My Dirty Kitchen Floor: Pages of a Dubiously Pissed off Housewife

Stuff.

2012-01-23T16:07:00.005-06:00

Stuff. Damn, stuff.I wanted some stuff for the kid. He has fallen in love with Jay Jay the Jet Plane. Jay Jay the creepy face weirdo blue jet plane. Creepy cartoon. But since he loves it already and can sing a lot of the theme song I felt it my duty as a mom to acquire him some late 90s Jay Jay the effin' Jet Plane stuff. And the only place to find antiquated PBS cartoon toys is in the land of

Dear Friday the 13th. Glad that shit is over...

2012-01-16T08:52:00.001-06:00

Dear Friday the 13th,So after the day that I had... it has come to my attention that you may be in cahoots with that bastard Murphy's Law and the mother fucking Universe. Yeah. I'm on to you fuckers. The day was set up right from the beginning when the MIL made an appointment with a real estate attorney about that bullshit house who told them both the same damn thing I've been saying for almost

The Great United States of Hoodies for the Homeless Project OR Donna needs a good excuse for some fun

2012-01-06T15:52:00.007-06:00

It's been a while since I have been consistent in blogging, but I promise you all that will change today...with this posting and this project. Donna is going nationwide! Read on...I used to have a fabulous hooded sweatshirt from my trip to Vancouver a number a years ago. I loved it very much...so much that I alternated between it and another hoodie every other day during my first few years in

If You Give a Mom a Muffin By Someone who is not Donna

2012-01-06T09:57:00.003-06:00

--IF YOU GIVE A MOM A MUFFIN-By Kathy Fictorie (Who I wish I knew because she is a genius)If you give a mom a muffin, she'll want a cup of coffee to go with it. She'll pour herself some. Her three-year-old will spill the coffee.She'll wipe it up. Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks. She'll remember she has to do laundry. When she puts the laundry in the washer, she'll trip over boots and

Today the Kitchen, Tomorrow the WORLD!!

2012-01-04T18:53:00.001-06:00

Here's to the New Year!

2012-01-02T10:14:00.001-06:00

Bring it on 2012! You ain't got nothing on Donna!

5 Selfish things I just can't have right now...for a while...for quite some time

2011-12-10T10:42:00.008-06:00

It's nearing Xmas and since I haven't written for a while I thought I'd share my selfish want right now list with you seeing it doesn't matter who sees it, I'm not getting any of it anytime soon. But I do want all of these things terribly and I would just like to say screw you universe.1. A professional eyebrow waxing. I am soooo sick of plucking. And when I get sick of it, it gets out of control

Quick and Easy Half-Assed Recipe: Simple Dimple Sunday Apple Cake

2011-11-13T15:17:00.006-06:00

Simple Dimple Sunday Apple (Cheapass) Cake1 box yellow cake mix1 can apple pie filling3 eggsBeat together for 2 minutesPour into greased and floured 8 x 12 pan(I used an overly floured bundt pan)Bake at 350 for 30 -35 minutes or until nicely brownedSprinkle top with 1 Tbsp sugar and 1/2 tsp cinnamon(I keep a shaker of cinnamon and sugar mixed)ENJOY!PS: I sure did crack it. I eff up everything I

I can't believe I post shit like this sometimes...

2011-10-18T17:42:00.007-05:00

I can't believe my freakin' honesty. Damn, Donna.I promised and here it is...I figured I best wait on this posting to see if it really something I wanted to post, and after last night's dinner, well, fuck it.A little background info for you, peaches, on our situatoin with the house, how I got into this gawd forsaken mess, and my current feelings about my mother-in-law if you didn't already know..

Wordless Wednesday: A Silent Sunday repeat: Sunset in reflection

2011-10-05T10:52:00.000-05:00

I should've stabbed a hobo instead of reading all that drivel...

2011-09-29T09:01:00.007-05:00

Hello, peaches! A big howdy do to you. If you're looking for today's post you will find it over at Insane in the Mom brain where I am guest posting today. Yeh.I wrote up some drivel and passed it off as good. Does it matter? She posted it! Go check it out.INSANE IN THE MoM BRAINAnd check out Insane in the Mom Brain on the Facebook. It's really a good time had by all (if you can ignore the

I HATE THAT GAWD FORSAKEN HOUSE!!! And my MIL as of late.

2011-09-27T22:05:00.013-05:00

My husband and his mother own this effin' house where we used to live. It now sits empty. It's a long story and I'm sure if you look hard enough you'll find some blog posts on the subject of the house and my MIL, and all my lovely thoughts about this cursed situation. And if you wait long enough I will likely write a whole post on the subject of my MIL and that mother fawking house. In fact, I

Just a refresher...in neighborly delights.

2011-09-21T21:17:00.003-05:00

The purpose of this repost is to give you newbies, and some old biddies a back ground on the upcoming post for tomorrow...Ah. Neighbors. Either you love them or want to kill them. Sigh. Ladies, reacquaint yourself with this story from last year. It takes place at our old house last year before we moved our asses out of that craptacular neighborhood. We seem to have some crappy luck with

Almost Silent Saturday: These are a few of my Favorite Things...but not the Po Po, that we could have done without!

2011-09-10T22:00:00.005-05:00

We had a lovely day at the Zoo today.If you can ignore that my old skool BFF of the past 23 years got the cops called on us before I even managed to get out of my Jeep. Sigh. Only she could pull that off. Some things never change.She was saving a spot for me since parking was a living hell when a woman driving a fairly large truck yelled from her window, "THERE"S NO SAVING SPOTS!" and

How to make my day... OR How to easily make a delicious frozen coffee drink

2011-09-09T11:16:00.006-05:00

1 ice breaking blender3 tbls of sugar1 packet or tbls of flavored instant coffee4 cups of frozen cubed coffee4+ tbls of liquid creamerHappy Coffee Drinking, Ladies!Love, Donna Freakin' ReedxoxoxHave you joined On the FacebookEveryone is welcome, but not everyone will survive.Round table discussion begins most nights around 9:30 pm central time.BYOB and a story to shareFind me on the Facebook to

Donna Freakin' Reed: Revistited! Do you believe in fate?

2011-09-05T23:28:00.005-05:00

So, as usual, I'm mad at the Neanderthal for being a neanderthal. Sigh. Well, I'm not mad anymore at least, but when he walked out that door tonight, I'll tell ya...yet within a half hour I missed him terribly. I always do.We've joked since we met that it was fate that has brought us together...like Mickey and Malory Knox in Natural Born Killers. Aw. Memories...Sigh...love is sure grand.Is it

5 years of Marriage Celebration Neatly Packaged without a Bow

2011-08-29T22:20:00.006-05:00

After a week or so of neither of us really taking the reins to plan something wonderfully fantastically celebratory for our 5 year anniversary we ended up just going out to dinner. But not just any dinner, a delightfully enjoyable dinner. Really! It was the first time since our last anniversary that we went out for an extra nice dinner. It was such a special occasion with such memorable

Five years, Five Years Today.

2011-08-27T14:10:00.010-05:00

HERE'S TO 5 FUCKING YEARS! 8.27.2006 And here's to five fucking more! Hey may be a jerkface neanderthal jackass fuckface mother fucker, but he's my jerkface neanderthal jackass fuckface mother fucker. And I sure do love him...mostly. Damn jackass totally had me at motorcycle then he handcuffed our hands behind us... Cheers, Donna xoxo PS: This was our first pic taken

My Kitchen is my Prison because the Universe tells me so...

2011-08-25T14:03:00.005-05:00

Hello, peaches. I thought I'd drop you something to read while I continue on with my redecorating of the kitchen. And I found this post from March to say just about exactly what I was going to say today...so I figured you could just read that. What? Nothing wrong with a good repost when half the bitches in the kitchen likely haven't read it...especially when nothing has really changed in 5

Pardon my Dust! It's not just dirty this time, I'm redecorating!

2011-08-24T18:08:00.004-05:00

I've been redecorating. Over the next few days I'm going to do some experimenting. Things will be changing fairly frequently on the page, so if you see something you like...SPEAK UP!! Give a lady your honest opinion!! Also may I propose a question to you readers, if you were to meet Donna in the flesh, what would you expect her to look like? A 1950s Housewife? A 70s Stay at Home Mom? A

Wordless Wednesday: Bad Ass Bitch

2011-08-17T16:35:00.003-05:00

Me. Changing a tire. Me. Just me. In honor of my ex's birthday tomorrow. I hope he has a lovely day with his boyfriend, and I bet that bitch is still holding the light and letting someone else be the man. And ladies, as always, be careful what you wish for. Cheeers, Donna Freakin' Reed xoxox

I have been to Hell, and it is in the grocery store

2011-08-15T23:13:00.005-05:00

I once enjoyed planning out dinners, making a list, cutting coupons, wandering down the aisles as if I didn't have a care in the world and all with my sweet precious adorable little boy. Oh, he's so ceewwwwtt the old ladies would say and pinch his little cheeks. I would hear people say to the person next to them, 'Oh, what a darling little boy,' as we strolled by with me smiling proudly and

Wordless Wednesday: Jellybeans, seriously, Jellybeans

2011-08-10T13:39:00.001-05:00

Cheers,Donna Freakin' ReedXoxox

Donna Freakin' Reed: Revistited! The whole low down...

2011-08-07T23:03:00.008-05:00

I've had a number of new readers recently who I would like to give a big hearty welcome! Thanks for joining us in the kitchen. I began writing this blog to not feel so alone in my situation, and most of you find it and tell me that you are so happy I write and it makes you feel not so alone in your situation. I'm glad it helps. We're all having a hard time in our own way with our own situation,

An Evening of Offense with Donna Freeakin' Reed: THE BLOG POST

2011-08-04T15:00:00.011-05:00

Whenever I get newbies in the kitchen I like to get us all together on the Facebook for a night of tried and true culling of the pack typically known as, "An Evening of Offense with Donna Freeakin' Reed." During these evenings I pull it all out, hold nothing back and really tell it like it is, at least life according to Donna which includes the *rules* of the kitchen. So I thought today since