My Life and (Mis)Adventures

Moving on

2011-07-21T16:14:00.000+01:00

Hi there

Well, this blog has been quiet for some time. I had some grand plans to kick it up a notch, to post regularly, but for a number of reasons it never happened.

I have now started a new blog, which will allow me to continue posting in depth articles as well as shorter musings and other interesting things. I hope you will continue to follw me. The theme again will be about pusing lifestyles the way we want them to go.

My new site can be found at domtsui.net

Please drop by and I hope you enjoy it. You should be able to comment on posts, ask me questions via the site, or submit posts yourself. If you are on Tumblr yourself, you can choose to follow me.

Thanks everyone. It's been quite a ride.

Concrete Jungle where Dreams are made

2011-03-07T18:05:00.003Z

New York. One month. Jiu Jitsu? I’m gonna learn... Jiu Jitsu?

Flight, taxi, hostel, Tanja and Katherina and Flavio and Phillipe. Alone, jet lagged, settling in, wandering around, getting my bearings. I’m not in Kansas any more. Superbowl, sleepiness, bewilderment. Sleep. Jen, Jiu Jitsu, Vitor and Loro, Gabriel and Tete and too many others to name you all, my jiu jitsu family. Blues, purples, browns and blacks, oh my! Side control, collar choke, tap tap tap.
Sleep train eat sleep. These streets will make you feel brand new. Holy crap it’s cold, Asif. Acai and Beans and Rice. Five dollar footlongs. Ramen. Times Square, Rockefeller, Central Park, Grand Central, tourist and voyeur. English people fucking everywhere. Strikeforce in town, Bigfoot Silva in the house, Здравствуйте FEDOR! Kak delah? Frank Shamrock. JT, Gareth, Sarah and the gang. Harold and Harold go to Whitecastle. Fashion Week, Chelsea, Meatpacking District, Brass Monkeys, Juliet Supper Club and table service, more sodding Londoners. Plunge. NYC skyline at nighttime. Hollywood Diner. Breathe. Sleeeeeep.

And... Week two. The one with Unagi. Sushi, sake, ahhh, salmon skin roll. Subway lines, wtf? Drive by teddy bear. Side control, knee on belly, collar choke, tap tap tap. Tim and Jo and Chris. 5 hour energy shots. Lower East Side, the Village, hipsters, Justin Long in a dive bar, some random cowgirl on the street. Train, eat, sleep. More bloody Brits, beer, jaegerbombs in fricking pint glasses. Harold and Kumar hit the town, which one am I again? Brendan and Mel and Ciaran and Tom and Sebastian and the others who come and go. Rumours, Barcelona Bar, the Bread Factory, Marco and 24/7 pizza. Stood up on the Brooklyn Bridge at sunset. Manhattan bridge, Once Upon a Time in America, stood up in Starbucks.

Week three? All days blend together. Sleep, train, eat, sleep, train, eat, drink, choked out, fade to black. Shaolin shouts, make your grips! Touristy stuff. Natural History museum, dinosaurs! Alexandria, INFP. Pancakes in Veselka. Here’s looking at you kid. Going to Little Italy, I’ll get my little passport. Chinatown adventure. Buddhas, beads, fortune’s a good un, fingers crossed. Synagogues and stalked by fire trucks. Five points. Homer Simpson drinks bubble tea, random engrish everywhere. Five points and the gangs of New York. Sushi and Starbucks, people watching. Triangle tattoos, cavy baby. You can see Hooters from Carnegie Hall and vice versa. Cage Warriors, Hurleys, UFC, good Samaritans, K Town.

Week four? Time is running out. Train eat sleep drink, turns out I do know a bit of jits. Not that much though, tap tap tap. Puppies, the Met, spring is in the air. Washington Square and scavenger hunts, after sunset. Last session at the gym, hostel family breaking up, all good things come to an end. Japas 55, Larry. Long Island Pride, tap tap tap, open weight, no tap. Astoria, Copacabana, Spanish bar, Fontana’s, Feeling Gloomy follows me from North London to NYC. The Back Room, prohibition, beer in brown paper bags. Seriously, every other person I meet is English. Psycho roommate. Famous Cozy Diner. Beaten by a burger. I want to be a guinea pig, so fucking bad. The Big Strawberry. Seriously, I’m going to come over and kick your door down. Puddles you could drown a cow in, umbrellas blown inside out, last drinks with good friends.

Check out, check in. Starbucks, sunset, the square, moonlight and bagpipes in the shadow of the arch. We'll always have Paris. Buy t shirts, crap they only have small ones, photos with the gang, Shaolin speechifies, 'Dom, this your home now'. Mad dash to the airport, crazy Nepalese cab driver. Sitting on the runway, last minute texts. I'm going to miss y'all. Every ending is a beginning. JFK. NY-LON.

Since I made it here I can make it anywhere. Sayonara NYC, I’ll be back.

This is the end...

2010-12-31T00:27:00.001Z

Happy Christmas everybody, and a Messy New Year!

So the year is rolling to a close. Almost everyone seems to have switched off for Christmas, taking it easy until the New Year rolls around before attempting once again to take things by the scruff of the neck. But, hey, why wait? Life’s about momentum. Finish 2010 in style, and starting 2011 with a bang will be that much easier.

My friend R___ mentioned that instead of waiting for January to make a big push, when everyone is in the gym, he always makes an effort to get his work done in December, when everyone else is winding down. That way, when the New Year arrives, he is already in shape and ready to start the year running.

Another thing. New Year’s resolutions: I have a real love/hate relationship with them. Last year I’d failed most of them within a month. However, when I thought about what I’d achieved at the end of the year, I realised that actually, I’d actually surpassed the goals I’d first set. A year is a long time: the things I accomplished at the start of the year seem such a long time ago, I’d almost forgotten I’d done them.

Before the year is out, try sitting down and totting up all the good things that you’ve pulled off this year. I’m not fussed about the bad stuff: focus on the good things, or the things you learned from the bad stuff if you really have to look at it that way. Make yourself feel really good about your year: remember the good stuff, see what you learned from the bad.

For me, 2010 was an awesome year, probably my best so far on many fronts. And yet it hasn’t necessarily been all plain sailing. I dislocated my shoulder again, which along with another injury led to me pulling out of three or four fights. The only fight I had, I had a man lying on top of me and dry humping me for the best part of ten minutes. My writing is still a balance between doing what I love and what I need to do to make a living.

But at the same time: first semi-pro MMA fight. Sure I dislocated my shoulder, but I rehabbed it to near 100% quickly and begun training in 3 months, and somehow my ground game has got better during my enforced break. Last time it took me about 9 before I had the guts to step back into class. It helped me put things in perspective, to see my own character and really appreciate what this sportvmeans to me. It also gave me the chance to really pick my path: was I going to be the guy who got crippled then spent the weekend sulking, or was I going to be the guy who dislocated his shoulder then headed off to Edinburgh on a stag do 4 hours after getting back from the hospital, still pumped full of morphine? Yup, I did the latter.

I wrote a novel (a shit one) in a month. I started writing for a living. I have my first book planned and waiting for me to knuckle down and write it, and look for a deal. I started this blog and began to really share my thoughts with people, and got a great response. My relationship with my family is better than ever, and I was so happy to see my sister get married to a great guy. I met some great people, including some great women, and I feel like I’m now almost completely happy with who I am and where I'm going. I'm not there yet, but I know I'm on my way.

2010 was great for me. Which means I’m heading into 2011 with something better than a clean slate. I’m going into 2011 with positive momentum. I’ve nicked a head start: catch me if you can!

What Would I Do?

2010-12-01T14:55:00.001Z

"I am so smart! S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T!"

It's December! Whooo! Bleh. Bear with me folks, I'm a little sick of writing right now, having churned out just over 50,000 words in the last month for NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. So here's another article I wrote a year ago. Normal service will resume shortly.

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What Would I Do?

"Stupid like a fox!"

I’ve read far more self-help material than I’ll ever need and attended countless seminars, all in the aim of gathering every little scrap of knowledge out there. I recently realised that I knew more tricks, tips and techniques than I’d ever need to know and was becoming paralysed by too much information. Obviously my response to this revelation was to go and read more to discover how I could get past this hurdle. Since then, I’ve read even more, experimented with different techniques, consulted with different coaches, mentors and therapists, and also worked with several students to improve their confidence in social situations.

And after it all I began to see that I could distill pretty much every useful piece of knowledge that I’d learnt into one simple question that I could ask myself whenever I didn’t know what to do. Not one question for when I’m unsure how I should act, another one when I’m searching for the right thing to say, or if I want to decide which difficult choice I should take. I could ask one question whatever the situation. It’s a question that has led to me rediscovering how to really motivate myself, and to me connecting on a deeper level with friends, family, and people I meet; and to my growth as a person. It’s always the right question to ask myself, and I always seem to know the right answer, no matter what the situation.

So what is this magical question? Simple:

“WHAT WOULD I DO?”

"Save me Jebus!"

And the best thing about this question is that it works just as well for you as it does for me. The phrase ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ has been used by Christians for over a century, installing the figure of Christ as a moral beacon when faced with dilemmas. Whether you hold religious views or not, the same principle can be used in everyday life.

See, I have an image of myself, the way I want to be. This image is my ‘ideal self’, the very best, most motivated and inspired ‘me’ that I try to live up to. This is perfect version of myself acts as a guide, almost like Fight Club’s Tyler Durden: he’s me, only he’s me who dresses how I want to dress, and acts the way I want to act. He’s smart, capable, and free in all the ways that I am not. If you keep a strong image of who you want to be and how you want to act in your mind at all times, it can help you move towards your goals with much more ease and clarity than might otherwise be the case.

When I get stuck in an area of my life, I ask myself, “What would I do?”Sometimes I visualise it; these days I tend to know what the answer is already. Sometimes I have to search a little harder, but that just means it’s a question that’s REALLY worth asking. I imagine what this perfect version of myself would do if he was in my exact same situation, looking and feeling exactly the way I do at that point in time. How would he react if he was where I stood now, with the same resources, same clothes, but with a new, improved attitude? You can even imagine your life as a movie, and think how you would be willing yourself to act in any given situation.

Then I go out and do whatever is I would do. It’s easy, because it’s the kind of thing I would do anyway.

Know Thyself, and the rest is easy.

"If he's so smart, how come he's dead?"

I keep this image of who I want to be in my mind as often as I can. It may help to right down the characteristics that are important to you in order to clarify where you want to be. Try and be as specific as possible. Instead of saying ‘the Ideal Me is more confident, harder working, better organized’, try phrasing it as, ‘I’m the kind of man who believe in himself whatever the situation, always does his best, and is always making the best use of his time’. Keep this image in mind, and feel free to update it whenever you feel it’s necessary. Remember, as you grow and evolve, your idea of what constitutes the ideal life will evolve too.

So… next time you’re stuck for ideas, ask yourself:

‘What would YOU do if you were the guy you always wanted to be?’

Try it.

Eventually, you might become that guy. You’ll be yourself, all the ways you wish you could be. Even if you never make it, you will be constantly striving towards an ever-involving vision of perfection. It’s not the flashiest solution, but it’s quick, easy, and effective. If you were the awesome guy you want to be, wouldn’t you give it a go?

"I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, save me Superman!"

Here's one I made earlier

2010-11-23T11:50:00.006Z

Oof. Busy as sin at the moment, from training and work. Because of that, I thought I'd dig out this old article I wrote a year or so ago. What does being fit and healthy mean to you, and what would you do to get there?

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The Difference between Health and Fitness

Kick around in the park - fun and social

A lot of people talk about ‘getting fit’, or trying to be ‘healthy’. It’s the sort of vague New Year’s resolution or earnest promise that often falls by the wayside, precisely because it can mean almost anything. The key thing is to understand exactly what being fit or healthy entails.

Most people aren’t influenced by the government’s constantly changing recommended level of weekly exercise. For most people, it’s about somehow enriching their lives in some fashion. It’s about fun, achievement. Otherwise it would be hard for many people to continue, because the truth is, when you begin any exercise regime for the first time, it’s a sore and painful experience.

For a lot of people, the goal is simply to lose a bit of weight, to put on a bit of muscle, or just to have a bit more energy in day to day life. For others, it’s the pursuit of a specific goal, such as lifting a certain amount of weight, reaching a certain time, or increasing sporting performance.

Some people are attracted by the prospect of competition, whether it’s with others, or with themselves. Some exercise for the sake of it: exercise produces endorphins, giving you a satisfying natural high. Many find this reward to be worth the effort of strenuous exercise: another similar phenomenon is the ‘adrenaline junkie’, who enjoys the thrill of extreme sports. Sporting clubs are also a great way of meeting like-minded people, so there’s also a social element involved.

Pumping iron. Less fun, less social

However, it’s not uncommon for a hobby to become a huge part of someone’s life, and it can become an all consuming passion or obsession. It can put you under massive physical stress, especially when balanced alongside work and family commitments. It can wear down the immune system, defeating the initial purpose of exercising.

It’s easy for new hobbies to take over a huge part of your life, to the detriment of your career, your family life, and your social life. And this was supposed to be fun!

For many people who get wrapped up in their chosen pursuits, the initial vague goal of getting fitter or healthier fades away. A lot of sports aren’t particularly good for the body. For example, marathon runners put enormous strain on their bodies, arguably putting themselves through more punishment than is good for them. But are there other less tangible benefits?

Achieving goals and seeing improvements can give real boosts to your confidence, including a sense of purpose, confidence, and self-worth. Suffering in the name of performance can teach us valuable lessons about self sacrifice. It might be sub-optimal physically, but it can do wonders for your mentality.

For example, I’m a mixed martial artist. I can train at a high intensity for long periods of time: by anyone’s standards, I have excellent cardiovascular fitness. But am I healthy? I’m not an old man, but sometimes I hobble like one. My ankle clicks, and there’s something wrong with my knee and I’m not sure if I want to know what it is. I’m constantly weary through over-exertion. Several joints ache, and certain movements hurt- sometimes a lot.

Mark Coleman - "Daddy's OK"

My coaches and teammates have similar lists of complaints, and the general consensus is that it’s an unavoidable part of the sport and the hard training that goes with it. For us, the benefit is not about getting fit, it’s about the excitement and the love of the sport, and the hard work, pain and injuries are a price worth paying. Getting in shape is a requirement, not an end.

Some people, such as professional sportsmen or those with an extreme dedication to healthy living, will alter their diets in the pursuit of peak performance. They might ingest all kinds of pills, supplements and food products, or eat as cleanly as possible in order to feel good, both physically and ethically.

I have a friend who lives on a raw food vegan diet, while I’ve just opened a book on healthy living that recommends the broccoli sandwich as part of a healthy lifestyle. Now that’s not exactly high up on my list of tasty treats. That said, while supplements such as wheatgrass can be hard to stomach, others such as the ultra trendy goji or açai berries are actually rather tasty.

And what about alcohol? Many super fit athletes or health conscious individuals foreswear alcohol altogether. Conversely, there are also countless studies that suggest that daily moderate intake of red wine gives great health benefits and numerous high profile athletes do go along with this.

Some athletes may smoke despite the fact it might hinder their performance, balancing reward against risk, while others find that upping their training is the incentive they need to kick the habit.

There is a minefield of excess information in the world today. If you look hard enough, you can find information conflicting with and discrediting just about anything else. If you want to believe in a particular trend or habit, you can almost always find some sort of evidence corroborating it, even if it’s just anecdotal.

In other words, sometimes it’s best to realise that it may be better to make a few sub-optimal choices in terms of lifestyle and diet, so long as you feel happy about it. I came across a French bar saying that tickled me and illustrates the point pretty well: ‘white wine may be bad for the nerves, but it’s not as bad as no white wine’. The key thing is finding a balance that works for you. Think of the more extreme diets used by champions over the years such as Michael Phelp’s ridiculous high calorie diet.

A normal, healthy, balanced male

The Oxford English Dictionary defines health as ‘the state of being free from illness or injury’ or ‘a person’s mental or physical condition’. Health is about looking and feeling good. It can mean being mentally and physically able, being physically fit enough to live an active lifestyle without discomfort, and having an immune system that rarely succumbs to illness. It means exercising, eating, and drinking a moderate amount. It means being able to enjoy your life, however you see fit. Whatever path you choose, the important thing is that it makes you feel good– now that’s a healthy way to live.

What's my motivation?

2010-11-11T22:56:00.003Z

Today I met up with my good friend J_____, who’s a successful life coach. It does mean that he occasionally asks you questions that really make you think, but that’s all part of the fun- cheers mate! Anyway, at one point he asked why writing is my dream job. Sit back and find out why...

Like him or not, Tony Robbins has achieved a lot

Around 5 years ago, J_____ discovered a Tony Robbins course, which helped him to imagine how his life could look... before realising that his reality looked entirely different. That gave him the motivation to turn his life around. He treats his life as a second chance, one that he’s putting to good use. Right now, he’s remarkably successful and doing something he’s incredibly passionate about. And the bastard is a day younger than me.

He shared an image that really got me thinking. Imagine a line that represents the entirety of your life. Cut out the hours you sleep, and that line shrinks. Cut out the days you are ill, it shrinks again. Cut out those days where nothing seems to go your way. Cut out the time you have to do chores, or go to work, or are just sitting around wasting time, in traffic, or in front of the TV. What are you left with? Maybe a few years at most when you get to do what you want.

Right now I’m doing NaNoWriMo- or writing a 50,000 word novel in one month. Ouch. I’m not going to lie, it’s tough. I also have to write several articles a day for work, and at some point it can be hard to stay motivated. It’s at this point, you need to reconnect with your purpose, your motivation, your urgency.

This summer, I realised that I needed to get serious – fast. A few things happened: I turned 26. I had promised myself at 25 that it was time to get serious: quarter of a century, and a nice round number. When I hit 26, I realised that I hadn’t done everything I’d set out to do, and that I was now (gulp) in my late 20s. Then my sister got married. Thankfully that’s my older sister, but still. That’s grown up stuff. Then a couple of guys I know got novels published. Whoa, you mean people actually do this shit? People like me? Time to get serious. There’s my urgency.

Me walking down the street

J_____ and I talked about our motivations, why I write and why he helps people turn their lives around. Turns out we both wanted to help other people, to touch other people’s lives, to try and influence just one person positively by sharing our views and experiences. And you know what? The fact that I write articles that might help someone live a healthier life, the fact that I can share my experiences here, the fact that I’m writing a novel that addresses things I find important: that’s my purpose. Sometimes I forget that. But on days like today, when I realise that I have a purpose that I’m actually working towards, that I’m doing what I always wanted to do, I find myself smiling and laughing as I walk down the street. And you know what? That’s all the motivation I need.

Fear is your friend

2010-11-10T23:01:00.005Z

Eep.

Today, I got back into light training after dislocating my shoulder a couple of months ago. I was a bit nervous: maybe even scared. I’m used to that feeling going into a tough sparring session, where everyone’s gearing up for a fight and swinging for the fences. But this was different, a simple training session with a bit of light grappling sparring at the end. Hardly the stuff to get the heart racing, but I was still scared because I’m worried about the injury, which may never fully heal.

A lot of things scare me or have scared me in the past. Before a fight, I’m scared. That one’s self explanatory: you can get hurt. You can get injured. You can lose. You could get knocked out in front of your friends. I’m afraid that injuries might stop me from doing the thing I love.

Then there are other things. I was afraid to write a blog, because some people might criticize what I had to say or make fun of me- and that’s from my mates (I was right there: cheers, you bastards!). I’m afraid that people aren’t going to laugh at my jokes: they’re going to laugh at me instead. I might be afraid to grab the girl I have a crush on who’s been flirting with me for months. I’m afraid when I have to submit some work or pitch an idea to someone, because I worry that it’s going to be rejected.

Basically, I’m afraid every time I take a risk.

Actually, that’s not entirely true. I’m exaggerating a bit, but you get the idea. Anyway, what is important is that I don’t get scared if something doesn’t mean anything to me.

My friend T__ put this into perspective. Fear happens when you think there’s a risk. Fear is good. It keeps you sharp. It helps you learn. It stops you from walking down dark alleys filled with tigers wearing a Lady Gaga style meat suit. And it lets you know what’s important to you.

Fighting is exciting, partly because of the risk. Doing it in front of a crowd is even more so, partly because there is more at stake than there is in sparring, and your emotions are ten times more intense. I know I’m writing about something that’s important to me if I’m worried about how it will be received. I know I’m attracted to a girl when I start worrying about whether we’ll end up together. Get too scared, and you won’t do what you need to do. It can focus your mind, but it can also paralyze you. Acknowledge the fear, let it guide you, but don’t dwell on it, because otherwise you’re just going to get in your own way, second guessing yourself into a corner.

But doing the things that scare you gives you freedom, it gives you confidence in yourself, and it helps you grow as a person. And besides, have you ever done something you were scared of? The feeling after you’ve risen to the challenge and conquered your fear is a good one, to say the least. Sure I’m scared: but being scared doesn’t frighten me anymore. The only things I really regret in my life are the things that I was afraid to do and then avoided doing. You can’t escape being afraid, but you can change how you react to it.

Example: Jackie Chan. This is a man who willingly jumps off cliffs, onto moving trains, hovercrafts, and passing helicopters, breaking virtually every bone in his body while doing so – including his skull – and still keeps on doing it regardless. I give you Jackie Chan, daredevil extraordinaire, man without fear:

Ow!

“Every stunt, I get scared before. Every one. With jumps, I learned never to go to the top until the very last moment. You start thinking, ‘What if I land on my head? What if I break my back?’ So many thoughts. So I stay below, talking to my stunt guys, until the last moment. My heart always beating fast.”

Chicken.

Kung Fu Hustle

2010-11-08T23:58:00.003Z

Just watching the fantastic Kung Fu Hustle. If you've never seen it, I highly recommend it. To be honest, it's absolutely bonkers. I grew up watching lots of kung fu movies, and Stephen Chow movies in particular. He's got a crazy style of comedy known as 'mo lei tau', which loosely translates to 'no sense' or 'no head', a style of comedy that comes across as very slapstick and not a little bit Looney Toons in nature.

Why is this move so awesome? Well, it manages to marry several different sensibilities, seamlessly stringing together classic Hong Kong kung fu action with the humour of Chow's earlier work. It throws together endless movie pastiches in irreverent but affectionate fashion.

But most of all, it is a movie with real heart, one that sticks great gags and characters around a classic coming of age story. In many ways, it's a real comic book superhero story with the excellent Stephen Chow at its heart, pulling off the central role of a man wrestling with his own destiny and trying to find his own place in the world. His transformation from loveable loser to hero of the hour contains some real heartfelt moments, ably supported by a cast of capable character actors and comedy relief.

Chow was nearly involved with the remake of Bruce Lee's The Green Hornet, a gig that would have helped him break the Western Market. Even without that, he's had exposure through his earlier Shaolin Soccer, another barmy movie that turns football matches into trench warfare.

I'm particularly fond of the moment where it's suggested that Chow has the potential to become a great lawyer or doctor. More like a stuntman, interjects another character. Hell yeah.

It's a great little movie that hasn't got the most heavy duty of plots, but it's all carried off with such an expertly light hand that it's impossibe to watch without being won over.

He's a hell of a role model, both in terms of movie making and as a character.

Learning - Mastery and Failure

2010-11-08T15:47:00.003Z

How do you learn?

One model used to analyze the process suggests that we learn in a few different ways. Some of us learn by seeing something done, or by reading about it, while others take in information when someone explains it to them. Others understand when they actually do something for themselves.

That's how you learn to do something right, anyway. You see something done right, you try and copy it, you don't do so well, you do it again and get better, until you succeed.

I tend to get a lot of things wrong. A lot of the time I find this is where I learn the most important lessons.
In my last fight, I found myself on my back getting controlled by my opponent. I failed with several submission and sweep attempts, because I'd been doing alright with them in training and hadn't had to correct small mistakes in my technique. As a result I lost the fight. Afterwards, I spent a long time correcting flaws, making sure that it wouldn't happen again. Inspirational quotation alert: when Thomas Edison was asked how it felt to have failed so many times, he supposedly responded by saying "If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is often a step forward..."

When you get things wrong, you have to work a lot harder to find out why. You start dissecting things in your head, trying to work out why things work, why you're failing, what other people are doing that you aren't doing, or what you're doing that others aren't. Eventually, if you put the hours in, you find that you begin to understand the principles behind what you're doing. Learning to deal with failure is important, otherwise you'll find yourself giving up at the first sign of trouble.

Also, when you struggle to get the hang of something, you get a good idea of how much you really want to succeed in any particular area. If you fail first time, sometimes it just makes you realise how much you want to be good. George Leonard's Mastery is an excellent book about the process of really devoting yourself to getting good at something.

Now I'm trying to improve my writing, so I'm attempting National Novel Writing Month, where you try and write a 50,000 word novel in a month. I'm finding it hard, most of what I'm writing is frankly pretty poor, but you know what? I'm starting to develop a writing style, as well as a way of maximizing my productivity (time spent writing a blog instead of working not included).

The lesson? Give yourself permission to fail: in fact, put yourself in a situation where you're going to get things wrong.

Dom

Living the Dream

2010-11-08T14:40:00.002Z

We all have an idea of our dream lifestyle. It's something that you can think about, a crumb of comfort as you go about your work, treading water.

After I read Tim Ferriss' excellent book, "The Four Hour Work Week", I started to think about the route I was going down and where I wanted to be. The two paths weren't even close to each other.

Tim talks about the 'deferred life plan', the traditional western model where you work a job to save up enough money to eventually retire and live the life you want. Obvious downside: you have to wait until you retire to do all the crazy stuff, by which time you're old. Sure you can go on holiday, but if you want to take a longer period off you're going to have a tough time explaining this in a traditional career setting.

He talks about mini retirements, periodical breaks where you work and save then take time off. That's more like it. He also talks about automated income, where you set up a business that makes money with minimal input from you (after you set it up of course) so that you can fund your life of wild adventures. Now we're cooking with gas.

Actually putting this into practice hasn't been a piece of cake, but if it was we'd all be doing it. At least I know what I'm aiming at now.

So Here We Are

2010-11-08T12:58:00.003Z

Well, this is it, the first significant post on my blog.

Now why the hell should anyone choose to share their thoughts and experiences with the world at large, or even with their close acquaintances? Especially with something that cuts rather close to pure narcissism and pretension.

I try, not always successfully, to push myself in new directions, to try new things, so by writing about it I hope to share some of the lessons I've learned from the experiences I've had. Maybe I can pique your interest in some of my passions, or titillate you with voyeuristic episodes, or just make you shake your head in disgust.

I also want to share with you some of the more interesting things I see and hear throughout the day, whether they're thought provoking, interesting or just plain funny. Expect to see songs I love, clips from movies, or whatever.

Of course, this is as much for my benefit as yours: by writing about my experiences, I hope to be able to put things into perspective and learn more. My life is still coming together: but then again, who wants to read about someone with a perfect life? Way too dull. Fast car + skillful driving + risk of crashing = excitement.

This summer I realised that I had a whole raft of dreams that I was putting off. A few things happened: I got a bit older, I injured myself, and my sister got married. Time to take stock. Things have changed: I quit my job and am working freelance. I'm looking after myself a bit better, and more importantly my life is starting to look like something I'd actually want to live. I was on the verge of fighting MMA professionaly before crippling myself, so I've got another obstacle to overcome there as well.

And writing this blog is a damn sight easier than the writing I'm meant to be doing right now.

Dom

Howdy Folks

2010-11-08T12:27:00.001Z

Welcome to my long overdue blog.

My life has had its ups and downs, but I've always found that no matter how the shit hits the fan, I've always been able to get a good story out of it. Sometimes I've even learned from my mistakes, although a lot of the time I can be found smacking myself in the head and wondering why I didn't learn sooner.

Occasionally I get things right.

So if I can inspire you to do something (or not to do something, depending on just how bone-headed I've been). I'm also hoping you good folks would be kind enough to give me feedback, on my writing, on my life, or just give me validation by reading and commenting as I overshare.

Hope you'll enjoy picking over my thoughts and meditations.

Dom