My Daughter The Lesbian

Romney Must Want the Bully Vote -- Let's Keep Him Out of Office

2012-06-14T08:34:00.002-04:00

Mass. stalled antibullying guide under Romney

In July 2006, former governor Mitt Romney vetoed a $158,000 budget line item that was earmarked for counseling violence victims in the "LGBT community.''

Boston Globe / June 12, 2012 / By Murray Waas and Christopher Rowland

Former governor Mitt Romney's administration in 2006 blocked publication of a state antibullying guide for Massachusetts public schools because officials objected to use of the terms "bisexual'' and "transgender'' in passages about protecting certain students from harassment, according to state records and interviews with current and former state officials.

Romney aides said publicly at the time that publication of the guide had been delayed because it was a lengthy document that required further review. But an e-mail authored in May of that year by a high-ranking Department of Public Health official - and obtained last week by the Globe through a public records request - reflected a different reason.

"Because this is using the terms `bisexual' and `transgendered,' DPH's name may not be used in this publication,'' wrote the official, Alda Rego-Weathers, then the deputy commissioner of the Massachusetts Department of Public Health.

Because the Department of Public Health was the primary sponsor and funding source of the guide, the move effectively blocked its publication. Rego-Weathers said in the e-mail that she had been consulting with Romney's office on the issue.

Stifling the guide's publication was among steps that Romney and his aides took during his last year in office to distance the Republican governor from state programs designed to specifically support gays, lesbians, and bisexual and transgender people. His critics said it was part of an effort to court social conservatives as he prepared for his first campaign for president in 2008.

"Romney put his own political interests ahead of the safety of vulnerable youth,'' said Don Gorton, a gay-rights advocate and author of the 120-page antibullying report, which was not printed and distributed until after Romney left office.

Rego-Weathers, who is now a Rhode Island state official, declined to comment. Kerry Healey, former lieutenant governor, who was among officials who had supported publication, also declined to comment. Healey, a special adviser to Romney's 2012 campaign for president, referred questions to the campaign. Asked to respond, the campaign did not offer any new comment, referring instead to old Romney administration statements from 2006.

About 10,000 copies of the 120-page "Guide to Bullying Prevention'' were ultimately published in 2008, during Democrat Deval Patrick's first term in office. It contains advice for school administrators and teachers on how to curb bullying, cyberbullying, and hazing. A two-page section describes how gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender youth are frequent targets of bullying, and it offers contact information to find help.

The 2006 e-mail objecting to the "bisexual'' and "transgender'' language offers some of the clearest evidence of how some of Romney's actions in office aligned with the goals of socially conservative activists, a key constituency in Republican presidential primary elections.

Many of the nation's largest conservative, evangelical, and profamily organizations-such as the Family Research Council, Focus on the Family, and Concerned Women for America - have opposed suicide prevention and antibullying programs intended to protect gay teens because they say such programs promote homosexual activity.

"These programs were pushing a radical agenda. They were trying to indoctrinate people on the issue of sexual preference. Romney did the right thing by finally pushing back,'' Kris Mineau, president of the Massachusetts Family institute, said in an interview.

In a highly publicized incident in May 2006, Romney threatened to shut down the Governor's Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth because it issued a press release with his name on it promoting a parade to celebrate gay, bisexual, and transgender teens. He quickly backed off the threat. In July 2006, Romney vetoed a $158,000 budget line item that was earmarked for counseling violence victims in the "LGBT community.'' The appropriation was intended to prevent sexual violence and rape, and also for suicide prevention.

The move to block the bullying report immediately followed Romney's threat to shut down the Gay and Lesbian Youth Commission. On May 20, 2006, the commission chairwoman, Kathleen Henry, e-mailed Rego-Weathers to say that "she had heard from the lead'' on the antibullying guide project that "the plan is to go to print next week on the authority of the lieutenant governor.''

Rego-Weathers e-mailed a subordinate the same day raising the objections to "bisexual'' and "transgender'' references. "I have raised this issue with the governor's office and am awaiting final clearance,'' she wrote. "If the printing must go on, I may have to ask that our name be taken off.''

Days after that exchange, Gorton said in an interview last week with the Globe, he was told that the draft would have to undergo a more extensive review process than previously planned. He said the administration's real reason was not disclosed.

"They said that the review was going to be a few weeks, but it stretched out over a period of seven months,'' Gorton said.

In October 2006, Romney spokesman Eric Fehrnstrom, speaking with Bay Windows, a newspaper that covers New England's gay community, denied that the delay had anything to do with politics.

"This is a lengthy document which bears the name of the governor's office,'' Fehrnstrom said, "and it is undergoing the normal review that a document of that length would go through.''

Ejeris Dixon, deputy director of the Anti-Violence Project, a nonprofit advocacy organization in New York, said of the actions by Romney: "Transgendered people face extreme poverty, discrimination, and violence. When public officials refuse to enact legal protections or policies to assure their safety, they are further facilitating these things - intentionally or unintentionally.''

The question of Romney's sensitivity to antigay bullying was raised anew recently after the Washington Post published an account of Romney's days in prep school in 1965 when Romney allegedly held a fellow student down against his will and, along with classmates and to the cheers of others, forcibly cut off his long, bleached-blond hair. The student was gay, although not openly, and it was unclear to some whether Romney knew the boy's sexual orientation at the time. Romney said he could not recall the incident but apologized nonetheless.

Gorton, a longtime gay rights advocate, began work on the antibullying project while he was cochairman of the Governor's Task Force on Hate Crimes. For Gorton, the guide was a personal mission. As a gay teen from Mississippi, he attempted suicide because of his isolation and social ostracism. "You don't have any allies,'' he said. "Nobody to take your side. Nobody to understand.''

When Romney cut funding for the hate crimes task force early in his term, Gorton sought sponsorship and support for the unfinished guide from the governor's Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth. Henry, who was then the commission's chairwoman, said in an interview last week that the administration's objection to use of the terms bisexual and transgender smacked of "censorship, and stigmatization, and prejudice.''

Romney's moves against the commission and the bullying report appeared to be part of a transformation for the one-term governor. When he ran for Senate in 1994 against the late Senator Edward M. Kennedy, Romney boasted that he would be a more effective and outspoken proponent of gay rights than Kennedy: "When Ted Kennedy speaks on gay rights, he's seen as an extremist. When Mitt Romney speaks on gay rights, he's seen as a centrist and a moderate,'' Romney said at the time.

2012-06-06T23:55:00.003-04:00

Animal lover? Check out: all4thefurry1.com

Please vote for Seven and Two Thirds. We'll make a movie!

2012-04-02T02:08:00.000-04:00

Barney Frank Video

2011-09-11T22:17:00.002-04:00

Barney Frank to LGBT Teens: You Are Making it Better

Homophobic Rage Over Nothing

2011-08-31T22:53:00.003-04:00

Chastity Bono

Chaz Bono

Apparently, transgenders are not allowed to dance in public. I don't remember that from Footloose, do you?

Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are Day!

2011-08-03T12:26:00.002-04:00

The enthusiasm for change and support is growing, quieting the opposition, encouraging the masses, and in the headlines every day. I was a small child back in the sixties to understand it fully, but my father read five newspapers each day and watched the news faithfully, so I knew there was an excitement in the air surrounding Civil Rights of which today's long awaited and hard won growing acceptance of the gay community is reminiscent.

I have always felt that the closet must be a dark and scary place in which to spend any time at all, let alone live one's entire life, so as a mom and a friend, I am thrilled that people I love and admire are gaining ground our ancestors could not have imagined. The next logical step is upon us, and while I know it is easy for an onlooker to claim something is necessary and needs to be done, you know I am right when I say it is time to come out. It is time to stop caring what people think about you because if they think you do not deserve their respect because of who you are, they do not deserve your respect because of who they are.

Reading the headlines, there are obviously more gays than even science has even contemplated and, after all, it is science, isn't it? It has always been science and society has allowed people to think there was something wrong with them because they are gay. It is time to show society the strength in numbers that will surely surprise us all. Everybody knows at least one someone who is gay and probably several somebodies who are, but are still in denial, so do the math. That's right, billions.

Just because you grew up believing there was something wrong with you doesn't make it so and now that you see that things we grew up believing were myths, admit that there is no Santa Clause, the world is not flat, and there is nothing wrong with you. Being gay is no different than being left handed or having green eyes. Do not take it personally, but as weird as you believed yourself to be because you listened to others, you are just one more boring scientific fact. Get over it. Now make people listen to you. Come out. Let's start encouraging a massive escape from the closet. Let us start Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are Day! Let's pick a day and pass it on.

Michele Bachmann Wants to Pray the Gay Away at Our Expense

2011-07-21T11:41:00.001-04:00

The so-called gay conversion therapy has been denounced by the scientific and medical communities as ineffective, and potentially dangerous, but an investigation earlier this month exposed that this hateful practice is used by the "Quality Christian Counseling Clinic" owned by Michele Bachmann and her husband -- a clinic which was recently discovered to have received over $137,000 in federal Medicaid funds, in addition to $24,000 in other state and federal funds.

Bachmann, after denying for years the hokey Quality Christian Counseling Clinic practiced ex-gay therapy, to pray the gay away, we now learn that it is being done at our expense. Our taxpayer dollars shouldn't be funding it.

I just signed a petition asking The Dept. of Health and Human Services, which oversees Medicaid, and the Minnesota Dept. of Health, which distributes the funds within the state, to immediately pull public funds from Bachmann's clinic.

Learn more and sign the petition here:

http://act.credoaction.com/campaign/bachmann_clinic/?r_by=24522-90413-5Uvjbhx&rc=paste2

Michael Jackson

2011-06-26T01:27:00.000-04:00

Can you believe he's been dead two years already?

Marriage Equality a Go in New York

2011-06-24T23:00:00.000-04:00

Undecided Republican Senator Stephen Saland was the deciding vote. He said, "While I understand that my vote will disappoint many, I also know my vote is a vote of conscience." He continued, "I am doing the right thing in voting to support marriage equality.

Please read the entire article.

The New York Vote on Marriage Equality

2011-06-24T03:33:00.000-04:00

Have all the New York residents in favor of marriage equality called State Senator Farley who has come out against gay rights to tell him your vote for Senator depends on his vote for marriage equality? If not, and even if you called once, please call Farley again @ 202-684-2471.

Barney Frank: The Bravest Man in Washington

2011-06-23T16:11:00.000-04:00

Yes!!! I love this guy. He's the only gay Congressman brave enough to admit he's gay and wants to legalize pot too. He is the bravest man in Washington.

Oh, Barney

Check either link above to see what Barney's been doing for the American people now.

A Republican With a Conscience

2011-06-19T13:23:00.000-04:00

Click on the Title Link above to read about the Republican New York Senator standing up to Gay Marriage opponents.

Much Luck to the Saudi Women Standing Up for Themselves

2011-06-19T01:16:00.000-04:00

Click on the title link above and read about CEDAW. You are in our thoughts. Go Girls!!!

The U.N. Finally Joins Us in the 21st Century

2011-06-18T01:38:00.000-04:00

See the following link to learn more.

U.N. Backs Gays

New York too is trying with much difficulty to legalize same-sex marriage, but it is only a matter of time before we're looking back on all the unnecessary fuss being made over including everyone in their basic rights. That which should have welcomed everyone long ago, but because some people misinterpreted what was written in their favorite book, they have been allowed to make others live by their rules.

It's good to see the brave women of Saudi Arabia have been inspired to stand up for themselves. I wish them much success on that long, hard road.

To Love, Honor & Cherish Is Not Up To The Government

2011-06-15T21:19:00.000-04:00

New York should have been the first state to sign. Let us finally right the wrongs this unfairness allows and give everyone the same rights. When gays are given the opportunity to pay half the taxes we all pay or to obey only half the laws, they can stop expecting the same rights, but I haven't heard about that, so pass the law or expect the granddaddy of all discrimination lawsuits to wind up on your lap and I will write the petition for it.

Tell Your NY Senator to "Vote Yes!"

Judge Ware Upholds Judge Walker's Ruling on Prop 8

2011-06-14T19:46:00.000-04:00

This ruling won't be accepted by the same self-righteous buffoons still fighting the legalization of abortion, but it is a step in the right direction.

Prop 8 Ruling

Gay Girl Post Update

2011-06-12T23:51:00.000-04:00

It appears that a message on the blog I featured the other day is apologizing for a hoax getting out of control by the blog author, Tom MacMaster, who had been posing as an American and Syrian female school teacher blogging under the name of Amina Abdallah, and nickname of The Gay Girl announcing his/her own kidnapping. Read further about this story using the link below or in the title above. My apologies for falling prey to this hoax at your expense.

Update

It Gets Better Project

2011-06-11T20:35:00.000-04:00

Don't let other people and the stupidity of their parents let you feel bad about yourself. There are people who understand and, with the anonymity of the internet, you can find someone to listen to you. Their are so many people out their in the very same situation your are in right now and they would love to hear from you and by helping them, you will help yourself. Find them on line, on Twitter, Google search, and the title site. No matter how final things may seem, it does get better. My situation was slightly different, but bullies are bullies and I'm so glad I held on for that better day when I didn't think there was ever gonna be one, because there was so much just waiting for me. I never thought I could honestly say that I lead a charmed existence, but I do and so can you. Believe in yourself when no one else will. It does get better.

It Gets Better Project

Gay Girl Abducted

2011-06-07T14:23:00.000-04:00

Syrian Amina Abdallah

Syrian Amina Abdallah, an English teacher and outspoken blogger who goes by the nickname "Gay Girl" has been abducted after having become a popular blog personality in one of the world's less tolerant political areas. Read the full story above and be enlightened.

How to Accept a Close Friend's Sexual Orientation

2011-06-03T01:23:00.000-04:00

How to Accept a Close Friend's Sexual Orientation
edits by:Katie R., Rob S, Flickety, Sondra C (see all)
Article
Edit Discuss History

This article covers a very important topic in today's society. Gay men, lesbians, bisexual and transgendered people are getting more exposure than ever before, yet people still find themselves not knowing how to react when someone they care about comes out to them. This is our hypothetical situation: someone you know has come out to you and you are not sure how to accept it. Here's how to gradually accept your friend or relative.
Contents

1 Steps
2 Tips
3 Warnings
4 Related wikiHows
5 Sources and Citations
EditSteps

1
Relax for a minute. Take a deep breath and remember what you thought and felt about your friend before he or she confided in you: what were the qualities about this person that you liked or admired? Why or how did you become friends? Remember that your friend still possesses all of those qualities. Or, if this is a relative, it's not just blood that binds you, right? It's also who this person is inside that you love, and that person has not changed at all.

2
Avoid becoming fixated on sex. There is enough talk about sex in the media and everywhere else. Homosexuality is not defined by the mere act of sexual activity with someone of the same sex. It is the internal, intrinsic orientation of the person. Try to personalize it: are you, a straight person, constantly thinking of sexual contact and sexual activity? Okay, so maybe you think about it a lot. But it isn't the only defining thing about you, right? Maybe you're an athlete, an artist, a movie buff, a father, a daughter, a cousin - these are all the things that make up you. Your identity is not just about who you're attracted to or sleep with.

3
Put yourself in your friend's position. Think about what you would do if you lived in a world where heterosexuality seemed strange, where it was not the norm. Now consider what your friend faces each and every day: he or she must find ways to exist and thrive in a society which sees him or her as out of place. It can make your friend feel lonely and isolated. LGBT people have to edit themselves constantly to avoid having confrontations, making people uncomfortable, or seeming unprofessional. Having a friend to count on, with whom he or she can be truly real and open, would be a tremendous blessing.

4
Talk about it as long as you need to and listen to your friend. Talking it out can help you process your feelings and attitudes about it, and it can help you make up your mind about how to deal with it from a position of understanding and knowledge. Respect your friend's limits. If he or she doesn't want to talk anymore or not right now, let it go, and ask again later if there is something you feel you really need to know.

5
Trust your friend to respect your friendship. In some cases, your first instinct may be to think, "Hey - just don't try anything with me." It's a kneejerk response, and you should try to relax about it. Your friend will not necessarily put the moves on you. Again, think: Do you put the moves on everyone of the opposite sex? Of course you don't; neither will your friend. However, that's not to say your friend would never develop feelings for you. If that should happen, once again, trust your friendship, simply tell him or her that you are straight, and stand by that - and do not waver from that. You may find yourself feeling flattered that your friend is attracted to you, and become curious. Even if you wish to experiment or dabble with a bisexual encounter, never indulge your curiosity - that is taking advantage of your friendship. See the warnings and tips below for more on this.

6
Accept that change is not an option. Research shows that sexual orientation is heavily influenced by genetics
[citation needed]
. So-called "therapies" most often rely on 'aversion conditioning' in combination with drugs. This generally has the effect of suppressing personality and free will, along with suppressing the urge for sex (of any kind, usually). It may be possible to convince an LGBT person that he or she is no longer gay - for a while. However, the recidivism rate is staggering, and when the so-called "former gay" returns to his or her original orientation, there may be a spouse and perhaps even children caught in the devastating wake of the failure of the treatment. Acceptance and compassion are far more beneficial than attempts to re-direct a person's sexual orientation.[1][2][3][4][5][6]

7
Support your friend when you are needed most. He or she trusts you enough to reveal a very deeply personal part of him/herself to you. Even if you disapprove initially, don't take this trust lightly. If you were in a car accident while doing something your friend would have disapproved of, would he or she have automatically abandoned you? At the very least, receive the news with calm, consider it carefully as you talk it through, and then reflect on it. If you eventually decide that you cannot maintain the friendship, tell your friend. Even if you disapprove, your friend deserves your careful, thoughtful consideration. Just remember you are important enough to your friend that he or she exposed themselves to you.

8
Keep your friend's confidence. Even after all this reflection, if you feel like you can't deal with this and still maintain a friendship, remember the history you had as friends and be respectful of your friend's privacy, even though you have decided to sever the relationship. It's not necessary to broadcast the reasons you decided to let the friendship go when you speak with others - simply say "we were in different places in our lives, and we've drifted apart."
EditTips

If your friend should confess that he or she has feelings for you, or is attracted to you, don't make a big deal of it. There are very few people who are unable or unwilling to accept an answer of "I'm flattered, but I'm straight." Frankly, the most common reason these situations get out of control or go bad is when the so-called "straight" decides to work out his or her curiosity with the gay friend. That is a bad idea. If you're curious, go meet someone else to experiment with. Do not do it with your friend, especially if he or she expresses some feelings outside of friendship for you. Nobody likes being used. Keep things clear and open, and don't dabble with your buddy. Of course, if it turns out you really do have some feelings for your friend, talking it out with him or her can really help - it may be that your friend is willing to take the chance with you. But definitely, you should make it very clear that you are interested in experimenting because of your very deep feelings, and that you are not sure where those feelings will lead, if anywhere. Be as honest as you know how.

Hugs usually work. If you don't know what to say, sometimes just a kind touch will let your friend know you're in his or her corner. Think of a time when you were telling someone something really important they may not have fully understood: like you were moving out of the house for the first time, or you were breaking up with someone, or you were engaged. Even if the person you were talking to didn't approve or was confused by what you were saying, a simple hug, that says "I'm here for you" could work wonders.

Talking also helps iron out what you don't understand. The last thing you want to do if you don't understand something is to leave it a mystery. Ask questions and you will get answers. But do remember that your friend is just one individual and can't speak for all LGBT people - he or she will have an opinion, but it may not be a blanket answer for all LGBT folks. If your friend doesn't seem to know answers to the questions you ask, then try to find them together.

Educate yourself: understanding the issues and the history of the LGBT community can make things easier to understand and eventually easier to accept. Some great resources include: glbthistory.org, glbtcommunity.com and Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

If your friend is dating someone, meet that person. This shows you have genuine interest in your friend's life. Also, meeting your friend's significant other will give you the opportunity to meet others like your friend, which may help you gain more of an understanding for the way your friend feels.

Find a PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians And Gays) group in your area, they are a great source of support. Many local high schools and colleges now have organizations that are supportive of gay and bisexual men and women, and transgender people. Not only can these groups help you find compassion and understanding for your friend, they can also help you by giving you a new peer group who can truly relate and support what you are going through in the wake of your loved one coming out.

If you are worried about him or her hitting on you relax. Most of the time they won't (other than in jest). If they do just politely tell them no thanks like a member of the opposite gender that you have no interest in.

Remember, how you react says more about you than it does your friend. If you have negative feelings about your friend's orientation, feel uncomfortable or challenged in any way, take some time to sit and think about how you are feeling and what beliefs you have that make you feel this way. Address these issues by seeking out someone to talk to, finding information or getting some support. Take responsibility for yourself, your feelings and your beliefs.
EditWarnings

Take the time to process the news before you react too strongly. The way you feel about this news today may seem really overblown tomorrow. Even if your initial reaction is negative, try to simply take the revelation in for now. Today, simply absorb and process. Tomorrow or the day after that, you will have gained new perspective on the entire issue.

Avoid the temptation to trivialize, criticize, or demean your friend, or to insist that he or she will "get over it." It's not a phase.

Don't hit on your friend, or send mixed signals. It's not cool to flirt with your gay friend just because you feel safe doing it, unless it's clearly a joke and everyone watching understands that. Your friend is not your personal toy, and you shouldn't use him or her as a plaything.
EditRelated wikiHows

How to Come Out As Gay or Lesbian
How to Come Out As a Gay or Lesbian Teen
How to Accept That You Are Gay
How to Know if You Are Gay
How to Understand Gay and Lesbian People
How to Defend Traditional Marriage
How to Tell if Your Best Friend Is Lesbian
How to Learn to Accept a Gay Marriage
How to Decline an Invitation to a Gay Wedding for Religious Reasons
How to Defend Your Views on Gay Rights
EditSources and Citations

A guide to dealing with people who come out
PFLAG
↑ U.S. Surgeon General - Call to action to promote sexual health and responsible sexual behavior
↑ The American Medical Association - Policy Number H-160.991 - Health Care Needs of the Homosexual Population
↑ The American Psychiatric Association - COPP Position Statement on Therapies Focused on Attempts to Change Sexual Orientation (Reparative or Conversion Therapies)
↑ The American Psychological Association - Resolution on Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation
↑ Journal of Gay & Lesbian Psychotherapy - Haworth Medical Press, Volume 7, Issue 1, pages 55-73. Date accessed: 2007-10-13
↑ Royal College of Psychiatrists - Special Interest Group Report - Report limited to the origins of sexuality and the psychological and social well being of lesbian, gay and bisexual people.
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A Postage Stamp For Harvey Milk

2011-05-31T18:20:00.000-04:00

A stamp for Harvey Milk seems the least that can be done for this brave murdered man. Won't you please go to the site to which the link above will bring you and sign the petition to make it so? Thank you.

My Daughter The Lesbian

2011-05-24T00:55:00.000-04:00

One of my proudest moments was when my daughter was confident and trusting enough to come out to me and her father. Was I proud she is a lesbian? Not especially, but there are an awful lot of worse things she could be and the fact that she was able to come out of the closet without being afraid to do so told me I had done my job well enough to earn her trust. The closet always seemed a dark, scary place that must be a terrible one in which to live in fear of being found out. I've always pitied those who live there and I never wanted that for any of my children. Society is going to be hard enough on her; she didn't need any problems from her family.

It always struck me that the phrase "sexual preference" is one of the most insulting terms I ever heard spoken by people I thought intelligent before I heard them say it. I have long been of the impression that homosexuality must surely be physiological if it were anywhere near as common as I believe it is. If it was a matter of choice, as inferred by the phrase, why would anyone opt to be part of the most maligned segment of society? No, I don't think choice has anything to do with it.

Finally, science is coming out -- no pun intended -- in favor of genetics. As an atheist, I am amused when I think of the Christian dilemma. If the "gay gene" is identified in utero, they will have to decide between homosexuality and abortion. Snicker-snicker.