Birdladyfly's Nest

Busy Busy Busy

2012-01-05T23:05:00.001-05:00

I was up early (12 noon) and decided I felt energetic enough to get some work done!
Ray took me out to eat when he got off work. Then out to pick out the next paint color for the remodel of the bath in the hallway. Also tried to find a new shower curtain. Found the paint color sort of, but not the curtain. I decided once and for all I would go thru each of the moving boxes until I found everything. Voila!! I did. Hey!
Cleaned out my old desk, found a story i wrote about Bruiser. Cried...
Then I moved around the dog beds. Kelly seems to like the bed, but wants to sleep with her head under the bed.
I always start and finish my day checking Facebook to see if there are any new pics of my kids and gran kids.

2012

2012-01-03T19:25:00.001-05:00

This year is going to be better!
I'll get a handle on the finances
Lose weight
Keep lovin my honey
Spend more time with all my family
Spend more time with friends
Start doing some of the activities I've always wanted to do.
Happy New Year Everybody
It is going to be a better year--- do you hear me Nicolas!

Back one week in time.

2012-01-03T19:24:00.001-05:00

Our first Christmas living together.
Merry Christmas

What is hair for anyway!

2012-01-03T19:22:00.001-05:00

Ok I got a wild hair today. Went to a new salon and got my hair cut off short short short.....Ray likes it and he looks at me more than I look at myself. I'll show it to you as soon as I decide how I feel about it.

My day in the end!

2012-01-02T23:33:00.001-05:00

Finally celebrated New Years day! I was not feeling very good over the week end, so tonight celebrated shrimp, cheese ball and fancy crackers. Woo-hoo! It was a good day in the end. Being with my honey and two large dogs. Warm inside, snowy on the outside.

What do you do with an old blog?

2012-01-02T23:29:00.001-05:00

I have not graced this blog since 9 months ago, I guess I was too busy being confused by life.
Many things have changed. I have moved to a new city, new house, and am in a comfortable loving relationship, domestic partnership with a great guy.
I have a new granddaughter in a far away place. Spending more time with my oldest son and his children.

Damon Kent my romance hero

2010-08-12T21:29:00.038-04:00

I love listening to Damon Kent!!
Hot! Hot! Hot!
CDbaby.com/cd/damonkent

OK Weight Rebate!

2010-05-09T16:57:00.002-04:00

OK, OK, OK, I did real well this week in dieting. Today is Mothers day. I decided I would not do any work today. I ate Pizza for lunch. Oh I gained two pounds this week................Blah humbug! no pics needed of this. Birdladyfly

Weight Loss update

2010-05-03T00:49:00.001-04:00

I did put in 10,000 steps daily through out the weekend at work. Lifted weights twice. This girl has lost 10# in 10 days............admittedly all water wt! But a girl can celebrate!!!!!!!!!
SASSY that is me!

I am watching what I eat, at least more than I was before.

I hope to be riding this guy soon. He will appreciate it if I lose wt fast!

Birdladyfly
P.S. I'm thinking if I report in to you folks it will make me more accountable. I need the support!

Movies, Books and more

2010-05-02T00:01:00.000-04:00

I recently saw two movies, both comedies,

but one lacked the merriment that was promised.

I enjoy Tina Fey and Steve Carell, but the script they worked with or maybe just the flow of the movie did not work for me. It was what I call a quiet funny. I smiled through out the movie, but it did not bring any laugh out loud moments, that, I need to get a good return on my money! I was disappointed because I was looking for a much more enjoyable time. Give it 2 stars..Date Night

Date Night

The funny thing here is I went into the second movie prepared for a slow, very slow comedy. I will admit Jennifer Lopez is not my favorite actress! Not to be mean, but her acting and choice of scripts has left me not really wanting to attend any more of her movies. To my surprise I found myself laughing out loud through out the movie. At one point during a birthing scene (not of J Lo's, but of a women in her support group) I was laughing so hard I was crying. Myself and the rest of the crowd in the theater. Being an old Labor and Delivery nurse probably added to my merriment, but everyone seemed to enjoy it. Truly this was a very nice surprise of the day. I advise you to overlook the advice of critique's and enjoy yourself. Truly a date night movie.............
Date Night [Blu-ray]

Books on my night stand this week.

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life
This book was suggested by my meditation mentor Dr Kathleen Beck-Coon in Indianapolis.

The Birth House: A Novel (P.S.) I am just starting this and it is a story about Midwives. The modern Nurse midwives that I have worked with I respect and admire a eat deal. I am just getting into this book. I will let you know about it later.

A study of the constitution which i am reading to better debate the subject. :)

Of course at the end of today I doing mindless reading of People. I desperately need to know about my friend Sandra Bullock and her new baby son.

Birdladyfly

April 17,2010 Nick and Jessie's Wedding!!!

2010-04-30T11:05:00.002-04:00

Photos by...........Ravyn Stadick Thanx Rayvn!
@
http://ravynstadick.com/

Miss Eva Todd..................................Eva and her best friend Anna
flower girls.

Aiden Todd, their little home grown groomsman.

Nick and Jessie Todd

The wedding party.......................Mr and Mrs Nick Todd!!!!!!

It was cool and slightly windy, but the air was full of warmth, love, and family.

Birdladyfly

2010-04-29T22:59:00.002-04:00

My Lawn, my little farm.

(yard)

I love farming (mowing) the lawn, with my John Deer!!!!!!!
I feel like a farm girl when I mow. I need to buy some chickens, i have always liked to be around live chickens, farm animals, but alas I was placed in the wrong womb! I was raised in the city. Now I have a little over 1/2 acre to play with. I have raised all kinds of birds when I did wildlife rehab. Chickens I wonder if i could have chickens here ? I will have to check into that.

Looks like my mower!

The lawn looked so pretty when I was done. i do need to clean out the fence row. Fence row! makes me sound more like a farm girl.

OMG!!!!!!

2010-04-20T12:00:00.000-04:00

Yikes.......I stepped on the scale last night........gained 15# since Christmas. It is time to get serious.......
Birdladyfly

A Men A Pause

2010-04-12T05:23:00.001-04:00

As you know my dating experiences are a hit and miss. Mostly miss with my dating of late being less than satisfying. One just not really interested enough. the other thinks I am too liberal or to uncomfortable to be around. Of coarse with the last just remember in the last moments of your life it will not be politics you think of it will be the relationships you may have missed. Enough said...sigh...........
In the last couple of weeks i have received several inquiries from men from a couple of dating web sites. maybe a sign from God? Maybe just a quirk of the software of life. for you see my profile is hidden on these sites. i rechecked my settings...yea, yea it is marked hidden from view. Do I start dating again....... I am not sure ,as much as I love the male company ( in an intimate but live down the street way....see earlier posts) do I really want to go down this road right now. No pressures, no expectations....pet the dogs, sleep, work, pet the dogs... sleep work. This chubby middle aged girl is just not so ready. I want to get more of my ducks in a row or at least gathered in a group. Diet start exercising....blah blah blah....Sorry i have to go pet the dog.

Birdladyfly

When will I ever grow up?

2010-04-11T07:00:00.036-04:00

This is not about what you think it might be. I have grown up....I am a person, responsible , more mellow than I use to be, but I still remain now (or else have returned to) the person I was inside when I was a teen. However, this time instead of being a wallflower without life experience not sure which way to go, i am an adult in her 50's with endless opportunities and feeling overwhelmed. I wanted then to travel, live out west, climb mountains, explore. I then was very afraid and without my own funding , so instead I lived at home went to college in the same town I grew up in. In high school I was the shy girl who read books on the bus. I read because I love reading, but also to avoid talking to the boys on the bus. In college I dated more, became a nurse and met my future husband. When, I wonder, will I grow up? I look around my empty nest and see the emptiness. Not lonely empty, but the vast endless possibilities. I am as overwhelmed at not knowing what to do, where to go, how to rejoin the flow of the world, as I was in high school. I am 50(damn it) ( a subject I have spoke of often here.) My only dependents, two large dogs, one cat and 3 fish. I enjoy my job, love my kids and have a small hand full of very close longtime friends. I just helped move my parents an hour away. My oldest son and his family only live 20 min away. My youngest lives with his wife in Dallas. As much as I love my children and their families, they are very busy with their lives. Lives that are normal. You know, normal, getting up in the mornings and going to sleep at night. My life.....going to bed in the morning and getting up at night and going to work puts a kink in visitation. No finances to travel, or explore. The funny thing is, I do not know exactly what i would explore or where I would travel, but just like as a teen I look out at the world and all it's possibilities. So overwhelmed with the possibilities, the maybes of life I sit stagnant, unable to move or advance. How can I possibly feel this way I scream at myself in my head......stay tuned for the next installment.
Birdladyfly

It Is A Busy Week!!

2010-04-11T06:07:00.000-04:00

Birdladyfly

Just a brief run down fo this week. Work Sunday off Monday, work Tuesday and Wednesday. Youngest son and wife arriving here on Tuesday night, Wedding of my oldest son and his longtime girlfriend on Saturday. See more of Matt and Liz before they return to Dallas.

Nick and Jessie come with ready made flower girl and ring bearer
April 17th

Eva the flower girl

Adien the ring bearer

I Love The Rain

2010-03-28T04:56:00.008-04:00

Epecially a quiet steady rain. It holds a special place in my heart.

I enjoy thunderstorms in a different way. The dramatic thunder and lighting, the fury of nature.

However, a quiet rain calms the world, helps it rejuvenate

I am sitting in my bedroom reading, this very early morning, when I realize it is raining. The house is quiet. I turn off the light. The dogs are sleeping next to my bed. I slowly walk past them, to the window, looking at the drops on the glass. I decided to open it even though it is a cool night.

I still can not see very far beyond, but the cool breeze across my face brings the smell of the rain. It calms me, as it should. I feel alone surrounded by nature's calming influence. All is right in my world. I am a survivor, I am strong.

Birdladyfly

I will only say this one time.....today. i want to live a long and healthy life!

2010-03-22T10:10:00.004-04:00

For those of you whom read this blog frequently, you know how I feel regarding this subject. As always; I am looking for the one right guy to have a close intimate relationship with, but who lives somewhere else...... At least for a start! Dr Oz stated this last week. It adds 6 years to a woman's life if she has 200 orgasms per year. Do you all get my drift. Birdladyfly

I met a new friend this weekend.

2010-03-13T20:04:00.006-05:00

I saw an old friend last night, and met a new one. His name is Turbo.....I really liked him and had a good time with his owner. I forgot to take a picture of him so instead here are more pics of Bird. He looks sort of like Turbo. you have to look sideways sorry.

Birdladyfly

The Big Move!

2010-03-13T16:41:00.018-05:00

We did it! Last Tuesday the family helped Mom and Dad move to a new condo down the street from Jan and Tim. I was in charge of Mom, Dad supervised the movers, and Jan and Tim provided the eats! I love M&D's new place and would love to downsize also, if only i owned smaller dogs...... Well this is the story or so it goes,

The old house, bat cave and all, gone, gone, gone. Hopefully to give another family enjoyable memories.

My parents lived in this house since, I think 1964. A very long time. So with a little sadness and a little bit of excitement we helped them move. My Dad, once he makes up his mind he is going to do anything, he does it quickly. No dwelling on sad things, not my Dad. As he left the house that day his comment, the ever practical man said ..........it is just a house nothing more, and he drove away. Never mind this is where we grew up and celebrated many holidays and birthdays.

What do I remember, not much. Little snatches of memories. Selling girl scout cookies and going to trick or treating thru the neighborhood, my friend Betsy, playing cowboys and indians with the neighborhood gang. Almost all the folks I knew from there are long gone. My Dad ,being the sentimentalist that he is, has thrown or given away almost all of their things of any meaning, much to my Mothers dismay, but Dad is the one left to do everything around the house since my mother became wheelchair bound. He does not have room for "useless stuff."

So anyway, Dad and I loaded up my car and Mom and the two of us headed to the new house. I was put in charge of taking care of Mom for the day to free up Dad. We said goodbye to the house and went straight to Micky D's for breakfast.

Packing my car with last minute stuff and Mom.

In no time we arrived to the new place.

Mom in the new kitchen. A bluebird trail on the fence row in back of the new house. Mom was excited about that. Jan (my sister-n-law) came over and kept us company, helped wipe out the cabinets, and to make the bed.

The Buebird trail.

Jan arriving to assist.

Boxes quickly stacked up!

The great butterfly caper.....We had to rope Jan into it to complete the caper (so do not blame her. She participated against her will.) The family room...Their first fireplace!

What I did not take a picture of was all the food. My brother Tim,who has the title of main cook,put together a chicken stew, Jan baked bread in the new house for supper----and the smell was wonderful. My greatest (well almost) wish now is for a bread maker. Not to mention the wonderful neighbor whom brought over entire meal. It is always nice to have neighbors like that. The new home in Planfield, Indiana. We plan to have many new memories as a family in this new abode.

Love to all,

Birdladyfly

Love an Elusive Thing

2010-02-27T02:34:00.000-05:00

Love is an elusive thing to me. I have loved deeply a long time ago, but that love was never returned. Since then, if I have an inkling of those feelings I panic and run. Once again I started feeling something and I walked away. Well he walked away first...... Why is love so elusive for so many? I have seen true love in the eyes of an elderly couple who had been together for a long time. I have seen it in the way two young people look at each other. However I have never seen it in someone who looks at me. Now two things:Do not feel sorry for me,really, and I am survivor; 1-I'm ok being alone,at this stage of life it is simpler that way, 2-I'm not talking about love of my family etc. Oh there is a difference. 3-nothing is worse than caring for someone and that feeling is not returned. That could be worse than not finding that true conection. So should I ever really look again? Tell me your thoughts. Also Tell me, what do you do with all the Diet Dr Pepper, when no one wants to come over and drink it? That is the true question of the week. Not all that other stuff. As i am typing this I am watching Men of a certain age.....I can not stop laughing!! Life is good. Birdladyfly

Joy Without Worry, I Love Them So.

2010-02-24T13:17:00.003-05:00

from Kelly and Emma

What I know

2010-02-23T12:30:00.004-05:00

WINTER

I love the snow there is nothing more beautiful.

Here are some Pics i took not too long ago.

Enjoy.

Birdladyfly

Right now I am so tired.

2010-02-08T11:32:00.004-05:00

My body is not thanking me for working so many 12 hours shifts in a row. One more to go. They said it is my turn to be called off first and it will probably be slow today. Even though I need the money I am really glad. I have to wait until 5pm to know for sure. The last few days have not been good ones. My check was 12 hours short in pay, really my fault but a lousy way to start the weekend. I was going to buy some much needed things, but again they will have to wait. i had to run a bunch of errands this morning thus a late start going to bed. I bought some groceries, but as I was lifting the hatch my gallon of milk dropped out and broke into pieces on the drive......white ice....I went back to the store. I really wanted some milk. A great way to end the weekend. Two things bother me right now. The first is my inability to find direction for my life. When you graduate from high school many kids have no idea what they want to do. Not my problem I new I wanted to be a nurse from a very very young age. I find myself now in that boat not knowing what I want to do with my life. Surrounded by water, several oars and no map. It is beginning to frustrate me. I do not want my life all planned out, but I do want goals... The second is *****. My oldest friend Mary who knew me through my first marriage and all the subsequent relationships that I have had can tell you my pattern. my longest relationships were with men whom i have enjoyed and cared about, but not loved. I was comfortable, the sex was good and I was not afraid. In the few times I did start to feel more than that it caused enough pain, fear and panic that I would always walk away. Literally i would immediately stop seeing them. I panic at the first true feelings. If i realized that this person could really hurt me, break my heart ,more than once (every time) I would simply tell them I could not see them anymore that it was not possible for us to date anymore. This is the first time I have felt the fear in a long time, this guy could cause great harm and pain to my heart. Where is dating this guy going to do for me. Here are two concerns. He seems very secretive about his life, not in the he maybe married kind of way, but in the I am not going to let you into my life kind of way. He wants to talk, but turns around and pushes me away. Why do i feel the way I do about him. What chances am I willing to take. I am 50 I thought I would have this all figured out by now. I am pretty open about how I feel, what I am thinking...lets face it I explain everything generally in my blog to the world. I know I want to get to know him better, see him more,maybe be apart of his life. I need to know if he feels at all that way. Our getting closer then pushing apart emotionally,,,,,do I take a chance that he will also take a chance to see where this will go. We are our own worst enemies in this adventure.

I find comfort when I return home.

2010-02-08T02:59:00.003-05:00

It seems I always come back after a disappointment. ***** called me a few weeks ago and we discussed going out again. I did find out he was seeing someone else when we got together a couple times. Is he one who is always looking for someone else? Maybe, not sure. I was warned that if he did not treat me well last summer why would I think now would be any different. It is not. In his defense just before we were going to go out again a devastating event occurred in his life. I saw him twice in one week at the viewing and the funeral. We did spend time together last weekend. I enjoyed being with him. He says he will never be the same again which is surely true. However this does not excuse him when he treats others in a bad way. i have no idea what is going on in his head except he does not care if he hurts others right now. i wonder if he treats his family and friends that way. I do not need a man in my life ever, but I did want him in my life. I think he has made it clear, he does not need or want me in his.