Ryan's Awesome Australian Adventure

Last Day in St. Kilda

2012-06-25T15:59:00.003+10:00

Today is my final day in St. Kilda as tomorrow morning I travel across the Tasman to old New Zealand. The last weekend has been good too. Drunken shenanigans on Friday night after getting my new camera,
First up, here's a drizzly day camera test

And here's what happens when the Sun goes down...

Saturday was my penultimate day at the butcher's, and thanks to a tad too much wine I was hanging. That was about it for Saturday, I did also get my New Zealand working holiday visa emailed to me, which is pretty important as I wouldn't have got too far into New Zealand without it.

Free accommodation?

Sunday was my last day at the butcher's. Nothing special really, just the odd joke about New Zealand being in a different time zone... called 1994. But I'll find out about that tomorrow evening. Today I went out in the drizzle fo shizzle and took a few last photos of what has been home for the past couple of months.

What the hell kind of statue is that?

And now I'm packed and ready to get my New Zealand on! I have still been in contact with the farm supervising job that still seems a bit weird, so soon I will find out if that was a load of bollocks or the luckiest job offer ever.

Now I'm going to continue blogging on my New Zealand blog... here

So don't forget to keep an eye on that.

Australian Adventure Comes to an End

2012-06-19T15:57:00.002+10:00

Due to a monumental cock up, I can't get my 2nd year visa in time before my current one runs out. This means I'm off to New Zealand (Because I can't afford to go anywhere else)! This turn of events has caused a fair amount of stress, thanks to the lack of time to get sorted, the lack of funds to pay for stuff and the lack of any idea what to do when I get there.

Before work yesterday I had a good hard think about what I am going to do then I glanced over a Sunday supplement that somebody had left on a table...

Well that's spooky, or at least it would be if I was a Virgo...

Or a Scorpio...

A stark choice? These things are so vague, I have stark choices every week. Like, shall I pay for the tram or not.

I then told my boss what was happening in that this would be my final week at the butchers'. He didn't seem too bothered.

After work I proceeded to fret about money and tried to set up my NZ working holiday visa online, I then decided to do it today because those application forms are pretty long. Today I also sent off my tax return forms to an agent to sort all that out for me as I'd rather not be distracted by taxes right... oh, hang on...

Well, I just spoke to the accountant of a certain packing shed that I did some cash work for. Turns out, because I was such a good, honest, hard working guy they are willing to pay my tax (something they were really unsure of when I spoke to them a couple of days ago, you know, because tax is really annoying and they'd have to sort it if I wanted to use them for a second year visa) so I can now use the time spent there to go towards (and over) my 88 day quota for the 2nd year visa. All I have to do is sign a form tomorrow, grab a certificate and I can use it. So the cock up isn't quite as monumental as first thought. But I am going to New Zealand regardless, there I will hopefully meet my cousin Tim and his family, but as it isn't really an Awesome Australian Adventure I'm making a new blog... HERE!

I'll apply for my 2nd year Aussie visa another time because I'm going to New Zealand, in case you missed that part. So subscribe and bookmark my new blog if you want to know what I get up to when I get to New Zealand. Until then, I'll try to update any developments.

Let’s Get Boring!

2012-06-04T22:10:00.000+10:00

Time to get serious if I don’t want to spend forever in St. Kilda, not that it’s a bad place, but I’ve only been to three states in nearly a year and money has once again become the stumbling block.

Saving won’t be easy as hours are still part time, but I’m sure if I don’t do anything at all for a few weeks I will have enough money saved in my new bank account (because my original Aussie bank, St. George, don’t have branches outside NSW).

In other news, my camera is gone (probably stolen, but the police said I can’t prove that it has actually been nicked so I have to report it as ‘lost’ instead #PoliceLogic) and I’m skint-ish, my UK accounts are running low so I need to start sending some money back to England if I want to keep my kneecaps. But that means I need to boost my income...

So suddenly my ‘awesome’ adventure is less fun and games and is leaning more towards the ‘scraping by trying to make minimum payments whilst abroad and not earning much’ adventure. But it could be worse, I could not be earning anything, or heading out to find fruit picking work only to find it has all been taken by backpackers that got there first (which has happened to a few guys from the hostel that left recently). I’m going to think up a get rich quick scheme to keep my UK accounts afloat and try and save some money for my Aussie Adventure to continue as it was about a month ago. So don't expect too many wacky tales of me doing cool stuff and taking pictures of sunsets and wallabies for a while yet, especially that last part seeing as I no longer have a decent camera.

Money Talks

2012-05-15T17:23:00.001+10:00

I didn't starve! I got paid on Sunday and immediately paid my rent, so that's $155 gone already. Luckily it's the free sausage sizzle on Sundays so I didn't have to pay for my dinner. Then I drank a $3 bottle of awful wine before heading out with a few of the lads (and a couple of lasses) to see the last game of the current Premier League season play out at the Elephant and Wheelbarrow.

Live music and a whole lot of Irish made for a good time and watched the events on screen(s) as we all twisted our necks to keep an eye on the screens at either end of the room. Of course the really important game is the play-off final next Saturday, but for now Manchester United fans won't shut up about their 'history' and how they are still better than City because they didn't buy the title, blah blah sore losers blah,

Pictured: A bad winner

Monday I worked for 3 hours and got some free sausages! Nothing else happened. Seriously, I'm trying to save some money so no nights out for me!

Today I didn't need to work so I walked up Chapel Street and looked at things I can't afford and then bought some food (beans, pasta and tinned tomatoes FTW!). Nothing much else to talk about now (I did some laundry, but that isn't worth writing about), I'll be working for 3 more hours tomorrow and hopefully I won't be peer pressured into going out any time soon.

Grilling is my Business... And Business is Goood!

2012-05-09T23:38:00.000+10:00

Working at the butcher's has a good advantage in the form of free, nearly off, food! Yesterday I work 3.5 hours and got 11 chicken kebab skewers, worth over $30! Sweet!

Before then I was talking with people at the hostel when waiting to go to work and it turned out Ed, a guy I didn't know too well but had been at the hostel for 6 months, was leaving! A couple of the girls decided to make a little bit of a party with balloons and... well, the rest wasn't really concrete, but hey, balloons!

I brought 11 skewers, I had one and shared the rest with Ed and anybody else that wanted one and they were amazing. Probably because I barbequed them, but maybe because they were really nice skewers.

Joel has a thing for skewers.

A good laugh, a few beers and some goon. All the ingredients one needs for a good hostel party.

Red hats help too.

But it's not all fun and games, especially when you get your 'balance' email from Barclaycard, indicating that things are far from 'balanced' and my Aussie money is on critical, which means I'm going to have to hold out until Sunday with a mere $10 for food. Luckily, there is a place called Lentil as Anything that serves some really nice vegetarian food for a donation of your choosing. The food is so good that I haven't had the heart to pay anything less than $3 for it and their chai teas are really good too.

So if you don't hear from me soon it's because I have died from an overdose of pasta and tinned tomatoes.

Promoting My Meat

2012-05-07T14:16:00.000+10:00

Never forget that, when traveling, it doesn’t pay to be too sentimental. I have already made some good friends here in St.Kilda, but like all hostels friendships shift and change at a moment’s notice

Now, I’m fortunate enough to be blessed with rugged good looks and a sense of humour so wicked that I can make a German fall for me... Everyone knows that isn’t a metaphor. To be fair, ‘falling’ is the wrong word, ‘flirting’ would be more accurate. Either way, I and a certain young lady had a great couple of days/nights in which I went to my second day of work after 4 hours sleep because this particular leibling wanted to see the little penguins at four in the bloody morning after a night at The Barkley.

Needless to say we put on quite a show for those penguins as things got a bit steamy on the rocks. We both knew we wouldn’t be together long as she was going to Cairns on Sunday night. I would feel like fate has deemed it necessary to push apart the chances of finding a special someone, but I’m not the kind of guy to care about ‘fate’. That in mind, there was an ‘uh-oh’ moment in the form of the line ‘you’re a lot older than me’. Having heard that, it soon dawned on me that this may be a mistake. But, and it is an important but, I didn’t even know she was nineteen until that night. I knew she must be younger than me, but not ‘that’ much’ younger. Geez. T’is an odd feeling indeed when you become ‘too old’ for somebody when you’re 26. I never thought I’d be so unprepared to hear it, but one cannot let such things deter oneself. True to form I stayed the course and at 5 am I finally returned to the hostel with a new ‘close’ friend. So, work was tough the next day.

On the subject of ‘work’, I am now a meat promoter, standing outside a butcher’s in a shopping centre letting people sample some of my special meat products. It’s not a bad job, it’s like the charity fundraising thing I did last year in Sydney except people are much happier when they get to try some free food. Maybe ‘Save the Children’ should cook parts of starving African kids to encourage people to subscribe?

Although there's more meat on these ones...

The job is going so well that I have been offered more hours, sadly it still only adds up to 30 hours a week, which is ok but I really want to save some money so I’m going to have to think of something that doesn’t involve ‘full body massage’ as one text message I received in response to my current Gumtree ad suggested.

So money is still an issue, but I’m hoping for something else to come up. Meanwhile I’ve been hanging out with my fellow 'hostellers', drinking, laughing and having a generally good time with some good folks, like last night when we sat on the beach at 11pm.

Saturday, I and a few others went down to the Espy to take in some live music and have a few quiet ones as I was still living on 4 hours sleep from the penguin/hot loving session the night before (reading this blog post back I now realise it’s maybe a bit all over the place, but whatever). Luckily the music was pretty chilled out, like a slow Mumford and Sons, but shit got closer to real when I noticed my 'close' friend getting a little teary eyed. Did I mention she would be leaving for Cairns with her travel partner the next day? Oh, maybe I should have. Well, she wouldn’t be in St. Kilda much longer and clearly the mellow tones and harmonies of Mitch Davis and the Dawn Chorus were highlighting that. So our relationship was on a tight schedule and it ended up taking a long time to walk back to the hostel as we kept stopping for little make out sessions in dark alley ways. And that was my weekend, or what I can remember of it. I have a day off today before I start giving passers by a portion in the shopping centre at Carnegie for 3 hours tomorrow.

So, to play us off, here's Mitch Davis and the Dawn Chorus.

Stuck in the Melbourne

2012-05-03T11:29:00.000+10:00

Back in a hostel environment and money is becoming an issue. Fortunately I have a part time job (18 hours a week) convincing people to buy from a butcher's shop in a shopping centre. I'm still looking for another job to make up the hours but at least I'm not going to starve.

It's a good hostel here, very social, plus there are quite a lot of long termers here which is a good sign. I've already had some good nights out the past week (hence the lack of funds) so it looks like I'll be here for a while.

I'll probably write something more detailed soon, but I'm going to be offline for a few days as my internet will be expiring tomorrow and I won't be topping it up too soon.

Right, back to job searching. Until next time, adieu!

Anzac Day

2012-04-26T16:45:00.001+10:00

Yesterday was Anzac day. I got the tram up to the shrine to have a look at the parade for a bit, because parades tend to get boring after a while.

And it was raining.

Then I walked into Melbourne, but a lot of places were shut because of the public holiday so I couldn't ask many shops if they have any jobs going. Yes, that's right, I'm looking for a job again. I walked back to the shrine after a while in the city, just in time to hear the last post.

Then it was time for me to get the tram back to St.Kilda where I would meet a few of my fellow hostelers. A pretty good night, with a lot of beer, a free meal at a place called Base and more beer. There are quite a few long termers here which is good as I'm probably going to be here for a few months as soon as I get as job, which will hopefully be soon as today I handed out a load of CVs to some shops and found out about a website for labourers.

Now, I'm going to try and shake this hangover.

Leaving Tas Vegas

2012-04-23T16:19:00.000+10:00

I'm sitting in the Aztec now, waiting the last couple of hours before I can check in and board the Spirit of Tasmania II : Electric Boogaloo.

Earlier I spent an hour walking around Beaconsfield's Mining Museum before hitting the road to Devonport.

The museum is good, there are working scale replicas of the machinery once used as well as some full size working replicas. There is a whole room dedicated to the Anzac Day thing, where two guys were trapped for two weeks in the mine as well as other historical events.

I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is 'Steam Boiler'

This is the still working bit of the mine

Yesterday I tried to suggest that 'Flowery Gully' and 'Grubb Shaft' were somehow innuendos. I failed. However, inside the museum was a whole corridor dedicated to innuendos! So, without further ado, cue knob jokes!

Yes, a whole corridor of knob jokes thanks to a collection amassed from 1985 by a guy who clearly had wood. Each knob is from a different Australian
tree and they have all been carved into phallic symbols.

There is nothing funny about this.

Outside I was treated to the sight of around ten Alvises. The Alvis drivers' club were obviously about and they are exceptional looking cars.

The Alvis is on the left of this photo

And here's an MG

Then I was off for a 90 minute drive to Devonport, after looking at Batman Bridge!

Oh, it doesn't look very 'Batman'.

It also rained, for a bit.

I grabbed some food and wrote a blog post. And now you're up to date. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a boat to wait for.

A Fitting Farewell To Tassie

2012-04-22T21:51:00.001+10:00

And so my final night on this beautiful corner of the world is here.

This morning (about 5.30) I made my way back to Wineglass bay to make sure I didn't miss what I promised myself two weeks ago I would make an effort to see,

Yes, that's the sun rising over Wineglass Bay. As an old school romantic I can only say it was the perfect way to start the day. The waves were exuberant, crashing every few seconds and destroying the calm quiet that surrounded me. The clouds conspired to block out the Sun's view of our wondrous planet but her gaze eventually made it through to reflect lovingly from the surface of the water.

I walked back to Aztec, which reminded me that my legs took a beating yesterday! My left leg doesn't work properly now, but I wasn't expecting to do much mountain climbing today, thankfully.

I then tried to use the shower back at the free camp site but the water was half a degree from firing icicles out of the shower head, so less shower more splashing water under my arms and on my face.

My next task was to drive to Launceston, which is in the middle of Tasmania. It is a city that prides itself on having immaculate 19th century buildings.

That's one hell of a town hall you've got there.

Sadly, it was a rainy Sunday and nothing much was open. So after an hour of walking her streets I took some photos and left Launceston to head north along the west side of the Tamar river.

My destination was Beauty Point, but on the way I drove through Beaconsfield, home of a rather famous mine. I could have paid the entrance fee and seen more, but I wanted to continue northwards. I might head back there tomorrow though.

Grubb Shaft? Flowery Gully?

Oh come on. Hart Shaft?

Eventually I reached the Beauty Point turn off, but I headed a few km's further on to Greens Beach.

Yep, it's no Wineglass that's for sure. So I went back to Beauty Point making a note about a place called 'West Head', but that was for later. Beauty Point is pleasent but the rain clouds were persistent and annoying so I sought out shelter...

Yep, this'll do. Platypus House Mafia feat. Echidna

I haven't and probably never will see these Australian natives in the wild so I thought 'why not see them now?'. They are related species and both quite bizarre, although the Platypus is a little stranger.

The male platypus has a venomous barb on each front foot and the females sweat milk along their bellies and they have claws on their knuckles and are really hard to photograph when they are behind perspex.

Yes that one is hiding in a log.

Echidnas are Australian Wombles. Unlike the similar looking porcupine, echidnas cannot fling their spines, instead they raise them up to become spiky death mammals, mammals that lay eggs! Once a year.

They also have little barbs on their tounges to rub away rotten wood in an attempt to get at those tasty termites that dwell inside (although Tasmania doesn't have termites). They will also lick your shoes, I found out, as they investigate with their tongues and noses. Again, they are hard to photograph because they move quite quickly and we weren't allowed to have the flash on.

A great way to spend an hour out of the rain. But I felt I should check into the campsite nearby (one that has a hot shower) before it got too late. After checking in I made myself a coffee and an old man came up to me to have a look at Aztec. He said he converted his friend's van by putting an old computer desk behind the fold out bed/seat, a bit like what Aztec has, only Aztec has a custom made unit with cubby holes and such. Anyway, I walked with my coffee to a nearby conservation area called Redbill Point.

Somehow I doubt 'baby snails' will get the same reaction as Franky did.

You remember Franky, don't you?

Oh, and here is where this conservation area gets its name

See, their bills are red! The guy that came up with that name was a creative genius.

Enough bird spotting. The Sun was beginning to dip, which meant I felt an urge to go back to West Head which, if the map was accurate, should give me a view like this...

Oops, sorry, that's a double rainbow.

I meant a view like...

This.

The rain had stopped and I looked on as our star sank below the watery horizon to greet another part of the planet. It is an amazing site that I have never seen before and I feel lucky to have captured such a regular yet special moment.

Going....

...going...

Gone.

The time was only 5.30 as I drove carefully back towards the camp site. The wallabies were out in force and it was dark by the time I got near Beauty Point, at which point I thought 'I don't want to cook pasta, I'm going to get a porterhouse steak and chips', that may not be my exact thoughts, but it was what I did. To be honest, steak and chips is the only way to cap off such a marvellous day.

Tomorrow night I will be sailing back to the mainland, safe in the knowledge that I have spent the past week doing nothing but what I wanted to do and seeing more than I could have ever imagined.

From the west coast to the south west wilderness, Hobart to Port Arthur,

From clear skies to rain, sunrise to sunset, Freycinet and Franky

One week in Tassie wasn't nearly enough, but still a great adventure,

Which is exactly what I wanted it to be.

-Me, just now, 2012

(Who said rhythm is important?)

Duke Of The Hazards

2012-04-21T21:17:00.001+10:00

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes"
- Marcel Proust

Today was a real adventure, over 5 hours of walking including a 454 meter boulder climb. But first, the beginning. I left White Beach and drove all the way past Triabunna and up to Coles Bay.

The above pictures were taken at a little spot on the way. But it's clear conditions were gloomy. However getting closer to my intended destination, I passed through Swansea and the clouds started to clear a bit. Then I got to the Oyster Bay lookout

That's more like it.

The rest of the journey featured the usual twisty roads, and after paying for my 24 hour car pass I stopped to look at the Friendly Beaches.

The beaches seemed popular with surfers, but I wasn't interested in these beaches as I wanted to see Wineglass Bay. Getting closer to the park The Hazards came into view,

Quite an awesome sight. The Hazards are a group of mountains in Freycinet National Park and later I would try to climb one of them.

Past Coles Bay I made a b-line straight for the Wineglass Track car park as that is where the walks all start from. The walks vary from 20 minutes to 5 days, but one 'walk' stood out for me.

Amus, it sounds like anus, therefore it is funny.

Substantial is the right amount of hazard for me!

The start was simple and easy to follow, like a tutorial level.

But the moment I passed this sign...

The difficulty increased in the form of slippery boulders and steep rocks to traverse. Soon after passing this sign a man passed me as he headed back down. He said that conditions were too slippery for him. I glanced at his shoes, they looked like they cost more than my van rental and if they couldn't stick to what they were designed to stick to then maybe this would be a tad too much. But my work boots and I were up for a challenge, so I proudly said 'Oh, OK, well I'll just see how it goes' like the super tough guy I am and I continued onwards and upwards.

The route was marked by these ribbons, but there were occasions when the ribbons were hard to see.

As the altitude increased so did the difficulty. Small streams of water flowed over the already smooth face of the mountain and I almost thought it wasn't worth the risk.

However, I crossed paths with a couple who had been to the top and my manhood basically sent the 'well if these two can do it...' message to my brain. With new vigour I continued upwards.

Coles Bay

I guess this is a load bearing rock?

And then the cloud rolled over the horizon.

With the clouds coming in, many sensible people would think 'maybe this is high enough, I'd better get down before it rains', but sensible is not my style, just ask my bank manager. I continued as I went out to climb this rock and I wasn't going to let some pansy weather system stop me!

Around an hour and 30 minutes from the start of my ascent I reached the summit...

Well, 'a' summit.

The path had actually gone down a bit before going back up, but I missed that, so I back tracked and went up a small valley to find...

Wineglass Bay (although it was a bit of a cloudy wine glass)

A quick snack and then the wind picked up a bit. But before it did I noticed the whole mountain was eerily silent. No birds, no insects, nothing, only the crashing of the waves on the bay below. But I now wanted to get down there and see the beach up close, but to do that I would have to spend some time getting off the side of this 454 meter rock.

I can jump that...

...um... maybe not.

90 minutes later I was back on the ground, you know, the ground that doesn't have you sliding 450 meters downwards if you lose your footing. I then turned left and set off to see Wineglass Bay.

At least this route had stairs

20 minutes of walking and I reached Coles Bay lookout.

Great, but the Wineglass lookout was another 20 minutes away, so no time to mess about.

Pictured: Messing about

On the way to Wineglass lookout I crossed paths with the guy that didn't climb the mountain earlier. He seemed marginally impressed with my feat, I held back my alpha male boasting that my manliness demanded I spout, then we went in separate directions as I really wanted to get to the beach lookout before the sun set.

The lookout? But this isn't much closer than looking from atop a mountain. I needed to get closer, to feel the spray of the ocean, to get sand on my boots. So I took the decision to walk the 30 minutes to get onto the beach properly.

I would have gotten there sooner, but the plants were quite interesting, like this dead twisted tree (above) and the fern thing (below)

Then I made it and set foot on a beach so clean it could be used in a Daz advert.

Well, clean apart from the giant seaweed

The light was disappearing, so I had to make the one hour walk back to the car park, which was the point my legs started crying as I hadn't exactly been 'eating well' today, unless a banana and two apples for lunch is 'well'.

By the time I got back to Aztec, the sun was down and my stomach was rumbling. So down to Coles Bay we went.

And avoiding the wildlife expertly.

I stopped in to the Iluka Tavern for a swift half pint of Boags and fresh local mussels in chilli tomato broth. Delicious stuff! Then up the road again to stop into the free campsite they have here. You're supposed to ask the Information Visitor Centre place which bays available, but the place was shut and nobody was in the campsite so I've just parked up and now I'm going to bed as I fully intend on returning to Wineglass before sunrise as the beach faces out to the East, which happens to be where the sun rises. So goodnight ladies and gentlemen, now to play us out, here's Captain Kirk talking about why he is climbing a mountain...

And here's the third wallaby photo for today, did you spot them all, boys and girls?

Devils and Ports

2012-04-20T20:50:00.002+10:00

TASSIE DEVILS TASSIE DEVILS! Today I saw my first (living) Tassie Devils. I drove down from Seven Mile Beach towards Port Arthur where I stopped at the Tasmanian Devil Conservation Park, which is on the A9 as you head towards Port Arthur, you can't miss it.

Seriously, if you drive past this sign you shouldn't be allowed to drive. Just look at the little bugger!

I paid the $32 entrance fee, which some may say is a bit steep, but it is well worth it. You can spend as long as you want or go in the morning to see the Devils and Roos then come back later to see the Quoll feeding (I didn't do that). I was the first person there at just after 9am so I had the run of the park for a little while, but the first of the Devil feedings was at 10am and I definatly didn't want to miss that as I thought the Devils would be hiding until then as they are naturally nocturnal.

As I entered the park there was a small shack with some posters about the history of the park and just after that a tiny little room with a tiny TV showing an old video about the now extinct Tasmanian Tigers. There are people who claim the tigers are still out there, but I think the general consensus is they are dead and now only a short video clip is the closest we will ever be to seeing one again.

Which is a strong reminder of the plight facing the Devils. The facial tumours that are spreading throughout the wild population are killing off vast amounts of Devils and at one point a keeper said that the only way to get rid of the tumours is to wait for all of the wild Devils to die and then introduce the healthy ones that are in captivity into the wild again. There are currently 700 captive Devils.

This thought makes projects like the one here all the more important and makes one appreciate the effort that is going into saving these poor little cutey cuddly wuddly smoochy poos

Adorable

Awwww, look at the little one!

OK, back in the car.

They are not hunters, just scavengers. Their front paws are more like little hands instead of claws and they are not very fast runners but three adults can eat an 'entire' wombat in one sitting. That's bones, teeth, hair, everything!

Before the first feeding session I had a chance to meet some more natives in the form of Forester Kangaroos, which were in an open area.

Cuteness levels - 50% increase to

100% cuteness

After a few minutes in the enclosure a keeper said good morning, I replied in kind and we ended up chatting about the Roos. Turns out there was a couple of Red Necked Wallabies around the enclosure, one we could see but another was only around 8 months old, orphaned and already I felt sorry for it, but it was hiding somewhere. Then it was almost time for some Devil feeding action! And the rain came down. Which made this little corner of the park all the more sombre.

Yes, even Tassie Devils must go off to meet their maker, they only live for about 5-6 years, but it really sets the tone as to how much this park cares for the Devils and other animals when they give them burials. I don't think I have ever seen anything like it.

Turns out this Errol was not only a famous Tasmanian 1930's actor, but was genetically superior.

That's twice I've brought the mood down. Lets bring it back up again with some Devils eating a wallaby carcass!

The Devils in this pen were 10 month old males, the pen itself was set up to look like an old farm (hence the tractor) but the Devils were a little reluctant to come out.

The keeper I spoke to earlier was on duty to give some breakfast to the little guys and tell us more about them. Turns out their eyes are not too good (they are nocturnal after all) but they can hear and smell really well, so much so that they can hear another Devil crunching through bones and will head towards the sound to join in. After a while the Devils caught the scent of the fresh meat and made their way towards us,

In an adorable fashion.

And then

Adorable no more!

See what I mean about the front paws?

As the little marsupials tucked into their meal, the keeper told us about the facial tumour problem and how it spreads but also how they are not very vicious, they are also not good with team coordination, but as scavengers they don't really need to be. Also I should add that the food comes from a gunman, or to use the proper term a 'humane shooter'

The Devils went through the meat and bone like it wasn't a big deal and one even did a bit of an Oliver Twist,

I know he could bite through my finger like a 40 pound rottweiler, but aaawwwww.

Then it was another feeding session, this time for the Roos. So back over to the Roo area we went (a few more people had come to the park by now)

Girls, you may want to grab something to wipe your tears from your eyes as... well... remember the little Bennet's Wallaby orphan that I mentioned a few paragraphs ago? The one we couldn't see...

Ehem...

Here's me feeding him!

No doubt, if you are reading this at work, the whole office is wondering what you are Awwwwing at. Well, his name is Franky and he was handed into the park after being found on the roadside. Apparently there was an English girl at the park yesterday who spent 30 minutes feeding him. It's just as well because at his age he should still be with his mother, especially with winter coming in, so he needs all the help he can get.

The other roos were a lot bigger, not as big as the ones you get in the Western Deserts on the mainland, but when you see one chasing away a goose it doesn't take much to see how much strength they have.

Sorry, I couldn't resist

He's just so cute!

OK, here's the Forester ones again.

"Geese? GEROFF MOY LAAAND!"

"What's that Skip? You pushed Timmy down the well?"

I think that is enough roos for now. There are lots of birds as well at the park and they also do a free flying bird show twice a day like Taronga's, only this one doesn't have you sitting in the nosebleeds trying to photograph fast moving birds.

The show wasn't for a little while, but there are other birds,

And possums

Oh and this guy

Before the bird show there was another feeding for the Tassie Devils, two adults, actually a mating couple who hopefully are going to be parenting some young'uns soon (gestation is only 3 weeks). But the male was a bit of a noisy one.

They were quite the comic duo as the male grabbed the first chunk of meat and ran around with it in his mouth for five minutes before finally hiding in a den and eating it.

Those scars are a mating thing. Basically the female tells him to get lost and is also how the tumours are spread..

The females are often pinned by the males during mating and that is how the tumours spread to them. So it's basically an STD, only it's terminal.

World's first real life Pokemon battle!

And here's a Devil doing what the cartoon said they did.

Actually it turns out the cartoon has had a positive effect on the conservation efforts as the awareness of the Devils increased because of Taz. I was so much of a fan that I named a guinea pig 'Taz' because he used to run around in circles. Also the name 'Tasmanian Devil' has proven to be helpful as they just sound too cool to let them go extinct. But now it was time for the Kings of the Wind bird show.

This coin trick was done at Taronga Zoo too, but this bird took 3 coins and gave them all back, unlike the one coin in Sydney.

They also didn't have this Tawny Frog-Mouth, which sits in trees and rather than swooping down from a distance to catch mice it waits patiently for moths and other things to come to it.

You may notice this Peregrine Falcon is missing something. He flew into a power line at 300kph and damaged his wing to the point that after a year of trying to save it it had to be removed. The worst part is he still thinks he can hunt and tries to get at them.

And this is a Brown Falcon

Who happens to be a bad ass

But I still beat him in a staring contest

Oh, this is the same Frog Mouth as earlier, but in this image you can see his damaged wing. A result of a road incident.

But those little 'sensors' above his beak still work just fine though.

I felt really good about going to the conservation park, it is a really good way to start a morning and the work they are doing is well worth supporting. Plus I got to see Tassie Devils, which I promised myself I would do as, well, where better to see Tasmanian Devils than in Tasmania. But time was getting on and I also wanted to see Port Arthur today.

Now, I have put a link in the words Port and Arthur because there is a lot of history in this one place. A former penal colony it is now a tourist site (that was host to a terrible massacre in 1996, but I won't go into that). The site was also hit by a bush fire and before that was looted after it closed in the 1850's.

The gutted ruins are all that remain after that fire.

The site also played host to ship building, with a blacksmith and other workshops all in the same area.

The entrance was $32 for a 'bronze pass' which gave me a 20 minute boat tour and access to the buildings on site. The boat trip was my first port of call. And the rain was heavier than ever.

It was a great shame the rain was so fierce as... well... from inside the boat this was the view.

So like any other man I walked out to the deck for a better look, at the expense of my dry socks.

Not pictured: Trench foot

That's the Isle of the Dead, the colony's cemetery.

The trip was interesting. The guide talked about the first juvenile prison, an island off Port Arthur and the cemetery where the 'free' were buried with as much decoration on their graves as their families could afford and the convicts were put in unmarked graves.

I then hoofed it over the rest of the area. The rain was a real hindrance but in some ways made the experience a bit more authentic.

I should mention the card I was given after paying for entry. In short it's a playing card that you match up in the visitor centre to find out about a convict's story.

OOOH! What's in the box?

STEALING A PAIR OF BOOTS? Pffft, I was hoping for something a bit more exciting.

Why couldn't he just nail together some boots?

It's a great tourist attraction, had the weather been better I would have probably enjoyed it more, not that I didn't enjoy it. In fact the 'separate prison' was really good, it highlighted the point when British prisons stopped beating prisoners into submission and instead messed with their heads in an attempt to 'rehabilitate' them. EG. Let's lock Hatchet Harry up in a pitch dark room for 3 days, that ought to stop him killing people.

The rain was subsiding somewhat when I reached 'Remarkable Cave' just down the road from Port Arthur.

Remarkable.

The views were nice, not sure about the 'remarkable' cave though. Then I continued on to White Beach where I am now, sitting in the Aztec out of the rain.

Snoop Dogg was ere!

It would probably be really nice if the weather was also nice. But, hey ho, there you go. I hope it clears by tomorrow as I head up the east coast to see a few natural wonders.

South West Wilderness? Tasmazing!

2012-04-19T21:00:00.000+10:00

Yes, I wrote 'tasmazing' which I know isn't a real word, but whatever. Today I went to Par Avian at Cambridge Airfield to board a light aircraft. The aircraft would then fly fir an hour to Melalucea. That's the boring details out of the way, now lets go! <Cue Music>

A twin engined tin can that liked to wiggle around when 4000 feet in the air.

The red line was our route. You can click for bigger.

The route was simple, just go around the southern most point of Tasmania and land in the middle of nowhere. It was also the first time I've ever been in an aircraft that was in danger of being punctured by a stray pigeon.

Here was my view. So if we hit a mountain I'd be the first of the passengers to know.

"...And this button makes the wings fall off."

That little sand coloured patch in the middle? That's the landing strip.

I had a front row seat, past Bruny Island, over Cockle Creek (the most southerly point you can reach by car) and over the South Cape (The most southerly point in Australia) then, after a shaky last half hour, we landed on a small airstrip that was built by 'the' Deny King, who happens to be a bit of a legend in Tasmania (he died in 1991, so he's quite a recent legend). Then it was time for my camera to do the talking.

these are not just mountains, these are untouched for thousands of years mountains.

Yep, I did spell it right.

Then we would have to take to the water to get to Clayton's Corner at Port Davey. Yep, from the sky to the water, like the graceful and noble duck.

The boat of kings!

Water water everywhere, but this stuff is apparently drinkable (I didn't test that theory)

You may have noticed the weather conditions. For an area that sees over 100 inches of rainfall a year it was amazing. The warm breeze from the north east meant my hoodie went straight into my bag as soon as we landed, along with my redundant hat and gloves. This is supposed to be Tasmania, in Autumn, and the only water I got hit by was the spray from the boat as the pilot turned captain, Thomas, cranked up the speed once we got out of the 5 knots zone.

We arrived at the now public shelter to find a few fishermen already at the jetty. They had been catching crayfish earlier on in the day. That sounds like a great thing to do, just sail around in a huge yacht and catch fish... maybe I'll start saving, I'm sure I'll find a yacht on eBay for next to nothing.

They sell yachts on eBay, don't they?

Turns out this 'corner' is a popular place for passers by to just stay in a night or two, walkers and sailors alike.

And here's Clyde Clayton, he died in 2006 (but he did have a cool name) and his story was enough to be published into a book, that you will no doubt go and read now. Unless you buy books from Amazon.co.uk

Better than most hostels.

A short tea break and then a ten minute stroll up a hill to see, well, this,

Great stuff. It was also a chance to talk to some fellow travellers. A couple of Americans and the rest were Aussies, but I was the youngest and Englishest. There was one larger group of Aussies travelling together who seemed fascinated to see a backpacker come out to this area, which I found odd. I would have thought lots of backpackers would want to see one of the world's last natural wildernesses up close. To taste the air, hear the birds (seeing them is more difficult) and just spend a day in a place that is a natural wonder whilst they are here in Oz.

Back to the boats and on to a beach further up the harbour for lunch.

On the way we passed a small bunch of islands that were like a natural barrier against the rough Southern Ocean. Ships often come into the area to seek shelter when the sea is too rough, like 70ft waves too rough.

Just as an indicator, some of those islands are about 70ft high and sailors have seen waves crash over them.

On the way to the beach we also spotted a Sea Eagle, which is an awesome bird that is a sight to behold, so the complete opposite of my ex-girlfriend! Thank you, I'm here all week.

BEHOLD! As my mighty camera struggles to pick up this amazing beast.

That's enough bird spotting for now, as after a short walk on the beach it's lunch time!

If you bite into a pepper bush leaf, it tastes like pepper... then your tongue goes numb.

It's not dirty, it's Tannin (tm)

Clever girl....

The weather was still in the mid-high 20's, which even the Aussies were surprised about as we grabbed some really nice food (I'm talking Greek salad, smoked salmon, cheese and some local wine) some chose to sit in the shady spot, but I opted to sit in the sun on the beach with a few others, which was a good choice because it was nice, but bad because of European wasps! (Look away if you are Lauren)

'Où sont les bonbons?'

The wasps weren't really a big deal. The birds however were right little teases. In the small clearing where the food was laid out you could hear some amazing songbirds in the trees, but seeing them was nigh impossible.

THERE'S ONE!

So I took pictures of other things instead...

Holy teapot, Batman!

Then, it was back to the boats to head back to where we started. The sheltered waters of the harbour are home to platypuses and often dolphins chase mackerel into the shallower water to separate them and catch them easily. But we didn't see any of that. We did, however see rich people's boats

Then it was back on land, where things got a little bit touristy.

The Needwonnee were a Tasmanian tribe that lived in the area thousands of years ago, until us lot killed them all (basically). We walked along a well made board walk to catch a glimpse of how these people lived.

Here is an Aboriginal creation story, about the first man, Parlevar. I was going to just link it to a wiki article but Googling 'Parlevar creation story' yields no useful results, so here's each of the 6 walls big enough to read... hopefully.

Good story. Next we went to Deny King's actual house, where he lived for blimmin' ages! I want to read the book about him now (not right now, obviously) because he just sounds like an awesome guy.

Anybody that has wild carnivorous plants is pretty awesome already.

Plus he lived here.

Then it was time to fly back to Cambridge. I was in the middle of the plane this time as I was in the front on the way out. I didn't mention earlier that the headphones we were wearing actually patched us in to the chatter over the skies. I couldn't understand anything they were saying, but the reams of numbers and digits the pilots and air traffic guys were saying was quite interesting.

Hobart

And that was my day. Although kind of expensive, I think it was well worth it as I saw a corner of the planet I will probably never see again, from a vantage point I have never been before and it was glorious!
Tomorrow I intend on finally meeting some Tassie Devils (that aren't dead on the side of the road).

The Drive Of Your Life...

2012-04-18T20:43:00.000+10:00

Aztec and I, looking good at 10am

...Happens to be in Tasmania. The sweeping bends, the autumn leaves tumbling across the road, the hydro electric power plant, the hills, the valleys,

The Hill Valleys?

It's like a car advert, although I haven't seen many ads for converted people carriers wizzing around mountainside roads like this

The dented barrier is a sign that the barrier works.

The route was the only sensible one to Hobart, and it was a cracker! Aztec held up surprisingly well, taking each corner like she'd been built to drive country lanes rather than carry 8 people. The 3 and a half litre engine helped a bit on the uphill sections. It took about five hours to get to Hobart, in what should be the longest stint on the road during my time in Tassie, I left early enough to arrive in the state capital around lunch time. I parked Aztec by the water front and had a look about.

Lots of shops and people, but not at the water front, a mix of architecture from various time periods and the usual traffic. The city seemed like a bustling centre of business, but my view may well have been skewed by the isolation and quiet I had spent the previous 5 hours driving through.

The small tourist towns were a distant memory as I wandered through Hobart's city centre, although it did have a couple of unique outlets, namely a distillery/whiskey bar. I partook in a tasting of a couple of the whiskeys on offer and I was dissapointed by the more expensive 'distiller's choice' but my faith in Lark Distillery was restored by the standard single malt, which had a real spicy feel to it (I'm not good at describing whiskey).

I popped into the gallery/museum, which is mostly under construction, so the exhibits were slim. The Antarctic thing was good though, I didn't bother with the ancient coins bit though.

I'm sure this albatross was feeling fabulous.

Loner? Oh, right, the albatross.

Everyman should be prepared for an issue involving cigars

Then back to the waterfront after sending a postcard home. I had some Blue Eyed Tavasomething and chips from one of the little floating fish shops and set off to go to Seven Mile Beach, where I would be spending the night.

After a beer.

It's a Seven Mile Beach with nobody on it.

And that's me for now. Tomorrow I'll be heading somewhere not even a mighty beast like Aztec can tame, which is why I'll be light aircrafting to the south west wilderness first thing in the morning!

Ryan and Aztec in Beautiful Country

2012-04-17T20:44:00.000+10:00

Tasmania, day 1 and already I'm wondering why I didn't come here sooner. Oh yeah, money. Well if you have enough money to hire a camper van and drive around this island then do it, DO IT NAAAAOOOW!

I know my blog posts usually make you jealous of where I am but I fear you may well die of jealousy, so I hope your affairs are in order.

I started from Devonport after having my hair cut (because I'm like Samson, where if my hair gets too long I get too awesome and the universe can't handle it) and headed towards the south west to eventually end up on the west coast in Strahan (pronounced Straaan). The journey would take me down some amazing roads and through the kind of landscapes that are so distracting I think they should come with a warning,

Maybe they spent the 'warning' budget on the vampire super roos

My journey went through many small towns, like Tullah, Rosebery and the edge of a place called Zeehan, around Cradle mountain and up to Ocean Beach, but not in that order.

The road was like any other in the western world,

Tarmac with lorries on it

But occasionally you'd find yourself surrounded by trees before turning a sweeping bend and instantly the scene would change, like a poorly edited movie, see below.

Yawn

Gasp

I never got tired of the scenery ahead of me. It changed so often and dramatically that every turn in the road led me with anticipation on what was coming next.

The route I took was very much the scenic route and after about 4.5 hours of driving and stopping for pictures I made it to the campsite, then turned around and drove down a slightly rough road to Ocean Beach and then Macquarie Head. This was also the first time I've seen the Southern Ocean, which is nice.

I know this isn't exactly the most detailed blog post in the world, but there are lots of pictures coming up, so don't worry. (For some reason the pictures are in no particular order as Picasa decided to throw them in at random)

Rosebery... I think?

Mount Roland, masked slightly by cloud

Ocean Beach

My current residence and I

I'll be heading towards Tasmania's capital tomorrow, no doubt through some more breathtaking countryside followed by a special treat the next day. I'll try my best to actually write a bit more, but no promises!

Now, I'm pretty tired after a full day of touristing and sailing with 4 hours sleep in between, so I'm going to mess about getting this fold out bed sorted and fall asleep. G'night!

Come to Tasmania!

2012-04-17T07:51:00.003+10:00

My journey started with a single step, into Simon’s car and on to Ballarat train station to get the 10:17 to Melbourne. Then I got the 109 tram to Port Melbourne and then... nothing, as I couldn’t check in to get on the boat until about 5PM

Spirit of Tasmania II:Judgment Day

I dragged myself and my bag to look for a lunch serving venue and found ‘The Local’, an odd name for a pub that is about 10,000 miles from home. I had a pie and a pint and then set about doing nothing until 5.

After checking in I had to wait until 6 before I could go through security to board the vessel. There was a TV with the Australian version of Deal or No Deal on, which is rubbish. There’s just no connection with the contestant and they fly through the numbers like they have a gun pointed to their head. No tension building, no banker (just a number on top of the screen, rather than a number Noel Edmunds thinks of as he talks to himself) plus one of the prizes is a Peugeot.

So, clearing security I boarded the Spirit of Tasmania II : Cruise Control. Most of the decks are reserved for cabins, cars and trucks, but there are entertainment facilities (although these are reduced at this time of year) the only deck worth being on was 7, with the cinema showing Thor and a couple of bars, plus the souvenir shop.

Oh, and the arcade was closed.

There are two restaurants I could see, one looked a bit posh and the other didn't, but they were both for the wealthy as even the buffet one cost $25 for one plate! I went for that ‘deal’ and piled as much on that plate as I could without looking like Oliver Twist with an all you can eat gruel ticket and the rest is digestive history.

As I ate, the ‘what to do if we hit an iceberg’ video came on. In short there are slides, life jackets and life boats and all the other things that could have prevented every news channel banging on about the Titanic the past few days. The reassuring thing is if a boat has an engine failure it’s not a big deal compared to a plane suffering the same problem, plus a plane doesn’t have views of Melbourne at this angle,

Unless something is very wrong.

I watched Thor, then slept in my ‘ocean recliner’ at the stern which offered an ocean view at night, which isn’t too different to the view from the Euro Star when it’s under the Channel.

I awoke a few hours later to the sound of a loudspeaker telling me I could get off the ship at 6.30, great. But first a few pictures.

And now I’m sitting here waiting for my hire car so my Tassie adventure can begin.

Update: Here she is...

The Kia Grand Carnival! That's a bit wordy, so I will call her The Aztec, as AZT are on the plate. Sorted, now Aztec... Roll out!

No More Spud Packing

2012-04-14T18:32:00.001+10:00

Today was my last day packing spuds at Gregory’s, although I only spent half the day packing spuds, the other half was spent shovelling wet mud and rotten potatoes from the floor around the old washer to make way for the new washer. The smell was strong and the mud was in great quantity so after 4 hours of that I was more than ready to say goodbye and get back to Poverty Peak for the last ride on my bike.

Not to be confused with the wrestling move, which doesn’t feature a bike.

It wasn’t a bad job, packing spuds. Yes it got kind of boring sometimes but work is work and wages are wages and now I have a small buffer to keep me going when I get back to Melbourne after Tassie and possibly look for a job or look into moving west. But I’m not one to look too far into the future as doing so means one will always miss the present, which all too soon will become the past. My trip to Tassie is something I fully intend on relishing. All the campsites are booked, the camper van and Spirit of Tasmania were booked weeks ago and on Monday evening I shall be floating across the Bass Straight to Tasmania, which I am looking forward to immensely now I know there is an arcade on board,

Something that the Titanic was lacking, hence why all the young men were drawing naked pictures of Kate Winslet.

BUT THAT'S THE ONLY PART WORTH MAKING 3D!

That’s all the ‘news’ for today. Thursday I had the day off which meant a chance to spend the whole day in Ballarat, which I did. Here’s a bunch of photos of the various things I saw around Lake Wendouree as I whiled away the hours by the water side. I also had an ice cream.

I told you I had ice cream.

All very nice and I’m kind of pleased I’ve been to the town that effectively brought democracy to Victoria, but I won’t write all that here so here’s a link about the Eureka Stockade if you are interested in the tale of a bunch of miners sticking it to ‘the man’.

PS. I learned an AFL rule. If the ball hits the post it only counts as a ‘behind’ (1 point) even if it ricochets in for a goal (which would be 6 points, but it doesn’t count because it hit the post), I think?

PPS. Melbourne Demons are a crap team, at least judging by the game against Richmond that is on at the moment. Final score, Richmond 133 – 74 Melbourne... Ouch.

PPPS. Last night I watched an entire episode of Snog Marry Avoid, a show I would usually mark as ‘trash’ but when 10,000 miles away from the country it is set in I can’t help but feel a little nostalgia towards the regional accents.

And regional boobs

Goodnight everybody!

Expensive Easter

2012-04-07T11:40:00.000+10:00

So it's Easter, which means a few days off and maybe some chocolate. I was once happy to receive these gifts but at the moment I really want to save as much money as possible and having two days off has cost me $200, plus I've lost a bit of weight with all the cycling and that, so chocolate is something that isn't as important as I once thought.

Thursday I went to the market at Footscray because there was a problem with the date tags on the Aldi bags. Ati, Alan and I cruised down the road and in no time we were in the suburb of Footscray. A multicultural hub that was also known for having a problem with drugs and general unpleasant doings, not a place that is mentioned on the tourist maps.

To the wholesale market, just in time to see everybody packing up as we re-tagged the Aldi bags before picking up a free watermelon and flying back up the free-way to Millbrook. A nice break from the norm and a good deal of time spent doing nothing, which is what I would be doing for the rest of the Easter weekend.

Putting the loss of earnings aside I decided to spend my Good Friday killing time by riding my bike to a nearby body of water of which I know not the name, but it is by a pine forest, if that helps.
I turned off the road and down the bank to head under the train tracks, past the graffiti and dirty water to look upon an area of outstanding tranquillity.

Trains...

Profanes...

And garbage. (Couldn't think of a third rhyme)

Suddenly, none of the above.

I ditched the bike in some bushes and walked for a bit to found a distinct lack of anything. Normally I would assume there would be loads of things to photograph in a forest, but aside from the odd small bird and toadstool there was very little that caught my eye. The floor was a blanket of needles covering every inch of the ground and with it removing the chance for anything else to grow.

Except this guy.

I continued to follow the river downstream where it began to open out into more of a lake and now away from the road and train tracks there was barely a sound. The trees cracked as the wind tilted their heads and the water's movement was like a blanket of silk rippling in one direction. Two swans made their decent to glide past my vantage point and head upstream and it wasn't long before I headed in the same direction.

Not before a quick photo though

And another.

Back upstream I happened upon this little fellow warming in the sun

And with that I lifted my bike from the bushes and rode back to Poverty Peak. The wind had picked up now and was against me and had invited a cloud of rain to follow me. Fortunately the rain was polite enough to wait until I was inside the house before falling towards me. And that was that, so before ending this blog post here's a picture of a pony, I call her Dumpy, because she looks a bit, well, dumpy.

HURR DURR!

She'd probably make a good sidekick in a family adventure, so here you go Hollywood, my idea for a family adventure in which an Englishman and a pony have to stop a drug cartel from transporting drugs in kangaroo pouches...

Pony and the Pom
(This is the scene when the duo reunite to take down the bad guys after they reconcile their differences. It happens about 20 minutes near the end)

Instant $100,000,000 box office opening weekend smash!

Two Weeks 'Til Tassie

2012-04-01T11:15:00.001+10:00

I'm going to admit I'm already getting a little excited about going to Tasmania in just over two weeks, it's like a proper little holiday in that it will only last a week, will cost me lots of money and will no doubt be a whirlwind of tours and information and adventure!

Just like your holiday last summer.

My Spirit of Tasmania ticket is booked and I have secured a camper van for the moment I step off the boat so I don't have to worry about pesky hostels. I know some may say something about the cost but I'd rather pay $400 and go anywhere whenever I want than pay $200 and then have to spend a day waiting for buses to go to places I could have already woken up at! Yes, petrol is also a factor, but Tasmania is relatively small compared to the mainland states and it only takes about 4 hours to go from the top to the bottom, which is no longer than it would take me to drive to my family in York from my home in Essex.

Unless it's a bank holiday, in which case add 7 hours.

In preparation for my Tassie Tour I have taken to looking at a few websites today to weigh up what I want to see (and what I can see, as many parts are not accessible by car). So far I have noted to have a look around Hobart, Bruny Island, Wineglass Bay, Port Arthur, the north west coast (with its cleanest air in the world) and visit at least one Tasmanian Devil sanctuary.

What? He looks nothing like the cartoon character? I might not bother then.

Back to the present and I have also been trying to get into watching the AFL on TV, but the rules still escape me somewhat. It's still good to watch a bunch of guys clattering into each other as they chase a yellow egg around a cricket pitch.

Ooh! It's mine, MINE!

As the season has just started I wouldn't mind going to see a match at some point, of course like with most sports it's best to just follow a team to help get into it a bit more. So for the purposes of following the AFL for a season I shall adopt The Hawks as my team I am following, not supporting you understand, just following.

Plus their shirts seem to be of a poor quality.

I'm still packing spuds in the mean time and trying my best to keep my money in my own hands before going to Tasmania, then to South Australia where I will no doubt have to find a job as soon as possible. But that's like, three whole weeks away so I don't need to worry about that.

Portraits And Reminders of Home

2012-03-27T21:21:00.000+11:00

The cold weather is making some strong appearances here in central Victoria, which oddly enough is something I now realise I’ve missed. Riding to work in the morning with the stars as company and only the Moon giving evidence that the Sun still exists is something that will always remind me of the colder months back home, but the stars are quite different over here as is the crescent of the moon and no doubt the winter will not be the same either.

As somebody who is over 25% Scottish, 100% desirable and was born in October, I am more comfortable in a jumper and thick socks than sitting in ball soup. The colder weather is a great time to layer up with the old pleather jacket and hoodie combo (a Turbowolf t-shirt also helps) and go out to rule Ballarat for a day, which is what I did today by buying a new hoodie, some gloves and visiting the art gallery!

Yeah, I rule!

There was an exhibition for our dear old Queen with some of the best photos taken by former royal photographer, Cecil Beaton, I guess it's to mark the diamond jubilee of Elizabeth Regina’s time on the throne, which is a British event I will be in Australia for, like the Olympics in London and my secondary school reunion... oh and Download Festival. I’d better do some awesome stuff to make up for it and to tell back home when everybody else is talking about how brilliant the jubilee was.

Or when they reminisce over another riot

So, yeah, photos of her majesty. All very nice but many of them had her looking quite sombre.

Cheer up, love. You’re on all the coins now!

I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve licked the back of her head. In Australia I have to do with licking the back of a baby dingo.

The rest of the gallery was quite good, although I was expecting it to be one room full of ‘local artist’ stuff that wasn’t very good. But there were some nice works and a lot of rooms to drift through. There were a fair few British pieces depicting green hills and sleepy villages like those seen on boxes of biscuits in the pound shop.

Not pictured: England’s green and pleasant land.

The small section of ‘contemporary’ art was there to show how many straight lines some guy could paint but next to that was the Australian art bit. A collection of Aboriginal and Australian born artists’ work which displayed stuff like this,

This was elsewhere, but still Australian (hence the Eureka uprising thing going on)

But I especially liked this,

So much so that I think it could be my band’s next album cover... A quick Photoshop later and...

Shit hot and bad ass, I’m sure you’ll agree!

All very good, but now I had 4 hours to kill before I could get back to Gordon as Simon was working until 6.

So, I bought a t-shirt that was in the clearance bit of Target

I later looked around one of those punky alternative clothes shops that also sells bongs, I didn’t want anything, I was just killing time. However, the shop keeper asked me about my t-shirt and before I could answer she said ‘Turbowolf?’ at which point I readied myself for the usual ‘What’s that?’ but instead she said ‘I saw them supporting Monster Magnet a little while ago’. And for that I bought an AC/DC sticker as anybody who has heard of/seen Turbowolf deserves to sell me something of around $3 in value.

Went to Coles, got bananas, milk, toothpaste, apples and cereal. Exciting stuff.

Finally 6 O’clock came around and Simon was there to pick Ati and me up (I forgot to mention Ati was in Ballarat too, but she went to the library for the free internet)

Then I updated this blog.

A good day off, but I’ll be back to packing them ‘taters tomorrow and thinking about booking my travel/accommodation to/in Tasmania. Don’t expect too many exciting tales like the one you just read between now and then, but do expect some after then. In the meantime here’s an old ShitBad track, it’s an unreleased rare demo from the unreleased ‘Sausages’ EP that was never released because the song was a gift to Arran’s dog and releasing something you’ve gifted a dog is illegal in the UK.

And here's one more 'joke' about a painting.

Zorro was always the master of disguise

St. Paddy's Mother's Day

2012-03-18T16:30:00.001+11:00

As somebody who is neither Irish, nor a mother, this weekend is all about the start of the new F1 season! But the race doesn't start until 5PM so I'll just talk about what I did last night.

I ate green potatoes,

And drank Guinness,

In the company of my house mates.

There was some folking woman playing some traditional Irish folk music like Danny Boy, Whiskey in the Jar, The Lion Sleeps Tonight and Living Next Door to Alice...

Back off Chubby!

A good night at The Billy in Gordon, followed by the weirdest episode of Taggart ever made. It had something about ginger bread men and prostitutes and 'mudder', lots of 'mudder'! I especially liked how one witness, a ginger kid, kept coming to a detective with evidence and the detective (I think it was Nicky Campbell from Watchdog) was more bothered about his writer girlfriend than solving the 'mudder' of the kid's father.

Plus he was really concerned about people buying faulty washing machines.

Today is Mother's Day and like every mother lover reading this I sent a card, granted it wasn't a 'Mother's Day' card, but that's because it's not Mother's Day over here until September (I think) so a card with a picture of a Joey saying 'G'Day Mate!' is as close as I could get. Still, at least it got to England in time for my dear mother to open it on Mother's Day, which will be before my sister gives her card, so, you know, I'm the better child, clearly.

Maybe I'm the messiah? I do make excellent muffins.

And that's about it for this weekend. I rode down to Ballan again (puncture free) to buy a few bits for dinner (cottage pie, because we need to use up the free potatoes I got over a week ago)

Right, I'm going to do nothing until the race starts. Bye!

Still Packing Those 'Taters

2012-03-16T17:59:00.002+11:00

Working everyday has lead to my days falling into monotony. Work – eat – sleep – work – eat – sleep –rinse – repeat. To add a bit of difference to my day today I rode into Gordon on the way back from work for a bite to eat at ‘While the Billy Boils’. Chorizo and scrambled egg washed down with some good ol’ sarsaparilla (which was cool because there was some old 1950's style jazz music playing in the background)

Thankfully they didn’t play ‘Johnny Guitar’ once every 10 minutes like a certain video game.

Actually, music is something this cafe likes and tomorrow there will be some music in the form of ‘live’ (along with a deal on pizza) so I may have to treat myself again tomorrow!

In further ‘news’, Simon and Ati are at it (not right now, thankfully. More on that later). I knew there was something going on but now I know fo shizzle. I doesn’t take a Colombo to realise with the array of clues being shown.

Just one more thing... Keep the noise down.

The odd thing is they are either ashamed or worried I’ll be annoyed as they don’t seem to show any signs of affection when I'm around. Only when I have got up and left the room, then come back in because I forgot my iPod do they even cuddle on the sofa and only once I have been asleep for a couple of hours do they have ugly sounding sex in the next room. Honestly, it’s like a fat asthmatic lifting a heavy box as Minnie Mouse is repeatedly surprised. Justin Timberlake may well have brought sexy back, but it appears my house mates have just thrown it out again.

Justin doesn't seem too bothered.

I have only been awoken by their... um... ‘intimacy’ once, so maybe they have put each other off. I certainly wouldn't be too keen on getting back on a girl that squeaked more than the bed. There, now there's some gossip about two people you will never meet that you can share with all your friends (or just share the Timberlake picture, whatever)

Bananarama!

2012-03-12T16:43:00.002+11:00

Too many bananas to eat raw and in non-cake form in the house at the moment, so I have been practising making ordinary bananananas into muffins and cakes and ting!

Mashed banana mess, digivolve to...

Delicious banana cake!

As promised from yesterday's post, here are a couple of recipes I used to create some lovely banana based cakes (the second one even has Mars Bars in it!)

Have fun spending your money on two types of flour and two types of sugar along with all the other ingredients and the muffin pans and loaf tins you haven't got!

A Sunday Screw

2012-03-11T20:40:00.003+11:00

It's Sunday, what better way to spend a cool and sunny day than riding a bike to the local supermarket to buy cake ingredients?

But not bananas, we have lots of bananas.

The 'local' supermarket is 15K away in Ballan, a good distance to get one's blood pumping. Oddly enough, 15 kilometers is all I had to do as as soon as I reached this sign (pictured) my rear tire deflated.

The problem lay with my back wheel running over an up turned screw (which explains the title of this post) and the inner tube was torn with the equivalent of an axe wound running through it. I walked to the IGA super market and bought various bits including a muffin tray to make delicious muffins if and when I got back to Gordon!

He loves banana muffins

But before I could go anywhere fast enough I had to fix the gaping holes that were hindering my bike's performance. To the hardware shop, which was open on a Sunday, and straight to the tiny corner reserved for bike pumps and repair kits (the only things I needed, although those gloves are goo... NO TIME! I must fix my bike!)

I got the kit and took off the tire, assessed the damage and realised the tube was screwed, in more ways than one. I used two patches at first before realising there were more than two holes (as an actress said to a bishop). Turns out the screw had been a bit keen and had skewered my ride in several places on the rim side of the inner tube meaning I would need a bowl of water to find them all and I didn't have one of those with me, so off walking I went, because every 15 kilometers has to begin with a single step.

About half way through Seasick Steve's album, Started Out With Nothing, a man in a van with an event organiser logo plastered on the side pulled up along side.

He asked "Bike trouble? Or are you just walking?"

"Yeah, the back wheel has a puncture" I replied

He then asked where I was heading, which was Gordon, but you already knew that so I won't take up space by mentioning it.

Now, putting my bike into the back of a van that smelled like a dead person after "being to the tip today" probably doesn't sound like a great idea, but it was either that or walking another 11 kilometers.

You may be happy to read I was neither raped or mudered and arrived outside Gordon's pub in no time, so the next time a guy asks if you need a lift in his van, say yes, because the Daily Mail was wrong all along.

I had a cheeky few in the pub and my first bag of crisps for 3 months before slogging back the last few kilometers to Poverty Peak to cook up some muffins (after finally fixing the back wheel). I'll post the recipe another time, as they were quite nice.

Another small bit of news, Atti, the French girl here, is now working at the spud packing shed. Also, I cooked a banana based cake yesterday with some peanut butter in the mix and it was really quite nice.

So now I shall be getting ready for work tomorrow and packing a couple of extra muffins for the guys at the packing shed, seeing as that's where the bananas were given to Atti and I for free. Then I shall listen to Pink Floyd as I drift away for a good 8 hours before being rudely woken by my alarm. Then I shall work and come back tired and deflated before posting two brilliant banana cake based recipes. So, yeah, that's my attempt at a cliff hanger, smell you later!

PS. I don't read moon speak, but I asked a guy who does what the characters on the inner tube meant... He said "WAH YOO WAN? YOO WAN PWAN BAWS? SPECIAL FWY WICE?" so I Googled the answer instead...

Me-Love-Screw-Long-Time... Spooky!

NRL Season Begins And I Finally Visit Gordon

2012-03-04T15:59:00.000+11:00

Today was the 'rematch' between Manly and Auckland as the footy (rugby league) season starts up again. The first match is always between the finalists from the previous year, kind of like a charity shield match in England but as part of the league schedule so it carries more importance. I sat in the house as the match kicked off and realised something wasn't right, I wasn't watching sports with a beer in my hand! So I grabbed the bike and rode out to Gordon for the first time ever.

I have been here for over a month and have yet to actually stop into Gordon which is only 5KMs down the road from Poverty Peak. It's a village, pure and simple. It has one pub and a small shop/cafe and um...

A hat shoppe?

Anyway, bar.

I had a couple of cheeky brews and watched the game. It's a tiny bar, but the TVs work and the woman behind the bar seemed happy to chat about where I was from, what I'm doing whilst in Australia etc.

The match ended with a win for Manly and I left the Gordon hotel with a few blondes (that's the beer, Pure Blonde) and rode all the way back over the high way to do some laundry and sit about in the garden with my laptop as today is the first in about a week that it hasn't been raining constantly.

And that was the highlight of my day off, now I'm going to play X-Com UFO Defence which is a stark reminder that video games used to be bloody hard back in the day, not like the 'hold your hand as you do everything because kids get upset too easily these days tutorial level having even hard mode is too easy regenerating health' crap that is out nowadays.

Life doesn't have a tutorial level and neither does this!