My Bottom Smarts

MBS Spanko Brunch #199

2009-11-08T06:00:00.000-08:00

It's time for brunch again and I thank you all for joining us. Our topic was suggested by an MBS reader.

What role, if any, does scolding play in your spanking experiences? How frequently is it used? What are the reasons? How does the spankee typically react?

To join our conversation, all you need to do is enter a comment below. Once everyone has shared their thoughts, I will post an edited summary.

In with the New: Pass the Cranberry Sauce Edition

2009-11-04T18:00:00.003-08:00

Get ready because another bumper crop of exciting young spanking-oriented blogs is headed your way!

I hope everyone will explore these thirteen new blogs and welcome the bloggers to our community. If you find something good while you're visiting, I encourage you to share your praise and support in the form of comments. I can guarantee your words will be appreciated.

Ageplay and Domestic Discipline
All Southern Girl
BabyMan and SugarAnne
Becoming His Mandy
Birchwood Academy
Daddy's Girl
Gentleman's Guide to DD
Janet's Fiction
Katia's Writings
Miss Nicole's Randoms
RandomMusings
The Spanking Universe
Whip's Blogspace

We extend the hand of friendship to each of you! I hope your blogging experiences will be rewarding and fun.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 1

2009-11-02T18:00:00.000-08:00

Our topic this week was advice for a new mother who is seeking to re-kindle her spanking relationship with her husband. Here are your words of wisdom.

Todd and Suzy: We've had times when spankings were an everyday part of our lives, and other times when it's been several weeks. We do tend to talk about spanking quite a bit though, even during those dry spells. That seems to be the number one thing we do to keep the interest going. Beyond that, we do things like get new implements, watch videos, talk with like-minded friends, blog, read stories, and go to parties. Basically, we keep spanking at least in the background.

If you're thinking and talking about it as a couple, actual spankings will flow naturally. While doing things like planning out free time certainly helps, spanking doesn't seem like the sort of thing that can be forced. As for whether it will go away if you leave it alone, that depends upon the person. We've seen people walk away from spanking and seemingly not miss it. Others couldn't give it up, even when they very much wanted to.

Indy: Earlier this year, a rather horrific tragedy occurred in my family. That certainly curtailed my desire for quite a while. I continued to play a little with my regular partners, mostly just for the reassurance of human touch rather than because I really wanted to be spanked. I even attended a couple parties in that time, mainly to see friends who I knew were concerned about me.

In that time, I didn't try anything new or push limits very much. I just enjoyed the endorphin rush and the stress relief. A couple of months later, I found myself REALLY wanting a spanking in a way that I hadn't in a quite a while. So I think keeping my bottom in it with not particularly challenging spanking play, filled with chatting and laughter, helped a lot.

Anon #1: You re-kindle your activity in this form of intimacy just as you do in any other form of intimacy. What works for you there should be tried here. Sometimes, just going out for a night on the town, with no intimacy or its pressures, establishes a feeling of closeness between a couple. The next day, when you both are warm and fuzzy inside, it's OK to sit over coffee or tea and talk about what is and is not happening in your lives. Good luck. Keep the lines of communication open. Life throws you its barriers. It's up to you and your partner to climb over, dig under or run around them.

Caylee: I think there needs to be a sense of easing back into spanking for it to work again. If you just bend over your husband’s lap and he starts whacking away, the pressure of thinking “I used to like this! Why aren’t I liking this now?” will prevent you from fully enjoying the experience. Instead of being a stress reliever, it’s just piling on more. Somehow, it seems like you need to relax before you start spanking. Something like an intimate massage with a couple of smacks thrown in might help, or a warm bath together beforehand. Anon #1's idea about the night on the town was an awesome one – anything out of the ordinary and romantic would be wonderful.

Also, for what it’s worth, having a new baby in the house can’t exactly be helping the stress levels. Getting a close friend or family member to babysit might do wonders, even if it’s just for a couple of hours while you and your husband reconnect without interruptions. In any case, I think the fact that you wish spanking was present in your life means that the desire is just dormant, not gone forever. Good luck, and best of wishes to you, your husband, and the new baby!

Maryann: You recently had a baby. Do whatever you can to be kind to yourself and to your husband. You both need every kindness you can get. A new baby is a wonderful blessing, but also a tremendous undertaking.

When I was nursing a tiny baby, I barely wanted to be touched by anybody else. All of my touch needs were met by the baby. I pushed my husband away.

When I was ready, as it sounds like you are since you are asking the question, I made a choice to put the baby in the swing or the playpen more often. We got out of the house with her in her stroller or car seat a bit more. Basically I just made sure I wasn't saturated with touch when my husband came home. In short order, we were touching each other again.

You'll be fine. Just be kind to yourself.

Muffin: There are lots of good comments here. I'm with Maryann. When I had my babies, I discovered that I didn't want to be bothered, either. There was a sense of needing to find "places" for everybody in the household again. My (then) husband was jealous of the time I spent with the baby, and I was angry about that. So take your time, let everyone settle into their place in the home. As Anon #1 said, get alone together for some private time. Go with any intimate touch, and reassure your husband that you haven't gone off spanking permanently. It'll probably come back to you. I find that my own spanking desire comes in waves or cycles. When I was pregnant the first time was when I "came out" to my first husband (who was vanilla, and was horrified when I asked him to spank me." But after the baby came, I couldn't have been bothered! Life changes do affect your spanking desires. Best wishes and congrats on the new baby!

Prefectdt: I once tried to give up the lifestyle, for about three years. In doing this, I burnt a lot of bridges and upset some people by totally cutting off from them. This was a mistake. It would be only natural that you may need to get away from kinky friends and groups right now, but it it is probably better to do it with tact. This way, you know that they will be there later if you want them.

Anon #2: I have no advice other than the basic communicate well and often. I'm thinking good thoughts for you and your family, though.

Dr. Ken: Interest in spanking can ebb and flow, depending upon what life throws at you. At some point, it usually does come back. You just have to ride it out and give it time.

You can't "force" it, though. Forcing it just might turn your play partner off and make playing with you the last thing they want to do. You both need to work your way through this new situation and get used to a new routine. Eventually, you can find your way back to some of your old beloved routines.

Brat: As one who has never had a baby, I would be the last one to be able to offer an empathetic response. However, you and I have one thing in common. We can both put our feelings into the written word (in my case, better than the spoken word!). I suggest that you write down your feelings/desires and leave the paper in a place where he will see it. Reading that will give him insight, and a man with insight is truly a beautiful creature!

Bonnie: I believe it's very likely you can achieve the change you seek, but it probably needs to be a gradual process. The improvement begins with a few small things. Consider a favorite meal, a gentle touch, an unexpected kiss, words of praise, or a good morning smile. The second step, as so many other have mentioned, is opening lines of communication. You need to talk regularly about adult subjects (yes, the baby IS cute, but there needs to be room for other conversations).

Hopefully, intimacy will naturally happen from there. If it doesn't, you might try scheduling an evening for romance. One of the great features of (most) newborns is that once they are warm, happy and full of milk, they tend to fall asleep and remain that way for a while. You'll learn soon enough that older kids aren't nearly so predictable.

I wish you both the very best and I hope you are able to live your dreams. A baby is a huge responsibility and a continuing distraction, but I can assure you that there are plenty of parents who manage to keep the home fires burning.

Thank you all for sharing your excellent advice!

MBS Spanko Brunch #198

2009-11-01T06:00:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody and welcome back! It's time again for our weekly discussion.

Our topic was originally submitted by an MBS reader as an Ask Bonnie query. But I decided it was too good a question to keep for myself. Here we go...

"How do you get back into spanking after a big life change and a change in desire that goes along with it?

I recently had a baby and during my pregnancy I totally wanted to be spanked all of the time. Now I don't want to be spanked or do anything that goes along with it. My husband and I are bickering and that leads to a lack of sexual desire for me. The idea of asking for a spanking just seems weird when we're not getting along.

On the other hand, I believe that getting back into spanking would be good for our relationship. Spankings have a way of relieving my stress, and his too I believe. It also creates a more respectful and playful household which we are so lacking right now.

So, how do I force myself to get back into it when there isn't much desire at present? And if I leave it alone, will it just go away? Will spanking never be a part of our lives again? In other words, do I have to do something to rekindle, and if yes, have you any suggestions?"

There you have it, right from the source. How can we help our friend? What guidance would you offer?

Please leave your response in the form of a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to answer, I will post an edited summary of our discussion.

The Spanko Tapes

2009-10-28T18:00:00.003-07:00

This post has been literally months in the making. For the amusement of MBS readers, I recorded a conversation between Randy and me. I transcribed the discussion immediately before a spanking. It was fun and readers seemed to enjoy it.

So, I figured, why not record a spanking? Wouldn't that be even better?

As it turned out, the transcribed audio from a single spanking was fairly boring. After about five iterations, “Whack! Ow!” becomes monotonous, especially in printed format.

I needed another idea. There was some good dialogue, but these nuggets were often widely spaced. So I assembled the following series of vignettes from a number of different recordings. All of the dialogue took place while Randy was giving me a spanking. I edited ever so slightly to enhance the clarity, but the conversations are otherwise authentic.

R: What a beautiful round bottom you have

B: Ow. Thanks, I think

R: I love how it flares at the hips and kind of tucks under where it meets your legs

B: Ouch!

R: And these curvaceous crests right here...

B: If you love it, why do you hit it? Oh!

R: Because your rear looks so gorgeous painted red

B: I guess I should have expected that answer

- - - - -

R: Do you know why I spank you hard?

B: Because if you spanked me softly, I might not notice?

R: No

B: Is it so I'll remember you fondly?

R: You're getting warmer

B: Very funny

R: I spank you hard because you deserve it

B: I deserve it? How so?

R: You soooo deserve your hard spankings

B: Why? I've been good

R: Precisely. For a woman who loves to be spanked, what better reward could there be? You totally deserve to be spanked until you can't sit

B: (silence)

R: You especially love it when I hit you with this brush. Right HERE where you sit...

B: Ouch. You're confusing me

- - - - -

B: Eeeyow! What is that?

R: It's a paddle

B: It hurts

R: You're getting spanked. It's supposed to hurt

B: Yeah, so you say. But what is that thing?

R: Wouldn't you like to know. Hey, get back in position!

B: I just wanted to see what you are using

R: Just for that, you'll get double

B: Double what?

R: Double spankings

B: If you always decide when it's done anyway, double has no meaning for me

R: OK, then. Does this have a meaning?

B: Ack! No. Wait!

R: So do you like double? Or would you like to try for triple?

B: You're mean

R: That may be, but your bottom is bright red

B: Double mean

R: How do you feel about quadruple sore?

B: Humpf

- - - - -

R: Your ass is simply designed with spanking in mind. It's perfect. I spank really hard and it just bounces right back

B: That's because I work out

R: No, really. I think it's like an evolutionary advantage. You are the product of centuries of spanko women

B: I don't think my mother was a spanko

R: Well maybe it was a great-aunt or something, but you have the ass genes

B: How could I inherent ass genes from my great-aunt, Mr. Science?

R: Easy, they're recessive

B: I don't even think I have a great-aunt

R: Work with me here. Nature designed you to lie across my lap

B: So did (adult daughter) get these genes?

R: We're not going there

B: She should have gotten my cast iron butt and your neanderthal sense of humor, right?

R: Obviously, I'm not spanking hard enough

B: Ow!

- - - - -

R: So are you having fun yet?

B: Fun?

R: Yeah, you tell all your blog friends how much fun it is to get your butt beat. Are you enjoying this?

B: I don't know. Ow

R: To read your blog, you'd think this (whack whack whack!) is pretty much better than a chocolate orgasm

B: I didn't say that

R: Are you *sure* you didn't say that?

B: No, but it doesn't sound like something I would say

R: Nevertheless, you say that spankings are fun

B: Yeah, I guess

R: So, is this spanking fun?

B: Ow. Yes, it is. Ouch.

R: Are we a bit sarcastic?

B: You ask a lot of questions

R: I just want to know if you're having a good time

B: OK, I'm loving it all. All except the twenty questions that is

R: Do you really love it?

B: %#$&!

- - - - -

So, there you have it. There's a lot more, but these snippets should provide a taste of our banter.

Ask Bonnie: The Solicitation

2009-10-27T06:00:00.001-07:00

You asked me to answer, so I'm answering you by asking...

...Have you any questions for me?

If you are so inclined, you can leave me a comment or send me an e-mail.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Oct 25

2009-10-26T18:00:00.003-07:00

Our topic for the week was favorite Halloween characters and their spanko inclinations. Here are your thoughts.

Anon #1: I would be Count Dracula. Instead of biting my damsel's neck, I would take her across my knees, lower her lingerie, and bite her bottom softly. Then I would put some color in it with a gradually increasing intensity spanking.

Hermione: I would be Little Lulu, in a short red dress and big white bloomers, with my hair in ringlets. Lulu often got spanked in the comic books of my childhood, so I'm sure there would be an opportunity for history to repeat itself.

If we were dressing up as a couple, Ron would be Peter Pan, the boy who never grew up, and I would be that naughty little Tinkerbell. Peter would have to spank Tink for being so mischievous.

Missy: Right now I'm reading The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane. It's a new novel about the Salem Witch Trials, and written by a descendent of two of the accused. I love history and I've always been fascinated by the story. I even played Mary Warren in The Crucible in high school.

In the play, her boss John Proctor twice threatens to whip her if she doesn't stop making up stories and accusing innocent people, but he never actually does. I used to look with covert longing at the switch hanging conspicuously on the wall while ostensibly running my lines. In one scene, I had to grab it from him and hiss,"Nay! There'll be no more whippings." While my inner spanko self wheedled subversively,"Okay, just one more then." LOL

I would love to dress up and do a revisionist alternative version of the classic play, where Mary does get both of those threatened/promised punishments, and comes to her senses before anyone is executed.

And because spanking is romantic for me, I might even have Mary and the handsome young Reverend Hale fall in love. They would realise their mutual feelings when he was spanking her for bearing false witness. That's a commandment, so it's a biggie to a minister! As young newlyweds, Mary would earn a trip over her otherwise fond and doting (of course! LOL) husband's knee for everything from carelessly letting the cakes burn while gossiping in the street, to joking about her new name being the very un-Puritan sounding, "Hale, Mary."

Janet: I would love to dress as a Victorian lady of substantial means. You know, she's the type we always read about in romance novels with a beautiful satin gown with a low cut front and the thick dress layers, petticoats, corsets, etc.

It would be fun to see how long it took my HOH to get through the layers and down to business!

Prefectdt: I would like to dress as the ghost of T.E. Lawrence (aka Lawrence of Arabia), in all his Bedouin finery. He was just about the most respect-worthy, adventuring spankee who ever lived.

How would I work spanking into this role? Easy. I would just act like Lawrence and get my ass whupped by as many people (preferably female) as I could.

Our Bottoms Burn: I will be dressed, again, as John Wayne. Stop by and let's see if we can work spanking and related fun into the evening. [grinning]

I always wanted to spank Tinker Belle.

Anon #2: I would be dressed as the headmaster with my woman as the naughty student. I would wear a shirt and tie. She would wear a school uniform with high socks. She would, of course, have non-traditional lingerie under the outfit, giving me the extra reason to spank her when I check out her adherence to school policy. Of course, we would have other rules that she violated such as smoking, hanging out in the boys' bathroom, etc. So it would be a very fun evening for us.

Anon #3: My boyfriend is dressing as a super hero from a 1990's TV show. I'm not sure how I will dress up to complement it. I've thought about just dressing in some of our favorite dress-up outfits and doing a fashion show at our personal Halloween party. I doubt I'll be attending a more traditional one this year anyway.

Jean Marie: Missy's posting was so hot!

My boyfriend will compliment me this year. I have a Native American headdress that I show to my school class when we study how tribes used their environments. I'll wear it and a tan (leather-looking) string bikini, moccasins, and war paint on my face and nothing else, going as Tonto. Kyle has a tight gray ensemble with a white cowboy hat, black mask and boots, going as the Lone Ranger. Kemosabe may even hint publicly about the smoke-signals we send with my fiery bottom when behind closed doors. Hi-Yo!

Ms. Betty: We dress up at work, and this year I've chosen the Devil in a Blue Dress as my costume. I think a braided rope whip hanging from my belt will be the perfect accessory.

Six of the Best: I would like to go dressed as President Obama, and meet someone who looks like Sarah Palin. Upon being introduced to her, I would take her over my knee, raise her dress waist high, pull down her panties, and while she is only wearing garter-belt and stockings, spank that bare bottom of hers, good and proper. And I mean blushing red.

Padme: I dressed up as a Goth schoolgirl this year for Halloween when I went to a play party. The character that I'd like to be for Halloween is Padme from the Star Wars movies. I've seen the costume and I'd love to wear it one day! :)

I would wear my costume for Master Anakin and get him to dress up in his Darth Vader costume and we would roleplay and he would spank me with his lightsaber. We'd have a lot of fun with it all for Halloween! :)

Dave: My favorite thing is dressing as a deadly Ninja warrior, complete with totally fake looking cheesy sword. :-) So I can unleash my inner Samurai spanko powers.

Poppy: We don't really do dressing up for Halloween on this side of the pond, but if we did, I would be a little dull and go as a schoolgirl. I would be enrolled in a school and, well, you know the rest.

Jennie: The schoolgirl is the classic. I once wore an authentic *grin* schoolgirl outfit to a Halloween party. I even had the little criss-cross tie. I got spanks from people (guys) who I had no clue were into it.

Other than that, I want to be a Southern belle with a big ol' hoop skirt and billowly (what are they called?) underwear with legs and little frills at the end. Come and get me, Rhett!

Missy: Oh, thank you, JeanMarie. That was really sweet. You've consistently been one of my favorite MBS brunchers and your Indian costume sounds great. I've always loved the 'Colors of the Wind' sequence in Pocahontas. We sang that in my high school chorus in '95.

Jennie, they're called 'bloomers' and I got mine at an online shop called The Misty Thicket. They have a drawstring waist with a little blue ribbon. They're so easy to untie before when you're fearful and hesitant, and re-tie after when you're tearful and penitent.

Jai: This year, Halloween is not gonna be candy filled and party studded, mainly because I have an evil religion professor who enjoys major tests and abhors the idea of Halloween (Please pity me!).

So, instead, I will tell you about my favorite costume. When I was a junior in high school, I went out with my friends dressed as Hester Prynne from Hawthorne's "The Scarlet Letter". Full cap and gown and heavy shawl overthrow with a red felt letter A on my chest.

Thinking back, that is a great costume to be spanked in! A puritan harlot? LOL

Muffin: We don't really do Halloween either, so it's just as well. I guess it would be easy to go as a naughty nurse, since I am one already. And I've lost enough weight now, I might be able to get back into my schoolgirl skirt. As for Mr. D, he always makes a great headmaster. Other than that, we have no imagination here at all. Some of your ideas were really cute, though.

Loki: I like Jiminy Cricket and Tinkerbell because the wife and I had planned to recreate the spanking picture that was done with them.

We can't do it this year, but just wait until next Halloween!

Bonnie: We're going to a (vanilla) Halloween party this weekend. Randy will be a lumberjack (think red plaid shirt and suspenders). I plan to be a sexy witch. I have a fairly short, black dress and I plan to wear it with a black cape, black hose, and the expected black, pointed witch hat. I know Randy will appreciate this look. The only question is whether he will find it necessary to spank before or after the party.

Thanks, everybody!

MBS Spanko Brunch #197

2009-10-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

Halloween provides us with a classic opportunity to pretend to be someone (or something) we are not. We've talked about spankings at Halloween before, but it's been a couple of years. I think it's time to revisit this question.

What character would you like to be this Halloween? Assuming you were dressed as your character, how would you work spanking and related fun into your holiday celebration?

To share your answer to our question, you can enter a comment below. Once everyone has taken a turn, I will post an edited summary of our brunch conversation.

Keyword Chaos: Writer's Block Edition

2009-10-22T18:00:00.002-07:00

Keyword Chaos strikes again. Here are some search phrases that somehow brought people to MBS.

different tickling positions - Really, who knew?

discipline bride, spanking, sex - Though not necessarily in that order

doggy style punishment - Please don't hit me on the nose with a newspaper

even though you're adult spanking is still possible - It's more than just possible

family paddling discipline wife - The family that flays together stays together

free lessons on how to spank your wife - Where's Arthur Murray when we need him?

homemade thong brush spanking - I wonder which part is homemade?

how to spank without damaging skin - Consider a cold shower

how to stop the wooden paddle of bakers to burn - Don't use it as a spanking implement

I must spank my wife - You really need to just ignore those voices in your head

kinky progressive girl commercial - You'll need a trampoline, a pogo stick, and a bushel basket of turnips

Mandy skirts up panties down spanking stories - It's got to be Mandy. Mindy stories simply won't do.

mechanical spankers - Danger, danger, Will Robinson!

naughty playful little girls adult spanking - OK, let's make up our minds here. Naughty or playful? Little girls or adults?

pail relief spanking therapy - I'm still not fully recovered from that traumatic trip to the beach last summer

spanked in her foundation garments - Discipline must be built upon a firm foundation

spanking beanches - Bean nachos? Beatrice branches? Beat ranches?

spanking naughty sissies - Of course no one would bother spanking the well-behaved sissies

spanking shame massage - Say what?

spanking simulators - I can't imagine that would be very satisfying

spanking wife types - If she can type and spank at the same time, that's some serious multi-tasking

spanking your bitch - You leave that pooch alone!

spankos shoe inserts - There's a whole other world out there

trailers of first time spankings - I have to think that most first time spankings don't happen in mobile homes

whack your wift - Oh, hello Elmer

young wives get bare bottom spankings - Old wives take what we can get

extended wear butt plug - Another fine product from Bausch and Lomb

pleated school skirt humiliated - You pathetic piece of cloth! Your plaid is crooked, your pleats are wrinkled, and you're way too short!

adult pankings - My dictionary tells me that pank is a Croatian word meaning punk. So adult panking must be some sort of messy Balkan age regresssion

Bonnie's bare bubble butt - For your information, my bubble butt is fully clothed right now

curing spank fantasy - Cure? Why in the world would we want to cure that?

did you have a red bottom after the spanking - Does the Pope wear a funny hat?

experiences of housewives who get still spankings - As opposed to those who move around?

fun loving punishment for my man - Never the twain shall meet, or so I thought

I need adult stories about Anakin and Padme - That's a whole different blog

I spanked my wife - Congratulations and I hope you both enjoyed the experience

is spanking girlfriend disrespectful? - Not if she likes it

Kate James spanko - Right you are

Miss Lucy scheduled spanking - She can work you in next Tuesday at 4:20

rasta cheerleading spanks - Mon, you really need to lighten up on the ganga

reluctantly putting on silky panties - The cotton pair gets so jealous

sex positions illustrated - I wonder what's going to be in the swimsuit edition this year

skinny ass to bubble butt - All it took was a quart of chocolate ice cream every night for a month

spanking horse butts pics - Beating a 1500 pound animal sounds like a huge mistake

spanking stories about bones - She's red, Jim

spanking t-shirt pants white socks - What do white socks...? Wait. Never mind. Don't explain it.

Spanko decor - I could totally write a post about Nuevo Spanko Style

the female bottom is designed to spank - Yeah, that's what Randy always tells me

what is the spanking present position? - That's where you lie naked over the kitchen table with a bow stuck onto your bottom

what were you spanked with? - A trailing preposition

why do I want to spank myself? - Because you haven't found a suitable partner yet

why does my husband smack my bum in public? - Because he knows you like it

wif spank - Swing and a miss, strike one!

Roman spanking - Just hope they don't make you count the strokes

In with the New: Frost Warning Edition

2009-10-20T06:00:00.002-07:00

Could there be even more excellent young spanking-oriented blogs?

You betcha!

I invite MBS readers to visit these fourteen new additions to our community. If you find something you like, I encourage you to share your praise and support in the form of comments. I can guarantee your words will be appreciated.

A Disciplined Life
Bumtickler
Finding Our Way
Home at Last
Husbandly Touch
Jslittlelady's Blog
Just Peter
Kisses n' Stuff
Leaving Logic at the Door
Lily Starr's Spanking Blog
News of the Lash
Spanking Place
Spanking Stories and Pictures
Tales of Spanking and Sexual Acts

We happily welcome all of you! I hope your blogging experience will be rewarding and enjoyable.

MarQe's Study Order of Merit

2009-10-19T18:00:00.001-07:00

I am delighted to announce that My Bottom Smarts was recently awarded the MarQe's Study Order of Merit.

That's very cool. Thank you, MarQe!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Oct 18

2009-10-18T18:00:00.006-07:00

Our topic this week was sources for spanking implements. Here are your ideas.

RPT (Fred Bloggs): The Home Depot and Wal-Mart kitchen department are better than sex shops to the totally perverted looking for pervertibles. Online, I use eBay. Yay for kinky folk selling implements. Search for Kinky, Spanking or Fetish.

The London Fetish fair is wonderful to browse around.

R Humphries: There are some great purveyors of specialist wares on the net. Adam and Gillian, Canes4Pain and The London Tanners are all superb. For caniacs, I'd highly recommend the Deluxe Cane from Adam and Gillian. It comes with a handy protective carrying case and a storage scabbard.

However, some of the great finds are happened upon unexpectedly, We have a 99 cent flat-faced wooden spatula that My Beloved Jojo calls the 'skin-sucker.' We found it in Wal-Mart. Maybe best of all, There's a wooden spoon I came across while exploring the Northern Andes in Peru. It's made from perished wood and is ideal for close-in OTK operations. Keep your eyes peeled and you'll find great spanking instruments in the most unlikely of venues!

Katia: Most of my implements have been gifts from girlfriends, which I always love to reciprocate.

The few I have purchased have come from Cane-iac. I am in the process of having John from Leather Thorn Paddles make me a custom one as a gift for my hubby.

I have to wonder how many people have ended up with those cooking implements that Luke tested on my tush in the department stores. :)

Charlie: I find that the best place is my wood working shop. I love finding some exotic wood and making a lovely paddle – with or without holes. I then put on some extra finish to give it that perfect ouch!

Spanky: I vote for home improvement places like Lowe's or Home Depot. They are a good source for 5-gallon paint stirrers, which make amazing spanking implements. They are given away free if you ask. Be sure to give them a good sanding before you use them though. We've been using the same one for several years, and I really like it. There are lots of other pervertables at such stores, too.

Hermione: I like checking out the kitchen supply websites for spoons and spatulas. Willams-Sonoma and Ashton Green stock great kitchenware pervertibles of high quality. They are heavy enough to make an impact and durable so they won't break. Pottery Barn is a good source for bath brushes.

For riding crops, whips and bats, try a local tack shop, or order from Horse Tack Co.

My favourite places to browse are thrift shops and flea markets. If they sell clothing, there are always plenty of thick, supple leather belts and slippers, and who knows what else you might find?

Anon VII: I remember, back in the '70s, there were a lot of bumper stickers throughout the South and Southwest that read, "When in doubt, whup it out" (it's a bad pun under the circumstances, I know!). Well, I've "whupped out" several implements for us, since we've not been satisfied with much we've found. One exception was the fantastic paddle she found at a local place called simply “The Toy Store.” She also found our favorite spanking attire for her there, plus a pair of absolutely ridiculous, but useful, platform shoes at a flea market.

Online has been a flop. Ergo, I've made most of our implements. Our favorite is a long paddle that's thin and hard,. It's wider at the business end than at the swinging end to give it added momentum and has a couple of small metal strips epoxied to the end on the outer side to add to the impact. ,I added a thick coat of varathane on the impact side to make it almost like Lexan, but without the weight. Both the sound and the effect are similar to leather, but with added force and bite. Another favorite is a thick leather paddle that I fashioned from a piece of an industrial machine belt scavenged from an old factory that was being torn down.

Jean Marie: I'm the Queen of Pervertibles!

I got a large-headed rubber spatula at a Tupperware party, and then had to sit and wait for everyone to leave my house before my lover could try it out on me. It's one of my favorites!

I inherited a razor strap from my Grandpa's estate, but it was stiff and cracked. So imagine my glee when I found a better quality one at a yard sale! And from Grandma, I got a rattan carpet-beater that is lethal.

My boyfriend will go shopping with me, just so we can rummage around together. For example, he'll veer off from me in a shoe store to buy a pair of Keds tennis shoes. The pebbly soles really smart, almost as much as a flat rubber soled pair of bedroom slippers he bought to paddle me. In the Beauty Supply store, he'll try out every flat wooden hairbrush against the palm of his hand until I'm so turned-on that I have to leave. In the hardware store, there are slender wooden dowls (homemade canes), lengths of rubber hose, even just an extension cord can be applied with excellent results.

Handsdown: Thank you all so much for posting responses to my question. I've also found my most beloved wooden spoon in the kitchen department at Wal-Mart. I'm also looking at a bread board with a handle. It would be so cool if some of you who make your implements could also post a picture. If you have your own blogs or somewhere to post it. I love home-fashioned implements and the stories behind them (pun intended). LOL I've not been too satisfied with what I've found online so far, but I will check out some of the sites y'all have listed. Again, thanks everyone.

Todd and Suzy: The best place is probably online from a professional company or person that has a good reputation. We especially like those that are actually spankos themselves. The folks at Cane-iac, The London Tanners and our friend Amber race to mind. I would avoid adult bookstore type places. While they usually do have spanking paddles and the like, they're usually low quality and overpriced. Adam and Eve is pretty bad too. It seems easy to find problems when you drift away from the spanko-specific market. We like to keep our money in the community anyway.

As for pervertibles, there are so-so many places. It really depends on what you're looking for. Department stores that sell kitchen implements, errr, items are pretty good. We like antique stores too. But simple places like Wal-Mart and dollar stores are pretty good too. They're everywhere! You just have to look.

Ms. Betty: Your local thrift store is one of the best places for pervertables. Look for shoe horns, spatulas, cutting boards, back scratchers, and odd little wooden knick knacks. The list is endless. I even managed to pick up a functional whip at the one where I work. Oh, and I also found a handy 100 feet of marine rope, but that's another story.

A few months ago, I posted on my blog some pictures of things I've found at my store. It's only the tip of the iceberg. At least once a week, I bring home something useful for warming bottoms. My latest finds were a nice thick hardwood ruler and a hand carved salad fork and spoon set from Ghana.

A few years ago, I even found a nice thick oak paddle with holes at a Salvation Army. You have to do some digging, but any second-hand store is likely to be a pervertable gold mine.

As for new, at least one strap from The London Tanners is a must.

Missy: Online specialty shops tend to be too pricey for me. My favourite implement is a lovely reddish brown Italian calfskin belt I got at the St. George rummage sale (in Gramercy Park) for $3. It's beautiful to wear as a belt as well (a purely secondary concern, LOL). Ironically, the sweet-faced woman who rang it up exclaimed,"What a beautiful belt! This is such a good buy." And later added,"Enjoy your belt." If only she knew!

I wonder if rummage sales in affluent neighborhoods in Kentucky ever sell riding crops?

Anon: The Loveless Cafe has a guitar shaped cutting board that is PERFECT for spanking! This is a must-have item. My girlfriend loves getting spanked with this.

Our Bottoms Burn: Our favorite toys come from our workshop. I cut and shape and Becall sands and varnishes them. It's fun to find out how a piece of wood will feel when made into a paddle.

Betina: In my country, there are not many spanking stores (at least not near where I live). Therefore, I tend to make implements myself or look at the local recycle store. Here you can get great wide leather belts for about two dollars and they can be made into straps and leather paddles.

I made a few wooden paddles and I love hairbrushes too. I also love the flat summer sandals like espadrilles. They are 5-10 dollars and have a sole made of weaved hemp with a rubber finish underneath. There is a good weight and sting in those. They are similar to the feel of a hand, but more ouch effect.

When I go shopping in general, I can't help but notice an object that could maybe have an alternative use.

Mary: The London Tanners have wonderful leather items. The quality is amazing and the feel is divine.

S.N.M.: I have never gone shopping for toys (I've never gotten a chance to play with toys either, unfortunately). However, having tested out a number of pervertables on myself, I think I can confidently say that any store that sells basic kitchenware can satisfy your spanko needs. For cutting boards, spoons, spatulas, etc., Wal-Mart is just fine.

Ronnie: I like kitchen shops (for wooden spoons and spatulas), stationery shops (for wooden and plastic rulers), and DIY stores.

We've bought riding crops and schooling whips from Croft Equestrian.

I recommend Cane-iac and John from Leather Thorn Paddles. His leather paddles are really lovely and both give excellent service.

eBay is another good place.

Radha: The local hardware store is a favorite of ours. We're always there anyway and it's always fun to find a pervertable, or think of various ways to DIY an implement.

Dr. Ken: I don't know about pervertibles, but the best place I've found for implements is The London Tanners. My favorites (so far) are the Ruler Strap and the Boudoir Strap.

Bonnie: My husband, Randy, sees many common objects as potential bottom-warmers. With that sort of ingenuity afoot, I don't have to look very hard.

I think everyone's suggestions are excellent, so there isn't that much left to add. If you want a real fraternity/sorority paddle, try a university bookstore. A few tourist traps in the rural US still sell those cute novelty paddles. They're typically not especially effective, but they are fun as spanko collector's items.

You can find heavy hairbrushes, both wooden and plastic, at a beauty supply store. Then there's eBay, the world's garage sale, for those really unusual pervetibles.

Thanks to everyone who added their experience and expertise to our discussion. I hope you'll join us again next weekend.

MBS Spanko Brunch #196

2009-10-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hello again, dear friends. I hope everyone has recovered from this week's LOL frenzy. Handsdown contributed our brunch question. She asks:

Where is the best place to obtain spanking implements, both those designed for the purpose and trusty pervertibles?

So where are your favorite kinky shopping destinations, be they brick and mortar establishments or web sites? I hope you'll share your discoveries in the form of a comment below. Once everyone has had an opportunity to answer, I will post an edited summary of the proceedings.

Thanks, in advance, for your suggestions!

Love Our Lurkers: The Final Tally

2009-10-16T12:00:00.005-07:00

Wow. Whew. Thanks, everybody!

144 Participating Blogs
2,627 Total Comments

Love Our Lurkers IV

2009-10-13T00:01:00.071-07:00

Welcome, my friends, to our fourth annual Love Our Lurkers Day! This is our community's opportunity to share the love with our silent readers. I know from my statistics that there are thousands of readers of this blog who have never left a comment. If this sounds familiar, then today is for your day.

During last year's event, 87 spanking-oriented blogs posted LOL messages and they received 1,971 comments. Better still, we met many, many great people. Quite a few remain regular readers to this day. Several have become successful bloggers in their own right.

This year, we invited 231 bloggers to participate! And it's all for you.

While we may not see your face or read your words, we know you're out there. Even in silence, your return visits provide a gentle affirmation.

I would like to invite you to leave a comment below. It can be as long or short as you choose. You can use a fake name or no name at all. What's important is that you poke your head up just far enough that we might see you.

If you feel chatty, please feel free to share your outlook on adult spanking. Or if you'd rather, please tell me how I might make this blog more interesting, more useful, more attractive, more spanky, or more fun. I'm always in the market for great new ideas. If a simple hello is enough for you, I'll welcome that as well.

In any case, I look forward to meeting you!

Here's a running list of other great blogs that are participating in today's festivities:

Cherry Red Report	Creative Spanko Wench
Spanked Hortic	Caroline Grey - Getting It
Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies	Turn the Page
AngelBrat	Cutiepie's Sexy Spanking Blog
Spanking Terri	My Spanking Blog
Fantastic Spanking	She Obeys
F/M Spanking World	True Switch
The Inner Workings of Dixie	Curvaceous Dee
Loving Discipline	Terri's Rambles
You Can Say It Here	Laurie's Ramblings of a Madwoman
Spanked, Not Silenced	Spanking Sarah Jane
Kinks and Collars	At Longing's End
Zelda's Time-out	This Girl's Life
Luvbunny's Journal	Submission & Metaphor
Erica Scott	Works of Shrew
Lair of the Dragon Mage	Clare Fonda Spanking
Spectacularly Spanked	Knee-See
A Slave's Tale	Confessions of a Spanked Princess
Michelle Carlyle	Kitty Unleashed
Mystery Minx	Spanking Pixie
All Things Spanking	Davey's Place
My Dirty Little Secret	Dark Musing
James Stephenson	Motions in the Heart of E
Paige Tyler	About Spankings
Winterbrook Hall	Yeowch: English Spanking Erotica
Thomas's Spanking Exploits	Wallflower: Perceptions from the Edge
Robin's Red Bottom	Jay Walker's Blog
Chross Guide	Transitions
Adele Haze's "Spanking Model Speaks"	By Any Other Word
The Punishment Book	Maryann's Thoughts
At a Kinky House	BDSM is Love
Devlin O’Neill’s Weblog	MarQe's Study
Lash-A POV	Insatiable Desire
Random Perverted Thoughts	Voice in the Corner
Under His Hand	The Journey
The Spanking Spot	Think Pink
Jane Says	Radha Sutra
Ludwig's Rohrstock-Palast	El Tercer Ojo
Spanking Online Blog	The Bare Bottom
Spanking Blogg	Spanking News Blog
Ms. Betty's World	Memoirs of a MILF
Ally Steps Forward	Natty's Spanking Blog
Spanking Kate James	Katisms: Ramblings of an überbrat
Green Roots Down	Breaking the Rules
Radspace	Living Domestic Discipline
Tiny Miranda	Strange Imagination
Prayers and Pashminas	Caned Schoolgirls Blog
Spanking Minnesota	Not Quite What I Had in Mind
Red Hot Chili Bottom	A Day in the Life
Vesta's Submission	The S Word
Cultured Discipline	Spanking Bethie
A Subtle Slavegirl	Heart and Soul
Freshly Spanked	Keagen's Spanking Memoir
The Training Blog of Mark	Making Time for Sex
A Complicated Kitten's Journey	A Painful Awakening
Quest Five	Tales of Spanking And Sex
Lu Through the Looking Glass	Cowgirl's Spanking Journey
The Cookie Jar	Jujubees' Journal
Cassie's Space	American Spanking Society
Her Secret Corner	Poppy's Submissions
This Cat is Crazy	The Spanking Writers
Journey to the Darkside	The Daily Toast
Supplicium Post Mortem	New Beginnings
Down the Rabbit Hole	A Freedom to Submit
Externally Motivated Wife	Florida Dom's Corner
Husbandly Touch	Ms. Cassandra Park
DazyGal's Desire	The Woody Back to School Unit
Masterful Strokes	Finding Sara
Hermione's Heart	My Bottom Smarts
New(ish) to Spanking	Daisychain
Not My Original Vows	Meow Learns about Life
Doonstar Two	Our Bottoms Burn

I hope you are able to visit these friends and say hello. Each blog has its own unique style and flavor. Whatever your spanking interest, I'm sure there are several you will find appealing.

I tried to find e-mail addresses for as many spanking-oriented bloggers as I could, but there were several that I couldn't reach. If you know anyone in our community who wasn't notified, please by all means invite them to join us. If you are among this group or if your invitation was trapped by a naughty spam filter, I sincerely hope that you will create your own Love Our Lurkers post!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Oct 11

2009-10-11T18:00:00.002-07:00

Our topic this week was the future of spanking. Here are your insightful reflections.

Our Bottoms Burn: We don't feel repressed at all. If someone does, we feel it is all in their minds rather than external. I have not noticed any condemnation of adult spanking by the media. It's been quite the opposite.

People need to accept themselves as they are. The enjoyment of spanking is widespread and I think it will continue to grow through thoughtful blogs like MBS.

To those that have yet to "come out" to other spanking enthusiasts, I strongly encourage you to delurk. I can almost guarantee you will start to like yourself better.

Florida Dom: I often call spanking the last taboo and I don't know why that is. One of those magazine TV shows recently had a woman who breastfeeds her kids until they're about six. But yet they never do a segment on why people like to spank and get spanked. Has even Oprah ever dealt with this? Or what about those wild shows like Maury and Springer? It's occasionally featured on HBO's Real Sex.

But even if it doesn' become mainstream, I think the Internet has allowed spankos to find each other and realize there are a lot more of us that people think. I don't know if that's the best we can hope for now.

When I was a teenager in the 1950s, I had no idea there were so many people like me. The good thing is that today's teenagers know that because of the cyber world. For now, I don't know if we can hope for much more.

S.N.M.: Repressed?

I don't think we're particularly repressed. Ours is just one of many common sexual fetishes. I think the only reason people are ashamed to talk about it is because society is ashamed of sexuality in general, and any permutations of the vanilla norm make it worse.

If everyone suddenly knew I was a spanko, I don't think my relationships with anyone would change (though they might occasionally make jokes). The only reason they don't know is because they don't ask, and they shouldn't. A person's sexuality is no one else's business.

Hermione: A century or so ago, women were prohibited from voting. Female medical students were ridiculed, harassed, and even expelled. Fifty years ago, blacks and whites would never have studied, travelled or eaten together. Not so long ago, gay marriage would have been unthinkable.

I think times are changing, and eventually spanking will become as commonplace and accepted as other forms of sexual activity. It's possible that more positive media attention could help in that acceptance. Maybe as the number of blogs grows, our presence might make an impact.

Spanking isn't new, nor is it unknown to many adults. I think our time will come.

Muffin: Mr. D says that the internet has already expanded the world's exposure to spanking, helping people to realize it's not such a weird quirk, and that it is more common than people thought. He recalls that it wasn't too many years ago that the only way you could find anything related to spanking was through magazines that were difficult to find, and expensive when you did.

That being said, we had an experience this week that fits this topic well. We decided, for spiritual and moral reasons (and Muffin's temporary bout of insanity) to "come out of the closet" to one of our church's leaders. I made the colossal error of telling him we were making bare-bottomed spanking videos. WHERE WAS MY BRAIN THAT DAY? It turns out he knew very little, if anything, about LDD, referring to it as "a bit of sadomasochism," (add posh British accent). We discovered that he was accepting of whatever we chose to enjoy in the privacy of our own bedroom, as long as we were mutually consensual. He was content for us to be participating in written forums on the internet, but he's not pleased with the videos. So moral righteousness steps in. But we're still content, spiritually, with what we've been doing, so I don't envision much of a change in our practices.

Do we think it will ever change? Maybe to a small extent, but I think that by having become so open to the concept myself, that I expect the rest of the world to just know that I'm a hard-wired spanko by looking at me. When our church friend was so stunned, I was shocked at his innocence! For me, I'd love to see the day I could wear a "Spank Me" tee-shirt in public! LOL

Meow: I think that there will always be people who look at you and see only how different you are, whether you're gay, goth, spanko, old, overweight, handicapped or just different in some identifiable or outspoken way. As soon as we "come out," they wonder how we could "do it" in some way different from how they "do it." I hope that in the future they will be an ever-shrinking minority and that the open-minded or indifferent will be the majority.

Ally: The only reason I became brave enough to clue in my husband that I was into spanking was because I kept seeing it mentioned in my magazines and seeing it joked about in TV shows. That made me realize that spanking was out there and talked about more than I realized. I hope that someday it will gain more mainstream acceptance, but I don't know how soon that will happen. As for me in my personal life, I wouldn't share it with anyone I know. I have a feeling people would be judgmental. I am content at this point to be a part of the blogger community and I am more than happy with the friendship and support here.

Lurvspanking: I wrote another short story called Exchanging Spanking Vows. It's copyright free and you can modify to fit your own situation. These vows demonstrate the vast gulf between the spanko and vanilla world.

I happen to agree with Bonnie. Spanking is viewed as dangerous and deviant [except of school children] and all about whips, chains and black leather. The other viewpoint is ridicule and contempt for the Christian Taken In Hand movement. “Those poor abused women”is the most common refrain when referring to women who submit to a husband's discipline.

I've never had a conversation about spanking with someone not in the scene.

Sara: I am not quite sure why spanking is seen as different, more 'out there'; than other sexual play. I guess it's because it can be mistaken for abuse? Maybe? But I agree with Hermione and a few others that it will be more accepted, and I really do think bloggers help move our society towards an awareness. I have had comments here and there from people who said they found my blog by mistake and were intrigued although perhaps not personally interested in spanking or DD. I do believe I might never have had the courage to explore had it not been for the blogs I read!

Spank-A-Lot: What does the future hold for spanking and spanking enthusiasts?

I may be wrong here, but I think spanking is fast gaining new popularity. In the bedroom, more and more couples are taking to spanking as a form of foreplay. Lifestyle-wise, I guess many many people are incorporating corporal punishment or domestic discipline into their relationships. Interestingly enough, its not just the "old folks" who are moving back "to the times long ago," but young couples are accepting and experimenting with spankings as their own form of "carrot and stick" motivation.

Can we gain anything approaching mainstream acceptance?

If it did, spanking probably wouldn't be the alternative lifestyle anymore. I feel there is nothing much to gain or lose, for me at least. Spanking relationships are largely personal and intimate. Sex is pretty mainstream, but friends don't discuss over dinner subjects like, "Oh, she sucked me real good last night" or "Yeah, he really went down on me." Even if spanking does go mainstream, it may not change things much.

Can vanilla society or at least a majority of people in it, come to understand that we are sensible, caring, productive citizens?

This may be tied into the discussion above. Despite what I said, one of the obvious benefits of spanking becoming mainstream would be fewer shifty or nasty looks when one realises that we are into spanking. However, to a certain extent, spankings in the media have also played a certain part in giving spankings a bad reputation. So proper publicity may help to change the popular perception towards spankos though sadly, none of us (I think) have enough influence to shape the media.

Do you think the media might play a role in delivering this message? Can bloggers help?

I think these two questions are linked. The right media coverage would indeed help shape the perception of all spankos and all things spanking for the better. Bloggers can also be of help, though it may depend upon the content of the blog.

Or will our community be better served by looking inward and supporting our own?

There has to be a good balance. On one hand, we must support those who have been ostracised or bullied just for being a spanko. At the same time, we should seek to educate vanillas that, apart from the fact that we enjoy either dishing out or receiving spankings, we are as human as anyone else.

Anon: It doesn't matter what society thinks. Intimacy in any form is a private concern. There is no oppression like self-imposed oppression. Never let other people define who you are, or how to live your life. Safe, sane, and consensual adult play isn't the business of anyone but the consenting adults.

R Humphries: Back in Edwardian London, ‘Houses of Flagellation’ were all the rage. In fact, the obituary of the most famous dominatrix, Theresa ‘Six of the Best’ Berkeley, was published in the London Times! Even when I was coming of age in London in the 1970’s ,I think people were much more open about sex in general. We even flirted in the work-place. It was all lighthearted titillation and we were far more likely to confess to our ‘kinks.’

Somewhere in the 80’s, political correctness became the vogue and society in general became more tight-lipped. I don’t think spankos are any more repressed than any other group considered to be outside the mainstream. Fortunately, we do have outlets to meet and communicate (this being a perfect example). As long as the lunatic fringes on the political extremes don’t feel the need to interfere, I think that we get along quite nicely.

Graham: While spanking is one of the more "mainstream" kinks out there, most people aren't interested in outing themselves or marching in spanko pride parades, For many of us, there could be potentially serious consequences if we were outed.

Obviously, we'd all be better off in a sex-positive culture, and no one should be afraid of losing their job or family because of their spanking fetish (and it shouldn't be classified as a psychological disease).

But with that said, part of what makes our fetish sexy is the fact that it's not mainstream. It's not vanilla. It's a little dangerous, taboo, and dare I say, naughty?! Maybe in a world of complete and total spanko acceptance, the fetish would lose some of its charge?

Handsdown: I had to snicker at the mention of moral righteousness considering the fact that most DD couples I know are very conservative Christians. I think the whole trouble for the spanking community lies in the fact that the use of corporal punishment in children is a hotly debated issue. Most vanilla’s don’t separate what the consenting adult community does from the corporal punishment of children – as homosexuality was once associated (incorrectly) with pedophilia.

Regardless of what the vanilla world says or does, I’ll still enjoy my spankings and I thank my maker that I have someone I love who will spank me with pleasure. I don’t have to go around with “I like to be spanked” or “Spankophile” embroidered on the backside of my jeans. I don‘t think many people are denied jobs or refused access because they are spankophiles. The association with BDSM doesn’t help us, of course, again because that type of thing is often associated with serial killers and rapists. As with spanking, BDSM practice has problems when some use it outside the realm of consenting adults.

And that, I think, is the bottom line.

Dave The Rave: I got spanked playfully many years ago and have since been spanked quite often.

Ironically, it seems to be acceptable for a mother or father to say they spanked their children or for people to remember having had that done to them. However, if I were to say, "I got spanked last night at a friends' house," they would give me a 'WTF!' look.

Someone didn't like a comment I made and then said to me, "I should SPANK you!" I calmly said, 'Whenever you think you are big enough, go ahead.' She gave me a shocked look and called me a freak. My reply was "Well, you said it first!"

If enough people explain that consensual spankings are a part of a loving relationship, whether as foreplay or a form of control, all should be fine. There are sites that sell chastity devices, but you never see them mentioned on the news. It's all about, "Perception is reality."

My advice is to spread the word and hope society accepts everyone as they are.

Bonnie: I don't know what the future holds. That's one reason I asked (it's also an interesting topic). Working against us are two seemingly opposite forces. Some very traditionally-minded people seem to frown on any sex that isn't missionary-style intercourse for the purpose of procreation. The idea of spanking as sexy foreplay is, in their view, a blatant and purposeful violation of divine law. They think we're dangerous, or maybe they just feel the need to condemn anyone who is different.

At the other end of the spectrum are people who are unable or unwilling to differentiate between consensual play and domestic violence. They are convinced that any woman who asks to be spanked or allows this to be done to her body must have been brainwashed by her abusive attacker. The violence against women groups have a legitimate cause and they do some great work in protecting women who are genuinely in peril. But I don't need or want any protection from Randy, no matter what he does to my bottom. This frame of mind is pervasive among police officers and social workers, and within the criminal justice system in the US. If cops are called by a third party to address a domestic disturbance, even if the cause was a completely consensual spanking, there's a decent change that someone is going to jail.

I have heard from numerous readers who worry about even posting a comment because they are afraid they could lose jobs, friends, or family members were their proclivities revealed. For anyone working in child care, education, counseling, patient care, or similar fields, this is a legitimate concern. How horrible would it be to have kids harassed in school because of their parents' sexual preferences?

I can't just say, “So what.” The status quo is not good enough.

I think the Gay/Lesbian experience is instructive. They too still have a ways to go, but they are much further down this road. The GLBT community gained respect in the media only after they started to shape the message. High profile people like Elton John, Ellen DeGeneres, and Barney Frank were courageous enough to come out and accept whatever consequences followed (they fared a lot better than Oscar Wilde or Alan Turing before them). Soon after, television and films began to present more objective and sympathetic portrayals of Gay and Lesbian characters. What eventually happened was that many fair-minded people said, “These people seem OK and maybe the Gay and Lesbian people I know aren't scary either.”

We could conceivably follow a similar path to acceptance. But there might be another alternative. The internet is a huge part of our lives in ways that would have been inconceivable twenty years ago. This medium isn't finished growing up. The democratization of media we've seen is likely to continue and expand. Perhaps small people can deliver a big message. If so, we bloggers have an important role to play both inside and outside our community. Our message is that spanking enthusiasts are sensible, caring, and productive citizens. We are no threat to anyone. All we seek is tolerance and the freedom to live our lives in peace.

If we believe in and share our vision, it could become reality.

Thanks to everyone who added their thoughts this week!

MBS Spanko Brunch #195

2009-10-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody, and welcome back! This week, we get the opportunity to gaze into the great beyond and ponder tomorrow's mysteries.

What do think the future holds for spanking and spanking enthusiasts? Can we gain anything approaching mainstream acceptance? Or will we be repressed by waves of political correctness or moral righteousness? Can vanilla society, or at least a majority of the people in it, come to understand that we are sensible, caring, productive citizens? Do you think media might play a role in delivering this message? Can bloggers help? Or will our community be better served by looking inward and supporting our own?

So, what do you think? To register your views, enter a comment below. Everyone with a relevant opinion is welcome to join in the discussion. You can even be anonymous if you prefer. Once we've all taken our turns, I will post an edited summary.

Potpourri III

2009-10-08T18:00:00.000-07:00

I have so much to share that I'll be lucky if I remember it all. A number of readers asked about my birthday celebration. I did get spanked, make that well spanked, but it didn't happen on my actual birthday. This wasn't Randy's most outlandish staging ever, but it was mind-blowing and original. I've started recording the tale, so there's a good chance I'll get around to finishing.

I'm disastrously behind on answering e-mail (again). If I owe you a message, I will get to it. Sorry about that.

We're planning something big for Tuesday. I don't want to say too much just yet, but please be sure to stop by if you can.

If you're a spanking blogger and you haven't received an e-mail from me very recently, please send me a note. I'd like to tell you about a fun opportunity.

I was very pleased by the response to my request for blog ideas. It's amusing that so many people said I should do an Ask Bonnie feature. That was the top suggestion when I asked the same question two years ago, and I did it! OK, so I guess I need to solicit questions and post answers more often. If you have questions for me, send them in. I won't promise to answer every question (like the doofus who wanted to know about my preferred feminine hygiene products) and I don't have all the answers, but I will give it my best.

Fortunately for the brunch crowd and unfortunately for Ask Bonnie, the best questions often get turned into brunch topics. If they are that good, we might as well discuss the answer together.

I love the idea of highlighting a post, or even an excerpt from a post on an emerging blog. There are so many good ones now. I can't begin to read them all, but I regularly stumble across some great writing. These bloggers deserve a lot more recognition and feedback than they get. If I can help with that, it's a win for everybody.

Jane asked for a drop-down box for Ask Bonnie articles. It was easy to do. There aren't many posts there, but it should grow with time. Then I thought about whether I should add more of these drop down boxes. I could have one for humor, one for poetry, one for the mailbag, one for Keyword Chaos, and so forth. Then I remembered what a huge unmanageable mess my template has become. This could get way out of hand really quickly.

I want to thank Hermione, Muffin, and Dr. Ken for offering to help with the blog. Hermione already provides invaluable assistance. She's my sensible sounding board, helps police my unruly blogroll, and shares her considerable technical expertise. As I've said often, this blog may have my name on it, but it's a collaborative work with dozens of creative contributors.

I remarked to Randy tonight at dinner that it's ironic how after starting a blog to share my writing, I spend so much time blogging that I don't get to write. Needless to say, I didn't anticipate this outcome.

I've been nominated several times to be an honest blogger. I will follow up on those invitations, but I'm not sure how many weird facts I can reveal that haven't already been mentioned over the past four years. Yes, my weirdness has limits!

I am still working on transcribing the audio tapes we recorded. There's so much great material, I just have to share. Look for that coming soon.

We've had several quality spanko blogs silently disappear in recent days. It feels like abruptly losing touch with friends. But plenty of new blogs are sprouting up to replace them. I'll spare you the singing of "The Circle of Life," but you get the idea. Watch for another installment of In with the New in the next week or two. If you have a new spanking-oriented blog, or want to start one, or know someone who knows someone who does, I encourage you to send me the link.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Oct 4

2009-10-05T18:00:00.002-07:00

Our topic was clever ways to ask for a spanking. Here are your thoughts.

Sara: There is the classic "Spank me" text message.

I have a friend who set up a sticker system on their fridge. Yellow means, “need increasing,” orange means, “spanking alert,” and red indicates, “meltdown imminent.”

I have emailed fun spanking postcards to my husband. Rosybottom offers some nice invitations.

I enjoy imagining him at work, opening an e-mail like that, and having to wait until he can get his hands on me! Anticipation is a very nice thing! ;)

Todd and Suzy: For Suzy, bratting is a common way, though I'm not sure how "creative" that is. Some of the more unique ways have been. These include a blog post (basically) asking for a spanking, an e-mail, and bringing home a new spanking implement. Usually, though, it's something really simple like positioning her bottom in a very spankable way or just coming right out and asking.

As for Todd, he likes to look for some sort of naughty misdeed that has been committed. Dishes aren't done (even though they're almost always done at night) and clothes stacked in the chair (they always are, LOL) are two good examples. Usually, though, it's just a matter of "come here" and then doing it.

Ronnie: I'm not sure whether this is particularly creative. I send him a picture of myself by e-mail with some naughty text added or I leave an implement out. When I know that he's due home, I dress up and position myself in a particular way.

Or I just plonk myself over his lap and tell him I need a spanking.

Hermione: If I need a proper spanking, I send Ron an email or even come right out and say so.

For some quick fun, I have a few options: guide his hands to the appropriate place, stop in front of him and bend over ever so slightly, slide my pants down to expose the target area, or hand him an implement and ask for his evaluation.

I want to thank Sara for posting the link to Rosybottom. That's a fun site that I hadn't visited before.

Prefectdt: It's been a long time since I've had a regular spanking partner, so it's time to dig deep into the memory for this one.

A light tap across the back of the head with the palm of the hand is sure to provoke a response. My favorite, though, is a letter of confession, written in the style of an eight year old, complete with misspellings and crossing outs. What you are confessing to is also a good indicator of how severe you want the spanking to be.

Tiggs: Oooh, Prefectdt sure hit on one that used to be a favorite of mine, the childlike confession letter. I still prefer e-mails when it comes to asking for a spanking, and when I think about it, being informed to expect one by e-mail is also quite a thrill, though in an entirely different way.

Dante's very creative when it comes to the actual spanking, way too creative for his own good sometimes. But as for requesting a spanking, well, I usually just bring him a toy or send him an e-mail asking if he's in the mood, or at least letting him know that I'm in the mood. Then nature takes its course. LOL

Lurvspanking: No rituals or hints are needed, just ask.

However, I did write a short story about a very creative way for a woman to ask her man for a spanking. I hope you enjoy this story.

Meg: Our cues are mostly wordless, and I usually initiate things. Sometimes, I get the paddle and leave it on his desk, on the bathroom vanity, on the couch, or on the bed. On other occasions, I walk up and hand it to him as I give him a look of pseudo-contriteness out of the tops of my eyes (I'm only 5'2" and he's a foot taller). I'm usually dressed in a short skirt and high heels, so I flip the skirt up, bend over and grab my ankles. I know that his adrenalin level is then as high as mine. Occasionally, I snuggle up to him for some vanilla stuff, then flop over his lap for a warm-up before we get to work with the board of education.

Daisy: ASK HIM? No WAY!

That spoils the "shock" of it for me. I have to "deserve" it, by misbehaving in some way. However, Dante's vouchers from last year are ready and waiting to be left about accidentally when he gets here.

Cowgirl: I need to "deserve it" also. I will not just ask. What's the fun in that? I'll "misbehave" in some fashion that I know will get me spanked. Then I try to fight Chase off and get away when he's coming after me. LOL Chase enjoys a bit of a fight and I like fighting back, so it works.

Handsdown: I must say that if I have to resort to just asking for it in plain English, it does take some of the fun out of it. So, how to get a spanking without using your words? Let’s see, I send e-mail links to my favorite spankings on Spanking Tube to get the juices flowing. I put “ha, ha” sticky notes on the things around the house I didn’t do that I was supposed to do. Since my man is OCD, I rearrange his perfectly organized shoes in the closet, I find that hilarious, actually. I put my thong in his underwear drawer. I remind him that I still didn’t make him his favorite cookies, and I leave the cookie press he bought me two years ago out on the counter. I hand scrub floors wearing only a thong. I put a whoopee cushion on his chair at the dinner table. I mimic his accent. And if all that still doesn’t do the trick, I wiggle my bare butt right in his face. Of course, all that only goes down when the kids are out of the house. LOL That’s our biggest challenge.

Imintril: I do wish there were ways I could "misbehave" and get a spanking. However, I usually have to come out and ask. No amount of bottom wriggling gets noticed. Even permission and requests that I be given spankings at random intervals, go unheeded. I like some of the ideas above for how to ask. It's always been a difficult prospect to ask for a spanking face-to-face. I want to feel some sort of inevitability about it, and that won't happen when asking that way. Perhaps an e-mail, or one of those spanking cards, earlier during the day will allow me to build up that sense of inevitability before my wife gets home. And then, mmmm, the feel of hand to rear.

Dr. Ken: I'm always more than happy to dish out a spanking, so it really doesn't take much. If it's a "good girl" spanking, just ask me or say, "I need a spanking." If you feel the need to do something to deserve it, just sticking out your tongue at me will do the trick!

Betina: I have been creative on a few occasions. Here some of my best.

In December one year, I sent him a letter from "Santa" (stamp and all) informing him that his wife had ended up on the naughty list and that the jolly fellow himself was to busy to take care of matters. In the letter were also a few hints about how to best deal with a naughty wife. Along with that, I put a new paddle in his stocking with a tag saying "handcrafted by elves."

Another was when he got a pair of new slippers for his birthday. I copied the product description and made a new one that said, "Dear customer, congratulations on your new purchase. These slippers are a quality product of which we are very proud. They are made from quality materials and have a very comfortable and flexible sole. Used properly, we guarantee that they will efficiently warm your feet, as well as your naughty wife’s bottom, for many years ahead. (namebrand) customer service.”

If roleplay is an option, I once sent a confirmation letter from a maid service and showed up late at the door in full french maid outfit. Let's just say that I didn't do that good a job and paid the price.

Have fun. It worked for me!

LU: For me, I guess I have never technically asked for it, according to RU anyway, who is right next to me. I did surprise him once. When he walked in the door, I was bent over the kitchen table in a t-shirt, and some thigh-high socks with the implements on the table next to me. If that is not asking for it, I really don't know what is. Since we are a long distance couple, there is not much chance of asking for it. I know it is coming. LOL. My bottom is a bit sore at the moment as a matter of fact.

Ms. Betty: little bunny and I have comedy night. I don't like puns. I consider most of them criminal, and some of them nearly capital.

At the same time, bunny wanted a way to playfully get "in trouble" (or danger, as we say to distinguish between play and discipline). He feels bratting is disrespectful, so he didn't want to do that. But he wanted a "safe" way to signal that his tail needed some attention.

So we came up with comedy night. When he's feeling playful he'll post a string of really bad jokes or spring one on me during a conversation.

I reward these little bits of wit with what I call "the sound of one hand clapping," which, oddly enough, sounds exactly like a ping pong paddle striking bare skin.

littleone: I am not sure I would call it "creative,"
but when the world becomes too much, when my stress levels hit boiling point, then my Sir knows the best way to right me, to plant my feet firmly on the ground, and to settle me down. He whoops my ass, and then holds me and cuddles me and lets me cry it all out.

Beki: At our house, if I want a spanking, I will hang a dish towel from the handle of the upper cabinets in our kitchen. Once I thoughtlessly looped a hand towel through the handle of a drawer. Apparently that was close enough.

Padme: Master Anakin has left his belt out on our nightstand as a way to let me know he wants to spank me or motivate me to get something done. I usually come out and tell him when I need a spanking. I have written him blog posts about it or twittered him about it letting him know or sometimes just sent an e-mail. I've also come right out and told him that I needed it and I have gotten very good about that through the years.

There have been times when I have gotten the toys out, laid them out for him, bent my bottom over the bed, and begged him for a spanking. That works too! :)

Jean Marie: First, my boyfriend is very private, so posting here on Sundays is one way of my asking for a spanking.

Second, as I imagine others share, when I wear the schoolgirl outfit, I'm sure to get a caning, and my cheerleader's outfit always gets me a paddling.

Probably my most creative "request" was years ago when I was trying to overcome my shyness and make it as an actress in L.A. I borrowed my boyfriend's sports car, returned it without a scratch, but tearfully told him that I'd totaled it. When he ascertained that I was uninjured by whiplash, only feeling huge guilt, he spanked me for what he thought was a sound lesson. As he stood me back up, I told him that I'd made the whole thing. His jaw dropped, and I got a really sound, inspired leathering with his belt. It was one of my most memorable experiences over the knee.

Sarah Jane: My favorite is the time I waited, panties down and skirt up, bent over the edge of the couch with a strap laid next to me, for my then-partner to get home from work. My request was unmistakable!

Muffin: I don't have to ask. Mr. D is always on the lookout for a good excuse to spank me, even if the reason is, "Because it was there," meaning my backside. I have been known to bend over in front of him, or to pull down my pants, or to go over his knee. It doesn't take much provocation. He's ALWAYS willing to stop what he's doing to spank my bottom!

Kathy: I used the survey that was here a few weeks ago to tell my partner that I thought this was something we needed to add. It seems that it worked because he wants to discuss the answers I gave.

Throck: I agree with Daisychain and Handsdown that asking negates some of the shock experience that is wonderful in spanking. I like to feel like a naughty boy, caught off guard, and I don't like to ask. However, my wife, C, is rather vanilla and needs encouragement. I have sent her some blog posts and that worked very nicely once. I thought about a "naughty book" where I could record misdeeds and have it reviewed by C periodically, and get appropriately spanked. But I got mixed reviews on that idea from other spanking aficionados. There are some great ideas here that I will have to try. I especially liked Perfectdt's idea.

Anon: Because I'm in a fairly new relationship and we're still exploring what works and doesn't work for us (with spanking as well as every other aspect of a relationship), I'm still at the stage where I'll ask or suggest. I'm hoping that I can use some of these ideas in the future though, so thanks for the advice!

Bonnie: Much as Muffin described, I don't have to work very hard to ask. In fact, sometimes Randy thinks I am asking when I hadn't even considered the idea. Wearing pretty much any light-colored and snug-fitting slacks, shorts, skirt, or dress will invite his attention. In fact, just being nude works remarkably well.

When I want to ask, we have lots of signals. Setting out an implement sends the message. So does bending over in front of him. Wearing thong-style underwear is another classic. Sometimes, after a spanking, I will rub my sore bottom and say something like, “I love how that feels.” That line usually earns me a second helping.

With that said, I still occasionally bring him a paddle. There's something to be said for being clear and direct.

Thanks to everyone who contributed. I hope to see you all next week.

MBS Spanko Brunch #194

2009-10-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to our weekly gathering. We have a fun topic courtesy of our friend, Handsdown.

Have you or your partner discovered any creative ways to ask for a spanking? If so, please share them with us!

Participating in brunch is very easy and everyone is welcome. All you have to do is enter a comment below and share your thoughts. Once everyone has had an opportunity to speak, I will post an edited summary of our discussion.

My Turn

2009-09-29T18:00:00.005-07:00

I am pleased and gratified that so many friends took the time to weigh in on the future of MBS. I hear what you're telling me and I expect I will adopt many of your suggestions.

I've dispensed with the normal summary this week in favor of a more point by point response. For the sake of brevity, I tried to omit all but the first mention of each idea.

S.N.M.: I think a blog can indeed provide quality content indefinitely. The best way to do this is to mix things up and avoid stagnation.

I agree and that's why I asked for suggestions.

S.N.M.: If you've exhausted your ideas for Sunday brunch, start a new weekly series of some kind.

Actually, I have a couple of months of brunch topics in the hopper. A lot of those good ideas came from readers. The weekly brunch, In with the New, Bonnie's Mailbag, and Keyword Chaos are four features I definitely plan to keep.

S.N.M.: Maybe writing prompts for stories? Guest-of-the-week? Spanko news columns? More of your hilarious short stories and faux-advertisements?

I like guest posts, but they sometimes pose a problem. I try to explain my expectations in advance. Even so, once in a while, I receive a story that simply doesn't fit with the tone of MBS. At that point, my choices are to run something readers might not enjoy or tell the author that I reject their story. Needless to say, I don't care for either option.

I think the news angle is well covered elsewhere. Part of my dilemma is that I would rather not borrow another blogger's formula unless I can improve it in some significant way. I would love to produce more stories and humor posts. The trouble is, of course, finding the quiet time to write.

Curtis: I'd be happy if you didn't change a thing, provided you're still enjoying.

Thank you, Curtis. My level of enjoyment varies from day to day. At this point, I like blogging better than not blogging, so onward we go.

Hermione: My first reaction to your question was yes, find more time to write.

It's not that I am spending less time on the blog than in past years. If anything, I probably invest more. The difference is that where I might have been writing stories in the past, I am now answering e-mail, updating the blogroll, or visiting blogs and forums.

Hermione: MBS is famous for its brunches. They are a popular weekly feature, judging from the number of responses you get each week. I would hope they continue for a long time.

I am not considering abandoning our brunches.

Hermione: Your blog has always had the distinction of being unique. Rather than adopt ideas that other bloggers are already using, I hope MBS will continue to be a bit different...

That is my hope as well.

Hermione: If you ever need a partner in crime, you can count on me, and I wouldn't need a passport for cross-border blogging.

You're definitely on my short list! I truly appreciate all the help you provide today.

Hermione: I know you get a large amount of mail from readers. Why not a spinoff from the Bonnie's Mailbag feature called Ask Bonnie, in which you print a reader's question and then supply the answer, suggestion or reply?

Believe it or not, I actually have that feature. It doesn't run as often as the mailbag, but it does exist.

Hermione: As for a topic that you haven't covered, what about how spanking changes as couples age? It probably isn't the same for a couple in their 20s as it is for one in their 30s, 40s, 50s or 60s. There's a five-part series for you.

That's a great idea. I like it. Thanks.

Sara: I suspect people would use and appreciate a place where they could ask and get answers, and read the answers to questions already asked and posted.

As I say, I do have an Ask Bonnie segment, but I haven't solicited questions in a long time.

Sara: I like your personal accounts the best, but I assume you write those as often as the spirit moves you.

Me too, Sara. But as you say, I cannot summon the muse on command. There will be more spanking accounts, but I cannot tell you just when.

Muffin: I'd be happy to contribute in any way I can, in lieu of starting my own blog anytime soon.

Let's discuss that possibility. I think you are an excellent writer.

LS: The only question that matters is are you happy? Yes MBS is the #1 site to meet and greet but what does Bonnie the woman want not Bonnie the blogging Spanko Queen.

Quite honestly, what I want changes based upon the events of the day. For now, I believe I am happier blogging than not blogging. Every time I consider moving on, I experience a feeling of loss. Someday I will give up blogging, but I'm not ready yet.

LS: Highlighting your favorite posts from other bloggers would be a simple addition...

It's an excellent feature, but I doubt I could do it better than Chross already does.

Handsdown: It's your commitment to the non-commercial Spanko life that makes this a very fine place on the net.

There won't be any advertisements as long as I run this blog.

Handsdown: I would enjoy a spanking tales corner where we can all share our favorite spanking experiences.

That's a fascinating idea, but it would require a certain amount of structure to make it work well. Thanks!

Handsdown: I think a spanking recipe addition would be amusing. Recipes to get you a great spanking or a dinner that is guaranteed to get you off the hook--or out from under--as it were. LOL

There have been a few spanko bloggers who shared recipes. I certainly have some, but cooking (at least the conventional variety) seems off-topic to me.

Handsdown: How about a "try this implement" feature?

We've done Implement Stories a few times (with good response) and I plan to revive that feature at some point.

Handsdown: At any rate, please keep it Spanko.

That's the challenge, isn't it?

Anon #1: The moment you don't derive pleasure (not talking the occasional funk but when it becomes a chore) from My Bottom Smarts, Quit.

Thanks, Anon #1, for your thoughts. Had I followed that advice, I'd have bailed early on. There are times when I can't bear to look at the blog and others when I feel driven to do whatever I can to make it better. It is a whole lot of work. Most of the time, it feels as though it's worthwhile. That's why I'm still here.

Anon #1: Get that fella you live with to write on a regular basis...

I don't think that is going to happen. I've extended the invitation. Randy participates when and how he chooses.

Anon #1: Invite reader submissions - in the style of MBS to keep the tone consistent and publish the best of them.

There's the rub. After a dedicated reader and friend spends hours crafting a story for MBS, it kills me to have to tell them that their tone is wrong or that their work is simply not good enough. It seems unfair and arbitrary. On the other hand, I don't want to publish a story that many MBS readers will find objectionable.

Abby: [MBS] was the first I found that celebrated spanking amongst the rest of us. I have a feeling you inspired many a blogger by creating a space where we all feel comfortable sharing our thoughts and experiences without fear of mockery or reproach.

That's pretty much the charter of this blog.

Abby: As Niki Flynn has just proved, remaining in this world is not eternal for all of us, no matter how well-written, well-loved, or well-spanked he or she is.

I agree there will come a day for all of us when other priorities will prevail.

Abby: I've told Mr. W any number of times that I was done with my own blog. I was wrong each time, but the point is, life was drawing me in another direction.

I've said those words myself, but I always gravitated back to blogging.

Abby: I'm not sure about opening up posts to others consistently - you'll have a lot to read and consider, and that alone could be another site, or really, another career. You also have a certain tone that I wouldn't want to see changed. For example, much as I'd love to see some of my own writing on your site, I'm delving into some darker areas of myself now, and that belongs on my own site, not one that is meant for everyone in the spanking community.

You've captured well the dilemma of guest contributions.

Mary: You have a niche that no one else fills.

Thank you. That might be the nicest compliment of all.

Prefectdt: The time pressure and inspiration for new ideas are always the hard parts of keeping a blog going and personal life changes means that a blog must change to fit in with its owners lifestyle or it will become too much pressure and fail. In short a blog must evolve over time, to fit in with the owners life.

Well said!

Prefectdt: Many of the newer bloggers are getting lost in the crowd (the blog roll here shows how many blogs there are now), and I see some with interesting content but stat counters that that show a very low hit rate. I wonder how long many of them will keep going whilst talking to the internet ether. How about inviting guest posts from bloggers who are still in their first six months of blogging.

You've hit upon a great point. I just noticed today that a great young blog (The Torture Room) has disappeared. Had more people visited and commented, I wonder whether Anna might still be around. Rather than solicit guest posts, it might be easier and better if I asked permission to republish all or part of an existing post. We did this recently with RU and LU and that post received a strong reception.

Loki: I like the blog as is. I say keep going.

Thank you!

Daisy: I loved your accounts of spankings. Randy is quite a creative spanker! Bring back those!

Those accounts are often time-consuming to write and I have to be in the right frame of mind. As I said above, there will be more, but I cannot set a timetable.

Daisy: It would be wonderful to get a "side by side" account of a spanking...both you and Randy writing about the same spanking, from your own points of view, showing how male and female feelings differ at each section of the spanking!

For the time being, I can provide only one side. I am working on transcribing some recordings I made during spankings. That should provide a little different perspective.

Daisy: Please stay! Don't go into retirement. Yours is always the voice of reason, of sense and wisdom and reassurance. We need you! And, we love you. Blog world wouldn't be the same without our Bon!

I appreciate your confidence, affection, and support. I plan to continue blogging as long as it remains practical to do so.

Tiggs: You need to follow your own heart and mind and thoughts and feelings... that's the soundest and longest lasting advice you've given to countless other folks out here, and to do anything less would be absolutely wrong (and blogger suicide).

I do say that, don't I? (smile) I view MBS as a blog I publish, but one that belongs to the whole community. I need to feel good about what I'm doing, but at the same time, I also want others to embrace the message and participate actively. While I could act on my own, the spirit of the blog mandates that I consider readers as well.

Tiggs: You will know without question when it is time to stop.

I sure hope so.

Spanky: I love your blog just the way it is overall.

Thank you!

Thomas: I think that a blogger can continue indefinitely with a single topic, though they may have to occasionally think outside of the box to find a fresh idea. However, don't make changes just to keep things different. Only make changes that make you are confident in and will enjoy. My temporary change to fantasy football instead of spanking fantasies has been a good one for me. If you feel that a change will be good for you, even if just for a brief period, then give it a shot.

I appreciate your wise counsel. Even after four years, I sometimes don't know how a new feature will be received until I post it. I tend to try a lot of ideas and then stick with the ones that seem to work. The challenge is to keep generating those new concepts while remaining true to the spirit of the blog.

LU: There have been many great suggestions given above, but, as a writer myself, I know you will not be happy unless you follow your heart and take this in the direction that will still spark your creativity and desire to write it.

Yes, that's very true. Thanks.

Anon VII: I'll echo the often-expressed sentiment that MBS is great, and that you should change nothing about its basic format.

I have no intention of changing the general format, the central topic, the tone, or the target readership. The features, however, may be subject to renovation.

Anon VII: I like the idea of guest writers, with the understanding that you will screen everything first and, if you've time, get back to anyone whose effort you turn down with a brief explanation of what, in your opinion, is wrong. You might want to set up a few ground rules first.

I want MBS to be as inclusive as possible. I would rather forgo guest posts than have to tell a loyal reader that I won't post their story because it doesn't match my preferences.

A. Lurker: I have noticed that your blog has evolved over the years without sacrificing quality. Don’t worry about “indefinitely.” For now and in the foreseeable future you are doing just fine.

Thanks!

A. Lurker: I like Hermione’s suggestion about how spanking changes as you age. A corollary could be an ongoing feature about how to handle various obstacles to spanking such as young children waking up, older teens who pop in and out at any hour, bad backs, hormones, etc.

Yes, I think if we followed up on Hermione's suggestion, all of those scenarios would have to be considered.

A. Lurker: Lately I have also enjoyed your Potpourri features where you cover a few different topics in one post.

Yes, we'll do that again. Sometimes, I have a lot of small topics, none of which merit a separate post.

A. Lurker: When you do throw in the towel, please leave MBS up and public so that we can all come back here to find info, links, and ideas.

That is certainly my plan.

Radha: I really like the things you have already done with your blog. I especially like the way you feature new bloggers on a regular basis. You are such a valuable part of this community and so welcoming and most importantly, a leader in such positive ways. For me, that is enough especially if you are lacking time to do more.

Thank you. I enjoy discovering and sharing new blogs. I will definitely keep In with the New.

Jane: I'd love an Ask Bonnie feature. Maybe it could be the starting topic for some Sunday Brunches.

Believe it or not, I've published six Ask Bonnie posts. But we could certainly have more.

Katia: I have enjoyed reading the Sunday Brunch question and responses, even when I don't respond. I think, "Ask Bonnie" is a great idea.

Thanks, Katia!

Anon #2: I enjoy your personal accounts. I know they're time consuming to write, but I'd imagine you're still receiving lots of "inspiration" so maybe you could try for a brunch and a few personal accounts each month if you feel you have time for only that.

“Inspiration” isn't the issue. Those accounts are best written when the critical events are fresh in my mind (and perhaps elsewhere as well!). The trouble is that when Randy and I are spending time together, the last thing I want to do is crawl off into the computer.

Anon #3: You might consider partnering with someone you trust to take some of the routine maintenance off your hands.

Actually, I already do to some degree.

Anon #3: You have set the tone for the blog and you must make sure that tone doesn't drift off the mark.

I agree, but it's not easy to deliver quality topical content on a regular basis.

Anon #4: Show us more of your personality.

This is pretty much the real me. I don't often show my grumpy side, and I think that's probably for the best. I also don't talk much about my vanilla interests, but I have mentioned, for example, that I am a theater enthusiast. I think most readers come here for the spanking-related content and that's what I strive to supply.

Anon #5: You should do in the future what is right for you and Randy, but what you have done here is really special.

I'm pleased that my blog has been beneficial for you. I enjoy being able to help people.

Thanks, everybody, for sharing your wonderful ideas! I plan to adopt several in the near future.

MBS Spanko Brunch #193

2009-09-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

Thank you to everyone who send their blogaversary wishes. Your steadfast support, both public and private, makes me smile and inspires me to continue. That brings us to our topic this week.

Milestones in life provide us with an opportunity to ponder the scenery that has passed and wonder about the road ahead. After four years of blogging, I've quite frankly used most of my best ideas (and some of them, multiple times). So in my quest to blog on, I find myself turning to that most reliable of sources: You, my faithful readers!

Can My Bottom Smarts, or any single topic blog, continue to deliver quality content indefinitely? Should I broaden the subjects covered, invite more guest posts, highlight favorite posts from other blogs, or just somehow find more time to write?

Am I missing a great topic that I should have covered a long time ago? Or is there an old topic I could improve?

Should I take on a partner in hopes of adding a new spark to this old blog? Is it perhaps time for MBS to morph into something else? These are the questions I think about while lying awake in bed late at night. I'd love to hear your thoughts. I always appreciate kind words, but your straight talk is probably more valuable right now.

I hope you'll leave me a comment and share your ideas. I won't necessarily post a summary this time. I just want to hear what you think.

Four Years and (Still) Counting

2009-09-24T06:00:00.003-07:00

Four years? Yeah, it seems pretty amazing to me too.

This blog began as a place to publish the spanking accounts and fiction I had accumulated over the years. I loved the idea of making my writing available to others who share this interest, but I wondered whether anyone would actually read it. I figured that I would run out of material within a few months and probably move on to another project. As you see, it didn't work out quite that way.

To celebrate the occasion, I selected a number of posts that provide a sampler of My Bottom Smarts. These articles aren't necessarily the best or the most popular. These are favorites of mine, either because I think they are good or because they capture the spirit of the blog.

I deliberately omitted regular features like In with the New, Keyword Chaos, the brunches, and Bonnie's Mailbag. These are familiar to most readers and I don't think any individual post is particularly classic.

So, here for your reading pleasure, is a four year retrospective of My Bottom Smarts.

Halloween Heatwave

Our Very First Spanking

Spanking Limericks

Story: The Sphere

Your Spanko Horoscope

Welcome to Swatter's Retreat

V-Day and Time for Play

The Female Bottom: An Owners' Manual

The Saga of the White Shorts

Spanking Etiquette

Love This Photo

More Paddle Slogans

Top Ten: Things I Would Tell Vanillas

The Bikini Incident

Shower Power

MBS Labs: Envisioning Future Spanko Technology

A Tuesday Night Rant

Play: The Spanking Booth

Romantic Spanking Month

Video: Secretary

In Praise of Dangerous Curves

The Note

Rambling with Randy

Upon such occasions, I feel that it's only appropriate to acknowledge everyone who has helped me along this journey. Whether you're a regular commenter, an occasional lurker, or anyone in between, you are important to me. It's your presence that makes this endeavor worthwhile.

I hope I have informed, amused, and intrigued you. I hope you now feel more comfortable with the concept (and reality!) of recreational spanking. I say this because you have done so much for me.

Thank you for four years of support and encouragement!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch For Sep 20

2009-09-20T18:00:00.002-07:00

Our topic this week was birthday spankings. Here are your thoughts.

Ally: My birthday is in a few days so I am looking forward to my very first birthday spanking! I'll let you know how it goes...

Mick: For my birthday, I think I'm going to give Lynda a spanking. :)

Pammie: I remember receiving birthday spankings from my father when I was kid – under 12 years old, of course. This year was the first year since then that I got a birthday spanking. We didn't have any ritual, but it was a multi-dimensional experience – a little OTK with his hand, a little paddling, and my first experience with the cane. What fun. I think it's a great birthday tradition!

Todd and Suzy: We've enjoyed birthday spankings since we first got together, with Suzy talking both hers and mine. The "naughty" years get a little extra hard swat (terrible 2s, "sweet" 16, and so on). There's always one to "grow on" too. Last year, we were spending the weekend with some spanko friends on Suzy's birthday, so there were lots of birthday spankings. It was a lot of fun. We have always kept birthday spankings playful and pretty similar to how "vanillas" might do it.

Speaking of vanilla birthday spankings, we've both been around quite a few. It hasn't happened in a long time now though. We really weren't fully in touch with being spankos back then. Maybe it's not politically correct anymore. I know when we were kids, a teacher wouldn't blink about giving a "birthday spanking." Now, they have to think twice before touching a kid's shoulder. It's a different world.

Spanky: Kallisto always insists on receiving a birthday spanking! I think last year I administered it with our large wooden paddle, but I am not sure. Turn about is not fair play in our case, as she knows better than to try and spank me on my birthday.

Anon: I got a birthday spanking in school one time. It was in kindergarten. The teacher had a special heart shaped pillow that had some birthday wish on it (I can't remember what it said because it has been nearly 15 years since I was in kindergarten!). If the birthday child wanted, he or she would lay across the teachers lap and she would very gently pat the child's (fully clothed, obviously) behind five or six times depending on the age. Then we got cupcakes. I'm sort of surprised it was okay in a public school in the mid-nineties, now that I think about it.

Indy: I had my first birthday spanking (that I remember, anyway) last year, when I turned 43. I remember that I got a particularly hard swat on 21, and for balance, of course, on 22 as well. I remember thinking, “OMG, we're barely halfway there and I'm feeling old for the first time since I turned 30.” The other thing I noticed was that, in addition to the one to grow on, there was one added for luck. I think that's a devious spanko ploy, as I'd never heard of that before!

This year, a blogger I like quite a bit was looking for volunteers to take a birthday spanking in her honor. We share the same birthday, and she is literally half my age, so I graciously volunteered to take hers instead of mine.

Predictably, I ended up taking hers in addition to mine. Twice, as I recall...

Hermione: We don't do birthday spankings. I always ask for one, but somehow that request falls on deaf ears. Maybe someday!

LU: Here's kind of funny story. My birthday this year was what actually gave me the courage to out myself as a spanko to Ru. We kept kidding around about a birthday spanking and he told me I would get a one. Well, it did not really turn out the way I was hoping, but it certainly opened the door for me. He ended up giving me a few swats in the morning, a few on our picnic, I think, and a few more later that night. They were very light and playful and did come close to my age. But hey, like I said, it paved the way for me and we both had a lot of fun teasing each other. Next year, I am sure it will get a good one!

Lurvspanking: In our house, birthday spankings are given with great pleasure and returned with even greater pleasure. I face a high number with the paddle next month and I can't wait.

I wrote a story called Time for Your Birthday Spanking. I hope everyone enjoys it.

I can't recall witnessing any birthday spankings in person, at least in recent decades.

Complicated Kitten: My Master's birthday is only a few weeks away! I certainly hope he thinks about warming my bottom to celebrate ;-)

Our Bottoms Burn: Every year Becall and I bend the other over for birthday swats. It's a fun tradition.

Thomas: Since I use just about any reason to initiate a spanking, it's only natural that birthday spankings are on the menu. Giving someone else my birthday spanking is actually one of the only things that I ever do to celebrate my own birthday.

I remember some birthday spankings given back in first grade, I think.(It was a private school, not public). I think that I remember a few others spread around the years, but none were particularly memorable. However, if I knew it was a cute vanilla girl's birthday, I'd happily offer to give her a "birthday spanking" just for the chance to swat her bottom.

Jean Marie: Birthday spankings are the only joy in my getting older. The one I received last year made turning 30 bearable, though I couldn't sit afterward (so we found a better position).

A former boyfriend was a strip-o-gram stripper,. He said that numerous vanilla girls asked him to spank them after his performance. He claimed that he never took advantage. I've never seen a vanilla birthday spanking administered. So I don't know whether if it would turn me on as much as I imagine.

Muffin: This topic got us to thinking. It's been a long time since we've done birthday spankings, because we went ”vanilla” for a long period of time, if you can imagine that! We both were dealing with some health problems. But our birthdays aren't until the spring. It'll be March before we need a birthday spanking. I guess we could be outrageous and do an anniversary spanking next month, but it's still only seven years, so that wouldn't be much of a spanking. I guess we'll just have to wait for the spring, and then he can "LAY IT ON ME!" as Niko says on Spankingtube videos.

Abby: My second grade teacher (let's see, that would have been the 1985-1986 school year) used to give birthday spankings, but I can't remember if I actually was on the receiving end of one or if I just thought about it a lot. I wonder if my spanking fetish is actually because I was programmed early on to think that after a spanking, the whole class would have cupcakes?

Sadly, if all the readers and writers in the spankosphere had been hoping for the resulting cupcakes on my birthdays recently, they would have gone hungry. I always have some debaucherous dinner on my birthday, and since the cane would be the preferred implement for both myself and Mr. W, we just can't do both. If you've ever been firmly spanked on a full stomach, you'll probably understand.

Prefectdt: I have never had a real birthday spanking :( It is one of my biggest ambitions, to receive a real birthday spanking, from an amateur enthusiast, actually on my birthday.

Loki: I give my new wife (as of Aug 18th!) birthday spankings as much as I can. One of the best occurred while we were still living with her mother. I was inspired by a Futurama spankfic and recreated the birthday spanking in it. I gave my wife a few swats with each of my spanking toys up to her age plus one!

I did the same last year and it was even better because that was the first time in our new home! Now I have to come up with a grand one for this year. It's going to be a special year for her. A milestone in her age and she is so proud of herself.

As for me, well, I do get them too. Hopefully I will have a few new toys for her to use on me. My birthday is not too far off. It's October 8th to be exact!

Tiggs: We usually do the birthday spanking thing, with me receiving mine, Dante's and anyone else's that we find out about,. LOL That's just me, always willing to give of myself freely, lol, taking spanks for anyone, anytime.

As with anything Dante does, there is never a set routine, time, rhyme or reason, and the spankings are always memorable!

BTW, Prefectdt, I would LOVE to give you that birthday spanking! I sure wish we lived closer!

Ronnie: We definitely celebrate birthday spankings in our house. Every year is different. It depends where we are. The best one I can remember was when P spanked me with roses.

R Humphries: Despite Britain's spanking fixation, the tradition of birthday spankings did not exist until the early 1980's (at least not to my knowledge). However, it was catapulted into the headlines of the British press, who like these kind of things, when a certain member of the Royal Family visited the famous London spanking restaurant, 'School Dinners', to celebrate his birthday. Prince A. was hauled on stage and publicly spanked with a slipper to the delight of the Great Unwashed.

Of course, I immediately got in on the act and have embraced the tradition ever since. Needless to say, my beloved Jojo stands in for me on my birthday, which suits us both fine. So thanks to the US of A for introducing me to this glorious tradition.

Betina: This year, I got a spanking for my 34th birthday, but I'm not that lucky every year. Actually, I got it a few days after my birthday as the kids were home that day. He decided on a 34 hand spank warm up followed by 34+1 with a dog leg brush. Judging by the heat of my seat, I must have been "just a tad" naughty this year. I still loved it though. A few times, I've even been lucky enough to receive his spanking too. I love the tradition! As it is not a custom where I come from, I have never witnessed it.

A. Lurker: This is my first time responding to your brunch, but I couldn't resist. My husband and I both have our birthday on the same day. We are both over fifty and I am always the spankee. You do the math!

Welcome to you!

Bonnie: Thank you to everyone who offered birthday wishes.

Randy and I love birthday spanking rituals. We enjoy the traditional one swat per year of age, plus one to grow on. I take the spanking for his birthday as well.

As I have chronicled, Randy loves to concoct exotic scenarios for my annual birthday spankings. In our younger years, these spankings could be quite intense. In the last couple of years, though, Randy has moved toward a slightly more sensual approach. Either way, he usually manages to surprise and delight me.

Thanks to everyone who joined us for brunch. I hope to see you again next week.

MBS Spanko Brunch #192

2009-09-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

Once in a while, it's fun to revive a favorite topic. Given the proximity of my birthday, this one seemed like a natural.

There is one spanking ritual that is very familiar even in the vanilla world. It is, of course, the birthday spanking. That is our topic for this week's discussion.

Do you and your partner engage in birthday spankings? If so, how and when are these spankings administered?

Have you been present when presumably vanilla friends initiated birthday spankings? As a spanko, how did you react?

If you would like to submit a contribution to our brunch discussion, please leave a comment below. Once everyone has provided their thoughts, I will publish a summary of our conversation.