Sassafrass 2.0

Wait, Who is This?!

2015-01-26T16:56:00.000-11:00

Occasionally in life, things happen that make you think "why me?" I'm certain I have those days more often than others and lately it's to the point that a friend has been begging me to start blogging again. I think I should be offended, but my compass has always been a little off.

It's no secret that I've been in/out of a couple of relationships in the last year. Which is actually really hilarious considering I usually go years without a boyfriend. When it comes to breakups, I'm the "out of sight, out of mind" kind of gal. As soon as I can get rid of all the evidence that the relationship happened, the better. This includes deleting his phone number. Once or twice, this has come back to bite me in the ass. Which brings me to last weekend...

There I was, taking a post-dinner nap on a Friday night, being the wild-woman that I am. I wake up to a text from an unknown number that says something to the effect of "Ok if I say hi?" The ex and I broke up on mutual terms and I still have nothing but love for him so of course I said yes. We exchange texts for 5-10 minutes and his birthday is right around the corner and I know he's having a hard time with it so I ask if he's ready...

Turns out my OTHER ex-bf from this year also has a birthday coming up and this is who I've been talking to the whole time. Unfortunately, we did not breakup on those same friendly terms and I was less than pleased to be having the conversation. Lucky for him, I was too shocked to say anything I would have probably said otherwise.

What I want to know is who else does this stuff happen to?!

Break-up? Perk Up!

2015-01-07T16:16:00.002-11:00

I don't know if you know this, but I'm kind of a big deal when it comes to relationships not happening and not working out. A professional, if you will. Here are a few tried & true methods, sure to get you back on the saddle in no time!

1. Cry. Let yourself be completely consumed by the feels. Hiding it helps nothing. Plus, sometimes people bring you presents if you're extra sad.

2. Drink. I'm partial to wine and vodka, but any booze will do. To adequately get through the process, you should at least be drinking the equivalent of a bottle of wine per night for the first 2 weeks. If you're me, it's the first month. If you're smart, you'll make friends with your local liquor store clerk so you can spare the judgement and speed through the line.

3. Move on. Now that you've allowed yourself to be swept up in your emotions and consumed enough booze to fuel a frat during pledge week, you're ready to move on. May I suggest a venture down the yellow brick road of online dating? Any of the sites are an easy way to see who's on the market without really having to put yourself out there. Dip a toe in. See how it feels!

BUT I should warn you: trying any of those may result in you being forced to start over with the crying and the drinking. It's not pretty out there in the dating world. And the grammar? Ooooh the grammar...

This is Thirty?

2015-01-04T12:17:00.000-11:00

You're supposed to spend your twenties having fun and figuring out life so that you're not a complete and total disaster in your thirties, right? Somehow I missed that memo. Instead, I sit here in my studio apartment, surrounded by neighbors who partake in Marijuana Monday and Weed Wednesday seven days a week. I'm recovering from not one, but two relationships ending in the past 12 months. I've lived in OKC for 3 years and I only know like 3 people. And, thanks to shitty insurance coverage, just racked up a load of medical bills.

On the plus side, I'm a mere 4lbs from my high school weight. Take that all you Freshman 15-ers! Nailed it.

So what's next? Beats the hell out of me, but I'm along for the ride.

30 Before 30: Doin' Werk

2013-04-01T12:43:00.003-11:00

Good news! Today marks Day 1 of a few of my 30 Before 30 list items:

#9: Do 50 Push-Ups... At One Time

1. Why? I have ZERO upper body strength. I have to concentrate really hard to even flex my left bicep. Did you just get embarrassed for me? It's cool. In case you're wondering, I tested my skills on Saturday night. I finished 1.5 push-ups. My mom did 8. I suck.

2. How? Several people have told me it's gonna be tough. I get that, but I have a plan! My theory is that there 52 weeks in a year so if I start now and add 1 push-up a week, I'll be Muscles McGee by May 8, 2014.

Hopefully it'll help me develop a little more core strength too. I'll be damned if I can't manage a headstand at Christmas next year...

#13: Read 10 Books - Half of Which Must Be Classics

1. You can read? I can, in fact, read. Probably even faster than you. Wanna race?

2. What am I reading? "Here I Go Again..." by Jen Lancaster. Clearly it's not one of the classics, but she's a pretty hilarious author.

3. Has Ms. Lancaster written anything else? Duh. A couple of my favorites: Bitter is the New Black; Bright Lights, Big Ass; and Such A Pretty Fat. Check her out!

#27: Give Up Drinking Pop For a Whole Year.

1. My weakness? Pepsi.

2. Why is this so important to me? In high school, I gave up pop for the 40 days of Lent and ended up not drinking it for 2 years. Then I started drinking rum & cokes. Lots and lots of rum & cokes. Then I'd get up and have a Pepsi to help calm my hangover. It's time to get healthy and ditch the sodas again. A small step toward lookin GOOOOD when I round the corner to 30. Boom!

3. What am I going to miss the most? Obvi Pepsi is high on that list, but I'm also going to miss Cherry Limeades from Sonic. Summertime isn't quite the same without 'em!

Thank You, Mr. President(s)

2013-02-19T13:31:00.000-11:00

Unless you are currently living under a rock, you probably know that Monday was President's Day. This means that the stock markets were closed and I got pretty much the PERFECT end to my long weekend of moving. You have no idea how much I needed to not go back to work right away. First up: I'm so incredibly thankful that my parents are still willing to help me move after all these years! That being said, if I don't stay at this apartment for at least 2 years, I'm probably going to be disowned soon.

Fireplace & Puppy Corner

View from my couch

My lovely little kitchen and bathroom

This little place is cute as a button and I'm so excited to be living so much closer to Downtown, Midtown, and the Plaza District! Seriously - I'm just a hop, skip, and a jump from all the good stuff!

So what did I do to recover from the crazy weekend? SLEPT IN! It's been so long since I got to stay in bed until I felt like getting out of it... so obviously I had to take full advantage. After moseying out of bed, I FINALLY got to try out Kitchen #324. For months now, I have drooled over photos and Twitter posts showcasing their dishes without having a chance to sample them myself. Since we were both off work, the manfriend (first mentioned here) suggested we try it out. Uhhhh.... DELICIOUS. Do yourself a favor and eat there often.

While we were downtown, we decided to head down to the Oklahoma City National Memorial and Museum. I had never gone and walked around the Memorial and neither of us had ever been to the museum. I assumed we'd be in and out of the museum in 30 minutes or so. Wrong. If you've never been, remedy that. The museum starts out on the morning of April 19, 1995 and takes you through the entire, tragic day and the days following. A somber visit for sure, but totally worth it.

So my dear, past Presidents - thank you for being awesome enough to get me a day off work and an extra day to explore this beautiful place they call Oklahoma City.

To Valentine Or Not To Valentine

2013-02-14T07:20:00.000-11:00

Let's discuss Valentine's Day for a second. I'm all for people being in love and loving the people in their lives, don't get me wrong. What I don't enjoy is the commercialness of this particular holiday. You mean to tell me that if I don't buy a card or a gift or some generic, overpriced flowers, then I don't REALLY care? Shenanigans.

This is how we used to celebrate VD back in the day. Old pub crawl shirts and copious amounts of booze.

That being said, my Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are BLOWING UP with photos and celebratory activities so clearly you all like that sort of thing. So my gift to you all? Several people have suggested lately that I start going on some blind dates so that I will have plenty of blogs to write. While I think it's a great idea, the guy I've been seeing the past couple months said he'd prefer I not do it. Whaaa?!?! You read right, folks. In the event that you're feeling incredibly let down by the lost potential for bad date stories, he has offered to take me on awful dates in order to amuse you all. Sweet, right?!

For now, that's all the juicy gossip you're going to get. If he happens to make it a little longer, I'll try to be nice to the creeper in all if us and share more.

Until then, Happy Valentine's Day, kiddos!

More Excuses with Sassafrass

2013-02-10T11:16:00.000-11:00

Remember me?!?! I'm the girl that fed you lies about how I was going to start blogging all the time once my life slowed down? Also the same girl who hasn't blogged in a month? I swear that one of these days I'll pull my shit together.

I spent 2 of my January Saturdays in Wichita. First was a baby shower for Baby McGuire with a little extra time spent with the girls while I was there. I just don't ever get to spend enough time with them. If I could figure out how to change that, I would do it in a heartbeat. The second trip was just as fun, but slightly more exhausting. I don't know if you've been to a 5 year old's birthday party recently, but those kiddos be cray. I was practically praying for a nap before heading back to OKC.

What else is new? I'm moving next weekend! This will be the 15th time I have submitted a Change of Address form to the United States Post Office since 2002. I should have bought stock in cardboard and packing tape years ago. The good news is that my family and I are professionals by now. We can have the trailer loaded and unloaded in an hour. Wham. Bam. Thank you, ma'am. The good news is that the new place comes with an extra bedroom and completely remodeled kitchen and bathroom. A few MUCH NEEDED improvements from my current living situation, fo sho. Remember that whole "flooded apartment" incident from December? Nightmare.

Mother's Day Tea 2012

I'm going to save the details for another post, but Katie came down from Kansas this weekend to visit. You may remember her from a guest post she did here on Sass back in March. (Re-read it here.) To tide you over for a bit until that post is up and running, my friend Marek has a fabulous blog where she posted about our Friday night shenanigans. If you're smart (and I know you are) you'll check it out!

OKC, I Think We're Going To Be Friends

2013-01-08T13:31:00.001-11:00

Are you guys disappointed in me? I made all those empty promises about how I'd start blogging on the regular once I passed my tests and here it's been almost 2 weeks without a post. I'm such an ass. That being said, you wouldn't even believe how busy I've been being awesome! My first 2 weekends sans studying have been so great. I can't tell you how long it's been since I felt like a normal{ish} person.

{Weekend 1}
Friday ::: Drinks and fabulous conversation with Carlie.
Saturday ::: Slept in til 10:00 a.m., didn't get out of bed until 11:30 a.m., went shopping and found amazing deals, met up with Sally and her family for afternoon drinks, went on a spur-of-the-moment helicopter ride over the city {badass, right?!}, and went out for drinks and dancing with Taylor and Carlie.
Sunday ::: Brunch with my 2 partners in crime and a lazy day of movie watching.

OKC is WAY bigger from the sky than I ever imagined!

{New Year's Day}
Much to my surprise, I woke up to a text message from one of my besties, saying that her water had broken and she was at the hospital. Sally went into labor almost 2 weeks early and, at 8:02 p.m., out came Easton Jacob. I'm seriously in love!

{Weekend 2}
Thursday ::: K-State played in the Fiesta Bowl so obviously I had to set up shop in a bar somewhere to watch it. As it turns out, "watch it" meant drink my sorrows away at the tragic loss. On the plus side, Marek stopped by on her way home from accomplishing another of her 30 Before 30 goals (Read about it here) to entertain me while I was waiting for Carlie to show up.
Friday ::: It might have been a touch of the 3.2 flu, but I wasn't feeling well so I stayed in to rest up.
Saturday ::: A night out at Grandad's Bar with friends. It was only our first time there, but I'm pretty sure we're going to become regulars. A super chill, smoke-free bar? Alright, alright... twist my arm why don'tcha?!
Sunday ::: Ah, the day of rest. I watched a little tv, took a little nap, and snuck in a little more snuggle time with my new boo, Easton.

Kids - stay tuned. I can already tell I'm going to have SO MANY shenanigans to tell you about!

I Did It! I Did It!

2012-12-27T13:42:00.001-11:00

Here it is! The post I've been waiting to write for a year now... I have FINALLY passed all 4 of the licensing exams I've been studying for! I'm not going to bore you with explanations of each of them because there's a large possibility that you still won't have the slightest clue what I do. All you really need to know is....

Melissa + Licenses = Badass

Disclaimer: I realize that I'm not the only person to have ever passed these tests. I also realize that some people may have breezed through these when they took them. There are a lot of people that are more licensed that I am. That being said, these were really hard for me. The subject matter was completely foreign when I started. (Seriously, I started with Series 7 For Dummies so I could learn the terminology first.) I had zero background info from college to reference. I absorb information very quickly in a classroom setting, but very slowly when I'm responsible for teaching it to myself. People would try to help by letting me know that they thought some of them were really easy, but, instead, it would frustrate me because I was struggling so much.

So I will celebrate the shit out of this victory. I will smile at a completely random time because I will have just remembered how hard I worked for this. I will go out and make all the friends I want to because I didn't do it before. I will go on dates. (Watch out OKC - I'm comin' for ya!)

Before I get too far into this celebratory bottle of wine, here's the last year in numbers:

7 - Series 7 licensed (I wrote about it here)

66 - Series 66 licensed

1 - Certificate with my Oklahoma State Insurance License, printed all fancy pants

3 - Series 3 licensed

370 - approximate # of practice tests I've taken

3 - # of times it took me to pass the Series 7 because I didn't realize how hard I had to study

6 - days a week I went to the library

6 - days I spent in Houston attending a cram class for the Series 7 (& visiting Taylor)

24 - the approximate # of hours I've spent in testing centers this year

400 - # of index cards used as flash cards

5 - # of notebooks full of notes

17 - # of weeks Foursquare says I checked in at the library - the real # is significantly higher.

700 - the approximate # of hours I spent studying

500 - cups of coffee I've had while studying (this is very approx, but prob very close)

7 - # of celebratory bottles of wine I've consumed.... so far. :)

So you see, this is a VERY big deal for me. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! to those of you that talked me off of ledges each time I had a stress-induced meltdown.... to those of you that said "I knew it!" after I passed each test... to those of you that understood when I had to be a loser and go to the library instead of doing fun things... for all of the kind and encouraging words as I struggled my way through it all!

Now? Party time!

Just Call Me Peter Pan

2012-12-11T17:22:00.002-11:00

I'm 28. As a 28 year old, I like to cruise around the interwebs on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and the myriad of blogs I like to read. Can I just say....

Uhh... everyone is so grown up! What with their marriages and their kids and their home ownership and their 2nd marriages and their couples vacations.

I mean, I recently posted a fart story on my Facebook page for goodness sake! (P.S. If you haven't read THIS story - do yourself a favor and do it! Mortifyingly hilarious!) I'm just hoping I'll be mature enough to maintain a gym membership for the full contract period by the time I'm 30***. What's with the rush to turn into your parents?!

*** For the record, I got really close last time!

Life is Good

2012-12-09T07:06:00.000-11:00

You guys! So much has happened lately and {most of} it has been wonderful!

“You live but once; you might as well be amusing.”
― Coco Chanel

1. For starters, I passed another one of my licensing exams. Boomshakalaka! If you're counting, that means I only have 1 left and I'm a free woman. I'll have so much free time for activities! Which leads into my next GOOD, GREAT, AND FANTASTIC NEWS!

2. My dear little friend, Taylor is moving back to OKC in January! I think this situation is exactly what Peaches and Herb were singing about - "Reunited and it feeeeels so gooood." Just as I'm ready to have a life again, my P.I.C. moves back. We're going to fuck so much shit up and it's going to be awesome.

3. You know what's cool about being 28? Everyone I know is knocked up. That means a never-ending supply of designated drivers. Plus, when it's all said and done, I get to be "Aunt Mel" a bunch of times. I get to pass on my infinite wisdom to someone else's kiddo and then go home while their parents are left to deal with the aftermath. Sally and Abby - I can't wait for your little guys to get here so I can snuggle the hell out of them!

4. Now for the not-awesome thing that happened. My apartment flooded last week. There was a part malfunction in the upstairs apartment's toilet tank and boy did it malfunction. I got a call from my complex and came home to it raining from my ceiling. AWFUL. On the plus side, the fans drying out the carpet allowed me the opportunity to see this:

At first I thought she was annoyed, but then I'd find her standing in front of it for no reason. Sometime a gal just needs to let loose and feel a little wind in her hair. :)

* Sorry 'bout the language, Mom.*

10 Things I'm Thankful For

2012-11-20T16:48:00.001-11:00

Some are pretty standard…. Others are not.

1. My family. We are large and in charge. No seriously. I have a mom, dad, step-mom, step-dad, 1 sister, 2 brothers, 2 step-sisters, 3 step-brothers, 3 sister-in-laws, 3 step-nieces, 3 step-nephews, and another little nugget on the way. If you’re counting, that’s 23 including me and that’s just my immediate family. It’s awesome.

Source

2. My friends. There’s not enough room in this little bloggity to tell you every reason that I love them…. college, relationships, roommates, two stepping at “the bar in the mall”, that one crazy summer, eating eggs out of Solo cups on game day, that one crazy Thursday, skype dates, weddings, first homes, babies (theirs – not mine), and everything else I just don’t have the space to list.

3. My dogs. Murphy and Lillie are the Hall to my Oates. The Michael to my Bolton. The Snoop to my Dogg. I am just as excited to see them when I come home as they are to see me. They have made my life in 2 new cities bearable. They are my children and they will outlive me because that’s what children do. Don’t you dare try to tell me otherwise.

4. The opportunity to be a graduate of Kansas State University. My decision to go there wasn’t very thought out and I just kind of followed my friends. Luckily, it turned out that it was exactly where I was supposed to be. Go State!

5. A roof over my head and food on my table. It’s no secret that I hate my apartment and most of the stuff in it, but every night, I get to come home to a warm bed. I have a kitchen with food in it. It might be a bunch of frozen, microwavable, college kid food, but I never go to bed hungry.

6. Reynolds' crock pot liners. I guarantee you just did 1 of 2 things after reading that: You either laughed because you think I’m being ridiculous or, if you’ve used them, you probably nodded your head and said a little “Amen.”

7. All of the jobs I’ve ever had in my lifetime. Which, for the record, is a lot. I’ve been so blessed to always have a place to work. I’ve been even more blessed to work with wonderful people that I will always take with me to new jobs. Well not literally. I don’t have a bunch of hostages in my laundry room or anything. That’d be weird… and my laundry room is super small.

8. My inability to draw and my man-ish handwriting. Those have always gotten me out of doing a lot of stupid crap. That being said, I have the weird ability to do really awesome crap that doesn't benefit anyone, like make pub crawl t-shirts and fake business logos.

For all of your "vajazzling needs!

9. My faith. It’s not something that I typically talk about a lot. Here’s what I will say – Life is hard. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. Bars run out of green beer on St. Patrick’s Day. None of it’s fair, but it happens. My faith gets me through it.

10. The fact that I’ve always been scared of getting in trouble. If you think I’m a handful now (Mom), just think of what could have been… ya welcome!

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

Give More Than You Get

2012-11-13T17:57:00.000-11:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my existence on this earth. I don't mean that in a "feel sorry for me - feed me compliments" sort of way. What I'm trying to say is that I don't DO anything. I don't play sports. I don't have hobbies (other than blogging, I suppose). I can't sing or dance. My artistic abilities are equal with the old pictures you gave your mom in kindergarten. My dogs are fun, but they aren't well trained. I'm an awful driver. Am I getting carried away? Before I give you anymore reasons to never speak to me again, I think you see what I'm talking about. The biggest shame of all is that the one thing I actually consider myself passionate about, I don't even do that often!

One day in college, I asked myself "What would you do if you didn't have to do anything?" Without much hesitation, "volunteer" is what came out. As it turns out, volunteering doesn't actually pay the bills, so I geared my degree toward working for non-profit organizations. In the last 10 years, I've worked and volunteered for several of them. Long story short, I've now launched myself into a new career path in the last year that has nothing to do with my passion. When I made the move, I thought a lot about what it meant for me to move from the non-profit sector to the for-profit sector. In the end, I decided that maybe changing jobs means that ultimately I'll be able to do more. Or maybe I was just trying to make myself feel better. I suppose that remains to be seen.

“Do something for somebody every day for which you do not get paid.”
--- Albert Schweitzer

If you follow this blog even a little, you know that my free time has been limited this year. Now that I see a light at the end of the tunnel, I'm really starting to think about where I want to devote my time. The problem? I literally look at every organization and think "I could help there! I might like that! Ohh I've always wanted to help this group!" I could do something I've done in the past, but maybe there's someplace else that needs me more. Being this scattered with my interests won't help anyone. Trust me - it takes a lot of work to train volunteers and it's super frustrating when they only show up once (or never). I'm thinking I pick 2 for now and see how it works out. Maybe one that I'm genuinely passionate about and then one that's a little different than something I've ever considered before.

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer event in Topeka, KS

So here's my question to you - What are some of your favorite organizations? Are there any organizations close to your heart that you think I should look into?

Deep Thoughts... (Kind of)

2012-11-07T15:45:00.000-11:00

I needed a bit of a sanity break from studying tonight so I figured a posty post on my bloggy blog would be a solid replacement. If you'll indulge me, it's been awhile since I did a list of randomness and I'm feeling a tad random.

1. I'm watching Breakfast at Tiffany's right now and would like to put a request out into the universe for someone to buy me her wardrobe.

2. While I'm putting hopeful requests out into the universe, I'd also like someone to send me to watch K-State play in the National Championship game (I have complete faith that it's going to happen) in Miami. I would be MORE than happy to write a sponsored blog post about it. It's the least I could do. Think about it.

3. I'm ridonkulously excited that the election is over. Not because I'm in love/hate with the outcome, but because I'm not a fan of politics. The hatred, ignorance, and childish behavior that continues to dominate my social media is almost more than I can handle. In case you all forgot, the old saying still rings truer than true - United We Stand, Divided We Fall.

(Source)

4. Last week marked 1 year since I came down to OKC to start working. The trouble is, I can't decide if it's been the shortest year or the longest year of my life. Either way, I'm looking forward to what the future brings!

5. I greatly miss being in Manhattan on game days. Down here, it's a struggle to find a bar that will show the K-State game and getting sound with it is a rarity. I miss being surrounded by people that get just as excited as I do when Tyler Lockett runs in a 45 yard touchdown.

On that note -

To you grown-ass men that feel it's appropriate to boo me and kindly suggest that I move back to Kansas - Grow up. Seriously.

Halftime of the KSU vs Texas Tech game.

6. I'm perplexed by the fact that legalizing marijuana was on the ballots and won. I mean, our country is a hot mess right now and yet we've got all the time in the world to concern ourselves with smoking pot? Nice priorities, 'Mericuh.

MHK: My Home Away From Home

2012-10-24T17:04:00.001-11:00

It's no secret that I'm a little obsessed with the Kansas State Wildcats and all things purple. I never used to think so until I moved to Oklahoma and it was pointed it out to me every day at work.

Case in point: One game-day-Saturday a couple of weeks ago, I woke up and put on my K-State shirt, with my K-State hoodie, my purple Botny earrings, and my purple Chuck's. I drank my coffee out of my K-State alumni mug while typing on my purple laptop. I poured more coffee into a K-State travel mug. I sent a text on my phone with a powecat screensaver before getting in my car, which has an alumni plate on the front and a chrome powercat on the back. All before I painted on a giant powercat on a pumpkin while watching the K-State vs KU football game. Let's not forget to mention the wonderful purpleyness of this blog!

The powercat and I need a moment.

Yes, that was a game day, but it's not all that different from a normal day for me. I know some of you that know me are thinking "Melissa - you don't even know what a wide receiver does." Well that's true, but if I had to take a stab at it, I'd guess he goes out wide and receives the ball? Anyway, that's not the point... or is it? I've been out of college for 5 years now and I'm really starting to realize how much I took my time there for granted. I spent a significant amount of time inside of bars and bellied up to Pizza Hut buffet the mornings after. Neither of which I regret! What I do regret is not taking more pride in my school and my community while I was there. I assure you, I feel more of a connection with my alma mater now than I ever did during my 5 years (don't judge me) in college.

Also, I a little bit regret skipping class all those times to stay home and watch Dawson's Creek & Saved By The Bell re-runs, but I should probably save that for another time. I bet my parents are super happy they didn't pay for my college when I say stuff like that...

This summer I made the decision that this is the year I really start to pay attention to K-State sports. Partially because I was starting to feel like a giant poser saying "I'm a K-State fan" while knowing the names of only 2 K-State athletes, but also because I'm part of the K-State family and I'd do anything for my family! Wouldn't you?! Since I've known them, my college girlfriends have been able to sit around and have manly sports conversations and, dammit, it was time for me to get manly too! Err... uh... well, you get the picture. So I've stuck to my word and have tried to read the sports articles and follow along with games on the radio / tv. Do I get what's going on? No, not entirely. Am I bored like I have been in the past? Not at all! I actually enjoy way more when I pay attention. It doesn't hurt that the year I decided to follow along is the year that K-State is currently voted #3 in the NATION!

So all of that rambling was leading up to this - - -> I am so crazy excited to get to go back to Manhattan this weekend for the K-State vs Texas Tech game! My favorite part of game day used to be the tailgating, which let's be honest, I still LOVE! But the real thing I get excited about now is standing there in Bill Snyder Family Stadium and hearing Ozzy Osbourne laugh and then Crazy Train starts blaring over the speakers and all the players run out onto the field. If you've ever been to a game, you know exactly what I'm talking about it gives me goosebumps every. single. time.

Rain or shine, you gotta be ready to tailgate.

Remember Me?

2012-10-23T14:32:00.000-11:00

I'm a turd.

As you know, the best of this blog is comprised of my ~~awkward~~ stories and experiences. Since I've been dedicating all of my waking hours to work and studying, I've had ZERO good stories for you. The good news is that I've passed 2 of my licensing tests and I only have 2 left. If everything goes like I'd like it to, I will be completely done by Christmas and all will be right with the world! I sincerely hope you'll bear with me just a bit longer.

That being said, last weekend I had 2 friends come visit and it was a MUCH NEEDED breath of fresh air! I should probably make a public apology to them for using this picture. I was wanting to text a picture to a friend so I said "Hey guys, get together. Do something douche-y." This is what they came up with.

We spent the day bumming around Bricktown and then we met up with the local chapter of the K-State Alumni Association to watch the Wildcats DOMINATE West Virginia. Welcome to the Big 12, chumps. After the game, we had to stop and play a little bar Jenga. Turns out, I'm really terrible at Jenga and I'm certain it had nothing to do with the 12 beers I had that day.

Thank you so so so much for coming to visit!

I got in a quick nap after they left and then it was time to THUNDER UP for my first OKC Thunder game. My good friend is fortunate enough to have season tickets and I'm even more fortunate that she gave me those tickets for Sunday night's preseason game vs the Denver Nuggets. Luckily, Erin and Rachael were nice enough to take those extra tickets off my hands.

(Instagram photo courtesy of @pippinpearl)

She said she had good seats, but Taylor never told me that her seats were right next to the Superfan! Thank goodness he kept it classy and kept those nipples covered. I'm convinced he's the reason that the Nuggets were only shooting about 50% on their free throws.

(Instagram photo courtesy of @rachaelreally)

Also, I'm thinking that when all my crazy testing is over with, I need to start going to more of these Thunder games. I mean, look at the sea of potential eye candy right here... err... I mean, GO THUNDER!

Until next time, friends! I'll try to come back soon!

I Fell in Love... With Beer & Chocolate

2012-09-27T00:42:00.000-11:00

You know what I like? Beer. And chocolate. This should come as no surprise. What I didn’t know is that beer and chocolate together are AMAZING! Last week, I had the (fortunate) opportunity to attend the 3rd leg of the “Beer Dinner Road Trip 2012”. In honor of the re-release of their fall Harvest Lager, Oklahoma’s very own Mustang Brewing Company paired up with 42nd Street Candy Company for a beer and chocolate tasting.

4 beers + 7 chocolates = HEAVEN!

First off, let me tell you about the location. If you’ve never been to 42nd Street Candy Co, shame on you. With its large variety of sugary sweets and seasonal home décor, you can’t possibly leave without an extra spring in your step. If any of you are planning an event any time soon, they also do gift baskets and candy buffets. I have a giant sweet tooth so I think a candy buffet might be one of the greatest inventions of this century. As I mentioned earlier, you know what goes great with candy? Beer!

When I first moved to Oklahoma, Mustang Brewing Company was the first local beer I heard about. The chance to go sample several of them at one time was a like an early Christmas present to my liver. The first beer of the tour was the Session 33. I’m not going beat around the bush - this is a very easy beer to like. One sip and I was already wishing I had a cooler sitting next to me and body of water in front of me. It’s summer in a bottle, folks. The Session 33 was paired with an orange bark ganache coated in dark chocolate and a 38% chocolate bar. Both were delicious, but I kind of preferred the beer solo.

Number two was the Harvest Lager. I was the most nervous about this one because I don’t do lagers. That being said, Mustang Brewing Co made a liar out of me. This stuff is the bomb.com. It’s light and smooth and if you tried it blindfolded, you’d never know it was a dark beer. This beer has rich chocolate, coffee, and caramel undertones and the flavor is crazy good. This treat was paired with a piece of coffee-flavored dark chocolate and a salted caramel covered in dark chocolate. I just started to drool thinking about it. YUM!

Wheat beers are all the rage these days so naturally, Mustang Brewing had to one-up the rest of them by using Oklahoma Red Wheat for their Washita Wheat. The red wheat gives it a slightly tangy flavor with a hint of pear. It’s possible that I polished off a six pack of this while listening to K-State dominate the Miami Hurricanes. (Go Cats!) A melt-in-your-mouth tiramisu cordial was the treat with this one. Tiramisu liquor? In chocolate? Consider my arm twisted.

The fourth and final beer was Brandy’s Imperial Sundae. This Porter packs a punch at 9.1% alcohol and is a limited edition brew that has been blended with brandy, cognac, and vanilla. Paired with a cognac-infused truffle, the combo could knock you on your tail in no time!

So I know you’re sitting there, trying to figure out how I became the judge and jury of all things beer and chocolate. The truth is, I don’t know a lot about beer (other than that I like it, of course). I spent some time on the Mustang Brewing Co website ahead of time and I’ve spent the last ~~ten~~ seven years consuming my fair share of the stuff, but that’s the extent of my credentials. What I learned from this alcohol-fueled trip through Willy Wonka’s factory is that up until now, I’ve put myself into a VERY small beer box. (Slight pun intended.) Next time you hit up a liquor store or your local watering hole, I encourage you to order something other than the generic beer. You may find yourself pleasantly surprised like I was!

Find them here:
Mustang Brewing Co.
Online: website / twitter / facebook
On Instagram: @mustangbrewing

42nd Street Candy Company
In person: 4200 N. Western Ave, Oklahoma City, OK 73118
Online: facebook

This is a sponsored post; Mustang Brewing Co. and 42nd Street Candy hosted me at this event as a member of Engage OKC, but all words and opinions are my own.

Sometimes A Blog Just Wants To Feel Beautiful

2012-09-20T13:34:00.001-11:00

Secret's out! Sassafrass 2.0 got a much needed face lift! I am seriously excited about how it turned out! I really liked my old header, but I just needed something a little more polished. And I have been drooling over every one else's social media icons for months now. As it turns out, I'm not HTML savvy enough to figure out how to add them myself. Long story short, I found Tiana on Etsy and in less than 24 hours, you have the new and wonderful Sassafrass!

Next order of business - Thank you to everyone who provided their feedback to my last post. I received quite a few comments and suggestions through Facebook, Twitter, and blog comments. Some of the comments that kept popping up were right in line with the direction I was wanting to take the blog.

BUT you'll just have to wait to see which one's those are!

Let Me Ask You This...

2012-09-18T16:33:00.000-11:00

I've been thinking a lot about my little slice of the interwebs lately. I think it's time for a bit of a change. I've got a few ideas about what I'd like to see it look like, but I wanted to get a little feedback from the beautiful, classy people that actually read it. I'm going to pose a few questions, and if you have any opinion at all, feel free to leave a comment here on the blog, on Facebook, on Twitter, or, if you're feeling REALLY passionate about it, hire a sky-writer and do it that way. The world is your oyster.

I'm just spit-ballin here, but...

Do you like the Sass exactly how it is? Completely random with no schedule or agenda. I could post every day or once a month.
Would you like to see a little uniformity? Perhaps, "Mug Shot Mondays" or "Fun Fact Fridays"? Maybe 1 or 2 guaranteed posts a week and the rest is up to fate?
Are you super pissed that I am not helping you procrastinate enough at work and you would like to demand that I post 5 times a week?
Are you feeling like you aren't getting enough workout tips or pregnancy updates from other blogs and you'd like me to chip in?

Alright, I'm totes kidding about that last one. You're absolutely reading the wrong blog if you're waiting on those two things from me. BUT I think you get the picture. This blog started out as fun little outlet for me, but there seem to be a few of you that actually enjoy it so I'd like to keep you kiddos happy.

If you have an opinion, I'd love to hear it!

Remember when I got this? I miss that lil guy!

What I've Learned

2012-09-03T06:53:00.002-11:00

It's been 1 week since I passed the Series 7. If someone mentions it or I think about it, I'm still doing this:

The celebration can't last too long, though. Next, I have to tackle the Series 66. It covers the state & federal rules and regulations so that I can actually use my Series 7 license. I definitely learned a lot about myself and my habits from the last test so I thought I'd reflect a bit on that before leaving the "7" behind me FOREVER! ::: laughs maniacally :::

It is not okay for me to fail. The word alone just makes me want to punch myself in the face. FAIL. Ugh. If others try something and it doesn't work out, I can genuinely tell them that it's great to have tried and better luck next time. I just have a hard time directing those same words of encouragement inward. I know it's ridiculous and I'm working on it.
I eat A LOT when I study. It doesn't matter if I'm hungry. Also, the junkier, the better: Hot Tamales, Peanut M&Ms, Cheez-Its, ice cream, chips & salsa, Pepsi, coffee, etc. If I don't reign this in soon, by the time I'm done with these tests, you're going to have to roll me out of the testing center.
I don't know how to study. I touched on this one in my last post, but it's such a biggie that it needed to be said again. Cop out or not, this age of technology makes it really easy to have A.D.D. tendencies. It goes a little something like this:

- Chapter 1: FINRA says...

- Oh shoot, I forgot I was going to start laundry.

- (20 minutes later) Ok, back to it. Chapter 1: FINRA says...

- Was that my stomach? I better eat a half box of Cheez-Its quick for brain food.

- Much better! Chapter 1: FINRA says...

- Was that my phone? I bet it's regarding a life or death emergency. I should go check it. The world needs me!

Well, you get the picture. It's rough. For my next 3 tests, I'd like someone to come teach me everything so I don't have to teach it to myself. Any takers?

The Series 7... It's Super Serious

2012-08-28T13:41:00.002-11:00

Is it wrong that the most exciting thing that has probably ever happened to me is the fact that I passed the Series 7 test? Because it is! And I did! I have been seriously freaking out ever since! What most of you don't know is that I had to take it 3 times. Welcome to my journey...

I've never had to study. I could easily absorb information in class and my studying consisted of looking over the material on the way to class. My college degree was chosen partially because I am really passionate about helping people through non-profits, but also because the classes were pretty common-sense based and I could get my degree without having to spend time in class or studying. My natural intelligence has made me incredibly lazy.

A year ago, when I made the choice to change careers and take the steps to get fully licensed, I knew it was going to be difficult. That being said, I think part of me also thought I would just be able to coast by like I always have. When I first started in January, I studied off & on, but never like I should have. I went to Houston for a cram-course, but didn't study at night like I should have. I took my test before I was really ready and missed passing by just 7 questions. So close!

I rescheduled my test for 6 weeks later. I would love to tell you that I buckled down and studied like a fool. Instead, I waited to start studying again until 2 weeks before my test and really only did practice tests online. I figured that I could make up for those 7 questions with little effort & then I'd be free & clear. Instead? I got a much harder test and only scored a 66%. That's 3 points worse than the first time. I was MORTIFIED! What's worse is that it was all my fault. I only had one more chance to pass the test otherwise I'd have to wait 6 months to try again.

After not one, but two huge blows to my ego, I waited almost 2 full months before rescheduling my test. Even then I was so terrified of failing it again that I couldn't make myself study. Eventually, push came to shove and it was time to put my money where my mouth was. I paid $150 to push the test date back and I put on my game face. I worked all day and went to the library at night. My weekends were spent in the library until it closed and then I would come home and study some more. I could not... would not... take it again until I knew, without a doubt, that I would pass.

I didn't go in as confident as I wanted. I knew there was a chance I would pass, but I was pretty sure it was only a 50% chance. During the last 30 minutes of the test, my hands were shaking. I had to take a few moments to sit on my hands, close my eyes, and take some deep breaths. At the end, I hit submit and waited. It was probably only 30 seconds, but it felt like minutes. I thought maybe it was broken. Then there it was. 81%. I thought it was wrong. I was just praying for a 72% and I wasn't even confident I'd get that. Right next to it? The most wonderful word I've ever seen: Pass. I was in such shock that I calmly picked up my stuff and gave it back to the proctors. They gave me my paper and sent me on my merry way.

Still just completely dumbfounded, I slowly walked out to my car and looked at the paper again. I didn't want to call anyone in case I'd looked at it wrong. Nope. Still said those same wonderful words. You know what I did next? I cried. Like a little crybaby. And then I called my Mom... and my Dad... and my job... and text my friends... and put it on Facebook... and on Twitter... and I told the lady at the dog food store... and the liquor store... and if there had been a mountain for me to scream it from, I would have!

4 textbooks, 3 notebooks, a pack of index cards, a week at a cram-course, hundreds of practice tests, hours in the library, and 2 humiliating failed tests.... and I finally conquered the beast. Life is good. God is good.

::: Insert gigantic sigh of relief :::

Keep Your Potty Mouth in the Bathroom

2012-07-09T07:00:00.000-11:00

Sorry Mom, but your daughter

has a big 'ol potty mouth.

I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I think I'm finally ready to use my big girl vocabulary. That's right, folks! I think I'm ready to cut back on the curse words. There's really not anything wrong with their use, but then again, if I wouldn't say it in front of my grandparents, parents, or (future) children, it's probably not really necessary to say.

I keep having visions of me getting a call from an angry, more responsible adult because I taught their/my kiddo to say something inappropriate. While my first inclination might be to laugh, I'm socially aware enough to realize that that's the wrong reaction. This will be trial & error for sure so I might as well start practicing early!

I know you were waiting for it so here's the big BUT: I would say that I'm going to try & quit cursing all together, BUT sometimes there is the need to drop the tactical curse word. Like I always say, "sometimes people don't start to listen until someone drops an F bomb." Sad, but true fact.

So going forward, you, my friends, can feel free to talk as if you have tourettes all you want, but hopefully I'll be able to keep it clean (for the most part).

If Every Mailman Was Like Dave...

2012-07-06T06:00:00.000-11:00

A couple weeks ago, my brother made the comment that I don't have any good stories since I canceled my Match.com membership. While I haven't renewed it, I thought I'd bring back an old Match story for your entertainment. Here's one of my favorites:

Originally posted on April 28, 2011

This has been a pretty happening week on the dating front. Apparently, warm weather (and my milkshake) brings all the boys to the yard. For those of you that haven't dabbled in the world of online dating, I'm going to give you a lovely little glimpse. You. Are. Welcome.

Background: My profile clearly states my age range and height requirements. My written section gives a short little glimpse into my personality. I feel like it's delightfully accurate. So it boggles my mind when guys pay ZERO attention to any of that and try to talk to me while obviously not meeting the aforementioned criteria. That being said, sometimes you get a real gem that will provide a little entertainment in the process. : )

Match.com lets you "wink" at someone that you are interested in. For all you Facebookers, it's like a "poke". It's pointless and never reciprocated by me. As far as I'm concerned, if you want to talk to me, do it. Otherwise, kick rocks homie. But I digress.... Anyway, I received an email from Match.com this week saying that I had a new wink... from Dave the Mailman. Dave happens to be sporting a classy little mullet.

*insert immediate giggling by me*

Dave also happens to be 43... Obviously, I was intrigued enough to check out his profile. I honestly thought it was fake until I realized that he had 18 pictures of himself. One of which was a picture of a picture. *insert more giggling* All of the pics were so dated that I assumed they were from the 80's, but upon doing a little more research, I realized that all the cars in the pictures had current tags. He loves 80's music (shocker!) and wears short, cut off jean shorts and no shoes 8 months out of the year. He loves beaches as noted by the posters of them on his wall and he sets the mood with his sweet water bed. *you guessed it, more giggling*

All of these things I'd be willing to forgive for the sake of true love, but you want to know the dealbreaker? He hates shopping! I mean, at that point I just had to say "no thank you."

Another potential suitor, also far out of my age and height range, would like to take me to dinner to "start our adventure together." This is right up there with the guy that said "As always, ladies choice and gentleman's treat." He clearly was vetoed on the grounds of being a douche.

Plenty more fish in the sea.... right? Uhh.....

*** Disclaimer: I'm not trying to be mean. I'm sure these guys are perfectly delightful. However, their blatant lack of common sense has landed them here. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. ***

Change - Not Just For Vending Machines

2012-07-05T06:00:00.000-11:00

I know this isn't the American way, but I love change. Not the "dollars & cents" kind of change, but the "different from the way we've always done it" kind. I don't have a favorite movie, band, song, hair product, lip gloss, food, etc... In terms of stability, a certain degree of nomadic behavior is typical during the college years, but I may have taken that to the extreme. I have moved 14 times in the last 10 years. The good news? It's almost impossible for me to become a hoarder!

So what sparked this particular post? I was driving home yesterday, looking at the other cars, driving to their respective homes. I thought about the people that have driven the same route home for 20 years and I just couldn't get over how awful that must be! I've only driven the same route to my apartment for 5 months and I'm already tired of it.

If the thrill of change is no more, then what does a girl have to look forward to?