My Five Cents

Always faithful

2012-02-20T20:40:00.000+08:00

Are you passing through a testing.
Is your pillow wet with tears?
Do you wonder what the reason,
Why it seems God never hears?

Why it is you have no answer
To your oft, repeated plea,
Why the heaven still is leaden
As you wait on bended knee?

Do you wonder as you suffer,
Whether God does understand,
And if so, why He ignores you,
Fails to hold you in His Hand?

Do black doubts creep in, assail you,
Fears without--and fears within,
Till your brave heart almost falters
And gives way to deadly sin?

All God's testings have a purpose,
Someday you will see the light.
All He asks is that you trust Him,
Walk by faith and not by sight.

Do not fear when doubts beset you,
Just remember - He is near;
He will never, never leave you,
He will always, always hear.

Faithful is He who has promised,
He will never let you fall,
Daily will the strength be given
Strength for each and strength for all.

He will gladly share pain with you,
He will gladly give you peace.
Till your tired and weary body
Finds its blessed, glad release.

When the darkened veil is lifted,
Then, dear heart, you'll understand
Why it is you had to suffer,
Why you could not feel His hand

Giving strength when it was needed,
Giving power and peace within
Giving joy through tears and trial,
Giving victory over sin.
So till then just keep on trusting,
Through the sunshine and the rain.

Story of my life.

2012-02-20T20:28:00.002+08:00

Heather Janssen's Jump.

2012-01-27T21:32:00.001+08:00

I had so much trouble dealing with finding courage,

feeling you were in this as much as I was.

Then affection was there but my confidence dropped,
When you walked by I wouldn't stop.
My own actions, made you fade away.

It's better to say something than to say nothing at all,

It's better to give it your all than to think your coming on too strong,
And shy away.

chorus:

So I'll jump in this like a fearless fighter jumping off a cliff into the water,
And I'll walk straight in, live it in the moment, let it move how it should, no assumptions,
And I'll let go of everything my heart held captive.

happy birthday, daddy

2012-01-25T23:28:00.003+08:00

It's hard to believe that it's already been a year.

anyway, happy happy birthday, daddy. : )

I really hope you're happy now.

So, Black Forest again? : )

2011-11-27T23:25:00.000+08:00

joyceeting Joyce Ting 5 people within 1 year. Don't know how much more I can take

So another lodgian has suddenly left us. His name is Jeremy Tan. He's a year older than me and I don't him that well personally but I know his circle and his family. The shock stage has passed, the tears has passed, now's just the empty hollow feeling you get and you don't know what to do next.

My summative's on Friday and I've got 3 systems to cover. I feel like I'm still not understanding everything fully and when I do questions, I'm like whaat. So that's not good. I still got some time but then, this happens and I really don't feel like studying tonight.

My friends from high school started talking about how if one of them did suddenly pass away as well, that they just wanted us to know that they loved each of us. So I figured, I should write something for everyone, in case my time should come and God decides that He thinks that I'm too good for medicine or Jesus is getting old and He needs fresh blood. (I am totally kidding by the way, humour is the only thing that keeps me going. so please no thunder from the skies striking me anytime soon. )

To my family, know that I love each of you, obviously duh. We're family! Though we may have our setbacks, at the end of the day, we're all family and blood related and all. And we've been through a lot together so that will never change. No matter how old I get, I always feel like the same small fat chubby kid who is always being spoilt by everyone, around you guys. I have just one small request to God, that if my time does come, I hope it comes after my mum, cause I don't think she can handle another personal tragic loss. And also, I hope that you'll grow close to God, despite whatever circumstances that gets thrown your way cause at the end of it all, He is what it's all about. So don't shut Him out. You need Him.

To my high school friends (OMG), I love you guys. You'll always be the group that I can click best with and just be whoever I want to be. Joel, Phoebe, my oldest friends. You guys have proven to be my angels, time and time again. Only you guys understand me without words. I know, no matter how far, no matter what, I can count on you two, especially you, Phoebs. You're my true sister in life. Joyce, Peg, Rachel, I love you all. I love it when we're all back together and just laughing at Joel or Phoebe (it's always one of the two hobos). I pray that your lives will be fruitful and amazing and fantastic and that you'll all end up marrying and having beautiful children AND still keep in contact with each other.

To my uni friends, I'm glad we've all grown closer in this few years studying together. Yes, we have had our ups and downs but we're still friends through it all. I pray that you'll all graduate and be wonderful medical professionals someday and we'll always remember it all started in IMU, with each of us. I hope our dreams of making our children play with each other, intermarry each other, or whatever ridiculous ideas we come up with next, will come true one day. I wish all of you the utmost happiness and blessings.

Please know, no matter what happens, don't ever walk away from God or turn away.

When I was at my weakest, He was there.

When I was at the midst of losing my mind, He kept me sane.

When I broke down, He just listened.

I'm still discovering God everyday, and I'm still learning but I understand now. I understand that we all have an expiry date, so stop acting like you're going be here forever cause you're not.

Stop hating, stop fighting, stop resisting. Life is so much more than that.

If the wind blows hard enough, the fire within you gets extinguished. Game over.

So, don't you think you should be happy while you can?

Do the things you love,

love the people around you,

be a source of joy for someone:

just be happy.

You only get one shot.

Tenth Avenue North - By Your Side

2011-11-16T01:39:00.003+08:00

Why are you striving these days

Why are you trying to earn grace

Why are you crying

Let me lift up your face

Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love

Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough

To where will you go child

Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side

Wherever you fall

In the dead of night

Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side

They swallowed the grave on that night

When I drank the world's sin

So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you

I want you to know

That I, I love you

I'll never let you go

Music has this amazing way of just smacking you on the head and going

"Oi, this is you la. Listen!"

Simple lyrics yet amazingly meaningful.

Megan Nicole's Beautiful

2011-11-10T00:03:00.002+08:00

I wanna be blown away

I wanna be swept off my feet

I wanna meet the one who makes it hard for me to breathe

I wanna be lost in love

I wanna be your dream come true
I wanna be scared of how strong I feel for you
Just call me beautiful, Call me beautiful
Call me beautiful, Call me b-e-a-utiful

Heather Janssen's An Angel's Kiss = rocks

2011-11-06T01:16:00.004+08:00

When the road is gone and i cant find my way
Heart broken not worth it at the end of the day
When the world is shaking making me insane
I fall down and i cant get up again.
When im lonely in a crowded place
When im in need of a familiar face
When it hurts to look back, im scared to look ahead.
I can look beside me you're standing there.

You know you grow up (especially if you're from a Christian family),

you grow up hearing all these stories from the Bible during ICF classes,
you know the famous ones like
Abraham & Issac,
David & Goliath,
Jacob & Esau
Jacob & The Technicoloured Dreamcoat
Samson & Delilah

Last night, I finally pieced the family tree together. Well, sort of.

I was reading about King Saul and how he disobeyed God's instructions.
Instead of fulfilling the command, Saul killed everything except the animals of best quality.
He kept them for whatever reason and then later said he was going to use them as sacrifices to God.

I was thinking, what's wrong with that? Saul had good intentions, right?
Yeah he sort of bent the rules a little but he didn't mean any harm.

Well, wrong. It says God got really angry and disappointed in Saul,
to the point where He even regretted making Saul king.

Why?
For a while now, I've been wondering about a few things such as this:
What is it exactly that God expects from us?
is it our good intentions? our sacrifices? our offerings?

So the wonderful thing about going to church is, you get to meet people who probably have already been in your shoes before and considered the same questions.

So I asked my leader and she told me to read 1 Samuel 15.

"Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices

as much as in obeying the LORD?

To obey is better than sacrifice,

and to heed is better than the fat of rams.

²³ For rebellion is like the sin of divination,

and arrogance like the evil of idolatry.

Because you have rejected the word of the LORD,

he has rejected you as king.”

How many times have I foolishly tried to justify my actions?
Just so I can make myself sleep easier at night,
just so I can feel like a better person, or worse: a better Christian.
How many times have I spoke to someone and gave them my advice, as if they weighed like gold?
As if I was an expert and all knowing, all powerful.

The thing is, we all bend the rules sometimes,
just so we can 'adjust' God's word into our lives,
hence, it's a win win situation for all.

"oh I watch child porn but, hey at least I don't abuse kids."

"oh I have a mistress, but so did Abraham. And hey, Abraham was God's most faithful servant!
And I only have one! Some of the big shots in the Bible had hundreds!"

"oh I haven't spoken to him in years, but hey, at least I didn't kill Abel like Cain did."

"oh I tithed last week, but hey at least I'm even tithing. That guy doesn't do it at all."

When put on trial, we are so defensive, so quick to judge or pass the blame to someone else.
Always comparing, always measuring the weight of our sins with others.

I don't know, maybe it's just me.
But I got really worried when I thought about Saul; how God took away his crown.
What about me? I've disobeyed Him more times than I can remember

Has He taken my 'crown' away?
What blessings have I missed as a result of my rebellious ways?

Then, my wonderful leader gave me another scripture which is Joel 2.:25, to reassure me.

²⁵And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.

Basically, saying that after the people repented, God said He'll make up for the lost time.

Hmm I kinda forgot the point I was trying to make.
Nah, maybe not every post needs a point.
:)

Tyler Ward's Good Life

2011-11-01T21:09:00.001+08:00

Completely addicted to the melody of this song.

Sometimes there's airplanes I can' t jump out
Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now
We are god of stories but please tell me-e-e-e
What there is to complain about

Oh this has gotta be a good life
This has gotta be a good life
This could really be a good life, good life
Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire 'night
This could really be a good life
A good, good life

fact #2

2011-10-28T20:09:00.000+08:00

The Wonder - Color of Clouds

2011-10-15T23:40:00.003+08:00

fact

2011-10-15T23:29:00.000+08:00

I am not a nice person.

What's wrong with me?

2011-10-09T01:14:00.002+08:00

I'm at this point in my life, it's come to a point where worship songs are no longer just meaningless words you sing during church services anymore.

I find myself unable to mouth the words sometimes because of what they mean.

My friend posted this song up and he shared something similar like about how hard it was to be so selfless like this song portrays. For me, it was a different song entirely that really left me speechless and completely emotional, and this was a song that we sang during the Red Alert Camp, which is this:

It was strange cause I really couldn't just say the words or sing the song.
I just stood there, and thought of everyone I knew, and what I would do if all of them walked away.
So yeah, I just stood there, feeling overwhelmed with all these emotions. And I guess the reason I couldn't say the words, and really mean it, was because it meant something huge:

it meant that though none come with me, still I will follow.

So a ton of people's faces and names just popped into my head and I began to weep, because it hurt so much to even bear the thought of losing anyone of them to the enemy.

I don't know what other term to use to refer to the bad guy,

I don't like the "S" word or the "D" word, so "the enemy" it is.

So it took me a while, and I still couldn't say the words. So I just prayed and prayed for the salvation and safety of my friends and family, especially the ones close to me. I prayed and prayed that God would be fair and merciful to all of us, despite our shortcomings, our arrogance, our pride, our deceitful and immoral ways, I prayed that He'll still give us a chance to repent and go to Heaven, every single one of us.

I don't want to get left behind, nor do I want anyone I know to get left behind. Sigh. I can't bear to imagine even just the thought of it. I think eventually, I slowly began to whisper the words, and mean them. It was difficult, it still is actually, but it was good in the sense, it made me realize that God is God. He's not someone to follow just because everyone's doing it or because your best friend's doing it. He's God, and you should really decide if you want to follow Him or not, and if you do, start acting like it.

I learnt soo much from the Red Alert Camp. I even had this interesting encounter with someone, on the day we were about to leave. But it's late so I'll save that for another post. But yeah, this random post about this song just came about after seeing my friend's facebook. :)

Ah.

Update

2011-10-07T23:53:00.000+08:00

Reading my previous posts, I realized, I sound a tad bit sad and deep. Haha oh well.

Just finished playing basketball for IMU Cup and.. WE WON! :)
Hee hee! It was so intense though, from the moment the referee blew his whistle, we just went for it!

I don't know, I thought I was pretty rough with my partner but everyone said I was the most gentle player on the court. Hahaha which is kinda weird. But oh well. I didn't think they were too rough or played dirty. It's basketball yo. You're bound to push around a little.

I would post pictures but it's all in Amelia's DSLR. Oh well. One more big day tomorrow morning = Netball. Eek hope all goes well tomorrow! :) waking up at 6am is not fun. Ah gosh. Hopefully, we'll come back with a gold and make Pegasus proud :)

This is just a babble post, just to dust off my lonely neglected blog. :)

Hope you're all well. :)

Rambles

2011-09-07T00:43:00.000+08:00

I HATE it when people blame God for everything.

I've been feeling so far away from God recently, what with my absence from Eaglepoint Puchong for 3 months. Has it been 3 months? I think so. Wow, that's a lot of Saturday nights wasted. I haven't been skipping but with the semester breaks and holidays and my flight always being either on Friday nights or Saturday mornings, I've missed out on a lot of SNL services, sadly.

I went to a church in Kuching but it didn't feel homey and it wasn't very welcoming.

I don't know, maybe it's cause I haven't been in touch with God for so long.

I know God can be found everywhere, not just in church, but to be honest, it's the only time I ever fully just spend some time with Him.

Despite having 24 hours of free time in a day, I still can't find some time to just hang out with God and read the Bible.

It's ridiculous I know, I was never an avid Bible reader. Hopefully, that will change though. I know what it's like to feel God's presence around you, to see God everywhere you go in your daily routine. And it's FANTASTIC!

During those few weeks after Victory Weekend, I felt so close to God.

I literally thought about Him often and talked to Him quite often too.

Then, there was that Easter Celebration in IMU which was absolutely moving.

The dance performance by June and the others was so touching, I teared up a little.

I could feel and see the love the performers had for God in their swift and graceful movements.

It wasn't about showing off their dance skills but, it was more like a personal message to God which really really touched me.

Anyway, it was my own fault, for some reason, that feeling died down.

And here we are.

I miss SNL so much, because I miss my friends there, that familiar comfortable atmosphere, the worship time, and the witty yet incredibly interesting sermons the pastors gave.

I felt so content, peaceful, happy there.

Regarding the first line of this post, last night, for the first time in a long time, I opened my Bible and read it. Mine's really helpful in the sense, the front few pages are categorized to different sections like "Making Decisions" or "Temptations" and under it, there'll be a few verses that explain it.

And I've been feeling very confused regarding this decision that I have to make really soon, well actually the deadline's this Thursday.

And I still don't know what I should do.

I've been praying for an answer cause I figured, you can't go wrong with God.

And the first time was hurtful enough. This time, I want to do it right. So I opened my Bible and read under "Making Decisions", I found this verse.

Proverbs 3:3-6

"If you want favor with both God and man, and a reputation for good judgement and common sesne, then trust the Lord COMPLETELY.Don't ever trust yourself. In EVERYTHING you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success."

Appropriate,right? Which is why I'm still waiting for God to give me a definite clear answer regarding my situation.

And for my nagging feeling of what's delaying God from replying my prayer is, I found this verse.

Jeremiah 30:13

"You will find me when you seek me, if you look for me in earnest."

Sigh, I'm not a preacher or anywhere qualified enough to be telling someone what they should and should not do, and if I come across as someone who does, then I sincerely apologized.

For I am flawed,

very very very very flawed.

I've turned my back on God so many times and I still have doubts and questions that I wish God could just answer for me.

So when I tell you a verse or something I've read from the Bible,

I'm not showing off to your face that

"Oh, I'm way holier than you",

because that is a complete lie and a joke, for that matter.

I'm telling you because I just so happened to have read something that is along the lines of the problem you're facing.

I'm not rubbing it in your face,

I'm telling you cause it just so happened I read it.

And I remembered it.

Which is a miracle.

Because I'm really forgetful.

I don't see the point of keeping something away from someone if you think it might help that person with their situation? Especially if it's someone you care about.

I am not a holy person.

I don't think anyone will ever be, because no one can be as sinless as Jesus was.

Wow, I do sound like a preacher. Freaky.

But it's just my opinion.

I used to think people who preached God or talked funny like with 'God this' and 'God that', were nutjobs.

I thought they were just trying to tell the world that they knew the Bible and were holy.

But then, I came back to God because I met a person like that.

I came back to God because I was jealous of the change that occurred in that person's life after he came to accept Christ.

I was jealous, ashamed and embarrassed that after so many years of knowing God, my spiritual life remained stagnant whereas this person, whom had just accepted Christ, was already well on his way up the Heaven-chain, so to speak.

Basically, I mean, he was progressing in his faith and spiritual life.

It pains me to know that this person is no longer the same person that made me want to change my spiritual lifestyle.

It pains me to know he's hurting and he can't even talk to God about it.

It pains me to not know what his future may be like.

It just hurts.

Kerrie Roberts - Keep Breathing

2011-08-21T02:10:00.003+08:00

Keep breathing, you'll make it,

Don't give in, you're not done yet

Sometimes all that you can do is to keep breathing, and believing,

Don't let go,

Just hang on tight a little longer,

When you feel like you're dying,

Keep breathing

Don't give up, cause you are not done yet.

RIP Ms Teo 2011

2011-08-18T11:07:00.000+08:00

Another person's light has been extinguished this morning, and this person is none other than my Form 5 English teacher, Ms Teo. As usual, the initial reaction is hock, a state of being completely speechless. Then, come denial immediately after. Then, maybe anger will drop by, then the temporary numbness for everything before you.

But this wasn't the case for me, when I heard via facebook how my once witty and full of life teacher, had left the Earth, forever.

In a way, I'm glad I didn't run into her in Normah while I was doing my attachment, cause I didn't want to lose the last memory I have of her, that is, making some sort of sarcastic comeback to the guys when they were being rowdy.

Then, again, a small part of me wished I had seen her, like Eric did when he was attached to the doctor in charge of her, Dr. Lau.

He got to see her twice, one conscious, happy, liveful and the next, semi conscious, vulnerable, uncommunicative.

This was all in the span of a week.

When I spoke to her doctor during lunch, he said she was sent home to be with her family and when I asked how long he thought she had?

He replied with a sombre, "Days."

Well, he made a mistake. It was more like a 'day'.

I sincerely hope that wherever she is now, I pray that she's in Heaven, sharing a joke with the angels or meeting my dad for the first time.

If she is in Heaven, I hope there's golf, cigarettes and beer for her there too. :)

Never forgotten.

It's funny how life can just come and go like that.

It's like.. one day you're seeing a person and the next, they're gone.

You can't see them anymore, or ever.

It's as if they went on an extended holiday somewhere around the world, and they're still here, just you can't ever see them again.

Yeah, a holiday, that's what it feels like.

Cause death, death is strange to me.

I still can't fathom how one loses someone.

I don't know Ms. Teo all that well, but she taught me for two years and now,

she's just gone.

I don't think I'll ever understand death, until when it maybe comes for me next.

Life seems so fragile nowadays, it feels like everyone you know is dropping down from left and right. Celebrities are dying,

childhood friends of friends passed,

family members have gone,

that childhood family man you knew so well is gone forever too.

It's like death is really ringing in the year, these past few years.

I remember a time when I could go for years without ever knowing anyone passing away,

I wish it was like that again.

As for her family members, I pray that the card we're preparing for her,

provides them with some comfort and that they'll know that her time in Lodge, was never spent in vain.

Her students still remember, love and will always cherish the precious moments when we had her to ourselves for 40minutes in a day.

And I'm truly sorry for your loss.

Ohhhh

2011-08-16T21:22:00.002+08:00

Sleeping and TurbinatesThe turbinates are important for the sleep mechanism. When you sleep, you are supposed to turn some 50 times a night. This prevents you from getting pressure sores. What happens is that you sleep on the right side, with the right turbinate down. After a time, this right turbinate fills up with fluid, and expands so that it pushes against the septum in the mid line and this makes you turn on the left side until that side fills up and turns you again. This is why when you sleep cramped, where you can't turn, you get achey muscles and bed sores.

Was reading up for tomorrow's session with my ENT surgeon, Dr. Khoo when I came across this.

This is one of those things that makes you go "Ohhhhhhh."

haha well, for me anyway.

Anyway, totally embarrassed myself today sigh.

But I'm definitely learning something from him so that's good.

Saw him draining an abscess from a TB gland = GROSS.

He just sliced a small incision and basically, started 'gorek-ing' the crap out of that lump.

Arghh..

we were talking earlier and he said that medical students have to choose between two categories when they want to pick a speciality,

namely to choose the medical aspect of medicine or the surgical aspect of it.

I think I'm definitely more of a medical person, like a GP or physician.

Argh then he sutured up the incision.

I don't know what's with me but,

I never liked the idea of stitching skin up together.

Argh.

What kinda pathetic medical student I am uh?

Hmm.

apocalypse?

2011-08-12T23:58:00.002+08:00

Was reading Max Dubinsky's blog and his recent post struck me.

Have a read, if you got some free time on your hands or just read it anyway if you're reading this already.

I'm not saying he's right but just listen to his opinion cause I think he has a lot of interesting points, which involves all of us.

You don't have to believe it,

just read it and let me know what you think. :)

The paragraph that made me think:

"Thinking about the way things might end is going to stop you from living today. Thinking about the end of the world, wondering what might happen tomorrow is going to stop you from living out God’s plan for today. And that’s precisely where the enemy wants you. So concerned with tomorrow, with whether or not you are saved, whether or not you’ve done enough, whether or not you are good enough, is going to stop you from being fishers of men. It’s going to stop you from doing the work at hand. It’s going to stop you from living. Truly living."

joshua radin = king of mushy lovesongs

2011-08-10T22:38:00.000+08:00

When I find you, I'll find me.

im a grown up yall

2011-08-10T00:04:00.000+08:00

okay so i lied. I swiped the dustmites and took off again. Ahhh

but I have a good reason. I'm coming towards the end of another week attached to Normah Hospital in Kuching.

For my first week, I was attached to one of the two cardiologists there, Dr. Peter Wong, whose actually really good friends with my dad.

So I think I had that advantage in the sense, he felt was awkward as I did when we spoke for the first couple of times.

Haha I was always just walking through conversations between my dad and him, with the typical "Hi Uncle", "Bye Uncle" and smile politely as I scurry off to watch the last few minutes of Bones.

So he doesn't know me per say, but I guess he recognizes my face.

So it was a bit of a shock when I introduced myself to him on the first day, as he wasn't even informed of the arrangement.

Haha but he was nice and let me tag along behind him like a lost puppy.

It.Was. Exhausting.

Few things I learnt so far being attached to Normah:
1) No one walks. Everyone either runs (ie. emergency) or ~~walks~~ -no sorry, more like- breezes across the floor. I seriously had some difficulty keeping up with him on the first few days. At the end of the day, my feet were really really sore from all the ~~prepping for a marathon~~ walking.

2) Don't try to be pretty and match your outfit with brand new shoes which you just bought from the UK. My feet were so sore and one time, I felt this slight sting on my left foot and thought it was a mosquito sucking my lifesource so I used my other foot to scratch it. I looked down and saw a small flab of skin hanging off my foot -.- The edges of my shoes had rubbed the top of my foot raw, so the skin was really fragile. -.-

3) If you thought of being like the doctors of Grey's Anatomy, where when it's lunchtime, everyone gathers around the cafeteria and gossip about their cases, think again. I've only managed to talk to Eric once throughout the whole two weeks because his doc was on the phone and I couldn't locate mine lol. All the doctors have different schedules and the number of patients that come for their consultation varies so it's usually only when there's nobody left to inspect, that they are reminded of the poor deadbeat medical students slowly staggering behind them. Haha I'm exaggerating (just a tad) but Dr.Love (my cardio) usually gave breaks whenever he remembered it but my current doc (Dr. Gabriel Teo - internal med) is on the dot about lunch time. In fact, he gives me like 2-2.5 hour lunchbreaks (WOOHOOO) cause unlike Dr.Love, Dr. Teo does actually go out for lunch. (Dr. Love just munches on a piece of chocolate and a cup of sweet black coffee. When I was with him, I just skipped lunch)

4) The doctors in Normah are busy. Like my cardio guy comes in at like 7am ish to do his rounds, and leaves around 8pm ish at night. Which I find amazing cause one time, he made me stay till 7.30pm to witness a PCI he was doing. I nearly almost just fell off my chair cause I was so tired from the entire day of running around. But it was interesting, I'll have to say, seeing the guy's messed up coronary arteries on the angio.

5) Healthcare is EXPENSIVE! Know what's not? Dieting, making drastic lifestyle changes, exercising EARLY! The percentage of patients I've seen walk in who are diabetic, hypertensive, or have some sort of health-related problem caused by their own doings, is astonishing. It's really bad the stats. Being diabetic already opens up so many dangerous health risk doors, like it increases your tendency of getting cardiac risks like CAD. Your cholesterol levels are so important. In percutaneous coronary intervention, one stent costs rm7-8k whereas ballooning costs about rm3-4. This patient had to have FOUR stents and TWO balloonings just in his LEFT coronary artery. His right side is messed up as well but the procedure would have taken too long and it was already 5pm so the doc scheduled it for a latter date as he didn't want to be weary from the estimated 4-5 hour procedure. And the guy is only 40+ years old, his heart is already so messed up. Ahh

6) I need to learn more of the local languages in East Malaysia. I only know Foochow, English, BM, and vague amounts of Hokkien, Mandarin. While being with Dr. Teo, half of his patients spoke Hokkien which I had no idea what they were saying so I just idly stood there as the doc replied them and consulted them. I feel so helpless, not being able to speak the language cause it's important to gauge the information from them.

7) Normah is COLD! Always forget to bring my cardigan. Argh.

Hmm, that's about all I can think of, lying in this really uncomfortable position on my bed, blogging.

Haha well tomorrow's another day.

But thankfully, Dr. Teo said it's only a half day tomorrow so I'm off by lunch.

WOOHOOO!

I'm such a bum, after a week with Dr. Wong, I'm so lazy to go to work now.

Ah, I feel like such a grown up now.

Hee :)

dustmites be gone!

2011-07-29T01:35:00.001+08:00

oh wow i have left this blog to the dustmites for too long.
hello! to whoever may be interested in my life.. unlikely any but i'm gonna go out on a limb and say there's still one reader or two.. whose's still.. ahhh who am i kidding? :)

oh well, less readers (or none at all) just means i don't have to worry so much about what i post :) yayy

quick update:

1. i finished my semester 3 examinations in IMU.

freaking hardcore. argh I did so bad for my OSCE on the first day that I was so bummed. I just knew i failed it, but thank the Lordie, I did well for my second day so it balanced out. OSPE can kiss my butt, it was so hard. the first few stations I had, I was thinking, " okay this is good. not bad not bad. good rhythm, good momentum, okay let's keep this going" then I hit the twelve station, and everything started going downhill. There were a few stations where I literally just looked around and say 'Am I in the wrong exam hall? I've never seen this before. Have we even covered this in our lectures?"

Aahh but thank the Lordie, I passed. I was so frightened. Ahh thank the Lordie.

2. flew to UK.

with a peaceful mind and lived there for 2 weeks. It was a good trip, my first in UK so that was fun. Took tons of photos which I have yet to steal from diana's laptop. Will do it soon.

3. Had a near death experience.

4. Met someone on the plane back from Stansted to KL. 13 hours. oh Lordie

5. Bought more clothes and shoes than I ever had in my entire life. No joke.

Anyway, this is just an update to wipe the dust of my blog. :)

You might get hurt just a little bit

2011-06-20T00:12:00.000+08:00

When you gonna let somebody in?

You might get hurt just a little bit

right next to you

2011-06-19T15:50:00.000+08:00

One day when the sky is falling,

I'll be standing right next to you,

right next to you.

who do you want to be standing, right next to you when the world finally ends?

Day 6 pick up sticks

2011-06-19T03:37:00.000+08:00

1) My family.

I can't imagine people with no families or close relations.

If they just died suddenly, no one would even miss them.

No matter how close your friends are to you, your family won't let you down.

Usually.

Blood will always be thicker than water.

Family is what you come home to.

2) The wonderful people in my life that i can call 'friends'.

The ones that always know how to make me smile and laugh hysterically.

The ones that I can share and just open with.

The ones that I can cry with.

I've been very blessed, in the sense, I've found some friends who have proven to stay through thick and thin, some who have really helped when the situation called for it,

without question ,without judgement.

And that's exactly what a friend is.

I know of a few who will get out of bed and come to my aid in the middle of the night

these are the people that I would do exactly the same for. :')

3) My iphone.

As materialistic as that sounds, yeah..

I freak out like crazy whenever my iphone goes nuts on me. literally. o.o

like it's not even funny how stressed out I get, worried about my precious phone.

lol it's not healthy but it's true.

4) God, church and my LG I guess.

I honestly don't know where I would be today if God was not a part of my life's equation.

Where I'll be, my state of mind, or sanity for that matter.

My church, in eaglepoint puchong, the place I go to unwind after a week of life and stress and worries. I love listening to the sermons cause they're always really entertaining and I've never been bored by them.

Surprisingly, I find myself looking forward to them and I go away learning something about God's Word. I noticed, if I haven't gone to church in a while like a couple of weeks like if I went back home or something, I tend to feel really sad and depressed.

Kinda weird but true.

My LG, where I laugh and joke and share with my wonderful IMU juniors and seniors.

Always feels great after our LG sessions :)

5) FOOD!

One of the things that usually is running through my mind is 'what to eat later?'

Haha I always bug my friends and ask them what I should eat for whatever meal of the day cause I'm always SO indecisive.

And I feel sad when I eat something really gross and not worth the calories :P