My Child is a Psycho

By George, I think she's got it!

2014-05-22T21:20:00.000-07:00

Hehe, just a little quote from My Fair Lady.

So I've started this little furniture restoration.. thing and decided I probably need a name for it. I pondered for a while, I thought maybe something cutesy? So I asked my 4 year old and all she could come up with was stuff like paint, rainbows, and kitties... sorry girl but I'm not naming my anything "the painted kitty". My mind goes straight to the gutter. Then I tried to find stuff that I could use my name in... Jayme. Jayme's what though? Jayme's Furniture - BORING. Nothing really went with that. Then I thought about my last name... Rayne. Ding ding ding! That was the winner. Rayne Repurpose. Rayne Recycle (no, Im not a trash man) Rayne Restore. Rayne Restoration. I think the double R's make it roll very smoothly... it just sounded right. So I have officially named my business/hobby/whatever:

This is the banner from my facebook group that I started as well: https://www.facebook.com/groups/404931949648322/

Anyway, things have been going great. Couldn't be more excited! And speaking of excited... here is a sneak peak at something that is going to be AH-MA-ZING!

Yeah, my picture frame says "Every Day I'm Hustlin"... ain't that the truth! Can't wait to complete the bottom half of this hutch, it is going to be THE. COOLEST. THING. EVER.

PS - don't you like how I stage all my photos with all this wonderful décor?! I'm hoping it'll catch someone's eye and make them buy it lol. Wishful thinking :)

The Brits are Coming!

2014-05-22T20:17:00.003-07:00

Union Flag End Table

I say this about every piece I think, but this is one of my favorites! I mean... the flag design, the distressing... it's got such charm! And it really wasn't that hard to do! I painted the base of it white, did a few coats of that, then tried to figure out what the heck I was going to do with it. I have been eyeballing lots of pieces with the Union Jack flag and I really adore them, so I thought this was a great piece to try that on! The design may not be exact, and it may not be completely accurate but really... it was a first attempt and I'd say a mighty fine one it was. So after coming up with a game plan I started taping it off. I did the 2 X's and covered the border with painters tape and put on a coat of the pale blue. Did the same with the bottom shelf, taped off the edge and painted it. That was all that the bottom needed.

Once the blue on top dried I taped off some more lines and added the mustard yellow/puke green color. That was the trickiest part because on the lines that go diagonal, the center yellow line isn't supposed to be centered, it's actually offset on different sides for each line. Just look at a british flag and you'll see what I mean. So I did my best.

After the paint dried I did some distressing. I started waxing, first with the clear Annie Sloan wax, then with the dark. I actually decided there was an area on the bottom part that was TOO distressed so I had to go back and fix that. That is the #1 thing I love about chalk paint & wax, it is SOOOOOOOO forgiving!! Even though it was already waxed, I just brushed some paint over the area I didn't like and let it dry then waxed again. See the next 2 photos, it's the large distressed area center/right. You'll see it's there in one picture and not in the next.

Ta-Da! How fantastic is this paint?! I can screw up all I want and still go over whatever I don't like and redo it. Took no time at all, seriously awesome. All in all, this table was actually pretty simply to do, pretty cheap to do (thanks to the paint from the restore and "oops" department at home depot) and now it's extra pretty to look at :) Now it just needs to find a home... one that isn't mine preferably. Although I would gladly keep it, I think my husband will go crazy if we have a ton of mis-matching end tables everywhere. Hope you all enjoy!

Cheap Table Gets a New Look!

2014-05-19T19:10:00.001-07:00

Distressed Chevron Side Table

This table has got to be one of my all time favorite finds. Only cost me $4 at a garage sale. SCORE! The top was really aged looking and the legs were all scratched up. Nothing I couldn't handle. I put it in my car and when I got home I had noticed that the top was crooked. I hate buying things and then getting them home and realizing I have to do extra work on them. Well, luckily for me it actually wasn't a loose top, the top actually swivels. Fantastic! This thing needed absolutely NO work done other than a paint job. Phew. So, I had no clue what I was going to do with it then I remembered seeing this AMAZING dresser on pinterest that has actually inspired several of my pieces. I have done this style before but have always done it over a piece that had been painted already.

I didn't quite know how I was going to tape this down and find a way to make sure paint wouldn't bleed under the tape. I now realize I need to try frog tape instead of the blue painters tape, I have heard RAVE reviews! I wanted a clean look (at first) of chevron over the ratty old table. I thought it would make a great contrast. So, being a girl, I got out my white eyeliner pencil (yep, not chalk... but eyeliner) and my carpenter's block and got all the lines measured out. I got my tape placed where I wanted it, then gave it a nice coat of clear paint before I started with the white.

Once the clear coat dried, I did a coat of homemade white chalk paint. A quart of Benjamin Moor cost me $2 at the Habitat for Humanity Restore. And I didn't have to use very much.... I just love a cheap project! As I was removing the painters tape, it kept removing the finish on the table. No big deal, I wanted the wood to be distressed looking anyway. I just had no idea that the painters tape could do that! So I let this table sit like this overnight, to let it dry. I got back out there the next day and wasn't quite satisfied with it. So I asked some friends to guide me. Do I leave it with the clean white chevron or distress the paint? Everyone said to distress, so distress I did!

Once I finished sanding and distressing I covered the table with Annie Sloan clear wax a couple times. The legs are still dinged up and the top has scratches all over it... but I LOVE the way this turned out. I loved it so much that it now has a permanent home in my living room. I normally don't keep anything I do, but my little house really needed this table. Look how cute it is!

Goes great with my chevron pillows!

Looks really cute next to this chair I did, I love this little corner now! I had originally planned on buying one of those bookshelf ladders but now I have my own, unique pieces. NOBODY in the world has a corner like this. Love love love!

Photo Dump

2014-05-19T01:26:00.001-07:00

I have done SOOOO many pieces lately that I can't keep this blog updated. Painting furniture takes all my time then I forget about this. Now I'm just backed up on pictures so I am going to take a photo dump. Right here, right now. Enjoy this shit :)

Upcycled Creepy Baby Dresser

before... ew. scary.

yep, that's what I'm talkin about. Look at it. Daaaaayumn.

New knobs can make ALL the difference!

Pink Spindle Side Table

Distressed Round Tables

Neon & Damask TV Trays

Please don't hate me for just posting pictures right now. I just want to show you all the pretties. If you want to know how I did something, please ask me in the comments. I really want to share, but its 3:30am and I caaaaaaaaaan't. Love you, bye!

Coffee Table Upcycle!

2014-05-19T01:10:00.001-07:00

Well since this post is about COFFEE tables, I found this picture to be somewhat fitting. Mostly I found it to be hilarious, but that's neither here nor there. I'm sure someone else will find this as equally amusing as I did.

Okay here we go, onto the first coffee table. This one I loved, loved, loved. But the colors in my living room are brown, turquoise, and orange. (Odd colors you may think, but they look phenom) So needless to say RED wasn't going to work for me, not like I needed a coffee table, I have a nice one, but I really liked this one. Whatever, here's some pictures.

Nice pictures huh? My fancy camera did good! I painted this red one with homemade chalk paint, covered in clear & dark annie sloan wax. Boom, boom, DONE. Love the basketweave around the base of the table. So charming. Me likey very much!

Now onto the next table (AND matching side table) These picture's are not as nice. Don't judge. The furniture still rocks!

This set sucked. Well not really the set, the coffee table was a piece of cake. The side table. UGHHHHH. Give me the heebie jeebies. I found some spider egg sacs lodged in the lattice work on the front doors, so I shop-vac'd them out, nbd. I got to thinking about what the bottom might look like. I know spideys like dropping sacs wherever they can. And lo and behold... there were about 15 sacs under there. Mommy spider too. I just about went into a full blown panic. No, not panic. It was terror. What if they hatched? Like right at that exact moment?? Hundreds? THOUSANDS of spiders? Hell to the NO. No. nope. No thank you. I grabbed the shop vac again and just annihilated the little family. No regrets. I don't do spiders, june bugs, locusts, or bees/wasps. I will run and scream like a little baby. I will use you as a human shield. I don't care if I look ridiculous. Those bugs just utterly terrify me. I will cry. Ok, no more bugs, bug rant over. No more sacs = happy, beautiful, CLEAN end table! Yay! Now someone buy it in case I missed one!

Chairs, Chairs, Chairs.

2014-05-19T00:50:00.001-07:00

Pete: There are five different types of chairs in this hotel room.
Ben: Holy fuck. What are they all doing in here?
Pete: These are five different types of chairs.
Ben: Get them out of here, man. This is too many chairs for one room.
Pete: There’s a guy that works for this hotel. His whole job is to find chairs. Look at this one. Look at it! It’s gold and red, and it’s kind of shiny, shiny thread. Unbelievable. It is beautiful and it feels amazing.
Ben: The tall one’s gawking at me and the short one’s being very droll

This is what I think of when I look at all the chairs I have fixed up.

I have upholstered,and painted all these chairs. I fell madly in love with this first one, and it is currently sitting upstairs in my living room next to the most BEAUTIFUL distressed chevron table I have ever painted. I will post a blog on that next. But here are chairs. Lots of different kinds.

Elephant Chair

Carved Rose Chairs

Kelly Green Folding Chair

Vintage Toile Chair

Vintage Table & Chairs

There you have it. That's basically almost all the chairs sitting in my house/garage at the moment. Lots of work involved in all, some more than others. They all look beautiful but that elephant chair... MINE!!

Clever Title

2014-05-19T00:27:00.001-07:00

Chevron Dresser

One of my absolute, most favorite pieces I have done! Look at it. Just look. Did you look?? My eyeballs are heart shaped right now. So this thing was FREE. It was an ugly little duckie. Sticky stuff, hideous knobs, looked like it had been chewed on. It may have been ugly but it was definitely not trash worthy!

I have pretty much mastered the chevron pattern thanks to the carpenter's block. Easy peasy, takes me like NO time at all now. So that's good! Might make it one of my little trademark pieces. Add a little chevron here & there, I like it. I like the big, bold chevron though, not the zig zaggy all over the place chevron. There's a diference. I think. Whatever, I cleaned this thing up, removed the knobs, got the base coat on then got this thing taped up. Sounds easy, right?

The hardest part was cutting the tape with a razor blade and trying not to scrape any paint off. I had to tape it while it was all put together so everything would be exact, then I went and cut the drawers out. I don't know how to describe my process sometimes so I hope you can understand what I am saying. After taping, I did one more coat of white just in case anything were to seep under the tape, at least it would be white and you wouldn't notice. Got that done, painted it mint. Went to the hardware store to pick up knobs and thought "How cute would mis-matching the knobs be?!" then I thought "VERY cute!" SO I did that. I bought all sorts of knobs. Put them on and it turned out pretty stinkin cute. Voila!

Here is kind of a before & after, minus the knobs. I don't know.

Chalk Paint - first attempt!

2014-05-19T00:12:00.000-07:00

Chalk Paint Side Table

I have heard many wonderful things about chalk paint and in all reality I have been wanting to try it forever. The only thing that held my back was the price. I decided before I attempted making it myself or buying a giant, expensive can, I would give one of the sample sizes at home depot a try. And I am really glad I did! This stuff is great. No sanding AND no priming... I'm in. So I may have not splurged on the paint at all, but to finish it off I definitely splurged on the wax. Let me tell you, Annie Sloan ain't cheap! Over $50 for 2 cans of wax, all I could think was "This better work and be the most amazing thing in the history of ever" And I have to say, the distressed look is phenomenal. I couldn't do that without this wax, there is no way. I hate sanding, plus I'm not that great at it. But with the chalk paint and texture on the furniture, you don't have to do much to get that great, antique finish. SO I am SOLD on this chalk paint. Count me in. Next time I will try making my own though, just out of pure curiosity.

Before the wax

Dresser Restore

2014-05-19T00:05:00.000-07:00

Mint Green Chest of Drawers

This piece... ugh. What a giant pain in my ass. I mean, I did not get a chance to fully inspect this before it was delivered because the lady had it FULL of junk. So my mother in law delivers it to me, I just give it a quick glance and all looks good, nbd. I open it up and the drawers have holes and cracks and it's missing this and this is broke, blah blah blah. It was just a hot, hot mess. So I wasn't very inspired. I started off just painting the top white and waxing it with Annie Sloan clear and dark wax. I left it like that for a few days because I thought I was done haha. No, I kept walking by it in my garage and I just couldn't stand the sight of it. Brown and white, those are not my 2 favorite colors.

I had some paint that my father in law had given me, so I decided to mix in a little white paint to tone it down and make it a little more "minty". I am very happy with the external results. As for internal, not so much. The drawer stops are apparently very vintage and nobody could help me find replacements. Only about half the stops were actually still there, so the drawers would slide back too far and it wasn't flush with the outside of the dresser. So I rigged it with some U-shaped staple things instead. Cool. Next was to tackle the shitty drawers. I filled all the holes and cracks, even stapled a few places together, added some nails to reinforce. Lots of stupid work. It definitely did not make the drawers more appealing. No one wants to see that crap. Actually let me back up one second, I don't know how to make drawers so the route I chose was the "easy" way out. Someone else can make a new drawer bottom if they MUST have it. I am not selling or buying high-dollar pieces, so my cheating ways are what works. Continuing... the drawers looked like crap, no one wants to see that. I decided contact paper would be the way to go... and it works.

It looks really nice. It just has some issues. If you want a cute dresser, this one is it! I have actually been talking myself out of replacing the dresser I have in my guest bedroom with this one... we shall see. But I really hope someone buys it so I don't have to move it up the stairs into my room haha.

The Frosting Chair

2014-04-22T23:06:00.001-07:00

Bentwood Chair Upcycle!

This chair was found by my mother in law at a garage sale for $5. Of course I just knew something cute could come of it! So I dug through some fabric scraps and found an unused can of spray paint and got to it. It was a little trickier than I had originally anticipated. Normally when I do a chair, the seat comes out and makes it really easy to upholster but not this one! I had to peel off the fabric trim that was glued on, then rip off fabric and tear out staples. It was a mess. But I powered through. Then I had to start stapling my new fabric down... not so easy when there are chair pieces blocking the area you need to staple. But I think I did it just fine! Painted... check. Upholstered... check! Now I just needed to find some trim to cover up my messy, stapled, raw fabric area. No big deal. I hit up the local fabric store in search of upholstery trim. Lo and behold there were SO MANY choices!! So I bought 3. A neutral, a frilly one, and a bright green one (it was like 75% of too - bonus!) The neutral was ehhh, the green was fabulous but the blue rosette was my absolute favorite! It was so girly and added just the right touch of chic to this little chair's shabbiness! Got the hot glue gun out, applied the trim, and this little baby was good to go! I think the rosette trim looks just like the frosting on a cake, this chair just makes me want to go sit in a little cupcake shop or ice cream parlor. So cute!

Total cost: $15

Boom.

Old fabric torn off, spray painted white.

New fabric stapled on, as you can see the edges are pretty rough!

Here she is, I just adore the rosette trim!!

It just looks like cake frosting, it's adorable!

Little Odds and Ends!

2014-04-21T21:16:00.000-07:00

Hexagon Side Tables

Would you believe me if I told you I got TWO of these tables for $13 total!? Crazy right?? Who would want to part with these beautiful end tables for such a ridiculously low price? Not me! I just love the shape, the doors, the hardware... these little guys are great! I have actually finished one of them in a nice turquoise color, not sure if I want to do the second one the same and sell as a set or do a chalk paint and antique finish on the other one and sell individually... Also I kind of want to keep one. For the price I paid, it really wouldn't hurt my budget if one of these didn't sell. I am trying to talk myself into it haha.

UPDATE: I painted the second one a lime green, it looks fabulous. And I sold them both. Wooooohooo!

Total Cost: $25

Bought 2 of these at a little antique thrift store for $6 a piece! What a steal!!

Spray paint used to be my friend, after this table... not so much. I'm in hand cramp central over here!

And here are the last 2 things that I forgot to take before pictures of... I always do that. I have a nice, fancy little camera and either I take pictures with my shattered POS iPhone or I totally forget to take a before pic at all. I blame it on Mommy Brain, it's a disease. You forget your phone, your keys, your phone... I said that. Okay well here are a few more things I restored. I'm going to end this for tonight because things might get weird if I don't. Toodle-oo Kangaroos!

This was a $10 swap & shop find, I think it is absolutely gorgeous. The beads and the little cherubs, sooo cute!!

Last, but not least, another swap & shop find that has been sitting in my daughter's room untouched for about a year. I took her to home depot and let her pick out the color and this is what she chose. I'd say it was a mighty fine choice!

Dip Dye Obsession!

2014-04-21T19:32:00.000-07:00

Dip Dyed & Upholstered Elephant Chair

This is BY FAR one of my absolute most favorite pieces I have done so far. It has such a funky charm to it, I actually can't force myself to part with it. It's up in my living room now, I think it has found it's forever home... for now. Until I find something that I love even more, who knows. I change my mind like I change my underwear. Anyway, here are some photos!

Total Cost: $35

This was a swap & shop find, for $15 I couldn't pass it up! It had such wonderful potential.

I decided to do the front and back of the back piece different fabrics to switch things up. I really love how it turned out and it matches my living room PERFECTLY!!

The elephants, the colors, the dip dyed legs.... TO. DIE. FOR. I am slightly obsessed with the dipped legs right now, it gives it a great pop of color without making the chair too overwhelming. Plus it's really easy. I went to an estate sale recently and found some fabric for SUPER cheap and had planned on using it for this chair but I decided to hit up Joann's just for shits & giggles and found these fabrics and I just knew exactly what to do with the chair. I'm a proud mama bear right now :)

Chevron Side Table DIY

2014-04-21T19:29:00.000-07:00

Navy Chevron 1950's Table DIY

This piece is very simple, slightly destroyed, but still a funky little table. I got it for free so I really didn't care what I was doing to it but I knew I didn't want to do anything too overwhelming. It's a very mid century/1950's piece, I thought it would be adorable for some plants or to unscrew the legs and hang it as a piece of wall art. So many possibilities! I opted for a thick chevron pattern, I've done chevron before so I knew what I was doing. I used a carpenter's square to get precise angles, measuring tape to make sure each chevron section was the same width apart, and then taped it down and got to work!

Total Cost: $9

The before. What a mess. I had to take off the shelf piece because it was completely broken on the other side. Not a big deal though!

Primed and taped. I used a carpenter's square to make a precise chevron. Pretty simple stuff.

Finished product!

This little guy just went off to a new home this evening. It really makes me happy that this stuff is selling so quick, I feel like I'm finally on the right track! Painting furniture makes me happy, it puts me in the zone and I feel such a sense of accomplishment once a piece is on it's way to looking like a million bucks! I will be posting several other items I have done so keep your eyes peeled!

My new business venture, adventure!

2014-04-21T19:12:00.001-07:00

Recently I have decided that instead of answering to "The Man" that I was going to continue being a stay at home mom but I am going to try to start up a little side business/hobby thing. I have been painting furniture for a while now but have kept everything I painted, never thought about selling it. I decided that since I have all this free time, tons of space, why not try to venture into the upcycling furniture world! I am really, really excited! I have my mother-in-law helping me find these junky old pieces, which has worked out great because we have found LOTS of awesome things. She is my junker and I am the creative eye. I see something and just know what I would want it to look like and then I try to do it! I have found that local Facebook swap & shop pages are by far the easiest way to get your name out there. I am on maybe 4 or 5 different swap pages and it is so much easier than craigslist or etsy. It's free and it's local, can't beat that for starting out! And for those of you that don't know what a swap & shop is, it's a Facebook group with several hundred to several thousand members. You post a picture of the item you have for sale; clothing, furniture, whatever it is, put a price on it, where you are located and how far you are willing to meet and wait for the fish to bite. It has worked well so far! Out of the 3 things I have listed, 2 have already sold and one is getting picked up at the end of the week! YAY!!! Okay, without further adieu, here is my first project!

Floral Upholstered Bench DIY

So here is the very first piece I finished, and I am selling it this week! I covered it in a bright blue exterior paint and found a great outdoor fabric for 40% off at Joann. I think it turned out great for my first attempt at upholstery. I would keep it but honestly, I have no idea where I would put it and it doesn't even come close to my color scheme.

Total Cost: $30

Before picture, this thing was covered in some pretty hideous fabric. Ick.

Primed in a dark grey, ready for some fun!!

Final product. Look at how the colors just pop! It is so bright and cheerful, I absolutely adore this little bench!

EEEEEEK! How lovely it turned out!! So bright and cheerful. Man, it was a drabby little thing before, such a sad little bench. But now it's just the cutest little thang!

I am so excited to get the ball rolling and start churning out some stellar pieces! There are some awesome pieces I've acquired recently and I am pretty sure they are going to turn out AMAZING. So come back soon for more!

Growing up is hard to do

2013-10-24T12:10:00.001-07:00

Howdy folks. Well, it's a little over a week til the big day and life is absolutely insane. It's just chaotic and stressful and I just want to snuggle up with a bottle of wine and forget about everything. Where to begin? Okay, so my wedding dress has been at the alteration lady's forever it seems. It fit just right, then too small, just right, then too small, (weight gain, not her fault) and the last time I tried it on, it's way too big. I can see down the front. No bueno! I try it on again on Monday and am crossing my fingers it fits perfectly. Stress rating - 5

Next thing that might send me to a psych ward, I booked a DJ way way back in February and he said a few weeks before the wedding to fill out the song choices, etc. so I did that over a week ago. Nobody has e-mailed or called me. My mom has e-mailed him and nothing. I am going to be bridezilla if this guy flakes on us. Stress rating - 8

My darling daughter got the cutest haircut last week, it was growing kinda mullet-y so it needed to be cleaned up. And it looked great until yesterday when she decided to take things into her own hands and hack her bangs off with some scissors she found. She claimed that she couldn't see anything because they were in her face. They are so short, practically buzzed off kind of short, that it is beyond fixable. Stress rating - 100... not so much stressed about the wedding, she can wear a headband, but more stressed about the fact that I have to find a way to cover them up EVERY day until they grow out. F.M.L.

The damage is done... #shortbangsdontcare

So needless to say, life is throwing me these stupid little curveballs nonstop. It wouldn't be so bad but I'm also babysitting these other kids, and planning Kinsley's birthday party on top of finalizing wedding plans. I will be so so soooooo relieved once this is all said and done!!!! Although I am super nervous about being the center of attention all night. I am not a fan of having all eyes on me. If I make down the aisle without breaking out in hives, I will consider the day a success. Anyway, if you don't hear from me soon, it's because I've been shipped off to a mental institute. Toodleooo!

Oh PS- Smoothie Diet weight loss update: 6 lbs in 3 weeks. Not too shabby!

Berry Banana Nutribullet Recipe

2013-10-14T10:41:00.004-07:00

This smoothie is currently ranked as my new #1 favorite. It is so delicious! But before I get too excited, let's talk a little. I currently inherited a TON of fruit from my best friend's parents. They are big on the smoothie's also, and they are lucky enough to own a Vitamix (jealous), so they buy their fruit in bulk and basically have a ton of fruit all the time. They decided to send a huge amount home with their daughter who then decided to give it to me because she knows I'm doing this smoothie thing. I got multiple bags of strawberries, pineapple, watermelon, grapes, and blueberries and decided to use some of that fruit for my smoothie today.

I call this one

BERRY BANANA SMOOTHIE

2 handfuls of Organic Girl "Super Greens"

1 banana

1 large handful of blueberries

1 handful of strawberries

1/2 handful of pineapple

water

All of this fruit, except the banana, was frozen. Not store bought frozen fruit, but fresh fruit that was then stored in the freezer. So what I'm trying to say is... well, lots of this fruit was frozen when I went to blend it. This smoothie is very nice & creamy and has a great consistency!

As you can see it isn't a green smoothie for once, there's so many berries it just kind of hides the greens which is awesome. This thing is packed with antioxidants and tastes like a sip of heaven. I strongly recommend you to make this asap. This is going to be a short post today, got lots of stuff to get done and I'm babysitting and there's only so much time in a day. Hope you guys enjoy!

Popsicle Workout

2013-10-10T11:40:00.001-07:00

You guys are in for a treat. Two posts in one day!! Double your pleasure, double your fun! I mentioned this workout in my previous post and want to post it while it's fresh in my mind otherwise it won't happen.

THIS IS THE POPSICLE WORKOUT!

POPSICLE WORKOUT!

(echo, echo, echo)

My kickass coffee cup that I keep my workouts in.

I've started a little beginners workout program that I do in my home. I call it the Popsicle Workout because you're supposed to write all these down on popsicle sticks but who really has those laying around the house? Not I. So I cut a bunch of paper into strips and wrote my random exercises on those. I draw about 5 at random everyday, sometimes more if I don't feel challenged enough. But here is the list of what I have written down, this is EVERYTHING, so if anyone has anything they recommend adding please let me know down in the comments.

And here's the list:

weighted oblique reach 10 reps, 3x on each side
"the hydrant" 10 reps, 2x each leg
front raises 10 reps 3x
opposite arm & leg raise 15 reps, 3x
shoulder press 10 reps, 3x
standing diamond 10 reps, 3x
single leg stretch 5-10 reps ea. side
ballet twist 6-8 reps, 2x
25 jumping jacks
40 jumping jacks
50 jumping jacks
plié 10 reps, 2x
curtsy lunges 10 reps each side, 2x
lateral arm raises 10 reps, 3x
upright rows 10 reps, 3x
bicep curls 15 reps, 3x
shrugs 10 reps, 3x
10 push ups (i'm horrible at push ups so I'm starting low)
chair dips 10 reps, 3x
tricep curls 10 reps, 3x
squats to overhead press 15 reps, 2x
squats 15 reps, 2x
50 squats
side leg raises 10 reps, 3x each side
30 sit ups
20 crunches
40 crunches
lunges 15 reps, 2x on each side
inverted leg raise 20 each side

As you can see, there are some multiples of things like jumping jacks, crunches, etc... I did that on purpose so I can incorporate those into my routine more frequently. When I draw my random "sticks" out of the cup, I put the ones I've completed aside so I won't redraw them. Does that make sense? Also, if I somehow draw ALL arm workouts or ALL abs or draw 2 of the jumping jack ones, I will put 1 or 2 back and draw again. I like to keep my mind and body confused.

I think if this cup could talk it would say "Don't fuck with me before my coffee or I will throw myself at your face"

Ok so there you have it. My workout plan. 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and get them sit ups right and tuck your tummy tight and do your crunches like this....

BYE!

Nutribullet Smoothie Diet

2013-10-10T11:12:00.000-07:00

I recently received a Nutribullet as a wedding gift and may I just say, I love it!? We've had a very short relationship (going on 3 days now) but I knew it would be the real thing the moment I drank my first smoothie. It was the most delightful thing I have ever laid lips on! We all know the wedding is in less than 4 weeks and that I've been having weight gain issues because of my thyroid so I decided to try this thing I call the smoothie diet. Basically I'm having about 2 smoothies a day, and sometimes a small one after dinner if I still feel hungry.

Isn't she a beaut?!

One thing you should know about me... I absolutely HATE vegetables. I can tolerate a salad here and there, but it has to be spring mix or leafy greens, I refuse to eat iceberg lettuce. Bleh. I will occasionally eat corn, potatoes, and sweet potatoes. That is it. That is all the vegetables I will eat. And not often AT ALL. I am more of a fruit lover, I will eat any and all fruit but my least faves would have to be raspberries, pears, and oranges. Aside from my love of fruit, I still don't eat the recommended daily servings of it. I want to be healthy and I want to eat healthy.

Another thing you should know about me, when I had a hyperactive thyroid I could eat ANYTHING I wanted and not gain a pound so basically all my life I've been eating crap. I would eat a frozen pizza daily, chips, candy, fast food all the time, I would drink like 6 sodas a day... it was a very unhealthy lifestyle but I could get away with it! Once my thyroid was destroyed I started packing on the pounds and I realized I had to do a major lifestyle change if I wanted to maintain my skinny body. Luckily my appetite has dropped tremendously, so I don't have the urge to snack constantly. I haven't had a frozen pizza since August! I haven't eaten a Dorito in about a month, and have had a TOTAL of about 7 cherry lifesavers this month. So needless to say, I am committed to doing this right. The only "unhealthy" foods I've been buying are for my daughter, lunchables, hot dogs, etc. Basic stuff that picky little 3 year olds eat. She has an odd appetite, she loves her hot dogs, chicken nuggets, mac n cheese and such but also LOVES eating fruit, veggies, salads, and soup just to name a few. I've even gotten her to drink some of my smoothies with me! So what I was trying to say is, No I don't constantly feed my kid crappy food. She has a good balanced diet, and honestly I'm trying to plump her up a little since she's so dang tiny!

So I started my smoothie diet, and it's going great! I'm actually down 2 pounds in 3 days, YES! Some people may think that it isn't a great idea to drink your meals or to substitute so many meals for smoothies but they fill me up and they taste amazing and it's actually a ton of food! So haters are gonna hate and all I can say is, this is my life and my body and I do what I want. And I want to drink smoothies damnit!!

Here is what I bought to make my smoothies: cantaloupe, 5 bananas, a package of strawberries, a package of blueberries, about 8 organic pears, 8 organic green apples, 2 oranges, golden flaxseed, Organic Girl kale, and Organic Girl "super greens".
I bought all of this Tuesday night and today is Thursday and I have gone through all the strawberries, blueberries, bananas, and the container of super greens. I've had about 2 pears, 1 apple, and half an orange as well. Now you may think, should she be eating that much fruit? It has a lot of sugar! Well, here's what I have to say. I JUST started this diet and I'm not a veggie lover so I am working my way up to less fruit and more veggies. I think in my next smoothie I will substitute 1 fruit for some carrots. This is a lifestyle change and I can't make myself LOVE veggies overnight, I'm going to transition into it and maybe one day I'll even enjoy eating my veggies whole and raw, who the hell knows?! But as of this day, that ain't happenin.

So maybe you'd like to see a recipe or 2? My base for each smoothie is 2 handfuls of greens and a banana. I like the banana because A. it gives it great flavor and B. it makes the drink nice and creamy.

The smoothie pictured below contains the following things:

2 handfuls of super greens
1 banana
1/2 navel orange
1/2 organic green apple
A couple ounces of orange juice
water & a little crushed ice

Looks weird, tastes ammmmazing!

The smoothie I am currently sipping on is:

2 handfuls of kale
1 banana
8 strawberries
4 pieces of cantaloupe
water & a little crushed ice

It is a little darker than the one above, but they all look pretty similar.

On top of this diet I have started a little beginners work out plan I call the "Popsicle Workout". Basically I wrote down a ton of different exercise on strips of paper and draw 5 at random everyday, sometimes more if I don't feel challenged. But I am saving that for another post. Continue to be on the lookout for new smoothie recipes though. I plan on making a TON more and maybe I'll even whip out my professional camera instead of using my iphone for pictures. That'd be a treat :) Over and out!

YEAH, SCIENCE! (okay it's more about health than science but I wanted a Breaking Bad quote, sounded better than "Yeah, health!")

2013-10-08T23:02:00.001-07:00

I may have been MIA for the past year, I have had a lot on my plate. Planning a wedding is way more work than I thought, and now I'm down to the nitty gritty (less than 4 weeks, ahhh!) and things couldn't be crazier. In the past year I have been planning a wedding, raising a 3 year old, babysitting a 1 year old and a 2 year old, have had a hospital visit, been diagnosed with Grave's Disease and treated for Grave's Disease, lost weight, gained weight...and well, things couldn't be crazier! I honestly don't even know where to begin. I think tonight I choose HEALTH!

So, Grave's Disease is an autoimmune disease, which commonly affects the thyroid. I was diagnosed with a severely overactive thyroid (hyperthyroidism) and had a pretty sizeable goiter. I was put on a cocktail of pills: anti-thyroid medication, which I had to take 6 of each day, and a medication for my heart. See, hyperthyroidism has a slew of shitty symptoms....

Anxiety
Irritability
Difficulty sleeping
Fatigue
A rapid or irregular heartbeat
A fine tremor of your hands or fingers
An increase in perspiration or warm, moist skin
Sensitivity to heat
Weight loss, despite normal eating habits
Enlargement of your thyroid gland (goiter)
Change in menstrual cycles
Erectile dysfunction or reduced libido
Frequent bowel movements or diarrhea
Bulging eyes

I was beyond exhausted, I looked like skin and bones (I am 5'7" and was weighing in at 127 at my thinnest - not a good look on me). I was eating constantly, pretty much every 3 hours on the dot or I would get nauseous and light headed, to the point of me throwing up. I didn't WANT to throw up, I enjoy food a lot, but my metabolism was ridiculously high and I couldn't constantly keep up with it ALL the time and if I let myself go too long after feeding time, I would just get sick.

Somewhere in time I got put on meds, got a good dosage and everything was cool. My doctor told me I had a very rare chance of my thyroid "correcting" itself, they call it remission, I call it "correcting" cuz I don't have cancer, it's just a stupid fucking disease. So anyway, my doctor told me I pretty much had the option of surgically removing my thyroid or taking radioactive iodine, but the thyroid had to go bye-bye cuz it was more trouble than it was worth. Before I even had time to research much about my options I ended up going into a "thyroid storm". Basically, my resting heart rate was 170bpm. I was sitting on my couch and I had felt like I ran a marathon when in all reality I was doing absolutely nothing. I woke my fiancé up at 1am and had him get our daughter up so they could take me to the ER. I was in atrial fibrillation. I was given a couple different IVs with a couple different things to bring my heart rate down and once they got the right meds, my heart rate dropped from 170bpm to something like 100bpm within minutes. I felt like everything was in slow motion and honestly, I felt stoned outta my mind. I felt like everything in my body just instantly slowed way, way down. So after about 3 hours in the ER (now around 4am) my fiancé & daughter are still by my side, we were told I was being admitted. So I sent my daughter off to the grandparents and Adam came back to hang out with me for the rest of the night. I ended up in the hospital for 3 nights (if you count coming in at 1am being one of those nights). Even though my heart rate was normal, I still had an irregular heart beat, which makes you more prone to clotting and heart issues, yadda yadda. They kept me on an IV, ran a trillion different tests, did EKGs, echos, all sorts of heart-related stuff. One cool thing they did was a sonogram on my heart and I got to see it in all it's glory. I loved that. I've always wanted to see my heart. I've also always wanted to see a picture or video of my brain... for no good reason other than just pure curiosity. Back on topic.... my heart rate and beat went back to normal and I got the go ahead to leave on the 3rd day. I was ready to get the F out, not even gonna lie.

So after my fun vacation in the cardiac unit at the local hospital I had to go visit my thyroid doctor again (Dr. Endocrinologist). They told me that my thyroid was coming out pronto. I opted to do the radioactive iodine because I didn't want a scar 4 months before my wedding and surgery scares me. So I went to the nuclear medicine place and walked on in, sat down in the room in the back and swallowed my RAI (radioactive iodine). I had to be quarantined at home for 3 days since I would be omitting radiation and that shit just isn't safe. So the family and the pets all went bye-bye and I was ALL ALONE, talk about boring. But my 3 days went fine and all was well until about 2 weeks after and I noticed my neck had swelled up tremendously. I looked like a linebacker without a chin. My neck came out to my chin, it was awful. I felt like swallowing was a little more difficult and I could barely move my head from side to side or up & down, it was just incredibly uncomfortable but not painful. I'll share my photos, no matter how unflattering they are. I just want to help out and share my story and if it helps someone who's going through the same ordeal, then my work is done.

This is my PRE radioactive iodine photo. Small, sexy little neck.

2 weeks post RAI. My chin basically melts into my giant neck. My face is swollen, everything is a mess.

2 days after the swelling started. Still a big neck, but not as swollen.

Not much of a change the next day. The area on my neck where my thyroid is started getting super super itchy.

Still swollen but it did go down a teeny tiny bit!
You can see the lower part of my neck is red, it felt like it was radiating heat and it was so itchy. Don't know why that happened but it sure did.

2 months post RAI. My little neck is back. Zero swelling and my goiter is even gone!
If you're having a reaction like I did, you really just have to power through but I promise everything will be FINE!

It took about a week and a half to 2 weeks for the swelling to go completely down. Now I am 2 months (to the day) post-RAI and my thyroid levels are low so I'm off all medication for the next 2 weeks, then I get more blood work done to see if I am becoming Hypothyroid (underactive). Right now I basically have NO thyroid, well I do have a little thyroid but it's not producing hormones like it used to and over time it will stop all together and I will be hypothyroid. So now I just wait and see how much time that is for me, Dr. Endocrinologist thinks that since I had such a severe case of hyperthyroidism that I will become hypothyroid much sooner than later (some cases it can take up to TEN YEARS), it's only been TWO MONTHS for me and I feel like a totally different person. And not in a good way.

So MY current symptoms go a little something like this:

fatigue
weight GAIN - too much weight gain (15 lbs in 3 months. Right before my wedding. FML.)
sadness about the weight gain.. sometimes I cry when I can't fit into my jeans (maybe mild mild mild depression? Lady hormones? Stress? Who knows.)
less of an appetite but I'm not losing any weight goshdamnit!
I am cold all the fucking time
and I think I've become more of a bitch.

So that's that and I feel like I just dumped a crazy ass story and I'm not going to proof read it so if you find grammatical errors and are the kind of person that's like "OMG becky, did you see she put "your" instead of "you're"? What a not-smart person she is." Well... you can S my D cuz I am still not proof reading this shit (there's that bitchiness I mentioned). I will update when I visit Mr. Endocrinologist again and let ya'll know how good life is treatin me! I feel like now is a good time to end this so Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight :)

I'm Engaged :)

2012-03-12T23:14:00.001-07:00

I have been gone way too long and I am so sorry. But life has been busy with the new job, and now I get to add wedding planning to my to-do list!! YAY! We went on a family vacation in February to Sun Valley, Idaho for a little skiing, and I came back with something VERY sparkly!

It's about damn time, I must say. We met in college and started dating early of 2005, took a little time apart for a couple years, got back together, found out we were having a baby, gave birth to our beautiful daughter in 2009 and he asked me to marry him the day after Valentine's day of this year!

Here's how it went down - we were skiing in Sun Valley, and there are 2 major mountains to ski on. Dollar Mountain, which is more for beginners or those people who like doing tricks, and then there's Baldy which is normally too icy for me. Adam wanted to spend a day at Baldy so we took a trip over there and Kinsley and I stayed in the lodge while he snowboarded that day. He came down and decided he wanted to take us to lunch at the restaraunt that is up in the mountain and you have to take a gondola to. So we rode the gondola up, and ate lunch with his brother and his brother's fiance and had a couple bottles of champagne. Lunch was over and it was time to go, but we decided to check out the view on the deck when this cutie decided to give me a little white box....

Adam took the easy way out and didn't get down on one knee because he was holding her while she was holding out the ring, and how can you say no to a face like that?! It was all really simple but that's exactly how I wanted it to be, so it was perfect :)

This is the view of where we got engaged....

Breathtaking!

So, that was the highlight of my trip to Idaho... obviously. But here are a couple of random pics from the trip.

Daddy and Kinsley ice skating!

My lil sweetie on Valentine's Day holding her new pink sock monkey, she loves sock monkeys.

She is such a champ! Look at her go! She didn't do so well on the ice though ;)

I had a blast, and now that I have a wedding to plan I will do my best to share all my ideas on here with everyone.

One more thing, I went to try on wedding dresses the other day, just for fun. We went to TWO places, the first one I found a couple ones I liked, but didn't love. And as I was leaving I told my sister and my best friend that I really really wanted a dress that had a lace top with a fun tulle bottom and buttons in the back.... so we made a trip to David's Bridal and I decided I should call my mom to have her come look at dresses with us. And I tried it on. I found my dress in one day, and only had to go to TWO places!!! It is everything I wanted, lace, tulle, buttons... everything. So my dress is ordered and will be here in 6 weeks!! And here is a preview for all of you.... just don't share this with Adam. duh.

Oh Vera... how I love thee!!!

Life doesn't get much better than this!

Ooops, I did it again!!

2012-01-13T16:31:00.000-08:00

Yeah, you heard me.... HEALTHY!!
I would rate this recipe "difficult" on a scale of easy to difficult, so follow closely.
Here we go....

What you need:

FROZEN banana

Cocoa Powder

Get all your sh*t together then....

PEEL your banana. If it's still super frozen (like mine was) I say just nuke it for like 30 seconds.... maybe doing it in intervals of 10 seconds. It worked for me, so it might work for you.

Take your frozen banana and put it into a blender.

Add 2 tsp. cocoa powder.

BLEND.

Remove from blender and put into a bowl.

Put a spoon, or straw, or fork, or spatula.... or whatever you have nearby, into the bowl.

EAT IT.

Did you get all that?? I know that was confusing so I hope you understood everything.

This crap is super yummy if you're a fan of bananas. I love all fruit, except pears, but I try not to discriminate. Also, this is really good kid food. My little turd nugget gobbled this right up.

Also, you could probably add strawberries and make it like a milkshake but just use all frozen fruit, don't take my word for that because it might not turn out right, it's just an idea. Good luck in all of your endeavors.

This is Bella. She's my cat.

Bella says bye f*ckers, it's time for a nap!!! (and NOOOO, I did not name her after that Twilight bitch, she was born well before those wonderful movies, so I'm not one of those people. Don't worry)

Side note: I don't think Kristen Stewart is a bitch, I do not know her. She's real pretty, sometimes. So good for her.

Strawberry and Banana Chocolate Nachos!!

2012-01-11T20:56:00.000-08:00

This might be the most delicious recipe I have ever found in my life. I found the strawberry nachos on pinterest and decided to mix it up and add bananas and HOLY SH*T this is effing amazing!!!

Ingredients:
Flour Tortilla
Butter - melted
Cinnamon
Sugar
Strawberries (aprox 5, chopped up)
Banana (I used half)
Chocolate Chips
Vegetable Oil

Preheat oven to 350.

While the oven is preheating, add some sugar to your strawberries, and then set them aside. I used 2 packets of splenda and it was plenty. So, you only need a little bit, depending on how sweet you like it.

Do this, and set it aside.

NEXT, get your tortillas out and butter them. Like so...

THEN, get that cinnamon and sugar and cover that baby. My advice - go overboard. Too much is never a bad thing in this scenario.

Cut it up like a pizza.

Toss it on a baking sheet and put it in the oven for about 10 minutes. While your "Nacho chips" are baking, start melting your chocolate. Add a little bit of vegetable oil to make it drizzable.

You're chips should be getting close to done now, so you can go ahead and pull it out... (that's what she said)

Now that my strawberries are nice and sweet I chopped up some bananners and added them into the mix.

This is the easy part. Put your fruit on the chips.

Now you can add the chocolate. Drizzle it EVERYWHERE. The more the merrier, I say.

Now, go grab a fork and about 50 napkins, unbutton your pants, and ENJOY!!

DIPS!!!!

2012-01-07T10:28:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I said I would give you guys some amazing dip recipes a while back and here I am, like 8 million days later finally doing this. We have been sick since Christmas and I just haven't been motivated to do a whole lot, so I apologize. But I'm here now, so don't be sad!!

Oh, and FYI these are all crock pot dips. You can make them in the oven if you prefer, but the way I have the recipes set up is to just dump the food straight into the crock pot and heat it up.

And FYI again, these dips are the brain children of my good friend Angela, so I can't really take credit for any of these but they were SOOOO good that I had to share. I DID assist her in making these dips, so I can take like 1/8 of the credit. If you make it and really like it, just remember to thank me for all of my hard work :) hahahah

THANK YOU ANGELA!!

Let's get this sh*t started shall we?!

#1 - BUFFALO CHICKEN DIP!!

Oooooh.... sounds so yummy doesn't it!?

Ingredients:
3 boneless chicken breasts, cooked and shredded
1 8 oz. cream cheese
1 cup of ranch dressing
1 cup hot sauce (we prefer Frank's Red Hot Sauce)
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Dump it all into a crock pot on either HIGH or about 400 until it gets nice and hot. Make sure to stir every so often. When it's all done, set it on a low temp to keep warm.

Soooo.... since I am such a crappy blogger, I took pictures of all the food BEFORE it started cooking and then forgot to take the AFTER pictures And those are the most important ones... I am being a total failure, I really need to get my sh*t together! But I got too hungry and forgot, then started drinking champagne. Ooopsy! So, all of my AFTER photos have been borrowed from www.allrecipes.com which, by the way, is one of my absolute most favorite places to find recipes ever. So... THANK YOU allrecipes.com :)

I would say tortilla chips are the best for dipping in this sauce. You can try whatever the heck you want, but that's what you should use. Because I said so.

#2 - 3-2-1 DIP!

So, the name of the dip differs from person to person. I have heard 3-2-1 and white trash dip, I am sure there are a bazillion other names but we'll go with 3-2-1 here.

Ingredients:
3 - 8 oz. blocks of cream cheese
2 - 10 oz. cans of rotel
1 lb of sausage, cooked

Do you see where the 3-2-1 comes from now? Super easy. So dump all of your ingredients into your crock pot and cook til it gets warm. Doesn't take a genius to figure this out.

BEFORE

AFTER (thanks to allrecipes.com)

Serve with tortilla chips also. Or Frito Scoops. Same difference.

#3 - PIZZA DIP

Disclaimer: This dip is AMAZING. Make sure to make a crap-ton of it. You might be sorry you didn't.

Ingredients:
1 - 14 oz. jar of pizza sauce
2 cups of shredded mozzarella cheese
1 - 8 oz. block of cream cheese
2 - 6 oz. packages of diced pepperoni

Now, with this dip you can get as wild as you want. You can add black olives, onions, peppers, bacon, Italian sausage, ham, pineapple.... pretty much ANYTHING your heart desires can go into this dip. We kept it simple with just pepperoni because, well... who doesn't love pepperoni? And it was a hit.

BEFORE

AFTER (allrecipes.com - hence the vegetables in the dip, NOT MINE!!) yuck.

So, with this dip we bought a dough for thin crust pizza, and just baked it with nothing on top and used it to dip. It was DELISH! Now, you can use garlic bread, Italian bread, bruschetta, pita bread.... it doesn't really matter. Use all of them for all I care.

Now, remember these next time you throw a party or small get together, and if you have one of these....

... you can make all 3 dips at one time! Holy balls, it is amazing. Thanks for coming back and reading this after I have been gone for so long. My bad. I will do my best to not make you wait that long ever again. Hope you all had a fantastic New Years and may this year bring you everything you have ever wanted and more. Peace out!!

Special thanks to Dip Master Angela for helping make all of these dips, couldn't have done it without you!!!

Merry Christmas!!

2011-12-22T14:52:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! From my crazy child to you! Hope you all enjoy her lovely singing. This kid absolutely LOVES being video taped and then watching herself, she is such a ham for the camera too. Just wait for the end to see what I'm talkin about. Enjoy!! :)

Chickity China the Chinese Chicken!

2011-12-16T23:02:00.000-08:00

Hey bitches! Alrighty, let's just go ahead and get things started. I'm here to give you yet ANOTHER amazing recipe of mine.... well it's not really mine I found how to make it online and decided to tweak it to the way I like it. Sooooo... if you love General Tso's Chicken, then you are in LUCK because I have an amazing recipe you can make at home that tastes amazing! I don't want to waste your time with this boring crap so let's get right to it...

WHAT YOU NEED:
2 lbs. boneless chicken breasts, cut into chunks
1 cup green onion, diced
vegetable oil - approx 2 cups to fry the chicken, and 1tbsp to cook the green onion
(I'm not really sure how much you will need to fry the chicken, so I just made that up. But you will want enough to cover about half the chicken as it is cooking in the pan. So 1 cup.... maybe 3... I'm not sure. I just dumped a bunch into my pan and thought it looked good!)

Cornstarch Mixture (the "breading")
1 cup cornstarch
1 egg, beaten
1/4 cup soy sauce

Sauce:

1/2 cup cornstarch

1/4 cup water

1 1/2 teaspoons fresh garlic , minced

3/4 cup sugar

1/2 cup soy sauce

1/4 cup white vinegar

1/4 cup sherry wine or 1/4 cup white wine

14.5 ounces chicken broth (a can)

First thing I like to do is cut up the green onion and set it aside.

Go Cats! :)

Chop to this size. Save this for later. It's just easier to get all of your ingredients ready for when you will need them later!

Cut yo' chicken up.

I'd say these are about 1 inch cubes... maybe bigger, maybe smaller. I don't have a damn ruler so I couldn't tell ya exactly how big they are.

Preheat your oil to 350 degrees... I check the temp with a meat thermometer. I don't know if that's the best, but it is all I have so that's what I go with.

While your oil is heating, it's time to prepare the sauce. Get all your sauce ingredients and dump them into a Tupperware container. Then shake, shake, shake senora, shake your body line. Shake, shake, shake senora, shake it all the time!! Sorry... got distracted and now I have that song stuck in my head. But shake that sauce like it's a cranky baby. (hehe JUST KIDDING, you CAN'T do that to babies... or so I'm told.)

ooh, it looks so yummy! It will smell strongly of vinegar, and that is how it's supposed to be. So don't mess with it.

It will settle while you're cooking your other crap, but it's cool. Just shake the hell out of it again when you're ready for it.

Now, for the cornstarch mixture that you will be bathing your chicken nuggets in. Beat the egg first, then add in the soy sauce, then the cornstarch. It's going to be SUPER thick, but that's how it should be. If it starts getting chunky, add some more soy sauce. I also suggest NOT packing your cornstarch because that will give you the chunky batter that you DON'T want. Which I made the mistake of doing, I just wanted this picture to look pretty. OOPS!

You need these things.

It should look like this, but it will be difficult to stir. It's appearance is deceiving.

OK, now that EVERYTHING is ready, it's time to start cooking. Take your chicken chunks and dunk them into the batter, then plop them into the oil.... or place them in gently if you don't want oil splashing about and burning your beautiful hands.

kinda looks like peanut butter. yummy!

Here's how your chicken should look when it's done frying. Make sure you cooked them thoroughly, don't want that nasty salmonella.

I only cook about 7-8 pieces at a time to keep the temp of the oil at 350, and then place them in a bowl lined with paper towels while I do the next batch. This part is time consuming, but you have to do it. Sorry!

Now that you have your chicken cooked, it's time to make the sauce! I like to use a pot, the kind I make spaghetti noodles in, and I add about a tbsp. of vegetable oil and put the green onions in there and let them cook for about 30 seconds then I make sure my sauce is all shaken up and dump it into the pot.

Like so.

Be sure to stir this continuously because it will start to thicken and you don't want anything burning.

It is like magic!!

Now you can throw your cooked chicken right into this pot, stir it all up and serve it! By this point you are probably going to be drooling over the chicken, just make sure none of your drool gets into the oil because that sh*t will spit right back. And it won't feel good.

Mix it in REAL good!

So, you can serve this with rice, or lo mein, or whatever Asian/Asian-American side dish you can come up with. My lazy ass went with NO side dish. I don't like rice anyway, so I didn't bother making it.

Looks soooooooo good!!

For those of you who prefer it to be spicy, you can add whole peppers to the sauce, or some crushed red pepper for a little zing! But since I currently do not own any crushed red pepper, I went without it. I can never remember to buy it when I'm at the grocery store, I have big problems when I go grocery shopping. I'm lucky if I make it to the store with my list, if I even have one. I have gone without ketchup for over a week and I LOOOOOOVE ketchup. I finally made an effort to remember ketchup, and lucky for me I actually came home from the store with some today. Yipee! And I'm off topic again. So... I hope I didn't leave anything important out of this recipe, it's 1:00am and we just got back from a movie so I'm kinda sleepy but figured I would get this done while I had the recipe fresh in my brain. ENJOY!!!!!

Oh! and Happy Holidays everyone! :)