MY Fun on web

Face of the year...

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 06:18:00 +0000

Santa goes for a test

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 06:15:00 +0000

Santa and a man were sitting outside a clinic. The man was crying like anything. So Hum Jayega asked, “Why are you crying?” The man replied, “I came here for blood test” Hum Jayega asked,” So? Are you afraid?” The man replied, “No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger” Hearing this Santa started crying. The man was astonished and asked Santa, “Why are you crying?” Santa replied, “I have come for my urine test.”

Water on Mars...

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 06:11:00 +0000

Exclusive pictures of Water on Mars...!!!!
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Queue- funny

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 05:59:00 +0000

Lol[:-)]

Trainee..lolzzz

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 05:57:00 +0000

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....

On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:

"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded:
"You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're
talking
to?"

"No" replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to,you
IDIOT?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.

"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone

Photoshop geniuses Part 3

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 05:50:00 +0000

Invisible!!!!!!!!!!!

DATE With mom

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 05:43:00 +0000

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie.

She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.

The other woman that my wife w anted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

"What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a sur prise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you," I responded. " Just the two of us."

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, " I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed t hat she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, "she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting".

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down,

I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said.

"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.

"How was your dinner date ?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I did to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: " I LOVE YOU!" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.

Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."

**********

Pass this along to everyone with an aging parent, to a child, to an adult, to anyone with a parent. Here's hoping today is better than yesterday and tomorrow
_________________
Thanks......

Italy..!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 19:40:00 +0000

Scenic Siena Province Tuscany Italy

Rialto Bridge Grand Canal Venice Italy

Ponte Vecchio Florence Italy

Piazza del Popolo RomeItaly

Morning Mist Over Hills Near Siena Tuscan

The Colosseum Rome Italy

Sunset Over Grand Canal Venice Italy

Statue of the Duke of Savoy SanCar lo Squar

St

Selinunte Sicily-Italy

Tre cime di Lavaredo Dolomites Italy

The Vatican Seen Past the Tiber River Rome

The Many Moods of Venice Italy

The Grand Canal of Venice Italy

The Dolomites Alps Italy

ValdOrcia Italy

Val Di Funes Dolomites Italy

Tuscan Morning Italy

Trinità dei Monti Church Spanish Steps Rome

Trevi Fountain Rome Italy

Verona Italy

Vernazza Italy

Venice Italy

Valley Vista Valdi Funes Italy

ValdOrcia Tuscany Italy

Hmmm...

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 20:47:00 +0000

Before & after marriage..

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 20:41:00 +0000

Before the marriage:

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.

Now after the marriage you can read it from bellow to up !!!!

Iguazu Falls...

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 20:12:00 +0000

Taller than Niagara Falls, twice as wide with 275 cascades spread in a horsehoe shape over nearly two miles of the Iguazu River, Iguazú Falls are the result of a volcanic eruption which left yet another large crack in the earth.

During the rainy season of November - March, the rate of flow of water going over the falls may reach 450,000 cubic feet (12,750 cubic m) per second.

Iguazú Falls, called Foz do Iguaçu in Brazilian, and Cataratas del Iguazú in Spanish, lie on the Argentina - Brazil border and are a UNESCO World Natural Heritage Site.

My first time...

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 20:10:00 +0000

MY FIRST TIME

It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came.
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow...

Eh..eh eh..
NOW ALL OF U DIRTY MINDS SAY 3 HAIL MARYS...

Guns n more guns...

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 20:02:00 +0000

Facts...

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 19:57:00 +0000

• The queen of England does not have the right to vote in any British election.
• The queen of England has two birthdays.
• The Queen termite can live up to 50 years and have 30,000 children every day.
• The raised reflective dots in the middle of highways are called Botts
• The rapid rate of expansion of gas is what gives steam its power. One volume of water, at normal atmospheric pressure and at the boiling point, yields 1,670 volume of steam.
• The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.
• The reason most mosquito bites itch is because mosquitoes inject saliva into the persons skin before they suck your blood. They take it out once they are done, but if they are forced to fly away, they don’t get a chance to draw the saliva out. And it is their saliva that causes the itch.
• The reason why the very beginning of The Wizard of Oz is black and white, is because color was not available at that point. When color was available, the writers decided to start using it in Munchkinland.
• The record for the biggest one day rainfall was set on Reunion Island in the Indian Ocean, on March 15, 1952, where 74 inches of rain fell in 24 hours.
• The record for the most weddings is held by King Mogul of Siam, who had 9000 weddings and 9000 wives.
• The red capes used to taunt bulls in bullfights is the same shade of red as the bull’s blood. That way you can’t tell it is covered with the bull’s blood by the end of the fight. Fight spectators like bullfighting, but not blood.`
• The red kangaroo of Australia can jump 27 feet in one bound.
• The red sea is not red.
• The red spot on the 7up cans comes from it’s inventor. He was an albino (albinos have red eyes).
• The regular garden variety caterpillar has 248 muscles in its head.
• The Republic of Israel was established April 23, 1948.
• The revolving door was invented August 7, 1888, by Theophilus Van Kannel, of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
• The Ribbon worm will start eating itself to avoid starvation
• The ridges on the sides of coins are called reeding or milling.
• The right lung is slightly larger than the left
• The right side of a boat was called the starboard side due to the fact that the astronavigators used to stand out on the plank (which was on the right side) to get an unobstructed view of the stars. The left side was called the port side because that was the side that you put in on at the port.
• The river Danube empties into the Black Sea.
• The rose family of plants, in addition to flowers, gives us apples, pears, plums, cherries, almonds, peaches and apricots.
• The rosy periwinkle plant, found in Madagascar, is used to cure leukemia.
• The rumble that is created when a Harley’s engine runs has been patented by the company
• The Russian Imperial Necklace has been loaned out by Joseff jewelers of Hollywood for 1,215 different feature films.
• The S in Harry S Truman stands for nothing.
• The safety pin was patented in 1849 by Walter Hunt. He sold the patent rights for $400.
• The Sahara Desert expands at a rate of about 1 km each month.
• The Sahara desert is larger as Europe and large then the combined areas of next largest 9 deserts.
• The Sahara Desert is over twice as big as the second largest desert in the world, The Australian Desert. The Sahara is 3.5 million square miles compared to the 1.47 million square miles of the Australian. This is “true” in the generic sense of the Autralian Desert. There is no Australian Desert. It is divided into many different deserts. What would be true would be to say the Sahara is bigger than the desert space in Australia (which is A LOT not sure how much as a percentage of the total land mass of australia).
• The sailfish can swim faster than a horse can gallop.
• The saluki is the oldest known breed of domesticated dog. Carvings of animals resembling the saluki have been found in excavations of the Sumerian Empire. They are believed to have originated from between 6,000 and 7,000 B.C.
• The salute of uniform bodies (eg. army, police) originated from knights who lifted their visors to show their face to a royalty.
• The same material that is used to make bulletproof glass is also used in Tupperware’s Rock ‘n Serve containers. The container, however, is not entirely bulletproof. Due to the lifetime warrantee on Tupperware products, the company will replace it for FREE! (Just in case you’re in quick need of a shield and a Rock ‘n Serve is the only thing handy)
• The San Diego Zoo in California has the largest collection of animals in the world.
• The sandwich is named for the Fourth Earl of Sandwich (1718-92), for whom sandwiches were made so that he could stay at the gambling table without interruptions for meals.
• The Santa Maria was the only one of Columbus’s ships not to return to Spain. It hit a reef on December 5, 1492 and sank.
• The saying ‘once in a blue moon ‘ refers to the occurrence of two full moons during one calendar month. The last two occurred in January & March 1999. The next one isn’t until the end of 2001.
• The science-fiction series “Lost in Space” (set in the year 1997) premiered on CBS in 1965.
• The sea contains about 1/2 of the world’s known animal groups
• The Sea of tranquility is found on the moon.
• The SEALs have been deployed in Vietnam, Laos, Panama, Bosnia, Haiti, Somalia, and Colombia.
• The search engine “Lycos” is named for Lycosidae, the Latin name for the wolf spider family. Unlike other spiders that sit passively in their web, wolf spiders are hunters, actively stalking their prey.
• The secretary-bird swallow hen’s egg whole without breaking its shell.
• The sentence “The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog.” uses every letter of the alphabet!

Hands up...!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 18:46:00 +0000

Peru hai kya....

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 18:44:00 +0000

A parrot goes to a shopkeeper and asks …’Peru hai kya?’
The shopkeeper says … ‘Nahi. Hum Peru nahi bechate.’
Next day at the same time, the parrot goes again and asks him
..’Peru hai kya ?’
He gets a little irritated and says… ‘Aare Bola na,Hum Peru nahi
Bechate’
On the third day, the parrot goes again and asks him ‘peru hai kya ?’
He gets wild and yells ….’Bola na naahi karake. Abhi vapas aaya to
hathoda marunga sar ke upar’
The next day,the parrot comes again and asks him ..’hathoda hai kya
?’
The shopkeeper says … ‘Nahi’
The parrot then asks … ‘Peru hai kya ?

Photoshop geniuses Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 18:33:00 +0000

Weird nature....

This is why newton commited sucide

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 18:26:00 +0000

Here is the reason.
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters.
Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife.
Guess, what he does?
He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster.. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah? Not even in your remotest imaginations.
He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun…. Bang…the gangster dies…
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops, not so fast!
The ‘climax’ finally arrives.
Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax.
(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)
Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton Commits Suicide!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Film bloppers

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 18:18:00 +0000

Love letter ho toh aisa!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 18:15:00 +0000

My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda ) , after WIPRO (Applying Thought) so much, I dare to say that you are my TVS SCOOTY (First love) and my AIWA (Pure passion). I always BPL (Believe in the best) and you are SANSUI (Better than the best) . You are DOMINO’S PIZZA (Delivering a million smiles) for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (Seriously fresh) feeling for me.
I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (The Unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (Born Tough) but don’t worry as I am also FORD ICON (The Josh Machine) and rest of our family members are KELVINATORS (The Coolest ones).
If they say no, we will run away and marry and PHILIPS (Let’s Make Things Better). They will feel MIRINDA (Zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in COCA COLA (Jo chahe ho jaye) . For our marriage SAMSUNG DIGITALL (Everyone’s Invited) and after marriage we’ll be WHIRLPOOL (U and ME - The World’s best homemakers)
Trust in God who’s always NOKIA (Connecting people) who love each other. And we are WILLS (Made for each other). Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (Real taste of life), SATYAM ONLINE (Fun, Fast, Easy) and PARX (Always Comfortable). So never forget me. Ok bye!
I wrote little but PEPSI (Yeh dil mange more).
LG (Digitally Yours)!!!!!

Jail in Austria

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 21:06:00 +0000

Hold my hand

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 21:04:00 +0000

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he
asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into
the river. " The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand." "What's the difference?"
Asked the puzzled father. "There's a big difference," replied the little girl."If I hold
your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you
hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.
" In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold
the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold urs... This msg is
too short..........but carries a lot of Feelings

Spider web after rains...

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 21:00:00 +0000

Mars!

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 20:51:00 +0000

Conversation...and confusion

noreply@blogger.com (Jayesh) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 15:15:00 +0000

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That’s what I want to know.
Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.
George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow’s name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The main man in China!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?
Condi: I’m telling you, Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That’s the man’s name.
George: That’s who’s name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he’s dead in the Middle East.
Condi: That’s correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don’t want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone