My Bytch Blog

Dilemma-ethical-uh?

2018-06-13T14:27:00.002-07:00

If you google the word dilemma it comes up with the following definition:

"A situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives, especially equally undesirable ones."

Then goes on to give synonyms like quandary, predicament and vicious circle.

*Sigh*

Well, wonders never cease in my world and for the sake of my sanity I hope my five whole readers understand what I am about to spill.

Everyone has someone in their family that does not sit right with them (I'm trying to be ambiguous here for a reason). I am no different. I have no real family anymore. Since my father died almost two months ago, I have NO family anymore. Sure, I have a sibling, who is a complete and utter moron. This person is a run away from responsibility, self-centered individual who I have tried to help throughout the years. The other person is a selfish, self-centered, manipulative, gas bag who thinks the world revolves around them and goes out the their way to get what they want at any expense. After avoiding these two gems for over 10 years, I had finally reach out when my father passed.

His death has been a low point in my emotional life.

Now, let me preface this story with the fact that I did not walk away from these two for fun or without great personal, financial and emotional expense to myself. I walked away from these two to preserve my sanity, and not turn to the dark side of my witchy nature. I needed positive people in my life not poisonous individuals that claimed to love me but really didn't. They just needed someone to be there when they needed it, when it suited their needs, to give them what they wanted without any thought to me. Now, I know lots of people think I should have walked away a lot sooner than 10+ years ago but it's hard when it's family and especially hard when you have hope that the sibling you practically raised would change.

*sigh, again*

I consider myself to be a strong person but death has a way of knocking you down and throwing emotions and feelings in your direction you were not prepared for. When my father died, I thought about all the things I never got to say to my dad. I thought about the things he never got to say to me that he may have wanted me to hear. And in those moments of grief and weakness, I made a terrible mistake and called the two most worthless people on this earth, to tell them about my father. Crying and raw with pain, I asked them to attend his funeral as most of our family is in Texas and was unable to make it. They both agreed. I didn't give it another thought and was delusional enough to think that things would be okay. But they weren't. Of course the irony in all of this, is that this whole thing was my fault.

I'm the one who called them. I'm the one who invited them. I should have known better. I should've locked my phone away until I was in my right mind. They were only being true to their loser-like nature. So, on the day of my father's funeral, I received no phone call, no text, no nothing to tell me that they were not going to make it. The funeral proceeded as planned and after the service, I got a text from my sibling stating they weren't going to make the funeral because they didn't have enough gas.

Yeah, you'd think they could have possibly told me earlier?! I can't describe the anger and the sheer disappointment I felt in the moment I got that stupid text. They didn't have gas. This isn't like standing someone up on date. No. It's death, assholes. You only get one shot at this. They knew my dad. My father loved my sibling like they were his and they didn't have enough gas.

Now, almost two months later, comes the dilemma.

I have blocked those two idiots from my phone because I don't want to talk to either of them ever again. However, I get a phone call regarding Moron #1 (hint: not my sibling). It seems there is an adoption of two unfortunate children in the works and this person put me down as a reference of character. (sigh and roll of the eyes) Yeah. Me. Really? I audacity of it. The social worker called and asked me a lot of questions and I answered truthfully. Well, as truthfully as I could while still being reserved in my true feelings. You see, the two unfortunate children are also family., They used to belong to my sibling but this person is so irresponsible and pathetic that the children are really better off with Moron #1. Which in itself is sad. I did my best to express that these children would do "okay" with Moron #1 which is a better alternative to my sibling. Social workers aren't stupid and she picked up right away that I was hesitant with the interview and asked me if there was anything with my relationship with Moron #1 that would be an issue for the children.

Every fiber of my being wanted to scream out "YES! Moron is evil. Moron is manipulative and selfish and self-centered and self absorbed and downright horrible!!!!!" But I didn't. You see, Moron #1 needs to atone for their past actions and behaviors which honestly landed them in this scenario to begin with and these children need something. It's better to go with the devil you know then one you don't. I reluctantly gave my blessings and hung up. The whole conversation took all of five minutes but left me with a sick and angry feeling. Hence, this blog.

Ugh, these past few days have felt like someone is picking at the scabs of my emotional recovery and peeling away any protective covering I had.

So, boys and girls, the moral of this story is, if you think your life sucks, read about mine and feel better.

Yay, it's hump day or day three of this week's hostage situation.

Damn, I need a drink.

Re-Do, please!

2018-06-12T14:27:00.002-07:00

Don't you wish your life had a re-do button sometimes? I know I do. I'd redo a lot of things. For instance, I'd re-do the day I thought I wanted to cut my hair short or when I thought it would be fun to go out with friends and get stinking drunk. I think everyone would like to re-do a day like that. I'd re-do the day I found out my father had brain cancer. I would actually re-do that day and the next 19 days because that's how long he lasted after he found out.

I keep getting these grief calls from my father's Hospice and their support staff. How am I supposed to move forward if they keep calling to remind me he recently died. Not that I don't already know that but I don't need it pointed out. *sigh* I'm not mad, really, just annoyed. My father lived with me. His room is now my exercise room. I did that so it wouldn't be empty but I couldn't think about leaving it a bedroom either. It was too sad. So I changed it's purpose and threw in a treadmill and a stationary bike. I painted it a whole different color and put in a large mirror like the one at the gym. I've done everything to re-do the room to make it different, to make it not sad anymore. I know my father would approve.

My father always told me to move on after death and not dwell on it. The dead don't care and they are not there to help the grief process. I understood that when he was alive. It didn't really bother me when he said it, however, that changed when he died. I felt it was self-centered. How can a person not dwell on death when it touches their life? Family is especially hard. I've tried to follow what my father wanted. I changed his room, moved his things to the basement and created a photo gallery of him to remember him when he was alive and happy.

But changing the color of a room or putting in a treadmill doesn't change how it feels when I step through the door. I still remember that was my father's room. I see him sitting on the bed watching television. This will take time. This will take understanding and this will take me breaking my promise to my father that I would not dwell on his death. This hits home a little hard with Father's Day around the corner.

So, sorry Dad. I'm gonna dwell and I'm going to feel sad and I'm going to miss you. Since you are dead, there's nothing you can do to stop me.

Isn't this over yet?!

2018-05-08T16:10:00.002-07:00

Sometimes I just want to scream! It feels like the last 2 and half years have just taken a crap on me and my family and there seems no end in sight.

Oh let's recap shall we...

2016 was my son's first open heart surgery followed by a plethora of doctor's appointments and other surgeries. I thought it was over by the end of the year and took the advice of Whitney Houston and friends when I exhaled. However, my fun filled days were not over yet and I found myself dumbfounded by the turn of events in my life.

2017 started out fine...well not really. January brought us the bad news that our black Lab Molly Mae had cancer. It was in her bones and basically there was nothing to do but love her.

So, that's what we did. We took her home and loved her.

Then, in April we were informed that my son needed to have another open heart surgery because the tissue valve that they put in was not performing the way that they thought that it would and now needed to be replaced with a mechanical one. Oh joy, not only does my son have to endure another major surgery but Rochester, Minnesota is not exactly the garden spot I wanted to see again. No offense Minnesota. But that's not the end of the story...

In May my father got sick but neglected to tell me until he started coughing up blood in June. That's when we found out that my father had Stage 3 Type B Lung cancer. Now, I get to juggle doctor's appointments for my son and my father. But okay, it has to be done so suck it but buttercup and do it, right? I did.

Of course, that's around the time my only daughter decided to tell me that she was pursuing a career in the Air Force. I felt bitterly alone with everything going on, shouldering the weight of the world and seeing no reprieve. I didn't want her to go but I knew I couldn't ask her to stay. So she left. The house felt like something was missing. It was too quiet, the happy noise of a home filled with family seemed have stopped and was replaced with oppressing silence. I regretted all those times I told her to stop making so much noise with her television or her music. I missed hearing the heavy footsteps running down the stairs as she went off to school. I knew it would be a long time before I would hear her sweet voice ask me if I wanted anything as she drove off to the store.

Crying was the one constant in my life, it seemed, and I was doing a lot of it. I was worried for my daughter, who rarely went for sleep overs much less boot camp. I was afraid that my son's second surgery would be harder than the first since they basically had to rip his chest open again, yank out the tissue valve, scrape the lining of his heart to accommodate a larger, mechanical valve and sew him back together. I was overwhelmed with the laundry list of medications and appointments my father had to go to for his treatments and hoping that it would work and that he would recover.

By September, my son's surgery was done. All had gone well and my father was almost finished with his radiation and chemo treatments. He had responded favorably and the doctor's were optimistic. Things started looking up and I was excited that the year was drawing to a close on such a positive note.

So, I thought.

October 25th at 3:14 pm Molly Mae was put down due to her cancer. My heart ached from the pain of losing her. She had been my faithful friend and companion for eight years and I loved her. She comforted me when my daughter had left and afforded my ability to tolerate the crazy changes in my life. The weight of having to make the decision to put her down weighed heavily on me even though I knew it was the only option I had left. I went home that day, holding her leash and collar in my hands and opened the door to an already seemingly empty house. No smile on her face, no wagging of her tail, no cold nose on my leg. Molly was dead and I never thought anything could feel so awful.

January and February were blurs with trying to get life back in order and I was happy to hear from the doctors that my father was in full remission. The treatments had worked and all seemed have gone according to plan.

Just not my plan.

March brought on a strain in my relationship with my father and arguments were frequent and horrible. I didn't understand. We had never butt heads like this before and it was getting increasing worse until he decided that living on his own after living with me and my family for 10 years was a necessary change. So, he got a place in a nice independent living community and planned for his future. But something was wrong. My father's behavior and attitude towards me weren't the only new issues. He started stumbling more around the house, slurring his words and acting drunk after only a couple of beers. I chalked it up to him drinking more than he wanted me to know and let it go. But then he started falling down more often and finally told me about the headaches he couldn't shake.

March 20th he walked into the doctor's office to explain his symptoms. That day the doctor ordered a CT scan. The results took a week to get back and in that time he had moved out my house and into independent living. Unfortunately, he was rapidly becoming unable to live on his own. He fell several more times was unable to make it to the elevator to go and get something to eat downstairs. I received many calls and drove over daily to check on him. The doctor had requested we get an MRI to ensure that the results of the CT scan were correct.

March 29th we found out that the cancer had moved into my father's brain and he had eight tumors. There was nothing they could do. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach and I wanted to vomit. My heart was breaking but I didn't have time to cry or even think. He had walked into the doctor's office just nine days earlier and when we got the results he was in a wheelchair unable to walk. He was administratively added to hospice that same day. The next day, a nurse from hospice evaluated my father and told he me he could not be on his own any longer. He was carried out in a stretcher to a hospital for five days to allow me to find a nursing home that could take him.

By April 3rd he was in a nursing home but that wasn't going to last long either. My father started suffering from what the medical professionals call "Sundowning". It's when people go through anxiety and aggression due to their medical issue. My father had become violent and only four days after he went into a nursing home, he was removed and place in Denver Hospice.

He went into Denver Hospice on Friday April 6th. Every day was different. Every day he was different. He would accuse me of not seeing him for days, even though I was there the day prior. His body was becoming smaller, thinner. Only five days after being admitted, he stopped eating and drinking. He was comatose most of the time I saw him and he never spoke to me again. It was Friday the 13th when they told me that he was in his last phase they called "active dying". I had had a nagging suspicion when he went into that hospice that he would not be coming out, alive, I was right. For ten days, I watched my father go from a semi-normal (because of his cancer-induced behavior) person, to a hollow, thinned out shell I barely recognized.

On Monday April 19th at 9:07 pm my father passed away, only 19 days after being told he had brain cancer.

My dad, Johnny

When my father came to live with me and my family ten years ago, I was skeptical. We had never had a close relationship but I was hopeful that that would be rectified and we would have that father/daughter relationship I had always wanted. For ten years, my children had a grandfather that loved them. For ten years, I was close to my dad. For that I am thankful.

The house is even more empty now, if that is even possible.

I'm Back!!! I need the therapy.

2016-08-06T09:53:00.002-07:00

I apologize to my 5 readers that I have not been around to keep you entertained. My life has gone crazy in ways I was not prepared for. I am sure all of us out there can relate. My last blog was about my nails and though I have been keeping up with them, they have taken a back seat to my current issues.

My son has undergone open heart surgery at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota. He's had heart problems since he was born and we knew this day would eventually come but you are never truly prepared for the day it actually happens. My stress level has been extremely high and my hair, skin and nails have taken the brunt of my old habits.

I haven't been moisturizing my face the way I should or have been, my hair has actually started thinning out in the front and I actually talked myself into getting a new set of fake nails. Yes you read that correctly. I have spent the last year of my life dedicated to getting off fake nails and getting rid of everything in my make up and hair product line to go as organic/natural as possible and I got a new full set of fake nails.

I knew I was wrong as they were putting them on. I felt disgusted with my decision and internally cried as they filed away all my hard work and the crappy thing was that they cut down my nails to put fake ones on that were the same size. How stupid am I? I haven't been making the best decisions lately and am paying for it.

Since he has gone through the surgery, I have finally gotten my bearings back. The new set of nails only lasted a week before I took them off. They felt heavy and bulky and fake. My nails took a beating and I have resumed my old nail regimen. I've been doing my homemade manicures and using my organic almond oils again. I've returned to my organic facial products and I've gone back to my organic hair line. Of course the damage to both my nails and hair are done and now I'm working behind the 8 ball. My nails are very short to get rid of the fake stuff and to start fresh and my hair has already thinned so I am trying to thicken it up. I have started trying different lines of hair products to try to reverse my issues. I am unsure if my hair loss is the result of stress, the use of bad hair products after using "clean" organic products or if it s hereditary. Of course, I don't talk to any of my family so I am sure if this is genetic.

I know that I can regrow my nails. I know that I can make them strong again. My thinning hair is another issue. Since this is a new problem I've never had before, I am unsure how to handle it. I have read a lot of blogs regarding the issue and found that the three reasons I've already mentioned are the most common.

I can try to handle my stress better but am unsure how successful I can be since my son's condition is still precarious. I can't do a lot about it if it's genetic. I looked at those hair transplant commercials but feel that it's a bit much for the amount of loss I've had. It's not tons but everyone knows their own hair and they can tell the difference. I used to fill out a pony tale like no ones business. Now, not so much. The last issue is easily remedied. Change products. Which I have done. So all there is now is to wait and see. I will keep you posted on my changes with my hair, skin and nails and will list my products so that you can try them out too.

Until next time....

6 whole months!!!

2015-08-14T11:58:00.001-07:00

It's been six whole months since I've journeyed to the land of natural nails. I didn't know what to expect and how to get what I wanted. I took every piece of advice I could find on the Internet, I scoured every picture offering "HOW TO" on it on Pinterest and followed every nail blog to find the secret to the success I so desperately wanted. Now six months later down this path I have accomplished the very goal I have set out to do. Oddly enough it was a turning point in my journey that I started having success. But before I go into all that here is where my nails are today

Now for those of you have been following my blog I want to bring to your attention my ring finger. There is a crest looking dark spot on the nail. That is the indention that the false nails made when I took them off six months ago.

See the same crest near my cuticles. This is a picture of my nails when I first started my journey. They were weak, thin and could bend backwards without pain. Scary but true. Here are some more pictures of my nails now.

Some of the pictures are fuzzy but you can still see the growth that I have had in six months. Now some of my nails did need to be clipped and I have done one major clip on most of my nails. Only because the base of the nail was really strong but the tips were still weak and chemical ridden. Now I said earlier that I was going to tell you when my journey turned and I was able to start really noticing the changes. I found this one lady on YouTube Love4Nails by Raquel Pimental. She really helped me get through the first half on my journey. I followed everything she said to the letter when I started and I can honestly say that she's right on the money on a lot of things but it was when I started taking

Nature's Bounty Extra Strength Hair, Skin & Nails that I really started to notice a major difference. I realized that I had worked so hard to nourish the outside of my nails that I failed to remember the inside of my nails/fingers. I am also proud to say that I have grown my nails without harsh chemicals like polishes with formaldehyde. Most people turn to more chemicals to help them grow their nails. I was trying to get away from all that mess. I also have switched to organics as much as possible, cut down on bread, started to eat more veggies and stopped all soda. Nothing but water. My guilty pleasure is tea and local/organic honey that does still have pollen in it. That's more healthy. So here I am. I hope that I have helped you on your nail journey. Let me know if I have helped you and if you have any questions.

Until next time....

It's been three months....

2015-05-03T19:27:00.001-07:00

Okay it's been three months since I started this journey. I had decided to stop being a slave to my fake nails and go all natural. For better or worse, I wanted to stop putting so many chemicals in and on my body and just let nature take it's course. Having said that, I knew I was in for a rough ride. For starters, I have been wearing solar/acrylic nails since I was sixteen years old. I now have a 16 year old daughter of my own, so you do the math...I will not help.

Anyway, The first two months were hard. My nails were so thin and weak that I could actually bend what little nail I had backwards without pain. So I cut my nails down to the quick and decided to start new. I first started with using Sally Hansen's Hard as Wraps but found out that they have formaldehyde in it. So I changed. I over to Nail-Aid's Keratin and 3 Minute Artificial. It is made in America and does not use formaldehyde and does NOT test on animals.

So, I saw little to no improvement in my nails for the first month and half. I was starting to get nervous and ask myself if I could even grow my own nails. So I started to use Nature's Bounty Extra Strength Biotin. After using the Biotin for the remaining two weeks, continuing my weekly manicure that I got off of YouTube, and following my Keratin and 3 Minute regimen AND keeping my hands moisturized, I FINALLY started to see the fruits of my intense labor. As if over night it seemed like my nails got with the program and started to grow.

So here are my nails when I first started this fun journey.

and here are my nails today

This is my right hand. It seems to be growing slower than my left.

except for my right thumb....

This is my left hand. This hand has significantly more growth than my right hand. I am not really sure why.

I just want to point out, on my ring finger, the one that is next to the pinkie finger, shows tons of growth. If you remember the dark ridge has moved from the cuticle section of the finger to almost the tip.

So there you go. My nails did NOT look like Raquel Pimental's

but overall I am pleased with my progress. I knew going into this fun journey that this was going to be an up hill battle. So I will continue my quest. I think in order to get my nails to look like her's it will take me longer than 3 months. So I will continue my journey. I hope I have helped anyone who is looking to see if they too can grow their own nails. All I have to say on this topic is, don't give up. If I can do it, anyone can do it. It might just take more time.

Until next time...

Nail Journal Update

2015-04-09T15:20:00.000-07:00

No, my five wonderful readers, I have not forgotten about you. I went camping! Yes, yours truly went into the woods and camped. Actually I drove through the woods to a cabin. But before you say that's not real camping. Let me elaborate. It was a one room cabin, no running electricity, no running water, no restroom. See...that is camping.

And before you say "ewww" there was an outhouse down the dirt road for us to use. Now you can say ew. Really it wasn't so bad.

We camped out in Hermit Park by Estes Park Colorado.

So we were out there for 4 nights, 5 days. That's a lot when you have to ration water, keep your own food cold in the cooler (which this wasn't too hard since there was still snow on the ground) and figure out lighting at night. Now in all fairness, the cabin had propane lighting and a stove with a heater, Not too bad.

Why am I telling you this and what does this have to do with nails?

I'll tell you.

As you know, I have been trying desperately to grow my own nails using a plethora of products to help me. Camping definitely put a hiccup in my progress. Making fires, running after the dog, my nephews (who are 4 and 5 years old) and then my own brats...this took it toll. Not to mention, it's darn dry in that there them hills. Okay that was me trying to sound hill billy. Anyway, the first day I was there. I did my regular routine.

A small bowl of white distilled vinegar

1/2 tablespoon of olive oil

1 tablespoon of baking soda

and soak for five minutes

Now for those of you who are new to my blog. I DID NOT make this up myself. I got the nail routine from a lady who does a lot of nail designs on Youtube. Her channel is LOVE4NAILS by Raquel Pimentel just click on the link and you will see how she walks through the routine.

Anyway, her recommendation is to use your oil (preferably Almond oil) 3 times a day. Usually that's not an issue but when your camping it gets tricky. I was able to do it for the first 3 days but after that, no. I did still take my Hair, Skin and Nails pills that you can see in the background.

I did use my Barielle Nail Straightener Creme which doubles as my cuticle cream and of course I did continue to use my Savanna Bee Beeswax Hand and Nail Salve. Now this sounds like a lot to go through in one day but it really isn't.

And with it as dry as it was in the mountains, I was glad that I had all my products. You are probably dying to see what progress I have made, I will show you but let me say this first. I have noticed a difference in my nails since I have been taking my Biotin pills. They seem thicker at the base by the cuticle and I am hoping that follows through the rest of the nail as they grow. Now I am in a very strange nail category which means, my hair and nails grow very slow. So to see the progress I have made (which admittedly isn't much) I am semi-excited. Remember I started this journey the first week of March so it has been 5 weeks now. Raquel from YouTube states it took her 3 months to get her long nails back after she cut them short. So I am still hopeful that I, too, will have long nails some day.

This is my left hand, You can see that there is some nail growth on the nails.

This my right hand. Not as much nail growth but I am right handed and use my nails more, I guess.

This picture is of my ring finger on my left hand. I point this particular nail out to you so that you can note the dark, half circle on my nail. That is where my Solar nails were. See how much growth I've had since I have removed my nails 5 weeks ago. I had had my Solar nails on for only a couple of weeks before deciding to take them off, so this growth is significant for me.

So there's my update. I will continue to do 10 day updates with pictures as I go along. Hopefully I can make more progress.

Until next time....

16 days later...

2015-03-24T16:30:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been sixteen days since my last post and well I can honestly say that I am totally disappointed. I thought that I would see some sort of growth but I haven't. What's worse is that my nails are so thin and weak that I had to actually cut some of my nails because they tore. Not because they grew. They were weak to begin with but at least they feel a little better. I mean I can now take a shower and the hot water doesn't hurt my fingernails. I am also a bit perplexed at the my second to the last finger. If you look close you can see the part of the nail that had solar on it and the amount of growth but my nail never got longer and this is not one of the one's that I had to trim. Things that make you go hummmm.

So here are my nails. I have been using the Nail-Aid Keratin for 16 days. It says 3 days growth but in three days I saw no growth. I have been receiving e-mails and comments suggesting that I use the O.P.I. Nail Strengthening but I refuse. Not because I have issue with O.P.I. but because it has formaldehyde and I don't want to use products with that in it. I mean come on, Angelina Jolie took out her ovaries to avoid getting Cancer, I can be okay with not using a product that has formaldehyde in it because it has been linked with Cancer. After all of this I wondered if my next step was to take Biotin.

So I ran out and got some.

I just started taking these yesterday so I can't really say that they do or do not work but I will keep you posted on that. If these don't work I have purchased a different product. Of course Nail-Aid says they need three months in order to see real growth. So that begs the question, what is "real growth" if it isn't any growth. I started this journey the first week of March and I'm already 20 plus days into my nail growth journey. In ten days it will be a full month.

I will be posting in 2 week increments. That way there might be something to actually report other than another failed attempt to grow my natural nails. Oh and yes, I have been keeping up with my homemade manicures and my coconut oil moisturizing. With all this effort, I have to see some progress soon, right?

*Sigh* Until next time...

Change of the guard, nail style

2015-03-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

I have had the flu for the past week which offered me the opportunity to spend time with my nails. Turn a negative into a positive, right? Well, after my last post I thought about the products that I was using to try to get my nails to grow.

My Pinterest account Jennipher Dallas has been getting a lot of "likes" and repins. My board 'Nails I wish I had' has especially been getting a lot of attention. One picture in particular has had over 300 likes/repins since my last blog. The picture is of the OPI Nail Envy Nail Strengthener. I did look up OPI and although they do not do animal testing but there is formaldehyde in it.

When you're sick you think about how you got sick and what you need to do to get better. So this got me thinking about the stuff in the products that I use. Formaldehyde has been linked with Cancer. Now, I'm not going to go into to all that stuff and preach about it. Everyone has to make their own decisions. But I decided to change products for myself. So I had my husband go to the store and buy me Keratin 3-Day Growth by Nail-Aid.

I started looking into what ingredients were in the polish. It's all vegan, made in the USA (which is not really important to a lot of people but I find it to be a bonus) , they support women's issues and they are on the PETA partner list. Wow! For me this just couldn't get any better. I also had him get me a non-acetone nail polish remover, Mineral Fusion and it smells nice. Now I know that I can't get away from ALL chemicals. I'm not that naive but I can try to limit how much I use.

I got into this weak, thin nail mess because I poured chemicals all over them. I'm trying to change that. I had used Sally Hansen's Hard as Wraps but I didn't see much of a difference or change. Now admittedly, I only used it for three days but some of the products offer wild promises. I switched over to the Keratin and in three days I did notice two nails had new growth. Of course I am alive and well growth is bound to happen. So what I am looking for in this new product is not just the growth factor but the thickening of my nails. I think that if my nails were thicker then they would not tear. So here's my update. This is what my nails look like now.

This is the healthiest I have seen my "naked" nails in a long time. Notice my pinkie finger on the picture above. It tore down to the quick after I took off my Solar nails. Very painful but healing fast. You can also still see the ridge between my cuticle and where my Solar nails were. I am still doing the coconut oil and hand salve everyday, once in the morning and before I go to bed.

But I have added another step. I am now also using Natural Additions by DeLore. They don't seem to have a website I can locate (if you find it please send me the link). It's an organic nail hardener and nail polish dryer. It's kind of hard to see.

I use this after I use the Keratin. This dries the Keratin fast. I know that this step is extra and not on the Love4Nails list of things to do but I just thought it would help. I have only been using this product for the three days since I started using the Keratin so not sure if it really works but I will make sure to document everything.

And of course I am doing this under the ever vigilant and watchful supervision of my cat Milo aka Poopsie.

Poopsie is here for purity control, accurate documentation and holding the down the chair to make sure it doesn't float away. I will keep you posted and hopefully in three more days it will look like I am finally making some nail growth/thickening progress.

Until next time...

3 day nail check in

2015-03-05T14:13:00.001-08:00

It had been three days since I have removed my nails and coated them with Sally Hansen's Hard as Wraps nail covering. Now the directions say to take off the polish after three days and restart the process all over again with two (2) new coats. When they say that you need to remove the polish after three days and start over, they mean it. Here is what happens on the third day, prompting you to remove the polish.

My nails with the initial tear on the polish.

The polish starts to lift and tear off. It started with a small uplift on the side of my nails and I pulled off the rest. Surprisingly, the whole thing came off without having to use nail polish remover.The problem with that, though, is that my nails underneath are still very thin and weak.

In this picture the nail is bent. It's a little hard to see it but I am bending my nail. The weak condition of my nails has continued and I see no real change to them. The next picture is of the top of my nail, showing the tear almost completely off only leaving the bottom of the nail polish still on the nail.

This shows how thin my nails are.

The picture (below) shows me bending my nail the opposite direction, way from natural curve of the nail. This is the condition my nails have been in for awhile. One of the reasons I started to wear Solar/Acrylic nails is because of weakened condition my nails were in, in the first place. I am taking a lot of new vitamins, some D3 for fun and others. Now I have not tried Biotin yet but that is my next course of action. Right now I'm trying to fight this condition of my from the outside first.

So the lady on the video says that she uses a lot of coconut oil for her nails. I love coconut anything so I went out in search and found the perfect combination for me.

I found this at a local grocery store Alfalfa's in Boulder, Colorado. It combines Rose and Coconut together in coconut oil and I have been using this on my cuticles since I started. They do have a website listed on the bottom of the jar, www.kuumbamade.com if you would like to check them out. I've also used their other various oils as perfume and they are awesome.

Now I use the rose coconut oil only when I wake up and when I go to bed. So, twice a day. Admittedly I love the smell. Not that coconut doesn't smell good on its own, it does but I love the smell of roses too. Now because I live in Colorado, most people who don't live here are not aware that even with the snow, Colorado is very dry. I am doing my best to make sure that my hands and nails do not dry out during the day and in between coconut moisturizing.

I went out and bought this from Walgreen's. And it seems to do the trick. Before my hands were flaky and chapped but I keep this in my purse and use it three to four times a day. That may sound like a lot but think of how many times you wash your hands and how they feel tight and dry afterwards. This is usually when I reapply the salve. I try to use and stay with products that are organic/natural and most importantly DO NOT DO ANIMAL TESTING. I do this with almost every product I use. From shampoo to make up and obviously on most nail products. Sally Hensen's website does say that they do not do animal testing. Here's the FAQ website http://www.sallyhansen.com/frequently-asked-questions . If you go to the website, please note that the statement says "we do not test our finished products or ingredients on animals" I can only presume they do some sort of animal testing but are not specific.

Of course I use these products used under the watchful eye of my supervisor Milo aka Poopsie.

He's a good watcher and is quick to point out when it is time for lunch (usually for him) and when his stuffed mouse is running out of fresh catnip. All in all he's a good companion on my nail journey.

I do want to point out that NONE of the products that I am showing you today have paid me to say good or bad things about them. These are my own personal observations about the products and I encourage anyone who wants to try these products to form their own opinion about them. Of course I would love feedback on anything I use that you decided to try. It would be nice to know if they do or do not work for you too.

Until next time...

Nail Journal Week one

2015-03-02T17:19:00.000-08:00

So I've decided to take off my Solar nails and go all natural. Well, as much "natural" as I can.

This is what my nails looked like before I decided to take them off. It had been about two to three weeks since I had them put on. So you can see the ridge widen from the cuticle. I took them off at home and did not go into the salon. You can do that and around here it costs about $10-$15 to have them do that but I chose to do it myself to see if I could without hurting myself.

I used this stuff that I bought over at Sally's Beauty Supply. It works really fast and it helps if you put some one a cotton ball, get some aluminum foil and wrap your nails for about 10-15 minutes each. This does take a lot of time but you do it at home for free. You can go to a nail salon and have them remove the nails but they do the same process except they have their electric nail file that remove. them faster.

As you can see, my nails are very weak and damaged. I had to buff them and cut them because they were so weak that they bent so I didn't want to keep them. Even though they looked long they were NOT strong.

Here are my nails now. They have been buffed, cut and polished. I have been using Sally Hansen's Hard as Wraps.

As you can see my nails are very short and very thin. This is my first day and I am hopeful but not overly as I have tried this before and did not succeed. I ended up going back and putting on a full set of nails. Of course that was only within a two week span. I am going to try to post daily. Not only for my whole five readers but to keep myself on track. I am going to hold out for a whole month and see if I can make a difference.

Until next time....

Can I grow my real nails?

2015-02-27T07:44:00.000-08:00

For years my nails have been thin, weak and bendy. I even went to a dermatologist for help. Of course, she wasn't any help. After years of trying everything and being disappointed, I finally decided to go see a doctor. It took a lot for me to do that. I was hopeful and ready to renew my faith in modern medicine. She took one look at my nails and said "Some people are just born with weak nails." I was devastated. Here I was reaching out, hoping against hope that there would be a pill or cream or nail solution that would help me. Instead I got "just born that way." Well, thanks a lot Lady Gaga. I could have told her that and saved myself $75.00 for the office visit.

I've been watching this Youtube Channel called Love4Nails. This lady has been showing her nail routine and I'm interested. Here's the particular video I like.

I want to try this method but of course I have to take off my solar nails. I have capping my nails with solar and acrylic for since I was 16 years old! Do I have any hope of growing my own nails? Not sure. But I will journal my progress here on my blog and see what happens. Stay tuned for my updates on my nail journey!

Until next time...

Random Musings

2015-02-27T07:25:00.005-08:00

Hi my wonderful 5 readers. I have been very bad and not posting as much as I should have. Well, here's a quickie update. Dad's doing better. He's at home relaxing and not dead...always a relief. I've been working a lot. Have a lot of business happening which is always a good thing. I am, again, going back to Isagenix. I'm going to try to stick with it this time. I, unfortunately, gained back everything I lost. So, I am looking to start slow and go the distance...endurance not speed. Blah Blah Blah and all that good stuff. Really I'm trying to lose weight because I feel old. I bet you thought I was going to say fat. Nope. I actually don't feel fat, as if fat itself was a feeling. I do feel old and with that I have noticed a few fun things.

Boy this old age stuff just creeps up on you. Here I sit at my computer listening to Neil Diamond's Cracklin' Rosie! I'm in my forties (early), not sixties. Oh well, I guess I'm going to be one of those grouchy, "get off my lawn" old people. Gosh I hope not. I started working out more and darn it to hell if I'm not suffering. My hip hurts, my feet are sore and I'm wondering why I should be doing this at all. I have noticed...I like that word, noticed....that I'm not losing weight even though I am following a decent diet and working out at least 3 times a week. I have noticed that I'm feeling more and more tired but I'm sleeping the same amount time. I noticed that I can't drink the way I used to without getting heartburn. This hurts just to write it down much less experience it.

Getting old sucks.

I don't get it. Okay I'm going to challenge the wisdom of whatever "malevolent" being is out there that created us (regardless of religious points of view). Why make a being (that's us) that has consciousnesses of life and the awareness of itself growing old and yet offer it no ability to stop the process and it's also aware that despite everything death is still inevitable? What sick, warped sense of humor is that?

Alright, I feel better getting that out there. So, on a totally different note, my sister had her 3rd kid in January. Another boy. He looks just like his dad. The only thing missing is his Army uniform.

I have started writing more. I have been inspired. Do you know how hard that is sometimes? Well, some of you do. I will say my inspirations are also my dreams. Which can be good and bad. The good thing is that they inspire stories. The bad thing is that the stories aren't always good. When I say good I don't reference the way they were written. My nightmares are so vivid. I have been keeping a dream journal since I was very young. I have tons of them. When I was younger my nightmares were so bad that I had to figure out what to do. Oddly enough they never seemed to stop me from sleeping. I was never terrified to sleep. Most of the times I was such a heavy sleeper I couldn't tell the difference. My dreams have become more vivid and scary as I have gotten older but I now use a dream interpretation book to help. I have bought the same book eight times as it keeps falling apart. It's the best book I have run across for dream interpretation. It's called The Dreamer's Dictionary by Lady Stearn Robinson and Tom Gorbett. If you don't have one I highly recommend this one.

Anyway, I have been having these strange dreams where in my dreams, I'm asleep and dreaming. Now we've all seen those cheesy horror flicks that have someone dreaming and then they think they are being attacked just to wake up and be attacked and wake up again. No. This mine are not like that. Not completely anyway. Usually in my dreams, I dream I'm asleep and then wake up having to start my day like usual. I get up, brush my teeth, have coffee,take a nice hot shower and get dressed except when I go to find my keys I realize I left them back in my bedroom. That's when I see myself still asleep in bed. It's more like an out of body experience. Strange uh? I've had this kind of dream several times over the last three weeks. Oh what does it all mean? Who knows. It's just me being strange, again. Anyhoo, I've gotta run.

I am going to try to keep my posts more regular. I wouldn't want to disappoint my five fans.

Until next time....

Tragic Ends...

2014-10-21T21:11:00.000-07:00

OK my five readers here's an update on my life. I have had a lot going on and with the end of the year coming ever so closer I feel I owe it to get you up to date. So the last time I was here I was all fine. I guess I am still fine but now I have a little more messed up stuff going on in my head and in my life but hey, who the hell doesn't? Right?

First off, my father has been living with me and my family for about 5 years now in our basement and to be honest it's been OK for the most part. But if anyone one of my readers either lives with their parents or has their parents live with them, then they know what the hell I am talking about. It's completely different when you're growing up. Your parents were the end all be all of life as you knew it but as an adult you have had experiences that allow to become the person that you are. Your experiences are not your parent's experiences and you don't do things the exact same way as them even if you do do some things like them.

Parents and most people don't get the fact that if you do something your way that is NOT their way, it's not necessarily the wrong way. Of course that actually gets me to another subject entirely and I will hold off on that, for now.

Anyway, this past year has been really hard with my dad because he just seems to be getting restless with living with us but honestly he has no where else to go. I know I just sounded like a major bytch right now but it's true. I feel bad for him and really cut him a lot of slack but let's face it, I am not the one that squandered all my money away and now I can't afford to live on my own. We all have to take responsibility for our decisions and our choices. I mean isn't that one of the lessons that our parents teach us?

So, as an only child, I have taken on the responsibility of taking care of my dad. Like I said he had been getting on my nerves so what do I do? I sent him on vacation. Not what you were expecting me to say uh? He's been complaining about where we live which is not where I grew up. I grew up in San Antonio, Texas and that is a lot different than Boulder, Colorado. So I sent him home. Only for a week. I gave him the option of when he wanted to go and where he wanted to stay. I thought a week in San Antonio would allow me to get away from his constant complaining about everything and I would have some time with just my family to relax. Does that happen? No. Two-thousand dollars later, that includes airfare, hotel, rental car and money to play with for a week what do I get? I get a phone call every damn day with him B&C about everything from the weather to the traffic.

He needs his own bytch blog.

Anyway, a week later he comes home, complaining about all of the stuff I heard about when he was on vacation. "Damn, San Antonio was so hot the devil had to go back to hell to cool down." That was his favorite line. He said that every time he talked about San Antonio. He was only back a week when something completely random and tragic happened. He had an accident.

One night while me and my family were out my dad fell down a flight of stairs. I was only gone one hour! When I got home there was blood on the wall and I knew something was very wrong. I rushed downstairs to find my dad on the bed moaning. As I got closer I saw he wasn't moving. I called out to him to see if perhaps he was just sleeping but he didn't answer. He was dressed all in black so I could not see anything out of place.Then I closer. I saw his right eye was completely swollen shut and there was a lot of blood on his face. I was in a panic. I didn't want to shake him but he was not responsive. My heart sank to my feet. I felt my heart break and I all I could think of was him dying. I yelled out to my husband to call 911. For the first time in my life I saw my dad as an old man. He was lying in his bed, covered in blood and he looked frail and weak. The tears swelled up in my eyes and could not imagine life without him.

I couldn't tell you how long it was before the paramedics showed up. I just sat next to him, asking him quesitons and hoping I would wake up from this nightmare. After awhile I heard footsteps upstairs and new the paramedics where here. Six large men all wearing different uniforms walked into the living room area of the basement. Two where police officers, two were the paramedics and two were firemen. Don't ask me why eveyone and their brother were sent but they all showed and honestly I was happy they did. All these authoriative men wearing their respective uniforms offered me a comfort of help when I felt helpless. The paramedics gathered around my father and started talking to him. He didn't respond.

I don't mean to do this in two parts but I have to. Come back and I will post the second half.

Until next time...to be continued...

Calgon, Take me away!

2014-05-04T12:35:00.001-07:00

Hello my five fans! I have missed you and am sorry to have been away for so long. I have been battling life and it's many forms of beat downs. I have been riding this "wave" of real estate and have found that I am not fond of it. The jury is out right now to decide whether or not to continue doing it. I'm not having any fun, I'm not making any money and the people are just down right mean. Gee the job everyone wants.

Anyway, I've hurt my heel and am trying to re coup from that issue but on a whole my life has been crazy and not in a good way. I am ready to just hang up my signs. I have discovered that I am not as much a people person as I thought. I make friends pretty easily and get a long with most people but the general public is another animal all together and I am not liking this jungle.

It seems people are not very nice as a whole and are out to blame other's for their mistakes. On my Facebook page I "like" a lot of pages that have posts promoting happiness, well being and kindness. I subscribe to these ideals. I think we should be kind to each other but I have found that most people do not look down a path of common sense, kindness and responsibility. No quite the opposite. They are mean, out to get what they can for themselves and are ready to blame other people for everything even things out of that person's control.

I feel that this job has made me questions my faith in humanity. The basic ethics, honesty and integrity that we should all have has been washed away and replaced with dishonesty, greed and self-importance. All I see is people in the "me me me me" mode. Never once seeing the situation for what it is but blaming and pointing fingers and feeling better about themselves through the degrading of others. What is wrong with these people? Have I been so sheltered from the crowd that I am no able to understand them any longer? Should I have to, if they are like that anyway? I don't want to grow callus in order to do my job but I feel that I have to to survive doing what I am doing.

I am not happy with the path I have chosen. I feel that I have made a mistake. I have given myself a timeframe and have decided to stick it out until then. If things don't change or if I don't meet a decent human being, then I'm done. This may be business but even in business you should have your ethics, integrity and your honesty.

I consider myself to be a reasonably strong person and I can put up with a lot but there are some things in life that are just not worth it. I am in search of a more likable solution. If anyone knows of one, shout out and let me know. I would welcome any ideas.

Until next time...

Be nice to one another, don't be mean and just live a good and happy life.

Real Estate Agent Horror Story

2014-03-09T10:39:00.000-07:00

Ok I think my five readers know that I am a real estate agent. So, I got a call from this guy to see his house because he wants to sell it. I got my materials together and went the next day. As I walked up the sidewalk the door opens. I see this older guy, probably in his mid 50's. He is wearing dirty, grey sweat pants and a blue shirt with yellow lettering that says "Ask how YOU can get a free breast exam" Oh joy. His obvious comb over looked stiff and dirty. His pale blue eyes were so light he looked like he had cataracts. He smiled and asked if I was the real estate agent. I smiled politely and said yes. He opened the door and invited me in. As I walked past him, this wall of body odor that was emanating from him was nauseating. I held back the vomit that wanted to come up and sat at a small kitchen table.

As I put down my binder on the table, my hand landed on something sticky. I pulled my hand up. He asked me what was wrong and I asked him for a wet paper towel because there was something sticky on the table. He gave me a wickedly strange smile and got me a towel. Everything in my body told me to run. It told me to leave and never come back and don't worry about the listing there will be others. But I didn't. I was polite. I wiped with odd smelling sticky stuff off my hand, wiped the table and pushed forward.

I told him that I wanted to see the house and offered him material to read as I went through the rooms making notes. He looked nervous letting me go it alone. As I got up looking around the first floor, I felt him watching my every move. I became aware of his constant stare and less of the house. I went to the kitchen and took notes on the appliances, cabinets and sliding glass door that lead to a small and unkept back yard. All the while feeling uneasy and aware of my situation. As I headed up stairs I could see the guy pacing back and forth at the foot of the staircase. At the top of the stairs was a wall, to the left a small bedroom being used as an office. Papers were laid out all over the desk like someone was searching for something. Down a small hallway was another smallish bedroom. It was empty. No furniture, no pictures, no carpet. Things that make you go hummmm. Then going back past the staircase was an open loft with a lot of large workout equipment and finally the master bedroom. It was a good size but there were no sheets or pillows on the bed. I tried not to feel like I was never going to leave the house alive and that I was in there with a crazy person but things that I was seeing and the way he was acting made me scared. I scanned the bathroom which stunk of bleach and high tailed it backed down stairs.

I just wanted to leave. I didn't care anymore. I didn't want to be with this person. I felt uneasy and nauseated with his odor. I wanted to get in my car, get home and take a shower and hug my family telling them how much I loved them. I hoped that no one had gotten hurt in this house. I was praying that this person was just strange and that nothing sinister was going on. My insides were screaming 'GET OUT! LEAVE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST SITTING HERE? RUN!' But I didn't.

He nervously sat down at the table and asked what I thought of the house. I told him it was a lovely home but had to ask why there was no carpet on the floor of one of the bedrooms. Before he answered, I looked around. Everything was in slow motion. I thought about how I would grab my keys and phone as I ran out the door. I looked at him and thought I could push him down if I rushed him should he try to attack me. All kinds of tactics were running through my brain waiting for him to explain the missing carpet.

I looked at me with a serious look and simply stated that there would be new carpet installed in the morning. I looked at him, he looked at me. I tried to hide the fear I felt with a smile. 'Okay' I simply replied. I went through my presentation fast and left out tons of information. Then out of the blue he stood up and announced I was not the right agent for him. He slowly walked over to my side of the table. I looked at him coming towards me and stood up. I scooped up my belongs as fast as I could and told him I understood. Unceremoniously I was asked to leave. Never had I felt so frightened at an appointment. As the door slammed behind me, I could hear the locks in the door. I sprinted to my car and left.

I was so scared I cried on the way home. Thankful that I was going home.

So the next time all of you out there think that it's easy being a real estate agent. Think again. This is something we have to deal with all the time. I'm just glad I lived to tell the tale.

Until next time....

Good Deed done Dumb

2014-03-09T10:00:00.002-07:00

I was driving down a crowded road when I noticed every one's break lights were coming on. It happened so fast that I thought it was an accident. As I merged from the middle lane to the left, I drove past a blue Volkswagen bug with it's emergency lights on and no other cars. I thought the vehicle had stalled. Then I see the driver help push another car to the side of the road from the far right lane. This moron had stopped dead in the middle of traffic, left their car and helped someone else get to the side of the road effectively cutting off two lanes instead of one. WHAT?!

Why didn't they just pull over to the side of the road and help that person off the far right lane? Nope. The thought process must have gone like this..."Oh gee a person in need of help. Let me stop right here in the middle of the busy street and help."

I understand the want to help but do it right not hold up traffic. This person meant well but went about it in such a stupid way. What happened to common sense? I guess 'they' are right when 'they' say common sense isn't so common.

So the next time you feel the need to so something nice or helpful for someone, please do it right. That way you aren't looked at like a dumb ass but a good Samaritan.

Until next time...

This confirms it!

2014-03-05T15:11:00.003-08:00

Something I said?

2014-02-27T13:30:00.000-08:00

I know that everyone has a certain level of crazy in them. I mean, what the hell is 'normal'? But I know I'm not so off base that I'm the oddball. I don't judge people for their religious views, sexual orientation, preference on dog vs. cat; but I seem to be getting judged. Why? I know I'm not qualified to judge people on how they live their lives so why do people insist on judging me? Today has been a day where I just want to walk away from everyone (except family) and hold my cat. I am a friendly person, I don't go out in the world and try to hurt people or think of ways to screw them over but I seem to be the only person spewing positive energy and not negative energy. Even now, I'm not trying to be negative but I am wondering what the hell is going on?

I belong to meet-up groups online and I like to go out and meet new people. At one of these events, another lady and I connected and we talked. Two weeks later she e-mailed me that she enjoyed meeting me and that she would like to get together and meet for lunch. I agreed because I, too, had a pleasant time meeting her.

We meet today and started talking. During the course of the conversation we got into the subject of men and marriage. Here's where I get lost...as we were discussing her divorce 20 years ago to a man who's eye wondered, I told her about my unfortunate experience with an ex-boyfriend who was the same way. Some time during the course of the conversation, she obviously disliked what I had to say. She abruptly said she had a meeting and left. At least she paid for her own lunch. I was left perplexed at what just happened.

I sent her an e-mail thanking her for her invitation to lunch and hoped that we could do it again soon. She replied. "I'd rather not. Thanks."

WTF?!!

What happened? Is it something I said? I asked as much with no reply. I'm not going to hound this person into giving me an answer. If she doesn't want to talk to me anymore, fine. But I sincerely don't know why. If I did something offensive and knew it, I could take the rebuff. If I did something offensive and didn't realize it, at least allow me the opportunity to apologize.

*sigh*

Some days are just not worth getting out of bed and putting on a bra.

Until next time...

I am now ready

2014-02-16T20:36:00.001-08:00

I have been putting off losing weight. I just haven't felt motivated to do anything. I don't think that I have been "depressed" per say but I just haven't felt a need to exercise or lose weight. Well, I got on the scale and when it squeaked out "get off you're hurting me" I realized that I have let myself go just a little. I have enjoyed doing and obviously eating anything I have wanted to. This includes anything for Christmas (yes, I am aware it's February) and a bunch of chocolate for Valentine's day.

Today, I was reading comedy. I found myself laughing, I mean really laughing...and then it happened. I realized that I was not only laughing but I was also jiggling. And not in a good way (ie. large boobs). Well, I have finally got to "that point" where I am ready to do something about my weight other than trying to avoid losing it.

I talked to a nice person today who was a personal trainer. She was just the prettiest little thing. I mean little. My left leg is bigger than her whole body. She was talking about Shakeology. I have never tried the product I have used Isagenix in the past. I have decided to do some research to see which product is more natural.

I have to admit I am in favor of Isagenix because I know that it works. Now I know that some people are thinking if it works why did you gain it back? I will tell you. Just like anything else you have to keep up with it and try to stay on a good and consistent exercise program. I DID NOT DO THAT.

Oh well, I'm not dead yet. So I will try again. I will use this blog as a sounding board to keep my progress in check and to make sure I don't cheat...much.

Until next time....

Anti-Valentine's Day

2014-02-13T16:54:00.000-08:00

Ok...is it just me or is Valentine's day just a little annoying?!

Yeah, ok, you're in love. NOT WITH ME. So keep it to yourself.

Yeah, ok, you're happy. NOT WITH ME. So keep it to yourself.

Yeah, ok, you're getting laid. NOT WITH ME. So keep it to yourself.

Are you picking up on my theme? If not, keep it to yourself!

All the chocolates, just make you fat...

Roses just die...

And people break your heart!

So why do we celebrate a day that hurts so much? Crap, I don't know...I'm happily married! I'm just playing devil's advocate. You see, I love Valentine's day but I don't know why. I love the chocolate! Hell, what woman doesn't?

I love getting beautiful red roses!

I love that feeling you get when you look at the person you have given your heart to, the butterflies... When they look at you like you, the way you feel about them. The same intense stare. The rush of sensations you feel when they kiss your lips. The safe feeling you experience when they hold you just as tight as you hold them.

It's Valentine's day.

It reminds me that there is still love to be found. Happiness that can still be achieved and hope for a life without being lonely. So if you're single and you go around stating that you hate Valentine's day, it's only because you have lost hope or are angry because you haven't. Either way...enjoy the day.

Until next time... Happy Valentine's Day!

Sherlock v. Sherlock

2014-02-12T17:10:00.000-08:00

I have always been fascinated with most of the Sherlock Holmes movies in the past. I saw the two Sherlock movies starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law and really enjoyed them. I have even started following The Sherlock Holmes Society of London. But recently my daughter has started watching the BBC version of Sherlock Holmes starring Benedict Cumberpatch.

Now admittedly, I enjoyed both Sherlock's but Robert Downey Jr. is no match in the Hottie Mchottie department like Benedict Cumberpatch! Ben's sultry voice and deep blue eyes leave me weak in the knees. His character as Sherlock is very intellectual and calculating.

On the flip side (meaning the American Holmes), Robert Downey Jr. as Holmes is more charismatic and witty. This Holmes is not shy about calculating how to beat the crap out of his enemy. I also like his acting style.

Now this blog is not going to be a point by point on each character or actor. I just merely wanted to point out that I am now a HUGE FAN of Benedict Cumberpatch and his wicked handsome self as the Brit's version of Sherlock Holmes. Of course this new celebrity crush is coupled by Ben playing the part of Khan in Star Trek...

and lending his most awesome voice to the dragon Smaug in The Hobbit.

So awesome!

Well, I know I got off subject a bit off subject but that's ok. I'd like to get ON subject when it comes to Ben Cumberpatch.

Until next time....

The Walking Dead is BACK!

2014-02-10T15:49:00.000-08:00

I am a HUGE fan of the Walking Dead. I've seen every episode since the beginning. This season I was glad to see a little more about Michonne. They allowed us to see her past and making her a solid addition to the cast. This is something they did with most of the cast already.

I admire this character because she has learned how to cope in this new Dead world and survive. In this episode we've learned of her son and her lover. I will admit that I wasn't able to gather the two guys at the table were her first zombies but I slowly got it as the dream turned. Moving on...

I love movies and T.V. shows with strong female characters. Go Woman Power! I also think using the sword is awesome and reminds me of the movie Kill Bill with Uma Thurman.

Another strong leading female role.

But back to the Dead....

This season started out with Rick not looking so good and Carl kinda being a shit. I have to admit I was a little lost with his behavior. But I have learned that they don't really ease into a lot of feelings but they rather throw it out there and watch it stick. For me, the scariest part was when it looked like Rick had turned. I know many fans would just die if Daryl bit it but for me if Rick died...it would kinda put a damper on things. I mean, he is still the main character.

Anyway I am looking forward to next Sunday to see how everyone else faired.

Until next time...

Pudding anyone?

Really?! You're hurting me.

2014-02-02T17:50:00.003-08:00

Ok I have to admit that I am not one for watching a lot of football but when it comes to the Superbowl I make a heck of an exception. But this game just hurts. I have yelled, prayed, chanted to Odin and Thor and finally fallen to my knees and cried. At this time the Seahawks are giving it to us, yes I am a Bronco fan, without KY. I usually get dinner before I get this kinda screwed! My only solice is the Tim Tebow commercials. I've always liked him. Yes, mostly because he's hot as hell! But I really think he has talent...and he's hot!

Anyway to end my misery, I have decided that even though the game is not "technically" over, it's over. I will turn off my television and cry myself to sleep. I will dream of the days before today when the Broncos were killer awesome and we really had a chance to win. I will fill my head with dreams of cheers and of course Tim Tebow...shirtless.

Until next time...

Never argue with a teen!

2014-01-08T19:25:00.001-08:00

Ok as my five readers know I have a teen and arguing with this teen is like sticking a fork in my eyeball and moving it around; extremely painful and of no real use. This teen has also chosen to listen to the wimpiest music ever by Owl City or Kingdom or whatever. This kind of music reminds me of when I was in college and getting stoned thinking aliens from another galaxy. Yes, I was/am a huge X-Files fan and David Duchovny fan.

So my teen has decided to "torcher" me with music. Songs like Lincoln Park's Numb and Imagine Dragon's Demons which I really like. I won't tell my teen that or they'll stop playing the music. So I wonder why the rebellion? I'm not such a bad mom...

We'll leave that alone.

So, I remember when I was 15 and as kids go I could have gotten a lot worse. When I was 15 I did all kinds of crap. I was dating a college guy, I went to Titty Bingo concerts, I got stoned and went to parties, I got a tattoo and became a Goth. I also wore black steal toe lace up Doc Martin's and went to mosh pits while listening to Nine Inch Nail and drinking. So I guess in the grand scheme of things, I got off easy. I guess Owl City isn't so bad. Heck, I think I'm starting to like it.

Until next time...