my cloth of silk

The statistics of Rape

2012-12-19T03:25:00.000-08:00

The word has such hideous connotations, that many of us would flinch at a mere utterance of it. I never thought I would write an article with that title. I don't like it, it makes me shudder to have it on my otherwise happy blog. The recent incident (http://goo.gl/UZcms) has outraged the nation. Everyone wants to fix this one problem. I do too.

What is this problem that we all want to fix? Six of them raped her one by one, and then inserted a long iron rod in her vagina that damaged her intestines permanently, and then threw her from their running bus on the Mahipalpur flyover, that thousands of us cross everyday. She lied there on the road, naked, at around midnight in the Delhi chill, covered only by a pool of blood.

I don't understand this problem. What makes anyone get down to such an animalistic level? The National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) of India reported 10,068 rape cases in 1990 which increased to more than 21,000 in 2008. I thought India has progressed dramatically in the last 20 years. We have more educated people than we ever had. Evidently, we have more gory people than we have ever had, as well.

I looked around on the internet for articles, statistics and reports of Rape in India and the world. The statistics are very debatable. A significant percentage of Rape cases don't even get reported for various reasons all over the world. There is a significant percentage of false cases as well. We can't exactly measure the problem at hand, but the statistics definitely hint at certain trends that cannot be denied.

A lot of the discussion on blogs and forums today is coming to - it is the orthodox and oppressive eastern culture that encourages more cases of rape and we must encourage a more open culture like in the west. A UNODC report (http://goo.gl/BvfzW) however suggests something else. If we look at the number of reported cases of Rape per 100,000 of population...

There is not a single eastern country in the top 20
The developed countries like UK and US stand at number 5 and 10 respectively with close to 30 rape reports per 100,000 of population.
India stands at number 50 with 1.8 rape reports per 100,000 of population.

Another research (http://goo.gl/nTyG3) indicates that alcohol is involved in 71% of all rape cases. In 49% of cases both the victim and the perpetrator had been drinking.

If there is a certain reason for rape, lets call it "x" (algebra, remember?) - the developed countries have 15 times more "x" than India. The Caribbean, Americas and Europe have far more "x" than the eastern countries. And in the last 20 years, India has managed to double its "x".

I think there are some fantastic things that we need to learn from the west. And at the same time, there are some fantastic things in the eastern culture that we must honor, learn and live by. The eastern culture in its little rituals and characteristics, teaches a tremendous reverence for women, among other things. Guruji points out that the three most important departments of Finance, Education and Defense are handled by three women - Lakshmi, Saraswati and Durga. The ultimate power that runs the world is feminine, we pray to her as the mother divine. Sex is not a taboo, neither is it the most important thing to do in life.

I think this is largely a case of education. The situation in India is bad. It would have been worse, if we did not have our value system and the inherent spirituality in our culture. The need of the hour is to expand our horizons with our roots intact. And teach the same to our children.

Jai Gurudev

Learning from a Snow Leopard - Part 1

2012-11-21T01:56:00.003-08:00

There are places on this planet where you just wouldn't hear the honking, nagging, chattering and clunking that is so much a part and parcel of our lives. There are no people, no computers or mobile phones, no electric poles, no houses or buildings and no roads. There is snow, some amazing views of the mountain, uncomfortably cold wind, invigorating silence and not so easily apparent but very much existing... wild life! This is nature, untouched by its intelligent manifestations.

This is a random pic of Dodital from the Interent. I think I have one with me in it, but will need to fish for it in the dusty unvisited undergrounds of my home.

I had a first hand experience when I made a couple of treks into the Himalayas with the college Adventure Club. Every college trip has its stories. The most famous one from our trek to Dodi Taal in 2003 was about a Snow Leopard. I didn't see one, no one did. But there were signs all around and we were scared.

Ten years and twenty two kilos down the line, being married and with a kid... my best shot at adventure off late has been watching a Snow Leopard on You Tube. It wasn't thrilling, but then I learned something.

A snow leopard is a stunning wild animal with some breath taking skills. She is fast and ferocious, like every other leopard is. And she tops it up with her ability to maneuver through the precarious mountain terrains. She can climb very steep, almost straight, slopes and descend down them with equal poise. She can even take a vertical U turn on these slopes.

I was watching this snow leopard in a documentary film, amazed at her awesomeness when something irritated the awesomeness like a spec of dust in the eye.

Q&A 1

2012-11-05T10:03:00.001-08:00

I have been thinking about doing this for a long time, finally got down to actually doing it!!:) I will be publishing some of the QnA that I have been doing on email. So, I am picking up Questions and Answers that are generic and would hopefully help more people! The names and references have obviously been removed. I think 4 or 5 questions per post would be enough. Though, this one has got a little longer than I would like it to be. I have taken the effort to put some clip-art in between, to make it look nice and more readable maybe, no offence meant to anyone :)

Question
I had one question bhaiya, sometimes my energy suddenly goes down due to some event in daily life, even if I am aware of it, my energy doesn't return, I really want to tackle this. I am doing my kriya daily but how can I get my energy back instantaneously ?
Answer
Your feverishness to get out of a situation pushes you deeper into your situation. Please know that life will have all its shades, you do not be averse to any.

Allow yourself to be in low energy, to be sad, to be not so happy once in a while. One, it helps you appreciate the good times and the good people. Two, it brings in the peace required to tackle the situation at hand. And three, if you never go through all of these we will have to put Your photo in our courses ;)

An event doesn't have the power to pull your energy down. It is you who gives the power and the importance to the event! Take up a bigger cause in life, get involved in some seva project and you would realize that these little events would simply cease to bother you.

And as you keep doing your sadhana, seva and satsang, you will find that you are falling less and less into the state of low energy; and when you do fall, you are are able to come out of it faster and faster! :)

Question
Hi Bhaiya,
Please help. I had a crush on my PM ever since I saw him. But never did anything about it. Hardly talked to him. But lately, we have been talking work related stuff. It was all ok…friendly... and today he tells me that he has suddenly started admiring me since couple of weeks and that there is some magic! Now, one hand I felt good.. because I had a crush on him and seems like he likes me too. But sad, because he is married with 2 kids (looks young) - which is also why I never said anything , never thought much about all this. But knowing that he is married and all, I still can’t help but feel happy about the fact that he is interested. Guess my crush is not over. What should I do? What can I do… I am being desperate I know.
Answer
Its okay if you are feeling happy about his interest in you, don't fight your feelings too much.

But then, please don't act out of your feelings either. You already know this whole thing is a big filthy mess, and let me tell you that it has the potential to butcher your life with a cruelty that you cannot imagine. The feelings are temporary. People get into such relationships, and later they are left with only whining and howling and a lot of hurt. And they don't even know why they got into such a thing in the first place. You better stay out of it.

Find yourself a guy whose single, there are plenty around! Attend a satsang today. You will be fine!

Question

Hi Bhaiyya,

I was in your last AOL Yes!+ batch. The Yes!+ Upgrade was all throughout a life changing experience... now nothing seems impossible to me... I feel a sudden affection towards all class of people. But during the past few weeks I have developed a botheration towards one field and that is my country... Where ever I go I tell people when they are wrong and how it makes a difference to the country but all i get is 'egoistic retaliation' .... How can I bring change to my motherland ?

Answer

You have to be skillful in telling people what they must do. If your presentation is not appropriate, you would only earn their scorn. Guruji says "achhe bano, lekin kachhe mat bano" :)

The best way is to bring them on to an Art of Living course. Everyone has a sense of social responsibility but it gets suppressed in the everyday stretch and stress. When the stress leaves the system, everyone automatically becomes more sensitive and responsible in life :)

On a more general note, if you want people to listen to you...

1. You have to qualify yourself, so they listen to you. In other words they have to perceive you as someone who knows better than them. Otherwise, why would they listen ?

2. You have to speak with a friendly attitude and not a fatherly attitude.

3. You have to speak with skill, different people need to be told differently.

4. You need to realize, that whether they listen to your or they dont... it doesn't matter so much! ;)

Question
Hello sir
I am one of your students from the Yes!+ Hinjewadi batch. Sir, before I joined this course I had completely lost my confidence . I used to be pretty good in academics, but suddenly because of what happened to me, I lost my confidence to the extent that I couldnt give my engineering exams - I lost a year. I am still undergoing a treatment with some eminent psychologists but this course has helped me a lot! Sir my question is - I have a bad habit, and whenever I go to a temple I swear by god that I'll stop all my bad habits. I try my best sir, and I do stop; but after a span of a month or so I fall back into my old habits! And then I again carry out the same procedure of going to the temple and swearing by god. And every time I get frightened that I have broken my swear and now something wrong will happen to me. I scold myself endlessly, and I can't sleep for days. I wanted to consult you regarding this...
Answer
Please don't worry, God is a generous fellow, he will not punish you even if you break your promise. The only thing that will punish you in the long run is your bad habit itself.

Here are a few things that will help you get rid of your bad habit:
1. Please hang out more and more with good people, and the bad habit will leave you by itself. Why don't you start hanging out with the Yes!+ Team? Call Parul, ask her to take you along for the ongoing Yes!+ Course!
2. Please regularly attend any good Art of Living Satsang's happening in Pune.
3. Indulge in some creative work, and keep yourself very busy in it!
4. When you have a desire to indulge in your bad habit, take a cold water bath!!

You will be free from your bad habit effortlessly!

jai gurudeva

Ramayana

2012-10-25T10:13:00.001-07:00

One ferocious man with ten heads falls in love with a pretty woman. It wouldn't have been much of a trouble, but the pretty woman happens to be married. And married to a heroic man! But the heroism couldn't quite stand its mettle, and the ferocious man manages to steal the lady in concern to his palace, very neatly.

As the story unfolds, some very interesting characters of all shapes, sizes, cast, creed and breed reveal themselves. And this motley of varied living creatures eventually come to the rescue of the beleaguered husband. Amongst others, there are two who play a very significant role in this epic drama. First, there is the step brother of the heroic man, and the second is a great monkey man. The step brother is actually an incarnation of the Shesh Naaga - the thousand headed lord of the snakes, and the monkey man is somehow the son of - none other than - the Wind!

A series of twists and turns, that would put to shame a drama concoction of twenty one Bollywood films put together, follow next. And finally with the help of his men, monkeys, bears and gods; the heroic man wins over the ferocious man and gets his wife back!

This is a story from the Iti-haasa (it happened thus) and a really intriguing one at that. But then, why hold it sacred ?

For thousands of years, the story has been passed on from one generation to another and revered by most in each generation. Some have accepted the reverence with faith and without question. And for these people, the story and its people have been staunch pillars of their lives. These have been the innocent people who have inhabited the planet. Some have questioned the story and its sacredness, but without a spirit of enquiry, and without an effort to know. These are the foolish people who have inhabited the planet. Some have taken a path of quest but have found nothing that could satiate their desire to know. These have been the unlucky people who have inhabited the planet. And then there have been some who have simply known the mystique behind the story, these are the enlightened beings who have inhabited the planet. Lastly, there are some who have found a Satguru who has unravelled the mystery to them. These are the lucky people who have inhabited the planet. And I happen to be one of them!!

So, from what Guruji has revealed to us, we reach to an english word - Radiance. And the word Radiance finds its roots in the Sanskrit word Ra. Ra means Radiance. And Ma means Me. Rama means the radiance within me. Rama is our heroic man. Sita - his wife, represents the mind. The ferocious man - Ravana is the ego. Sita has a silly desire to get hold of a certain deer, and Ravana exploits this to trap her and take her away from Rama. The desires coupled with ego take the mind away from the radiance within. A mind not in touch with the self - the radiance within, can be nothing but miserable.

Now step in Lakshman - the step brother and Hanuman - the great monkey man. And together with Rama, they defeat Ravana and get Sita back. A snake symbolizes awareness. Shesha Naga's re-incarnation - Lakshman represents awareness. The son of the wind - Hanuman represents the breath. Breath, coupled with awareness brings the mind back to its source - to the radiance within. And they live happily every after! (well, not really, but I guess this is long enough already and we can leave the rest for a possible sequel ;) )

jai gurudeva

The Bawa'isms

2012-09-19T04:36:00.000-07:00

Bawa is perhaps the most prolific, quick-witted, spontaneous, brilliant and wisest of the teachers that have walked on this planet. I have been lucky enough to be able to spend some time with him, and to be on at least all the courses that he has taught in Pune, in the last 5 or 6 years. His answers have the audience in splits, and leave them with a deep sense of realization at the same time.

Here are a few of his answers and quotes that I can think of immediately... I will keep adding more as and when I remember them. The quotes are as I remember them, and may not be verbatim. If you can think of more, please do add them in the comments, and I will include them in the post.

Question: What is the difference between happiness and peace ?
Bawa: If you are out shopping and you are desperate to pee, and then after a lot of searching you see a toilet door - that is happiness. After you step inside and finish your business - that is peace!

Question: Are you against marriage ?

Bawa: I am only against my marriage!

Bawa (on why he chose to be an Art of Living teacher): I thought it was better to teach people meditation and make them happy rather than teach them mathematics and make them miserable! (Bawa is a M.Sc in Mathematics from IIT Mumbai)

Question(at the Visa office) : Tell me in one line what the Art of Living course is all about ?

Bawa: The Art of Living course helps people feel on Monday mornings what they usually feel on Friday evenings! (10 years US visa granted, on a 6 months application!)

Question: How do you know if the life partner you have chosen for yourself is the right one ?

Bawa: If that question doesn't come, then you have found your partner!

Question : How do you get up early in the morning ?

Bawa: I generally open my eyes!

Bawa (starting a DSN course) : Do you know what is the mantra to complete your DSN successfully ?
Participants: No...
Bawa: The mantra is 'Yes Bawa'.

Question : Are there any problems for youth on the path of spirituality ? If so, how many ?

Bawa: Parents, and usually two!

Question (from a boy) : Is it okay if I sleep with a girl ?

Bawa: Yes, if you sleep its alright. If you are awake then there is a problem...

(contributed by Manjunath :))

The Ultimate Truth

2012-09-07T03:11:00.001-07:00

A drop of sweat rolled on to Vikrams left eye, and both his eyes closed for a tiny moment. He could feel his heart thumping against his chest. His breath was fast and heavy. His undaunting legs were speeding swiftly across the hardened dry turf. Every time his running shoes pressed on the ground, there was a burning sensation under the sole of his feet. And in spite of that, his legs pushed the ground harder each time. To someone looking from outside, Vikram was almost flying!

The sweat trickled down his eye, by the side of his nose. His eyes opened. The white finish line was now visible! He felt a surge of excitement in every cell of his body. All the hard work was finally paying off. Accomplishment, achievement, victory... well deserved, he thought. Vikram was running faster than ever before, leaving behind everyone else. He was already a champion. And the champion ran with all he had. His body was throbbing, and his mind pictured taking the trophy home to Radha!

Just about then, there was a slight but sudden loosening down on his left foot. His eye balls rolled down and in a quick flash he noticed that a shoe lace had opened up. His sight drifted back to the finish line, it was a matter of another hundred meters. Another few quick glances down, the laces had unfurled further and were dancing around and under his shoes. In the same moment, he heard a rough breathing right behind him. His heart swelled up! He couldn't get beaten in this race.

Vikrams world swapped left and right as the back of his head whopped on the ground, and his back smacked down even harder! He felt flames of heat ooze out of his skin, as he lay on the ground, furiously catching his breath. The white line though, had been left behind. Vikram was a Champion!

Next morning, I saw him being taken on the shoulders by a huge crowd. They were singing to him, the ultimate truth... 'raam naam satya hai, raam naam satya hai... '

Achieving your dreams...

2012-09-04T02:45:00.000-07:00

Dream is not what you see when you sleep, dream is something that doesn't let you sleep. This quote, supposedly by Dr APJ Abdul Kalam, one of the most charming Presidents that India has had, has been doing the rounds on Facebook and Twitter. And quite inspirational, I must say. But then if a dream doesn't let someone relax or sleep - they would, in a greater likelihood, fall short of achieving their dream.

Motivational speakers talk of passion. I have seen people with killer passion, and I have seen them fail miserably. If you haven't had some good sleep, you cannot wake up the next day and work with your efficiency and effectivity at its peak for too long. Outer dynamism and inner peace, have to go hand in hand. There is no alternative.

Guruji explains - if you have to go from Delhi to Pune - you have to buy the ticket, and then load your luggage, and then seat yourself. And then, you have to stop thinking about it, and enjoy the journey. Passion has its place, it gets you started. But then you cannot walk to your goal loaded with passion in your head. You have to drop it. You have to find the balance.

When the mind is anxious, or doing some or the other planning all the time, or in the habit of driving me to some or the activity every minute - it hampers my creativity, I am not my natural self (sometimes I may not realize it though), and I simply lack the punch... the impact... on people and situations. Most great ideas happen to people when their bare bums are fixed on the royal seat. When the mind is at peace, when it has nothing to do and nowhere to go, we are at our best.

How to find balance ?

Everyday... exercise, do Sudarshan Kriya, and meditate.
When you are very immersed in something, take a break and do something completely irrelevant.
Read some knowledge. Not your trigonometry, or accounts, or medicine or programming books. Take out sometime, and learn about the Self. 'Celebrating Silence' is a good book to start with. My favorite is 'Ashtavakra Gita'. It's not really suited for the beginners though.
If you still find yourself stuck, take a pillow and go to sleep. The world will not come to an end.

Jai Gurudeva

Disclaimer: The Guruji quotes are not verbatim.

Why Blog ?

2012-08-05T07:13:00.000-07:00

It's the age of micro blogging. The Facebooks and the Twitters reign supreme. The world bows down to the qwerty keyboards and the touch keys on their cell phones. Everyone, from an infant to an elderly, from the bubbling teenager to the departed being, from the cobbler to the multi brand corporate, is alive and kicking on the social network. Yet, what have we gained out of the hours spent trying to say more in less words? And the days spent looking at stuff that never mattered? And all the knowledge we have acquired about who loves Maggi and who can finally crap after 2 days of constipation? And the birthday wishes, that can come to us 5 times a year if we just keep updating the birth date on our profiles?

What, have we gained?

To restore sense and sanity, I must return. To save the endangered Blogger, I must return. It's not going to be easy. It never was. Good blogs are rarely consistent. But, the Blogger must thrive, shoulder to shoulder with the Facebooks and the Twitters. And, this post marks a new beginning. The n'th attempt. This time, with a new blog, and a new thinking.

Jai Gurudev