My life as a trimommy

What's for Dinner: Cheddar Broccoli Frittata

2013-05-21T09:47:00.003-04:00

I love breakfast. It is by far my favorite meal of the day. I love it so much, sometimes I eat it for lunch. And dinner. Breakfast is my default. My favorite breakfast for dinner is pancakes (duh), but pancakes and me don't always get along. They flip some sort of switch in my body that makes me crave all things carb and sugar for the next 24 hours. I will reserve the pancakes for a pancake party perhaps.

So instead of pancakes, every couple of weeks I make a version of this frittata. It's easy, it's cheap, it's customizable, and it's delicious. My children affectionately call this dish "egg-y pie." If you call it pie they will eat it. I promise.

Cheddar Broccoli Frittata (Egg-y Pie)

Broccoli florets, about 1 head (I just sort of eyeball it)
1-2 tbsp. butter (use grass-fed...it's good and good for you!)
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (more or less is fine)
6-8 eggs
Options:
chopped onions, bacon, ham, different veggies, different cheese, the possibilities are endless

1. Preheat your oven to 350. Bring some water to a boil and give the broccoli a quick steam. (A lot of times I'll make a bunch of broccoli for dinner the night before and use the leftovers for the frittata. In that case, you don't have to do anything to it. Just put it right into the mixing bowl.)
2. If you are adding meat or other raw veggies, cook the meat in an oven-safe pan (I use my cast iron skillet), then saute the veggies in the fat leftover from the meat. Put all of the meat and veggies into a big bowl.
3. Melt the butter in the same pan.
4. Crack all the eggs into the bowl with the veggies and throw in the shredded cheese and some salt and pepper.
5. Give it a good stir and pour it into the hot pan that now has melted butter in it.
6. Cook on medium for about 5 minutes or so and then throw the whole thing into the oven and bake for about 20-25 minutes until the middle is set and not jiggly.

This time I had my bacon on the side!

What is your default any time of the day meal?

Long Ride by the Numbers

2013-05-19T11:26:00.007-04:00

147 average heart rate

81 average cadence (darn hills)

53 very windy but beautiful miles

32 times (at least) I was thankful for being on my bike

9 Powerbar Cola Energy Blast Chews dropped on the road which made me very sad (always have backup nutrition!!)

4 miles run off the bike - almost time for Rev3 Quassy!!

3 dogs that chased me (none of them caught me, but I'm pretty sure the first number would be even lower if they hadn't chased me!)

2 times I was stung through my bike shorts by

1 very angry and now dead bee

0 regrets

Instagram Pics of the Week

2013-05-18T23:09:00.002-04:00

Bleeding Hearts in my backyard.

Running just because it's fun.

I love riding to Victory.

Muted sunset over Cayuga Lake.

The Bike Rodeo Champion!

What's for Breakfast? Grain-Free Breakfast Ideas

2013-05-14T11:00:00.002-04:00

Back in January I made a pretty big and permanent shift in my diet to cut out most grains and sugars. I had been leaning this way for a while, but for some reason I finally made the decision for real in January and haven't looked back. My primary reason for doing this is gaining health and avoiding diabetes and metabolic syndrome which run in my family on both sides.

I have avoided classifying the way that I eat as any one particular style, but if you take a look at what I am eating every day it looks a lot like Primal or Paleo. I do still include dairy in my diet, primarily in full fat forms of yogurt, cheese, butter and cream. I have been tracking my food for several months and the macronutrient breakdown is somewhere in the range of 50-55% fat, 25-30% carbs, and 15-20% protein depending on the day. I'm still tweaking these numbers to find what is my personal sweet spot for maximum energy while still working on body composition and losing extra fat. This is tricky to do while training, and I am definitely not skimping on carbs during my long training sessions. I did try to do this at the beginning, but the quality of my training definitely suffered. The deeper I dig into nutrition the more I find you have to figure out what works for you and then OWN it! Don't justify, don't make excuses, don't be afraid of what people will say, just know that it works for you.

Since January I have lost about 20 pounds. I haven't weighed myself this month for my May #project30days, so I don't know the exact number, but I do know my clothes are looser and I feel leaner. (On a side note, instead of weighing myself I have been taking a weekly picture of myself in my Rev3 shimmer bikini to track my progress. I'm not ready to share these, but I'm hoping I will be soon!)

Anyway, one question that I get asked a lot when I tell people about how I eat is, "What do you have for breakfast?" If you grew up in America you are pretty much used to cereal, toast, waffles, pancakes or oatmeal for breakfast, all of which do not work well for my body. I also LOVE cereal and have had to declare it off-limits for me. I do not eat just a bowl of cereal, I eat half a box, and then I eat the other half the next day. I used to have cereal after long workouts as "recovery" food, but I have realized it's like a drug for me. If I start the day with carbs, that is what I will want for the rest of the day.

So I pretty much rotate between 3 or 4 breakfasts every day. I rarely get bored with them because I can do lots of variations, and I really like all of them so it's something I look forward to.

This is my go-to breakfast in various forms. Pictured is strawberries, plain full fat Fage yogurt, homemade almond butter and a spoonful of chia seeds. Sometimes I will have raspberries or apples instead of strawberries. Sometimes I will have creme fraiche (I've been using this recipe to make it at home) or full fat cottage cheese instead of yogurt. I could literally eat this every day I love it so much. I also eat it for lunch now and then if I don't have it for breakfast.

Another favorite of mine is a green smoothie. I usually choose this if I have a busy morning of running around because I can take it with me, and like the meal above it can also sub in for lunch on a busy day. The basic ingredients are 1 cup So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk, 1 cup frozen fruit (I avoid bananas because of the high sugar content), 2-3 big huge handfuls of kale and/or spinach, some sort of protein - either a scoop of whey protein powder (I use this) or an egg, a tablespoon of chia seeds and then other flavorful add-ins like almond or lemon extract or a scoop of raw cacao powder.

My favorite is chocolate cherry:

1 cup frozen cherries

1 cup unsweetened So Delicious coconut milk (the kind in the box)

1 scoop chocolate protein powder

1 tbsp. raw cacao powder

little drop of almond extract

3 huge handfuls of raw baby spinach and or baby kale greens

big spoonful of coconut cream (the solid part in the can of coconut milk)

1 Tbsp chia seeds

Mix it up in the blender. You might have to add a little water to get it to blend if you don't have a fancy Vitamix (one can only dream..). You can totally mix it up (haha) with different kinds of fruit combos. The possibilities are endless.

It only cost $30, but it gets the job done.

My other go-to breakfast is banana-egg pancakes. I eat this primarily on big training days because it has a little more carbs than the others. It is super easy. Basically combine 2 eggs and one raw banana in a mixer. You can also throw a spoonful of chia seeds or some almond butter in there too. I use a little mixer like this for easy pouring. (This mixer is also great for taking to away races for my race morning shake.)

Once you have your "batter" made, melt some coconut oil in a pan and cook it up like pancakes. They are pretty delicate so don't make them too big and turn carefully.

Voila!! Pancakes for breakfast. I eat them as is without any extra syrup (AKA sugar).

These breakfasts work great for me to satisfy my hunger in the morning, keep me going through lunch and give me what my taste buds are looking for when I wake up.

What is your go-to breakfast?

The Courage to be Imperfect

2013-05-09T07:12:00.001-04:00

Confession: I am a perfectionist. However, I think I like the idea of perfection more than I like actually working on it. But when it really comes right down to it, perfection is totally overrated. Who can live up to all that hype day in and day out? As I am getting older and wiser, I am starting to see the beauty in being imperfect.

I came across a great TED talk by Brene Brown the other day on vulnerability. If you want to hear the whole talk (which is worth the time), you can check it out here, but there was one thing that was said that is absolutely worth repeating:

Whole-hearted people have the courage to be imperfect, the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, and connection to others as a result of authenticity. They were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were. (italics added)

This really hit home for me. In so many areas of my life I feel like I am always trying to do what I should, be who I should, act like I should, and say what I should. That is a whole lot of SHOULD. When I sit down and think of what I should be this is what I come up with:

The Perfect Mother - always patient and available for her kids, crafty, clean fun, happy, loves to do projects, wants kids to excel and does whatever it takes to see that happen, never yells or loses her temper, looks forward to spending time with her kids every day, volunteers for all activities at school, actually does those things on Pinterest and then brags about it on Facebook.

The Enlightened Woman- always focused on health and spiritual growth, reads Bible every day, prays for people she doesn't like except she really likes and sees the good in everyone, always on time, calm, peaceful, compassionate, looks down her nose at all things typical (fast food, cookies that aren't homemade, things in wrappers), oh, and beautiful even without makeup on, skinny and runs fast effortlessly.

What I realized is that I am ALL of those things, I am just not all of those things all of the time. I am not all of those things even MOST of the time, and that is okay. My imperfections don't make me less they make me more, especially if I acknowledge them and accept myself as who I am today in this very minute. That doesn't mean I don't want to work on some of them or improve, but it means that just because I am not perfect does not mean I am inadequate. I need to acknowledge and nurture who I am instead of focus on what I am not.

It is only when I begin to accept the imperfect in myself that I can start to connect with other people in meaningful and real ways.

So, maybe I am a recovering perfectionist (is there a 12-step program for that?), and part of what I need to do daily is have the courage to be imperfect.

The Mind of a Child

2013-05-05T21:33:00.001-04:00

We went to watch Kel and many friend run the Mountain Goat race this morning. It is a spring tradition here in Syracuse. The Mountain Goat is a hilly 10-mile road race and it is always strangely hot compared to the weather preceding it for some reason.

Today was no different. Ryan was getting a little antsy while we were waiting for Kel to finish, so I handed him my phone.

This is what I found on it tonight. Clearly my child has no problems finding his way around a smart phone.

I think it's interesting that he took pictures of me and Noah, but had none of the race. The last one was at a cookout we went to after the race. Sometimes I wish I could step into his mind for a few minutes, just to know what was going on in there.

The Little Things

2013-05-03T22:18:00.001-04:00

I'm not sure if you know this about me, but I seem to always have a lot on my plate. I try really hard to be organized and to say no to things I don't really want to do, but when it comes down to it, I just have a lot going on between my kids and my many jobs and my training and everything else that seems to pop up and fill up my free time. Sometimes I feel like I am just going all the time, so when I have a moment that is just peaceful and beautiful it kind of sticks out. What I have noticed is that these moments, like all good things, must be cultivated. It is up to me to make them happen, so I was thinking the other day about the little things in life that make it better - the things I can do for myself that bring joy, peace, a sense of contentment, and rest to my life, and here is what I have come up with so far.

spending time alone in the morning
lighting a candle
getting mail (I guess I can't technically do this for myself, but I do really enjoy it)
sitting and drinking a cup of coffee (instead of running around doing other things while drinking it)
doing just one thing that is not work (reading blogs, watching tv - this pleasure is greatly diminished if I try to do more than one thing at a time like read blogs AND watch tv)
reading for pleasure
browsing by myself at Target
baking (which I miss since I have cut most grains and most sugars out of my diet)
going out to dinner with Kel
staying home all day

I was actually surprised at how short my list was and that almost all of them involved being alone. I also think that I am not always mindful of the little pleasures, so I am going to start writing these moments down so I can get into the habit of doing them for myself more often.

What are the little things in your life that make a big difference?

Today: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

2013-04-30T22:02:00.002-04:00

The Good:

I rode outside today!! The roads were dry and I got in about 2 hours. I had a couple of intervals to do and during one 20 minutes I averaged almost 20 mph! SO GOOD!!

The Bad:

It was super windy (see above wind-aided split - did you like how I left that part out?), so after I turned around it was slow going. I decided that since it's been such a long winter I refuse to complain about the wind, but I did get blown around quite a bit out there today. Not that I'm complaining or anything.

The Ugly:

How is it possible to not have a cold or allergies and still have so much snot in my head? Just call me "Snot-Rocket Girl" from now on.

#Project30Days: May

2013-04-29T21:56:00.000-04:00

I am officially declaring my first #project30days a success!! I have learned so much about myself this month by doing this, and I am already looking forward to beginning another 30 days.

I was thinking this morning about what my projects for May would be. A couple were very easy.

1. Make my bed every day.

I'm not really a bed-making kind of person. I'm definitely in the I'm-just-going-to-get-back-in-so-why-bother camp, but I was struck last week by the feeling I got when I completed just one small chore before the boys got up. I also read here that making your bed helps you to be more productive and also boosts happiness. I could use some more of those for sure. So, starting on May 1, I will have a made bed every day for 30 days.

2. Take a picture a day.

This is something I've been wanting to do for a while, and now that I have Instagram on my phone, I really have no excuse. I think the hardest part of this project will be to just remember, especially at the beginning. Hopefully I won't have a ton of pictures of my living room at night! LOL!

The last one I chose is not one that I am particularly looking forward to. The thought came to me this morning as I was thinking about this and as soon as it popped into my head I immediately dismissed it. NO WAY! Then I realized if I was that reluctant to try it, there is probably a VERY good reason for me to do it.

3. Do not weigh myself.

So I realize this is about NOT doing something for a month instead of doing something for a month, but it is just something I need to do. I'm pretty sure there is no time in the past 5 years that I have gone longer than a week without weighing myself. These days I get on the scale daily. I tell myself I do it to hold myself accountable, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I just have an unhealthy relationship with the number on the scale. Why does the number matter if I know I am eating right and exercising? I am taking a stand right here and now and saying that my health and fitness will not be determined by a number. This will be a particularly hard month to do it because I have Rev3Quassy the first weekend in June. I'm actually not worried at all about gaining weight, I am just scared to NOT KNOW!!

So there it is. I plan on continuing my daily reflection and early rising although I may sleep late one day a week! I also plan on posting a lot to the blog, but probably not every day. There are just some days I really don't have much to say. Can you believe it?

One of the best things to come out of #project30days is the community. There are quite a few of us on twitter and I am considering creating a facebook page for those of you not cool enough to have a twitter handle yet (don't worry, I still love you!).

Are you ready to dive in? May 1st is a beautiful day to start something new!

A Few of My Favorite Things - April Edition

2013-04-28T22:15:00.000-04:00

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Brown paper packages tied up with string...

Man, I love me some Sound of Music.

I don't have a song for you, but thought I would share some of my favorite things from this month. I am not sponsored or paid by any of these companies and haven't been given anything to say how much I love them. I just do!

On my phone:

Instagram. What's not to love? Why did it take me so long to jump on this bandwagon? I find it very beautiful and stress relieving to just scroll through the pictures in my feed. It gets my creative juices flowing and is something I just really look forward to.

Color Note. I used to use it for to-do lists, but found something new for that. Now I am just using it to jot down quick ideas as they come to me. I also use it to keep track of my 365 moments and other little things I want or need to remember.

Gentle Alarm. The best alarm ever!! It has a pre-alarm that you will only hear if you are already awake. The regular alarm starts really softly and gradually gets louder and you can choose from many different sounds. I love that it doesn't scare the crap out of me every morning. The free one doesn't work on Wednesdays (which is really funny), so I spent the couple of bucks for the upgrade.

MyFitnessPal. If you log your food, this is the best site out there in my opinion. Easy to use, lots of stuff in the library, and includes a bar code scanner (although if you are not eating a ton of processed foods you won't have too many opportunities to use it.) I have recently become obsessed with how much fiber I am eating, and I love how it breaks everything down in a very easy to read form.

On my computer:

TED Talks. Seriously, if you want to get better at anything or think differently about any topic, or just get inspired, you have got to check this out. I have been watching some on the trainer every now and then. I really enjoy them.

StayFocusd. I loaded this to my computer so I would not fool around instead of working. (I also loaded it onto my phone, but there are some kinks that I don't love about it.) It's hard core. Don't use it if you really aren't serious about it. It blocks certain websites (or everything if you choose), for certain periods of time that you decide upon. It can also block certain websites after you spend a set amount of time on them each day. For example, on weekdays I have it set to block Facebook after 10 minutes. It has really helped me cut down on wasted time fooling around on the internet when I should be getting work done, and I'm pretty darn sure I'm not the only one who does that!

At home:

My Journal. It is beautiful and getting more so each day as I fill it up with my thoughts and fears and hopes and inspiration. I love flipping through the pages that are written upon already and then turning a crisp blank page to start the day. The edges are starting to get a little worn and I dog-ear the pages that I return to often., but that makes it feel even more like mine. Kind of like putting on your favorite sweatshirt from college that is frayed at the neck and sleeves and way too big, but you love it anyway because it is just so soft and right.

Verismo. I got this for Christmas and it has totally been a huge part of my success in getting up early each day this month for my #project30days. It has helped me cut down on my heavy cream consumption because I am much more inclined to have a second cup of coffee if I make a whole french press full. Also, it is red and matches my kitchen and makes me feel all cool while I am drinking my americano each morning.

Chia Seeds. I went through a chia seed phase a few years ago when they first got super popular, but after my supply was gone I kind of forgotten about them. However, with my new fiber obsession, I was looking for something to up my grams for the day and my teammate Alisa reminded me of them. They have 5 (!) grams of fiber in a tablespoon!! I sprinkle them on my yogurt and fruit and put a spoonful in my smoothies. Super easy and I don't even notice them.

What are you loving this month? Please share!

Just Like Riding a Bike

2013-04-27T23:31:00.001-04:00

Today I was supposed to ride and swim. I got my ride done indoors while Kel was riding outside. I chose inside because it was a hard interval ride and they are sometimes just easier to do on the trainer (no lights, cars, etc.). As of this morning I had still not ridden my bike outside this year! THIS YEAR!! It's been very cold and snowy, but the truth of it is that I am always just a little bit nervous about riding outside for the first time each year. The past couple of years I blamed this on my bike accident, but while that certainly has something to do with it, I think I am always just a little bit nervous because it's been so darn long since the last time I rode it outside.

What if I have forgotten how to ride my bike?

What if I get out there and everything feels shaky and weird?

What if I get a flat tire?

What if I get lost?

What if something happens and I am not home in time to get the kids off the bus and nobody knows where I am?

Obviously, all of these questions have totally logical and simple answers, but there is no denying I might have put this ride off a little bit later than I had to. I like for Kel to be home while I am out on that first ride "just in case." I don't want it to be a super long ride "just in case." I don't want to have to ride hard "just in case." Just in case of what I have no idea, but my illogical fears seem to betray my desires in this case every single year.

So, I rode inside this morning. Then I went outside at 4:30 and thought to myself that it would be a sin, a SIN, I tell you, if I did not ride my bike outside today. The Lord would look down upon me in sorrow and disappointment if I did not get my bike on the road. So I marched in the house, declared to Kel that this would be the day for the first ride of the year, bagged the swim, switched out the trainer wheel and off I went.

It was one hour and six minutes of pure joy. At one point I was so happy I literally screamed with joy (I admit, I did wait until there were no houses around before I did that, and even then still felt a tiny bit embarrassed). The roads came back to me like old friends, constant and unchanging, picking up things right where we left off last fall. The sun shined down on me and the wind blew against my face. My pedals were smooth and sure, and after months of going nowhere I felt like I could ride forever. Even the bugs smacking into my face and my constantly runny nose were a welcome reminder of what I had missed all winter long (and we have had a winter that has lasted practically a year. Seriously. A school year, anyways.)

It was...just like riding a bike.

Discoveries: #Project30Days Update

2013-04-26T08:27:00.001-04:00

Here we are 26 days into our first #Project30Days! My projects for this month were to get up early, spend some time in quiet reflection, and post on my blog each day.

The other morning as I sat down on the couch with my journal I felt so content. I had a cup of coffee in my hand, the fireplace was on, a blanket was wrapped around me, the sun was streaming through the window warming my face and my heart, the sound of the washing machine wiping all the dirt away from the day before was playing in the background, and I had just called my husband at work to wish him a happy birthday. I took the time to think about where this contentment was coming from and was surprised to discover that all of those little things added up to this one great feeling. The ritual of the coffee, the connection with my husband, the feeling of being wrapped in warmth, the beauty of the sun and the fireplace, and the feeling of accomplishment from a chore already completed for the day seemed to be a magical combination, and I took the time to acknowledge it and savor it. (It was soon thwarted by the peanuts in the peanut butter meltdown, but it was so good while it lasted!)

I have discovered that taking time with the little things in my life and paying attention to how certain things make me feel gives me an amazing amount of control over my sense of contentment, achievement, and happiness. There are some days when I have not been able to do these things in the order I would like, so I am also learning that flexibility in my projects is key. If I have to stay up really late for a concert than getting up early might mean getting up at 7 instead of 6. If my kids decide to get up at 6:15 and I don't have time to get my quiet time in before they go to school, then I use that time to get other things accomplished (this morning I put in a load of laundry, cleaned the bathroom, and got all of the stuff ready for my long ride today) and then I can get some quiet time in after the bus comes. #Project30Days is not about being rigid it is about discovering what works and what doesn't!

I am already thinking of my projects for next month! How are you guys doing? I'd love to hear what you have discovered. If you have a blog post, please put the link in the comments!

What's for Dinner: Easy Crockpot Salsa Chicken

2013-04-24T21:55:00.001-04:00

Do you ever wonder sometimes why it seems like everything is much harder than it needs to be? Yesterday morning I made Noah an english muffin with peanut butter and honey on it. He came to the table and proceeded to have a phenomenal melt-down because the peanut butter had peanuts in it. This from a kid who can eat like half a jar of peanuts in about 10 minutes. I scraped the offending nuts off, but that was not good enough. I offered every other possible breakfast choice we had in our house, but he wanted none of it. I told him to go brush his teeth and he screamed at me, "But I'm hungry!"

Seriously...why does it have to be so hard?

Well, there are some things in life that are just easy. Sleeping late, eating chocolate cake, deciding whether or not you should have a coffee in the morning - so easy. Procrastinating, letting 10 minutes on Facebook turn into an hour, staying up past your bedtime - super easy!

You know what else is easy? This dinner. Seriously, SO EASY! (Sorry no pictures of actual food because it's hard to get good ones, but how about a picture of a crockpot...easy!)

Crockpot Salsa Chicken

(adapted from Not Your Mother's Slow Cooker Cookbook)

Ingredients:

1-2 lbs boneless chicken thighs (I use Wegmans organic)

1 16 oz jar salsa

optional:

lime, sour cream, cheese, avocado, tortillas

Put chicken in crockpot. Pour jar of salsa on top. Cook on high for 3-3.5 hours or low for 5-6 hours, just pick whichever is easiest!

Shred the chicken with a fork (it will just fall apart) and eat it however you want it - in a salad, in a burrito, in a bowl with some sour cream and avocado on top with a little squeeze of lime, in a tupperware for lunch tomorrow - you pick.

EASY!

The Non-Athlete's Guide to Becoming an Athlete

2013-04-24T08:52:00.000-04:00

If you were a swimmer in high school this post is not for you. If you ran cross country or played varsity soccer or were a member of any sports team you can move along. This post is for all of you out there whose "sport" might have been marching band. Maybe the closest you got to any teams was the Science Olympiad or the Math Team. This is for all of you where were proud to call yourself the captain of the chess club or the honor society, but have never, ever called yourself an athlete.

I was one of these people. I had half a season where I tried to run track in 9th grade. I think I did it because even back then I had a deep desire to just run. The coach put me in the mile and 2-mile race. At our first meet I PR-ed the mile and was still so far behind the other runners they had already started another race by the time I finished. When I twisted my ankle and decided to drop out for the rest of the season, I really think my coach breathed a deep sigh of relief. Growing up and even into college I identified myself as a lot of things: the smart kid, the band nerd, the honors student, the goody-two-shoes, but athlete was never one of them.

I ran my first 5K 9 years ago and after that my perspective started to change. I started racing triathlons and longer running races including a half-marathon the next summer and a local 10-miler that all the "real" runners do in Syracuse. All this time, though, I just considered myself a mommy who did a few races, but I did start to wonder if maybe I was an athlete too. Maybe I was a "real" runner and a "real" triathlete.

In September of 2008 I decided to do my first olympic distance tri. At the beginning of the training season I bought a RoadID and there is a spot on it where you can put a motto or a mantra. I thought a lot about what I would put there. What was it that I wanted to remind myself of? What would help me in those hard moments? For me, it was a phrase I wasn't quite sure I believed: "I am an athlete."

Everywhere I rode and ran that summer my wrist reminded me of something that my head and heart had not quite accepted just yet. I wanted to believe it. I wanted to feel it, but I just wasn't there yet. For me it was kind of like trying on clothes that I hadn't bought yet. I was wearing them, but I didn't own them yet.

During that olympic distance tri that fall, I wore my RoadID. Not because I was worried that someone would need to identify me if I fell over dead from the effort, but because I needed to remind myself yet again, that I was an athlete. During the run, I remember I looked down at my watch and realized I was going to finish well under my time goal and it was at that moment that I became an athlete in my heart. I actually started crying it was so moving to me (then I realized it's hard to run another 3 miles while you are crying, so I stopped.) I looked at my wrist and saw truth. I am an athlete.

Being an athlete is not about how fast you go or how much you train or how often you win. Being an athlete has nothing to do with how long of a triathlon you have completed or if you have done a marathon or an ultra. Being an athlete doesn't have anything to do with how big your watch is or how fancy your workout clothes are or what kind of bike you have.

Being an athlete is about what you believe about yourself in your heart. It is about the way you see your strength when you look in the mirror even though what you see is not perfect. It is about looking at that race photo and recognizing that even if you think look terrible, you are strong and beautiful and you are doing it!

I am an athlete.

Sometimes you have to try it on for a while before you really start to own it. I call all of the people I coach "my athletes." A lot of them identify with that, and some of them are still getting there. For those of us who didn't grow up as athletes, we have to practice at being an athlete for a while before you realize that you have been one all along!

I have a new RoadID these days, but it still reminds me daily of what I know: I am an athlete.

Instagram Pics of the Week

2013-04-23T22:16:00.000-04:00

The trees are finally starting to bud and I think all the trees look like they have halos of green or red or pink around them.

St. Paul's Cathedral in Syracuse, New York. My office for a couple of days last week while playing with Symphoria.

An amazing lunch in Jamestown, New York.

The rainy view from the cafe.

Crouse College at Syracuse University...can't believe this is where I work!!

Double Digits!

2013-04-22T22:30:00.000-04:00

On this day 10 years ago I became a mother to the a wonderful, quirky, smart, handsome, funny, interesting little man. Mothering my son has been the most wonderfully hard thing I have ever done. It has taught me more about myself and the world than all my years of education. It has opened my eyes to see people in a completely different light and to understand myself more than maybe I even wanted to! It has flipped my perspective upside down more than once and showed me over and over that expectations are nothing compared to reality.

Dear, Ryan,

Thank you for being you. Thank you for filling my heart with a love I never thought possible. Our first decade has been both the longest and shortest of my life, and I cannot wait to see what you will be like in another 10 years...well, maybe I can wait a little bit, buddy. Don't grow up too fast.

Love,

Mommy

thoughts

2013-04-21T21:57:00.001-04:00

I'm so tired.
How is it possible to feel powerful and weak at the same time?
Can I give them away?
Why can't I get anything done today.
I love Brahms.
A yo-yo, really? What's wrong with the yo-yo you bought YESTERDAY?
Why can't I get moving today?
Is it Monday yet?
Can I give them away?
I'm late! I'm late!
Okay, I'm not as late as I thought.
No parking...I'll be late.
Okay, I'm not late.
One day I will learn to not even wonder if I will be late.
Maybe.
Another blog post...is anyone even reading these?
No one will notice if I skip a day.
Can't skip a day.
It's so quiet in my house when my children are sleeping.
How is it possible to love someone so much even when they are driving you insane?
I guess I will keep them.
I'm pretty sure I couldn't give them away, anyway.
Mmmm...chocolate.
I wish I had an off switch for my head.
Today was a keeper.
The end.

Essential Tri-Training Equipment for Parents

2013-04-20T21:56:00.001-04:00

There are three things that I believe help me in my training as a trimommy more than anything else. As a working parent of two boys that are not old enough to be left at home by themselves the best training equipment saves me time. You won't find anything in this post about a heart rate monitor (although I use mine for every workout) or a fancy GPS watch (although I own one) or a power meter (although I would love to have one). My essentials are utilitarian pieces of equipment. They aren't fancy, but they get the job D.O.N.E.

Here in the snowy (yes, even in April...don't even get me started) northeast a trainer is a triathlete's best friend during the winter. But it is my number one piece of training equipment that I use YEAR-ROUND. A lot of times people will say to me, "I have some money saved up. Do you think I should get a heart rate monitor?" If they are parents I will say, "Do you have a trainer? If not, that is what you should spend your money on."

If I had the money I would probably get a Computrainer, but I bought this CycleOps fluid trainer used on Craigslist for $100 six years ago and it is still going strong. Even during the beautiful days of summer I don't always have the freedom to just hop on my bike and go. Many days you will see me on the trainer in my driveway or garage while my kids ride bikes in the cul-de-sac or play basketball in the driveway or cool off in the sprinkler. (Funny story: last year while I was on the trainer, Noah asked me why I wasn't wearing my helmet.) Quite frankly, I don't know how parents train without a trainer at home. Even though I don't always love being on the trainer, it is essential equipment for me.

My next most-used piece of equipment is my treadmill. I was fortunate enough to be able to buy this used gym-quality treadmill from a place I used to work for only $200. Kel and I both have gotten so much use out of it. Obviously in the winter it gets the most use, but again, like the trainer, it is just so easy to get a quick run in while I am at home by myself with the boys. Kel and I both feel pretty strongly that night-time running and running in bad weather is just not very safe, so this really keeps our options open. I will always choose an outdoor run option if that works, but if it doesn't I'm never stuck. I can always run in place at home!

Okay, I realize this is not a piece of training equipment, but I swear I'm just not sure what I would do without my crockpot!! I make one or two crockpot meals a week, which usually give us leftovers for another meal or two, and believe it or not, they are healthy and tasty! I don't know about your house, but that time right before dinner is always the craziest at my house, and I find if I am trying to cook the boys start bouncing off the walls and we all end up mad. I would much rather get homework done then go for a walk or play some basketball right before dinner. It works the best on nights the kids have activities between school and dinner. I just pop the meal in the crockpot in the morning and don't have to give it a second thought until 5 minutes before we sit down. The hardest thing for me about using the crockpot is just remembering that I need to get things going in the morning. Sometimes I will prep it in the removable crock part and keep that in the fridge over night so all I have to do in the morning is just put it in and turn it on. If I don't have time for that the night before, I will at least take the crockpot out and put it on my counter so I have a strong reminder in the morning about what I need to do.

So that's it! Obviously these aren't only for parents, but they are definitely essential for parents! I would love to hear what your most essential piece of equipment is!

My Heart Is Breaking

2013-04-19T14:14:00.004-04:00

I'm having a difficult time getting any work done today. Like everyone else, I have been absolutely riveted by what is going on in Boston right now.

I keep thinking about families that were probably woken up last night by the sounds of helicopters and sirens and gunshots. I am thinking of how Boston parents could have possible explained why their kids can't go to school or go outside today. What do you say to a six-year old when the swat team comes knocking at your door? How do you explain to your 10-year old that there are people who hate us just because of where we live? How do we protect our children and at the same time teach them, especially if we can't even begin to understand it?

I am not in Boston and I don't pretend to know what this must be like, but I can't help but take all of this personally. It is not happening to me, but I feel like it is. I am anxious and worried about my friends and family that live in the Boston area. I am angry that evil people have the power to make me feel this way. I am saddened that I probably won't ever be the same again. My kids are growing up in a country that doesn't feel as free as it did when I was a kid and there is nothing I can do about it.

No, I will not live in fear, but my heart is breaking that I have to be realistic about the changes I see in the world. I can't say it won't happen to me because I don't know that to be true anymore.

Peace

2013-04-18T22:25:00.000-04:00

Today I went for a run in a huge old cemetery in the town I am staying in for a concert. The whole time I was there I just had this feeling of deep peace and of knowing that I am protected and loved.

I am so thankful I took the time for this run and so thankful I can run.

Around the Web

2013-04-17T21:29:00.001-04:00

Here are just a few things that have caught my eye around the web lately.

1. Check out these amazing women that are racing across America this summer. Can you believe I have friends that do stuff like this? Neither can I.
2. I can't even wrap my head around this. It's like all my favorite things in a COOKIE!!
3. I was totally inspired by this video. Worth the time if you have it.
4. Speaking of inspiring and amazing, here is another great story of people coming together in sport for good.
5. There have been a series of posts on Mark's Daily Apple about health integrity that I have really been loving. It's real talk that we all need to hear.
6. This website makes me smile. We all need more of that.
7. Speaking of smiling...

Use Your Words

2013-04-16T17:54:00.000-04:00

This morning Noah decided he didn't want to take yogurt for lunch anymore because some had leaked in his lunch pail. I washed it out and then gave it back to him to fill up. When he said he didn't want a yogurt (which, in addition to a Larabar is pretty much all he usually eats for lunch) he started to put the lunch in his backpack, so I took a quick peek only to find a chocolate-covered Powerbar in there.

Now don't get me wrong, I love Powerbars and there is a reason we have them in our house. The boys both know Powerbars are food for exercising. They are not for casual eating. Well, Noah was none to happy about me telling him a Powerbar was not a healthy lunch and proceeded to have a melt-down right in the middle of the kitchen. You know the lay-on-the floor-and-cry-until-mommy-almost-loses-it kind of melt-down. (It was at precisely this moment that I wished I had just let him have it.)

I have noticed with my beloved son that part of the problem is that he is having trouble putting how he feels into words, and I have been working on trying to help him get better at this. I find myself saying things like "Use your words" and "I can help you if you tell me what is wrong, but I can't if you just cry."

All of this talk of using words, though, has really gotten me thinking about words in general and how we use them. Maybe it is just me, but I find words to be very powerful. In my #project30days morning reflections I include a Bible verse and a quote, and I am constantly amazed at the power a few simple words have to motivate me, to inspire me, to lift me up, to help me understand things and more. The Bible says "death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Proverbs 18:21). I think this is very interesting.

We can build up with our words, yet we can also tear down. How often do you say to yourself something like this: "Ugh. I'm so stupid" or "I'm so fat" or "I'm so slow" or "Why is everything so hard?" or "I will never be/do ____________." If we are constantly streaming words over ourselves that tear ourselves down, what will that do? We start believing them and start acting on them.

Likewise, if we wash ourselves in a waterfall of positive words we begin to embrace those. Instead of "I'm so stupid," I can say "I am so smart. I'm surprised that got by me!" Instead of "I'm fat," I can say "I am working hard on being healthy every day." Instead of "I'm slow," I can say "I am a runner." Instead of "I will never be or do," I can say "I am."

The other part of this is about what the people around you say. Do you surround yourself with positive people or do you find yourself in the group trying to see who has it worse in life? The amazing thing about positivity is that it is infectious! Unfortunately the same is true of negativity. You can choose which camp you will be in.

If you are serious about creating a life that is fulfilling and positive, I have some advice for you.

Use your words and use them well.

Never Take It For Granted

2013-04-15T18:03:00.003-04:00

I walk out my door every single day and take it for granted that I am safe, that my children are safe, and my husband is safe. I drive my car to stores and don't give a second thought to walking inside. I sit in a coffee shop with my latte and my computer thinking I have so much work to do and wondering how it's going to get done, but never do I consider the window might burst in at any moment. I go to races to cheer and to run and to have a good time and don't even consider the remote possibility that someone could take it all away from me in an instant.

I will never understand why anyone could have such disregard for human life that they would purposely aim to kill people. I will never be able to wrap my head around how dead a person's spirit must be that they could press a button knowing the outcome of a single push of their finger.

What I do know is that we cannot take anything for granted. Every day, every smile, every hug, every tear, each minute whether it be hard or easy, is a gift. I will live a life of gratitude for the gift I have been given and never take for granted that it can be taken away in an instant.

My heart and prayers are in Boston tonight. May God grant us all peace and comfort during this time.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~Phillipians 4:7

Is it Triathlon Season Yet?

2013-04-14T08:30:00.000-04:00

It is April 14. Last year by this time I had ridden hundreds of miles outside already. This year I have ridden exactly 0 miles outside so far.

The weather here has been absolutely dismal. Rainy, snowy, cold and gray. I'm not usually one to complain about the weather because complaining generally doesn't help the bad weather go away, but I am so ready to ride outside!!

Despite the fact that the Syracuse weather is NOT cooperating, triathlon season is here! I have been building up my base over the winter and working hard to shed the winter layer! I'm down to a bit below my pre-Cedar Point weight from last year, which makes me very happy. I still have a bit to go, but the progress is nice.

I have been spending a ton of time on the trainer and am just itching to get outside. Some people in these parts have already done it, but I really don't like to ride when it is below 50 and windy, so I haven't made it out yet. Hopefully this week. If anything, all this trainer time is making me mentally tough. Fingers crossed that the results will shine through on the road.

If you've taken a look at my race schedule, you know that I have Rev3Quassy HalfRev coming up in about 6 weeks. I have started to think about all those hills, and yesterday ran the training run for the Mountain Goat Run, which is a local hilly 10 miler. I felt great, although was slow, but I felt great!! I have done the HalfRev at Quassy twice, the first time as a relay where I swam and ran, and the second time all on my own. It is by far the hardest half I have ever done, and I really want to PR this race this year! That is a tall order, but I say go big or go home.

I have been swimming strong. My new mantra while I swim hard is "Relaxed and strong." I find when I try to swim fast, I actually don't go that much faster, but when I swim strong I go faster with less effort! Wow, the things we find out about ourselves when we actually think about what we are doing!! I am doing a lot of hard intervals trying to get my top end speed up a little. This is the kind of stuff where every second I eke out is a victory. Hard? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely.

In July, I'll be headed to Musselman again, which is a great local half. Kel is racing too, which is always fun for both of us! Will this be the year I finally go under six hours? I have been chipping away at my PR every year, and last year I ran 6:01 with a fantastic thunderstorm for about 45 minutes of the bike.

And in September I'm headed back to Rev3 Cedar Point for another FullRev. Yep, I'm doing 140.6 miles again. It was just so fun last year I have to!!

Will I be seeing any of you at Rev3 events this year?

365 Moments: 54-62

2013-04-13T20:28:00.000-04:00

54.

Watching Noah and his friend dance to Thrift Shop. Every time they saw me watching, they would stop and try to act all cool.

55.

Dying Easter eggs.

56.

During spring break week I am headed to the pool at 7:15 p.m. and I realize I am giddy at the thought of being alone for a couple of hours.

57.

Sitting quietly with Kel by the fire on an early Saturday morning before the boys were up. An unplanned benefit of #project30days.

58.

Building a birdhouse with Noah.

59.

I saw a shooting star.

60.

Watching Noah ride his bike down a hill at top speed and yell with joy.

61.

Hearing the birds sing as I woke up.

62.

Noah started karate and had to try his gi on as soon as he got home. (He wouldn't let me take a picture.)