra Modi. Over the past few months we were carpet bombed with the apparent 'NEXT PM ' of India. But along the way a certain AAP nad Arvind Kejriwal came along and gatecrashed the party. All of a sudden the media abandoned MOdi and made a beeline for Kejriwal. And how does Modi and his supporters react? Well they do what politicians do. THey are trying their best to run down the AAP and Kejriwal and co. I remeber that the cockiness Modi is showing is somewhat similar to the NDA govt. in 2004 when they unleashed the India shining campaign and thought that the Indian voters adore them. But alas then the cockiness cost them. I see the same happening now with Modi. He and his supporters are demanding power rather than simply working towards it. Instead of trying to run down opponents in the social media they could as well simply focus on the strengths of Mr Modi. If they keep on trying to bully Modi's detractors am afraid Modi will never be able to become the PM. To get to the pinnacle of power you need to show a little humility and respect your opponents. To strengthen your case you don't need to run down your opponents rather listen and reply to their questions and doubts.

And yes AAP may not be the answer but they have brought some freshness and has a tinge of honest eagerness to do something which sadly the existing politicians have failed to showcase.

Installing R and R studio on Ubuntu 12.10

2013-11-25T08:10:00.002-08:00

Yes I know why 12.10? Well I am lazy to upgrade but also for the fact that the newer versions of Ubuntu haven't exactly set the world on fire. Anyways why am I writing this post? Its pretty easy to install R but R studio? Well R studio wasn't willing to get installed on my PC after downloading the package.

For the uninitiated R studio is a IDE for R and its pretty useful GUI.

So how did I manage to install R and R studio? Lets get over with some basic commands to install/update R.

To obtain the latest R packages, add an entry like

sudo add-apt-repository "deb http:///bin/linux/ubuntu saucy/"

sudo add-apt-repository "deb http:///bin/linux/ubuntu raring/"

sudo add-apt-repository "deb http:///bin/linux/ubuntu quantal/"

sudo add-apt-repository "deb http:///bin/linux/ubuntu precise/"

sudo add-apt-repository "deb http:///bin/linux/ubuntu lucid/"

But don't forget to replace by the actual URL of your favorite CRAN mirror. See http://cran.r-project.org/mirrors.html for the list of CRAN mirrors.

To install the complete R system, use

   sudo apt-get update
   sudo apt-get install r-base

Then Install gdebi which checks for dependencies

sudo apt-get install gdebi

Adding RStudio

Download R studio

http://www.rstudio.com/ide/download/

After downloading R studio package run the following command

sudo gdebi

Well ideally no errors should come up and you can find R studio installed and ready to fireup.

THe Indian PM unperturbed by the US spying on head of Nations

2013-10-25T06:44:00.001-07:00

It was recently revealed that the NSA of USA was spying on head of state of 35 countries. The Indian government was fast to respond that even if they spied on the Indian PM it wouldn't impact him because he doesn't uses neither a cell phone nor has a e-mail account. Amazing stuff I say and surprising that the PM of a #To Be' superpoer doesn't believe in communicating in an efficient manner.

Well i am hardly surprised because it has been ages since anyone heard Manmohan Singh talk. Secondly I am sure the NSA must have been exasperated spying on MMS. Why? Well he doesn't speak or does he? The NSA might have bugged everything from the PM's car to the house but they would have recorded only static and nothing else. Actually the NSA declared openly that they tried spying on the Indian PM and were impressed by the Indian technology . The Indian apparently has a coded silence and the best brains in the west came to naught trying to decode the silence. THey even tried facial recognition techniques in an attempt to decode the silence but they were out of luck on that count too.

All hail the Indian pm. After he relinquishes office he will be recruited as a spymaster by the Indian intelligence to teach them effective communication by silence. All hail Manuji and maybe take a few lessons from him too.

THe story of India and Pakistan-- Will we ever reconcile and be friends?

2013-08-21T09:18:00.000-07:00

I recently watched the movie Bhaag Milkha Bhaag and it led me to think about this question " Can India and Pakistan ever be friends?" Well the answer my friend is not a easy one. The previous generation genuinely thought that people on the either side were brothers and they had lands in each others country which bound them. No matter whatever wrongs happened during the partition and despite the killings all of the displaced people had emotional bonds. Despite the hatred of during the partition there were neighbors and people displaced due to the partition.

Cut to current times and our generation have been born in our respective countries. No memories of the by-lanes of Lahore or Chandni Chowk for people from either side of the border. 4 wars till now and death of numerous soldiers on either side of the border. We Indians gloat about the successes we had in the wars and how we fought bravely to defend ourselves. I believe the same would be propagated on the other side of the border. NO country likes to propagate its defeat. But the common thing on both sides was the wars caused deaths to numerous soldiers whose only fault was they were just following the orders of their political masters (In case of Pakistan the military masters). But what the deaths did was create hatred in the minds of general population . What initially might have been bewilderment at the wars gave way to outrage as our fathers, bothers, uncles started dying. Now The other country was an enemy who had a role to play in the destruction of the peaceful life we had known. THe war was immaterial now and the anger of attack gave way to the emotion of revenge. THe other country had to be defeated to avenge the death of near and dear ones.

That particular generation gave birth to our current generation. The current generation had no links to each others country and at the same time had inherited the hatred from our parents. We heard stories about the air raids, the bombings, the death of a uncle, of a father, a mother, a sister in the wars. The stories of valor on the face of adversity made us proud and at the same time created the image of the enemy. The terrorist attacks attributed to secret services of each others country further engraved the image of the enemy nation. Well I don't doubt for a moment that there are no attacks originating from Pakistan with tacit support from the higher echoleons of the 'other' country .

So whats the point am i getting at? THe point is if we had to become friends with each other and develop a goodwill it would have been done in the first few decades of independence. Why? Because at that time we had people who didn't only share a common history but actually lived through them. It would have been easier for people who had known each other to talk peace rather than the present generation who have literally no links to the lands on either side of the border and share huge mistrust given the wars and other covert activities.

P.S pEace is very difficult but not impossible. Hope we scale down military spends on both sides of the border and spend them on social welfare.

The case of ishrat Jahan!!! Was she innocent or was she a terrorist??

2013-07-05T03:59:00.001-07:00

In the last few days the discourse has been in India to devilify Narendra Modi and his anti muslim credentials. Well being not being a fanboy of Mr Modi I am kind off symphatetic with him. Recent reports suggest that the indian intelligence agents when they interrogated DavidHeadley and apparently he had mentioned about Ishrat and her being involved with the terrorist organizations. While its not clear to the extent of her involvement or the terrorist are simply trying to claim credit for the Gujarat Police's foolishnes but yes there is a certain doubt she might not be innocent after all.

But the case to me isn't that Ishrat was a terrorist or not? What after going through all the material tells me is that it was a fake encounter all right. The police in all its foolishness and misplaced love for the nation murdered 4 people in cold blood. What worries me isn't that if they were terrorists were not but the fact they were murdered. No matter how difficult I find to believe a 19 year old can be a terrorist but the facts cannot lie beyond a certain point.

The lesson from this case is that the police in order to showcase their bravado try to project encounters as a they have stopped the threat against the nation and to please their political masters. THe police should be made a professional organization with minimal political interventions otherwise we will soon turn into a police state with no future.

How much time does it take to change one's life???????

2013-06-26T03:26:00.001-07:00

I was wondering what in life makes you change your views about ....Life, any other person, your nearest and dearest ones? To my surprise it takes only one moment when it comes to life or one sentence when it comes to near and dear ones.

I stumbled upon the fact unknowingly but painfully. I felt the full impact ocf the same when I was craving for company from my dear one. But alas she was angry at me not because I wanted company because I had done something stupid in the morning. I knew it was stupid and and wrong on my part and I apologized profusely enough (i believe in all sincerity).

So I called her and I started getting frosty responses so I did apologise again and again but I got some of the stuff I had given her in my stupidity so I didn't mind the whole thing that much and more so because it was me at fault so I deserved the flak I got no complaints on that.

A new day I was all fresh and happy to put the happenings of the previous day behind me. I placed a call to my dearest and I sensed she was still incensed about the previous day. I tried placating her and did apologize but then what transpired shattered me. She hit me where it hurts me the most , She simply sad I am a pretender and a fake person and just a show off and once I get hit at that point I don't hold back. I didn't want to hurt her because I knew that I would lose control and I didn't want to let the situation spiral out of control.

I had sensed the anger building in her from an incident which had happened earlier a day ear;ier. I had asked her and she had replied that what do I want to hear. That had incensed me enough but I chose to ignore it because I thought that she took it in a different manner because I usually didn't ask her anything. I don't know how to react because she has crossed an unsaid line and its something I can't take it. I had no problems with her venting her anger but what has pissed me is that she said the things she said. Anger is justified but insulting a person isn't.

What worries me that she forgot all the nice moments and changed heroutlook about me from just a single incident . And she didn't even think my apologies were sincere. What else a man can ask from his life!!!

The aftermath of hanging Ajmal Kasab -- The terrorist who lived a life of luxury

2012-11-21T08:43:00.002-08:00

Ajmal Kasab was hanged Finall! So with that we kind of bring a speedy (Going by Indian standards) closure to the 2008 Mumbai attacks. The govt of India for a change didn't 'leak' the news out and it was done in a veil of secrecy.That made our media look bad as they couldn't create a spectacle out of it and no TRP's and no drama. Wow it was every news editor's nightmare.

So what does our news channels do? They can't let Ajmal Kasab rest in peace so they make a spectacle of his death. Stories about how the Pakistan govt didn't acknowledge the letter informing them about the hanging? How the family of Kasab disappeared? How secret the decision was that even the PM wasn't informed? But the most hillarious headlines were simply " Kasab was nervous a day before he was hanged" ? Man are you kidding me ? If I am told I'll be hanged tomorrow I'll be a nervous wreck. You never know I might have been pleading not to kill me. Then the next amazing piece was " Even the congress president didn't know about the event? Again the PM of the country is clueless but you expect the ruling party president to know?(That tells you how powerful or PM is ;) :P

And then again the second most amazing questions which were asked to the relatives of officers who died during the attack. The questions were like " How do you feel?" "Are you happy?" " What else after this" ? Its amazing that how the reporters try to sensationalize the whole event where it shouldn't be in the news for 24 hours.

Anyways a good day and a brave decision by India. Hopefully it'll deter future terrorists . I pray that there should be some sense in the people and stop killing people on the name of religion,race etc.

The story how I fell in Love

2012-10-02T10:14:00.003-07:00

It was an innocent question,
Which made a lasting impression.
The impish smile and the dancing eyes,
Slowly made my heartbeat rise.

Every little request you made,
brought me closer to you instead.
Bringing a smile to your face,
only brought me lots of happiness.

Riding across the city in the nights,
Along the way grabbing a few bites.
Downing loads of shots,
then sitting and having talks.

Love in the age of doordarshan

2012-08-20T07:38:00.002-07:00

Today when I entered my class I saw a new face. She was anxious and nervous. I take my usual seat with my best friend Pradeep. I ask him " Oye Pradeep who's the new face/" " Don't know .If you are so interested go and ask her." Pradeep quipped.

Mumbling a few curses to Pradeep I go to her. I was the class monitor so I had to know whats happening in the class. After all in class 3 the monitor is the king of the class. I go and ask Tanya " Oye do you know her" As usual I expected a yes from her but she nodded otherwise. I took a deep sigh and went up to her. "Hi, I am Partha , The class monitor of class 3 A. I haven't seen you earlier" "She replied " Hello, I am Shreyoshi Dutta, I just joined the school" "Welcome Shreyoshi, Why are you standing? Have a seat" I take her to a empty bench and ask her " By name you sound to be a Bengali. So are you " Before I could complete my sentence she chipped in " Yes Indeed. You also look like a bengali" "Yes Indeed I am" Happy to have found a bengali in the class. The bell rang and the class teacher came in. I as a responsible class monitor introduced her to ma'am.

During the recess I found that my other classmates were troubling her. It was quite common when a new person came we used to trouble them a lot for the forst week. But I couldn't see a fellow 'bong' being troubled. I stepped in and stopped the whole scene. After everyone left she had tears in her eyes. I asjed " Ki hoya? Why are you crying? This happens. They will all trouble you but within a week they will become your best friends" She replied" They were teasing me about not being able to speak proper english or hindi. I have come from Calcutta so i speak only broken hindi and decent english" Hearing that I started Laughing. On seeing me laugh the tears whoch were just hovering around the eyes started flowing as if I just broke a dam. "Arrey ,Kano kandcho? (Why are you crying?) I was just trying to make it sound funny. Even when I joined I hardly knew anything. " I had a bar one chocolate with me which I gave to her. Instantly her eyes lit up and she started eating it. But it was hot summer day and the chocolate had melted a lil but she opened the pack and suddenly all her fingers were covered with chocolate. She looked at me and I said " Go ahead lick it clean. No one will see you".

The next day again during the recess I was sitting with Shreyoshi when Pradeep and Tanya came up. They said in unison " Partha you know how we treat newcomers. Just because she has become your friend doesn't mean we change rules for her." I explained to the that she's not confident communicating in English and Hindi that why she's scared. Pradeep being a smarty suddenly said " Ok we won't trouble her if she answers one question. You can translate it to her if she wants" I was like" Ok gO Ahead" " What is the meaning of 'Junoon' " Wow! Where did that come from? Even I didn't know the meaning of the word? " Pradeep, Yaar which is this word I have never heard it" I suddenly feel a slight tap on my shoulder and see Shreyoshi standing. She says " Partha I can answer that" She comes to the front and says" Junoon means craze. passion, obessesion to do something, achieve something or get something" When she was saying that I fell in love for the first time in my life. I was spellbound by the way she was defining the word. It all sounded like poetry to me. She looked towards me and gave me smile and my heart stopped. I went home in a daze that day.

I had become a very good friend of shreyoshi within a week of her joining school. I fell in love with her but didn't know what it means. Only seen some movies which said stuff about love etc. Wasn't I too young to fall in love. After school got over I was walking with her to our quarters. We lived just a few blocks apart and I used to walk her to her house. I had a ruppee with me and decide to surprise her. I bought 2 ice candies and gave one to her. She was so happy and gave ne a hug " Oh Partha You are so sweet" And suddenly I realized i was blushing. It was orange candy and our lips became all orange and i dropped some juice on my white shirt too. On seeing me she started laughing. I also joined in " Gawd I was making fun of myself". We used to meet in the evenings after we played and used to feed 2 cats on the campus. The cats used to love us and would know that every evening at 7 they would get some food. I used to catch tadpoles thinking they are fishes and collect them in glass Horlicks jars and give it to her whenever it rained. She used to be so happy on getting the 'fishes'.

The summer Holidays started and she went off to Calcutta. I was home and started writing a letter to her everyday so when she comes back she can read them and it will be like she never left Guwahati. Dad came and announced" I have a Good news. We have been transferred to Delhi. We will make a move before Partha's school reopens so that he joins a new school in Delhi and doesn't miss any course work" I was so happy that we will be going to Delhi, the capital of India. Then it struck me "Shreyoshi? I won't ever meet her again. All the letters which I had written what will happen to them?

I was too little to pack on my own but I still hid the letters in my school bag with the books and one fine day left Guwahati with memories of my never confessed Love.

Do i deserve what I have??

2012-08-13T06:08:00.002-07:00

I have had a small but a eventful life till now. I have had the opportunity to have experienced all kinds of life right from extreme poverty to opulent lives. And I am glad what those experiences have taught me.

But there have been times I wonder do I deserve what i have? Not in terms of work because thats one area I believe i have done enough to deserve what I have. I have the potential to get more but then its a story of unfulfilled potential.But what about life? I have been fortunate enough to have been praised by people but I always have been very ill at ease with the compliments. Why? Because I believe I haven't done anything of any significant importance to deserve any praise. When I left my job people said many things about me and I was left wondering the compliments are fine but then what they say as my good things have they done anything to impact someone's life in a positive manner? If no then why the praise? If I haven't done anything on that front then all the praises are hollow and I truly believe that.

I never wanted to be the Mr good, because I am myself to messed up to help others. I do believe whatever I have done what others ascribe to be 'good work' are infact is what any other person will do. I haven't done anything out of this world. And another grouse I have against people praising me or rather what I believe is nonsense is isn't it said 'That good things happen to good people" then why is it that the so called good guy has nothing when it comes to his life . Yes I have money,food,and lead a good lifestyle but then I always have been unlucky. Not that I believe in fate and luck but at times i become so frustrated that I end up blaming them.

Anyways guys don't praise me because I don't deserve the adulation. The day when I do something of significance I will myself come up and shout from the rooftops asking for the praise.

Musings

2012-08-11T01:33:00.001-07:00

When I look back at my little life which I have spent till now I find how lonely I have been. Yes thats what I feel which no one will ever agree. Because I am the guy who does crazy stuff, play the joker, make people happy, party ,roam around with friends ,travel and what not. But then in the crowd I am always alone . If I can call some one whom I can rely on they would be only my parents. I have had many friends been in relationships but none worked out and I wonder why? Was i too much eager? Because I have always given 100% to my relations but couldn't expect anything out of it. My friends have done things, kept secrets which I should have known but always came to know from others. My friends have done things to me imagined or otherwise which I wouldn't ever do to them. They told me 'dude! Get a life we don't need you. You have fulfilled your utility". Despite this I stuck to them ,helping them, listening to them but when I needed some one I had to go back to my room and sit alone and support myself.

Yes its good that I don't need anyone's support but then I am a human and at times also desire some care from my friends. But I am who I am don't need anyone. I have the curse of loneliness. Whenever I thought I have fallen in love I have managed to screw up my life. Whenever life seems rosy ,my fate twists and the person of my affection just deserts me. What is it in me which attracts people to me but never lets them understand me?

Easy questions but no answers. I am sure by the time I die I'll have my answers till then I'll keep on fighting and making friends and be lonely .

Towards a Boundary free world

2012-08-09T10:08:00.001-07:00

Today I came to know one of my friends who had got through to a MS in US of A but the consulate decided to reject her visa not once but twice. Then one of my other friends who during 2 months of a amazing summer became so close to a person so that he wants to kiss her a farewell before he leaves the irish shores to India maybe to never reunite with someone he couldn't have.

Joke apart the problem being an Indian (Actually almost all asians) face is that we need a visa to go just about anywhere on this planet. Why when the so called developed world lectures us about lowering our tariff barriers and opening up our countries for more trade and their capitalists I wonder what stops them from doing the same ? Why the United States issues a limited number of visas for people willing to take up education or employment? Why do Europeans reject visa applications based on money being earned? Why? Its the foreign universities who come to our country canvassing for more students. When we secure the admissions and are full of hopes the Visa officer rises and rejects the visa. When a employer finds us meritorious for a job but again the visa officer strikes.

Why this hypocrisy in the developed world? Why are they scared of us that we can eat up their jobs? If they are so scared then they should make their population competent enough to beat us to a job and not keep us out because we are better than them? Frankly speaking I am never in favor of discrimination based on anything to do with caste, color or creed but frankly I find the human rights activists silent on the issue.

Open up the Boundaries ,erase the borders and you will find the huge armies being dismantled. Billions of dollars saved and can be diverted to poverty alleviation. When this planet was created without borders who are we, the mere mortals to create borders and deprive us of meeting others. One of my friend who is dying to go to Italy and one whose career hangs by a thin string of hope I pray for both of them that they get what they want and maybe the Politicians sitting in the high chairs take note and not crush such beautiful dreams.

Another Short Story

2012-08-03T08:14:00.000-07:00

It's raining. I sigh and wonder when will the rain end. Its been two days of rains and I am stuck in my house with nowhere to go. This was the weekend I thought I will enjoy the weekend to the fullest. I sip on my mug of coffee looking into the greenery outside. The memories came floating back to me of a rainy day.

It was evening and Delhi had experienced its first rain of the summers. Luckily i listened to my mom and was carrying an umbrella. I am waiting for the traffic light to turn red so that I can cross over to the other side. I see a girl trying vainly to keep herself dry using her hands. I stifle a laugh and politely ask her to get under the umbrella. She is more than happy to do that. The light turns red and we cross and we both enter the metro station and go our ways respectively.

It was a sunday and after a long time I was all alone on the Delhi-jaipur highway on my bullet for company. The urban jungle of Gurgaon gave way to the shrubs of the remnants of aravallis and the desert which lay ahead. The cool breeze (Due to the rains) Made it a pleasurable ride. Suddenly a audi drives by my side. I cannot help but steal a glance at the car. Then I see the the passenger seat rolling down and a faintly familiar face gives a smile and signals me to pull over. I stop my bike and the lady gets down from her car and comes up to me. I am still not able to recognise her. She smiles and asks me "You don't recognise me ? do you?" I am at a loss of words but before I could utter a word she says" I am the girl from the metro station whom you offered to share the umbrella . You already forgot. That day in my hurry I forgot to thank You. I was going to a friends wedding and saw you riding so..." Her words trailed off. I remember her . " Hi ,I am Biswaroop, Sorry didn't recognise you at the first glance" "its allright, I am not Ms World so that you remember me." She said with a giggle. "So Mr ..." "its Biswaroop" " Yeah its too long I am Garima. So where are you riding too? I love bullets" "Well am going to Jaipur and then will be back. Just that the weather was nice so taking a ride" "Would You mind if I ask for a lift till Jaipur. Please please " .

I couldn't resist her and agreed to take her . Along the way I realized how talkative she was . She kept on talking and wanted me to teach her ride a bike. We stopped at small places along the way for lassi and some food. I was starting to think I was falling for her. Then as we started riding again it started raining and I wanted to stop but she insisted to ride on. I was driving slowly as we were talking but I didn't see a car coming in the wrong way. The car banged hard against us. Next I remember waking up on the hospital bed . My Dad tells me I had been unconscious for the last 2 days. I frantically look around for her. What was her name I forget. Yes It was Garima. I ask my dad " What happened to Garima?? She was on the bike with me . Where is she?" My dad's face became expressionless. "She died this morning . She was in a coma for 2 days just like you but..." I couldn't stop my tears. This was a girl whom i knew for just a few hours and she was gone. That smile, that voice. that non-stop chatter...all for a few hours? All gone.

The rain stopped . I slowly pushed myself off the bed onto my wheelchair. Time for a evening walk.

Salute To Kejriwal...India Against corruption

2012-08-02T07:24:00.000-07:00

As news trickles in that Anna Hazare and Arvind Kejriwal have decided to end the fast at Jantar Mantar.I am glad they took a sensible decision. Mr Kejriwal you deserve a salute.

The question of forming a political party. In one hand I am glad that IAC has decided to become a part of the system and reform it from inside rather than acting as a pressure group. But the same thought scares me. Because being in politics is pretty tough and given the political machinery and vote banks which the political parties rely on have been created over the last 60 years. And the major thing going against the political party is the apathy in voting by the educated people. In the big cities hardly 40% people vote while in rural areas money power ensures 70% turnout easily.

But its time to set aside all the cynicism and I hope IAC really makes a difference.

The day was bad......

2012-07-26T09:59:00.000-07:00

"It was just a normal day in college. The gang was having a good time in the canteen as usual. Suddenly I got a message from the class representative that the 'subsi' class is on. What the @#%#? We honors' students never attended attended 'subsi' class. Thats what our seniors told us. I informed my gang and all of us trooped to the lecture theater. It was a boring chemistry class and the prof was bumbling around as in a daze. He also must have never taken a 'subsi' class in his life. Suddenly the hot Delhi summer gave way to clouds and a cool breeze started blowing. I sighed that due to some 'nincompoop' I have to attend the class and not enjoy the great weather which is so rare in Delhi. The class finished and I went up to the Class representative to ask who was responsible for scheduling the class. As I had suspected it was him. I went to him and gave him a piece of his mind But then he shouted back at me. It was first time that some guy had shouted back at me and I was soon in tears. Next day in the class at my usual seat I found a dairy-milk fruit n nut along with a 'Hercule Poirot' novel. Who had kept it no-one knew but I had suspect in mind. Just as the lecture got over he came over and apologized for his behavior and took me to barista for a coffee"
And then She called me to the kitchen and I closed my dearest wife's journal.