My wife and I went to see the new Tyler Perry’s movie For Colored Girls. Throughout the gut wrenching pain and misery I keep asking myself the same question: How do Women of Color keep on keeping on? I mean life for men of color life is no picnic in these economically challenging times, but sisters have  more than their fair share of crosses to bear.

The movie was superbly filmed and the acting was first rate. Most of my time was spent juxtaposing the characters on the big screen with various members of my family who suffered similar atrocities. My emotions wrestled with fear for something similar happening to one of my daughters. I wish I could wrap my hands around all the women who carry the pain and scars of emotional, physical or sexual abuse, just to comfort them and say I’m sorry.

Long before the movie I had a vision for doing just than. I knew the terrible statistics of how many women are abused so the movie only reinforced and added faces to the cold stats. I found my own way of saying “I’m sorry” with My Forgiveness Card. I’ve been asked if I created the card out of guilt. No, it’s not so much from guilt…albeit I have inflicted my share of emotional pain…but rather from a spirit of loving regard for the well-being of our women who might not ordinarily get an apology from their abuser and carry the pain with them and even possibly passing the pain on to the their children.

My Forgiveness card affirms the need for accountability from us men – even if we haven’t personally terrorized our women like the characters in the movie. A few weeks ago my pastor, Dr. Therman E. Evans taught about Nehemiah, who in Nehemiah 1:1– 5 prayed:

¹ The words of Nehemiah son of Hakaliah:

In the month of Kislev in the twentieth year, while I was in the citadel of Susa, ² Hanani, one of my brothers, came from Judah with some other men, and I questioned them about the Jewish remnant that had survived the exile, and also about Jerusalem.

³ They said to me, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.”

⁴ When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven. ⁵ Then I said:

“LORD, the God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and keep his commandments, ⁶ let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father’s family, have committed against you. ⁷ We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.

Nehemiah wasn’t concerned about who was at fault; he took personal responsibility for ALL his people, himself and his family.

So in the spirit of Nehemiah I would like to say to all the beautiful sisters of color – I am sorry. Please forgive me so we can heal.

Biography of Albert Huie

It is with sadness that I report Albert Huie, Master Jamaican Painter and Printmaker has made his transition.  He passed Sunday, January 31, 2010 and will surely be missed.

The Huie Family released this statement:

“On behalf of the Huie Family we would like to thank Jamaica for its outpouring of admiration and love shown towards our beloved Huie.

He loved Jamaica as depicted in his works.  They are not only a testament to his talents but also a treasure for Jamaicans and his admirers to enjoy forever.”

My thanks to the Albert Huie family for graciously allowing me to use the image of Wash Day, an original oil on canvas painted in 1944. Albert Huie, Master Jamaican Painter and Printmaker, was born in Falmouth, Jamaica on December 31,1920. Huie knew his destiny at an early age, as he began doodling with charcoal, from his grandmothers’s old coal stove, on the floor and walls of his Falmouth home.

Thank you for embracing the vision of www.MyForgivenessCard.com

Other links:
National Gallery of Jamaica:
http://nationalgalleryofjamaica.wordpress.com/2010/01/31/remembering-albert-huie-1920-2010/

Jamaica Observer:
http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/columns/Maxwell-Feb-7

Other blogs:
http://tyronereviews.blogspot.com/2010/02/transition-albert-huie-1920-2010.html

This week was really special!

I was on line at the A&P supermarket and the woman behind me asked if she could rest her items behind mine and run back to get the vinegar she forgot to pick up. ” Sure”  I said as she dashed off.

The line moved so I brought the three of four items of hers closer to mine separating them with the plastic bar. When she got back with the bottle of vinegar she thanked me. I told her I wanted to pay for her groceries and had something else to give her. She looked stunned and said: “You must have gotten a blessing!” I smile and said, yes, I’m very blessed.

After paying we went outside where I read My Forgiveness Card to her. She thanked me and said “I’ll pass this on.”  I don’t know if her intention is to give the My Forgiveness Card to someone else but I do know we were both blessed.

More to come…

I was at a business networking function and realized I hadn’t given out any My Forgiveness Cards for the week. There were two ladies in the group of roughly 20 so I made the decision to approach one of them after the meeting.  To my surprise one of them (not the one I mentally chose) approached me to get more information about my business. As I was explaining what we do I noticed that the other woman was preparing to leave. I excused myself and asked her if she could wait a few minutes; I had something to give to her. I exchanged business cards and concluded my conversation with the first woman.

My subject’s name was Terri. I gestured and asked if we could step a few feet away from the disbursing crowd of business people into a more private area of the meeting space.  She graciously complied and I read My Forgiveness Card to her.  She warmly and sincerely thanked me saying it was a wonderful gesture.

Onward and upward to more forgiveness!

Week #2 is in the bag!

I gave My Forgiveness Card to a lady in a Bakery in NY.  She was relaxed and easy going as I read the card to her. When I was done she looked my dead in the eye and quietly said “thank you.” No fuss. No fanfare and I was off.

Personally, I’m curious to see how many presentations I have to make before my voice stops cracking while I read

Take care for now!

I was wondering since its New Years Day how I would get a chance to give my first My Forgiveness Card in 2010. If you don’t know, my plan is to give at least one card per week for all 52 weeks of this year. As luck would have it my wife mentioned that we were out of firewood and she was looking forward to building a fire as our family watched a movie today. I jumped at the opportunity figuring I was sure to run into someone at the supermarket. I did and how it unfolded was nothing short of wonderful!

Here’s how it went: as I was about to pickup one of the only two stacks of firewood a lady told me that there was more to choose from over there. I thanked her and as I started to select from the new pile another woman came into view. A beautiful, regal, silver-haired woman. I got up and asked her if I could read something to her; it would take less than two minutes. She agreed.

I read My Forgiveness Card to her and must say I’m still surprised that I get choked up. I even skipped one sentence. Anyway, I was cautious not to read too fast and I pronounced my words clearly. I signed the card and gave it to her. She asked: “What made you do something like this?” I told her I wasn’t at liberty to talk about the card, because I didn’t want it to be used as an opportunity for men to pickup women. I did however direct her to the website http://www.MyForgivenessCard.com which is printed on each card. She followed up by asking what church I went to. I told her and she thanked me and was on her way.

Overall it was a wonderful experience. I hope and believe it was a blessing for the lady at Stop & Shop as well.

One down and 51 weeks to go.

I’m anxiously awaiting the new year to start my year long, 52 week forgiveness marathon. There’s no better time than New Year’s Day to start giving the ultimate gift of Forgiveness.

Tomorrow I’ll find my first random recipient and present her with My Forgiveness Card.

I’ll keep you posted.

OK, my goal for 2010 is to walk my talk. That’s right, I’m going to give at least 52 randomly selected women My Forgiveness Card. That’s at least one woman a week for 52 weeks.

If I feel ambitious I might give more than one a week but I am committing to at least one.

I will blog after each presentation and share my experience with you. Hopefully it will inspire men all over the world to do the same.

If you’d like to join me and share your experience, I would love it!

2010 is right around the corner and this is my way of making the world a better place. Keep me in your prayers.

The power of forgiveness

I was surprised to find out that the movie Precious, which won actress/comedian Mo’Nique a Golden Globe, was based on her experience as a sexually abused child.

“I know Mary Jones. I know that monster,” Mo’Nique was quoted telling talk show hostess Joy Behar that her character, a mentally ill, abusive mother. “That character for me, in my life, was my older brother.” Mo-Nique, now 42, revealed in 2008 to Essence that she was sexually molested when she was seven years old by her brother.

She went on to say that she didn’t really confront her past until she was an adult. “I’m angry. I’m mad. I’m hurt. I’m crying, but doing this movie made me say, ‘You know what? I forgive.’ I forgive and I wish he would get the help that he needs, so no one else will go through it,” she said.

Man, this is a living breathing example of why I created My Forgiveness Card. Hopefully this doesn’t sound arrogant, but I believe it would have made a positive difference to Mo’Nique and countless women with similar horrible experiences to hear an apology from a man – any man!

My hope is more brothers will step up, use My Forgiveness Card and help our women heal the pain caused by physical and emotional abuse. 

Sure it would be great if the people who’ve violated us in the past would find Jesus, atone, be remorseful and offer a deep, contrite, impactful apology. Fact is, the chances of that happening are slim to none. The reason I believe My Forgiveness Card is effective is because it speaks to all women, past and present that never got to hear an apology and go through life feeling victimized. While the card can’t change you per se,  my hope is that each gesture of giving will offer the woman receiving the card a little “emotional space”  to heal.