Reflections by Roni

Suspended

2013-04-09T23:24:00.000-04:00

Due to a very serious security breach, I regret to inform you that my blog (and all other online activity) is now suspended until further notice. If you are part of my personal life, Jim and I will be in contact with you.

Leaning In...

2013-04-08T14:36:00.001-04:00

This weekend, as I spent some time alone on these rocks, I thought of Jettie's latest post and of all the precious faces behind this story. I think it would be very good for you to remember them too. It only takes a few minutes of our day to do that.

Tyler's Family

It is in times like these, that I am reminded of just how important, reaching out in support of one another truly is. This family is leaning on God, on each other, and on us right now. As a human race, I think of us all as a strong , healthy body. Some are the brains, some are the eyes, some are the hands, some are the heart...and so on. Each has a specific purpose, and without that part, the whole body suffers.

We might not understand why for a little while...

But when it's hard to worship, we surrender

and trust in who You are.

Especially when it is hardest.

Remind us.

Shine On Tyler

He will never forsake you... nor will we.

Tyler traveled with Dana Moyer to the Helena reservoir to watch the sun set and to see the ice beginning to melt in preparation for a beautiful spring here in Montana.

"Tyler, I hope with my whole heart that this photo helps bring a smile to your face and a little joy to your heart. Hugs and kisses from Helena, Montana." ~Dana
******

Tyler at the foot of the Space Needle in downtown Seattle Washington, with Shawn Highfill. It is 605 feet tall,built for the 1962 World's Fair, and has a rotating restaurant at the top. The view fom the top is breathtaking. You can see Elliot Bay, the Olympic mountain range, Queen Anne hill, Mt Ranier, Safeco Quest Fields, and watch the ferries arrive and depart.
******

Tyler with Shaun White's family at Maleny looking over The Glass House Mountains.

The girls are hiding but we did have a little fun.

Davin & Dane with Tyler looking over The Glass House Mountains

Dane and his two hospital puppies with Tyler

******

Tyler visiting an active volcano on the Big Island of Hawaii with Charles Payet

Practicing Positive Emotion

2013-04-03T09:05:00.001-04:00

Click on Image to Enlarge

By nature, I am a pretty serious person. But my life has been blessed by several friends who balance that out nicely and I really love being around them. I am so grateful for their spirit. Angelika Perry, I feel very certain that Tyler would love you, and would welcome the chance to spend a day in your light hearted company. You remind me of a quote by Thich Nhat Hanh...“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”

You are all heroes to me.

Shine On Tyler!!

Roni,
After reading your post, I was thinking about Tyler the entire weekend and made it my best to get the most out of it; catch some sun rays and experience life so I might share it with him. Because you have given me the task to make him laugh or at least smile I figured I would turn our adventure of the day into a comic page!

I chose the hero theme because any child that has to endure so much and has to battle so fiercely for his life, is a true hero in my book. I will keep Tyler and his family in my thoughts and prayers and hope that, at least for a moment my humble efforts bring a smile to their faces.

Thanks,
Angie

Consider This...

Solitary Journey

2013-04-02T13:42:00.000-04:00

There is a photograph that hangs on the wall in my little cottage on the beautiful shores of Lake Ontario. I happened to be sitting alone one day on an old picnic bench at my favorite beach, looking out over the water when a lone man walked into the path of light made by the setting sun on the lake.... with a walking stick. He was as deep in thought as I was, and I remember wondering what he was thinking, finding it a great comfort that someone was with me in my solitude. He looked up at me at one point, and nodded slightly. I am pretty sure he felt the same way I did, that day.

There is a deep need in mankind to be a part of something greater than ourselves. I believe we are wired that way, and so... as your stories and photographs for Tyler come in, I continue to be grateful, and I know his family does too. May I never lose sight of how deep the water they are treading is, though, and be forever sensitive and respectful to that. It is a difficult journey they are on, and for Tyler.. in many ways, it is a very solitary and painful one.

I remain ever watchful, full of prayer and hope... and I thank you all so much for taking the time to let this family know they are not alone in their suffering. I have spoken to each of these beautiful souls personally, and I know, they've all made an effort to visit a place that is meaningful to them, while you remain close in their thoughts. Shine On Tyler!

Kara Chickering was thinking of you in Maryland at lovely Chesapeake Bay on her own personal adventure! It was a rare weekday off of work on Monday, and she drove to the Maryland eastern shore with her camera so you could experience a sunrise over the Chesapeake Bay together.

Todd Maeda took thoughts of you up high enough on a gorgeous clear day to see all the way out to Diamond Head Crater across the Honolulu skyline. It's been awhile since he's been up there, and he is very grateful to have shared it with you.

Fred Wolfe took you in search of wildflowers but the lingering winter weather has kept them under ground. So you settled for visiting a nice mountain stream of waterfalls and cascades. Afterward, he took you train watching and had a great time. It was Easter Sunday but you got back in plenty of time for dinner.

Lynda Cochrane took you to a favorite place...a family place, somewhat off the beaten track. It is a restful and wonderful area where she takes her kids camping... the kangaroos and goanna's come to their campsite and visit morning and night and there is a beach that goes for as far as you can see. You were chasing rainbows...

So you see... dearest Tyler - you are changing us too. Your courage and strength makes us realize each new day, that we have that same capacity within us... always.

Hope

2013-04-01T08:19:00.003-04:00

Last night, I got a note from Tyler's dad and step mom. I had to share it with you, because I am not alone in this. YOU are all making a difference. And you can continue to do so. Tim and Kira... I don't know how to thank you for taking the time to tell us. I believe in miracles and I'm still praying...

Roni- this is Tyler's dad, Tim and step mom, Kira...We just want to thank you for taking time to share Tyler's story! We are so overwhelmed by the kind hearts of so many people. It means so much to us that so many people have taken time out of their lives to take these photos, send kind words and prayers, and share our story with others. In times like these it is easy for one to get angry and question why, but the support we have received from people like you and those around the world who have been touched by Tyler's story has restored our faith and strengthened Tyler's resolve to get through this. There is no way we will ever be able to properly thank you and all those following Tyler's story, but know we are all so grateful for everything everyone has done for us. All these flat Tyler pictures, cards that have been sent to the hospital, thoughts and prayers, and people out there sharing his story, like yourself, have really changed his outlook on everything. Just a few months ago he was a broken and angry young man ready to throw in the towel, he was truly in a dark place, and now if you could only see him light up when he sees these photos and reads the words of support and encouragement. He has an entirely different outlook and swears that if he has to go, he wants to go out swinging and is going to fight with all he has to the very end. This new Tyler is all because of you and all those before mentioned and that is the biggest reason I am forever grateful to you all. So bless all of you and we all hope none of you ever have to face a battle like ours. If any of you do or are fighting now, know that Tyler and all of us are in your corner, and that all of you who have been in ours, will forever be in our hearts.

~ A Story ~

A man was walking along a deserted beach at sunset. As he walked he could see a young boy in the distance and as he drew nearer he noticed that the boy kept bending down, picking something up and throwing it into the water. Time and again he kept hurling things into the ocean. As the man approached even closer, he was able to see that the boy was picking up starfish that had been washed up on the beach and, one at a time, he was throwing them back into the water. The man asked the boy what he was doing and the boy replied, "I am throwing these washed up starfish back into the ocean, or they will die if left alone in the sun. "But", said the man, "You can't possibly save them all. There are thousands on this beach, and this must be happening on hundreds of beaches along the coast. You can't possibly make a difference." The boy smiled, bent down and picked up another starfish, and as he threw it back into the sea, he replied,

"But I made a difference to that one."

Shine On Tyler

An Ocean of Compassion From Here To Eternity

2013-03-31T18:24:00.001-04:00

Tyler, What you have reminded us all, is how precious our time on earth is. How important it is to love each other and to be good to each other, in happy times... and in sad. To take the time to say I love you. To go to places that matter to us, whether they are down the street or across the world - not tomorrow, but... today. To fight courageously as hard as we can, never giving up hope. To have faith, above all things. To live. For all its troubles, for all its difficulty, and for all its complicated emotion, each day is a gift of faith, hope, and love... but the greatest of these is love. And so we offer that to you, humbly and with sincerest gratefulness today. We carry you with us in our hearts, to the places we love, now, and always. Aloha nui loa, dear one. Roni

On an African safari with Gail Beerman

On a sailing ship in Makena Cove on Maui with Lynn Hughes

Kicking back with BD and Wayne Kobayashi under the Hawaiian sun. Shaka!!

To Hudson Fire Headquarters in Massachusetts with Frankie and Rob O'Hare to remember the heroes of 9/11

To Canada, to play hockey with the Matteazzis who absolutely love the Bruins.:)

(A note from Guy, "What could be more Canadian than playing hockey? With that in mind, Tyler joined us in a good old-fashioned road hockey game. The kid was amazing. In fact, the boys voted him not only First Star of the Game…but also Second Star and Third Star. Apparently that only happened once in the NHL…with Maurice “The Rocket” Richard. You’re in good company my friend.)" ;-)

To Eric, Sean and Jimmy Delmonico's favorite ice cream place to savor a mountain of chocolate ice cream. (a pretty good substitute for a Sonic Slushie we hope, since we don't have a Sonic in New York!)

To Eternity Beach with Janet on the island of Oahu ~ The Gathering Place

To hang with "dA Crazies" on one of their Saturday morning sunrise shoots

(A note from Janet - Tyler was with a group of us today, when we went to shoot sunrise at a place called Eternity Beach on the island of Oahu. This is also the place where several movies and tv shows have been filmed - "From Here To Eternity, "Pirates of the Caribbean", and several episodes of LOST. Thanks to my friend, Darren, Tyler had the use of a wetsuit and one of the newest types of surfboards to hit the market. Please know our thoughts, hearts and prayers are with you and Tyler as you travel down the path from here to eternity.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. ~ Psalm 34:18

Shine On Tyler

Letter To Michelle...

2013-03-30T15:10:00.001-04:00

All I can say to you is this... I don't understand either, but we hold fast to our faith that there is ONE who does. So, on this eve of Easter.. it is at His throne I kneel... for you and for your son. You are not alone.

Shine On Tyler!

2013-03-28T19:54:00.000-04:00

Last night, something came across my desk, that I simply could not ignore. It is the story of an 18 year old boy named Tyler and his ever vigilant family... most notably, his mom, Michelle, his aunt Nicole, and his "aunt" Jettie who is the voice of Tyler's Blog. As the mother of an 18 year old son myself, I was struck by the impact of their story immediately. This one is going to be a long post but please stay with me. If ever there was a need for light.. this is it. Such a simple thing they are asking.

When I first heard about it, I thought it was so sad and in an already very emotional week, I was not sure I could handle one more heartache. But I also could not ignore my friend Heather's request, to please take a look at this story, and see if there was any way The Light Project might get involved. I went back to the very beginning and I read every single word of Tyler's blog. What I found there, was a family who has stood courageous throughout six months of wretched darkness. A family who is refusing to give up, continuing to pray with hearts full of hope for Tyler's healing. He was diagnosed on September 24, 2012 with a rare form of cancer and the roller coaster ride they've been on ever since, is astonishing. When I was finished... I knew in my heart that I was going to get involved and I was going to bring as many of you with me, as I possibly can. I'm going to create a list and I'm going to fill it with some of my friends on Google+ Flickr, and Facebook specifically - one for every day in the month of April, asking for only one photograph from each person. In an effort to keep Tyler's spirits up, his Aunt Nicole came up with a new idea to brighten his spirits. She created a Flat Tyler that we can all participate in. Rather than do this by myself, I'm going to reach out to a bunch of you with a very specific request for each of you, based on something that is meaningful between us. My hope is that you'll take one photograph of your adventure with Flat Tyler based on my request and share it with The Light Project. I will forward them to his family as they come in. I recognize that your time is valuable but their timeframe is short and I'm hoping you'll see the value in taking some of ours, together... to spread a little light to Tyler and his family, during a very difficult time in their lives.

You can find all the info you need by reading THIS POST. I've chosen a few excerpts from their blog to help you get to know this family a bit better. At the very end of this post, will be the list of people I am specifically asking to participate and how, but that, by no means excludes anyone else from sharing their light with Tyler and with The Light Project. Here on Reflections by Roni, for the entire month of April, all I will post are your photographs each day. By April 30th, I hope Tyler will have been to at least 30 different places, with 30 (or many more) of my loved ones. Shine on, Tyler!!! You're in our hearts, our thoughts and our prayers!

To send Tyler a card:
Mott Children's Hospital
Patient: Tyler Kurkierewicz
Floor 7, Room 32
1500 East Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor, Michigan 48109

It is extremely important that you include the patient’s exact room number and unit in the mailing address to ensure the mail gets to the right place. Also, please write "patient" in the lower left-hand corner to facilitate quick delivery of your letter or card.

To make a donation click here.

Excerpts from Tyler's Blog:

Since a lot of you are following this blog and have never met him, I thought I would share a little story that shows you a bit of who Tyler is. He has never been a chit chatter. He's the quiet type. When he talks, it's usually straight and to the point. In his suffering, this has become much more evident.

Yesterday, the psychiatrist came in to talk with Tyler. Of course, he wasn't talking. She asked him to name 3 things he likes to do. He replied with, "Really?" as he looked himself over in his hospital bed. So, she told him if he named 3 things that he loved, she would leave his room. He said, "I'll give you one." She agreed.

He sat there for about 15 minutes, silent. She was probably growing impatient, but if you know this kid, this is no surprise. Finally, he said very matter of fact, "I love my mom." She asked for 2 more things and he said, "I told you I would give you one." And with that, she left him alone.

*******

Last week, Tyler's phone was getting texts from some of his friends. So I opened it up and started replying to his friends and giving them the blog to follow for status. As I was doing that, I ran across a text he sent to one of his buddies on the 4th (a few hours before his stomach perforated) and he said, "I'm just fighting for tomorrow...to see the next day". I say, "fight on Tyler!" and we will continue to hold you up in prayer!

*****

Knowing we have a few more weeks or even months ahead, I'm encouraged by what Romans 12 says about love. I think our family has shown much of this to one another these last few weeks:

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

We will continue to be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer for Tyler. Thank you for joining us in these prayers!

******

Our tears of joy at his progress often turn into tears of sympathy as we watch him struggle with the reality of what is going on. He is no longer sedated, but still on heavy pain medications. So, he is often asking what is happening and why he is there. Michelle is super amazing at answering those questions for him. Last week, he asked if he had been shot as he pointed at his stomach in confusion. It's a tough time for him to process all of what is going on. He also gets annoyed that everyone keeps telling him how good he looks. So, I explained to him that a few weeks ago we didn't know if he was going to make it and seeing him this way is so exciting to us and to his doctors and nurses. He asked me if I had taken a picture of him so he could see what everyone was talking about. I told him that I hadn't but that the blog would be a really good picture of what he was going through. When Michelle thinks he's ready to handle it, she told him they would read the blog together.

****

Tyler was in surgery again for most of the day yesterday. If my count is correct, I think that makes 10 surgeries now. Yesterday they did another biopsy of the tumor and pulled his stomach a little closer together. Hopefully the biopsy will give them the info they need to come up with a plan for the cancer.

*****

The biopsy this week was really painful and took a lot out of Tyler. We still haven't been presented with a plan for the cancer yet. You know, we've been told that a case like Tyler's is only seen once every 5 years. It's a really rare tumor. Please pray for wisdom for these doctors.

****

and finally...

THURSDAY, MARCH 7, 2013

Inoperable

Inoperable. Nothing left that the doctors can do.

Yesterday's news was not what we wanted to hear. The kind of news that takes the last drop of hope and washes it clean away. A word that is really hard to accept. I think because accepting feels like giving up...and that's not something any of us are willing to do.

The surgical team came today to talk with Tyler and Michelle and confirm the news. 25 doctors looked at this case...no one will touch it. The only glimmer of hope they offered was to put him on the list to be a candidate for a full abdominal transplant. Sounds crazy and impossible to me. But to Tyler, this word offered back the hope he needed to get out of bed today and go down to physical therapy. If he's going to be a candidate, then he's gotta be strong, he said.

I love this kid! I love him with all my heart. I watched him pedal that bike this afternoon and try to stay awake and try to stay strong. I watched him wear himself out, but still walk over to his wheel chair instead of having it brought to him.

Never Ever Give Up, buddy. Never ever!!

******

Adventures For Tyler

Here is where I'd like you to take Tyler, my friends. If anyone has more ideas, please contact me and I will happily add you to the list. If you absolutely cannot do this, let me know and I'll take you off the list. Thank you all so much for shining your light into my life!

Da Crazies - Eternity Beach (Janet, could you print Flat Tyler and decorate him before Sat?)
Dana Moyer - To one of your beautiful Montana Sunsets
Lynn Hughes - A Bike ride in Colorado
Peter Schmidt - The cockpit of any one of your commuter jets at Hanscom AFB
Jimmy Delmonico - A college dorm room in upstate New York
Freddy Wolfe - Chasing Trains and soaking up Jacob Joy
Heather Webb - Snuggling with a baby in Utah
Jamie Leeburg - A high school sports game
Donna Parker - A school cafeteria
Todd Maeda - Looking out over Honolulu
Nikki J. Gritti - Just give him to Chris and Connor for an afternoon and see what happens.;-)
Rob and Frankie O'Hare - A fire station in Massachusetts
Trevor O'Hare - A Marine base
Natalie Washington - Watching an episode of SMASH
Jerome Mansinon Jr. - On a Motorcycle
Donna Delmonico - To a high school English class
Gabi Delmonico - On a date with a bunch of girls:)
Charles Payet - To see some lava
Kathy Porupski - To a Farm in Florida
Scott and Kalebra Kelby - To Photoshop World in Orlando
Jason Pointer - To see the Nashville skyline
Lynda Cochrane - A beach in Australia
Randy Jay Braun - Kayaking with a whale on Maui
Steve Kalman - Gettysburg!
Nicolas Boivin - a kitchen in Quebec
Greg Mahoney - Sunset on Laguna Beach
Lexy Page - On the set of Once Upon a Time
Ruhil Austen - Inverted? Ok maybe not. Straight and level!!:)
Guy Matteazzi - A birthday dinner in Toronto
Jason Joseph - Katz Diner in New York City for a corned beef sandwich
Brian Mitchell - On a Top Secret Mission
Janet Clark - To a Hula lesson
Jim and Roni - A Lake House and I hope, with some help, a special place on Maui
Gilmar Smith and William Beem - To Disneyworld!
Ron and Lidian Mansinon - Out for a Jack'n the Box Taco :) (to that park bench we went)
Onnie Hull - To visit with the Pelicans
Lilly Calandrello - Somewhere healing...
Barb Cochran - The cockpit of a jet (possible?)
Angelika Perry - I don't care where.. as long as you make him laugh!:)
Carolyn Fahm - To a Rhode Island harbor.. to see some boats.
Eric and Sean Delmonico - Coldstone Creamery (Tyler likes ice cream!)
Gene Bowker - ON a train?
Shaun White - To the Glass House Mountains:)
Coconut Glen and Sharon Mau - I hope you hear me...
The Panos Family - A spring break adventure

Right click and print. Give him some clothes and take him on an adventure!

I Just Ate My Willpower

2013-03-27T17:56:00.002-04:00

Oh yes... when it comes to Upcountry Maui and particularly the road to Hana, the joy is definitely in the journey. I loved this little place and I think it's so cool that Glen left it all behind to live his dream. You know.. I really think I might be a closet hippie. Coconut Glen's was a favorite stop on that journey and although I could tell you why in words.. I think it might be far better to do that in pictures. I'll let you read his fabulous story and discover what makes him so awesome via his own words:

Coconut Glen's Story

And one last one... it's not from Coconut Glen's... but still from the road to Hana. I love how it represents just what that day was like for me. :) The joy of MY journey, will always be in the fruit of its smallest details.

All my best memories of Maui live in her sighs.

An Uncommon Kindness

2013-03-25T09:05:00.000-04:00

Last night, I couldn't sleep. I lay for a long time, hearing the sound of waves in my head and longing for a place it is not possible for me to be right now. After awhile, I got up and pulled an image (taken by my friend Reid Fujita) up on the computer. Once in awhile, a photograph calls to me in a different way from most. I end up spending a lot more time on those images. I liken it to a kind of music... but it is a difficult feeling to describe. The longer I worked on it, the more I could hear it. But it wasn't until I finished it, around 5 am this morning, that I saw a face in the crest of that wave. It immediately brought to mind a story of Hawaii. A story I am sure many of you have never heard. A story about one man; a selfless man who cared for a forgotten Hawaiian people in a way most in his time... never did. His work was carried on after his death, by a nun from Syracuse, New York named Mother Marianne. That connection is not lost on me. It gave Father Damien great comfort and allowed him to let go of this earth, knowing the people he had come to love, would continue to be loved and cared for by her and would never be forgotten. This is his story, and my own artistic tribute to someone I admire with everything in me. It is also my way of thanking Reid for allowing me to combine my creative vision, with his. When I return to Hawaii next year... I want to visit Molokai and kneel at the gravesite of this remarkable man. He always said, "Praise God, not me." There is no place on this earth where I feel more able to do that... than on the islands of Hawaii. I do believe it was the same for this man and it is his face I see in Reid's wave.

Ghandi: "The political and journalistic world can boast of very few heroes who compare to Father Damien of Molokai. It is worthwhile to look for the source of such heroism."

Franklin D. Roosevelt: "As a small boy I remember the forceful lesson which was brought to all by the death of this saintly man. This lesson of self denial taught by Father Damien will never grow old."

Mother Teresa: "Love... to be true, must empty us of selfishness. This is what Father Damien understood so well and what he lived.. every day."

Both of these images will now hang in a tiny cottage on the shores of Lake Ontario, as a reminder to me of the rich history of a people and a place, six thousand miles away from me... but ever present in my heart.

Behind Every American Soldier

2013-03-24T14:21:00.000-04:00

An American Soldier

Behind every American soldier... is his mother. She was there when he took his first breath, she held him when he cried, wiped the gravel out of his skinned knees, fed, clothed and entertained him, put up with his boyhood antics, stopped herself just shy of strangling him at times and stood by him when the rest of the world had already moved on to the next thing. She's been my friend for twenty three years and we know each other maybe better than anyone else in our lives. I held this boy when he was just moments old. He and my son have spent their entire lives together and consider themselves brothers. I consider him to be the friend who sticks closer than a brother.

We were flopped on the couch in her living room one day when she decided she was on a quest ~ a quest to turn me into a country music lover. I thought that was rather hilarious and I humored her, thinking to myself... yeah, fat chance sistah.:) Then she introduced me to Toby Keith. Rats! Now, I AM a country music lover thanks to her! This song was meaningful then. How much more so now?

She is married to a Marine and now she is mother to one as well. She knows the cost of freedom because she is paying for it with part of her own heart. When her story came in for the The Light Project I was reminded of a breakfast we shared together recently, when her husband described what it is like to let go of your child, to the United States Military. It requires a certain strength that many of us do not possess... but his mother does. And I am so proud of her. This is her story.. her light.

Mother and son say goodbye.

Rob took this picture of Trevor in Boston on Sept. 10th 2012... the day we dropped our son off at the recruiters office in Framingham to leave for boot camp. We drove into Boston to spend one last day together as a family. We went for a walk through the city and we stopped right by the Boston Tea Party Boat to take a photo of a small pirate ship when he snuck this photo of Trevor in deep thought.

I remember thinking... I just wish I knew what was going through his mind at that moment. He was on such an emotional rollercoaster that day ~ nervous, scared, sad, happy, confused. He wanted to go but yet didn’t. It was so hard to see him like that, knowing there was nothing I could do or say to make those feelings go away! I knew that the Marine Corps was going to be a great experience for him but telling him that at THAT time would have been useless. He needed to go and see for himself, not just who he was, but who he could become on his own. That was the hardest day of my life but I am so proud of my son.

We all are, Trevor.

Brothers

Found in Kaneohe...

2013-03-23T10:05:00.000-04:00

Photo © Chris Kodama

I recently began watching a show on the Fox network called Touch. The premise of the show is that there is a universal pattern to our connection to each other. While the show is someone's beautifully imaginative idea of how that works, the older I get, the more I believe that premise to be true.

The title photograph above, isn't mine but I know the photographer will forgive me for borrrowing it by the time I am done. Because, you see... this is my way of letting him know, that so many of the connections in my life today, began with him and I will be forever grateful to him for it.

When I first started blogging, I learned that the best way to operate, was by interacting with other bloggers. I set out in search of those who were writing about things that interested me, and I started with blogs about Hawaii. When I found Lost in Kaneohe, I found a kindred spirit in its author, Chris Kodama. The funny thing is... it wasn't even posts about Hawaii that drew me in. It was posts about his quest for creative vision. His thoughts and his words resonated, and they still do.

Chris Kodama

Oh people... I wish I knew how to convey to you how much what you send out here matters. How the energy you blog about, or share on social media; the honesty, the struggle, the joy of living, your life experiences, your own unique perspectives, your heartaches and trials... touch others - touch me. Chris, if it weren't for you, I would not have met Todd. If I hadn't met Todd, I would not know Janet. If I had never met Janet, I would never have stood on the deck of the Hokule'a, or held the hand of one of the best friends I've ever known on the summit of Haleakala and I would not have been standing side by side with Kenway, photographing a sea turtle in the most beautiful light just hours later. What a gorgeous way to spend the last light of my birthday!

Jan and I on deck of the beautiful Hokule'a

Haleakala Summit

Kenway

My Crush:) Honu

Jan and Me

Without you, Chris... Reid's beautiful wave photo wouldn't be hanging in a little lakeside cottage in New York and I wouldn't have a new Black Rapid Strap on my camera because of Fooj. I wouldn't have experienced the immediately sincere warmth that is Wayne, nor would I have been witness to the quiet kindness of Erin and the sense of humor and strength, that is Stacey. Without a doubt, being with dA Crazies on the shores of this beach at sunrise on Saturday morning, March 2, 2013, continuing the celebration of my 47th year of life ... would never have happened, if it weren't for my connection to you.

dA Crazies (and yes.. I am one!) Chris, Wayne, Jan, Roni, Erin, Stacey, Fooj, Reid

The next time you think you don't have an impact.. that no one hears you, or even notices you are there, think again. I've come to really understand, just how quickly life slips away from us, without us ever telling others the impact they have had on our lives. If we don't do that when we think of it, we may never have the chance to do it... at all. We lingered at Cinnamon's, didn't we? ... willing our time to last longer. I'm so glad you were right next to me, Chris and I hope the memory of it brings you as much of a smile as it brings me. You have a way bigger impact than you realize.

Later that evening, I had the opportunity to meet some of da Crazies who couldn't make our sunrise shoot.:) Thanks to Wayne... we have a memorable image from that experience too. I finally got to have a face to face conversation with Todd and meet Nikki and Chris Gritti and their son Connor. More joy, in an already light filled day. If you can be in the same room with Chris for an hour and not burst out laughing.. then you simply don't have a pulse.;-)

Wayne Kobayashi

Dad, Todd, Roni, Nikki, Chris, Connor, Reid, Janet, Erin, Mrs, Kobayashi, and Stacey

So what has opening up your heart and sharing your thoughts online, openly and without reservation gotten you, Chris? All this, and then some. Is it worth it? Oh yeah... you better believe it is. Look at this amazing journey. It started with you and Lost in Kaneohe. But personally, I think it should read...

FOUND.

Just Another Ordinary Miracle Today

2013-03-22T00:02:00.000-04:00

A note from Roni: A friend of mine asked me today, "What is this Light Project and why do you do it?" My response is very simple. I do it because we are all...every one of us, on a journey. Because most of the time it's an ordinary road, surrounded by ordinary people, living ordinary lives and we often pass each other right on by without feeling grateful that we've touched. And because I flat out refuse to stand down to that darkness.

Your Stories matter... and as long as you keep telling them, I will keep posting them.

I had no way of knowing, just how much what I asked of you for this month, would come to matter to me. Come, talk story. Tell me about your best birthday ever. Tell me what makes you glad to be alive.... The answers are coming in, full of the extraordinary light and life of "ordinary" people. Don't ever make the mistake of believing your journey does not have an impact on another. It does... and it will.

*******

What was your best birthday ever? What is it that makes you glad you were born? These are questions Roni is asking this month for her Light Project. I was born on December 11. Two weeks exactly before Christmas. My mom did not want my birthday to be overshadowed by Christmas so she instituted a house rule: The Christmas Tree did not go up until after my birthday. This rule was null and void if we were traveling from LA to Colorado for the holidays.Traveling to Colorado for Christmas was always wonderful. My grandma would make me my favorite cake for my birthday, angel food cake with strawberry icing. It was the only time I would get that cake. In these years, only my mom and I would go Christmas Tree shopping. Our mission: to find a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. We would look for the sorriest, saddest looking tree possible, take it home and love it while we could. It was my mom's way of keeping my birthday special. It worked.

I have been stumped by the "best birthday ever" question. That one is difficult to quantify. When I turned thirteen, my mom and her best friend borrowed the youth pastor's van. It had a loudspeaker in it. They piled my friends and I in the van and we drove around town singing Christmas Carols over the loudspeaker. Later we went to the movies and saw Snow White. As an adult, I have had some memorable birthdays. Two in particular stand out. I spent one birthday sitting in the ER by the side of an individual who was incredibly sick and came close to dying. Once they were stabilized, I treated myself to a quarter pounder with cheese. On another birthday in my adulthood, I watched a special cake being made for someone else with the same birthday as mine, in my kitchen. That was...interesting. But then things got better. One year my SoCal friends went in on some Denver Bronco tickets for me. They bought me tickets to the Bronco-Raider game that year. I took my son and we had a great time. We ordered loaded nachos, enjoyed the Mile High Thunder and saw the Broncos win.

I have been truly blessed over the past five years as D has reminded me that my birthday is special. For the first time since my grandma passed, I have had angel food cake with strawberry icing. I have been treated to out of this world dinners at such places as Ruth's Cris, The Melting Pot, Texas de Brazil...yum! D's thoughtfulness has also extended to presents, Bon Jovi tickets, clothes, a spa weekend. I know how lucky I am to be able to look forward to my birthday again. For many years it passed relatively unnoticed. It has been magnificent to rediscover my birthday.

The second question, what makes me glad I was born? This is not a tough one to answer, rather the problem will be trying not to make it too long winded. I am happy I was born because if I had not been born I would have missed out on getting to know some remarkable people: my parents, sisters, friends, my children, D. Not being born would mean missing out on all of the beauty that surrounds me: flowers, babies, places I still need to see (like Hawaii!). If I had not been born, I would have never known the joy of playing ball, riding a bike-skateboard-motorcycle, coaching, being a mom-partner-aunt-teacher-daughter-granddaughter-niece, reading, cooking... You see? I could go on forever.

Roni was at my eighteenth birthday party. She gave me a wooden picture of Jesus. It still hangs in my bedroom today, twenty nine and a half years later.

*****

You can find Jamie Leeburg on Google+

For The Love of Onnie

2013-03-19T11:58:00.000-04:00

Without a doubt, one of the joys of my life's journey of late, has been in quality time spent with the people I love. I made a lot of new friends this past year because of a shared love for photography... but there is one in particular, who has touched my heart deeply with her strength, her kindness, her warmth, her compassion, and her unconditional and absolutely perfect capacity to love and reach out, even in the face of personal hardship and trial. It is my deepest prayer that it all comes back to her a thousandfold.

In the photograph above, she is walking along the Redondo Beach Pier with my dad, who is also someone from whom I have learned what it really means to love unconditionally. I fell in love with this photograph, because it is such a perfect representation of the relaxed warmth and acceptance they each bring to my life and also for what it felt like to be with them that day. Being with her is like the very best hug... the kind where you never want to let go.

We enjoyed a wonderful meal (and lots of laughter as we changed our minds and played musical restaurants and chairs!) and a relaxed walk... a bit of time with some funny feathered friends, and a magical evening of conversation with her family, in her own home. Being invited into her personal space was too wonderful to describe. Suffice it to say, she lives her life at home, as fully and beautifully as she lives her life outside of it. Her children are very blessed...

I'd be hard pressed to thank her adequately with words, so I will simply share some pictures from our day together and a then a song... just for her. It occurs to me that every place I have been, and all the things I have seen in my lifetime, are made so much richer by the people who are in them. The best images in my library.. the ones that mean the most to me.. are not the landscapes or the macros, or even the abstracts I have come to adore. They are still the images with the people I care about in them. And they are the images that remain most memorable to my heart.

Thank you for being so very good at this, Onnie, and for teaching me more every day... to be good at it too.:)

A Celebration of Life

2013-03-17T10:00:00.001-04:00

Hey everybody... just back from an amazing couple of weeks in Hawaii and I'm beginning to feel like my old self again. Yesterday, I was a bit of a zombie but I woke up this morning to a beautiful, sunny day here in New York (we won't talk about the fact that it's only 25 degrees!) and the sun is sparkling off the river like diamonds by the multitude. There is beauty of a different kind here... and it is a beauty enhanced by the warmth of four smiles and faces dearest of all, to my heart.

As I travel through the photographs I took over the last several weeks I am struck by such a sense of gratitude yet again. Standing on top of Haleakala, driving the road to Hana twice, bonding so closely with my sister, watching the joy on my dad's face, being with my cousins again, witnessing the mighty waves on the North Shore firsthand, cementing a very dear friendship even further, and making new and special ones, taking a helicopter ride over some of the most gorgeous land I have ever seen, watching whales and dolphins while listening to a beautiful young girl speak fluent Italian, immersing myself in Hawaiian culture and legend.... wow. There aren't enough words to express what I am feeling now that I am home and able to mentally and spiritually process it all in the quiet of my own familiar spaces. It was good to be there, and it is good to be here. I think my perfect life would consist of winters in Hawaii and the rest of the year in New York. You just never know. :)

We've only got a short amount of time left in this month. Half of March is already gone so I want to jump right back into The Light Project. (If you don't yet know about The Light Project, take some time to read about it by clicking the link or by visiting the tabs at the top of my blog. You can read some of the inspirational stories that have come in by clicking here: Your Stories. We're having a lot of fun giving you a platform for telling us what's on your heart and it's totally blessing ours so don't be shy!) Because March marks not just my birthday, but Jim's as well, for the next two weeks, we'd love it if you'd talk story with us and tell us about your best birthday ever. I will admit to a bit of selfishness on this one.;-) Without a doubt, my 47th birthday in Hawaii was my best one to date and this will allow me to keep right on talking about it for the remainder of the month. :)

Thanks to the generosity of one of my angel followers I have a $200 Adorama gift card to give away this month so go take a look at what they have to offer and start dreaming about how you might spend it! As always, Jim and I will share your stories here, and we'll choose one special person to give the gift card to at the end of this month. Congratulations and many thanks to Dana Lynn Moyer for her contributions to The Light Project in both January and February. She is now the proud owner of a new Keurig machine. I think I may have neglected to tell you also that Heather Webb touched our hearts deeply in January and is now using her new Canon camera to share the most beautiful images of her family with us, as she continues on her journey as the mother of twins. Prayers are still gratefully accepted as the time to bring little Jack home draws nearer and nearer.

As I look outside this morning at the light shining on the water, as the geese return in droves and I listen to their unique sound, and recall a Maui rooster who insisted on waking me up at 2:30am every day I was there... all I can do is smile. What a gift this life is. What a glorious, wondrous, beautiful celebration. Come... talk story with me and tell me what it is that makes you glad you were born.

The Love Shack

2013-02-24T06:27:00.001-05:00

As I look back over this month at all the stories you have shared with The Light Project I find a beautifully recurring theme throughout. For all of us, it is the little moments in life that are the biggest. The smallest acts of kindness that have the most powerful impact. The seemingly mundane minutes and hours that weave the threads of our lives together into a sense of belonging. The love we both give and receive, that sustains us. Your stories are not about the work you do, or the money you make, or the cars you drive. They're about the glorious patchwork of small experiences with the people in your lives that have brought you to where you are today. Sometimes it all seems like a wacky mix of mismatched boards, but when you put them all together... wow. I just lay here in the grass and smile. I think it's really pretty.

My friend Jamie said last week, "It is those who have the least... who give the most." I can tell you, that is one of the most profound lessons I am learning throughout this process and I think it's a very important one. I've known her a very long time and she truly lives that... always has. Even when those who were supposed to love her, turned their backs when she chose a life for herself that wasn't in line with their belief system. Even when she gave and gave of herself and got nothing in return. I admire her strength, more than she knows. We've been friends since we were little kids, making up adventures, giggling long into the night, making a mess out of her kitchen. She and her family took me in during a difficult time in my life, even though I came with a whole lot of baggage, including one tattered suitcase and a smoky gray cat named Rambo. This story is only one small part of her journey, and it has not been an easy one. There are dark days for all of us. But they are punctuated by light. It is still my quest to reflect that. And I thank every one of you who has taken the time and given me a reason to wake up every morning to your sunshine.

*****

Jamie's Story

I met my partner for the first time sixteen years ago. I fell in love with her first as a friend. One of the first things I noticed about her were her sparkling blue eyes. Her eyes light up every time she smiles and she has a terrific smile. The second thing I noticed about her was that she is a great mom. When I became a parent, I knew instantly how much I loved my children and did not want to be apart from them. As a teacher, I am blessed with breaks, allowing me precious time with my children. Inevitably those breaks would end and I would spend my first few days back to work feeling sad and missing them deeply. She was the only other person I knew who felt as I did. I would hear other parents wishing for breaks to be over so they could return their children to school. Not us. We savored the moments.

Over the years, our families, or to be more specific, she and I and our children grew closer. We planned outings together. I have pictures of all of us at the Golden Pool. We started traditions that lasted for several years: Water World in the summer, movie day, the day after Thanksgiving, game night on New Year's Eve. We traveled together to Southern California twice. Road trip! On one of those adventures we went to Legoland. On another we camped out in tents in my parents backyard. One road trip in particular stands out. We went to Vegas with my oldest and her youngest to check out a college. It was on the return trip, we were playing a version of twenty questions. I knew my feelings for her had developed into more than a friendship but at the time I did not speak of it or let on in any way. The questions and answers we shared on that trip gave us tremendous personal insight to each other. It would be another year before I could admit anything to her.

The past four and a half years have been a complete blessing. Musicals, concerts, trips to the park, restored trust and belief in love, things I had given up on. How do you thank someone for giving you back life? I look forward to a lifetime of adventures. Trips we want to take together. Quiet afternoons in the park playing catch. Reading to one another. An ongoing romance for us. Corny? Perhaps, but I can live with that.

Taking the Time

2013-02-22T14:09:00.001-05:00

The variety of stories that have come in to me this month have been just amazing. This one, comes from my friend Gaetano Matteazzi and is a wonderful story of how one person can truly impact the life of another and how encouraging words can turn lives around. Thank you, Guy. Click here for more on The Light Project. ~ Roni

*****

"Guy…do you really believe in me?” A quarter of a century has passed since a 17-year old client of mine asked me that fateful question. I still recall the tone of his enquiry - disbelief flavoured with a wisp of hope.

It was hours after the first trial I ever lost. I was an articling student…about to be called to the Bar. I accept losing, but I was very angry and bitter because I knew I had torn apart the arresting police officer. I saw the panic in his eyes as I picked apart his testimony. The Crown (Canadian D.A.) had anticipated an easy victory but was clearly in full retreat. Unfortunately for me, the trial was held in a small rural town and the Judge was a retired police officer. The fact I was a law student from “the big city of Toronto” only got me derision. (How ironic. I grew up in a town of 10,000).

Our star witness did not help. I sensed his smug arrogance the moment he showed up…wearing a cocaine spoon around his neck. Even though I got him to remove it before anyone noticed, I knew it would be a long day. It was. My client’s friend was as useful as a screen door on a submarine. It was not so much his flimsy testimony, as much as his pathetic cockiness. Within minutes he alienated everyone in the courtroom…especially the Judge. I soon discovered how Custer felt.

We lost. I kept my client out of jail…but we lost. Nothing else mattered.

Driving back to the city with my client only fuelled my rage. It was readily apparent the kid had been goaded into misconduct because of his so-called friend. He had also taken the entire heat. His record was already longer than my arm. Yet there was something in this kid…a spark of decency and goodness. It was palpable. As we approached his home, I stopped by the side of the road, looked him straight in the eye and asked “Why?” I suggested he was doing this to punish his parents who had recently separated and that he was screaming for attention because he thought no one cared about him. No words escaped his lips, only quiet resignation. He nodded.

“Look,” I said, “We all make mistakes. But the difference between a winner and a loser is that the loser keeps making the same mistakes over and over again. The winner learns from the mistakes and doesn’t make them a second time. I meet all kinds…but I can tell you’re a good kid. You’re a winner. I believe in you. Clean up your act. Talk with your parents and hang around friends who make you better. You can start by dumping the fool that came to court today. That is no friend.” He looked up and asked, “Guy…do you really believe in me?” I smiled and said yes, and asked him to believe in himself and to prove me right.

The next day he telephoned me and told me he wanted to “go straight. He asked me to be a reference. I told him I would be honoured. He got a job that summer and I didn’t hear another word until several years later when a colleague of mine brought up his name. He had bumped into my former client and learned that he had kept his word. He had gone straight and wanted me to know he was doing well. He now owned 3 computer stores and was expanding and it was partially because many years ago…a young law student…believed in him.

The most precious gift we can give others, is our time. Taking even a few minutes of our time…may foster a positive change in the lives of those around us. And taking that time, may lead one to the light.

His Perfect Timing

2013-02-21T09:19:00.000-05:00

My heartfelt thanks to Kara Chickering for sharing her story with The Light Project. As the author of this blog, I am so grateful for the way so many of you have opened up your hearts this month. It is bouncing light all over the place, and making 2013 an especially good year. I appreciate every one of you. Your stories are so beautiful. ~ Roni

*******

Tim and Kara

Ever since I was a little girl, I would pray for my future husband, dream about who he would be and the life we would share together. I believed that ‘prince charming’ was real, even if I didn’t know when he would enter my life. Will he be a high school classmate? It didn’t look likely. Would I meet him in college? Apparently not. I was praying for him specifically, not doubting that God would provide. The 20’s came and went. Had I been forgotten? Hitting a discouraging spot in my late 30’s I was urged pray for this exact issue over the period of one month. The goal wasn’t to be engaged or married at the end of the month, but to have some peace and reassurance that God had not forgotten me. I refused to believe that He would put a place in my heart for a soul mate and then leave it empty.

At the end of thirty days, someone ‘new’ appeared in my life. He wasn’t actually a new face, because we had been attending church together for nearly 10 years. Tim played the acoustic guitar in one of the music groups during worship services. We knew each other by sight, but never personally interacted. I knew his parents and was on friendly terms with them. So I had a new friend at church. We had cordial conversations before or after services, and I was trying to discern if this was a fluke, or a direct answer to my prayer. Tim had been wounded in past relationships, was not interested in repeating anything similar, and was not looking for anything serious.

After a few weeks, I took the bold step of asking him on a date. We weren’t in the car but a few minutes and I started to observe things that reminded me of my dad. This was not a bad thing! Tim enjoyed his very first major league baseball game. But after that outing, it was back to our friendly but intermittent encounters. He knew I was interested in him, but Tim’s past kept him skeptical. This continued for 18 months. We never exchanged phone numbers or email addresses. This was exclusively a friendship within the walls of the church. And in the meantime, I watched him, becoming more convinced that this was the one that I had been waiting for – the one that had been chosen for me.

There came a point where I reached out to my friend. I was preparing to play guitar on a music team at an upcoming religious retreat. The group leader had selected some challenging songs, and I asked Tim if he would give me some pointers. To make the task more enticing, I promised to make him dinner. If you hear Tim’s side of the story, this is when his eyes were opened. Not that he went without a fight and asking for a lot of advice from friends. Is it worth the risk of putting your heart out there? Tim’s friends said it was absolutely the right decision. The next date was at a restaurant after church, where there was a large table of friends. We held hands for the first time, and he kissed me in the parking lot before saying goodbye. In three days, we were talking about getting married. Once the man was convinced, there was no going back! He became my very own ‘guitar man’.

A wedding! There was no practical reason to wait except for giving faraway family and friends time to make travel plans. So a date was selected – with enough time to find just the right location and give it special touches to make it our very own. In the meantime, we enjoyed date nights of miniature golf and movies, game nights and outings with family. Very quickly we found ourselves finishing each other sentences and responding to a situation with the same obscure word at the same time. In premarital counseling, the pastor said he had never seen two more well-matched people.

A dress was purchased, a cake selected, and seasonal touches were planned for a dreamy early December event. Wedding rings were ordered. ‘Expect them to take 6 or 8 weeks’. Perfect! Late in September, an engagement party was given. Among the gifts received was a Lenox bride and groom cake topper. I graciously said ‘thank you’, knowing that there was another one at home. What was I going to do with this very pretty but essentially unusable item?

At this point, our world suddenly seemed to ‘fall apart’. It only took one phone call from my doctor. Cancer. It only took one phone call to Tim where I said, ‘I need you’. And it only took a moment for him to take me by the hand, to the courthouse where we got a marriage license. My head was elsewhere, but I was able to hear him quietly telephoning his friends and explaining the latest change of events. I prayed that there would be someone to hold him up and give him the encouragement he needed over the next weeks and months. We found a pastor to marry us in a small room at church over the upcoming weekend – just the two of us and our family. But our church family and particularly Tim’s music team rallied. They told us when to show up, and didn’t divulge much more. Another incoming phone call – the rings had been delivered to the jewelry store, many weeks earlier than expected.

With rings in hand, we arrived at the time and place specified. Inside there were flowers, music, videographer, decorations, food, guest book, gifts, and wedding cake. And what was on top of the cake? The unexpected wedding shower gift of a bride and groom! It was needed after all.

Less than 48 hours after the wedding was surgery. Our honeymoon was spent in the hospital, with a wedding bouquet on the bedside table. A new husband and wife, meeting the challenges set before them. Surgical recovery was essentially uncomplicated and our immediate goal was being ready for a December wedding that was almost fully planned.

What a celebration it was – with a surprise snowstorm that added to the winter theme! What God has joined together – a cord of three strands that cannot be broken. It was those three strands that held us together when Tim’s mother died just nine months later, and when Tim received a life-threatening diagnosis the following year.

The bond between us grows, as time passes and these challenges of life are met head-on. Am I disappointed that I wasn’t married until after 40? Would I have been willing to walk this path if I knew in advance where it would end up? I believe, Tim and I were both being prepared for each other and knowing that God had purposely crossed our paths at the most perfect time is all the reassurance I need.

Open Hands Make Richer Hearts

2013-02-20T03:46:00.000-05:00

Two years ago, I shared a story about my son Eric and his interaction with a Marine at our local state fair. I'd like to share a portion of that with you today in conjunction with the thoughts of someone who sent me a story of his own to share with The Light Project. He asked to remain anonymous but I would like to thank both he and my son, for reminding me of what true, unselfish giving really looks like.

For some incredibly rich food for thought, click here.

How many of us today... know how to give like that? I'm going to tell you about two and when it flows from hearts like these... it is really quite breathtaking.

The first story is about this little guy - my youngest son, Eric. He's a pretty great little boy... who like most boys I know.. loves video games and riding his bike, basketball, bowling, and playing in the snow. But I will tell you, he is anything but typical and he gave me a moment at the fair yesterday, that I... and a few stouthearted marines, will never forget.

There are lots of informational tables all over the fairgrounds where people are looking for donations or a sale of some kind. We stopped at this particular table yesterday, as my brother is now a Marine, in service to our country. We lingered for a minute, talking with the guys there and one Marine really stood out. His name is Cameron, and he lost his leg in the Vietnam War. He lifted his pant leg and showed the boys his prosthetic leg and the Marine standing next to him said, "He's our bionic man." We continued to talk to him about his experience and to thank him for his service and hug him in appreciation. Eric was quietly taking it all in and processing it in his own way, unbeknownst to us. On the table in front of him, there were rows of tiny silk roses being given to those who donated to the cause. Each one of them had a label commemorating our fallen soldiers and those who had risked life and limb to protect the freedom and ideals of this country.

We had given each of the boys $20 to spend on whatever they wanted throughout the day, and my son reached into his pocket, took out his last $10 bill and handed it quietly to Cameron. When asked if he wanted change, he shook his head and said.."No, you keep it."

I will never, as long as I live, forget the look on that man's face, just before the tears began to fall. And I have never, ever been prouder of my little boy. There was no fanfare, it was just a quiet moment, unnoticed by all but a few misty eyed Marines. (and his mom).

The second story illustrates how sometimes the most generous of gifts comes from the humblest of circumstances. I have been the recipient of gifts like this recently, and it speaks volumes to me about how I might change the way I look at money and giving.

As he looked up, Jesus saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. I tell you the truth, he said. This poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on. Luke 21:1-4

*****

When we were opening my Bar Mitzva presents (50 years ago) one of them was a card from my Aunt Rose with $5.00 in it. I commented to my father that it seemed kind of cheap and he said that it was the most generous gift of all. Aunt Rose probably had to stretch two meals into three for a few days in order to be able to afford the $5 and the card. Most of the other givers could send 5 or 10 times that amount and not much notice.

If someone has to wait for payday or scrimp and save in order to find $20 to give away and then I go and give the same amount, I've devalued them, their efforts and their contribution. Equal giving means giving from the heart in a measure equal to my abilities to give.

*****

“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.”

— Franklin D. Roosevelt

On Rollerskating, Bowling, and Life's Other BIG Moments

2013-02-18T18:02:00.000-05:00

*A note from Roni: I don't know quite how to tell you what it means to me to be sharing these stories from the hearts of people all over the world this year. We all have one and when we choose to tell them, it reminds us, each and every one.. that we are not alone; not in our struggles, not in our triumphs or our joys and, most of all... not in our desire to both love and be loved and to belong. If there is one thing I am learning by sharing The Light Project it is this: We all belong to a resilient human race with a strong pulse and a deep desire to be heard. It is with the greatest of respect for your storytelling, that I continue to run this blog, and this project. My heartfelt thanks to Shaun White who I truly hope will come back and tell us more of his family's story as we wind our way through 2013.

There is so much yet untold....

The photo above was taken on September 1st, only 4 days after Dane had his second open heart operation. He had his second aortic valve replaced, and like the first one, the second one came from a donor. The look in Liv's face is relief, and an amazing thought that we would be going home the next day...

Our story starts in March of 1984. I had just turned 12 years old. We had recently moved from the Royal Australian Air Force base at Amberley west of Brisbane to Narangba north of Brisbane. I started my first day at the Narangba State School in grade 7 and I was taken for a look around the very small school, then up to class. The first person that I had seen and said hello to, was Liv. She had turned 13 the month before and I can tell you that this was one of those movie moments. Liv was the girl that every boy was interested in... including me.

Over the next couple of months I got very active in the school activities and I set up all of the music for a roller skating and dance day. I was into a little bit of breakdancing as most of us were back then (80's) and it seemed that I had won the heart of Liv that day. The next week she asked me out and we were a couple for 3 months. Back then a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship would be at the most 2 to 3 weeks. We remained friends through out High School. We did talk at times but we had different friends and different lives.

After school finished we each started our life in the work force. Liv became a jeweler and I became a carpenter. We would run into each other many times over the next few years and it would always be a big hug and a big conversation on what had been happing from the last time we had talked.

Now in 1990, I was out with my girlfriend and our other friends ten pin bowling. One of the ladies that was with us had an old boyfriend that was bringing along his new girlfriend to show her off to all of us. I can’t say his name but Gavin was a bit of a show off. (Liv hates it when I bring his name up). It was Liv, who was his new girlfriend, and to the person that cannot be named (Gavin) and my girlfriend at the time (Rebecca, who I also should not name) were both really mad at us because we just talked the whole night. Over the next 9 years we did again see each other on and off again at different times.

Then... in 1999 I moved in with my sister back at Narangba in a Unit (Apartment). It was a couple of days after Christmas and I had come home from work and gone for a 10 km run. When I got back I was out in the driveway talking to my sister when Liv walked past with her mother and father. She was pushing a pram. Well I looked at my sister and said, "I think that’s Liv!" so I ran off after her, caught up and that’s the first time I got to see Natalie. (She was only 3 weeks from turning one). Natalie is not my biological child but she is my daughter. Liv and I went on a date the next week, and nine months later we were married. It took me one week to decide I wanted to marry Liv but about three more months to get the courage up to ask.

Over The Next 12 Years:
Nisse came along, then we purchased or home in Caboolture. Davin came along in January of 2004 and Dane came along in 2006. In between, we had four miscarriages, too many trips to hospitals and even lived in one for just shy of 10 weeks.

We had many bad times and also many lovely times, but it is all of the proud moments and the good times that keep us who we are. It is the small things in life that make it special and I'll never forget those memories of walking into a room when I was twelve years old and knew nothing about the world and saw the person that would become my best friend, my lover, my wife and the mother to our children.

“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you'll look back and realize they were big things.”
~Robert Brault

Do It Anyway!

2013-02-16T09:51:00.002-05:00

Note from Roni: Many thanks to my friend Lynn Hughes for her story about the ministry of her sister Michele in the Ukraine. Life is very different in other parts of the world and I am reminded anew, not to take the comforts of my own life, for granted. I am often amazed and inspired by those who feel called to live an unselfish life of hardship, in order to spread some light into dark corners of the world.

*****

Tom and Michele where talking at a local church today. They are part of RHEMA Ministries. They build churches, teach the gospel, and are the deans of RHEMA college in the Ukraine. Michele can speak Russian which is the language of the Ukraine. But they do have a translator whenever they work. They try not to speak English outside of their flat because it is dangerous for them to do so. They have a two room flat and by our standards it would be a very small rat hole. But in the Ukraine they are lucky to have something so nice. They have two chairs, a fat bed (that means it is not a sofa bed) and a microwave in the kitchen.

They teach at four different schools. One of them is in their home city and the other three are spreed out around the country. They used to have a car to travel with, but it was stolen, so now they travel by train. It can take up to fifteen hours to get to where they are going. They travel with two plates,spoons,forks,knifes,and a pot and the books and teaching supplies they will need. They also bring all the food and water they will need for the trip. They used to have a truck and belongings stored in this country, but they where stolen as well. They feel GOD wants them to live out of a suit case. Tom is always getting sick when they travel because of the poor sanitation. He just spent three weeks in the hospital there and the doctors really did not think he would live, but his faith pulled him through. At first he was in the city hospital. There was one men's restroom on a floor that was half a football field long. No matter how sick you are that is the restroom the men use. There were seven other men in his room. The one women's restroom had a dead body in it. After three days there, RHEMA got him into a military hospital through an ex-KGB officer now turned minister. The nurses in these hospitals would put the IV in Tom's arm and tie it down with a used piece of gauze. It was up to Michele to buy whatever other medications he needed and give them to him. Michele was always hassled by thugs wanting the drugs and money. Michele herself has been diagnosed with Tuberculosis and liver disease.

Tom and Michele come back to the USA to see their kids and beautiful four year old granddaughter, once a year. She's as smart as can be. When they go back to the Ukraine they will take a suit case full of paper plates, crayons, color pencils, markers, pipe cleaners, and glue, to teach the adults in their colleges how to do crafts, (they have never done them before... there is no word for "craft" in the Russian language) so that these new ministers can then teach the children in their new ministries.

In August, Tom and Michele will be moving to Germany, to the RHEMA home office for Europe. They will travel all over Europe teaching and building and spreading the light. When a roadblock is thrown in their path, they say p-shaw and keep on going. Their passion is to spread the light through all of Europe. They will do it. They have grown so much as pastors and it is amazing to listen to them share their love.

I AM VERY PROUD OF MY LITTLE SISTER MICKI! ~ Lynn

Click here to learn more about the Light Project.

It All Comes Back To You Someday

2013-02-15T06:46:00.001-05:00

Note from Roni: Last month, Dana Moyer shared a beautiful story for The Light Project and you can read that here: A Single Ray of Hope. I suppose you could call this the prequel. When I look back on my own life, I see that it is a journey... similar to driving a car at night. You cannot always see much past the headlights, but you keep going and eventually the miles are behind you and the glorious sunrise before you, illuminates the road ahead. As an aspiring fiction writer, that resonates with me. The puzzle can seem baffling before you figure out how all the pieces fit together. But in the end, if you put it together right, you'll have the whole magnificent picture of your life in front of you. I think Dana's puzzle is coming together rather nicely. Life hasn't always come easy for her, but she still reaches out with a helping hand to others who need it. There's a whole lot of LIGHT in her example.

*****

Back in 1979 when my oldest son was still a baby my husband decided we would move to Montana from Vidor, Texas. (He had just a little bit of wander lust in his blood) This is a 1900 mile drive and we came in an old 1973 Chevy Nova that had definitely seen better days. Traveling that many miles with a baby was a lesson in patience and endurance. I was only 17 years old at the time. We finally made it into Butte, Montana late at night. I remember when we came over the pass and I saw all the lights of Butte, Montana sparkling in the valley below. I had never seen mountains before or a valley for that matter.

My husband found us a tiny apartment with a murphy bed that pulled down out of the wall. I had never even heard of a bed like that before then. He found a job and worked there for maybe six weeks or so then decided to move again. So I packed up what we had and we took off for Canada. They wouldn't let us through once we got there because we didn't have much money and he didn't have a job waiting for him. So we turned around and ended up going to Kalispell, Montana. We rented a motel there by the week and he found another job with a guy nicknamed Shorty. Living in a small motel room with an active baby wasn't easy for either one of us but I tried to make the best of it. This was the middle of winter and neither one of us had any warm clothes so we had to stay indoors.

We left Kalispell, Montana after two months and took off once again. I remember staying in a motel for about a week in Spokane, Washington. When money started getting really tight, we had to leave. We traveled through Washington state, then into Oregon. By this time we didn't even have money for gasoline, diapers or formula. I can remember my husband going to places and asking for help and getting just enough money to get us through one more day. All he wanted to do was get to a town large enough that he could find a job. He got desperate enough that he stole some gasoline. Well we got caught, since the baby crib strapped to the roof of our car made us easy to spot. He went to jail and my baby and I ended up spending the nights at the Salvation Army and the days on the streets. He was released five days later and we took off again with no money or a place to stay.

Eventually, we came across this farm near Eugene, Oregon with their own gas pump and decided to knock on their door. The lady of the house asked us to come in and make ourselves comfortable. They were going to church but she told us to stay and keep an eye on the roast in the oven! They had more animals than I had ever seen in my life: goats, cows, sheep many different dogs and a few barn cats. In the end my husband started working around their farm in exchange for a place to stay and food to eat. We stayed with them for about ten days and when we left they filled up our gas tank and handed my husband a twenty dollar bill.

I will never forget the generosity and kindness they showed us. I marvel to this day at the courage it took to allow strangers to come into their home and remain there when they left. We finally made it into Ventura, CA where my husband found a job and again we were shown kindness, as the owner of the construction business allowed us to stay with them until we had enough money to get our own place.

These are the people that led to my story about helping the homeless man named Dan a few years ago. Everything does happen for a reason and if you listen with your heart you may just hear that tiny voice that says be kind, show love to others and it will come back to you one fine day.

For more on The Light Project, click HERE.

I'm Amazed Every Day

2013-02-14T08:45:00.002-05:00

Twenty seven years ago, today... he asked me to marry him.

This morning... I remember exactly why I said yes.

Just A Quick "I Love You"

2013-02-13T13:12:00.001-05:00

Dear Roni,

I ran across this while reading, of all things, a discussion between software developers about their impossible schedule… a blog I was reading to get some perspective on my own workload here. When I read it, I thought it was a wonderful tale, and one that you, too, might get some light from.

The carrot, the egg, and the coffee bean

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling.

It seemed that, as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," the young woman replied. The mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take the egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water - but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened! The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had actually changed the water.

"Which are you?" the mother asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong but, with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit but, after a death, a breakup, or a financial hardship, does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavour.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

Love, Jim

Click Here for more on The Light Project

and here:

To Read Your Stories

On Tender Hearts

2013-02-12T08:47:00.000-05:00

Note from Roni: For privacy reasons, the author of this story has asked to remain anonymous but I am incredibly grateful that she chose to share it... regardless. Please read here for more on

The Light Project

********************************

A few years ago I became a facilitator for the Juvenile Justice Department education and redirection for children in the criminal system. My job entailed teaching the children in the program that there are other choices beyond the crime that they had been involved with, in most cases, all of their lives. Most of these children came from troubled backgrounds and had a history of neglect and/or abuse. One of the children in the program was one that was pointed out to me as a hopeless case. The advice I was given was to step on his negative behaviour and ignore or report him.

The first couple of weeks with this particular group was the usual type of thing: establishing relationships and boundaries with the kids, watching their actions and interactions within the group and generally getting to know each other within the environment we were in. One thing that came to my attention fairly quickly was that the boy that had been pointed out to me as a hopeless case (let’s call him Sam), was always the focus of attention from the other boys. They looked to him, not for leadership per se, but for troublemaking or disruptive ideas.

Now Sam was 16 and very small for his age. He wanted to do jobs that were way beyond his physical capabilities, that were considered tough.. that were commonly brute force type jobs. All of the team that had previously worked with him had put him into these jobs and they never ended well. This (I think), just added to Sam’s frustration with life. One thing I did notice about Sam was his tender heart with animals, and they loved him too. I put it to the board that I wanted to contact the racing industry and see if there could be a place found for him within the horse racing fields. A trainer, agreed to meet with Sam the very next week.

Sam was fascinated with the size and power of the horses and the routine involved with training them. To make a long story short, Sam committed to the trainer for a period of 6 months and worked his butt off. He would be at the stables every morning at 3am to begin cleaning the stalls and preparing the horses for their training. He is apparently now overseas with the trainer, and is well on his way to becoming a qualified Jockey. The difference this boy made to himself and his family was amazing.
And yes, I feel good about my part in his story, as I know I was able to make a difference for him with just a small amount of encouragement and in hearing and really seeing him.

I truly believe that sometimes in this world, that small amount of non judgmental time and effort from a friend, a stranger, or even an enemy, can make the difference of a lifetime for some. There is a saying about never knowing the full effect of your smile for a stranger. I believe that to be absolutely true. Isn't it wonderful to think what your smile might do for those you reach out to?