With the economy in the tank and the cost of raising a child to age 18 standing at over $200,000 according the latest government studies, along the way, we’ve been seeking out each and every opportunity to cut costs in a reasonable manner while still enjoying a lifestyle we enjoy. We have two boys and a girl all 6 and under, so the spending curve has yet to pick up as they start eating more, begging for designer clothes and joining more activities, but rearing even young children is nothing to sneeze at. So, here are some routine tactics we employ to keep expenses down:

• Make Friends with Parents of Older Children – As tacky as this may sound, the reality is that these are “friends with benefits” when you’re in a parenting situation. We have a few friends who have a child our kid’s age but also older siblings. My wife is especially keen on dressing our 1 year old daughter nicely (not that the boys are slobs, but they don’t have pink shoes that they wear just once) and you wouldn’t believe the girls’ clothing we get from friends. These are clothes that have either never been worn or you can’t tell they’ve ever been worn. I guess I should have specified, “parents with good taste that waste a ton of money on their kids’ clothes”. So, at this stage, between gifts for birthdays and these clothes our friends pass on, the boys have tons of play clothes and our daughter is the best dressed kid on the block virtually for free!

• Buy on Clearance – As cliche as it might sound, buying on clearance is completely under-appreciated in today’s society. There are a lot of great stores both local and online where you can shop at clearance prices. If you’re like me and have a big family, stores and sites like Walmart, Overstock, Ebay, Lowe’s and BJ’s are great places to buy items in bulk at wholesale prices. For my family’s needs, I’ve been popping into the local Lowe’s each weekend for their clearance sales and picked up an incredible new $2800 stainless fridge for a thousand bucks! It had a dent on the side which you can’t even see since it’s up against our wood panel cabinetry. Many of the kids’ clothing stores are constantly offering coupons and clearance sales and frankly, I can’t imagine who ever pays full price for stuff there, but presumably, there are people who do. I’ve pretty much told my wife “No full price shopping…every” – it’s a giant scam and waiting for these coupons and such helps prevent impulse spending as well as it turns into targeted spending only on items we needed and planned on.

• Family Activities on the Cheap – There are myriad ways families can blow thousands of dollars on family activities ranging from little gym and amusement parks to hobbies and expensive toys for the kids. On weekends especially, the family starts to get a bit ancy and they want to do something different since we’re all together. We like to take advantage of free and cheap day trips. There are literally hundreds of opportunities within driving distance of your house – I guarantee it! We spend lots of time in parks, especially finding new ones and exploring. We might go apple or peach picking for a day and pay about the same we’d pay in bulk in a store for food we needed anyway, but the kids love it. There are some great, massive playgrounds around that the kids love. We go fishing, hiking, camping and even just roast marshmallows in the back yard. There are tons of ways to break up the monotony of a weekend with no plans without blowing a ton of dough.

These are just the tip of the iceberg, as there are thousands of ways to save costs on raising kids without living like a pauper.

What Are Some of Your Favorite Tips?

It’s odd how the brain works.  I only tend to recall a select few memories from childhood and they’re not the ones you’d think.  Disney World? No. Hitting my First Home Run?  No.  Oddly, some of them revolve around negative events even though I had an incredibly positive childhood comparatively speaking.  I’ve read that this is an evolutionary relic where humans tend to remember negative events more prominently as a survival mechanism but somehow my Dad yelling at me for sneaking up on him (Vietnam vet – not a fan of the sneak attack), being made fun of by classmates, etc. tends to stand out.  As a parent though, even as a father of 3 kids with the oldest at 6, I already have some very prominent memories that will likely stick with me for a lifetime.

My favorite and most memorable moments with my kids that tend to stand out in no particular order:

Teaching my son to ride his bike – Probably my most prominent memory of late is my oldest learning how to ride his bike without training wheels.  After several attempts throughout the spring and the ensuing falls and yelling at dad, he finally got it and as I was running alongside him and gave him a push, off he went.  He was trying to conceal his smile and look cool, but I could tell how excited and proud he was.  I’ll probably always remember that moment.

Adventure Guides Trips – As I mentioned in my coverage of the Adventure Guides program we’re in, my oldest absolutely loves these trips and we’ve had lots of memories.  My most prominent one is sledding off a massive jump they set up on a hill outside our cabin this winter.  With my youngest son and daughter to join the fray eventually, I’m sure there will be several more.

First Fish – Seeing how excited my middle son got over catching a fish is something I’ll always remember.  He’d heard stories about his older brother catching fish and kept asking me to take him fishing so we went to the local creek and caught him a small bass.  He was going nuts!

Laughing and Playing Ball – My daughter just turned 1 and the thing I remember most is the first time I started rolling a ball to her and how much she was laughing throwing it back at me.  She was giggling and lit up and it’s the happiest I’ve ever seen her.

What are Your Most Memorable Moments?

My wife came across some different cool ideas for kids’ summer parties and thought the Firefly theme would be fun.  Since school’s out, she wanted to do something fun for the kids and parents from our Kindergartner’s class.  So, she sent out some invites for a firefly party.

Firefly Party Basics

• Wear Pajamas – This was recommended both because it’s late and the kids were up until around 9:30-10 anyway, plus it protected them from mosquitoes (and ticks!) in the back yard.

• Firefly Collection – The kids all brought their own little bug houses or jars (my son is an avid bug-man so we had plenty to spare) and when my wife said “go”, they went around collecting as many fireflies as they could in the yard starting at around 8:45 or so.  While the parents mingled, the kids collected.  At the end of the night, they counted up fireflies and the top couple kids won a little prize.  Of course, they all got some cheap silly bandz as well (the fad that won’t die).

• The Drinks – What fun is a party without some drinks for the parents right?  Going with the theme, we had Firefly Vodka with sweet tea drinks…and beer for the guys.

• Side Gigs – I also busted out the fire pit with S’mores and had some balls and yard games out for the kids before they started while it was still light out.

• The Outcome – The party seemed to be a big hit.  The kids loved it and didn’t want to leave.  It was quite unique and nobody had ever heard of such a party before.  We got to meet some of the parents and hang out a little, which was a nice departure from the usual classroom meetings or baseball games that don’t lend themselves to much social interaction (since I was a coach).

Any Neat Summer Party Ideas You Had This Year?

It’s that time of year again where you’ll need to start lathering up the kids and avoid those nasty sunburns and ward off cancer risk years into the future.  The problem is, you may not be getting what you paid for – and you may actually be harming your children in the process.  While I don’t subscribe to every naturo-whack news article on how everything man-made is a scheme or evil, but based on multiple studies I’ve seen from legitimate sources, there are in fact many sunscreens on the market that should be avoided.

The most prominent recent report comes from the Environmental Working Group in their 2010 sunscreen report.

Some notable sunscreen findings:

• While many sunscreens prevent sunburns, that may be little help in warding off dangerous rays or even harming you due to presence of other chemicals.
• The FDA can’t even back up the claims of manufacturers: “FDA is not aware of data demonstrating that sunscreen use alone helps prevent skin cancer”…sunscreens should not be the first choice for skin cancer prevention and should not be used as the sole agent for protection against the sun” (IARC 2001a).
• Overuse of sunscreen can actually impeded your body’s ability to produce vitamin D – the law of unintended consequences.
• The vitamin A that many brands have in their formulations has recently been found to be harmful in animal studies and may actually increase your risk of cancer (source)

The Best Sunscreens:

Aside from actual clothing and hats which are your best bet, when going full monty, the report suggests the following as top picks for combination of effectiveness with safety in mind as well:

All Terrain
Aquasport Performance Sunscreen, SPF 30
TerraSport Performance Sunscreen, SPF 30
KidSport Performance Sunscreen, SPF 30

Badger
Sunscreen for Face and Body, Unscented, SPF 30
Sunscreen for Face and Body, SPF 30 Lightly Scented
Sunscreen for Face and Body, SPF 15 Lightly Scented

Beyond Coastal
Lip and Face Screen, SPF 30

California Baby
Sunblock Stick No Fragrance, SPF 30+
Sunscreen Lotion No Fragrance, SPF 30+
Sunscreen Lotion Everyday/Year-Round, SPF 30+
Sunscreen Lotion, SPF 30+, Citronella
Sunblock Stick Everyday/Year-Round, SPF 30+

Caribbean Solutions
Natural/Biodegradable SolGuard, SPF 25
Sol Kid Kare Natural Sunscreen, SPF 25

Desert Essence
Age Reversal SPF 30 Mineral Sunscreen

Episencial
Sunny Sunscreen, SPF 35

Estion
Sunscreen with Zinc, SPF 38

Jason Natural Cosmetics
Sunbrellas: Mineral Based Physical Sunblock, SPF 30+
Sunbrellas: Chemical Free Sunblock, SPF 30+
Earth’s Best: Sunblock Mineral Based, SPF 30+

Kabana Skin Care
Green Screen Organic Sunscreen Fragrance Free, SPF 20
Green Screen Organic Sunscreen, SPF 22, Skin Tone Tinted

L’uvalla Certified Organic
SPF 20 Sunscreen Face/Body

La Roche-Posay
Anthelios 40 Sunscreen Cream

Little Forest
Sunscreen Lotion For Babies and Kids, SPF 30+

Loving Naturals
Sunscreen, SPF 30+

Miessence
Reflect Outdoor Balm, SPF 15

Purple Prairie Botanicals
SunStuff, SPF 30
Sun Stick, SPF 30
SunStuff, SPF 15

Soleo Organics
All Natural Sunscreen, SPF 30+
Soleo Organics/Wyland Organics All Natural Sunscreen, SPF 30+
Soleo Organics/Atlantis Resort All Natural Sunscreen, SPF 30+

thinkbaby and thinksport
Sunscreen, SPF 30+

Trukid
Sunny Days Face and Body Stick, SPF 30+

UV Natural
Baby Sunscreen, SPF 30+
Sunscreen Sport, SPF 30+
Sunscreen, SPF 30+

Vanicream
Sunscreen Sport, SPF 35

There are other criteria; the list above looked at the popular sport category.  I was surprised to see that major brand names didn’t make the list, but in looking at major brands like Coppertone, many of them got an intermediate ranking, so at least they weren’t on the worst-list.  But forward this around, it’s a good independent resource to protect your kids from the dangers of both the sun and chemical exposure.

I saw an intriguing 60 minutes segment this week outlining the huge numbers of students (and professionals surprisingly) that are wantonly taking ADHD drugs in college for everything from studying and test-taking to pulling all-nighters and writing otherwise boring papers.  I was struck by both the striking proportion of students who admit to this practice and also the nonchalant attitude toward taking medications in the same class as cocaine to do something we’re supposed to confront with our natural abilities – school – and your job.

Staggering Numbers – Students and Professionals

According to their estimates, Among Upper Classes, 50-60 Percent Using ADD/ADHD Drugs Ritalin and Adderall.  The students interviewed said “It’s the norm”.  According to a survey of nearly 2,000 students at the University of Kentucky, 34% of undergrads took attention deficit drugs illegally without a prescription. For perspective, the percentage of students legally taking the drugs (presumably, only a portion even, of these actually need it) is 4%.

Isn’t This Cheating?

Call me old-fashioned, but drinking a soda and getting some fresh air used to be the way college students stayed alert and pulled all-nighters.  And call me ancient to suggest that perhaps an all-nighter wouldn’t even be required if you didn’t procrastinate until the last minute.  But these days, I now see middle school kids walking out of dunkin’ donuts with coffees (this was unheard of when I was growing up and I’m not old) and highschool and college students are taking drugs meant for clinically diagnosed attention disorders.  Is this really any different than “natural athletes competing against athletes on steroids?  If I’m using my own natural ability to study, retain lecture information and take a test and I’m competing against a classful of students taking drugs that (supposedly) increase mental acuity and performance, is that fair?  Do I then need to start taking drugs just to compete?  I mean, many courses grade on a curve, right?

It Doesn’t Matter – Nothing can be Done to Stop It

Whether this is fair or not doesn’t really matter frankly.  The phenomena has arrived and it’s here to stay.  We can’t even keep drugs that are illegal under all circumstances from flooding our country, how would we reasonably expect to curtail the use of legally prescribed drugs?  According to the students in the airing, they simply go to a doctor and say “Oh, I’ve been having trouble concentrating” and the doctor in turn says “Oh, you must have ADHD – here’s a prescription”.  It’s an obvious wink-wink relationship between the sales reps, doctors and patients that is so prevalent in our society.  The interesting part is that the jury’s still out on a) how effective the use of these drugs actually is for college students and b) what the long-term effects are for chronic use and addiction.

The New Normal

I suspect this trend is another new normal for America.  We’re graduating an entire generation of students who are now entering the workforce that are either overtly addicted to ADHD drugs or at least believe that it’s OK to use these drugs enhance their performance and alertness as needed, so this is our future American workforce.  Personally, I don’t feel threatened because intelligence and alertness are just a couple cogs in the wheel of what actually makes for a successful career, but I wonder about my kids.  Will this work its way down to routine use in highschool and earlier?  Will it be “expected” that if you want to be a top student, you’ve gotta use in order to excel?  Who knows?  I had heard of this before, but I was shocked by the prevalence.

Do You Use ADHD Drugs to Enhance Your Performance?

Do You Think It’s Fair?

I’ll be the first to admit that neither I or my children have perfect diets.  We practice “everything in moderation” as opposed to the extreme rigidity of some of our friends where everything has to be 100% organic, absolutely no processed foods, nothing in a box, no additives, no fun stuff like ice cream, etc.  However, at the other end of the spectrum is a growing majority in America.  If you look around, there are a lot of overweight kids – a much higher proportion than I recall seeing when I grew up.  And once you put on the weight it’s extremely difficult to take it off.
So, we do worry about our kids, especially one of our sons who started off with some pretty severe gastro issues stemming from a premature birth.  He still hasn’t come around and is a very picky eater.  Unfortunately, he tends to favor snacks like crackers, cookies and sweets over fresh fruits and vegetables if given the choice.  So, we’ve come up with some general guidelines and tricks in an effort to ensure he has the best shot at a healthy stature as he matures, which has lifelong implications:

• High Fructose Corn Syrup – We cut this out everywhere we can.  Virtually all boxed foods, even if they’re not known as “sweets”, have high fructose corn syrup.  This stuff’s just plain nasty.  Not only does your body not metabolize it the same as natural sugars, but it actually has a different response in the brain while eating.  Ever notice when you’re eating that bag of snacks you could just go on forever and keep digging in?  When you’re ingesting high fructose corn syrup, it tricks your body into not sending/processing the same signal that signifies that you’re getting full and you just keep eating it.  It’s nasty, it’s tricky, and it’s likely one of the primary factors in the current obesity epidemic in America.
• Fresh Fruits and Vegetables – We try and have fresh food in the fridge at all times to ensure we don’t have to resort to the packaged stuff if the kids are hungry or something happens with the timing of dinner or we take a road trip or whatever.  Even if it’s the same thing (my one son will eat apples all day), it’s way better than a bag of snackfood.
• Tricking Your Kids – Since our picky eater only eats apples, we trick him into eating other stuff with none other than…the freezer!  For instance, he won’t eat blueberries.  We wanted to get a little diversity in his diet, so my wife tried freezing them.  Now, these frozen blueberries for some reason were some sort of dessert or snack to him.  Even though it’s the same food, he was much more receptive to it.
• Making Our Own Baby Food – As I’d highlighted in this article on homemade baby food it’s both healthy and a huge money saver for the first year or so of our daughter’s life.  And it’s easy!
• Avoid the Juice Drinks! – While many juice drinks say “all natural” on the label, it’s often not actually “natural ingredients” by any rational person’s definition.  When you read the label, you see all the added ingredients, not to mention that juice is SUGAR! While eating an apple or strawberry is eating a natural sugar, if your kid’s sipping on juices all day instead of water, they’re ingesting way more sugar than they need.  Not to mention, it’s also bad for their teeth.  We have a few friends whose kids have already had multiple cavities and EVEN A ROOT CANAL for a 3 year old.  Their kids drink juice in a sippy cup around the clock.

There are surely some other tips and tricks and I’d love to hear them.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a diet blog and our kids aren’t freako-natural, but there are some reasonable limits that parents can set and easy to implement changes to childrens’ diets that can ensure they at least have a decent shot at a healthy life in adulthood.  I’m realizing now in my thirties just how difficult it is to take off a few pounds.  Imagine starting off as a teenager 50 pounds overweight!

This morning, we played one of the myriad pranks on our children that play out year round until they will eventually figure us out.  For St. Patrick’s Day, we set some Leprechaun traps (see last year’s elaborate Leprechaun Trap) and of course, they failed.  This morning, the kids came downstairs to find all kinds of toys, lamps and stools on top of tables and counters.  Powdered sugar was everywhere and those little buggers turned our milk green!  Those mischievous leprechauns got us again!

I started to take inventory of the various fictional characters we employ, partially for our childrens’ benefit, but primarily for sheer entertainment value.  There’s the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Buggy Monsters and Halloween Spooks. What’s really intriguing is the questions our 5 year old asks us.  He’s very analytical and asks questions like how the tooth fairy gets in his room with windows closed and how the Leprechaun climbs up onto tabletops when he’s so little.  Yet he never figures out that it’s a big joke.  I wonder if some older kid in school will ruin it and tell him there’s no Santa, there’s no Leprechaun and the Tooth Fairy’s a hoax.  I wonder if when he figures out one, it will snap and he’ll realize they’re all fictional characters.

I don’t remember how I found out.  Do you?

How Have Your Children Reacted to Finding out?

Since our 5 year old son is our first, he’s our experiment.  We try out all kinds of activities, sports, shows, hobbies and more at least once and if it works, we stick with it.  So far, we’re sticking with piano, T-Ball and soccer.  Not so sure about basketball and some of the other things we’ve tried.  Without trying to load him up with too much, because he’s gotta be a kid after all, we checked out Adventure Guides at the request of one of our neighbors.  I kind of consider Adventure Guides to be Cub Scouts “light”.  For those 30-somethings and older, you may recall hearing about Indian Guides as a kid.  Do to political correctness, this is the same organization with a new name.

Adventure Guides Review to Date:

So far, so good.  It’s relatively laid back, the Dads and kids involved are pretty cool and you just participate in what you want to.  You only pay for the events you go to.  There’s no fund raising.  So, if you’re really jammed up for a couple months or short on cash, no problem.  You can pick up later.  They basically have a monthly meeting where we meet at one of the Dad’s houses and talk about the next external activity while the kids play.  Then, the kids sit around in a circle and do a brief announcement about what’s new in their lives (usually filled with some silliness and chuckles), then the kids do a craft.  This is all funded by the host.

As far as activities, to date, we went with our circle and slept over on the Battleship New Jersey (Awesome!), spent a weekend in the mountains doing sledding, game night, a hike in 3 feet of snow and some other neat stuff I probably wouldn’t get around to doing with my kids on a typical weekend, and next, we have PineWood Derby Car Races coming up.  Upcoming for the summer will be some other campout stuff and day trips.  It’s probably about 8 major events per year.  Dads can do something similar with their daughters for the girl-only Adventure Guides as well.  It’s really been a blast, my son can’t stop talking about it and I feel like we’ve really bonded on these trips.  Not that we don’t do a ton of fun stuff with the family, but there’s something different about going away one on one with one of your kids for a weekend for a fun trip.

I’m sure soon, some of his friends will be joining cub scouts and he’ll be asking me about that too, but for now, I’m satisfied with this toned-down version.  Cub Scouts seems like a bit more of a commitment, with uniforms, fundraisers and other stuff that might not work for us.  But, the activities the kids do seem to overlap.  For instance, the trip to the Battleship was frequented by both Cub Scouts and Adventure Guides.

Anyway, I give it a thumbs up.  Curious if you have any impressions of either organization.

When Mom’s out for the day and it’s raining out, boredom can ensue.  Today, the wife took our daughter to a baby shower for the day, so I had the two boys.  Confronted with a lousy forecast and the novelty of new Christmas toys long gone (sad, isn’t it?), I started thinking about some neat stuff to do with them instead of plopping them in front of the TV.

We considered seeing a movie but there was nothing playing that we found interesting.  And that kind of defeats the purpose of avoiding a day full of television – it’s just a higher priced screen.

Bounce Places – We’ve been to a few of these for various birthday parties.  Whether it’s BounceU, Kids Rule, or whatever the name of the chain is, they’re pretty much the same place.  Kids take off shoes, go nuts running and bouncing through various large blow-up obstacle courses and it tires them out while Dad gets to bounce around and act like a little kid with them.  That was our first stop today.  For twenty bucks, we spent 90 minutes of quality time together going nuts.  Today they allowed walk-ins, but some days they don’t so just find a place near you and call ahead.

Arcade -This was going to be our second choice, but the place I had in mind was closed on Sundays, so we didn’t get over there.  Regardless, we don’t have games in the house (yet) and they rarely make it to an arcade so I figured this would be a fun way to spend an hour or so.  Maybe next time.

In the House: Hide and Seek -There are a million things you can do in the house on a rainy day, but we rarely play hide and seek and our 3 year old absolutely loves it.  It never gets old for him, even when he hides in the same spot every time!  Our five year old’s getting to that competitive stage where he really tries to find crazy spots to hide.  Anyway, that’s always fun for a good thirty minutes.

Arts and Crafts -My wife’s real good about stocking the house full of arts and crafts for the kids.  We have an endless supply of paper, stickers, crayons, markets, glue, etc.  So, we basically just wing it and throw together some ridiculous contraption and then present it to Mom when she gets home.

Bath – The Closer - So Mom doesn’t have to walk in and do a bath first thing in, I’m starting bath time now.  I’ll let them splash around in there for a while and chill since I usually move things along more quickly during the week and we’re starting early.  When she pops in, I can say, “They’re bathed – alright I’m gonna finally take my shower for the day after I hit the elliptical for a couple minutes” or whatever.

While a rainy day can stink since we do so much outside when it’s nice, there’s no reason to totally squander a good day with the kids.  They grow up so fast, so we might as well make the most out of these individual moments when the family’s not together and we’re not in our typical routine.

What are some of your favorite Rainy Day Activites?

I’ve been both amused and disturbed when my 5 year old quotes me an infomercial outlining the benefits of the giant cupcake maker, the magic doorsweep or the snuggie.  On one hand, it’s funny what an easy sell he is and how enthusiastic he is about a piece of crap made in China that falls apart once it arrives, but at the same time, it demonstrates just how impressionable young kids are to even small doses of commercial television.

When I was growing up, I don’t recall infomercials like this during kids’ shows.  I also didn’t desire or possess much in the way of material things.  While my friends were all getting the Commodore 64 and wearing expensive parachute pants, my Dad bought me cinder blocks to build a fort in the back yard and I got “practical gifts” like flashlights and pocket knives.  It’s not to say I didn’t want what my friends had at the time, but I think I have a different appreciation for the receipt of gifts even today as an adult compared to friends and kids today.

This is of course, is partially a reflection on us as parents and how we’re raising our kids, but we’re pretty much mainstream, or actually, a bit on the frugal side compared to virtually everyone we know and associate with.

I tend to try and focus our spending on memorable life experiences over material things.  I’m sure the kids will look back more fondly (and so will we) on a trip to Disney rather than boasting that they had a full collection of games for the Nintendo DS when they were growing up.  However, with every holiday and birthday seemingly being met with gifts, gifts, gifts, it seems to diminish the thrill and appreciation of subsequent gifts.  I’m often overruled by my wife, and sometimes rightly so in retrospect.  But I wish on some levels that life could be simpler, easier, less wrought with chintzy crap from the dollar store.  It’s not just the money, it’s the mindset that entices kids to desire more and more “stuff” regardless of its complete lack of utility or enjoyment after the first 5 minutes.

What are your thoughts?

Am I an old fart who forgot what it was like to be a kid or is this generation being subjected to vastly different consumerism than ours?