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Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

I love this…

I even wrote a small program to encript (lol) my emails.

You can get it here.

The password is “virus” without quote. Don’t worry, its just a habit of picking a password, its clean

Currently its only accept text file.

It’s been ages since I got the time to write another love-post for you. One reason for that is because of your lack of appearance or your lack of press release.

I need you to publish another magnanimous announcement… or a devastating expert-opinion on matters that most of people care about… Like the discovery of another verse in our national anthem.

But I guess your involvement in Gaby’s song, Ahmad’s case, and most recently, Marcella’s case should add up to my expectation.

I do wonder though in Ahmad’s case, you both despise blogger, why not team up? I’ll bet you’ll make a solid team with him as your sidekick against an army of blogger and technically literate people. Imagine your cunning way of manipulating simple trick as if its matter, your shameless heart when making a press release, your ability to endure the pain of making debilitating and humiliating boast, all of those combined with Ahmad’s bark, which was way louder than his bite, and Ahmad’s tendency to pick a fight with everyone and everything.

I’m sure you’ll lead the team to triumph if you guys’ team up… So I really don’t understand why you choose to annihilate him… oh wait… I remember… You’ll cockiness will soon collide with his… as both of you will bite each other over who is the Photoshop expert.

Then go ahead uncle… get him to jail… let him make his next album behind the walls… a bitch slap from a senior inmate would be a panacea for his big headed ignorant of your greatness. I’m all behind you on this one.

Nowadays, a very annoying crapware try to disguise itself as an antivirus or antispyware. Often goes by the name XP Antivirus 2008 or XP Antispyware 2008.

As far as I know, this thing doesn’t spread through USB or network sharing. Usually it’s the wrong click at the wrong website with the wrong browser (use FireFox :))

If you are infected by it, in some variance, it wills annoyingly popup a virus warning that some terrifying gangs of monstrous program have infected your computer. The popup will showup at almost any click, especially in you open IE or explorer.

The warning demand either you install the software to scan your computer, or scan your computer with the magically installed antivirus that you have no recollection of installing.

If it wants you to install the bogus program, it means that it does not have you yet. It already installed some kind of mini program though. In my case (in most of my cases), the culprit is a bogus dll file injected to explorer, or other system file.

If its already installed, just remove the program using add remove (it tries to disguise itself as a legitimate application, so it usually easy to remove). Or delete it the Neanderthals way, following the step in my previous post. Then follow through to get rid of the rest.

This dll file could be very tricky to delete. My previous walkthrough couldn’t catch it with Autoruns and ProcessXP. Even if you know what the culprit is, deleting it could be tricky.

Most credible antivirus has already recognized this program. I recommend you update your AV.

Nevertheless, if your AV did not recognize it, here is something worth trying.

(I cannot stress this enough, BACKUP your files prior to following my walkthrough)

Part One

Run ProcessXP and Autorun (grab the program from my previous post). Search for a suspicious process in ProcessXP (I doubt you will find it though). Run though the list of things in my previous post. Then run Autorun, search for the suspected entries, run to the list of things I have mentioned in my previous post.

If you do find suspicious dll hooked into something, don’t just delete it. It might be a legitimate dll needed by your OS. You’ll screw up your system that way.

If you can’t find anything, skip to part two.

Instead, try uncheck the entry, and press F5 (refresh). Find that entry, and see whether your change remains. If it has become checked again, you have certainly found a malicious entry (my category for a legitimate entry is that it will let you disable them).

After you’ve found the dll, the tricky part kick in.

You cannot simply delete it because it still hooked into a process that still running. You also cannot simply kill the process because it’s most likely hooked to an important system. Trying to kill winlogon.exe can get you kicked out of windows.

Try renaming it instead.

Then refresh Autoruns again, search for the entry. If it shows file not found, you win. If it not, try renaming it through Unlocker (see my previous post). If that fail, try using NTFS for DOS (download it here). Make sure the dll is neither system file or hidden. Run “cmd attrib filedir:/filepath/filename.fileextension –s –h –r “ from run or command prompt to make sure itss not hidden. Then try NTFS DOS. Go to the directory, and kill it from there (use the “del filename” command).

If you don’t have Floppy drive, you’ll have to be creative, use Linux live CD (my personal choice was Ubuntu or Puppy). It won’t mess with your windows. Delete it from there.

If you succeeded in deleting it, reboot and pray. Keep a copy of your OS and driver near you, it might come in handy.

Most hooked dll does not have the capacity to multiply itself.

If all goes well and the warning stop, congratulation.

Part Two

Try Rootkit Unhooker. This program can be useful to catch file’s hidden beyond windows capability to see it. Of course, NTFS for DOS and Linux can see it as well, but you’ll have no trace of which dll is the culprit.

I usually go straight to Code Hooks Detector. Highlighted entry show a hooked dll. In this case it was a legal dll from MS Office (I admit, I rely heavily on MS spell checker :p).

Rootkit Unhooker

If you find the file that look suspicious, right click and copy the file to a safe place (you’re going to delete it, make sure you can roll back the operation in case anything go wrong and the file actually needed by your OS). Right click and wipe the file afterward.

Scan again and see if you get rid of it.

After that run Autorun and make sure it leave no traces in registry.

AGAIN, BACKUP YOUR REGISTRY PRIOR TO CHANGE

If all goes well, restart and pray. Keep your OS, driver, NTFS DOS and Linux near you in case of emergency.

If somehow you fail to restart, boot from NTFS DOS or Linux, and restore the copied dll earlier. That should fix the thing.

Part Three

This is the ugliest part :p

Worst case scenario, you’ll need to reinstall or clean install your windows. Don’t worry about repairing / reinstalling your windows. Although it gives you warning that your document and account will be deleted, it actually not. Some of the program even work although it was not registered at start menu or installed program. Just make sure you didn’t format your HD though.

All virus guaranteed won’t run at your first execute of clean install environment, as long as you’re carefull with autorun.inf trap in your root drive. But I guess this make my writing useless since you’ll most probably know this already…

Sory to waste your time… hahaha

If you still getting that fake Virus alert wallpaper, you can just change your wallpaper.

If you’re not already aware of, you renewed my trust in democracy.

For this past 2 years this election have captivated me. With all the ugliness, as well as the greatness. You have achieved what I’ll never thought possible in my lifetime.

And I’m not just talking about color.

Tear’s have been flowing from my eyes, and I’m a world apart from Amerika.

Again… congratulation.

Is it just me or something is wrong.

It seems like excel steal every smallest digit starting from the 16^th.

Try putting 9999999999999999 to a number formatted cell.

Artalyta and Urip Conversation in Prison

This is a couple of days late, nevertheless, it still funny.

This is the latest ringtone from Artalyta. I got the source from youtube uploaded by tvku1000. This time she tries to orchestrate Urip’s arrest and create a background on the bribe money.

This is unusual, but the record I got is actually longer than the one in the transcript.

I’ll try to get the full transcript later. This one I snatch from detiknews.

U (Urip): Halo
A (Artalyta): Pak Guru
U: Iya, Bu Guru

A: Jadi gini ya, intinya besok itu sesuai dengan keterangan beliau-beliau sama yang itu yang kemarin, itukan beliau sudah membantu Anda dengan dia mengatakan dari itu awal yang kesatu, kedua, ketiga, itu tidak ada indikasi.
U: He eh, he eh.

A: Jadi besok, seperti begitu saja. Seperti keterangan yang itu, yang Bapak dua itu, kan dibaca di-BAP saya. Itu bagus.
U: He eh.

A: Intinya kita tetap konsisten dengan jumlah itu lho. Pokoknya perbengkelan yang sudah ada, kan. Pokoknya perbengkelan. Sudah adakan? Ininya apa?
U: Tapi kan sudah saya kasihkan itu.

A: Tapi ininya, proposal bengkelnya.
U: O ya ya.

A: Jadi itu bengkel kan juga logis itu. Itu kan dulu ada tanah di situ. Minta inilah gitu. Nanti pasti ditanyain. Dari mana saudara keteranganya. Nanti saya bilang, ya sudah cukup, begitu memang ceritanya.

I know people hate those cat in rapidshare. Sadly, its the only file upload site that’s not blocked from my office :p

Download it here.

Enjoy

A letter from West Africa arrive to my yahoo inbox on Friday, 18 July 2008.

Hello Dear Chosen one,

Please excuse me for all the inconveniences my mail could cause you. I saw your profile and have the interest to contact you. Please even if we never knew before, I believe firmly that on the basis of the right of humanitarian assistance that a real confidence can arise from our communication and also a real partnership between us.

I am Miss Crystal Konan, the legitimate daughter of the director of cocoa exporting office here murdered by the rebel’s here because of the political crisis going on here since four years ago.

My father had deposited a consignment with a security company here containing the sum of $9.000, 000 USD (Nine million dollars USD) to allow him to conceive a project of investment at the end of his mandate here.

Regrettably the fate decided on it otherwise.

Today my major concern is to move out this sum outside here. Given that I am the only child and I have seriously suffered from the riggings and the harassments on behalf of the political opponents of my Father.

It is in this prospect that I contact you to please help me to move this heritage from the security company to your country.

Because of the political war and the hostilities in this country I seriously wish to leave from here and live the rest of my life in a more peaceful and politically more stable and quiet country. It is what justifies this demand.

I shall voluntarily agree on a good and appropriate percentage of this money as your compensation for your assistant as for what precedes.

I would like to count on your human, virtuous and professional qualities.
I look forward to receive your urgent responds.
Thanks for your care.

Yours sincerely
Miss Konan Crystal

Abidjan, Cote d’Ivoire
West Africa

My Reply

Dear Miss Konan Crystal

Please inform me further how I can assist you.

But please bear in mind, your money will be subjected to my country’s law. For nine million USD, the tax is roughly 30%, so that 2.700.000 USD.

Transferring this much amount of money will also involved some bribery to local official that will take around 10% of your total 9 million. Yes, without extracting the two point seven million you have to pay for taxes.  And yes, in my country you have to bribe for almost anything, even for your driver license.

You would also need security. Having millions of dollar in my country is certainly going to draw some attention. You will have to bribe some mobs and warlord roughly around 8.230.050.000 IDR or around 900.000 USD.

There’s a Komisi Pemberantasan Korupsi (an anti corruption assembly) that you’ll want off your back. Now, this group is pretty though. And there are many people that already nailed by this group. This group is pretty hard to bribe and it will involved a lot of official to nail KPK. You will need roughly 16.460.100.000 IDR or around 1.800.000 USD to get through the justice department, police department, house legislative, and then probably you can nail KPK. I really don’t want trouble with them, so if you don’t agree with this, the deal is off.

I should also inform you that currently I have a debt of 23.775.700.000 IDR due to a failed business, gambling problem, and bad investment. There some people who, if they smell money remotely attached to my name, would claim my debt.

Last thing, I’m currently penniless, so I’m hoping you will be kind enough to pay me for all this trouble 100.000 USD in advance.

Thank You

Sincerely Miniminded Mindcrap

Poor miss Konan…

I sincerely hoped the best for her (and my wallet).

If she agree with all my term above, I will buy PS3, tons of games, and donate the rest to those who need it.

But I’m sure miss Konan would be alright even if she doesn’t agree to work with me, since I’m not the only chosen one.

The Secret Curse of Uncle Roy Suryo II (Max Moein)

This story is fictional. Person names, if identical to real life character, are purely accidental. All events similarities with real world events described in this fairy tale, is unintentional. If any of the character described in this tales seems familiar, it’s your mind playing trick on you. The author does not intentionally wish discredit or make a character assassination against any person, there’s more then hundreds of thousand other blogger will do that happily. After all, the author doesn’t want to get sued for misquoting… and hacking… whatever he means by that.

And the story continues.

One week later.

Uncle Roy^TM, still feeling sour from defeat, opened his swollen eyes, and quickly realized that 7 days has gone by, without a single press release, short message, email, ANYTHING. Surprised at how fragile he has become.

This is not him, he told himself. Not the noble Kanjeng Raden Mas Tummenggung (Kermit) he used to be. He is an expert on telematics… at least that what the media believes, most of them… well, maybe some of them. Damn it, all those negative publication last week, some people might get an idea that his hard worked analysis was actually either plagiarism or just a common knowledge that got overexposed by the media.

There must be something productive someone at his stature can do to improve… his own life. There must be something which can be used for a teleconference, press release, or even plain SMS. Something that can keep him at the end of a camera would be nice, anything at all. Even a stolen laptop would be reasonable enough to lure those hungry reporters.

Uncle Roy^TM decides to wake up from the bed.

He realizes that he haven’t let light enter his room for the whole mournful week. He slowly drag his sober ass across the room to open the windows.

Uncle Roy^TM was annoyed when he had trouble finding a spot to put his feet between pizza boxes, vodka bottles, and a bundled FHM magazine from last month that he still haven’t finish analyzing. Disgusting noise that sound like a something crushed follows his every footstep. His right foot feels funny from what seems to be a dried remain of Vigel between his toes.

“I need to take a bath” he thinks to himself while opening the curtain.

The light enters his room and reveals some printed picture of 99% fake Sandra Dewi naked image he haven’t finish analyzing last night. He feels compelled to finish his work, but soon realize he just stepped on his last supply of Vigel, a vital tool in most of his professional career.

He thinks of going to nearby Indomaret to resupply, but change his mind. It is a vital tool, but it can be replaced by body lotion, soap, or even cooking oil in emergency. There is something more important than this.

He struggle to his desk, where his laptop was placed. And slowly sit on his chair, which now fit more perfectly with his ass after the chair was given days of opportunity to carefully carve its shape to match his ass last week. And push the on button.

“I need underwear”, he said to himself after the cold leather of the 5 hour unused chair creep into his skin.

It didn’t take long for his laptop to recover from standby mode.

He ignores his collection of 140 GB of picture he will need to clarify later, and head straight to IE 7 shortcut.

He then login to his web based roy@indo.net.id. Some people use mail client to access their mail, he think it bear the risk of being hacked. He certainly doesn’t need a geeky teenager with 10 grams of eyeglasses and a face full of acne creeping inside his laptop and see what he usually see 9 hours a day. Beside, he’s not sure how to set POP3 and SMTP client on Microsoft Outlook Express.

Then good news arrives.

Somehow those goons at DPR thought that he actually know something about computer that qualifies him to analyze Max Moein Picture.

He’s certain he have printed the picture before. But it’s hard to find anything buried under pizza boxes, FHM, and fake Sandra Dewi’s poster. At time like this he regrets not saving the files to his hard drive.

He does his emergency browsing for Max Moein picture to analyze. Perhaps because some drop of Vigel stuck in his RG45, or because of UTP cable that got crushed under 10 Kg of Popular, somehow Google only return Max Moein picture where the girl in the picture was blurred.

“This is it”, he thinks. “This can bring my name back from the abyss.”

He then pick up the telephone with his left hand, while his right sending a short message service to all saying “I have analyzed Max Moein picture. The man was indeed Max Moein, the woman was blurred intentionally. I’ll give a press release ASAP. Free pizza and an envelope to all who cover the story. KRMT Roy Suryo”

And uncle Roy deliver the verdict as fast as he can, without even consulting to uncle Google to find out that Max Moein actually has admitted that he was indeed on the picture, and even without realizing that there are actually a version of the picture where the woman was not blurred.

“This time there will be no way for those bloggers/hackers to discredit me.”

…

To be continued

Uncle Roy^TM Finally Finish His Analysis of Max Moein Porn Scandalous Pictures.

Finally, after more than one month, uncle deliver the verdict on Max Moein photos on 10^th of July.

This must be a very costly analysis.

Assuming uncle Roy^TM unparalleled ability to deep search the internet… and other dark places, to find porn scandalous picture, I assume by the time the picture hit the news around 23^rd of May, uncle Roy have enjoyed analyzed the picture for quite some time before BK DPR actually ask for his expertise on 7^th of July. And considering uncle Roy^TM tendencies to issue a press release on anything at all as soon as he can blink his eyes comes to a conclusion, he at least finished his analysis on the morning of Wednesday, 10^th of July.

Uncle Roy^TM has analyzed it for at least 3 days even though he has been enjoying staring observing it for 49 days. Considering he is an entertainer celebrity porn-expert pervert egomaniac IT clown expert (it’s damn hard to find the right words to describe him), he must have used some kind of device, most likely a 386 CPU with a turbo button high end personal computers networked together to gain teraflops per second of computing power. Also, considering his determinacy to brag boast swank show off educate the people, he must have optimized the full potential of his 386 dinosaur networked computers and did not turn it off until the job is done. That’s 72 computing hours, or at least 259.200 teraflops of instruction guys, not including the extra 46 days.

For the untrained eyes, you might think the picture looks pretty clear, but after analyzing every pixel in the raster graphic image of the picture, in the eye of an expert, the woman in the picture was actually, purposely blurred.

And after a careful analysis, he also concluded that the woman in the picture was actually not Desy. Uncle Roy^TM conclude that the picture must have been taken indoor, around 12 and 13 in a hotel room between the end of 2004 or the beginning of 2005. And if you think Max Moein was lying when he admit that the person in that picture was indeed himself, you are wrong, because uncle Roy^TM also conclude that he is in fact Max Moein.

So once again, thank you uncle Roy^TM, for showing us your wisdom in our time of need.

My condolence to those who have suffered in Tambora’s fire.

Especially to a friend who is among those who have lost everything they have owned for years.