After catching up, the group turned our attention to future plans.  Several of our members are in transition, and our co-conveners will be leaving the area within the next few weeks.  The consensus was clear – Mustard Seed needs to continue in some way!  The current group will try to meet at least 3-4 more times to see what new directions MSN might take.  Members were also encouraged to think about carrying this “huddle” concept into their own contexts, beginning groups like this that can provide friendship, support and insight for other ministers.

Jon asked the members present what things they are taking away from MSN as it has been for the last few years.  Several patterns emerged:

• Friendships – More than any learning, we’ve enjoyed the friendships that have been built as we’ve shared the journey of ministry together.
• Personal Growth – Each of us has grown personally as we’ve looked at our own past and present relationships, and we’ve enjoyed watching each other grow as well.
• Common “Lens” – By looking together at our congregations through the lens of Bowen Family Systems Theory, we’ve been able to make some sense out of the complex web of human relationships… and understand where we fit in that web.
• Owning Our Past – We’ve each seen how important it is to acknowledge our own past relationships, and all the history that came before us.  We can try to ignore some of these things, but they will always be there.  It’s better to look carefully at these things and take ownership of them, so they don’t rule us without our knowledge.
• Living in Transition – Things are always in transition, even though we might want to think everything is stable and unchanging.  Recognizing that everything changes, we remain open to new possibilities and new directions that God might take us – whether we are the transition-ers or the transition-ees!

Thanks to you all for many great hours spent together in learning, prayer, and simple friendship!  May the Mustard Seed keep growing!

During the meeting we discussed chapter 3 of Margaret Marcuson’s Leaders Who Last, in which we talk about the importance of knowing the story (i.e., the history) of our congregation.  Marcuson points out that in order to lead effectively in the present, we must know the past events that have shaped the life of the church family.  The founding circumstances of a church will always be present in its DNA, as well as the characteristics that the church inherited from its charter members.  Other defining events – positive and negative – also live on in the church’s unconscious memory, and will often have direct repercussions on the church’s behavior today.

One of the types of defining moments we talked about at length is church “splits.”  Each of our churches has experienced a split in some way, and those splits influence the way things are currently done.  For instance, one of the churches we discussed had turmoil (focused around a particular person) nearly 40 years ago.  Members today still remember how awful those business meetings were in those times.  As a result, business meetings today are subdued… even to the point of being unproductive because the members rarely express their opinions.  Somehow in the church’s collective memory, disagreement has led to a split.  So to avoid this kind of split in the future, the members work to quell disagreement at any cost!

The discussion was helpful and encouraging, challenging us to look more closely at our congregation’s past if we want to understand some of the perplexing things that happen right now.

The next meeting of MSN will be a fellowship gathering, and has tentatively been set:

Saturday, May 5
5:30 pm
A Taste of Italy, 13547 Waterford Place, Midlothian, VA.
http://www.atasteofitaly.net/index.shtml

We spent time over lunch catching up with what’s going on in our lives since our last meeting in December.

Tim Beck then presented his genogram and family of origin work.  We asked Tim a lot of questions and he patiently helped us process the emotional dynamics in his family as well as giving us the opportunity to discuss how parts of his story resonated with ours.

Tim’s presentation took the whole time, but we were reminded of Margaret Marcuson’s admonition in chapter four of her book Leaders Who Last to know our own story.

Our next meeting will be Wednesday, March 21, 9 to 11 am.
Farmville Baptist Church
Let’s spend time with Chapters 3 & 4 of Marcuson’s Leaders Who Last.

After lunch and a brief time of catching up, we delved into the first two chapters of Margaret Marcuson’s Leaders Who Last.  In the first chapter, which serves as an introduction, Marcuson explains the book’s two-fold approach to long-lasting leadership – Managing Yourself, and Knowing Your Territory.  In chapter two, she moves into Managing Yourself as she explains the importance of taking responsibility for ourselves and our own stuff… NOT for others and their stuff.  The group talked at length about the expectations that are placed on us as ministers – by ourselves and by others.  We also discussed the fact that many ministers are over-functioners, and talked about how this affects our churches.

Finally, Elizabeth shared her genogram with the group, and we had some good discussion about the dynamics in her family of origin, and how those dynamics have played a role in the events of her life in recent months.

Remember Dave Peppler in prayer, as he will have double knee replacement surgery on December 28.

The next meeting of MSN…

• Will be held in early February,
• Will be held in or near Powhatan, to make it easier for Pep to attend,
• Will focus on chapters 3-4 of Marcuson.

Thanks for another great meeting everyone!

The meeting began at 12pm with lunch, provided by MSN, from The Bakery in Farmville.  Present were Rob Brown, Michael Chueuk, Elizabeth Dowdy, Jon Parks, Rod Spencer, and two new/returning members – Tim Beck (Kenbridge Methodist in Kenbridge) and David Peppler (Muddy Creek Baptist in Powhatan).

The purpose of this meeting was mainly fellowship.  We re-introduced ourselves for the benefit of the new and returning members, and spent some time sharing what’s going on in our lives at the moment.

The next meeting will be held at Farmville Baptist, date/time TBA in early December.  During the meeting we will discuss the introduction and first two chapters of Leaders Who Last by Margaret Marcuson, and Elizabeth will present her genogram.

Thanks to:

• Elizabeth for hosting us in her beautiful home!
• Michael for arranging lunch.
• God for providing a beautiful autumn day and a refreshing time.

After lunch together, we had a brief “check-in” session, then Rob Brown presented his own genogram.  We had good discussion around this, and each of us found links to our own stories as well.  The discussion concluded with some practical discussion about how Rob’s family-of-origin story has influenced his leadership style and his work as a pastor.

Next meeting will take place at 12 noon on Wednesday, November 2 at the home of Elizabeth Rickert Dowdy.  Lunch will be provided, and at that time we will begin our discussion of the book Leaders Who Last by Margaret Marcuson.  If you do not have a copy, let Michael know and we will get one to you!

The Quivering Brethren: "There be no butter in hell!!"

Our meeting agenda was specifically to watch the movie Cold Comfort Farm (1996), which provides an excellent (and often humorous) reminder of many Family Systems concepts.  In the movie, young Flora Poste is recently orphaned and chooses to spend time with her relatives on Cold Comfort Farm – a backward little village farm in rural England.  These family members are a perfect example of a “stuck” system:  Aunt Ada never leaves her bedroom because she once “saw something nasty in the woodshed” (even though she can’t remember what it was), and her inability to get past this family secret has, for decades, thwarted the plans and dreams of the other family members.  Flora’s arrival brings new life and new perspectives to the Farm, and she begins to understand more about herself as she urges the others away from stale family secrets and toward self-realization.

While we watched the movie, we had our own experience of the “Quivering Brethren” – the East Coast earthquake occurred around 1:45, in the middle of the movie, and we stopped to see what was going on.  Hopefully future meetings won’t be so dramatic!

Next meeting date and time are to be determined over TimeBridge.

The purpose of this meeting was mainly fellowship.  After meeting at the church, the group moved to El Patron Mexican restaurant for lunch.  We shared a meal and some good conversation around the table – highlights were the humorous and wise comments by Rod Spencer!  On a related note: after some debate, the group decided that there will indeed be chips and salsa in heaven.

After lunch, we returned to the church for some discussion of practical ministry topics – specifically baptisms, and ministry partnerships focusing on area children in poverty.

Next meeting will be set by TimeBridge, which seems to be a worthwhile tool.

Thanks for a great meeting!

At the meeting, we had lunch together and spent some time catching up with what’s going on in our lives and ministries.  We were excited that Kevin could join us for the first time since his move to Pleasant Hill Baptist as pastor!  Kevin filled us in on details about his move, the new church, his family happenings and his ministry.  He also brought a very recent and timely case study, and we looked at it together through a  systems-theory lens.  It was a very helpful time of fellowship and encouraging one another, as always!

Our next meeting will be in mid- to late-July, and will be scheduled via TimeBridge.

MSN met as planned at 11:30 am on April 19, at Farmville Baptist Church.  Present were Rob Brown, Michael Cheuk, Jon Parks and Rod Spencer.  Michael Cheuk provided a lunch of Subway sandwiches through the generosity of the CBF grant.  After preliminary discussions and “catching up,” we commenced with two case studies: Jon Parks spoke about his impending transition at the church, and asked the group for suggestions in this regard.  Michael Cheuk spoke about a recent family situation that related to his previous genogram work.  Both case studies were discussed from a family systems perspective and the conversation was both encouraging and helpful.

The next MSN meeting will be scheduled via TimeBridge.