MyDatingZone: Your Perfect Guide To A Successful Dating

Looking for True Love!

dan_303@hotmail.com (Dan A.) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 18:52:00 +0000

TRUE LOVE! Most of us search high and low for true love in that one ideal relationship. We struggle over it and with it, yearn for it, craft books, music, and poems about it—all without a clear understanding of what we seek or why we want it so desperately.

We’re not even sure what love is. How do we define it? The definition of love is as unique and as varied as every individual who experiences it. That’s a big part of the problem. Love feels different for each person. So how do we tell if the one we love actually returns the favor? After all, our loved one may offer us love that does not quite feel like what we know as love.

To clear up at least some of the confusion, let us establish a basic definition for true love. The truest, purest love is unconditional. Such love is also the simplest form of love because it has no hooks, no standards, no expectations, no conditions attached to it whatsoever. No complications, no hidden clauses or agendas, no restraints or exceptions.

Unconditional love is true love, and unconditional love is healing and uplifting—the ultimate source of all life. True/unconditional love sustains and nurtures life, joy, peace, and freedom. That is why we look so hard for true love. Deep in our souls, we long to be free, loved, and secure.

The very simplicity of unconditional/true love is also the source of its power. Lacking all limitations, unconditional love is limitless and endless. Unconditional love is simply another way of saying God, the infinite, the divine, the source, known by many names. Every major religion, in fact, asserts that God is love.

Unconditional love—God in other words—is so simple that most of us find it very suspicious if not downright impossible to understand or accept. We’re certain there has to be a catch somewhere, just as we’re convinced that some people, somehow and in some way, have done something so horrible or unforgiveable that they no longer merit God’s or anyone else’s love.

Do we damn child abusers? What about terrorists who cause death on a mass scale? Do we condemn corporate polluters? Illegal drug users? Homosexuals? Christian fundamentalists? Those of differing faiths or races?

Our personal litany of the unlovable/unforgiveable says far more about the limitations of our love than about anyone else. It also shows us that the love we give and receive is constricted and diminished by judgments, standards, or expectations. Once we impose even one tiny judgment, standard, or expectation on love, it devolves away from being true/unconditional.

Trapped in the painful web of conditional love, we devote our time and energy to looking for love in all the wrong places. We keep hoping to find true love somewhere “out there,” outside of ourselves, in someone else’s eyes. But that is not the place to find true love.

Future columns will explore where and how to find true love and how we can use that unconditional love to heal ourselves and our world.

To Your Successful Online Dating,
Dan A. {Priest}

* Adult Personals * BSDM Fantasies * Free Dating

Women: Five Men You Should Avoid Dating!

dan_303@hotmail.com (Dan A.) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 18:06:00 +0000

The Mamma's Boy
This guy probably lives with his mother, if not close enough for her to pop in for tea (every night). She will have helped him pick out his decor and there will be photos of her all over his apartment. He goes for Sunday dinner and has several cartons of homemade meals in the refrigerator that mom made for him.

Why you should stay away: You will never live up to his mother and although he will love and cherish you forever he will take his mother's side every time.

How to get rid of him: Tell him you don't like his mother.

The Body Builder
This guy will have photos of himself on every available space, along with his own home gym (even though he has a life time membership at the swanky one in town). He has all the latest gadgets and home entertainment systems.

Why you should stay away: You will never see him as he is always down at the gym. He will spend more time in the bathroom then you. He collects trophies and likes one hanging off his arm.

How to get rid of him: Tell him to give up the gym for you.

The Womanizer
This guy will treat you like a princess and is the perfect lover. He dresses well and is out to impress and impress he will (every woman he comes in contact with). He will, of course, have trouble remembering your name, with all the women he has on the go.

Why You should stay away: His excuses for not showing up are getting more pathetic. You will have to compete with his phone as he has so many calls to return and text messages to answer.

How to get rid of him: Tell him, "I use to be a man."

The Workaholic
This man is going places, but will he be taking you with him? He is smartly dressed, has great taste in decor and eats at the finest restaurants. However, his work will always come first.

Why you should stay away: You have to make an appointment to see him. He will take you to elegant dinner parties then leave you with strangers while he talks shop.

How to get rid of him: Tell him, "I’m taking a year off to travel. Do you want to come?"

Your College Lecturer
He is probably older than you, more worldly and gets you a good grade.

Why you should stay away: If anyone found out about you, they would say you slept your way to better grades. Plus, he would lose his job and possibly his teaching position.

How to get rid of him: Tell him somebody is blackmailing you and if you don’t stop seeing him, they are going to report you.

Of course, there are exceptions. For example, if "the body builder" knows how to give you the same type of attention he gives his body then this could potentially be a good thing (as long as you can handle other women trying to pick up on him). And if you are a workaholic that has no plans of changing then being in a relationship with another workaholic will allow the two of you to focus more on your careers while hopefully having some focus left for each other. If "mamma's boy" mom loves you and you can get the same focus from the man as his mom gives then just maybe... it's a stretch. Remember, it's doubtful any of these men will change so it's best not to try and change them.

A good approach to take in wanting out of one of these relationships is to be honest. This may gain more respect. Tell "mamma's boy" that he's too focused on his mom. Tell the womanizer that you only have room in your life for a man that only has room for you. It's doubtful that they'll change, but at least they'll know the real reason you don't want to pursue a relationship.

To Your Successful Online Dating,
Dan A. {Priest}

* Discreet Personals * BSDM Fantasies * Lesbian Dating

Create an Online Dating Profile Header that Attracts Attention!

dan_303@hotmail.com (Dan A.) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 17:22:00 +0000

AT MOST online dating services require that you provide a short header message (opening line) that shows up under your username when people do searches. Some people don't know what to put here and end up with generic headers like, "I may be the one for you" or "hello".

It's vital that you use this space to create a profile header message that commands attention - something clever, funny, or
philosophical that will make a person want to click on your profile and read it.

There are several elements that go into creating a profile that people will want to click to read. One is your photo, another is your username, and then there's your header. Here are four specific tips for creating a good profile header:

1) Avoid Boring and Overused Headers
When a person can't think of what to say for their header message, they usually resort to common and overused headers like "I may be the one" or "looking to meet new people."

You don't want to appear common. There are tens of thousands of people competing with you in a quest to find that "perfect" partner. Therefore make sure that the header you use will attract the attention of others. Which one of these four profile headers would attract your attention?

"Hello"
"You May be the One I'm Looking for"
"Looking to Meet New People"
"Willing to Lie About How We Met!"

Three of those are overused. One takes a humorous approach to the concept of telling others how you met. It's unique and clever. Make sure your header is uncommon in a sea of commonalities.

2) Analyze Other Profile Headers
One of the best ways to create a winning profile header is to analyze headers others use that interest you. What is it about the header that makes you want to click on their profile and learn more? Here are a few of our favorites (some funny, some philosophical, and some simply clever):

"We make a perfect couple: I've got the brains and you've got the body!"
"Ok, I'm here. Now what's your other two wishes?"
"Bright spark looking to ignite shared paths"
"Just like a new job, I offer excellent benefits."
"Strangers are friends waiting to be made."

Use the insight you gain from reading interesting profile headers to create your own.

3) Use Your Header as a Filter
One of the biggest complaints we hear from online daters is the number of people who contact them that are not what they are looking for. It may be a man 15 years older or someone who's body type doesn't match what you want. If you want to improve the interest shown to you from qualified respondents, then start by using your header to filter out unwanteds. For example:

"Looking for fit 24-30 year old male within 20 miles of Los Angeles"

By creating a filter, when a person who doesn't match your criteria reads your header they are likely to continue on. Yet when a "fit 24-30 year old local male" reads the header, it attracts him because he meets your criteria. Here are some real filter type subject headers we've seen people use:

"Must be at least 5'10" to get on this ride"
"Please be local, fit, over 40, and have a posted picture."
"Romantic men seem to be extinct. If you're extinct, contact me now."
"I love a man in uniform. Military men, apply within."

Improve your matches by using your subject header to filter your results!

4) Change Your Header Message
It's always a good idea to keep your profile fresh by rotating your pictures and changing your header message once in awhile. Every week create a new and clever, creative, or filtered subject header. Different subject headers attract different people, therefore you may reach "new" people by keeping your header fresh and updated.

To Your Successful Online Dating,
Dan A. {Priest}

* Adult Personals * BSDM Fantasies * Free Dating

Tips for The End Of a Date !!

dan_303@hotmail.com (Dan A.) — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 16:51:00 +0000

1. If you really didn't have a great time, you can always end the date early by being truthful and call an end to proceedings by saying you have an urgent meeting, phone call, appointment etc. Whilst your date will not be a fool, they will understand what you are trying to say. Better still, simply be kind but truthful and point out that you don't think you will be an ideal match and that you have had a lovely evening but that is all there is to it.

2. Never allow someone to believe there is more on offer than there really is. Do not keep your options open with someone if you don't intend to call them. It is always better to end the date as a full-stop than to keep someone hanging on for weeks afterwards. So don't falsely keep someone's hopes up, ever.

3. If you are a guy you are paying the bill or getting the check, whatever you believe. This is not the moment to start quibbling over who had what from the menu and splitting things. The age of chivalry is not dead and you had the company of the lady this evening, therefore it is your task to leave an excellent and chivalrous image by getting out your credit card.

4. If the lady insists on paying half, this is often the sign of a no-strings-attached evening out and that she prefers to leave things in a very even way. If she wants to do this, it is up to you whether you wish to accept.

5. Do not be planning deep throat kissing and sex immediately after unless it really is on the cards for both of you. And even then, remember that you should be planning to retain your enigma at least for a few dates yet so resolve not to get into bed just yet. As a guy you should be planning to see her to her cab and then give her a small kiss on the cheek.

6. If you like your date, tell them. You don't need to be explicit but you don't need to be coy either. If you enjoyed their company be forthright and confident and tell them that you would look forward to spending more time in their company very soon. If you can arrange a second date at this stage, then do so but only if you are serious. People do not like being made a fool of or being let down.

7. Do not try to avoid hurting someone's feelings by pretending you like them more than you really do. If you had a good time but won't be seeing them again then better to leave things like that.

8. Keep things relaxed, fun and casual and if you feel they are less interested than you, then keep things open-ended and optional. That way your date will have time to reconsider.

9. If you are a guy see your date safely to a cab or her car and do not make her feel any pressure whatsoever. If you are a girl then ensure you feel comfortable with this happening. If you prefer to see yourself to a cab then do so.

10. Always remember that dating is a stage by stage process and nothing rarely happens instantly. Therefore the first date was exactly that with hopefully many more to follow.

11. And finally but perhaps controversially, don't offer friendship as substitute. This is a date and has it's basis in romance. Ultimately you will find friends in many different places, but you should view dating as the possibility of establishing romance as your foremost priority.

To Your Successful Online Dating,
Dan A.

* Adult Personals * BSDM Fantasies * Free Dating

ThirtySomething and Single: Thoughts for ThirtySomethings!

dan_303@hotmail.com (Dan A.) — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 20:21:00 +0000

Being ThirtySomething is rapidly becoming the crux age for many of us. It's the time when we have matured and have woken up one morning to understand finally who we are and what we are about. We generally have some idea of direction at this age and it is a time for choices and crossroads. Life may have begun at 40 in times gone by but these days your 30th birthday is the age to sit up and take note. It is a time for reflection and self analysis, for checking how we are doing with our ambitions, and coming to terms with the fact that we are passing into a more mature age group - like it or not. I am not suggesting that becoming 30 means getting older or changing our lives but there are few of us who doubt it is not a time when we start to think - think a lot.

Now dating is heavily related to this ThirtySomethings age group because now that careers have been sorted out and a salary is coming in regularly it has dawned on us that we better get a partner to share some of these things with. For women, it may be a time when children become dauntingly high on their list of priorities and the hunt is on for a suitable parent and father. It may not yet be a time for frantic panic but its not far away. We will not get steadily older and whilst some of us will get better with age, most of us start to look a little ragged round the edges so we need to secure the best dating options whilst we still can.

Being ThirtySomething means having more time and money to date properly, to make decisive choices about who, where and what you want to date and to learn from past dating mistakes. By now most of us will have at least on important relationships in the bag though some of us will not yet have fallen in love. We have strong friendships and plenty of shared practical experience in the ways of the heart. But all is not well, dating as you get older becomes increasingly frustrating and tiring. Your base levels for a perfect match have increased and you are becoming increasingly selective. You are tired of meeting jerks and timewasters and people who simply don't match with you, people out for sex and anything they can get.

The other major thing to add is that dating for ThirtySomethings is higher risk. Time is moving on, you don't want to waste more years in another failed relationship so you become determined to get it right so you become more cautious and careful. You are aware of divorce law, so you are also aware that you can meet the wrong person and they could take half of what you worked so hard to achieve. You have become cautious in your old age.

Dating fatigue has set in if you have been single for some time and you feel increasingly frustrated that you will not meet the right person. There is a tiny dread in the back of your mind that it may not be possible to meet Mr. or Miss Right because just maybe they don't exist. Increasingly you may come across unparalleled shallowness, in both sexes. Men can lose their hair in their thirties and women can age in different ways. Suddenly you won't do because you are thin on top or maybe your bosom isn't as pert as it was 10 years ago. You discover that that search for a soul mate may well be bull and that if you are George Clooney or Jennifer Aniston you will always do nicely.

The next issue to hit ThirtySomethings when dating is where to date. In your twenties you were are trance and rave clubs until 3am, or in bars with friends dancing until all hours and still able to be fresh in the office for 8.30am. Now you are 35, it isn't so easy to burn the candle at both ends. You need your sleep, you may not feel comfortable in places surrounded by people a decade younger so you may seek out solace in newer places. It is true that the cafe bar society has grown out of a wealthy ThirtySomething dating society and we can be thankful, but places to date are still not as easy to come by. It seems that clubs for ThirtySomethings are a little forced, and too directed to in your face dating. In other words, subtlety of the dating ritual has been lost, you are being checked out from the moment you enter the room.

Another issue that crops up with dating and ThirtySomethings is the age group we should date. Should we go for younger people, let us say aged 25 upwards, or maybe we like the more mature man or woman, let us say over 40. This really is an issue. It is an issue if we are still wanting children. In our thirties the people we may meet could already have a child or be separated or divorced and don't want another child. Or they may be actively seeking to have a child. If you are a woman you may be looking for a man who will make a good father. If you are a man you may be looking for a woman of child bearing age and therefore may not consider a woman over 40. This is the dilemma. Age starts to become a factor. It is possible you will feel you don't have much in common with someone aged 21 but do find them attractive, on the other hand you may find yourself drawn to the more mature aspects of an older man or woman. You can go in both directions at this age as you straddle the age gap.

The people we meet of our own age gap now have stories to tell, they may have baggage or they may have lost of baggage. We all have some kind of emotional dross we carry with us but in this age group it becomes very relevant. Do we want to meet people who already have a child by someone else, could we cope with children who aren't ours? There are a great many people on the rebound who have just spent years in relationships that didn't end. They could have had a 12 year marriage and be 31 and divorced and vowing never to get married again. Therefore, the people we meet as ThirtySomethings are far more complex than before.

The purpose of this article is not to provide answers but to acknowledge that being ThirtySomething is a very difficult age for dating and to recognize some of the factors that we are all sharing. I for one am 37 and never married so I know this subject well. We will carry on dating with renewed optimism but let us not forget that there are millions of people just like us, all looking for our perfect partner whilst coping with the issues stated.

To Your Online Dating Success,

Dan A.

* Adult Personals * BSDM Fantasies * Lesbian Dating

Should We Take This Relationship to the Next Level or End It?

dan_303@hotmail.com (Dan A.) — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 21:09:00 +0000

ONCE YOU'VE dated someone for a couple of months, you probably have a pretty good indication as to whether or not you’d like to take the relationship to the next level.

Deciding whether or not to move forward can be tricky, but it doesn’t need to be. What follows are several questions whose answers you must not only know about your partner but also find acceptable for the long-haul so you can decide whether or not to move things forward or end the relationship now.

Additionally, your partner isn’t the only one who needs to ‘pass’ these Relationship and compatibility markers. If you yourself have any issues with the following items, it may be wise to investigate your own readiness and ability to be in a serious relationship and discuss your feelings with your partner.

Is This Person Morally Aligned With You? Morals can include things like a person’s character, their level of integrity, and whether or not they are an honest person. While there are many other aspects to a person’s morality that are beyond the scope of a short article such as this one, but hopefully these initial ideas will give you enough meaning to move towards an answer.

For instance, someone who lies, cheats, exaggerates, steals or ignores the welfare of others is a person who most people would find themselves incompatible with. Yet how many times have you dated someone with those personality characteristics? Many of us have, but that doesn’t excuse doing it now.

Examine your partner’s moral code and how it both affects you, and works with you. If there are inconsistencies here, of if you have more questions along these lines, it’s time to have a serious discussion with each other.

Are Your Long-Term Wants and Needs Congruent or At Least Compatible? Frequently we’ll date people thinking that once they make a commitment, certain aspects of their needs and wants will change. “He’ll want to have kids after a couple of years of marriage,” or, “She’ll focus less on work and more on me once we move in together,” are both examples of this kind of skewed thinking.

It’s true that people change. But why get serious with a person who is adamant they don’t want something you are dead set on having, or cannot accept a part of who you are that isn’t going to evolve anytime soon? If your long term needs aren’t compatible, it’s time to end this relationship and save everyone some long term heartache.

To Your Successful Matchmaking,
Dan A.

* Adult Personals * BSDM Fantasies * Lesbian Dating

Safe Dating Tips for Single Women and Men !!

dan_303@hotmail.com (Dan A.) — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 17:18:00 +0000

YOU KNOW, online dating on the web is generally extremely safe, especially friendly and great fun and You Must committed to ensuring that it stays that way. It is safe dating because it is distance dating - simple. You do not come into contact with others initially and this may well provide you with a comfort factor that also allows you to pace yourself and be rightly choosey.

If possible though, you should try and follow a few basic online safe dating principles before deciding to pass over personal contact information to a relative stranger or arrange to meet them. It's all too easy to get a little carried away when viewing personal ads so take things slowly and take a rain check every now and again. The tips here are from Passion.com. They may appear obvious to you but we think that if you do try and follow them, it can only assist you in ensuring you have happy online dating experiences. And you never know, Mr. or Miss Right may be just round the corner. We really hope so.

A. Always trust your instinct, after all it has got you this far in life already.
B. Take your time and view plenty of personal ads first.
C. Do not publish your phone number or email address in personal ads.
D. Don't take everything at face value.
E. Do ask lots of questions when chatting.
F. Ensure you feel comfortable at all times whoever you are chatting with.
G. If someone is abusive to you, block them straight away.
H. Don't provide your home or work address to anyone you have not met.
I. Before agreeing to a date, check that you know as much as possible
K. Don't allow yourself to be talked into anything, whatsoever! You are the one in charge.

Also Consider The Following:

- Take your time to get to know someone. Don't be rushed.
- A patient person will be happy to wait until you are ready to meet
- Make sure you see plenty of photos if possible of the person you make friends with.
- Ask your date to leave a message in your voicemail box before hand if possible
- Chat on the phone for a while before arranging a date, get to know each other
- Always meet in a public place that is well known and convenient to you.
- Always tell a good friend where you are going, and who you are meeting
- If possible phone your friend during the date to confirm all is fine.

And Perhaps Consider These Points Too:

- Always carry a cellular phone on a date if you have one.
- Lunchtimes are good for dating, convenient, and they have a time limit
- Always make your own travel arrangements on a date initially
- Do not accept a lift home on the first date or reveal your address.
- If travelling far, organize your own accommodation and confirm it
- Ensure you have as much information about your date as possible
- Keep your first date to a time limit so that you have an "exit" point.
- Don't feel you owe it to someone to meet them, you do not!

When we think of safe dating by sets of rules like this it can all get pretty silly and scary but the fact is that we are introducing ourselves to strangers without the company of friends. It will always be a wise choice to have a friend close by even if they are sitting at a nearby table. But whatever you decide is best for you, keep your wits about you and enjoy your date !!

To Your Online Dating Success,
'MyDatingZone' Admin
Dan A.

* Adult Personals * BSDM Fantasies * Lesbian Dating

Tips on Choosing the Right Person from the Dating Scene!

dan_303@hotmail.com (Dan A.) — Thu, 08 May 2008 22:23:00 +0000

OKAY, So You date people hoping that one of these days you will come across the right person, the one you will make the greatest romantic connection with. But does it feel like you are going nowhere and believe that you just have no luck with meeting the right people? Feel like you are lost and doomed in this whole dating business? Stop feeling sorry for yourself!

The reality of this situation is that luck has nothing to do with it. If you are like many people, you are probably dating blindfolded, without even realizing that you are doing so. If you feel unsuccessful and dissatisfied with your dating patterns, then it is time for you to take a few steps back to see where things went wrong for you. Think you have been doing everything right? Think again! If you look back, you will be surprised to learn that you got so caught up in just the whole dating experience, that you forgot what to look out for and neglected your true needs and desires. What are you really looking for in a lover? What are your needs and desires? What qualities are important for a person to have and what other qualities are you willing to compromise with and accept?

Getting back in touch with what you are really looking for will help prevent you from staying in the dating scene forever. It is essential that you observe your actions and decisions, making sure that you do not continue to date certain people in the name of dating. If you find that you are not sharing the connection you crave with a person, then you must discontinue with dating that person. Sure, you will feel bad for hurting that persons feelings, but what you must remember is that there is nothing too personal or emotional between the two of you anyway, so just throw that excuse out- and just break it off, in a polite manner of course! This is where so many get stuck, mistaking casual trial dates, with a personal and emotional relationship. This may sound too businesslike for your taste, but this is the way it goes in the real world of dating. If you spend your time trying to spare people hurt or disappointment, then you have been doing it all wrong. This does not mean that you have to be harsh and rude, but it does mean that you have to make finding the right person a first and high priority for, not worrying about what other people with think of you.

Which moves us to the next essential point in dating. While it is normal that you fix yourself up to make a great impression on your date, it is not the most important thing that you should focus on. In fact, so many dating singles out there worry so much about what their date will think, that they totally forgot the purpose of the date- to find out whether or not they will find the connection they are seeking. No matter how you fix yourself and what manners or personality you put on, you will never be in control of what your date will think or feel about the date, so set that unnecessary stress aside. Instead, shift your focus about what you will think about him or her. Observe everything about them. Do YOU like their appearance? Does their personality appeal to YOU? Do YOU feel that you are making a good connection? As you can see, it is what you think that is important here, because you are the one looking for the right person, as well as certain qualities. Leave what they think, up to them!

The Fear of being single forever can cloud your good judgment, causing you to continue seeing a person who you know you are not entirely satisfied with. You will do this because you will try to convince yourself that maybe you have been too picky and being with anybody, even if you are not crazy about him or her, is better than nobody. Stop lying to yourself! You do not have to get stuck with someone you are not entirely happy with, nor do you have to be single forever. Being honest and up front from the beginning is what will get you where you want to be and whom you want to be with. Do not worry that you may scare off someone by telling him or her exactly what expectations you have and how serious of a relationship you are looking for. Look at this way, if they get scared that quickly, then it is a sign that they were not looking for the same thing as you are, so it saves you time and you can then move on to dating someone else.

As long as you get real with yourself, stop making excuses, know what your really want, stick to it and make it clear to the people that you date, then you will be safe from too many mixed messages, misunderstandings and frustrations. When you treat your goal of meeting the right person seriously and important, then you will stay motivated to find him or her, and when you do- you will finally be able to begin the kind of relationship that you have always longed for, needed and deserve.

To Your Online Dating Success,
and Love Match
Dan A.

* Adult Personals * BSDM Fantasies * Lesbian Dating

Confidence in Dating: Why You Should Become More Confident?

dan_303@hotmail.com (Dan A.) — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:43:00 +0000

I ONCE read the results of a survey in a leading woman's magazine that said the number 1 most attractive quality in a man was confidence. Not arrogance, confidence. It took some time to sink in as to what this really meant. Did it mean grabbing the girl in matinee idol pose and whisking her backwards whilst I kissed those luscious lips of hers? Did it mean turning into a caveman never taking no for an answer? Did it mean turning up at the door of the girl next door and whisking her off to Paris for the weekend, though we had hardly spoken? What did they mean by confidence? The quest was on it find out.

Every woman I have asked will answer in a different vein so the answer isn't all things to all men. Confidence, it appears, is in the eye of the beholder. Even worse, confidence can easily be misconstrued so one has to tread carefully. The point is not confidence itself, but its easier to define by its opposite, fear. Fear in men is not attractive. Fear defines a man as not knowing his own value, lacking a feeling of self worth, not being sure of his abilities, lacking in presence and determination. This I may add is very different from justifiable fear that we all face.

Okay, back to confidence. Men are attractive when they are confident said one friend. Another told me, "ooh a confident man makes me go weak at the knees". So I pressed them further. A confident man it seems is one who carries with him a self-assuredness that is most definitely not arrogance. It is a state where a man feels sure of himself and his abilities, knows what he is about, knows himself for what he can do,, what he may be able to do, what he may fail at but does not fear to try. A confident man is in control of his destiny, his future, his career, his day. And to many women that is very attractive.

After all, a woman is looking for a partner, one who will not only match with her mentally and physically, but someone who can drive her onwards, someone who has ambition and vitality, someone who can pass hi self assuredness on to her. A man who is confident is sexy because he is comfortable with himself, he is in control and he is able to make decisions, good decisions. He is confident in the choices he makes and in choosing you (maybe really you selected him), he passes this feeling of being special on to you. Being selected by the right man can be very sexy indeed.

If you are going to date the beauty in the corner and father her children then running away is not a good start, neither is feeling bad about yourself and failing to be able to hold a decent conversation. Far too many men decide in advance of an approach if they are worth of a woman's attentions or not. All too often they believe they are not. Except where alcohol is involved. Men in bars exude confidence, but they also exude beer breath as well! No the fact is that guys who lack confidence prejudge most situations and inevitably take themselves out of the dating fray before it ever happens, hoping, strangely, that the woman will make the first move.

The Fact is, the confident men more often than not get the girl, because the confident man has something about him. I know plenty of good looking handsome men who are afraid to approach women so its not necessarily about looks. No, its about something within. Confidence is about self respect and self understanding. It comes from understanding what you yourself are about and when this happens a sexy man reaches out. Often lack of confidence in men is because of physique and yet it is an issue so easy to fix. 12 weeks in a gym will change a man's life. A fit man is a confident man. Dress is also something that instills confidence. No man has an excuse for not dressing reasonably smart these days as fashion for men is everywhere.

Ultimately we all lose confidence from time to time. People can take our confidence away at work or at home, in partnerships and on our own. Ultimately though these are passing phases. If a man can do one thing for himself in the dating game, that is to learn about his own confidence levels in an honest way and then go about doing something to increase them. Feel good about yourself guys and someone will feel good about you.

To Your Online Dating Success,
and Love Match
Dan A.

* Adult Personals * BSDM Fantasies * Lesbian Dating

Where Is My Soul Mate?

dan_303@hotmail.com (Dan A.) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:55:00 +0000

"What might be stopping you from finding your soul mate?"

Do you worry that you will never date someone wonderful? Do you think love has passed you by? Do you long for a great relationship with your soul mate? When it comes to finding love, do you feel that you are too old or too young; too fat or too thin; too sharp or too dull? Are you just "too" something and that "something" is keeping you from having what you want?

If you say yes to any of the above questions...you are not alone. Many people feel there is some obstacle blocking their chances to finding their soul mate.

Whenever I am confronted with what seems like a hopeless situation, I remember how my mother decided to become a rodeo rider at the age of 50. She was terrified of horses, was a terrible rider, and had advancing arthritis. However, since my father, sister, and brother were all rodeo champions, she said she was tired of being left out.

Her arthritis worsened, she never was a very good rider, but she just quietly hung in there. She got up every morning at five a.m. to ride her horse and rode again at night when she finished working. She went to rodeos and jackpot races every weekend. By the age of 65, she was starting to win. At the age of 83, she was the oldest professional rodeo rider on the circuit. The minute she rode into the arena, she brought crowds to their feet in a roar of admiration. They loved her. Why? Because she would never give up.

Being single is a lot like that story. You have to make up your mind that you are going to do something (set a goal) and then put everything you have into accomplishing it. There will always be obstacles to what you want.

There are, however, warnings about who will prevail over those obstacles and who will not. There are seven warning signs that you will never meet someone, fall in love, and live happily ever after with your soul mate. When you know what the warning signs are, you can DO something about them so you can have who and what you want.

This is how you spell W.A.R.N.I.N.G.

W is for waiting. Waiting for Mr. Right or Miss Wonderful to knock on your door and sweep you away to a life of bliss isn't going to happen. Waiting for the right job, or to lose weight, or to get a new house or car, or even for the holidays to begin isn't going to get you any closer to love either. It is only through taking action to get out and meet people that you are going to move closer to your goal.

A is for assumptions. As a single, it is easy to make false assumptions. You may think that all of your friends know that you want to date and that they would introduce you to someone. But that usually doesn't happen because first, people get busy with their own lives, and second, they often would not be presumptious enough to bring you someone to date. You have to ask. Turn your friends and family members into scouts. Tell everyone that you would like to meet someone wonderful.

R is for running away. Many people want to meet someone because they want to run away from the life they have. This consciousness about life will never bring you the one you want. Do everything in your power to make your life fabulous so you can attract fabulous.

N stands for "No," as in saying no to what doesn't work for you. The word "no" keeps people, activities, and places that are toxic to your system out of your world. It's hard to attract someone wonderful if you are full of poison.

I stands for Isolated. Becoming isolated is a danger for all singles. You need a network of support systems for your health, happiness, and ability to meet others. Guard against isolation.

N is for negative. No one wants to be around negativity. Ask your friends or coworkers how you come across. If you appear negative to others, go to counseling or find a coach and improve your attitude.

G is for growth. Personal growth and insight keep you from getting stuck in a rut. Learning and growing also makes you very attractive. Seek to know yourself. You want to become the person you are looking for. This is how you attract whom you want.

Heed these warning signs. If you recognize any of the above in yourself, change your course. It is never too late or too hopeless or too anything to find the love of your life. Don't give up. Someone waits for you.

Find Your Perfect Soul Mate Today!

To Your Online Dating Success,
and Love Match
Dan A.

* Adult Personals * BSDM Fantasies * Lesbian Dating

How To Use Body Language To Your Advantage When Dating!

dan_303@hotmail.com (Dan A.) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 01:19:00 +0000

"This is the language where you don't need any words. Women have been doing it for hundreds of years - to attract the man they want. Becoming fluent in body language will ensure that you will be skilled in attracting the right man, and sending the get-lost signal to the wrong man."

Eyeing Up the Prize

The more eye contact you establish with the target, the better. Start with some sidelong glances. Then, begin with direct eye contact. Once he turns to meet your gaze, immediately lower your eyes and smile to yourself, this will tell him that you were watching him and are embarrassed that he caught you - a sure sign of interest. Next, be bold and try holding his stare, flashing a small, open-lipped smile.

If there is a man that is giving you the eye and you are not interested, look away from him and don`t look back at him again. When in conversation, looking at the ceiling and all around the room, also shows a definite lack of interest.

First Impressions Count

You leave your home ready to go to a party when you spot your gorgeous neighbor, and he doesn't give you a second glance. Why? Because you aren't dressed your best. When you enter a room, most people look to see who has come in. This is when you have to make an impression. Looking your best will make you feel your best. So make sure that before you leave your front door, look your best, and you never know you might just attract the attention of that gorgeous neighbor.

The Hand Job (no, not what you are thinking!)

Even without direct contact, your hands can send very powerful messages. There are a number of ways to convey that you want to get to know someone. Keeping your hands unclenched shows you're open to him. Using your hands to caress objects, such as the rim of your glass, locks of your hair, or the sleeve of your blouse, in a rhythmic (as opposed to fidgety) manner, can be a sensual act. And for the braver hands, try picking fluff off his jacket, touching him to punctuate a point, or using the "accidental touch" when reaching for the salt.

Hands that are jammed in pockets, busy cleaning glasses, or balled in tight fists are all bad signs. Fingers tapping, drumming, pointing, or wagging are also signals to move on.

Stand Out

Your posture is one of the most telling signals you transmit. An open posture is evidence of an open person. Turning your body toward the man you're conversing with, keeping your feet flat on the floor and leaning forward are actions that show interest. As well, slightly tilting your head, crossing and uncrossing your legs, and thrusting your chest forward give the message that you are interested.

As for ways to send a man packing, crossing your arms, holding a drink high in front of you, turning your body away or resting your feet on their toes will tell a person you are not interested.

...A Few Extra Tips

Hopefully by now, you have an attack plan and a clear idea of when it's time to get down and dirty, or when you're best just to wave the white flag. Here are just a few more tips when trying to perfect your body language skills:

A. You'll know things are going really well when you begin "mirroring" one another's body language and gestures.

B. Don`t tease him by offering more than you plan to follow through. This can lead to very ugly circumstances.

C. Chain smoking, being extremely intoxicated, or having eyes only for your plate of food will not put you in the best standing for the body language game.

D. If you try your hand at it, and he's not responding, abort the mission immediately.…

E. Following him around all night will only serve in making you look needy and desperate.

...And finally, if all else fails, buy yourself a T-shirt that reads, "Looking for Love."

To Your Online Dating Success,
and Good Luck
Dan A.

* Adult Personals * BSDM Fantasies * Lesbian Dating