My Dad is a Fob

Only One on the Tree?

mdiaf — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 03:00:13 +0000

An email from my dad about a giant guava that is only 1, 1 year old??

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: James
Date: Fri, Nov 13, 2009 at 7:10 PM
Subject: Our back yard Giant Guava
To: Denise

Hi Denise,

Look at this giant Guava from our back yard.
it’s big and it’s only one so far.

Daddy

Napping with the Dog

mdiaf — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 03:15:39 +0000

This is what my dad does at the beach :)

Senior Portraits Double As Bathroom Decor

mdiaf — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 01:19:16 +0000

I’m graduating this year, so I sent my parents an email asking them how many copies of my senior portrait they would like. My dad replies a few hours later…

I just spoke with Mom on this. Contrary to what you had discussed, we would now like to order two large prints (to be rpiudly displayed in my office and our toilet at home).

No stinge on the cost!

Love,
Dad

Fobby Dads Must Research Before Any Lecture

mdiaf — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:20:59 +0000

One day while taking senior proficiency tests in high school, I decided to be funny and bubble in my name on the test form as:

Last Name: PIMP
First Name: DADDY
Middle Initial: G

My assistant principal chewed me out for it, then called my parents. My dad called me into the living room when I got home from school.

Dad: Your principal told me that you wrote “Pimple Daddy G” on your test.
Me: No, I wrote “Pimp Daddy G.”
Dad: Okay, we need to talk about this…later.

I leave, but not before I see my dad grab a dictionary and start flipping through it. Later:

Dad: So…you want to be paid to sleep with women?
Me: No…

Precautionary Warning…via YouTube

mdiaf — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:33:20 +0000

While I’m away from college, my dad likes to send emails with links about getting more sleep, studying harder, etc. I didn’t expect this.

(Email) Subject: Taiwan talk show about ”The first time”

(Youtube link to a Taiwanese talk show channel)

Hopefully it not only just help you understand more Chinese. It said that a lot of Taiwanese girl did it first time in restroom and out of pressure of their boyfriend.

Love,
Dad

Recycling Star!

mdiaf — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 19:16:32 +0000

This is my dad about to make a dash to his car on a rainy day. You can get it for your dad at Macy’s, too.

Lessons on Developing a Driver’s Attitude

mdiaf — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 03:21:52 +0000

During a driving session with my dad and family…

Dad: You’re not aggressive enough.
Me: Dad I don’t want to get into an accident and most of them are assholes of a driver.
Dad:…So you asshole them back.
Me: *tries not to laugh*

Strike a Pose!

mdiaf — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 03:08:47 +0000

During a trip to California, I was bored and put flowers in my dad’s hair:

His reaction:

Schooling me on how to pose like a lady:

Hey Jaime

mdiaf — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 07:27:46 +0000

My family runs a small business, we wholesale auto parts. A good majority of our customers are Spanish speaking and/or from Spanish speaking countries…

Dad: That new customer show up?
Me: Who?
Dad: Hymen.
Brother: WHAT?
Me: Who? Do you mean–
Dad: Hymen Hy-men. You know, Hymen.
Sister: Hy–JAIME? DAD, IN SPANISH IT’S NOT HYMEN, IT’S JAIME. LIKE HAI-ME.
Dad: That’s what I said, Hymen. What’s wrong?
Me: Hymen is not the same it’s–
Brother: How do you even begin to explain that one?

Chuck E Cheese on Halloween

mdiaf — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 02:27:10 +0000

Dad: So how was Chuck Cheesing?
Me: What?
Dad: CHUCK A CHEESE. GETTING CANDY? You know, Chuck A Cheese!!
Mom: What? No one understand you!
Me: Do you mean.. trick or treat?
Dad: Thas what I said! You need to listen!