At any given point, there are approximately 800 children who are available for adoption in Florida. Although African Americans make-up only 16 percent of Florida’s population, African-American children make up 39 percent of children in the child welfare system. Research shows that African-American children remain in foster care longer as well. These children all share a common dream – they want to be loved and become a part of a family where they can thrive, trust, and grow up to reach their full potential and accomplish their dreams.

This month, the Department of Children and Families and Explore Adoption will highlight 28 Days of Amazing Children. The campaign showcases one African-American child or sibling group available for adoption every day in February. To see today’s child or biographies and videos for all of the amazing children available for adoption, visit: www.adoptflorida.org.

Dear Son,
As I sit at my desk writing this letter, I realize this is the most difficult, scariest, and most exciting thing I have ever done. I am scared because I don’t know how to write a letter, nor can I write a letter, that assures you that everything will be okay. I am not going to pretend that our lives will suddenly become easy when the adoption is finalized. Nor can I tell you that your fears and self-doubts will suddenly go away. I can guarantee that we will continue to have our ups and downs as we discover new things and learn to be a family. I do know that I love watching you grow and adapt to your new world. I am so happy because I know that even during difficult times we will always be a family, because you are my special gift from God! My angel boy! I have chosen to spend my life with you because I love you!!! I cannot imagine my life without you in it. No matter what happens… you get to stay! You are a part of me. You are my son and I love you more than the waves are in the sea. I have not only built a home for you but I have prepared a place in my home, my heart, and my life for you! I am your mommy and here are my promises to you.

My 10 promises to you:
1. I promise to always love you.
2. To have fun with you!!!
3. To admit when I am wrong…and you know there are times that I am wrong.
4. To respect you!
5. To trust you!
6. To give you freedom, space and the time you need to come to terms with your worries!
7. To worry about you and pray for you always.
8. To forgive you!!
9. To help you find your dreams and let you live them!
10. To be here for you…ALWAYS!!!!

What I expect from you:
1. To be a kid!
2. To always try your best….even when it’s hard and you don’t want to!
3. To let me help you…even when it’s hard and you are afraid to trust!
4. To not give up…even when it’s hard and you want to!
5. To always keep your heart open to our family…I need you.

What I am sure of:
I have chosen you and our jouney begins today!

Mommy.

“I met Maci at the end of her 8th grade year. She came to the high school where I work, to tour in preparation for her freshman year. Maci was well known by everyone in the special education department because of her story. We knew Maci was an orphan, her parents died when she was young. At the beginning of her high school career, Maci lived with an aunt and by the beginning of her sophomore year that relationship ended, and Maci went into foster care. I knew she was in a group home but I thought her life improved after she went into care and never really saw her as the type of kid who wanted to be adopted. Maci did seem better but she had her low moments and those of us who cared about her were there for her to help her pick up the pieces when she came out of it.

One day in October I had a conversation with her. She told me she had legally changed her plan from adoption to extended foster care. I was shocked because it was the first time I had ever heard that she had wished to be adopted. I actually thought that someone else was in the process of adopting her. Stunned, I asked her why she had changed it and she went into a litany of reasons; none of them being that she no longer wanted to be a part of a family. Essentially, Maci had given up hope. I can’t explain what happened but something inside of me felt like a switch that had been flipped. I had known this girl for more than two years, but it was as if I was seeing her for the first time. I knew at that second, she would become my daughter. I just needed to figure out how to make it happen.

Teenagers are big and some may think they’re scary because they have “big” problems, but the need to have a parent who is lovingly committed to a child is no different at age 7 than at age 17. They’re still just children who need a family who will be there to love and guide them for the rest of their lives.”

If you have room in your heart and are passionate about helping teens become successful consider becoming a foster or adoptive parent today. Your love and support can help change lives. For more information about becoming a foster or adoptive parent, please visit our website at  http://myflfamilies.com/fosteringteens.

Guest post by Mike Williams, entrepreneur and former foster youth

February is Black History Month, a time to celebrate the history and contributions of African Americans. I have been fortunate to learn great things about my heritage, and how so many African Americans helped paved the way for me.

Two of my favorite African American heroes are Dr. Steve Perry and Les Brown. Dr. Perry is the founder of Capital Preparatory Magnet School in Hartford, Connecticut, which has sent 100 percent of its predominantly low-income, minority, first generation high school graduates to four-year colleges every year since its first class graduated in 2006. I had the honor of meeting Dr. Perry at the 2015 National Faith Symposium and he made an impact on my life forever. Secondly, Les Brown is a man who not only found the greatness inside himself, but helped thousands of others as well, including myself. He is a former foster kid like me, and is now one of the most sought-after speakers in the world and I aspire to impact thousands just like him.

Like these great men, perhaps my story can inspire others to never give up on their dreams. I arrived in foster care around the age of 9 because my mother was on drugs for many years and could not take care of me. I never knew my father. The amount of pain I endured as a young child was traumatic. I went from being a little angel, who thought I was a precious gift from God for my mom to love forever, to a very disrespectful and disobedient child who hated adults. So while most kids my age were playing football, video games and going to movies… my world was being turned upside down. I was placed in more than 20 foster homes and attended more than 10 different schools. I remained in the foster care system until aging out at 18.

Changes in my behavior and emotions paved a rocky road for me. I was sad, alone and depressed. I even attempted to take my life and end it all. But I’m still standing.

I believe I’m a great example of why you don’t have to be a product of your circumstances. I’ve graduated from Tallahassee Community College with my AA Degree and am continuing my studies for my Bachelor’s in Business Management. I’ve helped launch and market several successful businesses and I’m a growing motivational/inspirational speaker.

I was a child destined for failure until amazing people came into my life like my foster mom, Pamela Benton, and foster dad, Matt McKibbin. When faced with some of my life’s hardest challenges, these two people were there to uplift and guide me. They embody the true meaning of committed and dedicated parents and I couldn’t be more honored to be a part of their families.

I believe we can all make a difference in the lives of children and families. African Americans should be encouraged to become foster and adoptive parents. To me, that’s how real black history is made.

#InspiringSelfSuccess

#ItCanBeDone

At 15, a part of me died, the part that was inherently selfish and conceited. In that empty space grew a form of myself who was constantly looking out for the wellbeing of others, forgoing my desires for the needs of the children we welcomed into our home. When I was 15, my parents became foster parents.

This was a very strange decision on their part, seeing as they were two years from turning 40 and their two biological children were already teenagers. But God works in strange ways. Thus began our family’s journey into the depths of the foster care system and the hidden world of social work.

For a very long time, it was hard to decide whether or not I was going to be directly involved in the lives of these children. At some point though, the heart of God and the love of Christ took over. Every moment I spent with these children was a blessing, a burst of purples and lime greens and pinks, radiating with joy, excitement, and perhaps most importantly, hope and safety on their part.

It was a blessing in disguise, and those moments were some of my happiest. Most nights ended with me helping the children we had taken into our home to learn how to spell, or how to write a complete sentence. One night in particular, our oldest child came into my room and asked me about something her classmate had said.

“Emily, this kid in my class said today that he doesn’t believe God works miracles.” I set my anatomy textbook aside and invited her to sit beside me, “What do you mean? What were the exact words he said?” He said that he believes in God, and that God created the world. “Well, what do you think about it?” I don’t think he’s right, because if God didn’t still do really cool work, me and my sister wouldn’t be here with you, Kate, Aunt Jennifer and Uncle John.”

But at the end of every child’s stay, it never got easier to say goodbye. In fact, I believe it got harder. Every child seemed to assimilate into our family faster. Their backgrounds almost forced them to, because for the first time in a very long time these children felt loved and completely safe.

I looked into the eyes of twenty-three children in the past five years and I have felt my heart break twenty-three times. But thankfully, not every story has a heart wrenching ending, and not every child leaves. Three years in, I stood in a courtroom before a judge, crying once again, at the end of a chapter in a child’s life. Three years later, he was not just another foster child.

He was my brother — a tried and true Meadows — forever and for always.

Mark and his biological mom – reunited!

I’m 47 years old, and I’ve gone my whole life knowing I was adopted. I grew up in a supportive family with two adoptive parents and two siblings, but every time I looked in the mirror I didn’t see the same features of the family I grew up with had. As a kid this didn’t bother me much, but later in my life something started to cultivate inside me. I realized I needed to find my biological family.

When I was 24, I opened my heart to the possibility of finding my biological family. I tried the hospital for any records of my mother, but there was no trace of her. I still wanted to find her, but after my experience I was so discouraged and distraught that I put the thought of finding her away.

During the next two decades I got married, I did what I wanted to do with my life and became successful. However, every now and then, while watching a lifetime movie about some crazy family reunion, I couldn’t help but wonder where I got my height from or my big forehead. I just felt as if something was missing.

I started wrestling with my past. I wanted to be proud of where I came from and know why I have certain mannerisms. I had no biological connection to anyone. I couldn’t help but come back to the thought of, “Why was I not loved and why was I not wanted by my biological family?” This frustration within my heart and the lack of answers had caused conflict in my life and within my relationships.

I thought maybe I’d go my whole life with my family out there and never meet them. All I knew was that my parents were from Jacksonville. I feared maybe they were dead or perhaps they are horrible people. Maybe they are poor or sick. Maybe our reunion would resemble something like a Jerry Springer show.

But then in 2013, I talked to my wife and finally decided that I wanted to find my biological identity for certain. We talked first to a private investigator who led us to resources, including the Florida Adoption Reunion Registry (FARR). Hopeful, I mailed in my FARR registration and expected to maybe hear something in the next few months.

Days later I got a call back from the woman helping me with my case. She said that she found records of my mother and she’s trying to get in touch with her. In that moment I was so excited, yet it was tough not knowing what to expect next. But that afternoon, the woman from FARR called again and told me that they contacted my mother and that she was interested in talking to me.

The phone rang on my way home from work with a Jacksonville area code. I knew it had to be her. I picked up and heard my biological mother’s voice say, “Mark, this is Angela.”

That night, my mom and I talked for seven hours, only taking breaks to use the restroom. I found out that she was a nurse at the age of 69, and lives in a nice home near the beach with my aunt and she has a lot of siblings. We caught up about each other’s lives and before hanging up, I asked her what I needed to know my whole life. I asked why she gave me up.

She told me that she fell in love with my father in the mid-1960s. Six months after they started dating, she found out he was married and had a family of his own. After getting pregnant with a married man, she couldn’t bring herself to tell her family, so she decided to move in with her sister in South Florida during her pregnancy and give the baby up for adoption. She said she thought it was the best decision for the child.

That weekend, my wife and I drove up to meet her and my aunt in person. Meeting on the phone was life-changing in itself, but meeting her in person was a whole different story. That missing piece was fulfilled. When I look at her, I can tell I’m her son.

To my surprise, I met my mom, my aunt and many other family members that weekend too. In just a short time, I went from having no biological family to meeting 10-12 people who looked like me, talked like me and shared my genes. Over the next few months, while back in Tampa, I kept meeting new family members though the phone. I found out that I have 10 first cousins around my age—all who are accepting of me as part of the family. It feels like I had been there all along.

Eventually, I needed to introduce my adoptive mom to my biological mom. I had to learn how to integrate both of these women in my life. I still call my adoptive mom ‘Mom’ because she was and is, and always will be the woman who raised me. I call my biological mom ‘Angelina,’ since that is how we met as grown adults.

Now, my family is bigger than ever. I know I can’t get back the time I spent in my life without my family, but I take every chance to talk and be with them that I can. My story continues as I find more family members, including my dad. I hope that I can meet my half brothers on his side one day. But until then, I will embrace all the new ties I have to my family members and the family who raised me, making as many memories with them as I can.

Daughter and mother on adoption day!

I met my daughter, Myra, for the first time when she was 14. I was transporting her to the airport where she was going to fly out and visit a potential adoptive parent. After her return she decided the parent wasn’t a match for her. She wanted to wait, pray and dream for a father and mother that was a good fit for her.

My husband and I were not interested in teenager. I always preferred caring for younger kids. My husband and I always knew that someday we would adopt. We took the in-depth adoption training course (MAPP) so we would be ready to adopt, but as the years went by and not thinking about adopting.  I was asked to be Myra’s mentor and, eventually, I agreed.

Over the next two years, we realized Myra had become a part of our family. There was never a moment where it clicked, it was a gradual thing. Eventually, we just couldn’t imagine our lives without her. My husband and I prayed about it and we decided we can do this. We can be her mother and father.

I do think there was a moment where Myra realized she wanted to be in our family. My husband and I took her to her high school’s football game. There we were, sitting in the stands with the other families. I think that is the moment that she truly felt she had found her forever family.

Myra officially became a part of our family on April 9, 2014. The attorney said he had never seen so many people in the courtroom before – family, coworkers, friends and case managers that had helped her to get to her forever family; there were so many people there to surround us with love and support.

Myra is an A/B student. She is a wonderful athlete – she’s currently on the volleyball and basketball teams and hopes to get back into track as well. Her dream is to become a nurse and background in law.

Daughter, mother, grandmother and father.

I always thought I would adopt a baby or toddler, but Myra is perfect for us. Teens like Myra desire to have a family, to be loved – and they have a lot of love to give.   Every day is not always a great day.  But when she gives us all the love she can give and says, “Mommy I love you,” It makes everything wonderful!

Like all children, teenagers need to know that they are loved and that the love is forever. However, If you are flexible, don’t take yourself (or them) too seriously, and can negotiate firm but loving guidelines, this can be an ideal situation for you both. Although at times it seemed less time consuming because teens are more independent, they may require more emotional work for a time. Raising a teenager into adulthood may have bumps along the way, but the joy of knowing you are making a difference in a young adults life is a lifetime achievement for you and that child.

A sweet little boy, just 8 years old, came into our care late one night. Daniel was scared, holding tight to an Optimus Prime Transformer toy and a garbage bag that contained just a few of his belongings.  He didn’t have a suitcase, backpack or duffle bag, so a garbage bag held his entire world. This was the case for many of the 17 children we have welcomed to our home over the past four years.

I bent to my knees and asked Daniel if he was scared, and he indicated that he was. He gave me permission to hug him, and it was at that very moment, I fell in love.  I assured Daniel that we would keep him safe and make sure he had anything he needed.

Four of our children were awake with us when we greeted the young boy at our door. My 12-year-old daughter knelt on the ground and asked Daniel if he wanted to play with some toy trucks. Our new family member followed her slowly into the living room where the trucks were waiting for him. All four children played with Daniel while my husband and I spoke with his case manager and then saw her out.

My kids are always beyond excited when a child comes to stay with us. They understand that the children are frightened and scared and try to be gentle and welcoming to them. My kids have sacrificed a lot – time with my husband and me, their space, and their things.

Daniel shared a room with my 10-year-old son, and they grew close during the three months Daniel was with us. Eventually, Daniel was reunited with his sister in another foster home. When I told my son that Daniel would be leaving, I thought he would be happy to have his room to himself again. But instead he began to cry. “I don’t want him to go because I love him,” he said. We lay down together on the bed and cried.

I am very blessed still to be in touch with Daniel’s biological mom. Fortunately, Daniel and his two sisters will be going home to their mother in a week!  We will maintain close contact with the family and serve as a surrogate family to the mom and her sweet children.

Over the years, my daughter and I have developed a ritual when the kids leave. We sit down at the bottom of the stairs and talk about how we hope we made a positive impact in that child’s life.

When any of the kids leave our home, they always take a piece of our hearts with them. However, it is such a beautiful gift given to us when the kids come – THEY enrich OUR lives!

Guest post by Sue Redfern, who has fostered more than 100 children since 1992. She has 10 children ages 57 to 21, including three biological children and even adopted children. She and her husband are currently caring for three foster children, a 7 month old who has Down Syndrome, and siblings ages 3 years and 17 months.

I’m sitting here bouncing a 7 month old on my knee while my 3 year old and 17 month old play with cars on the rug. There have been many children who have been in these same spots before – more than 100 of them.

My favorite part about bringing these kids into my family is when they are able to find forever families. Sometimes it is with me, sometimes with another family, sometimes with their biological family.

There was a little boy in my care who had a dad working so hard to get him back. So hard. He loved that boy, but had fallen on some hard times. He needed help and he was getting it. It warmed my heart to see him running up to his dad and wrap his arms around his neck while his dad told him he loves him so much.

The 4 year old older brother of my 3 year old and 17 month old just left our home to be with his forever family in New York. We are so glad this family is in the process of adopting all the siblings. The 4 year old is blind and requires a forever home near a major medical center. His new family in New York is in a perfect location and both parents have a strong background in caring for children with special needs.

The two remaining siblings and I recently flew up to New York to see the family and older brother. My 3 year old always carries around a photo of his brother – he misses him so much. As soon as he saw him he ran up to him and gave him a huge hug. He did not let go of his hand the entire time we were there. I am overjoyed that they will be able to spend the rest of their lives together.

Wonderful reunifications and adoptions like these remind me that I am making a difference in each of these children’s lives. We can’t give up. We have to keep going to help these kids. Foster parents are the key to their futures.

Party time!

Our house looked like Hello Kitty had attacked it. Hello Kitty table cloths, center pieces, balloons, banners, a custom cake, and everything was pink! It was the day of my foster daughter’s 7^th birthday party.

The party literally became a family affair. We try to help the kids in our care keep a connection with their biological families. It isn’t always possible, but we try. Siblings need to see each other; they like to be able to see that everyone is ok and in a good situation. In my foster daughter’s case, this included inviting all eight of her siblings, who were in care with two other foster families, and her birth mother. The mom was actually the one who brought all the decorations and we were so glad she was able to attend. This was in addition to my foster daughter’s many school friends, other foster families, etc.  – we had about 40 people there!

My foster daughter hadn’t seen her 15-year-old sister in a very long time and was overjoyed when she saw her walk in the door. She ran over to her, grabbed her hand and didn’t let go for the whole party. She dragged her around introducing her to everyone – “This is my sister!” she would tell them VERY enthusiastically. I thought my heart was going to melt.

Every child that comes into our home is seen as a part of our family, which includes celebrating their birthdays just as we would our biological children’s. They are isolated from their friends and family and need us to be there for them during their time with us – my biological children are more than happy to fill that role. There are many afternoons that all the kids just hang out, have nerf gun and ball fun in our back yard, and build forts in the living room.

It is nice to have a BFF with you right in your house. It makes every day a party!