My Funny Offspring

Say no to Oso

2011-06-22T16:59:00.000-07:00

Today my offspring and I were watching cartoons. Special Agent Oso came on, a show in which a bear flies around helping kids do menial tasks. As Oso got his "special assignment", he asked the viewers if they can help him on his special assignment. My offspring screamed "NO!" and threw a balloon at the TV. He was in no mood for Oso's shenanigans.

Muah!

2011-06-17T14:00:00.000-07:00

Today as I was getting ready to go out, my offspring pushed past me to see himself in the mirror. He introduced himself to his reflection - "Hi, I'm Chase." - and then proceeded to kiss and lick his reflection for the next 15 minutes.

Rawr means 'I love you' in dinosaur

2011-06-15T18:43:00.000-07:00

Today my offspring saw me put a slushie in the freezer. He went in his room and grabbed his giant dinosaur (its about 2 feet tall), dragged it over to the fridge and climbed up. He tried opening the freezer and hit himself in the forehead with the freezer door, so he closed it again. He tries 2 more times with the same results. The fourth time, he leans back and the freezer door clears his head, but he lost his balance on his dinosaur and fell. I rewarded him with slushie for his valiant effort.

Iphone

2011-06-13T05:01:00.000-07:00

Today my offspring spent the morning playing with the Iphone on the couch. Boring baby is boring

Chips

2011-06-12T05:34:00.000-07:00

Today my offspring spent about 10 mins trying to eat the picture of a chip on the outside of the chip bag

Flashing lights

2011-06-10T13:55:00.000-07:00

Today I bought my offspring one of those light-up spinning globes and then went into the kitchen to make dinner. He looked around to see if anyone was looking and then started licking the globe. When he saw me looking he stopped mid lick and looked embarrassed.

Mystery Solved

2011-06-10T13:23:00.000-07:00

I got a text from my babysitter the other night. When asked where his diapers were my offspring responded with "In my pants, with my penis"
Submitted by Amber

Look ma! No hands!

2011-06-10T10:15:00.000-07:00

Today my offspring thought it would be fun to eat his snack without using his hands. He threw chips on the floor one at a time, and then laid down and chased them around the floor using only his mouth.

The Ant and the Asphalt

2011-06-10T09:53:00.000-07:00

Today my offspring found an ant on the sidewalk. He decided a good way to take care of it would be to punch it. He missed it completely and ended punching the sidewalk. He shook it off like a champ