Honesty. It truly is, the best policy. What other way is there? I've had quite a few people in my life that have merely given me what I wanted to hear, as opposed to what I needed to hear. It turns out, I don't really need that kind of person in my life. I want the people who know when to give it to me straight, who know when to give me a big ol' heaping spoonful of honesty. I thank my lucky stars every day, that I have a few of these people in my life. 

Nita is totally one of those folks. She graced me with this funky little award. She's always been one to help me out... You know, let me know when my pants are making my butt look too big, or when a haircut really HAS gone wrong. She has the words that aren't too sweet, but aren't too bitter either. I thank God every single day that I have her. Every Single Day. 

Apparently after receiving this award, I'm supposed to share it with other bloggers...

1. Karen: This girlie and I have been through far too much together... However, despite our differences we're uncannily similar and I love her, a lot. She's my buddy.
2. Cherie: Ha... Cherie and I would never be here if it weren't for DIS-Honesty, so really this nomination is kind of funny :) I truly wonder every day what I did without her and her family... I adore her.
3. Anne: This is a relatively new friend to me, but one that I feel like I can be myself around...I love that about her.

Now, I'm supposed to share Ten honest things with all of you about myself...

1. I have never had poor body image issues. Even when I weighed nearly 240 lbs, I just thought I was a little overweight. 
2. I have a compulsive issue with making the first floor of my house "presentable" at all times. I can't sit down or stop moving until it's to my liking.
3. I never had any type of relationship with either of my Grandparents. It saddens me, and I am hugely jealous of people who have awesome memories and stories of life with their Grandparents. This is why my parents, and Jon's parents play SUCH a huge role in my Children's lives. 
4. I sleep with FIVE pillows every night. Two under my head, one under my legs, one behind my back, and one in front of my arms. It's a little absurd. Jon calls it a barricade.
5. I absolutely despise my current vehicle. I am totally convinced that I am going to get in it one day, and the wheels are just going to fall off of it. Just like in the cartoons :)
6. My In-Laws are two of my absolute best friends in the whole wide world. I feel like because of that, I am one of the luckiest people in the world. I am not the norm. 
7. I had friends in College that betrayed my friendship. Because of those friends, I wondered for a really long time why anyone would want to be friends with me. I'm just now realizing that I'm a worthwhile individual, and people should want to be friends with me.
8. Since Jennifer passed away, I have a innate need to help animals. Prior to her passing, I liked animals but had little care for them. Now it's like something I was set out to do... I think it's really odd, but very cool all at the same time. I do wish she would lay off on letting me adopt cats though :)
9. I go through cycles of eating the same thing days upon days at a time. Last week it was chinese dumplings and white rice. Now, I won't touch it. Before that it was Chicken Sandwiches from Wendy's. I have yet to burn out on Devil Dogs though...
10. I have no intention on cutting my hair. Every once in awhile I feel the need to shed it, but I refuse. Jon made a comment to me while he was going through chemo, that if he couldn't have hair "someone should"... I took it as I should have hair...  Especially since Jennifer always wanted long hair. She even thought about getting extensions! So I'll let it grow... For my Sister, and for Jon... Because I love them. 

I guess that's all... Want to nominate someone? Grab the award and pass it along folks!

So over the past few months, I keep feeling like I really need to catch up. Over the summer, I was in a complete blogging stupor. Every time I felt like I needed to post an update, the task seemed daunting. Then, truly when blogging seemed daunting, it no longer seemed like it was fun. It seemed more like a chore than a hobby. Makes sense right? This is the reason why the blog has ended up here... Sort of in no mans land. Today, I would honestly like to wipe the slate clean. I'd like to go back to wherever it was that I fell off the earth and update you all. I have a feeling though that it's going to take me a reeeally long time to get through all that updating, and then after giving you all that information, I'll just need to give you new information. So really, what good is it?

So how about this... Why don't you tell ME what you all miss most... Is anyone even reading anymore? If you want to hear about our summer adventures I can certainly dig them up. I have no problem with that. If you think the blog has lived a good life, and should just fade into the sunset, perhaps you could let me know that as well... What do you want to see from this blog?

I think I'm asking for some guidance. I know that at one time I found blogging to be really enjoyable, and it was a totally great way to network with other MOM's as well as folks who we had moved away from. So what's the deal folks...YOU choose, YOU guide me.

Hopefully... I'll be able to continue sharing pictures like this with all of you!

So many of us long to have more children. I'm not excluded from this group. Even though so many people assumed, that after I had the girls I was done... I really wasn't. I still to this day long for more children. I like to think that after "just one more" I'll be done, but truthfully, I have no idea if I'll ever be satisfied. More likely than not though, we'll never know. I will likely never have anymore children, and am alright now with saying that. There was a time when the mere thought of that, would send me into an absolute panic. Now... It's kind of different. Over the four years that I've had to raise my kids, I've realized in so many ways, that there can be too much of a good thing. It doesn't just apply to ice cream and cookies any more. It applies to so much more...

I belong to an incredible church. This is fairly new for me... I belonged to a church as a child, but had no real connection to the church itself. The connection to my church was a more social connection. I was young, I didn't really understand who God was, and what kind of a role he played in my life, and vice versa. Now as an adult, I have true faith. I absolutely know who I am. I truly think I understand why I'm here. Most importantly, I understand that each day is a gift. I know that my children are gifts from God, and that they too are living each day as gifts... At any moment, this can all change. We are not in charge. The journey that I have been on for the past ten years, was not one that I would have chosen for myself... It was one that was clearly chosen for me. It was a path that was written so that I would be able to better understand my place here... My walk has not been easy, and at times it has not been fun. However, nearly all of the time, I have been able to look back and understand the reasoning, been able to see my greater purpose and understand why I was suffering... It has taken me so long to get to this place. Being here now...Is peaceful. The church is merely a place that I have been able to find myself, that I have been able to find other people who think similarly to me, and have expectations similar to mine. While I find that I have wonderful social interactions in the church, it is now a place of true connection... True connection to my faith and my Lord.

Having this incredible faith, and understanding, I honestly feel that all things happen for a reason... Not understanding the reasoning half of the time, and being able to search out God's answers is part of the journey. If we understood it all of the time, how could we possibly learn? How could we possibly grow? Unfortunately in not understanding, and not knowing, we're left to question God's mercy, his actions... This morning our neighbors lost their one month old son to a undetected heart condition. Instead of letting this gentle baby pass away in his sleep, our God, let this baby suffer... He let these parents watch this child endure pain... He allowed these parents to cling to hope and then yank it from underneath of them. And then, and only then, after letting these good people suffer... OUR GOD, let their baby die.

How is this right? How is this just? How is this merciful? How... I am struggling. I am grappling with the understanding of the pain. These parents brought home a gorgeous, healthy, nearly 9lb little boy. They brought him home...

I'm not saying that this is a rare circumstance. I'm not saying that this isn't a daily occurrence in our world. I'm not saying that they're unique. I am saying that this isn't right. I understand that it happens, and that it's part of life... But the suffering... Why? That's the part that I just cannot get over. The suffering. The Baby suffered. The Parents suffered. The Family suffered. I do understand so much of the reason for suffering in general... Original sin... I get that. But perhaps...perhaps I really don't.

I think it's really times like these that the rug is pulled out from underneath of us, and all of what we think we know, and all of what we think we believe is left in question. So I guess I'm in the right place right now... I'm surely left questioning so much of what I believe to be true. So much of what I really thought I understood... It's a true example of nobody being 'safe'. We are all at his mercy... All of us.

If you recall, last year we took the family to the Outer Banks in North Carolina. It was simply dubbed as the Vacation from Hell. We never really bothered reflecting back on it, we didn't want to look at the photos... It was by far the worst vacation we had ever been on. Quite honestly when we began prepping for this years annual trip to the OBX, to say that I was queasy was an understatement. I had absolutely no desire to go. We drive down there, it takes us about 5.5 hours or so usually with all of the kids, and then we stay for 2 weeks. This time... I hemmed, I hawed... I put off leaving until Wednesday of the first week. I was filled with dread as we filled the van. I was convinced that we would get down there and the swine flu would hit. I was so convinced in fact, that I had prescriptions for antibiotics for all of our kids, as well as one for myself. JUST IN CASE. Because after last year, one can NEVER be too prepared.

We drove down, and the trip was seamless. The kids were purely joyous to be going to the beach. Of course they asked us every 5 seconds when we would be there, but that was par for the course. William and Jon drove in their own car, and Myself, Adriana, and the other 4 kiddos were in my car. I followed him down to the OBX, and aside from a screaming back we made great time and it was an awesome trip...

Since we had just been in Florida the month prior, we already knew what worked for us in regards to sleeping arrangements. We put both of the girls in Pack N Plays in our room. William in our Bed, and the boys in their own room! Since we had brought ample childproofing equipment it only took a second to make a quick sweep of their room to make sure that it was safe for them. The room had 2 twin beds, and a trundle bed. Jack was pleased to sleep in a big boy twin bed, and with the trundle pulled out, I wasn't afraid of him falling onto a hard surface. Evan slept quite well in the trundle. We brought monitors, nightlights, blankies, noise machines, everything that they might need. They slept amazingly from the first night on... It was FAB-U-LOUS. The girls and William in our room, was also working quite well for us. My parents switched rooms with us, and gave us the Master Suite. We had a ton of room for their PNP's as well as for all of our "stuff". Also, our room was on the main living floor. This really let us keep our stuff contained... Anytime there were kid clothes or whatnot strewn about, it was easy to shuffle it all into our room. Simply because it was RIGHT there. All of the kiddos slept so well during our stay, the only complaint was that they woke so much earlier than normal. Around 630!! Jon was incredibly frustrated by this, and as hard as he tried, he couldn't get them to lay back down to sleep... It could have been just excitement over starting yet ANOTHER day at the beach!

Before we left, we brainstormed over how to make this trip easier on us... We had a really tough time in the years past keeping the kids in specific areas. Keeping them out of the kitchen. Away from the pool. It had been nightmarish at times...

This year though was DIFFERENT! We had GATES!! We brought enough childproofing equipment that we could've childproofed the whole neighborhood! We had three of these gates. They collapse down to nearly nothing (almost like a beach umbrella) and are so easy to transport in their own carrying bag. Nita, had bought two of them before heading to the beach with us and I was able to borrow one from a very generous neighbor. We were able to completely gate off the kitchen, dining room, and elevator from the kids. It was invaluable. Jon and  I actually commented more than a few times that this type of gate would be great for rental homes to have stashed away in the closet. Since they are so compact, lightweight, AND cheap ($40!)!!

So between the gates, the meal planning for the kids, the awesome help that we had from Adriana, the delightful weather, the company from Nita, Rick, and little Ricky, and of course the company of our family... This was by far the best vacation that we've had with the kids, since they've been around! I would do it again in a heartbeat!

**And since there's just no way that I can possibly put up all of the great pictures we took... I'll actually put up a NEW photo album over there on the right hand side for all of you who only follow me here and not on Facebook!**

While sitting in the beach house today, I realized how much the kids have changed over the past year. It's amazing how quickly the time swept by us... It feels like we were all just down here as a family, oddly it was exactly a year ago.

This year was so radically different. When we approached the

Every day, more and more, this child amazes me.

Yesterday morning we had no plans on the horizon. We only knew that we needed to pick our au pair Adriana up in DC around 2pm. Jon had planned on taking one or two of the kids and doing that himself. I figured I'd stay here...

Then we kind of came together with the idea of heading into DC together, in separate vehicles so that he could pick her up, and we could still have some fun in the city. I threw a couple things in a bag, put the kids "walking shoes" on, and off we went. It's not a quick drive into DC from our house. It's at least an hour, and that's without any traffic.

After trekking around the downtown mall looking high and low for parking for TWO cars. We took the kids to the Museum of Natural History. We knew that with the dinosaurs, and mammal exhibits, there had to be something they would like. We were right. It was one of the first times, it was really exciting to see the kids actually enjoy this museum. This museum that Jon and I had one of our very first dates in... It was pretty cool.

Anyway, we spent an adequate amount of time in the City, enjoy the gorgeous weather, enjoying the sightseers who randomly enough were spending more time sightseeing my children than the National Monuments. I had conversations with at least 7 seven people, 2 of which I actually needed to speak a different language to converse with... Turns out that as they grow older, they don't become any less of an attraction, and some people are starting to think that William is an older sibling... Poor Will.

But I digress. Jon left with William to pick up Adriana, and I went to head home with the other four children. On the way back, I decided to call my friend Nita, knowing I would be passing right through her neck of the woods. I would hate to pass up any opportunity to see her, even though I talk to her every. single. day. Anyway, I called, she was home, I said I'd drop by if it was OK with her... No problem she said... Drop on by.

I arrived moments later, my FOUR young children in tow. I can think of literally hundreds of

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this now. I know that I'm pretty thankful for the few friends that I do have... I find myself saying so often that I really don't have any friends. I think it's mainly due to my past, and also the past few years of the kids keeping me so busy. I love that I've started finding a niche and that even the friends that I have, that aren't "Drop-In Friends" are still such good friends... So maybe that's where I was going with this. I am really lucky.

With school now being in the third week, I am already at a loss over what to send the kids to lunch with. Of course part of me just wants to send in the same old squashed Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich and a bag of broken potato chips. Then the good Mommy in me remembers... There are probably people scrutinizing what my kids are ingesting day after day. Also, how boring is it to eat the same thing every. single. day. So if by week three, I'm already struggling... What on earth am I going to look like by MONTH three? It's not going to be pretty peeps. I'm just letting you know that now. Also, on Wednesdays & Thursdays I have to pack five lunches. Ugh. Ugh. UGH.

I do try incredibly hard to make sure that the kids lunches are at least well balanced. Of course trying to do that times five, before a few cups of coffee have hit my system. It's difficult.

This is where Safeway food stores come into play! Safeway has recently partnered up with Warner Bros. to introduce a brand new line of food featuring Looney Tunes characters in their Eating Right Kids Program. This new food line features more than 60 items in nearly 18 categories! The categories include not only your standard breakfast, lunch, and dinner... But also produce, portable meals, dairy, snacks, beverages, AND frozen entrees! You could literally plan an entire days menu around this new line of food. Also, if you need a little help, you could visit MomLogic. They have a whole page dedicated to Looney Tunes Eating Right! Chock full of menus AND recipes!

Safeway & Warner Bros. teamed up in attempt to make foods that are not only delicious and good for you, but also appeal to the younger crowds. I mean who wouldn't want to eat a pack of baby carrots packaged with Bugs Bunny's face emblazoned across the front of it? Or a cup of yummy watermelon applesauce with Tweety Bird smiling up at you? I know it would be hard for my little ones to turn it down. Especially when I know for a fact when they see the Dora fruit snacks, they go bonkers. They recognize their favorite characters, and want to eat what's inside. So honestly I think these guys are onto something here.

Also in a grand effort to truly make a difference, you'll only find the Warner Bros. characters now, on items that are of good nutritional value. No longer will you find them in the McDonald's or Burger King Happy Meals, or popping out of the side of sugary sweet cereals. These characters will be synonymous with healthy eating.

I was overall impressed with not only the packaging of the food items, but also the taste. When you try to tell your children to eat something because it's healthy, or because it's good for you... It's typically a no brainer that the food will be tossed in the trash due to it spoiling right there on the plate. This food however, had the wonderful appeal of the characters, which truly weren't too garish but at the same time were incredibly appealing to the 3 & 4 year old crowd in my house. The Mixed Fruit Chewy Bar, was a hands down hit... And I'll tell you right now, it was the chocolate. There was a small coating of chocolate layering across the bottom. Once my children caught a glance of that, it was feast or famine people... We needed QUITE a few more bars. I was pleased that they were trying something new, AND it was healthy... They were pleased that I was letting them eat chocolate... Win Win guys... Win Win.

I just know that with this brand of food, and snacks not only will other kids be begging to trade with my kiddos... Their parents will be coaching them on effective ways to MAKE the trade! Hold onto to your food kids, it's an unhealthy world out there...

Remember Mommy Kitty? We got her back at the beginning of May, and she was all kinds of pregnant. She had come from an abusive family, and was brought to my house to deliver her kitten(s) and then get the heck out of dodge. Well...As we all know, the best laid plans, never quite seem to go...well, as planned. Mommy Kitty delivered her ONE little kitty about a month after ending up at my house. That kitten found a family, moved on, and we sat on Mommy Kitty. I couldn't POSSIBLY send her back to the home from which she came, but keeping her didn't seem like a great option either. I knew there was a lot of work involved in this decision.

She would need all her shots, as well as the very obvious issue of getting her spayed. Time slipped away from us as we were waiting for her milk to dry up, and one night she slipped out of our front door. It wasn't until we went to feed both of the cats later on in the evening that Jon and I realized that Mommy Kitty (aka: MK) was gone. Heartbroken, we thought she had run away and was never to be seen again. Wrong. She turned up on our front porch later on that night... I knew that night that this couldn't have been good.

After our trip to Florida (to which pictures are STILL coming I swear), Jon and I were eating dinner and MK looked awfully rotund. Her mid-section was awfully round. It was pretty obvious that she was "with kitten". I hung my head in shame, knowing that Bob Barker would be wagging his little arthritic finger at me. "Have your pets spayed or neutered..." I totally heard him say that every. single. day. on The Price is Right... Did I listen? Not so much. Our little kitty was totally knocked up, and we had no idea when she was due.

Lucky for us, in the few weeks that we've been home since our vacation, MK has been really great. Last weekend she was obviously turning the corner as far as her pregnancy was concerned, and I was totally on Labor Watch. This week, we welcomed a friend and her family into our home so that we could help out with some childcare needs. This awesome friend? Hates cats... So it was to her utter shock when she showed up early this week and I casually mentioned that she could put the kids bags there, and by the way I think my cat is in labor... No big thing. I swear to you, I thought at first she was going to leave. Thankfully, she didn't! All of us were able to finish up our dinner, and then head up to check on MK only to see her birthing the last two of her four kittens. It was really miraculous!

Our little Momma did such an amazing job, and is in her GLORY. She is totally enamored with her babies (as are we!). She delivered 3 girls and 1 boy. The oldest and youngest are tiger striped, just like their Mommy. The 2nd born was a tiny black kitty. And the 3rd born is a handsome orange tabby! His name is Gilbert. William decided when MK was in labor, that we should have a kitten and name him Gilbert. I thought it was suitable for a kitten... So Gilbert it is! I haven't named any of the others just yet...

Of course, just because we're naming them, doesn't mean we're keeping them! I have no intentions of keeping any of these kittens. We have a lot of folks interested in them though which is good! If you or someone you know is interested in one of them, please let me know!