My kids are strange

Happy

2012-03-12T15:26:00.000-07:00

This afternoon Darcy had a new friend from school over to play. Not five minutes after the girl walked in I overheard Darcy say to her "This is my dog Chewbacca. Do you want to know something funny about him? When he gets really happy, all the hair on his wiener goes away and it gets really big and pink!"

I wonder if that friend will ever be allowed over again?

Golden Arches

2012-03-05T10:04:00.000-08:00

He looks like an angel...right?

The other day I loaded the kids into the car to meet my mom and a friend for lunch at McDonalds. Lunch at McDonalds is always a mixed bag. On one hand, everything on the menu sort of makes me want to puke other than French Fries and Coke. On the other hand, it means I am going to get to mostly ignore my children for an hour while they climb around like happy monkeys and I enjoy adult conversation.

Anyway, the kids were playing, I was enjoying the company when some kids up in the play place started making some ominous whining noises that went on for several minutes. We were all starting to wonder if the parents of the squawkers were going to come to the rescue when my mom could not focus on our conversation any longer.

"Are those your kids making that bad noise up there?" she asked me. "No." I knew they weren't my kids making that noise. First of all, every mom knows the noise that their kids make when they are unhappy. We hear it all day long. We go to great lengths to avoid it. Even as far as trying to pass off french fries and coke as "lunch."

"Are you really sure? Because it doesn't sound very good and it isn't stopping."
"No its not them. If it was Kade who was having problems, he would just come down and tell me and if it was Kyanna she wouldn't be crying she would be yelling 'That's it! You're not my friend anymore!' " (We have a lot of trouble with this particular thing from her. On the plus side, she must have fabulous self esteem to believe that the worst thing she can do to anybody is withdraw her friendship)

"Well, just go double check so I can feel better about it. That sounds like more than one kid crying"

So very reluctantly I walked a few feet from my position at the side of the play place over to the front where I could have a better vantage point to look for my children. And of course I was right...it wasn't my kids making all the noise. They both had giant grins on their faces. Because they were standing in the middle of the "shaky bridge" and Kade (my husky kid) was jumping up and down like an elephant. The awful noise was coming from all the kids on either side of the bridge who wanted to cross but were afraid of the trolls in the middle causing the earthquake.

Awesome.

Code P

2012-02-15T20:52:00.000-08:00

As I was tucking the kids in to bed tonight, Dax told me I needed to step out of the room for a minute. Apparently his privates were not feeling so good and he needed to take a look and make sure he hadn't injured his nether regions. When I came back in a minute later and asked if everything checked out ok he said "Yeah I think so. But if it still hurts really bad when I'm at school tomorrow I'm calling you to come and get me." "Ok..." I said "So are you just going to stand there in the office and say 'Mom, come and pick me up. My weiner hurts!" He laughed for a minute and then said "No Way! We better come up with something. I know! I will just say 'Code P!'" "Code P?" I asked. "Yeah you know...for penis."

All I can say is its a good thing Asiel is working from home tomorrow. I think I will send him to the school to explain to the office ladies what Code P means. :)

My fifteen minutes of bliss

2012-02-06T08:27:00.000-08:00

My blog has been highly neglected over the past few weeks. We have been home from Florida for almost a month and have had at least one sick family member ever since. We spent a week with the stomach flu (that was not fun...and resulted in a lot of laundry...which resulted in an old dryer that finally gave up the ghost...which resulted in a sweet new dryer off ksl...score!). We spent a couple weeks with strep. We spent lots of days in between with snotty noses and a bad case of the "coughing problem," as Kade calls it. So I haven't written anything down. However, I had a little experience on Saturday that I would like to remember, but probably won't remember beyond next week if I don't blog about it.

One of my guilty pleasures in life is a nice long soak in a hot bubble bath. I know, I know...its sitting in your own filth, blah blah blah. I don't know what kinds of nasty habits you people have in your spare time, but I am not a filthy person! I shower daily, I wash my hands a million times a day, I wear deodorant, I floss.

Anyway, the problem is that I haven't been able to take a bath by myself for approximately 8 years now. Our master bathroom does not have a door to separate it from our master bedroom. When we built our home it was quite a bit more money to add the door (weird I know...they also wanted 1000 dollars to tile next to our tub, so it stayed carpet) and since we have a two way fireplace from our bedroom to bathroom we figured if someone in the bedroom wanted to check out the naked person in the bath all they would have to do is look through the fireplace, so why pay for the door? That's sensible right?

So to keep the kids out when I am taking a bath I would have to lock the door to my master bedroom. This does not happen. The funny thing about kids, and those of you who have them will agree, is that they can be quite dramatic. I often cannot tell the difference between a scream that means "He changed the channel on the tv from barbie to astro boy and I am not down with that!" or one that means "Somebody has just cut off an appendage and is bleeding profusely on the carpet!" Same decibel. So like any responsible parent, I leave the door open. And usually 2.3 seconds after settling in to my bath a kid comes in to tattle, is sidetracked by the awesomeness of bubbles and steam, and promptly helps themselves to my tub. And while I am confident in the absence of my filth, I am equally suspicious of the presence of theirs. So my bath is over before it is begun. I have tried unsuccessfully for years to break this habit of theirs, but it seems to be impossible. They are hardwired to cause me angst. They can not not disturb the peace.

But back to Saturday...after several sleepless nights due to the aforementioned "coughing problem" I decided I needed a bath. The kids had just returned from a birthday party and were happily devouring the goodies from their bag so I saw that as my best opportunity. Just minutes after I had gotten in Kyanna came wandering into my room with a handful of plastic dinosaurs she had received at the party. She set them down two feet away from me on the step stool she uses to wash her hands and began to play. "She doesn't realize I am here!!!" I thought, and I focused on not breathing for as long as possible.

This is the conversation her dinosaurs started having with each other:

Purple Dino: "Mom and Dad, I'm really thirsty can I have some of your drink?"
Yellow, and Orange Dinos: "Sorry baby, this is a grown up drink." (at our house "grown up drink" refers to anything with caffeine...heaven forbid they stay up any later at night than necessary!)
Purple: "But Mom, I really really want some!"
Y and O: "We said No. You will have to have some water."
Purple: "Please Please, Pretty Please!"
Y and O: "NO! Now don't ask again or you will go in time out! Do you like time out?"
Purple: "Can I have your drink Mom, can I have your drink Mom, can I have your drink Mom, can I have your drink Mom?" (this is a technique my kids have mastered because it often results in two scenarios... A. Mom gives in or B. Mom ends up in the corner banging her head against the wall, giving the pest ample time to help themselves to whatever they wanted)
Y and O: "YOU ARE NOT LISTENING! We said NO! You will have to drink water to make your body healthy!"
Purple: "Then why are you drinking it?!"

This silly conversation my three year old was having with herself gave me plenty of entertainment for a good ten to fifteen minutes. At that point, I made the giant mistake of coughing. She immediately turned to me with a pleasantly surprised look on her face and yelled "WHAT THE HECK?!!!! I'M GETTING IN THERE!"

Which turned out to be a good time for me to exit because within 30 minutes I was headed to instacare to confirm Kade's turn with strep throat. But for those fifteen minutes, I was queen!

Teacher Tuesday

2012-01-17T14:55:00.000-08:00

We've missed several "Teacher Tuesdays" since we took a family vacation to Disneyworld. It was fun to say the least - full of flamboyant middle aged men in Mickey Gear, Single 35 year old women kissing Pooh Bear, (You think I'm kidding about this but I'm not.) and countless screaming children. At any time, you could probably spot at least 10 meltdowns occurring. Isn't Disney supposed to be the "happiest place on earth"? Good thing we had a blast anyways!!! It was a fabulous vacation, one that I probably won't get to repeat anytime soon - so thanks mom and dad!

While teaching 1st grade, I had tons of students that would go on trips to Disneyland. I even had one student that had been 17 times in her short 7 years! I got to hear about many Disneyland trips, and read about many in student journals.

One day, I was preparing grades for conferences and wanted to look at writing samples from the students. I pulled out all their journals and began reading. To any other person, their writing would be completely illegible, but a first grade teacher becomes expert at reading and making sense of complete gibberish. As little ones are learning to write, they record their words in the same manner that they say them. Everything is sounded out with no attention to spelling rules. Love becomes "luv", because becomes "becuz", sing becomes "seg". You get the idea, right? (I even once had a we become "wii" - I think that student was counting video game playing as reading time...)

Spelling becomes even more difficult to students with speech impediments. Just like everyone else, they record their words exactly as they hear themselves say it. This became very apparent to me as I was reading through student journals. I came to one that said, "We went to Disneyland. It was wile wile fun." I stared at that page forever trying to figure out if the student meant "while" or "Willy" until it hit me. This particular student always substituted the /r/ sound for the /w/ sound - a very common mistake. Apparently, he had really really fun at Disneyland! I thought it was so cute, I copied the page and sent it home to his mom.

So - just like little Billy, I had "wile wile" fun at Disneyworld and can't wait to go back someday!!!

2012-01-10T08:05:00.000-08:00

My mom bought Dax a light up sword at Epcot. After telling him several times to stop swinging it into the crowds, he finally told us "I'm not going to hit anyone. I have years of experience with light sabers."

Disney World was amazing!!! Will post details as soon as I make it through piles of laundry!

The happiest place on Earth!

2011-12-30T21:12:00.000-08:00

We are preparing for an upcoming trip to Disney World, and besides the fun that I'm sure we are going to have while we are there, I am already enjoying the conversations the kids are having in anticipation. Wherever we go they cannot stop spewing at people (they have a SEVERE case of diarrhea of the mouth) about which characters they will see, what they are going to ride, and from my four year old how "the BEST part is that we get to eat as much as we want at the fanciest restaurants we ever went to!" (a boy after my own heart!) Here is a conversation we had at dinner tonight...

Dax: "How did Walt Disney get enough money to build Disney World?"
Dad: "He made lots of money from some movies he made, and also had investors."
Mom: "Yeah, he made movies about Mickey Mouse."
Kade: "Well that's funny huh, because now Mickey works at Disney World!"
Darcy: "Duh Kade, you know that Mickey Mouse isn't REAL right? He is just a person in a costume."
Mom: "That's perfect! I guess that means that we won't have to spend any of our precious vacation time waiting in line to get autographs then, right Darce?"

I don't remember her exact response to that, but I'm pretty sure it amounted to "Nice try, Mom." Guess I better start gearing up to stand in some lines!!!

On Aging...

2011-12-28T09:58:00.000-08:00

This morning I started a bath for Kyanna in my room and my boys decided they should hop in too. With three kids in the tub, things were getting crowded and the kids started to argue. I was standing next to the sink putting on some makeup and I overheard their conversation...

Kade (4) says to Dax (6): "I can't punch you now because Mom is watching but when I'm older than you I am going to beat you up!"

Dax: "You are never going to be older than me."

Kade: "Yah huh. When I'm a dad."

Dax: "Nope, sorry. By the time you're a dad I'm going to be a grandpa!"

Kyanna: "Well, I'm going to be a Mom and they are really the boss, so I am going to beat you both up!"

I'm glad at least one of them knows who the real boss is around here. :)

Last Teacher Tuesday of 2011

2011-12-27T15:31:00.000-08:00

With the end of the year quickly approaching, I'm sure we are all thinking of resolutions and how to make 2012 better than 2011. For teachers, this happens at the end of a school year. We dream of more well-behaved children, more productive time in class, bulletin boards, writing ideas, better math curriculum, and many oh-so-wonderful projects to get planned for the next school year. Very often, those hopes and dreams end up just like our New Year's Resolutions...forgotten and given up on once reality hits us back down to earth. Students are trying to fit in all the naughtiness that they can because they know there is nothing that their current teacher can do about it since they will soon be moving on to a new boss at school very soon.

This particular scenario was happening on my last day of school the first year I was a teacher. I was feeling happy that I had survived my first year, only losing half my hair instead of all of it! I was feeling a bit sad to let my first year kiddos go - they were mine and to think of giving them to another teacher was a bit heartbreaking. (yes - teachers DO love your children - even the stinkers!) All the desks in my classroom were pushed to the sides, all the art was off the walls, children were armed with their backpacks and lunch boxes, and we were all impatiently waiting for the bell of summer to ring. One little boy, who had a lot of energy and didn't know how to contain it, was rambunciously crawling under all the desks that were pushed against the wall. He knew he shouldn't be doing this - not only had I told the students 10 times that day not to do it, but I'd told them at least a hundred times during the school year that we don't crawl around under desks. Finally, I said, "Billy, you need to get out from under the desks. You know this is against the rules. (At this point I'm trying to think of some type of consequence, but having difficulty as there is only 1.863 minutes left of the school year.) So I continue, "You are not making a good choice. I hope that next time you can make a better choice." (lightweight - I know) A few seconds later I hear him mutter to himself. "Wait - There's not going to be a next time!" And proceeds to continue crawling under desks. Lovely. Good thing I was saved by the bell because once it rang little Billy was outta there and moving onto bigger and better things.

So - to all of you who are ready for 2012...live up 2011 as much as possible because time is dwindling! Eat what you want, don't exercise, be lazy, watch a lot of trashy TV, don't clean your house, spend as much money as you feel like, and crawl under those desks like a crazy person because very shortly our goals are going to get in the way of our fun again.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Best White Elephant Gift Ever!

2011-12-27T09:38:00.000-08:00

The DI Nativity

Bubbles

2011-12-22T09:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep so I decided to treat myself to a nice hot bubble bath. I wasn't in there long before both Kyanna and Kade woke up and discovered me, and of course immediately wanted to join me in the tub. Trying to discourage them from interrupting my peace I said "I won't be in here too much longer...the bubbles are almost gone." "That's ok," Kyanna said. "Our bum bums can make you lots more bubbles!"

Teacher Tuesday...Christmas Gift Ideas

2011-12-20T12:12:00.000-08:00

During the holidays, it seemed that the closer to Christmas it got, the more full my desk would get with
gifts from students. I always felt spoiled and appreciated, and it seemed as if the students really took
pride in giving their teacher a gift.

In my 2.5 years of teaching I was more than spoiled. I’m not sure if the parents of my students could
tell how stressed out I was, or if I had just tricked them into thinking I was the most amazing teacher
around, because they loved to give me exuberant gifts and let’s be real – I wasn’t complaining! Because
of this, I got a Christmas gift from almost everyone in the class. I remember my first year the kids
being so excited to bring their present to me, and getting even more excited when I opened it up.
Unfortunately, this made the few kids who didn’t get me a gift feel insecure and a little embarrassed.
This one little boy in my class would come up to me each morning as other children were giving me gifts
and offer me a trinket , eraser, pencil, or other toy that he had brought to school months ago, which
I had probably taken away at some point and given back to him on the premise that I never wanted
to see it again, to which he decided to just hide it in the dark depths of his tote tray. Each morning it
would be a new “gift” from him, and by the end of the day each day he had asked for it back. “Oh, well
I REALLY like that pencil. It is nice and shiny, um….” Or “Well, I actually really want that eraser. I think
my mom bought it for me instead of you.” Or “I have something else for you at home, can I have my
unidentifiable playdough person that I made in kindergarten back?” Ok – so maybe that last one was
a stretch, but really – he always asked for the things back, and I don’t blame the kid! As much as he
wanted to give me a gift, he wanted to keep his own “junk” even more. Bless his heart!!!

Now the dilemma – Christmas break is only a few days away, and to avoid the previously mentioned
situation, but you are wondering what to give to your student’s teacher or if you need to even bother,
here’s a few words of wisdom. Okay – many words of wisdom.

Yes – you should get your child’s teacher a Christmas gift. I’m not saying this because I am a present
whore – although feel free to bring me one if you want. I’m saying this because your child’s teacher
takes care of them for most of your child’s waking hours. They help your child learn. They show
patience to your child long after you, their own parent, would have lost it on them. They wipe tears
when your student cries, helps them be brave, and teaches them how to be independent and function
without YOU by their side. They teach your child social skills, how to be a friend, and how to work with
others. They get paid next to nothing, spend their own money so your child can have a fun experience
at school or make a fun project, and work 10 hour days every day of the week, and that doesn’t include
the work they take home, the sleepless nights they spend worrying about your student, and the
weekends they use to prepare for the upcoming week of teaching. Next to you, there probably isn’t
a more influential adult that they interact with on a daily basis than their teacher. Yes – I know these
things are part of a teacher’s job and what they get paid for, BUT, teachers barely get paid enough to
provide their own families a very modest Christmas, and a little appreciation from you goes a very long
way. Trust me.

(Soapbox over…sorry)

So – what to get your child’s teacher? It doesn’t have to be big or extravagant. Here are some
suggestions based on price range.

FREE – Give your child’s teacher your family’s holiday card. I LOVED getting these. Write a personal
note to the teacher and tell them they are appreciated. Tell them why you like them – and be specific.
Have your child participate in this and draw a picture and write something too. I really loved getting
this type of thing. Teaching is a thankless job sometimes and it feels good to know that you are
appreciated!!!

$1 – whatever you are giving to your neighbors – add your teacher to that list too! Homemade goodies
are great, and what’s one more plate? I used to always snack on these the during the day the week
before Christmas. YUMMY!

$5 – a FAVORITE of mine is a caramel apple. I love that it is a spin on the traditional apple for teacher. I
had a parent bring me one of these when they came to parent conferences my first year of teaching. To
this day, I still appreciate that gesture SO MUCH. It’s a great gift for teacher anytime of the year.

$10 – A few times I’ve had parents bring me lunch. What a way to make your child’s teacher feel
special! Make sure you schedule it before hand and know what time lunch is so that the teacher can
enjoy it. I always appreciated the thoughtfulness of this and especially for the time spent picking up the
lunch and bringing it to school.

$15 and up – If you want to do something big for your child’s teacher a gift card is a great way to go.
Movie theaters, restaurants, and Target are good ones. I’ve been given many gift cards and have always
loved it! Just the other day I used a gift card a parent gave me last year for the movies, and I was so
grateful and thinking of that student and parent the whole time. (THANKS JEN!!!)

Here’s a few other ideas…Soap, lotion, candles --Teachers get A LOT of these things. We like these
things, but just know that every other kid in the class will give this to teacher too – so if you are looking
for something original, don’t go with this one.

Something handmade by you or your student. --It’s ok if it is made by a first grader – teacher will still
appreciate it!

Candy or soda -- don’t be afraid to ask teacher what he/she likes!

Under NO circumstance should you ever give your child’s teacher something that says 2 teach is 2 touch
lives 4 ever. We don’t like those things or anything that says “world’s best teacher” or anything else like
that. We know you mean well, and don’t feel bad if you have past offenses in this area. Now is always
a good time to change…you can do it! And while we’re on the subject – school supplies aren’t really a
good teacher gift either. They are appreciated – I promise. BUT, it’s like giving your mom windex or
your dad disposable razors for Christmas. Will they get used? Yes, but is it a good “gift”? Not so much.
School supplies should be donated at various times during the school year – but not Christmas. Sorry.

All that being said – do not feel pressure to do anything extravagant. Put in some thought and call it

good. And don’t think that the bigger the present you give your child’s teacher the more they will like
your child. Sometimes not even a great gift can make a teacher like your kid. JUST KIDDING!!! Think
simple – stay in a price range you feel comfortable – and whatever gift you choose will go over well with
teacher.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Life's great questions

2011-12-19T08:27:00.000-08:00

What I want to know is...

Who was the genius that decided it would be a good idea to make children's toothpaste come in blue?

Shopping Anonymous

2011-12-16T08:35:00.000-08:00

My mom loves Christmas more than any person I know, and she loves to spoil her grandkids. Thinking about how much they are going to love something she has picked out for them is just more than she can handle...she has no will power to tell herself no! I have been wrapping presents for her all week and bringing them home to put under the tree and I am seriously embarrassed about the number of gifts the kids have waiting for them on Christmas morning. I couldn't even bring myself to take a photo because I'm pretty sure in some spots the presents are stacked taller than the tree. I mean, true its only a five foot tree, but still! I am never going to have to buy my kids anything for the rest of their lives. :) Thanks Mom, you're the best!

Anyway, yesterday Daxton just happened to "mention" to grandma that for Christmas he would really like an ipod or some vinyl stickers for his wall (neither of which are things she has purchased). She asked him why he was telling her, and didn't he see all those presents she had sent home for him? He looked at her and replied, "Oh yeah, I saw them! That's why I'm telling you. Because your name is Grandma and YOU have a shopping problem!"

Teacher Tuesday!!!

2011-12-13T16:57:00.000-08:00

This is my baby sister Kristen with two of my babies at the rodeo (I have no idea who the bearded guy behind her is, or the red shirt guy, or the kid). We were born four years apart almost to the day. I am four years smarter and she is four years better looking. I'm not sure I got the best end of that deal. Kristen used to teach first grade before she had a baby and decided to stay home and teach piano instead. She has tons of funny stories, kid projects and parent tips from her time teaching and she is going to be sharing them with us every Tuesday! I am so excited I can hardly stand it!!! But that could also be because Christmas is coming!!! Hooray!!! How many exclamation points can I use in one post?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is her very first Teacher Tuesday post...

One morning, I was doing a reading test on a student. I pick a story from the testing kit that I feel is on his reading level, have him read it, time him, record errors, and then at the end check comprehension by asking a series of pre-determined questions.

This particular story was about the zoo. Each page had a few sentences about an animal. "This is a giraffe. Baby giraffes can walk on the same day they are born." "This is a penguin. A penguin cannot fly, but it has wings." etc... The student did a great job reading and had hardly any errors. After he finished, I began asking the comprehension questions. This would be a breeze - or so I thought...

Me: "Billy, (name changed) what did you learn about the animals at the zoo?"
Billy: Nothing. I already knew all those things. (typical first grade answer)
Me: "Can you tell me any of them."
Billy: Well I don't really remember now. (how convenient)
Me: "Ok, do you remember anything about the story?"
Billy: Not really. (Did I forget to mention that this particular student sounds EXACTLY like Froggy from The Little Rascals?)

Things are NOT going well. (Just goes to show that your child might be able to read every word in the book but it doesn't count for anything if he/she can't remember a lick of it!)

I try to move onto an easier question - one that will require less factual knowledge.

Me: "Why do you think the author wrote a book about zoo animals?"
Billy: Because he likes going to the zoo (Now we're getting somewhere!)
Me: "Why do you think people like to go to the zoo?" (I'm sure he can make a connection here...)
Billy: Well, you know those long skinny things that are covered in cinnamon and sugar?"
Me: "A churro?"
Billy: Yeah - that's why I go to the zoo.

Me too, Billy. Me too.

Ha Ha Thanks Kris! Boy it is super annoying that the font has got white behind it. Does anyone know how to cut and paste these things without that occurring? I will work on that. I guess I could always just type it all out. I doubt that's going to happen. Did I mention that I am four years lazier?

My first product review!!!

2011-12-12T08:05:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love Christmas shopping and this year did not dissappoint! I always shop Black Friday, because I just can't bear to miss all the crazies. It's like watching a train wreck where nobody actually gets hurt. Unless you count the pepper spray. Fascinating!

Some items however, require more time spent shopping and less time spent waiting in line to pay, so for those items I have to make a trip back to the store. The other day I was in Walmart perusing the aisles for the perfect gift for my almost 3 year old niece. It needed to be a combination of something cute she would love and something with as many annoying noises as possible as payback for all the years I had to put up with my smelly brother (And I found it! Oh Yeah!) While I was there, I found a new brand of doll that you will not want to miss this year!

The problem I have with dolls these days is that they all give girls an unrealistic sense of how they should look and act. Case in point...

This one is actually called a Bratz. Definitely don't need more of that at my house...

This year I found a doll that will make you feel proud about even your most unfortunate children! The brand is called baby boutique. I was sad to discover that my phone had erased several dolls' photos, but you'll get the idea.

Exhibit A. Perfect if your newborn is Chucky or maybe half vampire

Not sure if these are freckles or measles. But either way...awesome!

If you are Gollums parent...check this out! And it's on sale!!!

This baby sleeps with its eyes cracked open. I don't blame her...her shelf buddies were Renesmee and Smeagol. What talent!

All I can say is thank you Baby Boutique! I applaud your efforts!!!

Spiritual Giants

2011-12-11T13:20:00.000-08:00

Despite their irreverence, we continue to take our children to church every week. Our religion is an important part of our lives and we want our kids to have the peace, hope, and happiness that the gospel brings. I always ask them what they learned in their church classes, and unfortunately in the past few years they have wisened up and usually just answer "about Jesus." This was a post I published on our family blog a few years ago when they weren't such smart alecs. :)

Darcy: "Mom, if everybody can only take one sacrament bread, what do they do with all the leftovers? Does somebody eat it or do they feed it to the ducks? Cuz I'm still really hungry..."

Mom: "Dax, what did you learn in Sunbeams today?"
Dax: "About Adam and Eve"
Mom: "Tell me what you learned about Adam and Eve"
Dax: "They are dead."
Mom: "Yeah, What else?"
Dax: "Well, they had circle faces, and they lived on a rock, and Adam growed trees. And they stole food from Heavenly Father that they weren't supposed to eat. I think it was a tomato."

Einstein

2011-12-10T08:41:00.000-08:00

For my birthday my husband is paying his brother Aaron to tile a gorgeous back splash in our kitchen. Aaron just got married last month to a really fun girl named Kristen. I also have a sister named Kristen, so my kids are really psyched that they now have two Auntie Kristens.

The other night after staying late to tile, my brother in law stashed his equipment in my garage before he left to go home. When Dax saw it in the morning, he immediately began searching all the rooms in our house...

Darcy: "Dax, what are you looking for?"
Dax: "Uncle Aaron, all his stuff is in the garage. Where did he sleep? Let's wake him up!"
Darcy: "He went home. He slept in his bed with Auntie Kristen."
Dax: "Oh."

and then a few minutes later..."Which Auntie Kristen?"

Believe it or Not

2011-12-08T07:43:00.000-08:00

Kade first day of preschool Sept 2010 - notice Kyanna's socks. She gets that from her dad.

My son Kade is a lump. Part of it comes from his medical issues and part of it is just his personality. He was diagnosed with Type I Diabetes and Celiac Disease at a very young age and tends to have less energy than his peers. And I'm pretty sure he's just lazy. :) In fact, we laugh because he wouldn't voluntarily climb stairs until he was over three years old. He just sat at the bottom and cried "Come cawwy me! I'm too heaby!"

So this morning, despite the fact that I handed him clothes five seconds after he exited the bathtub, he decided getting dressed was too much effort and chose to wander around the house in the buff. When it came time to drive the big kids to school and he was still completely naked my older kids decided he was going to need some coercion.

Darcy: "Kade you need to get dressed right now so we aren't late for school"

Kade: "Nah, I'll just ride like this."

Darcy: "You can't do that! It is cold cold cold outside and your weiner will freeze solid and fall off!"

Kade: just laughs...still no intention of getting dressed

Darcy: "It's true! That has really happened before and its going to happen to you!"

Dax: "She's right. I read about it in a library book at school once. Ripley's Believe it or Not. It can happen!"

I really hope there weren't any pictures. Bundle up warm!

September Facebook posts

2011-12-07T12:58:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to move several of my older facebook posts over to a more permanent place since I'm pretty sure facebook is not saving the archives for my posterity to be blackmailed with. Here are some from September...

Dax made friends with his classroom aide today at school. He told me "I asked her how old she was and she told me she is 68! I told her "Wow that's old! But don't worry, I know one person even older than you! It's my dad's grandma...but she died."

Two of Daxton's spelling words this week are chunk and hunk. He told me "Well that should be easy to remember! You're a chunk and I'm a hunk!"

Today Kyanna wasn't paying attention to where she was going and ran straight into the wall. She immediately turned to yell at me "MOM! You can't put a wall there! You hurt my head!" How could I have been so stupid?!!

I am such a proud mother...I loaded Kade, Kyanna, and the neighbor girl into the car this morning and then ran back inside to get my purse. When I got back to the car Kade announced "Mom guess what? We have been talking about it and all three of us love to eat our boogers! They are sooo yummy!"

My 8 year old just asked us if she can have a sweet sixteen party when she turns 16. Thinking she meant something like the ones on tv, we told her only if it wasn't too expensive. She said she was considering "either a twilight party, where they watch all the twilight movies, or taking a few friends to Classic skating." Ha ha! Absolutely!

Kyanna just came in to tell me that Kade needed his bum wiped, "but don't worry, I did it for him." Hmmm...maybe I should go check that out

Black and White

2011-12-06T08:35:00.000-08:00

One of the fun things about having kids is observing how two different children raised in the same house with the same parents can be completely different from one another. I was reminded of this this morning as I came down for breakfast and found one of my daughters eating like she is a sumo wrestler and the other one enjoying her cereal from my spoon rest.

Happy Tuesday!!!

Daxton the Brave

2011-12-05T08:23:00.000-08:00

In addition to freezing our tushies off, and getting to stay inside all day long with four maniacal children, I have discovered some other perks about this time of year. Thanks to empty lots on each side of our house, plus the fact that the four above mentioned children frequently forget to close the door, we get to have mice as house guests for the winter! They usually choose to lodge in our cold storage room which is in the basement and is where we store any surplus food items that don't fit in our pantry.

I find it ridiculous that my kids would be perfectly content to sit for hours and pet a hamster, but the mere thought of a possible run in with a mouse gives them nightmares for days (although my oldest also got nightmares from watching the preview of Johnny Depp's Alice in Wonderland, and the first ten minutes of "Passage to Zarahemla"). And I am definitely not going down there myself. I won't even pet the hamster.

So, since Dax is usually the oldest man present when I happen to need something from the food storage room he usually gets to take one for the team and go fetch the item. This morning it was a box of cereal. Thankfully he had a plan. He went armed, made himself look as ferocious as possible, and let out a scream that could be heard down the block.

The mice didn't stand a chance.

PS. Ignore the mismatched pajamas. We have a lot of laundry to do around these parts. Don't hate.

Skid Marks

2011-12-04T15:46:00.000-08:00

My three year old is fiesty. Yesterday we were eating lunch at a restaurant when she announced she needed to use the restroom. It was within our eyesight so I asked Darcy to take her and help her go potty. I started to get an uneasy feeling when I watched Darcy come out of the women's restroom several times without her sister, but I could clearly hear a strange version of Jingle Bells being shouted from the stalls. Finally both girls walked out together but Kyanna had a look on her face like she meant some serious business. She marched up to the table and without any warning pulled her pants and undies down around her ankles, turned around and stuck her bare peachy bum up at my face and yelled "Look Mom! Darcy would not wipe by butt and now I have POOP STAINS!"

It turns out that Darcy has decided that other peoples excrement makes her vomit. I didn't even have to ask if they remembered to wash their hands.

Cheese please

2011-12-01T13:15:00.000-08:00

While driving in the car today, I overheard this conversation between my three and four year old...

Kyanna "Someday I'm going to be a mom when I grow up"
Kade "Yeah, and someday I'm going to be a dad. But being a dad isn't any fun."
Kyanna "I think its fun. Why not?"
Kade "Well, only one part is fun. And that is that when you are working you get to eat ALL the sharp cheese you want and you don't have to share with your kids even when they say pretty pretty please."

Sounds like I need to talk to Asiel about learning to share his food. :)

Need a babysitter?

2011-11-30T08:41:00.000-08:00

I've come to a sad realization this week. My three year old daughter has an unhealthy love for babies...

But some good news! Grandma got smart this year...finally a baby she can't break!

Here's hoping you enjoy this season with your families, and remember the true reason we celebrate Christmas!