NEWBORN SURVIVAL TIPS

My Christmas love letter to my 10 year old

2021-01-14T03:07:00.002-08:00

25 December 2020

Dearest Madi,

Merry Christmas my wonderful little nut burger! Just around the corner is your 11^th birthday and Grade 5 😲😲😲!

This year you grew taller, smarter, and more self-sufficient; you are a beautiful, confident young girl (some days I find myself staring at you, watching you smile and your blue eyes sparkle), cooking meals, making tea, scrambling eggs, and sorting out your bedroom décor.

Watching you grew up is both exciting and terrifying.

Your love for playing with English words, writing, reading, and creating detailed drawings is just wonderful; I see how it captivates your imagination and transports you into another world; this will be the key to your success! You will fly into high school and beyond.

I can hear you laughing now, lying in your ‘den’, headphones on. This is what makes my heart the happiest, to hear you laugh whilst doing your favorite things.

You have always worked hard at school, like really hard; I am sure you have found some things come easily to you and some things do not, just carry on pushing yourself to give it your all.

Remember some friendships will last a lifetime and some will not; and how important it is to surround yourself with friends who make you laugh and who cheer you up. Never leave someone out just because they are different, one day you will most likely be very proud of being different!

I hope 2021 will be an exciting adventure for you, full of new things. Remember to take a deep breath and go with the flow. Remember to be brave, do not let nerves or worries stand in your way, just stand proud and go for it!

Remember to have fun, with all the hormones, leg hair and arm pit hair etc. it can make life a little too serious and confusing, emotions do go wild. One day you can feel on top of the world and another day full of tears; this is all part of being an adolescent and it will all pan out eventually.

I want you to know that I promise I will ALWAYS love you; you are mine and I am yours.

Do you remember the meaning of your name?

Gift of God and Strong Warrior!

‘Do not mistake my quiet and gentle spirit for weakness; for I am a mighty warrior, child of God and my prayers will move mountains!’

Much love my little fox! And have a merry merry Christmas!

Photogallery Memoirs of Your 1st 10 months

2011-01-01T04:19:00.000-08:00

Just born, my first cuddle with you, beautiful moment!

Christmas eve 2010 at Nana's

'Old Granny Rita' waiting for Christmas eve dinner

This doll belonged to your mommy and you were about the same size!

Terrible colicky tummy!

Precious button nose

With Helen, your mama's school friend

With Lily Mellin at Gonubie River

Our cherub - love you baba

Daddy's favourite picture

With Granny Wendy, look matching stripy tops!

Wrapped up snug in your little 'papoos'

Playing with Jade

With Ouma Lorraine and 'old' Granny Rita

Grandpa Derek and Daddy

My new purple dress from Aunty Karen

With Uncle Tristan and Taylor at East London Zoo

Aunty Stac and Cousin Erin

In the early hours of the morning on the day your were born

Off to theatre Beacon Bay Life Hospital 24 Feb 2010

Your first precious breath

Gosh, the lights are very bright in here....

Our Muppet

Daddy's first cuddle

Proud Nana and Papa

With your Godmother, Nici Mellin

Mulley's Gully the week-end before you were born

Nahoon River

'Old' granny and Aunty Terri Beacon Bay Hospital

Your cousin James owned this babygrow!!

Aunty Stac still in hospital

Cousin James

This magazine is just too boring...

Blue eyed babe

With your Grandpa Derek

Unit 9 Selborne Green, Berea

'Little me' outfit from Rica, Aunty Lisa's neighbour in Holland - little fists due to colic

Selborne Green

Spit braai at The Mellins - Lee's 40th birthday

1990 - Mama's matric year

Lavender Blue, your stork party 16th December 2010

Your mama, do we look alike???

Proud Daddy

I thought you looked too beautiful in this picture!

Just love my basket of toys at Nana's

With my amazing Aunty Lisa

At Reggies, trying out a walker

With your cousin James, not even a month old!

Daphne, said the most beautiful blessing over your life this day. Made me cry. Pictured here, Dot, Cheryl (carer), Julie, Daphne and Stella (residents from Berea Gardens)

Angel child

With Pearl, our precious maid

Dad with Teddy, Mommy's first dog chosen from the S.P.C.A

Just a week or two ago, you were still inside my belly!!

The first time I laid my eyes on you.... the most magical moment in my life!

The night before... we were terrified!

Add caption

Good book!

My Godchild Holly Mellin

With Aunty Sue

A selection of messages in cards received on your safe arrival

2010-10-24T07:38:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to you both
On your sweet 'someone new',
Who couldn't make a finer start
Than choosing folks like you.
Best wishes, Maggie
Berea Gardens Resident
P.S. (Maggie mole came from Maggie)

May she always be a bundle of joy (yes, you are)
and fill your life with sunshine (yes, you do)
Love George and Betsie
Berea Gardens couple

Congratulation on your miracle.
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works"
Ten fingers, ten toes and a perfect little nose -
God has created a masterpiece for you to love and hold.
To Kelly and Claire on the birth of Madison, such a beautiful little treasure.
Molly
Berea Gardens resident

Most woman have the greatest hearts desire and wish to experience the joy of motherhood in life!! We wish you lots of happyness, good health and lots of love and joy.
Sincerely yours,
Joan and Peter
Berea Gardens couple

I have heard Madison is beautiful! God bless you all.
Love Nora
Berea Gardens resident

This is for Madison!
I pray this for you.
That God will bless you in the years to come -
That Our Lord will watch over you,
keep you healthy - happy.
And may your life be filled "with the joy of the Lord".
And may you grow up to serve Him.
The peace of God be upon you and all your family.
I pray this prayer in Jesus Name.
With much love,
Daphne Dreyer
Berea Gardens resident
(She is in one of the pictures and she annointed your head with water that day and prayed for God's protection over your life - was beautiful)

Dear Kelly and Claire
What a wonderful event,
you've given birth to a CUTE and LOVELY baby girl;
So here's WARM congratulations and best wishes for your
baby girl's HAPPY future.
CONGRATULATIONS
and lifes best to your baby girl.
Enjoy your little girl.
Love and God bless,
Aunty Inez (Papa's sister in Zambia)

Dear Claire and Kelly,
when Lisa gives you this parcel (gift) you will have given birth to a child! Strange to know when it will happen, but also reassuring! Good luck with everything that is yet to come.
Veel lief van ons allemaal met een dikke kus van my!
Rieke en de rest!
(This is your Aunty Lisa's neighbour in Holland. She gave you the cutest outfit. See the picture, it says 'little colic tummy')

Dear Kelly and Claire
Congratulations mom and dad. Welcome little Madison.
Lots of love,
Judy and Wyn (Dad's Aunt)

Dearest Clairy-belle and Kel,
CONGRATS
My gosh but we are so very thrilled for you both on the arrival of darling, beautiful little Madison! Little angel baby from heaven.
Madison, we love you lots little one, you are a true blessing to our world.
Love, Robin, Nix and Sam XXX
P.S So proud of you mama!

Welcome Madison
May you always have laughter to kiss your lips
Friendship to brighten your being and
beauty for your eyes to see.
God bless,
Wendy
Berea Gardens resident

Leaderpackaging staff:
Hope your little bundle brings you lots of joy - Liz
May she indeed bring you endless joy - Nettie
Congratulations, truly blessed - Wessel
Congrats, here is the start to your little family - Michelle
You are going to love it! All the best! - Sheldon
I'm sure little Madison is going to bring you much happiness - Love Claire
Enjoy the time you have with your child to the fullest, because they grow up so fast - Jeremy

Aren't little girls wonderful?
To Kelly and Claire,
So happy to be hearing a girl has come your way!
Sincere congratulations - You're "In The Pink" to stay.
Well done! Best wishes to you both and of course Madison - welcome.
Sue Properjohn
Berea Gardens resident

Wishing you every happiness as you share in the delight of your beautiful new daughter. Congratulations. Love Derek (Grandpa) and Lorraine.

Congratulations on the birth of your new baby girl. Enjoy your bundle of joy.
Love Lou and Marie Visagie
Berea Gardens couple
(gave you the cutest bubble dress and leggings outfit)

May your baby be as beautiful, gentle and loving as you!
Love Elsabe (Nana's very good friend, they ran the London marathan together!)

Dear Claire,
Congratulations to you and Kelly!
One thing I know for sure, is that this little bundle of joy is going to have a 'wonderful' mommy. We can't wait to meet your babe.
All my love,
Nix
(Your Godmother)

Stimulate the senses

2010-10-02T10:12:00.000-07:00

A fun thing to do for your baby is to stick different pictures up at her changing mat. Madi loves it. I stick up pictures of her Grand parents, Aunty, cousins and some pictures just for fun, cut out of magazines. It distracts her while I change her and the look of contemplation when she sees a new 'batch', is too cute.

Try it, it is so easy and rewarding to see her growing brain ticking over.

Yours in mothers trying their best

Teething

2010-09-13T10:57:00.000-07:00

Second tooth appeared today after a night from hell! When ever you feel your baby is just misbehaving, remind yourself... at this age they always cry for a reason! Poor wee soul.
Mothers in trying their best

Constipation and teething

2010-09-07T10:38:00.000-07:00

I started solids and be warned! Constipation follows something terrible. I followed the recommended rice cereal advice as a brilliant first food, but it has its draw backs. Don't hesitate to introduce purity prunes. I learnt to late! After many glycerine suppositories and the prune pulp we have a happy baby again. Mix the prune pulp in the porridge, I am going to do it every second day and see how it goes. So distressing to see her cry with pain trying to pass a stool. If I had only known.....

P.S She cut her first tooth today!

Yours in mothers trying their best

Introducing solids

2010-08-15T10:35:00.000-07:00

After much research and a terrifying allergic reaction to Nan milk formula, I started my Madi on puried pear. According to my naturapathic friend, contrary to what most people believe, fruit is a great food choice to start as a solid. I know there will be raised eye brows followed by, 'be warned they will develop a sweet tooth' - well rubbish, they wont. Fruit is one of the puriest forms of food you could offer and they will still enjoy vegetables. Carrot being the first. Well cooked.

I was surprised to learn that in Holland fruit is also the 'norm' first food. She is 5 months and 3 weeks old and I think it is going well. It didn't go quite as I expected (and her Dad who couldn't wait to feed her), gulping down one delicious mouth full after another, but rather like a slow exploration of tongue and flavour. 2 spoons being an awesome achievement, just once a day.

Tomorrow, Paw Paw.

If you have decided to do the 'jar' root - Olli is recommended as the puriest. Keep some in your cupboard as back up. Available at Pick & Pay and Woolies.

But most of all have fun!

Baby products

2010-06-30T00:23:00.000-07:00

There is an amazing range of pure products lovingly made by a local couple living on a farm just outside East London and they call themselves 'Casa Castile'. The 'healing balm body mouse' is too wonderful. Made only from Olive oil and shea butter it is excellent for all skin types but especially for the sensitive skin of little ones. I have used it to massage her from top to tail and as a bum balm and it is wonderful.

They also have a lovely lavender body/hair wash.

They are at the Lavender Blue market every Saturday or you can contact them on 043 7343269. Do yourself and your baby a favour and buy some!

Yours in mothers trying their best

Mumford and Sons

2010-06-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

Mumford and Sons = The most soulful, restful and awesome music to rock, sway and sshhhh your baby to. Listen to 'Little Lion Man' , 'Feel the Tide Turning' and 'Awake my Soul' which makes me cry everytime. Too beautiful.

Yours in mothers trying their best

Which baby sling is best??

2010-06-14T12:27:00.000-07:00

My baby is now a good 8 Kg's + and still needs the rocking of my arms to fall asleep. An hour of ssshhhhhing, swaying, rocking is about the maximum my newly developed biceps can handle... but as a result, I went on a search for the perfect baby sling and here's what I found, in a nutshell.

Kango pouch *** (borrowed from a friend) = appearance is really smart and substantial, lovely padding.   But shoulders soon took strain and I found taking her out once asleep without waking her, impossible. I also needed another pair of hands to help me put her in and take her out. The clasps always seem to be bumping her face, her chin, cheek, eye etc.

Babysense sling ** (expensive at R400) = very cool looking, stone and soft to touch, made of 100% cotton.  But although they say your baby can't suffocate, I wasn't convinced when her chin disappeared onto her chest and she started grunting! I haven't used it since. Waste of money.

Fleece double wrap***** (borrowed from a friend) = Simply the best! Easy to put her into and to take her out. She can be positioned to sit up using the two wraps or lie using just one. Warm for winter, possibly hot in summer? But a great product. Be warned, don't put your baby down with the wrap around her. I found her sleeping with the fleece fully over her face and this material is definately NOT breathable.   See picture.

At the end of the day, no sling totally alleviates the weight from your arms. but if I have to choose... choice number three is by far the best.

Yours in mothers trying their best

Book worth buying - food for thought for mother and great reference guide

2010-06-10T23:57:00.000-07:00

This review is about:

The Magic Trees of the Mind: An Innovative pgm Nurture your Child's Intelligence Creativity Healthy Emotions by Marian Diamond

The book is really tough going for the first +- 80 pages with the discussion centering around the anatomical structure of the brain and its development and was a little over my head. However, having said that, if you perservere, it is an excellent read and I found it hard to put down once it moved on.

A tremendous amount of food for thought and a superb reference guide, full of recommendations and ideas on how to enrich your childs life. The author is an inspiration and I will definately refer back to this book for years to come. It really challenges parents to 'up their game' and understand the vital role they play in enriching and shaping the future of their child.

Yours in mothers trying their best

Letter to the Daily Dispatch Newspaper re immunizations

2010-06-09T05:40:00.000-07:00

3 June 2010

Dear Eddie,

I think I have a story worth investigating.

Having just given birth to my first baby, I took my daughter for her immunizations to the British Travel Clinic. I was told to bring my medical aid details and that there would be a consultation fee. I was knocked sideways when the bill for the combination vaccine and the optional Rotavirus and Pneumococcal vaccine came to a whooping +/-R1300! I had assumed the vaccines recommended by the World Health Organization were free and that I was only paying for the Rotavirus and Pneumococcal vaccine. Expensive but worth it. I was wrong; I was paying for the lot.

Luckily my medical aid did cover the cost using my savings – but this was money put aside for medical emergencies. While having tea with a friend and also a new mother a few weeks later, she suggested I go to the Drake Road, Nahoon clinic for the follow up Booster innoculations. There you have to wait your turn but the immunizations are free, all of them I was told! I was shattered to learn that I could have gone there in the first place.

When the time to vaccinate came around again, I went to the clinic where I was informed that they had no stock whatsoever. The sister in charge said that she was powerless to help me and all the other mothers in the waiting room. For the welfare of my child she suggested I go to a private clinic.

I ended up going to BayChem and another +/- R1100 later (slightly cheaper because of a Nationwide shortage of the Rotavirus vaccine), I left.

So, my questions to the Department of Health are:

1 Will I be reimbursed the R2400 for vaccines that I paid for which should have been freely available, and presumably without charge?

2 Will they contact the mothers who were turned away to notify them when stocks become available and how will they trace them?

3 Will the Department of Health be held responsible for disease outbreaks as a result of babies not receiving vital vaccines timeously?

The advertisement campaigns currently running on Radio Algoa “Don’t wait. Vaccinate!” and in magazines like Living and Loving (June 2010 edition) are a complete waste of financial resources, money that could be used to ensure supplies don’t run out.

To make matters worse, I am still waiting for maternity benefit payments from UIF after 4 months since application. How are young mothers expected to pay to vaccinate their babies with no income? Bear in mind I still have more booster vaccines outstanding!

I am fed up, bothered and bewildered, does being an honest tax payer really pay dividends? I feel it is long overdue that the individuals responsible for the collapse of these essential services are held accountable and that mothers like myself who are now out of pocket, are reimbursed.

Yours in mothers trying their best,

Claire Neithercut

Giggles

2010-06-09T05:37:00.000-07:00

Madi giggled for the first time last night, 9th June 2010, just over 3 months old - her Dad was talking to her on the couch. He wiped tears from his eyes which in turn got me weeping too! What a precious milestone to have witnessed.

A cure for colic!

2010-05-15T20:42:00.000-07:00

I have been quiet for sometime now... rocking, soothing, trying to understand my colic baby. My medicine cupboard has grown to the extent that I could open a small pharmacy and yet I still I had a bawling baby until I came accross the most important find of my life, a book by Dr Harvey Karp. A pediatrican and child development expert and a nationally renowned authority on breastfeeding.

"The happiest baby on the block" - The new way to calm crying and help your baby sleep longer, has changed my life overnight! I have NEVER read a book so fast. His advice calms your baby in minutes and you can start implementing his 5 "S's" method straight away. My biggest regret is that I did not discover this book earlier.

Please, please read this book if you have a colic baby, or if you want to know how to soothe your child.

"There is nothing quite like watching Dr. Harvey work wonders on a screaming baby. He's not a pediatrician, he's a magician. Every time I bring my kids in to see him, I walk out wishing he was their father." - Larry David, star of Larry David: Curb your enthusiasm and co-creator of Seinfield.

Yours in mothers trying their best

Sadest milestone

2010-05-04T03:44:00.000-07:00

My daughter, Madison cried her first real tear drops last night (thanks to Colic) at the age of 9 weeks and 6 days. I cried too.

Yours in mothers trying their best

Immune booster

2010-04-26T04:02:00.000-07:00

At my local health clinic they swear by a tonic called Jungle Juice to help a new mother cope. I have tried the Black Thornberry Elixor on its own which is delicious and I highly recommend it for stress, breastfeeding or just general well being.

JUNGLE JUICE
60 ml Black Thornberry Elixor
1 Litre Berry Liquifruit
2 Litres Water
1 Sachet Rehydrate
2 Goronsan C

Mix together and drink as desired.

Yours in mothers trying their best

Gorgeous fingers

2010-04-19T00:20:00.000-07:00

Want to know the hardest part of being a new mamma??

Trimming nails on those tiny, tiny gorgeous fingers!

Yours in mothers trying their best

A friend in need

2010-04-17T11:31:00.000-07:00

My baby, Madison. is 7 weeks old and I have found the pressure to go out and socialize in the evenings, very unsettling. Perhaps 7 weeks is considered 'old' for some new mom's, or they feel they need to get out for their own sanity, but not me.

I think that if someone wants to be truely supportive to you during the most challenging, demanding and enthralling days of your life, they should drop all expectations and give you as much time as you need (that goes for Dad's too). Don't offer to babysit so we can go out, the very thought of seperating myself from her at this vital bonding time fills me with angst and for me, there is nothing worse then listening to my baby's persistant crying in someone elses arms. I pace around like a caged tiger. Remember also, that initially a large portion of the day she is being breastfed, sometimes as often as 2 hourly (or even more) to establish milk supply and pacify (recommended). So boob and babe have to stay together.

But offering to drop off supper, straighten up your kitchen or do a grocery run... now we're talking.

Of course, cuddling your child is always on the agenda, just don't expect me for supper. Sunset is the start of the worst time of day and it kicks off with you already feeling shattered. I am so frustrated at being told you have to get out, I do. Morning tea, lunch, perfect, but in crisis hour(s), packing her into a car is a logistical nightmare, too tiring to even contemplate. You have to be prepared to come to us, you may end up making supper and washing dishes, but this is exactly what a new mother needs.

Really what is 3 or 4 months in the big scheme of my life? I am happy at home contrary to what most people might think and I am sure my baby will still end up a socially well adjusted cherub. No, I will not stay at home forever and yes, I will definately want babysitters.

There seems to be an insane notion that you must resume back to your old way of life as quickly as possible.... but what is more insane? That very notion or requesting some patience whilst you adjust to a completely new life, your old way of life is just that, your old way of life. This new life did not come as a surprise or shock to me, this is what I expected and wanted and I am loving it, even when I am crying and saying my mojo is dead and what have I done. I am making the assumption that there is no other time in my life that I will be this sleep deprived, so please be understanding and patient.

Yours in mothers trying their best

Colic

2010-04-15T23:11:00.000-07:00

My Madi has colic and I don't have a cure to share with you, only reassurance that you are not alone and to let you know what I have tried and tested.

The agony of not being able to soothe and comfort my baby has been the most emotionally challenging experience I have had to date, so I really do know what you are going through and feeling. I think if my lounge walls had flames painted on them, I truely would believe I had arrived in hell. You can see her distended belly in this picture!

One observation is SLEEP or lack of it as an indicator of the night ahead. If she does not settle and misses her morning or after lunch snooze, I know I am in bigger trouble then usual as the sun sets.
I have tried all the common recommendations, massage, warm baths and seen the Paed, but the advice is so depressing and limited, "hang in there, it will pass". Don't waste your money on Buscopan or other expensive remedies, they taste so vile, you will just end up dealing with vomit together with the colic.

A dummy seems to soothe her once she takes it, so I offer one, with a drop of Telament. My domestic also suggested wrapping fabric firmly around her waist and that also seems to help a little, you can use a flannel nappy folded into a triangle and tuck in a warm compress. I really don't know if these things are only making me feel better, but I feel worse doing nothing.

It dawned on me the other night how fearful I am getting of putting her down once she is asleep incase she wakes up! A knot of anxiety grips my heart and tears can whell at the very thought. The consequence of putting her down too soon, is about 2 or 3 additional hours of crying which has nearly pushed me over the edge on a few occassions, so I reckon it is a very justifiable feeling of angst. I try to bend as close to the bed as possible before putting her down, so she is not startled by the feeling of falling through the air.

The extract below was taken from http://www.coliccalm.com/ - a site I found very informative.
Another possible reason for infant gassiness is hyper-lactation syndrome. When a mother has a very abundant milk supply, she may produce a larger amount of foremilk. Foremilk is higher in water content, higher in lactose and usually delivered with greater force during letdown. In excess, foremilk can make baby’s stomach cramp, creating more fussiness. A baby that gulps the quickly flowing milk also tends to take in more air, thereby getting gassier. Because the baby may not be getting enough of the rich hind milk, he or she tends to want to eat more often, which perpetuates the problem. The baby that suffers from hyper-lactation syndrome is characterized by higher that normal weight gain, increased gassiness, and fussiness.

I am trying to express some foremilk and will let you know if it makes a difference.
Oh, I have also stopped eating diary and peanut butter.

Yours in mothers trying their best

Please refer to my blog called a "cure for colic" - you can forget all the advice above, just get this book!

Nappy rash

2010-04-12T07:51:00.000-07:00

Just got over a really bad episode of nappy rash and after trying a heap of remedies the best, number one bum cream...

Sudocream.

Apply it THICKLY after each nappy change. Resolved in about 2 days.

Wonderful stuff.

Yours in mothers trying their best

Are private hospital all that they are cracked up to be?

2010-04-12T05:04:00.000-07:00

I've had time to reflect on my emotionally shattering stay in hospital, after giving birth to our little girl by c-section 6 weeks ago and will use this blog as a healing opportunity to overcome the ordeal and perhaps help you not make the same mistakes.

Madison was much anticipated. I read to her, talked to her, made her a trinket box, took her snorkelling and dreamt about her incessantly for 9 months but, also for years before that too.

When delivery day finally arrived, armed with a baby bag carefully packed and a cocktail of nerves and excitement, it was with incredulous disbelief that the first two days of her life were possibly the worst two days of my life. I literally got swallowed up in a production line of new mothers.

I had visioned lying with her, on my chest, listening to her breath, gently stroking her face...
But the first bewildering thing that happened was that she disappeared, for hours. Apparently into the baby nursery, where I presumed they were inspecting her?
I had lost complete control over my newborn. I kept asking after her, when would I see her? Why was it taking so long and no one could answer me.

What I discovered much later, was that she was hypo-glyceamic. Her blood sugar level was only 1.3 mmol/l at birth and she was lethargic and jittery. They had had to give her a sugary drink to raise her sugar level and kept her in the nursary to monitor her progress. What infuriated me was that at no point during this period, was I notified about what was going on.

Down the corridor I could hear infants crying and I had to lie there full of angst, wondering if it was her. I couldn't climb out of bed because I had had a spinal block, so I was trapped.
When she did finally arrived, she was dressed in a hospital gown and I was told to breastfeed her without delay. I was still in the dark as to what had been going on, so presumed this was obviously the norm. Under the 'care' of a maternity nurse, my boobs got pulled, shoved, bruised (genuinely) and pintched in a frantic attempt to get Madison to latch. If my boobs could have been independently operated and removed, I think they would have done it.

The whole experience was horrific, not the maternal bliss I had imagined. I had wanted time so I could quietly introduce her to me, my boobs, my heart, her father.
After finally finding my voice, I asked the nurse to please leave us alone, so I could feed her in our time, calmly, without bruising and shoving.

I have to question, what has happened to hospitals and the care givers, that a new mother can be stripped of her baby immediately after birth, given no explaination and then not given any say in how I would like to spend the first few hours with my baby?

Even in the animal kingdom, the mother swaddles her pup alone initially, and gets extremely aggressive and protective if anything comes within a radius she deems too close.

Have we become so clinical and heartless that the natural ebb and flow of life is totally disregarded? The idea of home births has always filled me with trepidation, but I now understand why some mother's so vehemently choose this option.

I would have liked to have fed her that sugary bottle and soothed her when they were busy pricking her heels to get blood sugar levels, if I had known. I could have dressed her and participated in the discussion when the pediatrician visited her.
It seemed that no sooner was she brought to me to nurse when they wanted to wisk her away again, to give me some rest, you understand.

Understand! Rest! I wanted my baby. As soon as the feeling returned to my legs, I clutched my belly and went to the nursary and fetched her. Some hours later, with her fretful and unable to settle, I again went to the nursary requesting a 'top up' bottle which they refused, I was told that I had to breastfeed or feed her with a cup.

They totally disregarding what I wanted and what the pediatrician had said, I could give her a bottle when ever and how often I felt it needed. They kept telling me (and thinking I am sure) that I was just emotional and hit up due to hormones and that Madison was fine and not to worry so much and I kept trying to tell them it had nothing to do with hormones, that Madi was simply thirsty. The more I argued, the more adament they were that it was my hormones talking.

Desperate I phoned her Dad in tears, who came flying over. We got our bottle (not a cup!) and she drank it and was satisfied. She never, ever got nipple confusion as a result of using a bottle (which I have done on numerous occassions since), ever.

To this day I 'top her up' if I feel she needs it. I discharged myself on day two at 08:00am. Missing the hearing test, discharge weight and what ever other test they had to tick off on their checklist. I couldn't wait to get out of there. I wanted to take care of my baby at home, on my terms and following my own intuition. She lost 500 grams in those two days in hospital, which thankfully she has regained, plus.

There were were actually so many other areas of neglect in my care, I shake my head just thinking about it. Failure to check I had passed urine (essential after a spinal block and the removal of a urine catheter), failure to assist me getting out of bed for the first time, failure to check my wound for bleeding, leaving the over head lights blazing all night long with me still sitting in an full on upright position on both nights and of course, the failure to listen.

The kindest act I recieved during my stay in hospital was from the cleaner. She moved my water closer and once, after seeing I never got to drink my tea, organized a fresh, hot one. Bless her.

I can't go back and undo how things unfolded and I could beat myself up about why I didn't just speak up more, but I was overwhelmed and shell shocked. I can only thank God for a beautiful daughter, who is happy and healthy and cradled with love in the safety of her home.

I truely do appreciate that hospital births are mostly unavoidable and life saving and my experience could have been simply bad luck, but my advice?

Make sure the nursing staff see you before you go off to theatre so that they know what your expectations are and can meet them to the best of their ability, trust your new motherly instincts and stick to your guns. But, finally... go home as fast as you can so you can enjoy your new baby, the way you want to.

Yours in mothers trying their best

What does a c-section cost?

2010-04-10T04:03:00.000-07:00

For my stay in a South African private Life Hospital and care =
R24 660,99.
Discovery Health medical aid did cover the full amount on a Classic Saver account.

A love letter to my unborn daughter

2010-04-05T22:53:00.000-07:00

Edited version

Dear Madi,

I know your Dad will be an awesome father; he is such a gentle soul and is so hard to upset. He loves the beach and speaks about taking you snorkelling with him as soon as you can swim. I think he will pass his love of the ocean onto you. If you want to see your Dad happy, take him down to some gullies or a beautiful river and let him explore the world underwater. He loves it! I hope you will too?

I dream you will be happy, feel loved and free of any unnecessary pressures. School can be so tough, trying to fit in – just be you. Don’t be afraid to be friends with the kids who are “a little” different, who march to their own band. Be different yourself, question and trust. Don’t worry if you like purple ribbons in your hair or stripy socks. The world needs colourful people and I hope you will be one of them. Please read a book called “Mister God this is Anna” by Fynn. I hope you will be a little like Anna. Loving life, seeing beauty everywhere, especially where other people don’t and daring to challenge beliefs (in a gentle, soft way of course) and seeing the magic and beauty of life in the simplest of situations, those moments are all around us.

Well my little Madi, for now I must rest. You are making me want to go to bed really early these days... not that I mind.

Together we will sleep until we meet.

Much love to you my sweet - my angel -

Your mumma XX
P.S Your Dad’s favourite song when he thinks of your arrival into this world is “daughter” by Live.

Do Schools kill creativity by Ken Robinson

2010-04-05T07:40:00.000-07:00

If you have a few minutes to spare, take the time to check this out on You Tube. Being a new mom myself I found this talk extremely thought provoking and well worth listening too.

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Yours in mothers trying their best

http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html