My Dad is a Fob

Makeshift Shower Sandals

mdiaf — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 21:34:31 +0000

Today I was at the gym, and I saw a fobby father…wearing the bags they provide for your wet swimming trunks, one on each foot. I guess someone forgot their shower sandals!

In the beginning, there was Big Ben.

mdiaf — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 21:33:36 +0000

Today my dad was fixing our doorbell, which makes an obnoxious imitation of the Big Ben. My dog got very upset and started barking at it. This was my dad’s response:

“What’s wrong doggy? You don’t like the Big Bang? That’s what it’s called right? The Big Bang in London?”

Medicine & Metaphors

mdiaf — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 22:40:30 +0000

I emailed my dad to take his medicine. He responds a day later.

gd means ‘good day’

———- Forwarded message ———-

Subject: Re: MEDICINE

rona

i take medicine everyday under ur mom superintendent .

u know :

i wake up even earlier than morning call-chicken everyday
i slept even later than watching dogs everynight
i ate even less than hungried kitty every meal
i worked harder than laboured donkey every day

ur mom hv easy life .

love u

dad

Feminine Products

mdiaf — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 23:02:40 +0000

While my friends are over and my mom’s not around, my dad reads through the shopping list before heading out. He shouts from the kitchen:

“What’s this? What’s P-A-D-S? Why got wings? What always?”

In Order of Priority

mdiaf — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 02:32:59 +0000

This is the monthly “to do” list my dad sends me to tell me what to do. I am working on a Siemens Project and this is what he said:

Phillip,

There are only three weeks left before school so must use time wisely. You need to work on the following over the three weeks:

Online PE class
Common app essays
Mit essay
Semen Project

There is not much time.
Dad

Daddy’s Exclamatory Health Message!!

mdiaf — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 01:50:25 +0000

I got this email from my dad this morning. He’s had problems with his liver as of late due in part to having 2-3 cold ones every night for the past 30+ years, and my mom’s been trying hard to get him to quit drinking for the sake of his liver.

Guess after this he’s not quitting anytime soon. I’m more amused by his email than the article itself though :)

From: Dad
Date: Fri, Aug 6, 2010 at 9:45 AM
Subject: HEALTH MESSAGE FROM YOUR DADDY: YOU MUST READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

http://health.msn.com/health-topics/cholesterol/slideshow.aspx?cp-documentid=100261759&imageindex=1

I am heading to the store today.

daddy :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

RIP, Snake!

mdiaf — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 18:41:44 +0000

My father posted a picture of that dead snake on his facebook, and here’s what he wrote about it:

————————
I hold the snake,and mom use the shovel hit the head by saying : “dead la ! dead la ! dead la ! ” in Chinese until I said ” That’s enlough.”

RIP, snake :(!

Your Camry Is Cooler…Since Dad Bought It :)!

mdiaf — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 08:07:37 +0000

I found a car identical to mine in the parking lot and decided to take a picture and sent it to my dad, who had bought the car for me. This was his response:

Dear Elaine,

These two cars are very similar in general. However, I find three difference (1) you car is two door for more sporty look, (2) your car has spoil at the back for aerodynamic, (3) your car has V6 powerful engine.

So, you car is more unique and this car is originally from either California or Arizona.

I like the pictures. It is very amusing.

Love,
Dad
_______________

Dear Elaine,

In addition, you car has sun roof, two exhaustive pipes and you car antenna can go up and down.

Love,
Dad

Sideseen With the Family!

mdiaf — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 21:49:08 +0000

My dad was telling me over MSN Messenger about our upcoming vacation to China. He highlighted a couple places we would be visiting:

(04:35:42 PM) Dad: We’re going to 桂林 and 黄果树瀑布 (Asia’s biggest fall)
(04:36:19 PM) Dad: There will be a lot of good “sideseen” (I hope I spell it correctly).

He meant “sightseeing” :).

Exercise Coach

mdiaf — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 00:07:40 +0000

Here’s an email from my dad addressed to two 30+ year-old children…

Dearest Aaron and Audrey:

Good to hear from you both. Health is most important. I want you to take good care of yourself.

I have started to eat slowly and spend more time to chew the food to get its flavors. Sit straight and bring the food up to your mouth. Don’t eat too full. Reserve room for fruit after a meal to get the right vitamins.

Next, you want to find time to exercise. Even stretching all your limbs, bending your knees and doing sitting ups slowly are effective. Make an effort every day and do more during the weekends.

Love from Dad