My Kid Really Said That

I have NEVER...

2012-01-23T12:26:00.001-08:00

I saw a list like this on a blog today and thought it might be fun...except the whole time I felt sorry for this lady...so don't feel bad for me, unless doing so makes you want to fund a much-needed vacation to Cali!

I have NEVER been stung by a bee

I have NEVER ridden in a Limo

I have NEVER been tail-gating

I have NEVER been scuba diving

I have NEVER smoked/seen drugs

I have NEVER been drunk (not bragging, just sayin')

I have NEVER been to California (the only one in my family)

I have NEVER made home made soup

I have NEVER grilled on a grill

I have NEVER watched Family Guy (hopefully never will)

I have NEVER water-skiid

I have NEVER been to NYC

I have NEVER lived alone

I have NEVER eaten at Melting Pot (my sisters don't believe it, but it's true)

I have NEVER spent more than a night away from my kids (except when having a kid)

I have NEVER liked meatloaf (my aunt ruined it forever years ago)

I have NEVER had a nose ring (but kind of want one)

I have NEVER seen the Godfathers, Tombstone, Rambo, or Vision Quest

I have NEVER changed the weight on my driver's license (and NEVER will :)

I have NEVER said the eff word (but have come close a few times)

I have NEVER seen a Panda Bear (and really want to for some reason)

I have NEVER broken a bone

I have NEVER sold plasma

I have NEVER eaten tofu

That's all I can think of at the moment. Just kind of fun to do :)

The 12 Months of '11

2012-01-02T07:26:00.000-08:00

Just a little recap of the crazy year we just had...

Jan - We had found out Baby E #3 was a boy and could not for love or money come up with a name. I was working full-time. Julia was having fun in Kindergarten. Josh was being his sweet self and Jason was venturing into a new career.

Feb - Jason spent a week in St. Louis while I realized the unbelievably exhausting plight of a single mom. I took the kids to the Newport Aquarium by my pregnant self while he was gone. We had so much fun! (but I will never ever do that alone again)

March - March ended with me being done with work just in time to hang out with Julia for her spring break - and Josh, too, of course. We loved waking up with nothing to do, as I was changing gears from working mom of 2 to stay at home mom of 3 - with 11 weeks before Mr. Baby was due.

April - Oh geez, where do I start? Those 11 weeks I thought I had before Mr. Baby would come turned out to be 3 weeks. On April 16 at 1:42pm, Mr. Seth Freeman Ennis was born weighing 3lbs 8.6oz and 16 inches long. He was tiny, yet perfect. The last half of April was spent at the Special Care Nursery loving on this little gift, watching him grow and waiting for the ok that he was ready to come home.

May - Our daily trip(s) to visit Seth came to an end on May 12 - when he was finally discharged. I remember dressing him in his tiny blue preemie outfit, placing him in a car seat that swallowed him up in its straps, saying good-bye to the precious nurses, and heading for home with a smile no one could smack off of me. Later in the month, Jason turned 37 and Julia had a pink hawaiian party for her 6th birthday.

June - Kids went to VBS while I claimed maternity leave for not teaching. :) Loved having a few hours a day to get things done or just cuddle quietly with Baby Seth. Josh turned 3 and had a Spiderman party and Jason and I celebrated 11 yrs of marriage by going out for dinner and shopping.

July - My youngest sister Grace married "Uncle Phil" on July 1st. We had so much fun at the wedding - loved having all of our family together.

Aug - Lots of lazy days enjoying summer. We did King's Island and the Zoo...Swam at Grandpa and Grandma Ennis', Story time at Church...and then Julia started 1st grade.

Sept - After Julia started 1st grade, Joshua started pre-school. He LOVES Miss Liza and all of his friends there.

Oct - I started back to work full-time missing the kids so much I could hardly breathe. I love what I do, who I work with and who I work for, but nothing is better than getting to be Mom all day every day. I'm counting down to the time I get to be 100% Mom again in March. On a sad note, though, I lost my cousin Steve Oct 8...He was one of my best friends growing up and I was so honored to be able to share some of our memories at his funeral service. I hope he knew how special he was...He is missed by so many....

Nov - I turned 32 and am pretty cool with this age. I don't feel young/naive, but I don't feel old/feeble. I can work with this. Over Thanksgiving, the entire Estepp family spent a week on a beach in Florida. Such a wonderful gift to have everyone together. Jason and I took our kids for a day at Magic Kingdom...and it was just that - Magic. Julia and Joshua had a ball seeing their favorite characters and riding the rides. My cousin Krissy and her daughter Peyton joined us, too. Definitely a day we will not forget...Can't wait to go again!

Dec - Busy. Busy. Busy. Julia sang in our churches children's choir, Joshua was still his sweet self - but not wanting to sleep in his own bed, Seth got his first ear infection and Christmas. We woke up early to see what Santa brought, had brunch at Nanna/Poppa's, snacks at Jason's parents and then dinner at my Uncle Steve's. The day is jam packed - exhausting - but wonderful. I can't imagine spending it any other way.

Here's to 2012! After all of the highs and lows of 2011...I'm ready for a new year with new beginnings, aren't you?

One Year Ago

2011-10-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

One year ago today, I learned sweet Seth was on his way...again...

I think about that phone call from the nurse a lot, maybe too much, to be honest - but having your child "come back to life" in a sense is truly something that surpasses my wildest imaginations.

From finding out Seth was coming to the nurse's mistake saying he wasn't to the call 5 days later saying my HCG numbers looked great to pain in my side symptomatic of an ectopic pregnancy to having an ultrasound reveal no tubal pregnancy, but perhaps now a molar pregnancy...

To receiving another call that things were fine.....To his rather dramatic birth....

My darling Seth has taught me a lot about trusting God...

While I was pregnant with him, I posted Proverbs 3:5-6 above my computer.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."

I must have read this a million times - constantly giving my fears to Him and NOT relying on anything I thought I understood. I learned never to be so arrogant to think I know what God's plans are, but to be thankful that even when things don't seem o.k. - Trusting God completely allows me the freedom to know it's o.k.

We chose Seth's name because it means "Appointed." I thought it was appropriate for a little boy meant to be here as part of our family. I remember reminding God as I prayed while being wheeled in to the OR that my little boy was appointed and begged God to let my tiny baby to be born crying....and he was :) ...I took that powerful baby cry as a gift of certainty that Seth was completely in God's hands. I relied on this gift throughout his stay at the hospital...and even today.

So after this roller coaster of a year, I am very grateful that we are on the other side of it....The 5 of us together knowing we are more than o.k....moreso, we are having the time of our life!

Since Seth

2011-08-25T18:24:00.000-07:00

Sweet baby Seth turned 4 months last week...and it's so strange to think he's 4 months old already, yet his birth and stay in the hospital seems like a life time ago, too. Time is such a funny thing....

He had his dr. appt. last Monday. He weighed in 11lb. 11oz. and the dr. is very happy...actually, she said "Delighted" with how he's growing. Music to this momma's ears! I kind of find myself on edge about his size. Practically everyone we meet comments on how little he is and I can't tell if that's just something everyone says about babies (bc yep, babies are small) or if it's that noticeable that he was a preemie. So after every comment, I feel compelled to spill the story of how he was early, but doing great...yadda, yadda, yadda....Totally something I need to get over. I don't think anything is malicious, at all, I'm just a bit sensitive, I guess.

Having 3 kids, so far, really hasn't been too hard (ask me again when Seth goes mobile!). We have mastered the art of getting in and out of the car :) thanks to Julia being my big girl helper with buckling and unbuckling Joshua. Julia loves to play up stairs with her Barbies and Josh is content playing the leapster while I feed Seth. We got our groove on and I hope it stays this way for awhile.

My goal through all of this is to show love through patience - and to NOT NOT NOT sweat the small stuff. I know I could spend all day yelling at them for the silly things they do/say (don't get me started on words neighbor kids taught my innocent babies!!! ;) or I could lose my mind cleaning all day everyday (bc of the silly things they do), but I trying to find balance.

Parenting is a marathon, fo sho.

Stationery card

2011-06-14T19:18:00.001-07:00

Cocoa Plaid Birth Announcement

To see Shutterfly's birth announcement designs, click here.

View the entire collection of cards.

Snuggle In and Meet Seth (uber-post)

2011-05-19T12:51:00.000-07:00

There have been several moments in my life where one phrase or one look or one prayer showed me instantly that my life was going to change....I remember the feeling in my heart the first time I met Jason, first sight of my two older children and a few other times here and there.

Thursday, April 14, I had that same feeling after my routine dr. appt. when my doctor told me gently to go straight to the hospital and "let's not worry about making your next appt." I walked out thinking "this guy doesn't think I'm coming back!" My blood pressure was high, there was a lot of protein in my system and all signs pointed to pre-eclampsia. While I didn't know at the time that that would lead to my baby being born 48 hours later at 32 weeks, I knew my plans for this baby had just been thrown out the window.

I got to the hospital around noon. My nurse Jane's eyes bugged out when she took my blood pressure. After the results of my blood work came in, I was told I'd be spending the night...Then within hours of being admitted, I was told I wasn't going home before I delivered the baby. Needless to say, I was freaked out. I didn't have my hospital bag packed. I didn't have arrangements for the big kids (though if you know my amazing family, that didn't matter as my parents and sisters stepped in w/out question)...and most of all - This was NOT part of my birth plan!

I had extensively planned in my mind how this baby was to be born. I would have no drugs. No narcissistic doctor. A perfect Baby Seth iPod playlist (which I did have happily). A "my way or the highway" attitude with nurses who tried to tell me what to do. Breastfeed right away. Walk around shortly after showing off my beautiful 8 pound or so baby boy. Then leave a day later as a family of 5.

It couldn't have gone any differently. A complete 180.

I found myself hooked up to something medical at every extremity. Leg wraps to prevent blood clots. A blood pressure cuff that went off every 20 minutes. A huge IV port...and the dreaded catheter. Oh, and someone taking blood from the underside of my fore arm what felt like every few hours. There was no walking around. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth tips didn't matter anymore. I was bedridden.

Instead of telling the nurses what I wanted or didn't want, I was at their mercy. I became so weak that I could barely speak or lift my head, so drugged that reality was hazy and so swollen I could hardly see those a few feet in front of me. With all of this, I do remember these angels of women coming in to make sure I had what I needed and who tried to keep me as comfortable as possible. They did what they needed to, quite frankly, keep me and my baby alive - and I will forever be grateful for their skill and compassion.

The dr. (who thankfully was NOT the same one I had with Julia and Josh, but is now allowed to deliver my pizzas ;) wanted to hold off delivery until Sunday to give the steroid shots I'd been given enough time to be fully effective in preparing the baby's lungs for air, but by Saturday afternoon it was apparent that my body was not going to keep the baby healthy and this pregnancy was putting my health in serious jeopardy. His heart rate was falling as were my red blood counts while my liver enzymes were rising. At 1pm, the dr. came in and told us we'd be having our baby in 3o minutes. A nurse came in and said the anesthesiologist could be ready in 2 hours. My doctor shook her head and said, "No, we need him right now." I was numb. I'm not sure if it was the drugs, my trust in the doctor or my trust in God - maybe all three, but I couldn't freak out. I couldn't cry over the possibilities of harm to my baby being forced out of his perfect home 8 weeks early or panic in fear of a C-section. Jason and I just stared at each other with a quiet solidity knowing we had no other choice.

They wheeled me to the OR and after a horrible epidural experience with Julia's delivery, I closed my eyes the whole way down the hall and prayed that the spinal would work - Thank God it did....

I don't know how many people were in the operating room. It felt like 100. I couldn't see faces - just a host of people in yellow scrubs. I do, though, distinctly remember my doctor casually talking about her husband's profession and how they have their trust (as in legal - not marital) set up. Hearing her talk so non-chalantly gave me the impression I was ok. I mean, if this was a life or death situation, would her husband's career path really be relevant?

After a few minutes and a lady practically jumping up and down on my chest (I still don't know what that was about), Baby Seth Freeman Ennis was born at 1:42pm weighing 3 pounds and 8 ounces. He was 16 inches long and came out screaming...I had prayed he'd come out crying and his sweet cry gave me peace.

The neonatologist (I think) gave me a quick look at Seth and whisked him off to be evaluated. I heard someone call out an APGAR of 7-8, which sounded good to me for a baby born 2 months early.

I didn't see Seth again until Sunday night and honestly, I don't remember much of the rest of Saturday or Sunday. My family ate Marions pizza in my room Saturday night and I have no memory of that, at all. I don't know if I slept or talked or even thought of the new sweet life in my life. I vaguely remember blacking out when Susan (a wonderful gift of a nurse who saw a picture of me Jason brought and couldn't believe I was the same person she was taking care of - yes, I was that swollen!) and Jason tried to get me out of bed and into a chair. I fell over and heard someone yelling for smelling salts....I also remember another nurse telling me my blood counts were on the cusp of needing a blood transfusion...thankfully, they must have gone up since that was the last we heard of that!

Sunday night, I was wheeled from L&D to the Mother/Baby unit. We made a quick stop to the NICU to see Seth. I put my hand into is isolette and touched his tiny hand almost in disbelief of all that had happened in such a short amount of time. He looked so fragile, yet all his nurses said he was stable and really doing well considering how sick I was. He didn't need any oxygen or any life sustaining measures... just basic preemie care.

Monday, I got a shower! After not being able to shower for 5 days, let me tell you it was a shower I will never forget. I could barely walk or see, but I didn't care. It was one step in the direction of feeling human and I LOVED it...

After cleaning myself up, Jason wheeled me back to our sweet Seth and I got to hold him for the first time. It was so odd holding my very own child 2 days after he was born and not only that, holding him with all sorts of wires hooked up to him. Still, as I held him knowing he was mine, I felt a sense of victory and relief. We had already been through so much together and all signs were showing we were going to be fine.

My blood pressure continued to stay elevated and there was talk of keeping me more days than typical, but thankfully, when Wednesday came, I was discharged with a prescription for blood pressure medicine and a "take it easy" talk from the nurse.

Leaving Seth that day was bitter-sweet. We knew he was in the best place for his condition, but hated the reality that he wasn't healthy enough to come home with us. He stayed in the NICU for 26 days. It seemed like everyday we went to visit, we received a great report on his progress. The nurses and doctors were incredible and we truly felt the love they had for our baby and the pride they had in their role in getting him home.

He came home Thursday, May 12. It was one of the most memorable days of my life. Finally, our family was together and ready to start our lives as a family of five.

So here's the story of Seth's birth. It definitely wasn't what I had envisioned, but I am just so thankful for this happy ending. God has blessed us with another amazing gift in the form of a precious baby boy and I can't wait to see what He has in store for the 5 of us.....

Just What I Needed

2011-03-24T10:38:00.000-07:00

I'm going to come clean about something....

I love my children, but being pregnant is not my favorite thing in the world. I do not feel glowing. I do not feel one with the earth, etc. I am uncomfortable from day 1 through the day they are born...and then some. I see this 9mth incubation as a small price to pay for the lifetime of love and joy I know they bring to the world, but UGH! - getting them here....UGH!

I get winded doing small tasks like blow drying my hair! Let alone the everyday stuff a mom of two has to do....Getting kids dressed, making beds, picking up clothes, doing dishes....you know, just stuff...

...and let me tell you about me feet! By the end of the day, they feel horrible and seem enormous!

Last night, though, my achy swollen feet brought out a side of my Julia I don't think I've ever seen...

I was putting her to bed and pretty much just flopped down beside her telling her that my feet were huge and achy so I needed to lie down. Her little head was already on her pillow, but as soon as I said that, she popped up and told me, "Mommy, I can rub them for you. That will make the feel better."

She ripped off the covers and grabbed each foot one at a time and gave me the sweetest little foot rub ever.

When she was done, she said smiling, "I know that helps because when my legs ache, Daddy rubs them and makes them feel all better, too."

How thankful I am for a husband who is teaching our little firecracker compassion. It really makes having achy, swollen feet worth it....
So we have about 10 more weeks or so to deal with the preggo whininess ;), but evenso, I am so grateful and know it is allllll worth it.....

Truth about Jules and Dogs

2011-03-13T14:32:00.001-07:00

The difference between my children can be witnessed every time the ASPCA "Arms of the Angels" commercial comes on.

Julia: "Mom, can't we just fast forward? I don't like this...Why are they singing about angels? Dogs aren't angels. Angels aren't in cages. Angels don't smell."

Joshua: "Puppy dog sad....Puppy dog need hug..." (Sarah MacLachlan appears petting her dog) "Puppy dog happy now. Puppy dog need love. I love puppy dog."

Wii are Learning to Lose....

2011-03-09T18:11:00.001-08:00

This past Christmas we got a Wii...Maybe a little behind the curve, but with younger kids I didn't think they'd have too much fun with it and I definitely didn't want to lose my husband to Mario Cart, etc.

Anyway, it has been so much fun! While I'm not that into playing it, I love watching Jason and Julia go up against each other and up until recently Josh has been content to pretend he's playing with them.

Last night, it all changed. God only knows how, but Josh has learned how to play the Wii golf trainer...you know, where you hit the ball onto the big targets.

Not only did he learn how to play, he somehow beats the heck out of Julia's score...everytime...and we have learned that hell hath no fury like Julia losing to her 2 yr old brother.

After the 3rd consecutive loss, she hurled her remote to the front door, walked over to an oblivious Joshua and gave him a 1-2 Rocky Balboa knock to the head. He cried and she was swiftly picked up by my 6.5 mth pregnant self and dragged up the stairs into her room for a very firm talking to...

I love that she hates to lose, but teaching her losing is ok, inevitable and absolutely no excuse to go psycho on her brother is going to take some work. I told her next time she doesn't win to tell Josh "good job." She said, "No way." So I told her she could add "but I'm going to beat you next time," which made her smile a little.

Unfortunately or fortunately, she has some time to perfect her response as she is in a Wii time-out for the next few days....as Josh continues to perfect his swing....

Good OBs vs. The SOBs

2011-02-14T06:56:00.000-08:00

Yes, another baby post....but I was reading a question on iVillage that got me thinking about a little situation I have with the OB practice I go to...

The lady on iVillage loves her dr., but he is in a group of OB's and one of the other drs. is a real prick - and she wants to know if there is anything she can do about it if that dr. is on call when she goes into labor.

That, friends, is a great question...as I am in the same boat. There are 6 OB's at my place. Two I LOVE LOVE LOVE....Two I like enough to be cool having deliver my babies...Two I wouldn't want to deliver my pizza.

Sadly, with both my kids, the same stone cold dr was on call. Both times, she came in at the last possible second - said nothing - I knew nothing about what was going on aside from hellish pain - my sweet baby popped out - and then she left - in silence.

If you know me, you know I don't need any coddling or ooshy-gooshy bonding with my dr. I need to know what's going on and I need to know they are there when I'm ready to get the kid out. Though now that I think about it, a smile and "congratulations" seem appropriate, too, for some one I am paying out the hoohaa (pun intended) to for their services....

So, now that I'm approaching Mr. Baby's big day, I am wondering....What can I do to eliminate the chance of having one of the SOB's ("Stone"-cold OB's) deliver my most-likely last baby?

I've always been scheduled to be induced...and went into labor early....so that doesn't seem to work....though I will try again...

I could find out who's on call when I go into labor and if it's one of them, start speaking in Spanish saying I have no OB....The resident has to be better than either of the SOBs.

I tried prayer with Joshua and God said "no"....though I am giving that another shot starting right now...

If anyone has any ideas, send them my way....Muchas Gracias por tu informacion!

Julia's Heart for Missions...um, yeah....

2011-02-07T07:33:00.000-08:00

This morning while getting ready to school, Julia ran across the invitation to her dedication service, which is similar to a christening or baby baptism except no water is involved. It's more about us as parents promising before our church family to raise our child in a home that loves God and seeks His will for our family....

I read the invitation to Julia and she goes..."I wish I would've been there."

I replied, "Sweetie, you were there. You were just a baby though....When you new brother is born you get to go up to the front of the sanctuary with us as his big sister. Won't that be fun?"

"YES!" she smiled with her blue eyes shining. "The sanctuary! That's where I want to do missions!"

My Jesus loving heart skipped a beat....My little girl wanting to do missions! I had visions of her serving the poor, the hungry...Giving clothes to the needy, etc.

"Oh Julia that's wonderful! What kind of missions work do you think you'd want to do?"

"Well, I'll start in the balcony...crawl across the back to the light switches....turn those off and run down the stairs to the stage where no one can see me....''

She continued on and on....ending with jumping out and scaring somebody....

Seriously, Rachel? Do you know your child, at all?

She definitely is more of a "Mission: Impossible"-type girl...but I do trust God has great plans for her despite it or maybe involving it! :)

Oh Jason!

2011-01-10T13:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, it's not my kids who really said that....

While I as at my office, Jason called me from home a few weeks ago....We were talking about the kid's schedules as he was picking up toys in the great room...

All of the sudden, he shouts, "HOLY CRAP!!!!!" - with the inflection of someone who just found a dead body stuffed in a closet.

Scared, I asked him what was going on.

"Someone wrote 'Julia Ennis" on the ottoman in green crayon!" - like a mystery killer was on the loose.

Really, Jason? Who do you think? My best guess is...Julia Ennis?

Made me laugh...What a goofball!

2010 Top Ten

2010-12-31T10:53:00.000-08:00

So maybe it's a little cliche to do a "Top 10" for the year on New Year's Eve, but I hope to have this blog to look back at parts of my life and hope whatever I've written brings back memories or lessons learned I have most-likely forgotten years from now.....So in no particular order....

10. I got to spend 7 months as a full time stay at home mom for the first time ever! It was so fun and rewarding and oh, how I miss being with my kids all day. We went to the zoo, Kings Island, parks, pools, and more - but even lazy days at home were wonderful. I can't wait to be back with them again this spring.

9. Prayer....I learned not to pray to ask God to change His ways, but for Him to change my ways to His. This past year I, along with hundreds - no, thousands - of people all over the world begged God to heal our friend Mary Ann. She passed away in May leaving a huge hole in the lives of those I love - and left me questioning the purpose of asking God for anything if He's going to do what He wants anyway. But prayer is not about getting what we want, is it? It's about learning who God is and making Him part of our lives. I know she is missed everyday, but would want those missing her to keep prayer at the forefront or their lives....

8. "Taming the Spirited Child" - a book my mother-in-law gave me as I found myself a little desparate to reign in my sweet Julia girl. She is so much like me and going head to head with her was going nowhere. If your kid is strong-willed, check it out.

7. Jason and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary. I cannot believe we've been married that long. He remains my best friend and love of my life.

6. On a lighter note....We decided we had had enough of our horrible, drywall eating, knappy dog Spanky and sent his furry behind to the pound. You can judge me all you want, but getting rid of him ranks not only in the top ten of my year, but the top ten of my life!

5. In May, we took a trip to Destin, Fl. It was a perfect get away for the 4 of us. Julia and Josh are both fishes - loving the water. We had fun combing the beach for crabs and jellyfish (no, we didn't touch them!).

4. Little House on the Prairie with Julia....We probably have every episode DVR'd and I absolutely love how much she loves it. During Joshua's nap, we'd be on the couch giggling as Laura pushed Nellie down the hill in her wheel chair or as Mrs. Oleson walked around at night in her green face cream. Great memories....

3. Potty-training Josh. I hate changing diapers - and not having a pay check I hated buying them. So soon after his 2nd birthday, we hopped on the "Stay dry" wagon with some-what easy success considering he's a boy. I'm so happy it's over!

2. Going back to work...Hmmmm...While I miss my children desparately, I have to admit my job is fun and the people I work with are great. If I have to have to work, this is totally the place I want to be!

1. I know I've devoted many a post to our baby on the way - but what can top adding a new little guy to the family?

Hope you have a wonderful New Year!

If You Really Knew Me...

2010-12-27T12:46:00.000-08:00

...You'd know that about 5 minutes after I posted my last post I called my friend Lee at a local women's center to schedule a 3D/4D ultrasound and find out if I have a Miss Baby or Mr. Baby....Why I thought I had a prayer to make to 40 weeks I do not know....Where is my self-awareness? Gone, I guess.

We had the ultrasound last Wednesday, but waited until Christmas to tell everyone the fun news....

We had just finished opening presents at my parent's house when I pulled out a surprise present for Julia telling her that Mommy and Daddy got a new picture of the baby and the present inside would tell her if it was a baby boy or a baby girl.

She popped off the top of the gold star box and pulled out....

a LITTLE BROTHER bib!

Everyone cheered/high-fived, etc. It was fun :)

So I'm having a little remorse proclaiming my Team Pink-ness, but you need to know my pinkness came from wanting a sister for Julia and definitely not from not wanting another sweet baby boy. We are truly very excited to add another little man to our family. Julia remains the princess on the pedestal and my dad will need to get two carts when golfing in about 10 years or so...No, those boys can walk...It's good excercise....

Anywho, now we have moved on the what are we going to name this little guy...I'm open to suggestions as long as your open to "Hellz no" being my reply if appropriate. Seriously, we struggling with this one! Thankfully, we have some time.....

3rd Time's a .......Hmmmm?

2010-12-15T10:00:00.000-08:00

So if you haven't heard (or read previous post) - Yes! We are having another baby! We've known for some time now, so the reality is gradually sinking in...despite my countless blood draws, 2 extra dr. appts., 3 ultrasounds, constant nausea, random barfing, bedtime at 8:30pm and general crankiness with the world.

Aside from that, we are just so excited! Julia is certain it is a girl to be named Charlotte (after Charlotte's Web) or Sophia (after idk) - but she informed me sweetly that if God gives us another boy that it'd be ok. Joshua is completely and understandably oblivious on how his world is about to get rocked, though I am confident that he, being the lover-boy he is, is going to be a great big bro.

I hate to admit it, but I'm totally on Team Pink! Joshua is the sweetest, most wonderful little boy God ever created (I'm biased, I know) - but he has a built in older bro in the form of his fun cousin Owen, and a built in BFF in the form of his little cousin (who is about as sweet as himself) Griffin. Three grandsons on my side also gives my dad a perfect 4-some to take golfing.

This leaves Julia - the lone princess - which does have some perks, but growing up with 3 sisters, I am a firm believer that every girl needs a sister. She does have wonderful cousins on Jason's side who live out of the area, which makes holidays and get togethers so fun, but oh how I would love for her to have a sister to grow up with!

So this brings me to the issue of "Do we find out???"

We have all the boy things we need and all the girl things we need, so preparation is minimal. No need to read up on taking care of circumcisions or girlie parts. We have the basics covered. I've heard from those who waited that it is one of life's greatest surprises - which I agree, but isn't it a fun surprise at 20 weeks, too?

I'm about 80% sure we will find out, but as this is most-likely (or as Jason would say "definitely") our last baby, I can't help but imagine the excitement in the delivery room waiting to find out if it's a boy or a girl (ie Rehearsal Dinner or Wedding :)

Thankfully, we have a little bit of time before deciding to or not to....I'll keep you posted....

Julia Punk'd Josh

2010-12-01T07:32:00.000-08:00

So, there's a little practical joke war going on at my office...Somebody taped my cube....Somebody put toner all over one of my co-worker's phone so he ended up with black stuff all over the side of his head (hilarious, hilarious, hilarious) and so on...

I made the mistake of telling Julia....who decided these were great ideas...

Last night, I was telling her stories in her bed while Jason was helping Josh brush his teeth.

From her room, I heard the water running and Josh gagging, spitting, whimpering, and Jason asking him if he's ok over and over again.

I sat up and asked Jason what was going on...and then Julia looked up at me smiling, "Mom, I did something funny."

"What?"

"I put soap all over Joshy's toothbrush," her eyes shining. "Wasn't that a good one?"

I hopped out of her bed just in time to see Josh throw up in the hallway. It was pitiful. His eyes were red as he kept spitting. Jason ran down stairs to get him water.

The soap dispenser said call poison control so I did. Julia was at my side begging me to tell the lady that it was an accident...She really did feel bad not knowing that it would make him sick...

Thankfully, Josh is fine. Hand soap just gives you a tummy ache at most....He fell asleep shortly after with no other issues.

So whatever riff raff shananigans happen at my office will be kept mum at my house from now on...Thank God she doesn't know what toner is!

Thankful x 3

2010-11-24T08:52:00.000-08:00

So Thanksgiving is tomorrow and like the rest of the country is doing (or should be doing :), I've been thinking a lot about thankfulness...

...Especially in light of the new addition coming to our family Spring 2011.

Many of you probably don't know that there were several years that Jason and I wondered if we'd ever have children. Growing up, it's one of those things you assume....You know, you get married and have kids (though sometimes not in that order) - but none-the-less, it's something I assumed...blindly assumed.

Three years after throwing out the pill with no baby to show for it, we decided to see a specialist who gave us hope and a very calculated plan -but three months and several painful procedures later - nothing.

They gave us the option of me having surgery (which insurance covered, but required 6 weeks of down time) or starting a "shot" regimen (which was $1,000+ a month that insurance didn't cover).

We decided to take a month off to pray - believing God had a purpose and plan for our lives, but truly having no idea what it was!

It was that month off that Julia, our sweet miracle, came to be.

The years before she came into our lives, I felt tested like I've never been tested before. I knew God knew our heart's desire, but His silence to it was confusing. Yet it was in that silence I found myself desparate to know Him more. If He was going to be quiet, I wasn't. I grew more as a Believer and a person more in those years than I had ever before.

During this time, I had to learn how to be thankful despite not getting my way - something I had never really had to do and a lesson I have tried to apply in every dark circumstance I've encountered since...."Give thanks in everything" took on a whole new meaning and was not something that came easily to me, but I knew it was a place I needed to be and I got there....after a lot of kicking and screaming and reflection and truth-searching.

So here I am sitting 6 years since seeing those beautiful pink lines telling me God finally said "yes!" and I am overwhelmed to the point of it almost being unthinkable that we will be a family of 5. I am grateful beyond measure for the gifts in my life. Even on the hardest days, I go to bed smiling amazed at God's goodness to me and my family.

I share this story to share my belief in God's faithfulness, not to broadcast how blessed I think I am...I know many people still waiting for their "Yes!" - and I hope my story brings you hope and confidence in what God is doing in your life....

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving and I trust this season you, too, find yourself thankful for everything He sends your way....

Like Lazarus...

2010-10-29T11:53:00.000-07:00

Did I ever tell you that we announced our pregnancy with Julia at my sister Joanna's birthday only to have Julia be born a few days before her high school graduation? I hope it didn't take any wind out of her sails on her special days....

So on the afternoon of September 24 when I took a HPT that was positive I kind of laughed at the irony knowing my sister Grace was getting engaged that night! Being early in the pregnany as I was (and from sad experiences before), we decided to keep this little surprise to ourselves for a little bit...

I called the dr. and asked for a beta HCG blood test where they draw 2 days apart and look for an increase in your levels. My first draw was on a Tuesday and second was on Thursday.

Anxious to hear the results, I called the dr office after my Thursday lab to see what the starting numbers were. The little old nurse had to look it up on the website and after a few minutes came back and said, "I don't know the context of the results, but your HCG is negative and your progesterone is 0.1." I told her that I was hoping to be pregnant, but I guess this wasn't our time. I hung up very, very sad thinking "why did I even go get the second lab work done?"

We hadn't told our families and I was going back and forth about ever telling them. Why make them sad? I didn't need any pity and with Grace getting married there was so much happiness going around. I didn't feel the need to damper any of it...

On October 4th, 5 days after hearing the bad news, I was sitting at my desk on my first day back to work since having the summer off when I got a call from the dr. office. They had my second results. Again, I was thinking what does it matter....until the nurse on the line said, "The doctor looked at your HCG numbers. They went from 46 to 126 and he is pleased with the increase...."

I stopped her. "Ma'am, I spoke to a nurse on Thursday. She said my test was negative. She said I had no HCG levels....Are you sure you are talking to the right person? "

Silence.

"Let me bring up the website and double check."

...and I waited for 3 minutes on hold...

"Rachel, I looked it over and had my manager look it over and you are pregnant. These are your results - no doubt about it."

Like Lazarus coming back days later...The little life I grieved instantly reappeared in my heart...

Needless to say, I was speechless sitting in my little cube. The nurse went on how they wanted me to get one more HCG draw (which came back great) and wanted me to schedule my first OB appt.

So this past Monday Jason and I got to see Baby E #3's heartbeat flickering away on the ultrasound screen....I'm swinging from absolute delight to absolute terror (being outnumbered freaks me out) to absolute nausea...

Still, so thankful to God how He's growing our family.....Here's to a much less eventful 7 months or so! :)

ps: If you are wondering if I'm P.O'd at my doctor's office, I'm not. It was a ridiculous mistake, but an honest one. No one was hurt and if anything, it has led me to trust God in ways I never gave thought to before....He is the giver of life - not medicine, HCG levels, or even us. Worry, doubt and fear should have no control over me....and I'm using this little blessing as my little reminder. :)

Joshua has taught me....

2010-08-29T16:50:00.000-07:00

> that I can play golf while using the restroom if asked so many times

> that bears, lions and dinosaurs pretty much make the same sound

> that peeing like a fountain in the bath tub is way cool

> that boys really do sleep with their baseball, football, basketball and toy gun

> that if I'm seen with a fly swatter, his golf club becomes a fly swatter and furniture/people become his flies

> that sleeping in is over-rated

> that Buzz is more fun than Woody

> that dogs are not easily forgotten...and will be prayed for despite being 6 ft under

>that ketchup should count as a fruit serving

> that the world stops for "diggers" (aka excavators)

> that male fascination with "boobies" begins at a very early age

> that watching Barney is worth it when he gives me "a great big hug and a kiss from me to you"

...and I'm sure this is just a start for many more lessons to come....

The Big "K"

2010-08-23T17:28:00.000-07:00

Just over five years ago, my sweet Julia burst onto the scene of our lives. She was born screaming - and pretty much hasn't stop making her presence known since. She is all girl - sweet and sassy, strong-willed and sensitive, cautious and fearless, glitter and glitz. She loves nature walks and Barbie dolls, having her hair "done" and watching silly movies with her dad. She sucks her thumb when she's tired, nervous, bored and/or watching TV.

She lives to play with her best friend Lexie. She prefers "high" heels to flip flops and a dress is not a dress unless it "spins." She hasn't left the house without wearing pink in some form since I can remember.

Her hugs and kisses are the sweetest because she just doesn't hand them out to everyone and she is a perfect snuggler...She is one of those girls with beautiful curly ringlet hair who wishes it was straight. Her eyes are ocean blue and sparkle each time she gets her way. They storm when she doesn't. Her temper has yet to be tamed, but I am hopeful still.

Her love for her brother is as deep as her capacity to aggravate him. He adores her anyway.

She is everything and more to me...and is starting Kindergarten today...

Where these past 5 years went, I will never know...I just hope the next 5 are as wonderful and exciting....

Two Years of Joshy Sweetness

2010-06-28T07:10:00.000-07:00

Two years ago today, I was so tired and so huge that Jason had me spend the morning on the couch while he and Julia tidied up the house. My ankles were non-existent, my wedding ring sat in my jewelry box as a fake one 3 sizes bigger squeezed my swollen finger.

After lying around all morning, we decided to make a Babies 'R Us run. Our crib had just been recalled and we were having a hard time finding one we liked. While there, I was checking out a rocker and a lady looked at me and said..."Girl you look ready. My daughter thinks she ready, but she doesn't look ready like you look ready." I laughed and told her I was sooo ready, but had to wait until Friday July 4 to be induced....

After the store, we stopped by Jason's parents to go for a swim. It was sweltering hot and a dip in the pool was just what this momma needed. Julia and Jason hopped right in, but I got caught up in talking to Barb, my MIL about the baby coming and their plans to remodel their kitchen...

Before I could get in the pool, a HUGE storm hit. Rain, wind, thunder, lightening, hail - this storm had it all. So we just had fun inside chatting as we waited for the storm to pass...

When the skies cleared, we got our things ready to go. I had just said good-bye to Jim my FIL, when I turned toward the door and felt a pop...followed by the gush of water like peeing your pants w.out peeing your pants.

It was 4pm. Everyone was in the foyer at that point and for a second I remember thinking "I'll just tell them later" - but not being about to hide my freaked-outedness, I walked to the door and said, "Um, I think my water just broke." My MIL quickly escorted my out of the house (who can blame her?!?) and asked, "Are you sure it wasn't from the pool?" - I didn't go in the pool. "Are you sure you didn't...um...wet yourself?" - At 28 yrs old, I knew the difference :) - Joshua Robert was on his way!

We called the dr office to let them know. Dr. Mary Ellen Leary was on call...All my OakCreek OBGYN girls know this lady is not known for her bedside manner. She delivered Julia so I knew first hand the chill she brings in the room. If we have a 3rd baby, I'm asking for Dr. Little and Dr. Patels home phones! jk.

She told me to go straight to the hospital. I said "OK" and headed straight for home! I had to have my bag and labor music...Contractions were light and far apart so I was confident we had a little time.

So we went from Springboro to Lebanon (where Jo and Matt picked Julia up at our house) and then on to the hospital. The storm had knocked trees over on St Rt 48 so we were going at 35 mph when contractions started getting stronger. It felt like a sit com for a while as I thought about the possibility of having him in the car...Thankfully, once we got into Centerville, Jason hit the gas and it was smooth sailing.

We got checked in to the hospital around 5:30pm. I was 4-5 cm, 80% effaced and convinced that it was going to be a loooong night. Around 6:30pm I was "allowed" to walk around (note to self with/if next baby: I will walk around when I feel like walking around), my contractions were coming closer and closer. I kept imagining each one like I was climbing up a hill and then running down a hill. It hurt, but with breathing and moving, it was bearable.

Our nurses switched at 7pm and I totally remember being under control thanking her as she said good-bye. The new nurse wanted to check me around 7:20pm so I got back in the bed and was about 8cm...That's when the HOLY $*#*% contractions started. I could not get up. I could not catch my breath. I could not think. One after another after another. I asked for an epidural. The schmuck anesthesiologist kept telling me to sit up..."you have to sit up...come on, it's time to sit up", but I just couldn't. I remember thinking, "I wished he got paid by the epi, cuz I am not getting one from him!" As soon as I had a 10 sec break from contractions, I sat up and at that moment I HAD.TO.PUSH! As I told the nurse, 5 nurses rushed in the room. One of them kicked the schmuck out (thank God) and the others got ready for this baby to be born.

I was 10cm and w.out any drugs, so let me tell you, I was ready to go...except the Dr. wasn't there yet...and the nurses told me I couldn't push (note to self with/if 3rd baby: tell the nurses to get their gloves on cuz I.AM.PUSHING!). I did some sort of feather breathing for 20 minutes of pure hellish pain when Dr. Leary flew in. I pushed once or twice and Joshua was born at 8:08pm weighing 8lbs 5oz and 21" long. He came out crying as they laid him on my chest. It was amazing and perfect...Jason was there holding my hand. My mom was somewhere behind me bc that was my rule :). It will forever be one of the most glorious moments of my life.

He truly is the sweetest boy to ever walk the earth...Being his and Julia's mommy is the most treasured title I could ever have...

So...Happy 2nd Birthday, Sweet Joshua Boy! I love you!

Vanilla Sweetness

2010-04-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

So I'm trying desperately to make the house look like I've done something productive since Jason last saw it this morning...

The kids and I spent the entire afternoon playing outside while breakfast, lunch and snack dishes were piled up in the sink and the dishwasher was full of clean dishes I hadn't emptied. On the other side of the kitchen sits our waste basket filled to the brim. I have squished down 10 times or more in hopes it can fit one more juice box. Julia's PJ's are in the middle of the great room floor next to 3 towels used to dry 3 kids off from the sprinkler escapade earlier...There is more, but you get the point, right?

As I was scurrying around the house tossing everything here and there to give the fake impression that I am the stellar house wife I should be, Joshua started having a melt down. He saw a box of Vanilla Wafers and HAD.TO.HAVE.IT. I was in a hurry and tossed him one, which he tossed on the floor and reached for the box. Annoyed at his disregard for my "kindness" but more intent on him being quiet and let me clean, I handed him the box as he was standing on the chair next to me at the kitchen sink.

He pulled a cookie out. "Mau-mee," he said with the sweetest little boy smile. His squishy hand was outstretched holding the cookie out for me to take as a gift...I took it and then he went on his merry little way...like he just wanted to do something nice for me :)

Oh, how I love him!

How (not) to Pick a Pre-School

2010-02-16T11:32:00.001-08:00

December of 2006, Jason and I happily/nervously/prayerfully signed papers to build a house in Lebanon, Ohio. It seemed like all the cards fell into place...We were 5 minutes from my parents and 10 minutes from Ridgeville Christian - the private Christian school I attended kindergarten through 12th grade. While I can't say I always LOVED the school, but looking back, I know those wonderful people helped shape me into the person I am (and I like myself :) so we decided that would be a great place for Julia and any more babies we would have.

May of 2007, the school announced is was closing. After 40+ years, they close 5 months after we signed our life away to build this house...nice...leaving a HUGE gap in the 16 yr plan I had for my child(ren).

So when the time came, we went with our very distant 2nd choice. Putting our smiley faces on over-drive, we were certain Julia would hit the floors of mini-acedemia running - and then I met her teacher...She was pleasant, I suppose, but when I saw her, there were no warm fuzzies...I kept telling Jason "She's just not a pre-school teacher" - and he had no idea what I meant until 4 months into the school year, she quit to be an office manager at a dental office. Here's to mommy-intuition! Julia's new teacher was amazing. She hugged the children and just seemed happy to be there...She was a pre-school teacher...but retired after the year was over...

So we started a new year this past fall. Another nice, but no warm fuzzy teacher. She didn't say "hi" to Julia when she came in. She didn't say "good-bye" let alone hug Julia as she left. The few times she acknowledged me were to inform me Julia wasn't using scissors right or Julia hid under the table when she couldn't be line leader. Now I don't expect a parade every time my child enters a room, but I like/expect manners and want to leave them with a smiling teacher who appears happy that she's there.

The day of the Christmas program, her teacher came up to me and said that she didn't know what to do with Julia who was sitting against the wall quietly while 3 boys stood in the hall hitting each other and 2 other girls were crying for Lord only knows what reason....and the teacher is outing Julia. Later the teacher told me she thought Julia was upset because she wanted a solo and the teacher didn't think Julia could do it. I should have ran out the door with Julia in tow at the moment...My degree is not education. It is not in child psychology, but I know you don't put limits on a 4 yr old like that, right? Even if the song was totally botched, I for one, love children singing for that very reason! They are cute and precocious.

After another similar incident, we decided we were done. I know it's just pre-school, but I just couldn't have my child told she couldn't do something, when we tell her the world is hers. If that's their philosophy, we fold. We are out.

We are starting a new school on Monday. Her teacher, coincidentally, went to Ridgeville. Julia met her on Friday. I am happy to report Miss Angela was smiling, welcoming and just a complete 180 from we had experienced at the other school. I gave her a little back ground of our reason for moving and my heart jumped when her mouth dropped as I recounted the teacher's dismissal of Julia's potential. Vindication!

I know this is another ramble of a blog, but I just thought I get the story out there and say...Moms, go with your intuition!

Redemption for My Last Post

2010-02-08T07:29:00.001-08:00

I'm pretty sure Julia and Joshua got the point of last Friday morning's madness blog...They shaped up (or maybe I did) and we had a delightful afternoon reading books, making chocolate hearts and snuggling on the couch...I pray/hope/beg for that to be a sign of my life to come!

Maybe God sensed my distress, too, and gave our little family a wonderful weekend :) Saturday was a super-fun snow day. Jason, Julia and the next door neighbors shoveled, played and went sledding in the afternoon while Joshua and I spent some non-cry-cry pants time together.

Yesterday after church, Julia and I hit the streets of Lebanon...Oh how I love my little city - and I love that Julia loves it, too! We went through some antique and consignment shops before stopping in at the Golden Lamb for dessert. Something about that place turns my busy-little-go-getting-non-stop princess into the perfect little young lady. She sits down, puts her napkin on her lap, and uses manners w/out being reminded. She had the whole place charmed and I was so proud :)
We had a toasted pecan ball and the explored the 3 floors of hotel rooms that she loves so much. Then hit the library for some new books....

We got home and everyone suited up for more fun in the snow. Joshua LOVED the sled riding! It was a great way to end/begin the week! (((Smiles)))

SAHM 911

2010-02-05T09:05:00.001-08:00

So I stayed at home today...for the first time without Jason since October...and I'm freaking out a little...let me tell you why...

October to February, I work full time for a national tax prep. franchisor as a Media Buyer. I put marketing plans together for 22 markets based on our target demo, then negotiate contracts with TV and Radio stations getting the most umph! for our dollars. Once the spots start to air, I track the ROI repsonse making sure the stations perform at an acceptable level based on phone calls generated by each station. I know you wanted to know all that!

So the end of February is quickly approaching and by 9am today, I realized the harsh reality that I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO BE A STAY AT HOME MOM!

Joshua is teething and is uber-sensitive to every move I make. I told him I had to go potty and he threw himself into hysterics banging his head on the floor. The only times he actually was not clinging to my feet were when I was holding him (which I love, but can't do it all day) or when Clifford was on (and I'm not the "let the TV baby-sit my baby all day" type tempting as it may be).

Julia just runs the house with the occasional walk-by assault on her brother's head while I'm trying to get some house work done and keep up on work issues that need my attention.

So these past few hours have me in a virtual panic thinking of the next 7 months. This will be my life everyday. Even writing it makes my chest tighten.

Please know that I LOVE MY CHILDREN with my whole heart and most of me cannot wait to be the mom I want to be - the kind that stays home teaching them new things, taking them new (free) places and taking care of them as I know time goes all too fast.

Ok. I'm breathing easier now...

So here is my ramble of a blog post...