My Best Day Ever...

Halloween Parade of Men

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 23:24:00 +0000

As I look back on the Men in my life, I am getting caricature pictures of them in my head. We all try to consolidate the good, the bad and the ugly into something we can make sense of and then move on...so here is my Halloween Parade of Men.

The Husband - 1989-1993
BIKER DUDE

Met at a party, 2 weeks later we moved in together, got married 8 months later, had a daughter 9 months after that, Divorced in 3 years. Not much more to say here than thanks for Kate, the best thing in my life.

The New Boyfriend/Fiance 1993-2001
The Charmer

Charismatic, entertaining and exciting..Think Humphrey Bogart/Frank Sinatra with the bad reputation and behaviors of Jack Nicholson. This guy did it all..he could dance..and I mean ..tap dance, play the drums and he could sing too. God was he fun..but what a heartbreak it was when it ended.

The Bachelor #1 - 2005-2007
Pirate Bastard

Sailor who drank too much and loved the ocean. We were perfect together.
A northerner ..thank god..and we had the bahamas in common as well.
Couldnt make a decision, sabateur,white lie teller and overall neurotic mess. Two needy people..who couldnt make it happen for one another no matter how hard we tried.

The Bachelor #2 - 2007-2008
SPORTS FANATIC/JOCK

What a doll...we both loved sports and had work in common too.
So nice and sweet and caring...but had a dark side I was unaware of.
Big Crisis..Chaos ensued..I got dumped without getting dumped..still friends but act as if we never had a relationship. Very weird and frustrating..he is still a bachelor and I am still confused.

The Bachelor #1 - 2008 - Current (that is questionable)
The Pirate Bastard AGAIN!

Yes..I know..its that love hate thing...We hate to love each other and we Love to Hate each other. Right now ..I hate to love him and he loves to hate me! We switch back and forth...absolutely dysfunctional..an intervention is needed.

So now I am at the point where I dont have any Boyfriends..meaning men i have intimate relationships with ..Only male friends that i know from work.
One in particular is the reason why this post has been created. I wrote this post..to figure out some way of putting the words BUCK WILD into my blog. So here it goes.

The Business Associate 200?-current (not sure when we were in Lauderdale with your old friends)
BUCK WILD (this pic is actually a real costume named Buck Wild)

This particular man is married and we are friends/business associates and that is ALL!! He has been married for a zillion years and I am so in awe of that! He is the reason why I started My Best Day Ever..because he was the one who reached out and offered me help. He is a positive force and a wonderful friend. We have the most hilarious business lunches and we need to have more. Buck Wild is his wishful thinking, wannabe Porn Star name. He makes us call him that! Even his guy friends...or what he lovingly refers to them as his Bromances..lol

Get out of that man cave, take off the manzier, Festivus is upon us ..lets Party!!! This ones for you Buck!

Sausage in Polish Sauce

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 00:09:00 +0000

This is one of my favorite Polish recipes!!

I have made this for over 15 years now to rave reviews.

It's a great alternative to Chili on a cold,blustery day

Served with a warm pumpernickel bread..

Sheer Perfection!

Ingredients

2 onions, sliced

3 TBS Butter or Margerine

Ring of Polish Sausage ( about 1-1/2#)

1-1/2 C beef bouillon

12 Ounce of Beer (yeah)

2 TBS Flour

1 TBS White Vinegar

2 tsp brown sugar

3/4 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

4 to 6 Boiled Potatoes

Saute the onions in 2 TBS of butter until golden.

Add Sausage, Bouillon and Beer

Any kind of beer you have on hand works!

Simmer for 20 minutes

Blend flour in to remaing 1 TBS of Butter

Stir into pan. Add vinegar, brown sugar,s&p.

Add Potatoes.

Cook over Medium heat 10-14 minutes

Serve it up with a brown bread or any kind you like

ENJOY!!

NA ZDROWIE!!

The Sunday Cyber "Im Screwed" List 11-1-09

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:10:00 +0000

Its Sunday...and I have been sitting on my butt now for a day and a half. This month I spent 4 days having a garage sale with my business partner, Alanna..The first weekend we attempted this we managed to put out eveything we dont want to own anymore, for about an hour before the heavens decided to open up and cleanse of our sins, our stuff and any money to be made that day!

This past Thursday and Friday we tried again in 90 degree/100% humidity weather. I broke the Guiness Book of World Records in the Butt Crack Sweat Marathon (sorry..no pics available), prevented a UTI by consuming a few too many Vodka and Cranberry Juice Coctails and I made 60 bucks and gave 20 back to the GoodWill Bookstore...I am a sucker for booze and books..don't Judge me!

So my "Im Screwed" List is shaping up as follows:

1. Post a Blog entry!
2. Get the Sunday Paper
3. Clean out the cat's box ( just the clumps..no major overhaul..thank god!)
4. Finish the laundry ( finished two loads already but missed about 5 crucial pieces that were hiding in between sheets and under the bed, might as well do the sheets while im rummaging around in there)
5. Put away my Halloween Decorations..I hate that part! What a pain..hardly worth the effort to put them up.
6. And here is the worst one of all: Drag my Knitting that I screwed up a few weeks ago because I was KUI (knitting under the influence) I can't even tell you how mad I am about that. I stuffed it all in the bag , chucked it in my closet and havent look at it since...but today is the day I am going to come to terms with
my issues.

Now I could add mop the kitchen floor, vacuum the livingroom and clean the bathrooms which would make me look like a proper Betty Homemaker.but even I cant bring myself to lie...even to you guys...Im not doing ANY of those things today...or possibly anytime in the near future either...Return of the Kitty Zombies!!

So off I go to ~~sit on my butt~~.. get something done..wish me luck!!
Until Tomorrow....It's all Good!!

A GoodWill Holiday

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 19:33:00 +0000

From now on, all my Xmas presents will be chosen from Goodwill, various Hospital Auxillary/Church Thrift Stores, a garage sale, shit i dont want anymore or from some other cheap ass place..ie..the side of the road.

Wouldnt that make it easier for everyone and help others at the same time!!! It's awesome when you think about it...You can be needy, help the needy and give to the needy all at the same time!! Let's stretch it even further and say..you are contributing the "GREEN" movement by re-gifting and re-cycling slightly used but usually loved by someone with bad taste(not really)..Stuff!!

Im not kidding around either, so all the people who read this that are actually recipients of a gift from me at xmastime..can stop laughing and start hoping they havent pissed me off this year.

And if you are thinking..."Well..she isnt going to get what she wants from me then...that is fine..cause..I dont need anymore STUFF..i have STUFF coming out my Ass...and my ass is HUGE these days!!

Listen, Im not trying to be cheap or bitchy or Grinchy or whatever...Im just kind of fed up and I dont care who knows it anymore.

I am grateful that my mother actually said to me this year..."I am just going to give you a gift card to a store you like to shop in..instead of buying you all that STUFF you dont really want or need"...OK...GREAT..Im
Psyched!! Let's take it a step farther though, How about a Gift Certificate to the CASH STORE!!!

HELLO..put the green stuff in a box and wrap it with all that prettty paper you bought last year at 90% off the day after Xmas...Really..hell if you are hung up on me not having the precise amount of presents to open (I'm 44 and not counting anymore)..wrap up the beans in the increments of your desire in their own separate boxes and I will be happy to open them all and OOH & AHH at each sweet little stinky dollar that is in there which has already been designated for for the FPL,BRIGHTHOUSE and MORTGAGE store.
(Mom and Stan (Dad)...I love you and will be happy just to be with you at the holidays!!)

OH Can we all sing "DECK THE HALLS - WITH BEANS OF PAST DUE !!!"" FA LA LA LA LA..oH sCREW yOU!!!

STOP: Im not really past due ......YET..but if I go to the Mall and buy eveyone what i think they want or need at those stores that run those ads on TV every damn day..that make you feel like a cheap ass if you arent spending your last dime on someone else..I WILL BE PAST DUE !! and Im too smart for that!!!

So ..it's A GOODWILL CHRISTMAS this year ..

IT'S ALL GOOD...

SAD Six Word Saturday

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:35:00 +0000

Disloyal

Dysfunctional

Destroyed

Cut the Ties

Mojo Chicken with Black Beans and Rice

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 20:08:00 +0000

I love cuban food. Living in Florida I have grown accustomed to it. That is one good thing they do down here! Cuban Food. Of course, I can only do what a single white female is capabale of..and that is the generic , easy version of Mojo marinated Chicken with canned black beans and Uncle Bens white rice.

So I usually have some roasted chicken breast, bone-in /boneless laying around the fridge which I would coarsely chop..but this time I had a whole chicken that was taking up space in my freezer and I couldnt fit in my tub of Friendly's Ice Cream. Yes I roasted a whole chicken..its easy and simple..so Im not going to post the recipe..just the cool pics.

Before

After

I did quarter a whole onion and chopped up fresh Rosemary from my herb garden and stuck it inside the bird.

Ok..so I chopped up a bunch of chicken , coarsely and put it in a frying pan on med/low heat with about 1/4 cup of Mojo Marinade...this is just to give the chicken some flavor and heat it up.

I chopped up about 1/4 C of Onion and 1 clove of Garlic and put it in a hot small saucepan with about 1 TBS of Olive Oil, cook a few minutes until onion is translucent and the garlic is not brown. Pour in a soup sized can of Black Beans with the liquid and just cook on med/low heat until hot. I also put in s/p and Crystal Hot sauce to taste.

I have already cooked 1 cup of white rice in a pot..you can cook whatever kind of rice you like, whether it be white, brown, minute rice..whatever you can get done fast and easy. I cooked my rice with coconut water this time and it gave the rice a sweet flavor that really went well with the savory of the chicken and beans.

This is really easy to make for one person or 6 people and its sooo yummy..but be careful with the black beans..farting will ensue with a vengenace..you have been warned!

Single Girls Pizza

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 18:50:00 +0000

If you read my blog, you know Im single..woohoo.

I love pizza but I am also extremely picky about the
pizza I eat.I am from New York..the place of
the Pizza Gods. There is no better place on
this earth to find a slice of pizza

that can actually make you cry out in pleasure

and in pain at the same time..

(think greasy/salty/yummy and HOT)

But...since I live in Florida it's very , very difficult to find GOOD food much less New York Pizza!!

Believe me I have tried and I have been disappointed more

times than I have picked bad boyfriends and believe me that is alot of times!

So i went in search for a good Frozen pizza. DiGiornos and Freshchetta are pretty good but I found one

that I just crave and in all places WALMART..a place I loathe..oh god..the people, the parking , the nightmare of it all just gives me the willies...but their Take and Bake Pizzas are Phenomenal!!

My Favorite

The Tuscan Vegetable & 6 Cheese Pizza - 12"

This pizza is soooo yummy!! You just have to Try it!

Thats why its my choice for the Single Girls Pizza Recipe!!

It has mushrooms, green, red and yellow peppers, red onions,tomatoes

black olives (i think) and more..PLUS

SIX CHEESES!!!

It even looks good Frozen!

I slide it off the cardboard circle into a 375 Degree oven

for 13 minutes..thats it! Slide it back out onto the cardboard

and you are ready to Chow Down!!

I get about 6 decent size slices out of this 12" pie.

I paired it with a Sam Adams BlackBerry Witbier which is awesome

and has a slight sweet start but finishes full ..great beer that Sam Adams

The best thing about this pizza is that I have leftovers for lunch.

Depending on how starving and/or piggish you are this pizza could

feed you at least two more meals...in fact I wil be enjoying this

pizza from Friday ..Today!!

So I realize this is more of a review than a recipe but it is too good not

to spread the word to other Pizza Lovers who have No good pizza joints and limited funds.

This pizza was on sale this week at Walmart for $5.00!! I bought Two!

Enjoy!

Na zdrowie

The Sunday Cyber "Im Screwed" List 10/11/09

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:31:00 +0000

Well Im already screwed today, I took a tylenol pm last night and didnt get up until 10:30 this morning. Added to me waking up so late..I think a neighbor rang my doorbell but Im just not sure..things were kind of hazy this AM..but if they did..they are probably either pissed that I didnt answer the door or worried that I fell down and cant get up...either way...Im screwed.

Anyhoo..I want to give you an update on last Sunday's Screwed List ( these are the things I actually got done):

**wrote the blog
**picked up the paper,cut out and organized the coupons

**unpacked my suitcase and swepts up the kitty zombies and as an added bonus, made my bed . This bedspread I usually have folded away and the pillows stacked on top of the purple ottomon on the side of my dresser. I cant sleep with this bedspread because it is DRY CLEAN ONLY and my cheap and dirty ass isnt paying for that! But it looks so nice!!!

**put the covers back on the couch cushions just so my cats, Clementine and Spirit can get them full of their hair and bodily fluids all over again.. ( i left the plastic on the foam..as a precaution)

**Decorated for Halloween - The first pic are pumpkins I made in Ceramics Class that I took with my mom in my early twenties..I have named them after people that look like them..some I know and one I wish I never had heard of... from left to right ..George (not Bush), Barrry and Joe Biden (the little guy in the middle has no name)

**Cleaned up the storage room - all the cardboard boxes and bags you see in the front are all going to be in a yard sale this coming weekend..and there is some great stuff in there i have been hauling around for the last 15 years...its PURGE TIME!!

**I started knitting the Scarflette to go with the flower I made last week...its coming along but Im still a novice and have to rip out rows and rows of screw ups!! But I wont give up!

Well that was the update from last weeks Sunday Cyber Im Screwed List. Not bad huh..this cyber list thing is actually working for me!! This week Im only going to add a couple of things as I will be busy preparing for the garage sale.

1. Clean OUT the cats boxes...which doesnt mean scoop the poop ..it means empty that nasty litter and throw it away and hose out the boxes...I HATE HATE HATE this Job!!! thank god there is no Smell-O-Vision yet!!

2. Clean the Kitty Lanai

3. Go through my outside storage area for garage sale items and organize it when Im done!

So Thats all for this Sunday's List...the best part about the Sunday Cyber Im Screwed List..is that it takes me so long to post it...I dont have any time to start anything ..so I get an extra day...lol...see what I mean about getting myself out of things.....I dont even have to try..it just comes naturally!!

Have A Super Sunday everyone and a Great Week!!

Until Tomorrow..Its All Good!!

Thursday 13: Red Sox Love

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 03:53:00 +0000

After seeing the Thursday 13 over at Matty Thoughts, I had to post my own in honor of the Red Sox..big night for them tonite..and its hard to pay attention to the game and do this at the same time. If there are alot of typos ..you know why!! Thanks Matty for inspiring this post.

I LOVE THE REDSOX

I LOVE BUD LIGHT LIME

I LOVE THE PRE-GAME

PARTY AT FERGS SPORTS BAR

I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH ALANNA

EVEN IF SHE IS A RAYS FAN

I LOVE HAVING SEATS 3 ROWS

AWAY FROM THE SOX DUGOUT

I LOVE DUSTIN PEDROIA

I LOVE JACOBY ELLSBURY

I LOVE JASON VARITEK

WHO DOESN'T LOVE BIG PAPI??

I LOVE MIKE LOWELL

AND HIS BUTT

ACTUALLY ALL BUTTS IN

BASEBALL UNIFORMS

I LOVE YOOOOOOOOUUUKKK!!!!

I LOVE REDSOX FANS

I LOVE THE REDSOX

AND THE FACT THAT

ALANNA IS DRIVING HOME

LET'S GO REDSOX

CLAP CLAP - CLAP CLAP CLAP

PHEWW 11:52 PM EST ..JUST MADE IT

I am a Weener!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 23:52:00 +0000

I can't put it off any longer...my catholic guilt is getting to me.

A wonderful thing has happened!

Not ONE but TWO awesome bloggers have bestowed upon me an Award!!

All in a matter of 3 days!!

I am soooo not worthy!!! but..ahem..I am honored that they like what I write about and actually signed up to read more!!! I bow down and kiss their blogger rings in absolute gratitude!

Thank you a million times to Allison at Life of a Tater Tot Mom and Angela at Angela's Soliloquy
for giving me the "ONE LOVELY BLOG AWARD"

As with the bestowing of any crown ( think..Miss Usa ...err.. Maybe not) there are rules that must be adhered to: The rule is to choose 15 other bloggers "I have newly discovered" and pass this award on

to them. Hmmm..this might pose a problem as I am a virgin blogger myself..and basically hang out with the

more seasoned bloggers ~~to copy their ideas~~ gain insight and learn as much as I can about the blogging community. Fifteen is alot to ask of a newbie...and no promises..but I will do my best!

1. Itkuplli (Kirsi) at *Cute 'n' Cool Backrounds* I spent so much time looking at all her beautiful art before I chose my FREE background...it took me forever..all her work is awesome. She truly is a digital artist and she is a great help to newbies with her Tutorials Page..without which I would never have been able to figure out just about everything, on my own.

2. Julie at Aprons by Julie she has the prettiest pink blog and the Aprons are FaBulOuS!! I mean RETro cHIc!!! I just love them!! All handmade in beautiful colors and patterns, reversible too..SEXY..my idea is to wear them with a tank top underneath with a pair of Skinny Jeans...Why Not!! Dare to be Different..These are not your Standard Hum Drum Aprons!!! She is also Giving Away an Apron a Week to a lucky follower..so Go there !!

3. Matty at Matty's Thoughts who has been the best blogging buddy to me!! Everytime I post , he is there with a helpful, supportive comment. He is a funny writer and a family man.. Check out his Dear John Post..It

cracked me up..I still think about it and I read it awhile ago...Thanks Matty for all your support and kindness.

4. Ina at iNa She is new to blogging just like me but she is open and honest and writes about her trials in this ever changing economy and her wish to find love...something we have all experienced at one time or another..Show her some Love ..and visit.

5. Jeannette at But The Wheels Fell Off another lovely lady new to the blogging community..but boy can she write...and she writes about alot of people and places I know.. we are related by an indirect marriage of cousins....funny and sweet, heartwarming and ridiculous..she has got it all.

Well folks..I would be feverishly searching through blogs to find Newly Discovered blogs to give a random award too...but like I said, most of the blogs I have been following since I started a month and half ago are well established and already have this award... and apparently some people get peeved when they are given an award...so I am going to end the lovefest here.

On to my second round of thanks-- I won A GiveAway Contest too!!

The lovely ladies at Mermaids of the Lake chose my name out of many entries

to win this fabulous bracelet !! I can't tell you how excited I am to recieve this beauty.

The mermaids are a trio of awesome, creative women with an informative and fun blog..so check

out the gals as soon as you can!!

So let me say this a few more times:

Danke! Dziekuje! Gracias! Kiitos! Merci!

THANK YOU!!

Fried Cabbage w/ Kielbasa

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 01:30:00 +0000

What's Cookin at The Mermaid's Table?

Since I love to cook, I decided to add a new dimension to MyBDE with The Mermaid's Table. I will be featuring yummy recipes I have tried as well as long time family and personal favorites. I will try and post meals as they happen in my kitchen with tips, tricks and instructions. I am single so don't think a new recipe will appear everyday..hell..much less every week..but when I do get around to making something awesome..be prepared to put on a few pounds!! I welcome all comments on variations, improvements and/or pretty much anything you feel you would like to say!!

You are probably thinking.."What does this have to do with your BDE" well my answer to that is..when I'm bored or I feel down there is nothing like being creative to take your mind off things. I put on my favorite music or a baseball game and pretty much behave like I am an Iron Chef..( just slightly - challenged).
Some people go to the gym..(yeah ..good for them..really ..I'm Jealous) Some people Clean ( ah..Deb) Some People Drink ( who doesn't .at least no one I know) So Cooking for me is something that calms my tortured soul..and satiates ( for a short time) my demanding and extremely large appetite. When I'm doing these types of creative things..I feel Good..so..it just adds to My BDE.

On to the first Recipe: SOUTHERN FRIED CABBAGE

I have grown up eating cabbage..I'm Polish..I make Golabki (stuffed cabbage rolls) every Christmas..much to my dismay at the stinky fart smell in my condo that lasts for days!!! But I do it because everyone loves it ( and because my mom would never let me forget it if I didn't) It's my grandfathers recipe..but that one is for later...
SOUTHERN FRIED CABBAGE WITH KIELBASA*

Ingredients:
7/8 or as many as you want slices of bacon (mmmmm)
1 head of cabbage (cored and coarsley chopped)
1 TBS White Sugar
Salt and Pepper to Taste
3 TBS BUTTER
1 1 lb Pkg Hillshire Farm Polska Kielbasa
(Or any kind of Sausage you like)

Directions:
1. Fry up the bacon in a deep skillet, remove and set aside.
2. In that same skillet with that hot , yummy, fat-free bacon grease..throw in that chopped up cabbage and stir to coat with the fat-free grease as best you can, chuck in the butter, salt, pepper and put a lid on it..
3. Cook that heavenly cabbage on a medium heat ,covered, stirring that smelly goodness around occasionally. I left it on the stove for a good 30 minutes..I like my cabbage limpy and soft..but with just a little crunch..you can test it yourself ever 15 minutes or so. the cabbage gets all brown around the edges, almost carmelized..but not quite.
4. When its just about done to your liking..cut up your kielbasa (or whatever sausage you choose) ( I cut into 4" chunks) and put right on top of the cabbage...cover and cook another 10 minutes or so..
5. Crunch up the bacon and sprinkle it on top and YOU ARE DONE!

My beverage of choice was Samuel Adams: Irish Red -- I have never had it but I LIKED IT!!

I really enjoyed this meal..it had just a slight amount of sweetness which nicley complemented the savory flavors..very, very yummy..if you like cabbage.

Oh and the stinky fart smell is quite minimal as its only cooking for 30-40 minutes compared to my 2-3 hours for the Holiday Golabki!!

na zdrowie (sounds like:Naz-dro-vyeh")

( polish for health, idiomatically, to your health - basically it means Cheers) when sharing a drink,just say it when you clink glasses

The Sunday Cyber "I'm Screwed" List

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 14:48:00 +0000

I have a list.
A list in my head of the things I want to do today.
I don't write these things down for a few reasons.

1. I would have to stick to them..too much pressure
2. If I see them all at once, it would be overwhelming and I would end up blowing all of them off.
3. I would lose the list and find it a year later stuffed in the dark recesses of my wallet..which of course is devoid of any green stuff so why would i even look there to begin with.
4.If I wrote down a Things To Do list..it would just lead to thinking of things I would like to do ( not have to do or need to do) and then I would have two lists..( lists multiply like bunnies)

See this list is getting longer and longer just because I'm writing a list.. Its gotta STOP!!

Funny thing is..I'm doing one of the things on my mental list right now! Posting on my Blog!! Yeah..Numero Uno is Almost Done..brain don't fail me now. So, now I'm thinking..lets kill two birds with one stone and make a CYBER ( old school web term I cant stay away from)LIST..of the things I NEED,WANT or just plain HOPE to do today...I won't lose this list..and I'm certainly not going to carry it around with me..and if I don't get everything done..I just will never read this post again..YES!! I'm DOING IT!!

What I am currently doing is Mind F'ing myself into believing that I will actually check off each item on this list today..or at the very least make the pretense of actually TRYING to get some of them done.
I just love how I can get myself off the hook for just about anything....
THE SUNDAY CYBER TTD LIST (TTD - Things to Do)
AKA
THE SUNDAY CYBER "I'M SCREWED" LIST

1. Post on My Blog - Check - The day is not a total failure as is obvious by this post..YEAH!!

2.Unpack my suitcase from the business trip I took 2 weeks ago - Really I have no excuse!

3.Sweep up the tumbleweeds of my hair , my cat's hair and general dirt and lint that are trying to form itself into another entity for me to take care of..( the image of Frosty the Snowman coming back to life from a puddle of water..think dust and cat/human hair rising up into some Kitty Zombie of some sort...I better get on that)

4.Put the clean covers back on the couch cushions..I've been sitting on plastic bags for just about 2 weeks now (the tin foil is to keep the cats from ~~scratching~~ peeing on my already soiled couch cusions-Gross I know..but cat lovers..you understand..)

5. Go to the store and buy a newspaper for the coupons,cabbage and bacon for a new Fried Cabbage Recipe Im just dying to scarf down...How random is that..

6. Clip the coupons from last weeks sunday paper AND this weeks as well.

7. Begin to put up some Halloweenie decorations (or is that just my last boyfriend trying to escape?)

8. Clean up and organize the spare room which is now my storage space. ( this one is not realistic at all - but its bugging the shizzle out of me like a nasty toothache you let go too long cause you dont have enough balls to go to the dentist and you think it will just take care of itself - in time)

9. Start knitting my first Scarflet...to go with the flower I knitted at 1:30 in the morning ( I'm Obsessive when I start something new- I still have to put a bead or button in the middle- it's a work in progress)

10. My final entry: Remind myself that LISTS are BAD!! BAD!! BAD!! and NEVER, under any circumstances, should I ever make one again!!

Look at all that crap I need to do..when I just want to sit on my keister, watch football, knit..read my favorite blogs..chat on my cell phone..have a few too many beers....but because of this damn list ..IM SCREWED!!!
I know its here..just like the mess in my spare room..and now i have to do these things for fear that some Cosmic List Fairy...may sprinkle more shiz rain down on my head if I dont do the things on this list because I gave life to them..BY WRITING THEM.ON THIS LIST!! DAMN IT!!

Until Tomorrow..Its All good!

Blog Hop - 3 Practical Things

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 06:41:00 +0000

THREE THINGS EVERY PARENT SHOULD TEACH THEIR KIDS
I took a more humorous approach to this but still realistic

1. If you have to fart..Don't!
Its a Crap Shoot - It may be ok..it may not be ..err on the safe side!

2. Mommy/Daddy has Turrets Syndrome
You should not mimic her/him..its just not polite to make fun!

3. Deoderant is MANDATORY
Your personal odor has nothing to do with pheramones.
You Stink and its NOT attractive!!

Special thanks to Purell Hand Sanitizer for sponsoring this blog hop.

"Turd" is the Word

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 22:41:00 +0000

I just stumbled across a blog with quite a memorable title..

Don't Pick Up the Turd

I'm not gonna lie...I thought it would be a funny blog..turds are funny..The word "turd" is funny
I mean..who wouldn't click on that, it's freakin..funny..and who doesn't like
toilet talk.. ( well ..my mom ..hates it!! but she is screwed..our whole family
is full of it..literally)

but wait...don't expect poopy prose or crappy quotes....this blog post
goes quite a bit deeper...and if you read through..( and for some..you may want to stop
amidst the english lesson..but keep going..its worth it) you migh just come out the
other end cleaner than when you went in... its a Blogoscopy.. for your brain.

I hope the owner of this blog doesnt get pissed that i blogged and linked to his stuff but I really liked it and it was on a post that said he/she wanted more readers..I just got lucky that it wasnt about somebodys vacation to the Cape or Instructions on how to make a pot holder. I mean cookies and cake are good but I want some meat! lol not sure that sounds quite right but ..in my mind it works.

Don't be afraid..we are full of shiz...click here

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noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 01:20:00 +0000

From now on..you get what you give...

Whenever I have missed a call and someone takes the time to leave a message, I do my best to call
back within a reasonable period of time. Reasonable being within 1 day..depending on what time the call came in. Mostly I call back the same day. I don't like to wait..so I'm sure others dont care for it either.
Now, that policy is purely for the standard phone call. Nothing pressing. No emergenices. The person left a brief message...and just wants a call back. No Problem..speed dial baby, I'm on it.

Now, when you are in some kind of altercation, argument or highly-charged situation with another person..a call back is MANDATORY..within and hour or two of receiveing their message. If circumstances are beyond your control..ie...Your dead, have just been assigned to the Federal Witness Protection Program or your dog ate your phone...48 hours then becomes acceptable for either your parole officer, your last known friend or the Vet to return your message for you....BUT if you are self-employed, playing tennis or being a BarFly...etc...etc...as soon as you are done..the call should be made..OR better yet...when you KNOW you NEED to make the call..DO IT BEFORE you go play tennis, go drinking or whatever lame ass excuse you think will get you out of being a decent, responsible and accountable human being.

Obviously, this is personal..Obviously, I'm a little Peeved. I am an adult and I try to behave like one..but damn its hard not to stomp my feet and scream like a Bridezilla left at the altar when I am dealing with an immature,egomaniacal,conversationally-challenged, waayyyy past middle-age still thinking he's 20, walking around in a Social Coma MAN. (this is not looking good for me)

So from now on..leave a message..I will call you back...eventually!!!

Yes, I'm complaining...I'm going against a Cardinal Rule of MY BDE..but I'm still learning.

My energy is being wasted..but the bad energy is also being expelled.....big sigh....

Until Tomorrow...It's All Good

Day 17: Bad Girls

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:16:00 +0000

Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned.
I have not written anything in 10 days!!!

For my penance, I shall drink 2 Bud Light Limes and watch Flipping Out on Bravo..aaahhhh..forgiveness is good and I am grateful.

Being grateful is very important to having your BDE as it promotes that feeling of happiness and goodness that lurks deep inside..( or at least its pretty deep in me) so with that being said:

What I am grateful for  is my my best friend in the entire galaxy!!!
She lives in Connecticut and I live in Florida.
I received a text from her Wednesday afternoon and it went like this:

"Hey, just heard Bad Girls on the radio of course makes me think of you..miss you so much"

We are so different ..she is nice and I am caustic. She is sweet and I am sour. She is quiet and well compared to me , anyone is quiet. Let me put it this way..she possess all the qualities I do not have and I can only hope some of her goodness rubs off on me..Im sure it has..its just slightly diluted.

Debbie is her name, but I like to call her my Angel on this Earth. We have been friends since September of 1979. I was 14 and she was 15 when we met in highschool. I was the new girl ..with a "huge chip on my shoulder" and Deb made it her mission to knock it off. Well I don't know if she succeeded in knocking off what was really a concrete boulder  ..which if you knew me actually makes my right shoulder dip about 4 inches lower than my left ...but actuallly grew to love me and that large boulder equally.

Val (debs sister),Laura and Deb

We spent many,many,many friday nights smoking cigarettes ( she taught me how to inhale and I almost died at the local deli of embarrassement when I turned purple because I couldnt breathe!!) drinking quarts of Miller (all i needed was the beer cap back then..she drank the rest) behind the Binnekill Square Restaurant,

I'm in the Germany Shirt-I'm Polish Actually

freezing our asses off outside that same deli waiting for the HOT guys to drive by and basically just growing up together. I remember when her and her sister Val ( my other BFF) got into the Honor Society and I didnt. We all had the same good grades and joined all the same clubs..( we are the ones with halos over our heads...and i DID NOT put them there...they just appeared....Really!!)

but Deb told me I didnt get in because the other members all thought I was a loud mouth. I will never forget that...she told me right to my face..without judgement or concern..it was just a fact...I was a BIG MOUTH and that was just the way it was...ok.. so it was true..still is..SO WHAT...no one ever messed with me or my friends.

We graduated High School in June of 1982. I cant even believe how old we are now...god that sucks...but I digress.. I was 16 she was 18. I went to Plattsburgh State way up in the friken coldest part of NY by the Canadian border and she went to Mohawk Valley..which is not as north but still frikin cold ..(deb hates the cold by the way and is sooo jealous I live in florida) At some point in highschool I thought we had decided to go to the Fashion Institute in NY together..but that memory is really hazy...not sure if its even true..but..I think it is. Deb was voted Best Dressed and something else too..like ..Nicest person ever to Grace this Earth..something like that....and I held no title at all..atleast none they would print in a yearbook.

We went our separate ways for years...we wrote each other in college, visited on our breaks during Thanksgiving and Christmas and basically touched base every once in a while just to make sure the other person was still alive. I have to tell you..no matter how many years it was in between conversations..it was like we had just talked the day before..Time had and still has no bearing on our friendship. We have the truest and purest form a "friendship" can manifest. I cannot even begin to tell you how grateful for this friendship I am but I am trying.

Through the years,we had both gone through tough times , Debbie, worse than I......but in 1989 I got married.

She was a bridesmaid in my wedding.

Val, Nancy and Deb

She ran out to meet me when i arrived at the reception with a cocktail in hand made especially for me...(I hadn't even gotten out of that damn horse and carriage ..stupid mermaid wedding dress) She was that good!! That is a True Friend right there!! I never needed a drink more than at that moment.

That year we actually lived in the same town in Connecticut for the first time since highschool...it was heaven!!! She had gotten married a month or two before me ..we spent our honeymooner months together..which quickly turned into our first (and only for both of us) pregnancies. How awesome is that..we had our babies together..went to our doctors appointments together ( Dr. Bhagat..we love you ),got fat together ( well I got fat, 42 xtra pounds, deb was like 24lbs ..how is it that I dont hate her?) when she felt sick, I puked... we had our babies 9 days apart. Two beautiful girls..Kaitlin Sarah (mine) and Cassondra Lacy (hers)..

Kate and Cass

Cass and Kate

Life was good.

Then I moved.
In a span of about 3 or 4 years we both got divorced and we went our separate ways again ...this time for years and years. Occasional phone calls to determine if we were both still OK ensued..and that was fine.

In 2005 we hooked up in South Florida for a few days of fun in the sun!!

Val, Deb and Laura

It was awesome , I had not seen Deb or her sister Val in , well I cant even tell you how long it had been...I'm guessing..6-8 years..something like since 1998 or so. We were like 3 teenagers all over again..time stood still. The Anejo flowed (rum) and the time gap closed indefinately once more.

Since that time, Deb and I have kept in touch and have become closer than we ever have been. I know she thinks of me as often as I do her....I have been to her place for Thanksgiving and just this past August we spent an amazing 4 days together will all our old friends from up north at the best party I have ever been to..its was a Lovefest from start to finish!!

Deb, Laura and Val

Laura and Deb - August 2009

Every moment we spend together makes it harder for me and I know her too..to say goodbye..I swear if we were lesbians..we would have never left each other's side since 1979. But alas, we are not.... just two boy crazy girls are what we will always be!!

Even though we are apart..our friendship has no boundaries. When I am down, I think of her...when I am lonely , I think of her..when I am happy, I think of her, when I hear Donna Summer, I think of her...basically I think of her every damn day ...and sometimes that is all it takes to get me through the tough spots. There has never been and never will be a woman in this world that could be to me what she is...My Best Friend and My own personal Angel on this Earth. There are very few things I am certain of in this life but this I know for sure:
Our Friendship has no end.When we no longer reside on this earth, we will be Best Friend Angels in heaven. YES I SAID HEAVEN!!

Now, for those of you who dont know, Bad Girls is a song by the Fabulous Donna Summer

..and Yes, its about hookers.. Deb and I were never hookers, are currently NOT hookers and have no plans to be hookers in the future ...but we loved that song and made it our own..we were Bad Girls for many years together, we still are and I look forward to many more years of badness ...so..if you are missing your own Bad Girl or need something to pick you up out of your hum drum everyday existence, send that BFF a text message..and make it her BDE and Yours too!!!

Until Tomorrow....Its All Good!!

Debbie Dee Doobie:
I love you and miss you more than words can express!!
Believe me , this blog doesnt do my feelings for you any justice..but I tried.
Text me!!!
xoxoxo
Laura Lee Loobie

THURSDAY 13: Rum n Coke

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 23:10:00 +0000

I love Cocktails.
Since I live in what is considered to be a sub-tropical paradise....
I have come to love the Classic...RUM AND COKE

So...

13 Things I Love about RUM and COKE

1.Bacardi Anejo RUM..please..what else would be #1
2.Diet Coke..cause it tastes just as good..no calories
3.Whalers Vanilla RUM.. makes it taste like a cream soda
4. Just a little LIME
5.It's easy and quick to make
6.It doesnt take 5 mintues to order one
7.Captn Morgans Spiced RUM
8.You can get one just about anywhere
9.A Bartender cant screw it up
10.Myers Platinum RUM
11.It goes with meat, chicken or fish and pizza...
12.The ingredients are always on hand..at least at my house
13. Did I say RUM yet, its a long list?

Questions for Clementine and Spirit

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:36:00 +0000

A friend of mine used to say ...
"When I die, I hope I come back as one of your cats"
If there ever were a day my Princess Kitties could speak to me..this is what I would like to know...

To Clementine, the baby:

Are you smoking Crack????!!! You seem to be forgetting where your litter box is...Do i clean it too often...or not enough?...Is my carpet or my couch just easier on your kitty tush..or do you just like messing with me in the morning? Do you get your kitty kicks by seeing me crinkle my nose in disgust before I spot the little gift in the corner...oh and by the way, thanks for using the credit card bill I left on the floor as your own personal toilet...how apropos....i just wish I could have mailed that as payment in full!!! I also notice you tend to do these things RELIGIOUSLY when there are Men among us ( one at a time folks..men I mean) . I have to tell you...that really sucks. Are you jealous? Do I not get up fast enough when you start to cry incessantly outside my door at 6 AM, behaving like you haven't eaten in 3 months when you have been chowing down all night on the dry food I leave out for you!!! I know you have figured out how to open my bedroom door too..you just don't have the kitty balls to do it while I'm around..(just like the pooping thing) And whats with the Sigfried and Roy Act, you snuggle up right next to me and do that irresistible chirpy purring thing that you do and when i finally reach out to pet you ..you sink your kitty vampire fangs into my hand while your four paws make shredded pork out of my forearm!! Why do you do that? It must be in your nature...you truly are my little Tiger.

To Spirit, The Queen:

What happened to you in your life?? You are an old soul. I know you are a mommy..we have the same belly. Do you miss another family..or more than one? I know you must have been the Queen of Hearts in someones household because when you moved in here you certainly took over mine. Are you mad at me for taking out all your teeth?? Your tongue only sticks out a little bit and you can eat the crap out of that dry food now! I think I saw you put on 10 pounds in a week. I hope you adjusted to your weight gain..You look Fabulous!! Is that why you knead my stomach for 40 minutes before you finally settle in..and when i move you meowl (that is a growl and a meow) like I am putting You out!! Is that payback for the Gummy Smile? Were you a Kitty Entertainer like Morris The Cat or were you the pet of a circus performer..because whenever we have company ..you become the Kitty Klown!! Its not that I mind..but you kind of
bogart all of the attention with your performances...and of course you always have me mesmerized by how adorably Garfield-like your expressions can be.., do you read the comics when i leave the paper lying around on Sunday morning? Why do you get frustrated when i pick you up even though I know you don't like it? It doesn't mean I'm going to stop doing it!!! Does that sound like any Kitties you know??

To both My Girls

Are you happy I adopted you?
Do you wish you were running free outside?
Do you think I understand you when you are Meowing at me?
Should I understand you?
Do you understand me?
Do you miss me when i go away on business?
Do you laugh at me behind my back when I am scooping your poop?
Do you like drinking out of the toilet? Is it fun..or is the water really better?
Does cat food really taste like Tuna/Chicken or Beef?
Do you really think I don't know when you are on my counter tops?
Do you understand what NO means?
Do you really hate each other or is that just sibling rivalry?
Don't you think you would prefer a bath rather than cleaning yourself in certain places with your own tongue?
Would you miss me if you had to live somewhere else?
Why wont you let me brush your beautiful fur?
Are fur balls or fur turds to be exact, enjoyable to puke up?
Why after 5 years are you just now starting to scratch on my furniture?
Why do you both smell each others butts? Its not like its going anywhere.

I LOVE my Girls...I wouldn't have them any other way...xoxoxoxo kitty love

Innocence Remembered

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 03:01:00 +0000

In 2000, my daughter Kate and I lived in Long Island, NY and would always get excited to see the skyline on our travels in and out of the city. She would point out all the beautiful buildings and my boyfriend and I would quiz her on their names. This is what she made me for Christmas that year.

Construction paper and chalk were never more beautiful. I loved them then and now they are even more special.

Katie's Day-Night View of our beautiful City
NEW YORK

Since I purposely did not address 9/11 on 9/11

This is a way to do so now which instead of pain brings only great Joy!

GOD BLESS AMERICA

Ps. Kate..I love you a million times bigger than the sky!!

Do good in school

Wear your seatbelt

Brush your teeth

xoxoxoxoxoxoox

Mom

Day 7 - I'm in trouble

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 02:22:00 +0000

I'm addicted!!! Yes...I'm addicted to my blog. I am a person of excessive behavior and now my attentions have turned to blogging. My daughter thinks Im nuts, but that isnt unusual. She likes what i have written so far but she has yet to see the new layout!!!  My mom, who is new to social networking is now leaving comments on my facebook..asking where is DAY 6 and Day 7...Wait ...wait...I didnt know I had a deadline...lol

So here is where the trouble starts. I can literally spend all day and night persuing websites that have to do with blogging, digital art, how-to's and everything else related to blogging and then i have no time left to blog or my head hurts from being on the computer for 12 hours. This is how I spent my entire weekend and most of the day today. Either way it's cutting into the main reason why i started MYBDE in the first place, as a cathartic outlet for emotions. Turning the positive into negative...holding myself accountable.

So in an attempt to throw myself a life raft of sorts, I thought i would write about what i experienced today viewing other people's blogs. WOW..there are so many talented and funny people out there in this world!!! I had no idea that the blogging community could be so entertaining!!! These people are just ordinary men and women living their lives just like me..but somehow are able to make it seem like everything they do is funny and exciting!! Even the mundane..like cutting out notecards..what a blast!! I wonder if i could make the bland boneless chicken breast  I smothered with salt, pepper and garlic powder..funny and worth watching a video about. Or maybe , dare I, post a big pic of myself for everyone to see ( not the little thumbnails you need a magnifying glass to see)...??? NO not yet..its too soon!! Im not ready to be that NAKED.   ( naked in the literary sense mom, no worries)

So you see now why Im in trouble...
I would rather read other peoples blogs than write in my own.
I dont have much to talk about...I am being positive these days..so I'm pretty much happy..when I'm happy it seems nothing bad/strange/interesting happens to me.

My interaction with people is very limited. I live alone. I don't have a husband or a boyfriend, I work only with my business partner, except for the occasional working lunch or dinner with "outsiders" and then i have my game face on ..so it doesnt count. I'm healthy and I'm not a weirdo ..I have nice neighbors..but we all have different lives...so basically I thought I had something to say and now I'm second guessing myself. I mean i could write about my cats leaving me presents in places other than underneath the xmas tree.. and how i somehow turned that into a positive or how one too many Bud Light Limes can make you forget 3 hours of a Baseball game you were actually at.....but really...how long can I draw out those little ups and downs and still make it seem funny and exciting???

Its starting to sound like Im complaining that I have no negatives to turn into a positve..and I would like to say for the record and to the heavens above..THAT IS NOT SO!!!.. No Complaints here. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU GOD, for giving me the strength to bring unto myself, peace and perseverance.   I hope that got through...laws of positive attracttion. Its a big deal.

So with that being said I am not going to be discouraged by the great talent that cyber-surrounds me..I am going to dive into the blogging community and hope to find the funny in my own cirucmstances. But right now I have a headache..and I still have one more post Im working on...so I need a BLL..i mean a break..before i hit the hay for good.

Until Tomorrow...Its All Good

Making a Difference Monday..Its only egg n cheese

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 18:00:00 +0000

Today is MONDAY!! and my business partner is having a "Case of the Mundays" :( (Office Space-gotta luv it) She has got a bellyache and a headache and is currently in the prone position moaning and watching a movie ..( our office is built in the detached garage from her house) I have spent many Mondays that way..and come to think of it Saturdays and Sundays as well...tee hee...

Anyway..I am holding down the fort today on my own while she tries to recuperate and have been in here for awhile now...SLAVING AWAY...and I thought I should check up on her..She is still not feeling well and will not eat and refused my offer of tea with honey..Now I know she is sick. She does Everything for Everybody and there are not alot of people who return the favor. She has 6 kids, a great husband and an aged Mother..all but 4 of the kids still reside at home. Her mom is up and wandering and in need of lunch..so my good deed is to keep my partner comfortable and make sure Grandma gets a really nice hot Egg and Cheese sandwich and a milkshake. At least that is one thing she won't have to worry about today. With that done, I can return to the office to~~consider my blog topics for today~~ answer my emails, make some phone calls and finish my bookwork!!!

Its All Good!!

Day 5: Yellow Flag- Im under Caution

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 17:58:00 +0000

12:30PM

Its Raining. Its been raining since 3 AM..I slept Dismally..woke up at midnight with a hangover and a stuffy nose...I'm a human barometer and since yesterday afternoon my sinus's have been telling me to "bring an umbrella" So i stumble over my cat Spirit (she is soo cute)

as I head to the bathroom and then downstairs for much needed water, 2 sinus pills and a tylenol PM...its gonna be a long night..

but i will be happy, I tell myself, if I wake up at 8am and don't have a hangover.
Well I woke up at 10am and..YEAH..no hangover ..just a little drowsy from the Tylenol..no biggie..mmmmcoffee..cant wait...

Sister calls...where's your blog??? ..we laugh cause i was a little too tipsy to blog last night..but its nice to know she is interested in what i have to say. Then another call...Not sooo good....from a Guy.."friend" who is notorious for making me crazy, as all my friends and family will attest too and will know exactly who it is I am speaking of.

I AM BEING TESTED

The universe is testing me...to see if I can hang on to that slippery and always evasive, POSITIVE feeling. I can feel the pressure now of wanting to revert back into the cave of misery and self pity so strongly I want to SCREAM obscenties to anyone who comes near and stomp my feet in a 12 year old temper tantrum the likes of which no exhausted Parent in Walmart at midnight has ever seen!

I am Angry...Angry at myself for being too weak to protect myself from what I know will harm me.

I am Angry...Angry at myself for thinking he will change.

I am Angry...Angry at myself for caring that he doesnt care.

I am Angry...Angry at myself for caring, Period!!

I am Angry....Angry at myself for being ANGRY!!!

When someone hurts my feelings, intentionally or unintentionally...I go from Zero to Angry in under 10 seconds..I am The Ferrari of Freak Out, The Porsche of Pissed if you willl. There is no in-between..I dont cry or whine first ..there is no revving of the engines...its just BAM ..Im at the checkered flag of the Angry 500 before anyone else has even gotten into 1st gear. This..IS NOT HEALTHY.

I need to give myself a YELLOW FLAG - Im Under Caution!

I will NOT BE ANGRY anymore...I have been angry since i was 13..and apparently it has become so much a party of my persona that people close to me will use that word.. ANGRY ( and other not so flattering ones)..to describe me to other people...I have been wearing that badge of ANGRY PERSON proudly for too long..

But I can tell you this...Im not so sure if ANGRY is a removable badge..or permanent tattoo...
I almost feel addicted to the adrenaline rush i get when I am angry...my heart beats fast and my brain goes into overdrive....I feel ALIVE...but in a really, really suffocating way. A way in which I feel that it's best that I am Alone. I WANT to be Alone...F-everybody else!!

It pains me to write and re-read these things..as I know ANGRY people..and I really dont like them. They are boring and self-absorbed...I dont want to be that. I feel bad for them as I think about the bad crap that must have happened to them to make them that way. Which leads me to my own conclusion that my own self-pity has made me this way. YUK!!!! Pathetic...NO More!!

So with ALL that being said...I am going to be POSITIVE and find a better way to deal with my hurt feelings and I am also going to try and stay away from the people who hurt me or atleast try to understand their shortcomings and not make them my own.

I am a work in progress...like all human beings on this planet..I am not Perfect but will try to remain Positive and continue to search out ways to improve on what I do have that is good and banish my bad habits and traits or at the very least identify them before they run me into a tight corner and I spin out on the marbles.

Its a Green Flag from here..

Until tomorrow ..Its All Good

Day 4: Its...Friiiiidaaaaayyy ala frank

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 00:19:00 +0000

I had a great day today..I worked, I shopped, I drank and I ate like a pig with people that are like family to me. Im too buzzed to write so ...

Until tomorrow...Its All GOOD!!!

The 3rd Day - THE BELLS!!!! THE BELLS!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:18:00 +0000

4:30 AM : I woke up REALLY early this morning ...but didn't try to fight it this time. The kitties heard me and started to cry, my favorite coffee, Joffreys Angel's Kiss was a push button away and my DVR had a back log of Top Chef and Swords waiting for me...I JUMPED out of bed ( not really..kind of rolled with a little more speed than usual) and said not so loudly this morning...(too early for Cheerleader Barbie) THIS is going to be the BDE!!! (big sigh) NO ..Im not getting tired of this...it was early!!! I briefly considered what the hell i was going to write about today and hoped something great would happen..so i could torture my friends with more of my insane musings.... well something happened allright.....

Every morning, I do the same thing..i have a system you see that must be STRICTLY adhered to..(not really but pretty much).. ..I get up, head straight to the bathroom, ~~talk to~~ pet and feed the cats, start the coffee, clean the cats box, wash my hands ..stand and wait for the coffee...I do nothing else without the coffee. Once i have the coffee in hand ( skim milk - no sugar, please)...its a free for all!! I am now FREE to plop my ass back on the couch and watch ALL the boobtube i want. Exciting isnt it!! Today , I strayed just slightly from the system as i was feeling overly productive and threw a couple loads of laundry in as well...I am Kickin some major domestic ass now!!

Anyhoo..I was kicking it with the Top Chefs...and started getting a little hungry...BIG SURPRISE...PAUSE..Love that DVR...into the kitchen for an Egglands Best Egg and Cheese Omelette..I am hungry NOW!! I never eat omelettes...but today..Im doin it!!... Take out all my ingredients and prepare my pan and get my utensils...Just call me Julia.. I get the omelette going in the pan ..its smelling yummy and BOOM !!SCREETCH!! ..BLACKNESS... BANG.!!! LIGHT!!! .THE BELLS!!!! THE BELLS!!!!! OH PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!! WTF JUST HAPPENED!!! ..BUT STILL THE BELLS!!! THE BELLS!!!

FLORIDA- ITS A POWER SURGE
I really dont like Florida....but I'm trying really hard to be POSITIVE!!!

and it wasn't a little surge...ooooh noooooooooo...why would it be...I mean..we had NO LIGHTING, NO STORMS, NO WIND..NO NOTHIN!!! Just a freaky ass powersurge...did i say i really hate florida?

Did I mention i have a Security System????? Yeah..I have one...I never heard it go off until ..oh...5:30 AM this morning...I dont have a contract with a Security Company..never did..it was here when i bought the townhouse...I have no codes..nothing is written on the display panel..and there is no LCD screen (cheap ass)..but the BELLS work really well!! So of course I do what anyone that just burned her omelette and shit her pants at the same time does...I viciously swear and run to the display panel and start furiously pushing all the buttons I can ..praying to god and sweating like a pig that this bastard will just stop RINGING!!!

YESSSS!!! SUCCESS!!! I'VE DONE IT!!!! ..oh but wait..WHAT is that noise??? Nasty little high-pitched feedback surely designed to drive a person insane if in fact the alarm bells didnt kill them first. Ok ..lets see ..a little more button pushing...nope...thats not working, beat on it..nope thats not working... ...oh god ..its not working..!!!! ...ok NOW im losing my shit..Im getting really pissed...so i step away and calm myself and say....THIS IS THE BDE dammit and everything will be OK...take a breath. ( im already going nuts as I am talking loudly to myself., they call it self-calming when you are a baby but Im frikin 43 years old..its nuts!!) OK back to that pesky display panel...off the wall you come...hmmmmm..a little motherboard thingy with 4 little wires...Electrocution briefly enters my mind but its worth it I think.

SIDE NOTE: I have already taken down the mirror that hides the breaker panel that was painted shut until this morning ..but nothing marked Security Alarm---why am i not surprised)

Back to the story...Now my practical side doesnt really want to rip these four little wires out ..just incase someone buys my place when the economy is good and we all have 6 heads....it could add to the lovely features of a 2 bed/2 bath cookie cutter townhouse...but wait...Im on a tangent...lets get back to the BDE...So...instead of ripping out the wires..i decide to bitch slap the mother board thingy until it cries uncle no more! Sure enough...my expertise in bitch slapping pays off and it STOPS....I am SOOOOOOOO good!! This positive thinking is AWESOME!!! Yeah.I rock...!!!!

So as you can see Im feeling pretty,pretty,pretty,pretty,pretty good right now( thank you larry david)I fix myself another Top Chef omelette..another cup o joe and its back to the chopping block...PLAY!!

Things go pretty well for the next 2 hours..by 8 am I am ready to get to the office and do my share of the work ( i have a hair appt at noon..so i will be gone for a good 2 hours) and now i know what i will be blogging about...I was Triumphant in my proving the laws of positive attraction work..all before 8 AM!!!

Well that last statement..was nothing but a BIG BOWL OF WRONG!!!

As i was opening the front door...with my laptop on one shoulder and my purse in hand....THE BELLS!!!! THE BELLS!!!! THE BELLS!!!!!!!!! OMG..its happening all over again!!! WTF..the bells are taunting me a second time( thank you Monty Python) I am now back to frantically pushing the buttons on the display panel..nothing, it comes back off the wall..SLAP..Nothing....now..I still dont want to pull those stupid wires..so its back to the Mirror OFF the Wall...and I start popping breakers...praying and BEING POSITIVE..that somehow the DOODADOO that installed this torture device has hooked it into one these things NOT marked SECURITY SYSTEM. BINGO.!!!..Master Bedroom...How Nice...Now i dont have to say Turn off the lights Please..lol....BIG DEEP BREATH...OK..Im screwed .. But let me show you how positive I am....I waited and turned the breaker back on to see if maybe the alarm had reset itself ......waiting...waiting....ahhhh about 60 seconds in ...Im in the cle....THE BELLS!!!! THE BELLS!!!

DAMMIT!! Triple DAMMIT!! THE BREAKER GETS SHUT DOWN FOR GOOD.

NOW is the time , Ladies and Germs ( wasnt that W.C. FIELDS?), the crucial moment where the decsions you make will define how you will spend the rest of your day... in the past..(monday morning to be exact) I would have totally FREAKED OUT..yelling , screaming ,breaking things, swearing..well i did some of that but not super bad...holding my hands up to the sky and screaming WHY ME????? and basically worrying all day how in the hell i would get this sorted out..and make everyone I come in contact with just as miserable because no one could have possibly started their day out as badly as I had.... BUT since that is the OLD Laura...all I had to do was continue on with the BDE and say to myself (in my head..no talking out loud)..OK..it wont be so bad if I have to go without electricity in my bedroom for a day or night...It will get fixed one way or another...NO WORRIES....grab your stuff and go to work...its a pretty nice day outside and your partner is waiting for you. And that is just what I did..and it was the BDE!!!

Until Tomorrow...Its All Good!!!

P.S. Big Thank you to Shannon for coming over after a long day at his own job and totally dismantling that peice of crap!! You are the BOMB and have always been there to help me and I so APPRECIATE you for that...You get 5 Free Daubs Anywhere you want them next week!!!

The 2nd Day - Where is that Business Card????

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 19:13:00 +0000

After having the Best Day Ever yesterday...i was looking forward to my Best Day Ever today.

I slept well...not as well as the night before...i was anxious for the next day to come so I could experience yet again..the good feelings my positive attitude brought me.

I got up at 6 AM...after telling myself at 3, 4 and 5 ..that 6 would be OK..and i could consider it time well spent relaxing.

I once again swung my legs over the side of the bed...with the same excitement as yesterday and declared to the closet full of clothes that dont fit me anymore...This is going to be the BEST DAY EVER!!!

Now the question was...
Where do I focus my energies today??? Yesterday was spent basically telling myself and everyone around me that I was going to have the BDE (best day ever..im tired of typing it..so from now on...BDE) So I decided that today I would not only focus on having the BDE but muster up a little energy for diet and exercise as well.

Now if you know me, you know that these two things are EVIL in my book. As much as they love me...I absolutley do not love them. My relationship with diet and exercise is a one way street...to the closest pizza and beer joint. So I think , How do I handle this ?? How do I affect a positive outcome with only a positve attitude? I know i need much more than that to see any results. So to kill some more time before the light bulb goes on...i read my horoscope on facebook, hoping for some much needed guidance...and to my amazement it basically states that there is absolutely no better time to get off my fat ass , put down the beer and get to the gym and even hire a trainer if I can't be trusted. I cannot be trusted. That Settles it!!

Here's the rub though....i have been talking about doing this for over 2 months. Actually had a session with an awesome health and wellness trainer back in July..who had a great plan that pretty much set me up for success which i was very excited about ( i knew I was excited because i didnt whine very much at all when she told me it would take 5 months to lose 30 pounds ..the healthy way...even though in the back of my mind i was scheming how i could cut it down to 3 months by only eating String cheese and chicken...how would she know???) Well as the saying goes, why do today what you can do tomorrow?...I think today is now tomorrow...im confused, Im caught in a vicious cycle ...I have to start somewhere......but where......?????

I have the trainers business card.....somewhere... I have looked all over for it....NO LUCK...is this a sign? I think it is...so now i have to call the gym......I really dont want to..i cant remember the womans name...so now i have to GO to the gym. This entails a small degree of exertion along with a super-sized portion of guilt because you know I am going there with my high heels and jeans on..just looking to talk to someone who's name and possibly face I cannot remember. This is not looking very positive...but I have FAITH...I love FAITH..it gets me through the myriad of crap i force on myself.......anyway....

It does not take long for me to decide that today will NOT be the day i start my health and wellness routine...but i have sufficiently topped off the guilt tank and doused myself with enough accountability by posting this blog that the weekend is looking pretty good for a start date/dates ...i might be commitment phobic for all I know....I will have to work on that now too....ahhh the enlightenment..my heart is bursting...

Now if i could only find that DAMN Business card....ooooh wait...is it under that 12 pack of Bud Light Lime?? NO WORRIES...this day will STILL be the BDE!! (notice the positive attitude--Seriously)

Until Tomorrow... Its All Good!!