Forget me not!

Stranger — Mon, 23 Apr 2018 19:58:56 +0000

Spending my days with a hope that one day I might be able to go to sleep without thinking of you.

And the worst part is, forgetting you still feels like forgetting myself.

So I remember you, just before I go to bed.

And I have learned to fall asleep with the sound of my heart breaking. I welcome my nightmares now. And when I wake up scared as hell in the middle of the night, I long to go back to them. For you see, reality is my worst nightmare now.

And each morning I wake up, I somehow manage to put on a smile, that nobody but you could see through. And some days I feel confident I will get through it. And the other days I am here. Hoping like hell for that one day when it stops hurting.

Stranger — Fri, 20 Apr 2018 14:52:50 +0000

You’ll go through this hell and I promise you, you’ll think of me. You’ll be missing me to the point of wishing to die. You’ll destroy your every single relationship because of it. I promise you, you wont be able to live. Then you’ll know what it is really like to kill oneself.

I promise you, you’ll look for me like crazy. And I promise you, you wont recognize the person you’ll find. I promise you wont get ME.

I promise you, you will find out then what it is really like to have no choice. I promise you, you’ll find what real pain is. I promise you, you’ll die every single second of every single day. Then you’ll know what you made me go through.

“I will always wait for you.”

Stranger — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 17:18:50 +0000

So, in order to heal myself, I had to delete all the crap I had of you. And while doing that, I desperately wanted to stop myself from looking into stuff, knowing it will drag me towards the endless pit of misery again. But in the end, I did what I shouldn’t have, I ended up reading something and I really regret it. Because it is killing me now, knowing you are not there. Knowing somehow even more than before how you and I used to be so close. What happened? How did you turn out to be this jerk of a person? I miss the old you. I miss who I used to be with you. I miss us. I need to go back in time and never let you go. Never let you be this person I don’t even recognize. I need to go back and hold on to you forever. Cuz may be then I could breathe.