Question from Linda

I finally had a phone consultation [with a nutritionist at Nutritional Weight and Wellness] 3 weeks ago. So, I’ve been ‘working the program’ and so far, I do not see any results. I had actually been following along since February and saw no big weight drop, so that’s why I decided to finally go for it and have a consult.

I haven’t eaten bread or flour since the middle of February and I truly expected to see something happening. My weight keeps going up and down the same 5 to 7 pounds it’s been bouncing for the last two years! We eliminated dairy, too. BUT this is where I need to ask a question. Do you totally eliminate dairy or do you use any yogurt or cottage cheese? I stopped eating any sliced or shredded cheese, but I sorely miss my Greek yogurt. I tried making my smoothies without it, but I miss it and I loved that it is so packed with protein.

I can’t tolerate milk – but not yogurt or cheese, so we thought eliminating it would be a good idea to test out a dairy intolerance. I see no change. I talk with Cassie again next week, but I am really stumped as to why I am not losing weight. Funny thing is, my clothes fit better or are loose. It’s crazy!

I’m kind of disappointed because I feel that I have really worked hard and have eliminated a lot from my diet. Anyway, next week I will definitely be working this out with my nutritionist. The ONLY thing I can think of is that I use cream in my coffee and now I’m even cutting back on that. Do you drink any coffee or tea with cream?

Call me frustrated.

My answer

You are not alone. I went ONE FULL YEAR before anything happened eating this way. One full year. I am not saying that this will happen to you, but it really does take time for your metabolism to heal (at first when Kara told me this “healing” stuff, I thought it was BS; but it is true). In fact, Dr. Schwarzbein says, “You have to be healthy to lose weight, not lose weight to get healthy.” It is really true. Our bodies are conservative systems, and they need time to “get on track.”

So, it is no surprise to me that you are getting these results (no weight loss, but clothes that fit better). I have been through this very cycle about 5 times. I have just come through a really sticky one that went on and on for a year! Same 10 pounds just not budging. Now, things are happening. This is why quick-fix diets are so enticing and addictive. They really get you hooked on the process of quick weight loss in those first few weeks, but then fail in the long term. This one takes time to get going, no way around that, but really works in the long term.

As for the dairy, I moved away from everything, including yogurt. I would ask your nutritionist about the greek yogurt. I know the goat milk stuff doesn’t contain the hormone that can cause weight gain. So, maybe that kind would work for you. I still eat goat cheese even though I am dairy free.

Now cream is considered a fat, not dairy. So, I still have whipped cream and full fat cream in my coffee. So, don’t worry about that.

One thing to do, is verify with your nutritionist that she is giving you the Nutrition 4 Weight loss eating plan. It is slightly less fat than their regular plan. The idea being that a bit less fat frees up the liver to metabolize more of your body fat (I think this is how it works).

Also, I am gluten-free. If you haven’t gotten rid of the grains, this could be just the trick. Did you hear the Dishing Up Nutrition podcast from this past week with the doctor who wrote “Wheat Belly”? It was really interesting. He talks about the amazing weight loss from people who have given up wheat and other troublesome grains.

So after viewing this episode, I decided to post a comment on the Weight of a Nation Facebook page. Here is what I wrote and a comment I received.

Now this guy, because he is thin and has always been thin, thinks he is the picture of health. I see this all of the time. We assume that because someone is thin they are the picture of health. As with Richard, he is walking around, eating what sounds like a diet extremely high in processed food and sugar, thinking he is healthy and will always be healthy as long as he stays thin. Until he starts having joint pain, chronic inflammation, constant heartburn, or any number of other conditions resulting from high-sugar diets, he will continue to be misled into thinking that being thin is the only marker of health and vitality. Richard and his diet remind me of something I used to say a lot, “America. A land where even the thin people are fat.”

Richard’s comment also reveals another ugly truth about how many thin people think about overweight people–that fundamentally being fat is about being weak willed and it is a character flaw. That he can eat “until he is more than full” and still keep his thin frame makes him better than all of us who can’t without packing on pounds. He is just like the annoying, skinny girl in high school who would exclaim, “I eat and eat and I never seem to be able to gain weight!” Ugh.

I still highly recommend the documentary. It had a lot of good information, and at least it is trying to change the conversation around obesity to be more constructive. However, with all of the experts and all of the data presented, I wonder how they keep getting it so wrong. Obesity is a biochemical problem, and not one of thermodynamics (calories in, calories out). There is such a huge difference between these two approaches–one promotes health and weight loss, while the other is a frustrating numbers game in which people always lose.

I just finished watching a special on 20/20 called “Gaining and losing Weight Means Big Paydays for Celebrities” The story confirmed what I have long believed about celebrity spokespeople for diet plans like Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers: that they get paid gobs (about $30,000 per pound they lose) and they don’t really follow the plans they promote (personal chefs likely contribute more to their weight loss success).

With the success of Jennifer Hudson’s promotion for Weight Watchers, the trend of celebrities shilling for these plans is going to continue and grow. Jessica Simpson is going to be paid $3 million dollars to lose her considerable baby weight. Kirstie Ally, too, famously lost weight with Jenny Craig, only to put it all back on, and then lose it all again with her own company’s Organic Liaison diet (a pretty run of the mill, low-fat diet with a dependence on high-priced supplements).

I don’t begrudge these celebrities how great they look and say they feel now that they have “lost the weight.” I also don’t blame them for the money they make–these endorsements work on huge numbers of us, getting us to buy these tired old diet plans that fail 95% of the time. I myself followed Weight Watchers 13 times in 25 years, ending that journey with 100 extra pounds and a broken spirit.

I guess I just don’t find these loud, look-at-me commercials, filled with stunning before and after pictures, very inspiring anymore (the last time I was tricked by one of these endorsements, “Fergie, the Duchess of York” was the spokeswoman for Weight Watchers). They don’t reflect the reality that I have discovered about what it takes to lose weight for the long term. They don’t tell me that it will take time, or that my body needs to heal from years of metabolic damage (brought on by these same diets). They don’t tell me that I have to eat and nourish myself six times a day with protein, vegetable carbohydrates, and healthy fats in order to drop weight. They also don’t cause me to challenge a belief system–filled with messages like “lose 40 pounds by summer”–that promises a quick fix. I searched for a quick fix for most of my adult life. For this problem of weight, one does not exist.

So who does inspire me? I meet inspiring people every day who are taking risks by going against the grain and challenging the information sold by these tired, failing diet plans. Katherine from Andover, Minnesota who lost 100 pounds on Slimgenics, and has gained all but 10 pounds of it back. She is now looking for a better way to deal with this complex problem. Or, Mary from Cottage Grove who was a dieter her whole life and who expresses regret for modeling this behavior to her two daughters–one obese and one dangerously thin. She is now showing them there is a better way to lose weight and be healthy. These are real people with real, inspiring stories. I don’t know about you, but I’ve left the fantasy of easy, fabulous, quick-fix weight loss promises behind. For me, reality is inspiring.

Who inspires you? Leave a comment.

My “not fat” son and I walking in Paris.

male at this age–thin everywhere with a ponch in the middle. He looks exactly like both of my brothers did at that age, right before they shot up and became tall and thin. I also know that I am doing my damnedest to ensure that he eats real foods in balance so he doesn’t develop a weight problem.

Whether or not he has earned the moniker “fat” is beside the point.  The fact that we have such a toxic attitude about extra weight in this culture is the point. Because of this attitude, I have been waiting for this day–the day when my son would hear the f-word used to describe himself and the inevitable pain it would cause him. I knew it was coming. Having endured years of cruel epithets from the same kind of boys who are calling him names, I know how cutting and damaging these comments are to his tender little spirit.

When I go and speak with people taking the Nutrition 4 Weight Loss series, I see and hear the pain that being called fat has caused so many of them. When I was obese, I felt invisible. Invisible, that is, until I would hear a cruel “hey fatty” yelled from a car window, or see the numbers on the scale under the disapproving eye of a nurse. Or, most humiliatingly, “waddle, waddle” being yelled at me by a group of boys from the back of my son’s school bus. Do these people have any idea what their casual cruelty does to people?

I have been very cool in dealing with the boys at my kid’s school. After all, I have 25 years of experience being called fat and that brings a lot of baggage with it. Baggage that would be unfair to unleash on 9-year-old kids. So, I deftly (according to my husband) handled the situation with politely worded emails to the parents and his teacher. I made it very clear what was said and by whom in the spirit of “clarity and fairness.” To their credit, I got no “boys will be boys” from anyone, but only cooperative, responsive action. The situation is better, thank goodness.

However, if I am honest with myself, I want to take a scorched Earth policy toward this flavor of cruelty. It is so damaging to people. When I think of some of the comments made by Roman B. in 3rd grade (whale!) or Jeff K. on the bus in middle school (made earthquake noises as I walked up the bus aisle), tears well up in my eyes to this day. I can’t remember the name of my best friend from third grade, but I can give you the names of every one of my tormentors and their stock-and-trade insults. Sad.

So, navigating these waters as a parent is awful. I know I can’t protect him from all the bullies out there with fat jokes in their arsenals. What I can do is be honest with him and empathize with how he feels. I kept most of my exchanges with bullies to myself. At least I know that he will come to me if this happens again.

So on that note, I have a great recipe site to share with you. Theroadfromfattofit.blogspot.com offers many great low carb recipes, and better yet, she takes your old high carb favorites and offers low carb versions (pizza with a meat crust!). She also takes great photos of ingredients and each step of the process. I so appreciate the work involved in this illustration. I have tried many of the recipes, and they have been delicious. The blog offers a crock pot recipes as well.

Check it out. Tell me about a favorite recipe site you have used!

Chicken and bacon crock pot stew

While sitting in cafes, walking around, and riding the Metro, I had a lot of time to observe the notorious lack of overweight and obese people. Everyone seems to have heard of the French Paradox, whereby the French maintain their lean bodies while eating fat and drinking wine. (Any of you who have been reading know, I lost weight largely by embracing fat in my diet like the French.). One statistic I read has the average French person eating 1 pound of fat per day! Take that low-fat diet gurus.

So what do the French have that we don’t? A food culture that’s what. They learn how to eat very well, naturally–and good food is all around them. I noticed that the eggs in the convenience store on our street were all organic, with yolks of deep orange. I couldn’t buy a crappy egg if I tried.

They also learn from a very early age to eat protein, carbs, and fat in balance to keep themselves satisfied and lean. Meals also are lingered over and enjoyed, unlike our fast food culture.

So people like me, who gain weight easily, never really get the chance to do so. Instead of the largely processed and corn-based I ate for years, a diet that “turned – on” my fat genes, these potential fat French people are surrounded by a food culture that supports them staying lean.

All this said, I am fairly certain that I have gained weight on this trip. Despite my expectations that living and eating like the French would have the exact opposite effect. Right? Despite all the walking and good food, another dominant French tradition–the boulanger and patisserie shops on every corner (bread and pastry)–caused a tidal wave of cravings for me. Unlike those potential French fat people, my craving cycles are almost as old as I am, and eating well is still a relatively new thing for me (3 years out of my 40). I don’t know how to eat bread and pastry in moderation.

So, I return to my life and I will do what I preach; get back on the low-carb wagon and begin again. Each of these food relapses gives me a chance to rediscover what works for me in losing weight and keeping it off. It is as if I am teaching myself a foreign language. Just as I stumbled when I used my French in Paris, I am going to continue to stumble on my weight loss journey.

I would love to hear about how travel has changed your perspective on food and eating.

Frogs legs provençal


Walking a lot on the ancient streets of Paris

I will be on Dishing Up Nutrition next Saturday talking about family obesity, so I hope you can tune in or podcast.

Also, if you were alarmed by the new study that says people who eat meat die earlier than those who don’t, don’t be. Read the new post from Gary Taubes that picks apart the science.

Have a great few weeks!

Then it came to the inevitable question, “Well, what should we be eating?” Dr. Popper proceeded to recommend a diet extremely low in fat, no animal protein, high in whole grains, with lots of vegetables. “Ugh,” I thought. I had followed many diets that had these low fat and no protein recommendations. These extreme diets were a big part of the reason that I felt starved for much of my life, and they contributed to my 100-pound weight gain.

I know better now. I know that I must eat protein, carbs and healthy fats IN BALANCE to lose weight and feel good. When listening to this extreme diet advice, my mind immediately went to all of the obese and overweight people listening who, in the absence of really good nutritional advice, would think this ultra-low fat, high carb path is the way to weight loss and health. I thought of the months they will waste trying this approach before their cravings get so out of control that they can’t take it anymore, go back to their old eating habits, and feel terrible about themselves yet again for their lack of willpower. This self-shaming place is where these extreme diets lead overweight people to.

Everyone remembers the “cabbage soup diet.” When I mention it while speaking to overweight people, I always get knowing laughter and usually a story or two about the perils of following this diet. But these kinds of extreme diets have not gone away; they are just hiding behind other names and concepts: all plant-based diet, raw vegan diets, intermittent fasting diets, extremely low-carb diets, etc.

Whenever you hear people talking about extremes in anything, especially diet, run. Seek a more balanced approach that will address not just your weight problem, but also your other health concerns (sleep, skin, etc.). Set out to lose weight in a quiet, gentle way without a lot of bombast or extremes. You will be happier while you lose the weight, and you have a better chance of succeeding over the long term.

Tell me about extreme diets you have been on. Leave a comment!