My Blog Filled Life

Are you ready for this, because I wasn't

2012-04-03T08:42:00.000-07:00

As promised my meds arrived and my dear husband has begun injecting me every evening. Yes, you read that right I'm a big baby and am making my needle-phobic husband do my injections. I'm going with the philosophy that this will help him overcome his needle-phobia, so it's a win-win.

Currently I take 10 units of Lupron daily. Leuprolide acts as an agonist at pituitary GnRH receptors. By interrupting the normal pulsatile stimulation and the desensitization of the GnRH receptors; it indirectly down regulates the secretion of gonadotropins luteinizing hormone (LH) and follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) leading to hypogonadism and thus a dramatic reduction in estradiol and testosterone levels in both sexes. Totes stole that from Wikipedia. In a nut shell the Lupron supresses my pituitary glad and prevents my from ovulating.

Now as promised THE BOX.............

Those four bags in front? Yeah all needles. Notice I even have my own hospital grade sharps container. This is serious business. Not that any of you thought it was a joke before, but holy Hell.

I also think I'm going to start a countdown to implantation like some people do for their due date or other major life events,

We are T-minus 27 days to implantation

The meds are coming....the meds are coming...

2012-03-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

Like Paul Revere riding through my neighborhood, screaming to my uterus. They actually should have arrived, but I wasn't sent a tracking number, NOT good. How am I suppose to stalk the Fedex truck. I am starting to get nervous, excited nervous but nervous all the same.

I have my first medical checkup this afternoon, the results are supposed to be sent immediately to my doc in CA who will let me know if I start the meds tonight or tomorrow or not at all. And when I say meds this is what I mean.

So that MIGHT be a cow type of needle, but this what they are all going to look like to me in my mind. Hopefully I can get pictures soon of all of them.

From nothing to everything

2012-03-27T07:32:00.001-07:00

Yes, it's been 3 months since I last posted, you know why, because I had NOTHING to share. Nothing to write, nothing to say, just twiddling my thumbs. There has been a lot happening, but I was uninvolved and unaware of it all since it all had to do with the egg donor. But now we go into hyper speed..so here's the run down.

Since we last spoke the dad's have been through two egg donors. One didn't work out due to some birth control left in her body after getting the birth control shot a while ago. They immediately choose another donor, but it seriously took 2 months to get her cleared. She had to go through the same mental and physical clearance that I did, then the contracts from legal had to be mailed to everyone, signed and returned. Everything was received last Friday. I'm glad I don't have to figure out the logistics of all of this it's like freaking air traffic control.

Late last night I got my tentative calendar emailed to me, so that's Monday night at 9pm. Friday I have to go in for my first ultra sound so they can check and make sure everything is still there and looks good. This is also the day that I start my injections, oh yeah there are needles involved and daily. For those of you that don't know (like me), the first injection is Lupron and it helps override the pituitary glad so I don't ovulate. We don't need any of my eggs slipping out during this process.

So there we are stuff is happening and happening quickly. Stay tuned, as soon as they arrive I'll share with you my magic box of meds.

A Snail's Pace

2012-01-09T17:16:00.000-08:00

So I seriously and naively thought that I would be pregnant by now. You know meet couple, we all like one another, then I would get pregnant. Well apparently I was wrong VERY wrong. Damn I hate being wrong. This process can take a long freaking time.

First the guys needed to get their "stuff" checked to see. Then the egg donor needs to have her vag checked (such fun) and get medically cleared. Then a few weeks for all of us to get our contracts, then all of us have to get our contracts back. THEN we actually get a calendar to start this whole thing. Yeah you heard me right, we haven't even started.

I have no idea what kind of timeline we are talking about. I feel like time is all sorts of suspended. I just wanted to update you all. I'm not pregnant, I haven't even started, but I promise to keep you all sorts of informed.

In other news Geaux Tigers. Yeah I live in PA, but I can still root for my team.

Holy Woowza

2011-12-23T17:42:00.000-08:00

Man, talk about some serious traffic. I thought I'd address some comments made on here as well as on Facebook.

So first of all let me address the monetary stuff. Yeah I get paid, but I could die, the likelihood of that happening is slim, but it could happen, I could also loose my uterus, have a stroke, or a myriad of other pleasent things. Even if that doesn't happen, in a few months I won't be able to bend over to load the dishwasher, do laundry, or see my toes. Let's also take into account the physical toll this takes on my body as well as the emotional toll on my marriage, being pregnant has it's moments of greatness but it also has some seriously sucktastic stuff too. And then of course there is my $6 a day ice cream habit, that is still many months away, but it's coming. I also recognize that most of these are first world problems, so yeah I get compensated, but there is no way I could do it if it were for the money, it's not THAT much.

Now to the good stuff.

That is awesome - good for your friend! Is she planning on breastfeeding (well, pumping?) and donating that as well? Yes, I'm a saint, I know, I am hoping to be memorialized after this, whatevs, if you heard me cursing last night at my hen night you would definitely think differently. Back to the question at hand, the parents haven't made any ovation regarding breast milk. I nursed my son until he weaned himself, but for over half the time he was nursing I had to pump on one side, plus the parents live in another country, so I don't know if it would work.

Hmm this is Interesting...i am currently considering becoming a surrogate myself. Where did you get information about becoming one? Im looking at The Surrogacy Source right now. I am using the same company a friend of mine did when she donated her eggs. I will have to check with them to make sure it's OK for me to use the company's name, I'm sure it is, but it's Christmas and I don't want to get a lump of coal.

Do you plan to stay in touch with them after the baby is born? You should read the book THEN CAME YOU by Jennifer Weiner I just C&P'd weiner in my blog, I wonder how many great searches from 13 year old boys I'm going to get now. To the point, I don't know what will happen communication wise. It really depends on how our relationship develops. We may turn out to be great friends and I'm their new hag, and we're like BFF's 4 Life, or it may be that we exchange Christmas cards, school pictures and see each other during our travels. Who knows, but I can't wait to find out.

I'm SURE there is a musical somewhere featuring a mexican gay couple. There is not, I have checked.

So, not much is going to happen in the next 10-14 days, so please put this in your reader, but don't check every day with baited breath and be so disappointed when you don't see my lovely words typed perfectly with my amazingly painted grey nails. (Seriously though this nail polish is fabulous). If you choose to do so, have a Happy Christmas, if not have a great Sunday.

-Mary-Tyler

Some BIG NEWS!

2011-12-19T14:29:00.000-08:00

So I've taken a break from blogging because this thing is about to go into a whole new direction. John and I are going to be gestational surrogates for a family that can't have their own kids. OK, so are your jaws on the floor? I'll give you a minute......ready to move on?

John and I talked about doing this before Brooks was even a thought, but you have to have given birth to be a surrogate. Duh, oh naive one. Once Brooks turned one year we opened the door and reached out to an agency. After 5 months, we are ready to get knocked up. Here's the process so far.

Contact agency and fill out paperwork akin to getting top secret federal security clearance. This is of course necessary to make sure you are not a total weirdo. Then send all of your medical records from kindergarten through birth. Since I'm fat, I also had to do a glucose test. Once you pass all of this, you go for a medical and psychiatric evaluation, I was concerned about the medical eval, but my friends were apparently more concerned with my psych eval, I don't know how good these friends are when I think about it. Once I found out that I passed all of these, we were sent the profile of a couple, on paper they seemed great, so our profile was passed along to them. Then we met.

I can't even begin to tell you how awkward the meeting was. It was like a blind date and job interview at the same time. Have to figure out in an hour all the nitty gritty of what we both expect during this journey, as well as legal stuff, and then of course are we even going to get along. Fortunately, we seemed to get along swimmingly. After the formal meeting we went to a coffee shop and talked about our family lives, careers, and other bullshit fill in the blank stuff.

Before chronicling any of this I wanted to make sure it was OK with the parents first, but I am going to give them pseudonyms, something cool like spy names like Boris and Sebastian, but maybe that's just pretentious, but we'll go with musical names since that's more true to my form, they will be referred to as Kander & Ebb (totally a musical theater geeky reference).

A few last things, this child will not be genetically mine or John's. They will be using an egg donor and one of their sperm will be used to fertilize. I'm just the oven, the vessel to grow the babe. I've been asked how am I going to be able to hand over the baby? That's easy, it's not my baby, again, I'm the vessel, the oven only. I'm excited to go through pregnancy again, and help out a family that can't conceive on their own.

OK back to convalescing, I have strep throat and Brooks has an ear and throat infection. I'll keep ya'll posted on details.

The Great Noonie Caper

2011-11-14T04:37:00.001-08:00

First and foremost, a noonie (noon ee) is the name for Brooks' pacifier. So get your head out of the gutter this has nothing to do with boobs.

The caper was quick, well as quick as toddlers can move, and started so innocently with kids banging on the sliding glass door. Then the culprit swiped Brooks' noonie and ran as quick as her little legs would go. Upon reaching the precipitous of the step up into the dining room, the culprit had to actually crawl to the top. The victim was hot on her heels, fussing the whole way, that is until she required assistance, there was a pause of game until she regained her footing. Once she was up, the chase and fussing were back on. The culprit toddled all the way across the house and only slowed once she came up on the rocking house, she mounted her steed to make a speedy get away when the victim finally caught up to her, he was able to retrieve the stolen noonie. He promptly placed the noonie in his mouth and the fussing ceased. The culprit was last seen giggling her way into the sunset.

We miss Miss K and I think she enjoys teasing Brooks.

Cleaning + toddler = not fun

2011-11-12T16:00:00.001-08:00

We make almost all of our cleaning products except for the bathroom, I use heavy duty stinky awful chemicals in there. So I like to clean it while Brooks is downstairs or sleeping, this way I can have the fan on and then let it air out before he is exposed to it. Today I did not have this luxury since John wasn't home and The Dude decided that sleeping was for babies. After trying unsuccessfully to put him down for a nap twice I threw caution to the wind and decided to clean.

Thinking to myself, "OK, I can handle this", I'll open his room, we just brought a bouncy horse up this morning, he'll be SO enthralled by that thing that I'll be able to spray, scrub and aerate before he notices that I'm not in his room. Why oh why do I dream up such fantasies, I'm always disappointed. This is how it all went down.

Read a few books with Brooks in his room so he knows (yeah right) that this is play or quiet time not sleep time, because every 16 month old is this rational, right? As expected after reading he goes over and jumps on his horse and shows me how it bounces, makes noise and spins. Great, plan is working! I slip out and next door into the bathroom, grab spray, sponge and go to work. All of a sudden, *thud thud thud*, the sound of 21 pounds of toddler coming into the room. OK, not time to lose it, he's not interested in me and my toxins. Then I feel tiny hands beating on my back followed by hysterical laughter. Time to re appropriate toddler, back to his room, "look how pretty the zebra is, can you show me how to jump on it?" This works he goes to town bouncing like, well a toddler. I run back to the bathroom and no sooner do I kneel to start scrubbing then I feel his tiny little hands again. *sigh* So maybe if I scrub really fast it will be better, the fan is on, the door is open...oh until the toddler decides that an open door is not a good idea. Next 10 minutes was spent getting up and opening the door, running over and scrubbing some, getting back up and opening the door, all the while trying to distract the Dude from the poisons I'm using to clean. I'm throwing toys at him, not literally at him, but in his general direction, tossing them out into the hall so he'll run after them, all of this isn't working. Instead of taking my normal 15-30 minutes to clean the bathroom, today's clean clocked in at 1 hour and 20 minutes. I should be grateful that it's clean (ish) and he didn't inhale or eat too many chemicals. Small victories right?

I want to hate her, but can't

2011-11-09T17:21:00.000-08:00

Michelle Duggar, that is. I really want to not like the woman, but so far I just disagree with some of her decisions, BUT she seems like a really good mom. The kids seem to be as well adjusted, well as well adjusted as sheltered kids can be.
I don't understand why so many people are up in arms about how many kids the woman has. She's not even close to the Russian woman who had 69 kids and never a single birth. Talk about some stretch marks and lack of elasticity. Of course the Russian woman was a peasant and it was 1725, I bet they could share the same wardrobe.
Oh well, good luck Michelle, may the doctor's have steady small hands.

Tasty Tuesday - Installment #5 - Gluten Free Edition

2011-11-08T16:17:00.000-08:00

When I was breast feeding Brooks had a gluten intolerance, so I had to eat gluten and dairy free. I learned to cook and of course bake gluten free. It's really hard to find gluten free recipes that don't have 50 million ingredients so it makes everything cost 100 million dollars. This recipe is affordable, albeit more than "traditional" baking and EASY!!!!! There was no difference in texture or taste, and approved at a party this weekend, by glutenites and glutenless alike.

Gluten Free Fried Apple Cupcakes

1 1/4 cups gluten free baking flour (I used Bob's Red Mill)
3/4 cup + 1 teaspoon white sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder (notice this is NOT baking soda)
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 cup butter (room temperature NOT melted)
1/4 cup milk
3/4 cup + 1 tablespoon applesauce
1 egg

Mix all dry ingredients together. In a separate bowl mix sugar, milk and applesauce. Using a mixer slowly add dry ingredients, once incorporated add egg. Mix on medium speed for 1-2 minutes scraping sides once or twice.

If you look at the "regular" recipe, there is not a big difference, which also means there isn't a big difference in the taste. I served these again with the maple frosting and it was VERY well received.

Halloween 2011

2011-11-03T12:11:00.000-07:00

What's the point of having a kid, if you can't dress them up in ridiculous costumes for Halloween, that is until they say "I want to be Batman" for the 3rd year in a row.

Add caption Last year, I stressed for the longest time about what Brooks would wear. One night I was lamenting that our son was going to be in an "ordinary" costume and I was such a failure since my mom always my brother and I awesome costumes, John suggested that he go as Hamlet. DONE! It was really funny, no sewing invovled except that I made him spats since he didn't have black shoes.

This year I thought I had the perfect costume Don Quixote, put a pinwheel on the dog and it would have been great. Then John, the theater designer suggested "American Gothic". We needed a female so I asked Miss K's mom and she LOVED it. I was able to borrow a jacket for Brooks, and cut off the color on a shirt for him so he would have a Mandarn collar. I quickly made Miss K's dress and apron, John made the back drop and we were nerdily ready.

Tasty Tuesday - Installation #4

2011-11-01T13:16:00.000-07:00

Chocolate Chip Cookie Cupcakes

Why chocolate chip cookies and not just chocolate chips you ask, because who doesn't love a chocolate chip cookie and who doesn't love a cupcake? If you answered "me" to either of these questions, please step away from the blog.

I made these using a mini muffin tin only, I tried them using a bigger one, but they were really rich and I didn't enjoy them as much, so please note that when making them. These are by FAR the easiest I have made.

The Only Chocolate Chip Cookie Cupcakes

1 cup semi sweet Chocolate Chips
2 1/4 cup(s) unsifted flour
1 teaspoon(s) baking soda
1 cup(s) (2 sticks) butter
3/4 cup(s) sugar
3/4 cup(s) packed brown sugar
2 eggs
4 teaspoon(s) vanilla
2 Tablespoons milk
1 cup(s) chopped walnuts or pecans (optional)

Preheat oven to 350F and line mini muffin tins.

As with all of my recipes please make sure your butter and eggs are at room temperature. I used a stand mixer for these with the paddle attachment. Mix flour, and baking soda in a bowl. Cream butter on medium speed add sugars and blend till fully incorporated, add eggs one at a time until full incorporated, scrape down bowl if needed (it will be needed so just do it). Turn the mixer down to low and slowly add the flour mixture, once it's all in you'll probably need to scrape down the sides of the bowl again, on slow speed add vanilla and milk. Once you have everything in and blended add the chocolate chips. Mix on medium speed for just a few seconds until everything is good and mixed in.

Fill muffin tins and bake for 10-15 minutes, which means I baked mine for 13 minutes and they were perfect, but who puts 13 minutes in a recipe? Let them sit in the tins for a bit before placing on a rack to cool. I couldn't wait for the rack and stuck mine in the freezer, but you didn't hear that from me.

Icing

1 stick room temperature butter
3 1/2 cups confectioners sugar

Again using my trusty stand mixer I whipped the heck out of the butter, put the stick in the bowl, walked the dial up to high and let it run for 3 minutes before adding anything. Once the butter had lots of air, I started adding the sugar in 2/3 cup increments, of course use low to start and walk it up to high, I let it whip on high for 1 minute between installments. I know this takes forever, but it's so amazingly awesome that it is worth the extra time, I SWEAR!!!! This recipe makes a bajillion, so you may want to half it the first time, unless you are having a bajillion people over, in which case, this is the way to go!

I am gifted at finding the hardest way.

2011-10-27T14:31:00.000-07:00

Since shopping is one of my most favorite activities ever I love sharing this with my son. Of course instead of popping into a store I now plan on an hour at an store. With this in mind, I usually do my shopping online and then go into the store to pick it up. This is not always the case, but especially so with electronics.

Brooks needed a white noise machine, all summer he had his air conditioner, but since we have a freeze warning tonight we knew that last week we had to make a change. I researched online first and found nothing that I liked, so I decided to get a docking station for my old iPod. Everything I was finding had better sound quality than I needed, which is my polite way of saying I couldn't find anything cheap.

Finally I found an am/fm radio with a docking station and crap speakers, oh well only $30 we're running with it. Then I have to find the right white noise to download to the iPod, we're not talking brain surgery people just static, but I made it as complicated as possible. I listened to different types of static for over an hour before I decided on one and then downloaded it. Then I couldn't get it onto the iPod, so I spent another hour trying to figure that out. Finally John stopped the madness and said that we needed to put the kid to bed.

We take the new long sought after radio upstairs and get it setup, then John and I argue over what will play on it, I am insisting that a lullaby will be fine and John disagreeing. I turn the radio on and it defaults to an AM station which wasn't coming through, the only thing coming through was static, lush mind numbing static. The HOURS I spent researching everything and downloading and trying to get everything to work for free AM station not coming in. When am I going to learn that sometimes the easiest way is the best way?

Advantage of our little city

2011-10-24T18:02:00.000-07:00

Our little city had a Halloween parade and we totally forgot. We were coming home from dinner when we saw people all over the main drag. Since we didn't have enough time to get down to the parade AND change Brooks we decided to just go. Of course we were asked what his costume was, so we went with gay sailor. He was already dressed for the part, we of course just put a hat on the dog, and we were set.

Tasty Tuesday - Installation # 3 - Wednesday Edition

2011-10-19T18:24:00.000-07:00

Pumpkin cupcakes with Salted Caramel Icing

While looking for pumpkin cupcakes I came across this recipe. I tried to tweak it, make it my own and nothing helped, the recipe is PERFECT. I recommend you follow it to a tea and make no changes or alterations.

Then top it with the salted caramel frosting and you will die. Like heaven in a paper wrapper. This is the most requested frosting I've ever made.

Salted Caramel Frosting

Step One

1 cup sugar
1 tablespoon water
1/4 cup unsalted butter
1/2 cup half and half
2 teaspoon course sea salt
1/2 cup butter (room temperature)
1 1/3 cups powdered sugar

To make the caramel use a regular non coated saucepan, do NOT use a non stick pan. Make sure you have the half and half and butter premeasured and ready to go. Add sugar and water into saucepan over medium high heat. Stir occasionally while the sugar melts, once it melts keep stirring until the sugar boils. It should turn an amber color, but be careful and don't let it get too dark. Just so you know mine never boiled, and turned out fine. Once the color is right or boils remove from heat and add half and half and cream and whisk vigorously and immediately, but also stand back the sugar is going to bubble and steam. Whisk until everything is incorporated and you have a nice syruppy mixture. If you have any hard clumps return the pan to a low heat and continue to whisk while breaking them up (um, yeah every time for me!) This usually takes between 5-7 minutes. Once you have the right consistency add salt and stir. Allow caramel to cool to room temperature, do not put it in the fridge unless you plan on thawing it out later, which is a total pain in the ass.

Step Two

Take the 1/2 cup of butter and put in electric mixer and whip for 3 minutes. Add 2/3 cups confectioners sugar, incorporate and then whip for 1 minute, add caramel, mix until incorporated. Add last 2/3 cups confectioners sugar, again, mix until incorporated then whip for 3 minutes. Then slather all over everything! Not only are the amazeballs on the pumpkin cupcakes, but they are beyond sinful on last weeks fried apple ones. Everyone will want to know when you became awesome, seriously they are asking me this, should I be offended?

Uppy and Hiya

2011-10-14T14:46:00.000-07:00

He's talking!!!! OMG, now I know he'll never stop, but today I'm OK I'm over the moon. He's been saying "Erica", who is our next door neighbor for about 3 months, but I can never get a video. Now we have videographic evidence that my son can say, "Puppy" and "Hiya". Yeah I know puppy sounds like Uppy, but it's beyond cute.

Peer Presurre - The Toddler Years

2011-10-12T18:39:00.001-07:00

Brooks was really crabby the past few days, like really crabby, like full out temper tantrums at the drop of hat. The first few were funny, but hearing him scream at the drop of a hat gets really old really quickly. He was wearing on me, I was almost to the point of a crying tantrum myself. I sent an email to my friends to see who was available and to rally the troops. I needed back up.

Amanda emailed and asked if we wanted to take a walk around town, YES! Brooks threw a tantrum getting into his stroller, fun times. Finally he fell asleep on the walk, I was so grateful for a little Brooks silence. We walked all over our little town and worked up an appetite. Brooks was still asleep when we went to one of my favorite restaurants. He woke up right as our food arrived and I was dreading another tantrum. I knew he would be hungry and might not want to eat what I had gotten.

Then it happened, he wanted everything Amanda's son Gavin was eating, including a carrot. The kid eat an entire baby carrot. WHAT!?!?! He was perky, in a good mood, blowing kisses to everyone and smiling ear to ear, just like Gavin (sans blowing kisses). But lightening doesn't strike twice, or does it....

A few hours later my friend Eva came by with Aedlin, after playing for a bit the kids were both hungry. I mentally prepare for the food struggle. He goes into his high chair and John pulls out peas, black beans and corn, he's not interested in any of it, that is until Aedlin starts grabbing for it, then he wants it all. The man is a pea eating machine, shoveling black beans into his mouth like the starving man he is not. He had a charcoal like residue on his face the rest of the evening.

Today without any of his friends, he was back to his new normal, total food refusal, with the exception of Chick fil A nuggets, pizza (how I'm hiding veggies), and french fries. *sigh* at least he's cute.

Tasty Tuesday - Installation #1

2011-10-11T18:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know this is a stupid title, but I couldn't think of anything better. If you have a better title, let me know. John thinks that these are the best cupcakes he's ever eaten and the friends that have tried them agree. No for the deliciousness..........

Spice cupcake filled with fried apples and topped with a maple butter cream

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup + 1 teaspoon white sugar
3/4 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 cup butter (room temperature NOT melted)
1/4 cup milk
3/4 cups applesauce
1 egg

Mix all dry ingredients together. In a separate bowl mix sugar, milk and applesauce. Using a mixer slowly add dry ingredients, once incorporated add egg. Mix on medium speed for 1-2 minutes scraping sides once or twice.

Fried Apples

1 granny smith apple
1 Tablespoon butter
1 teaspoon brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

Core the apple and cut into even SMALL pieces. Put all ingredients into a frying pan on medium heat cook, stirring occasionally, cook until apples are soft, but not mushy. Usually about 5 minutes, but this will depend on how big or small you cut them. Use a fork, they shouldn't break and should be a little crunchy in the middle.

Cooking and assembly instructions

Preheat oven to 350F
Line or grease 12 muffin cups
Using a mini ice cream scoop, place two scoops in each cup
evenly distribute fried apples into each cup
put one more scoop in each cup

Bake for 15-18 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean
Allow to cool completely

Maple Frosting

1/4 pound (1 stick) butter (softened)
2 Tablespoons maple syrup
1/2 teaspoon maple extract
2 Tablespoons milk
1 1/3 cups confectioners sugar

Using a mixer with the whisk attachment whisk butter on high for 3 minutes, add 2/3 cups confectioners sugar, slowly mix until incorporated then whip on high for 1 minute, add syrup, milk, extract and mix, scrape sides of the bowl, add last part of sugar and mix to incorporate, then whip on high for 3 minutes.

Sick Days

2011-10-07T13:29:00.000-07:00

Brooks started getting sick while I was at a wedding on Saturday evening. Fortunately my parents were here with him and John got home earlier than expected around 8pm. The dude was so pitiful, all congested and coughing these old man coughs, so not cool.

I looked up his symptoms on Dr. Google and concluded that he had croup. A virus that just needed to go through him and we just needed to wait out, but he started getting worse and John was coming down with it. Off to the hippie doctor we go just to rule out pneumonia.

An hour before his appointment he was in his car seat asleep and started coughing, he couldn't get a deep enough breath to cough. I panicked, if you know me especially when it comes to him I don't panic. If I paniced with him everytime there was cause I would have had a heart attack by now. So this was my time, I was due. We had just arrived at John's school and I scooped him up and we went straight to a shower. Once the steam from the shower started going and he started walking the congestion cleared up a LOT and he was able to breathe deeply again. I can't imagine having to go through what parents with special needs children go through on a daily basis. To listen to your little one in distress regularly is beyond comprehension.

By Tuesday John was fully in the throws of the illness and since he had worked a bunch of extra hours he decided to close down the shop at school and take off the rest of the week. Wednesday and Thursday turned into recuperating days. We unfolded the sofa into a bed in the living room and camped out there. All three of us, resting and relaxing, catching up on reading and TV. It was glorious and I was convinced that it helped me stave off this plague, then I woke up this morning to a throat of razor blades. Oh well nice try, maybe next time.

Pumpkin Granola

2011-10-04T12:36:00.001-07:00

Let me start off by saying that I am not a food blogger, but if you know me, you know I love food and I really enjoy baking. I tried several recipes out first and combined about three and added my own stuff to make this. I had wanted to make something with pumpkin for a while, but not your everyday, run of the mill muffin or cupcake (although I did both of those). I had been looking for a while at making our own granola and weighing the cost benefit to just buying it. Cost wise, it's about the same, flavor wise I'm about to blow your mind!

Pumpkin Granola

5 cups rolled oats (not quick)
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 Tablespoons honey
1/2 cup plus 2 Tbsp pumpkin
1/4 cup applesauce
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
6 oz dried cherries (standard size bag)
1/2 cup almonds

Preheat oven to 325F, line a jelly roll pan (cookie sheet with sides) with parchment paper.

Mix the oats, and spices together in a large bowl. When you think your bowl is big enough get a bigger one. In a medium sized bowl wisk together brown sugar, honey, pumpkin, applesauce, maple syrup, and vanilla until fully blended. I used homemade applesauce so mine wasn't smooth, but if you are using store bought applesauce this should be a smooth mixture.

Pour wet mixture over dry mixture and fold to cover all the oats. Folding I found to be the best method, as you don't want to break up the oats. Once the oats are moist add cherries and give a few final turns.

While this is cooking you want to chop or slice your almonds. If you decide to chop them, this should be a very rough chop and the pieces rather large.

Spread mixture onto lined baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes, stir and bake for another 20 minutes. Once it's done add the almonds, and stir. Let cool on the baking sheet or put in an open container, but not one that is deep as you want the moisture to finish releasing.

So you aren't opening a can of pumpkin and having a bunch left over this recipe can be doubled and just use the entire can of pumpkin. But make sure you have a HUGE ASS bowl for the mixing.

When you're done, you get this....mmmmm....so good. Our house guest this week as asked for it several times. You can eat it as cereal with milk, or on top of yoghurt, I even put some into some pumpkin flavored pancakes for a little crunch. Store in an air tight container and enjoy!

I Meet Famous People

2011-10-03T15:56:00.000-07:00

Wow! I can't believe it's already Monday. The end of last week feels like a blur. A friend of mine got married and we had all the wedding festivities to attend. When I say "we" I mean me, well me and my best friend from Paris. I got to see him three days in a row, spend copious hours chatting about everything under the sun, recreating my senior prom (he was my date), and barely wiping a smile from my face for a minute.

In all of these lovely festivities I got to meet cheftestant Jen Carrol from Bravos Top Chef season 6. One of the amazing parties was at the Ritz Carlton in downtown Philly where Eric Ripert's 10 Arts is housed, where Jen is the Chef de Cuisine. I was beyond excited to meet her, as I'm a big fan, but she's also leaving 10 Arts. I'm hoping she stays in the area so we'll be able to eat some of her deliciousness in the years to come.

She was so petite, not that I imagined her to be large, but much smaller than I pictured. She was also incredibly nice. She asked if I knew where I was going, (I didn't) and showed me to log of the evening's events and their locations. THEN she walked me to the elevators which are clear across the lobby. I was trying so hard not the be "THAT" person, but she was kind enough to stop for a picture too.

PS, if you follow me on twitter, you have seen this picture but check me out at blogfilledlife

Do they have a support group for this?

2011-09-28T17:32:00.000-07:00

So I think I have a problem, a shoe problem almost an addiction. Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

Before Brooks was a he, he was Cletus the genderless (to us) fetus. I always said that if I had a girl that I would dress her very gender neutral until she had an opinion on her clothes. Then I had a boy and had to buy clothes and shoes for him. I again said I didn't want color to really play into his wardrobe, which is pretty expensive for a newborn. Totally doable, but pricey. Then he became a toddler and the cut and the look of the clothes are more boyish no matter what the color. Two weeks ago at the library he was in a red and white striped romper and sandals and was called a girl by almost everyone. I don't care, really I don't. What I do care about are his shoes.

The boy has some shoes, and right now my favorite shoes are by a company out of Austria called Superfit. Through hand me downs and a gift he currently owns 3 pairs of their shoes and they are BEYOND awesome. They stay on his foot, have a nice supportive but flexible sole and come up a little on his ankle to give this new walker a little extra support. So when Brooks "needed" (I use that word very loosly since he currently has 5 pair in rotation) a pair of black shoes I went straight to them. It took me FOREVER to figure out the brand name, but that was my own damn fault. Once I got it though I was hot on their trail.

I looked all over the US and Canada for a dealer or distributor, none. OK, the website was coming up a little wonky so I emailed the company. I was told they didn't have any dealers or online sources over here, but they are all over Europe. SCORE!!! I have friends, including Brooks' god-father in Europe. I find the pair I'm looking for and then find the shop near my friend's house. This is all working out way too well, He's visiting this weekend for a wedding he can just bring them and then I don't have to pay shipping, this is Brilliant.

Apparently shops in Paris don't usually have websites, I'm not sure if this is commonplace in all of Europe, but that's how it is there. I track down the shop's number, look up a few vocabulary words to refresh my French and dial their number. The shop keeper was lovely, I told him I lived in the US and spoke a little French and that I could understand if he spoke slowly, which he did, not like I'm hard of hearing slowly, but like I don't really speak your language and I'm getting every third word kind of slowly. His shop carries, the brand, style and size for Brooks. Done and done. Email all the specifics to the friend and he will pick them up on Sunday.

Sunday rolls around and I get a call from my friend, the shoes which are 12,95€ on Amazon France are 60€ at the shop, that's around $80. That's way to steep for baby shoes, unless they are dipped in gold, but then they would be too heavy, so it's a lose lose. I tell him never mind and decide to order them from Amazon France. They won't ship to my house, but obviously they ship to my friend's. Order placed 15 minutes later, easy peasy. Until I wake up the next morning and there are two emails from Amazon France saying that the shoes are on back order and will be delayed by 4 days. This will not work at all, since that has them arriving right in the middle of my friend's visit to the US.

So back on the hunt for black shoes for my son that aren't sneakers, have a sole, but a flexible one, don't cost $80, stay on his foot and don't look stupid. He may not be wearing anything that doesn't coordinate with his brown shoe collection, until his god-father comes home for Christmas and brings the kid shoes.

In-betweensy

2011-09-22T16:54:00.000-07:00

What do you call your child when they are no longer technically an infant, but not into full toddler-dom? He's over a year, which qualifies him as a toddler, but he's still crawling like an infant, he's inbetween. What do you call him an todfant? Indler? Come up with a new word? But what word best describes a little dude/ette who isn't running around like a maniac but crawling around and getting into everything, the sweetest most adorable pain in the ass ever (I don't think this goes away).

It's the inbetweens that kill me. Right after he started rolling over and being less of a lump around 4 months, I was very cautious around him with the lump-esque babies. Now I have to be careful with him around other infants, ones that are mobile, but aren't running like him, or when he's around toddlers and older kids where he needs to be protected. Does this cycle ever end?

I feel like when he's 4 he can play with 8 year olds, he won't be at the same place emotionally or physically, but at least he'll be stretched by them in both areas. When's he's 8, he'll be able to play with 4 year olds, because he's going to be a very careful, thoughtful and conscientious, and think through everything before he acts. This happens right, because I care and because I put everything on the interweb, right?

I deserve Hazard Pay

2011-09-19T15:19:00.001-07:00

It happened to my Dad last January, and me yesterday. We pulled our boob muscle, a.k.a. pectoral or pectoralis major which majorly sucks. My dad thought he was having a heart attack when he had his, now I know what it feels like, and it's awful. Why is this blog worthy? Because of the nature in which this injury occurred, reaching behind us to attend to Brooks while in the car.

Unfortunately this job (nor my father's as grand-parent) comes with workman's comp or hazard pay. We're going to have to remember this when it's time to renegotiate our contracts.

Major Changes

2011-09-13T17:55:00.000-07:00

Three weeks ago tomorrow our sweet Geraldine went to the big dog park in the sky. She was 15 and her health and quality of life had seriously deteriorated over the past year. She could no longer go down the stairs in the house, which meant she was relegated to the first floor. She also was getting sick at least once a week. There was a whole laundry list of issues some worse than others.

Neither John nor I had ever had to do this before. I drove down to his parent's house and his dad met me there. I dropped her off, kissed her good bye and left. He waited and brought her back to his house and buried her next to his dog and cat that had passed the year before. So we'll always be able to visit her, but I miss our sweet Jellybean.

The following week my parents met us in Annapolis for my birthday weekend, and to pick up Nanette. After getting back from the beach Nanette, bite Brooks and then bit me. If you know Nanette you know that she is "touched", she suffers from severe anxiety. Her anxiety had gotten so bad that we could up her meds one more level and that was it. My parents have been asking for her to come and stay with them for a while, and it just seemed like the right time. We are desperately hoping that our Princess will come home next fall, but I'm having my doubts.

She is living the sweet dog life. She goes grape picking with my dad, out to breakfast with him each morning, chinquapin hunting, sleeping at night in their room or lounging on the back of the couch. She might decide that she wants to stay at summer camp and not come back to boarding school. We are thrilled that our Princess is thriving, it's all we ever wanted.

So, in two weeks we went from 3 dogs, a cat and a baby, to 1 dog, a cat and a baby, it's still nutso here.