my life. her life.

confession of me

2011-09-01T23:30:00.003+08:00

世上无不散之宴席

seriously, i never thought i will have homesick. now the truth is, i will, i really really will.

i miss everything everything here...... my families, my friends, my lunzi...

i know kl is near, but...... something is just not the same anymore. everyone is being apart.

people, i will miss you all.

why here?

2011-07-03T19:05:00.002+08:00

kuantan is a peaceful town.
now, i'm afrad, it will not be anymore.

because of you....

you're upsetting me, really.

2011-07-03T16:47:00.002+08:00

i never never never ever thought of this would happen to my beautiful, peaceful hometown..
don't destroy the place where i had my precious childhood memories..

please, stop lynas..

365th day

2011-06-26T00:10:00.002+08:00

i break my new year resolution for YOU..

happy first year anniversary xiao lun zi!

I LOVE YOU!!

<3

hey peeps!

2011-01-01T12:47:00.004+08:00

look at the date, aww, it just doesn't feel real to me..

i just want to say........

ya right..

happy new year!

my new year resolution is, quit blogging. lol. good?

notification

2010-12-18T09:00:00.000+08:00

this people is departing to kl,
will be back to kuantan on 28th/29th december... ;)

life is so fragile.

2010-12-17T03:51:00.006+08:00

insomnia comes back to me immediately after STPM. probably because i don't have to worry about studies now, which means i can think about somethings else and leads me to insomnia?

death, currently on my mind. (because i was thinking, time flies, i'm gonna be 20. i've lived for almost 20 years. what about another next 20 years, should be very fast too eh?)

this is my main cause of insomnia. for times, when i think of this, i will surely get insomnia. nobody knows what comes after death. honestly, i'm afraid of death, not because of the pain. i'm just scared to lose my memories.

okay, two conditions,

1. scientifically, they believe there is no afterlife. dead means dead, that's it. no need to say this, surely, there's no memories left. and so, i'm scared.

2. according to religion beliefs, there's life cycle. yet, we will have our memories removed when we go to the next life, this means my memories will be gone. and so, i'm scared.

whichever way, i'm scared.

okay addition,

3. if i can live forever, which is impossible, or i just don't go to my next life, i may have my memories fresh forever, yet, i think, hell forever man, surely i will get bored, and tired of living, still i will want to end it right? if i do, then my memories gone too...

what, whatever is it, i will still have to forget everything. *cry*

i always think losing memory is equal to death as the person forgets everything of his/her past, it's just like losing everything, and she/he is completely gone.
so, i'm scared if there's one day i bang my head, and too, uhhh, forget everything........

seriously, please appreciate life.

people, my heart feels cold now. i'm scared. but at this late now, who is there still awake to talk with me?

AH, LOL! HAH!

2010-12-16T14:41:00.003+08:00

WHAT? THIS IS IT?
STPM IS OVER!!

it's party time!!

i just reached home, feel so dead tired.

flower, gleam and glow

2010-12-15T19:12:00.002+08:00

dang me! i forgot to go government hospital to draw blood... gahhhh, i just checked my blood pressure, i'm still hypotension... what has happened to inside of me.
tomorrow i must go to the hospital..

save what has been lost, bring back what once was mine..

let's wet!

2010-12-14T17:33:00.004+08:00

left chemistry paper......

!

anyway,
i can start flying now! hoooooooooooooray!

muahahahahahhaha!

it's time to plan my long long long long long holidays..... xDD

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

i'm nervous.

2010-12-14T11:42:00.004+08:00

yesh, as refer to the title!
mathematics paper 2, *roarrrrrrrr* i'm nervous!

ahhhhhHhhhhhh, i shall go to shop tonight, if my sister is free. xD

* STPM haven't finished, i can feel the boredom adi though. =_______=

thousands thanks

2010-12-10T20:02:00.001+08:00

for you were there..

in the hospital....

2010-12-09T19:33:00.008+08:00

5th december 2010 - 8th december 2010 (dengue wart)

i will never forget these dates...
the loneliness, the boredom, i don't even dare to think right now. the wish of going home was like forever not happening to me. for every each day knowing myself still cannot discharge from the hospital, it's like the saddest news of the world to me.

you don't know how badly i wish the doctor come and tell me, " hey girl, you can discharge today....."
you have no idea how envy i feel when i see patients discharging out....

i can't believe how i survived these days. sitting there waiting time to pass, aw, really awful..... seriously, i'm scared to remember how it felt..

to me, 5pm to 7pm is the happiest time of the day, the time i desperate for, visiting time. i really feel very happy when i see my friends coming to visit me. the happiness, indescribable. thank you my dear friends! i really appreciate alots alots alots alots and alots!

my advise to you people is, please avoid staying in hospital! it's really super duper bored inside!

*hungry is really pathetic, i swear to god i will help the africa kids from hunger next time, if money is not my limiting factor.

7 days.

2010-12-09T19:29:00.000+08:00

one more week!

malaria-phobia

2010-12-09T19:22:00.006+08:00

on the 15th of december,
i'll still have to draw blood for one last time...

i'm now afraid of mosquitoes.
*mosquitoes, i kneel down beg you, don't sting me!*

#rashes is subsiding... ;D

home coming!

2010-12-08T18:27:00.002+08:00

finally, i'm discharged from the hospital!

my arms are full with needles holes.

D;

*cruelly wish mosquitoes extinct.

38.9

2010-12-01T20:39:00.001+08:00

thirty eight point nine..

i tried my best..

2010-12-01T16:58:00.003+08:00

1st dec is really a bad date for me. remember two years back while i was sitting for my spm account paper, i was sick too...

for one thing i know,
i tried my best.

my target keeps lowering for every each paper i take...

D;

slow.......

2010-11-30T21:16:00.007+08:00

time, do you mind just move a little faster for this two weeks?
and so then your job is done, you can stop ticking. sounds great eh? time stops moving we don't have to die right? nahhhh, our bodies never stop functioning, and our cells never stop deviding remember? our systems will still get old...

okay crap too far, time will never stop moving. but i can stop the clock. wheee! *oh, another crap*

oh yay yay yay! GOODBYE biology.
no more memory works! *hiak hiak!*

i feel so reluctant to study now. but........... i still have to right? this is so sad. D;

for the course i want...

2010-11-25T00:05:00.001+08:00

MOVE ON!

PLEASE I BEG YOU!

not that easy.

2010-11-24T23:28:00.002+08:00

sorry, i'm still not determined enough to help myself...

gahhhhhhhhHhhh!

what had i done today? bullshit..

DONT QUIT!

2010-11-24T13:36:00.006+08:00

I SHOULDN'T STOP TRYING!
I HAVE NO RIGHT TO STOP TRYING!

DON'T HAVE TO BE THE BEST, BUT I MUST AT LEAST DO MY BEST.

I SHOULDN'T ALLOW MYSELF TO HAVE ANY CHANCE TO REGRET IN MY LATER LIFE!

COME ON BABE JUST DO IT!

one paper down!

2010-11-23T16:25:00.003+08:00

*ROARRRRRRR!*

do you believe this?! one paper is down. lol, still, i don't quite believe STPM has already started.....?

i have a week rest till my next paper. now i feel like i'm directionless, i don't know what to study and what should i do. ~~*definitely maths, my maths suck, but i just dont feel like doing. =x*~~
i feel like wanting to go out. go where or do what, i dont know. ;s

xDDDDD

*peace!*

怎么可能.......

2010-11-22T12:05:00.002+08:00

明天, 明天, 明天...........................
求你呐求你呐求你呐
求求你呐!!
D;

SPM 和 STPM 的考生们,
要加油哦!

COME ON, LET IT BE FAST.

2010-11-21T12:16:00.005+08:00

i want to feel the sun,
i want to feel the pool water,

i want to sweat,
i want to scream,

i want to be freed from examinations.

I WANT TO FEEL THE FREEDOM!

i want to out like nobody's business..

these days are near. yippie!