For the purpose of this article, I will be focusing mainly on activities to improve the fine motor skills of the finger, hand and wrist muscles but fine motor skills also encompass the small muscles of the feet, toes, lips and tongue.

When we are nurturing and educating our little ones, we quite often focus on key areas such as words, shapes and colours etc but developing a young child's fine motor skills are so very important and quite easily overlooked.

Fine motor skills require strength, fine motor control and hand-eye coordination and are extremely important as they play an essential role in undertaking many of life's key functions.  They ultimately enable a child to gain independence and thus develop confidence.

Examples of key life skills that require developed fine motor control:

• Eating food and using cutlery
• Getting dressed
• Brushing teeth
• Writing
• Cutting
• And even turning pages of a book

Below are just some of the activities that you could undertake at home with your toddler without having to spend much money (..if any at all).  They are also in no particular order.

Picking up small objects

This is probably one of the first areas where your child will start using the fine muscles in their fingers. This is the start of developing a pincer grip which is very important when commencing letter formation and handwriting.

Threading

Threading is great fun and the good news is that you can use a variety of household (or garden) objects so you don't need to buy any special equipment.

In the past we have used leaves and twigs to make a 'stick wand', threaded penne onto spaghetti or even pipe cleaners through a colander.

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Play Doh

Many family homes will have a pot of play-doh or two and honestly, I think the stuff is great.  It has entertained my boys for hours and definitely comes in useful while I'm cooking their dinner.

Just rolling and manipulating it to form shapes is constantly strengthening the key muscles required to perform precise movements.

Cutting and sticking

I'm a big fan of cutting and sticking and my youngest absolute loves it. He currently loves cutting out shapes but he will happily cut out the pictures from any magazine that comes through the post whether that's B&Q, M&S or Smyths toys.

Using tweezers or tongs

Do you have a pair of kitchen tongs...if so great you can use them to ask your child to transfer anything from one place to another.

In the first two photos below, the boys were colour sorting the blocks and lego pieces and in the last picture, I stuck some bug counters into play-doh to add some resistance and make it a bit more difficult.

Playing games

I love a game and this Christmas I asked Santa for a few more. 

I've added photos of some of my favourites for improving fine motor skills - Kerplunk, Chopstix, Board Games and Operation but 'Pop Up Pirate' is another firm favourite in our house.

If you have any more suggestions then please pop them in the comments section below.

Chalking

Painting

No explanation needed... but painting doesn't have to be just on paper ...(or on the walls!).

Try painting leaves and twigs, hand painting, even using fruit or vegetables as paint stamps.

Crafting - make a monster

Mark making

Mazes

If you think your child may enjoy mazes then click here to gain access to some free resources.

Stacking or balancing blocks

Stickers

Not everyone is a fan of stickers mainly because they get everywhere and because most are not great for the environment but they are REALLY good for developing fine motor skills which is why I have listed them here.

If anyone knows of any eco-friendly reasonably priced stickers then please let me know in the comments and I will put the link here :-)

Pasta Necklace

Every mummy deserves a pasta necklace...surely!

Screwing

My boys love tools and unscrewing things but for smaller children, it is safer to start with giant play nuts and bolts... the ones shown below also help with shape and colour matching.

Lego

Love it or hate it lego is great for children in so many ways.

I LOVE it but I very much HATE it at 3am in the morning if my son wakes and I tread on it bare foot...ouchie!!

Puzzles

Construction toys

Our favourites are Magformers...which are a little pricey but I love as they last an also Junior Geostix ... we take these out a lot to restaurants and the boys play with them while waiting for their food....LIFESAVERS!!!

Baking

Who knew baking could have so much potential for improving fine motor skills.  Stirring, transferring the mixture from one place to another, cutting out biscuit shapes, decorating....

Peg Boards

These are another great love of mine....purely because I like toys that have more than one role and that will grow with the child.

Peg boards are great for developing fine motor skills, learning about colours and shapes, threading, stacking and also for basic numeracy.

LOVE LOVE LOVE THESE!

Other Ideas

Dino needed to brush his teeth as he had smelly breath apparently!

Many of these activities will also serve to develop other key skills such as hand-eye coordination, hand dominance, concentration, imagination etc but most importantly these key skills are all learnt through play.

If you have any other ideas or pictures please do send them to me and I'll add them to the list. 

Like in all areas of learning, every child will learn differently and it is good to adopt a multi-sensory approach especially when helping your child learn to write!

So that is why I felt it important to show some examples of different ways my writing mats can be used to promote learning to write while also improving fine motor skills and pen control.

Children are naturally curious and are born with an innate desire to want to learn, so sometimes by just leaving an activity on the table it will evoke that curiosity. Young children learn through play doing activities that they want to do, when they want to do them and learning to write shouldn’t be any different.

So top tips…. keep it fun and light hearted, encourage experimentation and offer lots of praise along the way.  

Aid development of those little hands by incorporating a variety of fine motor activities along the way and most importantly eliminate any pressure or expectation… children learn on their own terms, in their own way and in their own time.

The above 'top tip' was featured as one of Twinkl's 9 Tips to Inspire Reluctant Writers to Write

Ways to use our writing mats?

So here we go……. this is the first approach that I adopted when introducing my two boys to their writing mats and it worked! 

Just leave the mats on a table with a pen and a cloth and see what happens! A learning activity is always most beneficial when a child wants to participate.

As mentioned above, it is always good to learn in a variety of ways .... not everyone learns in the same way so it's good to mix it up and most importantly make it fun! Doing the same activity over and over again isn’t fun for anyone… make it exciting, new and interesting.

Below are some of the ways that I use the writing mats at home with my children.

Finger Tracing

Ask your child to use their fingers to trace over the pattern, shape or letter on the writing mat. 

Finger tracing is an important starting step when it comes to learning to write.  It allows the child to gain control over the finger and hand muscles required for writing and it also helps your child focus on visualising the shape of each letter. 

This exercise will help integrate their visual-motor integration system which is vital for handwriting.  Visual-motor integration is the ability of the eyes and hand to work together in smooth, efficient patterns.

Object Tracing

Use a car or small object to trace over the pattern, shape or letter on the writing mat. 

This serves to act in a similar way to the above but adds more of an element of fun. 

For example, if your child loves a particular small toy (such as Fireman Sam) use it to walk up and down the letters. 

Pen

Use a pen to trace over the pattern, shape or letter on the writing mat. 

This is what our writing mats were designed for and it's absolutely fantastic to see the look of concentration on the child's face when they do it for the first time and then their big smile when they see that they have written their own name....what an achievement!  Make sure you give your little learner lots of praise and also try to encourage that they "start at the star" and "end at the dot". 

With practice, letter formation will become part of their motor memory so by encouraging the correct directional movement from the start, this will ensure bad habits don't form....which can be hard to correct.

Directional arrows can be added to our writing mats but if you feel this would be too much for your child then you can download a free printable letter formation guide.

Play Doh

Use the mats alongside play-doh and see if your child can recreate the shapes/patterns or even letters of their name. This is great for helping strengthen the small muscles in their hands and for really making them concentrate on the shape of each letter.

Paint/Sand/Shaving Foam

Cover the mat in paint, sand, shaving foam and see if your child can complete the pattern or trace their name.

Salt/Sand Tray

Use the mat as a prompt and see if your child can write independently in the sand tray.

Letter tracing is great but the end goal is giving your child the confidence to write independently as soon as they are ready. In order to do this they need to be able to commit the letter shape and accompanying movements to memory.

Cereal/Raisins/Beads

Use cereal or any small object and ask your child to make the letters of their name.

This is just FUN, FUN, FUN and my boys love it!   

It's also a great activity to help strengthening their pincer grip.

If you have any pictures of your child using our writing mats then please do send them in...I'd absolutely love to see them!

Jo x 

Please note - when learning to write I believe it should always be fun and interactive with the aim of "nurturing a love of writing" however, as a child grows, develops and becomes more confident it is important to encourage the correct formation of letters using the 'starting star" and "ending dot" as visual cues.  By supporting the correct formation of letters, this will prevent bad habits from forming which can be hard to undo later on in life.

...techniques that actually work...

We've all experienced it...but it's really tough when kids hit out in rage. They get so caught up in the moment that many parents struggle with how to contain them!

Anger in children with their tantrums begins at around 18 months, the development of their wants and perceived needs outweighs their communication skills which leads to extra frustration. When they are toddlers, it’s easy for the parent to remain calm, to wait out their storm. But as they grow and their outbursts become more aggressive and forceful how do we, the parent, keep our cool and let them know it’s all ok?

As parents we can try to stamp out their anger and send them to their room, sit them on the naughty step or take away their toys. Withholding love, deprivation of liberty or forcible isolation might be other ways to describe these punishments.

Time-out is actually an abbreviation from psychological studies in the 50’s and 60’s called “Time out from Positive Reinforcement” . The studies started with Pigeons and Chimpanzee behaviour modification and were later carried through into children’s behaviour modification.

But this actually teaches them a lesson we don’t intend..... It basically says those behaviours are bad and I can’t deal with them.

So how can they possibly learn to manage their anger if you can’t?

Alfie Kohn goes on to explain that love withdrawal causes an emotional pain, which is just as effective in the short term as physical pain, but with longer-lasting effects.

Sending a child away doesn’t give them time to think about what they have done, it gives them time to stew and increase their anger – to redirect it at you, to work out how to do the action and not get caught. Punishment and extraction or removal of belongings gives a feeling that is hard to deal with, even more negative connotations. I know this through experience and countless psychological studies have shown that punishment only works long term if it is serious enough to pain and hinder you for a lengthy time, or the punisher is present at the time of the crime. The 5 minutes time out doesn’t change the behaviour, which is why it’s used repeatedly for the same offence.

No bad emotions

In young children, it’s important to let them be at peace with all of their emotions. Feeling sad, angry and worried are just feelings as are happy, excited and giddy. They’re simply thoughts. Thoughts are neutral until we attach meaning to them. And by denying those emotions being around us, we are saying that some are bad, and some are good. I only love you when you’re happy and pleasantly behaved.

 Children see the world through children’s eyes. The things that make them happy (farts) or sad (being told no chocolate before dinner) are not (always) the things that we as adults would feel happy or sad about – I think farts can be funny…..but I may be on my own here!

Child Emotions Are Like Storms

I think of emotions like weather, sometimes it’s sunny, sometimes it’s cloudy and sometimes there’s a full-on storm raging.

I can’t do anything to change the weather, only prepare myself for it. And in England we can have 4 seasons in one day!

“There’s no such thing as bad weather – only unsuitable clothes” Alfred Wainwright (also credited to Scandinavian folklore)

Well I would say ....

“There’s no such thing as bad emotions, only ineffective ways of dealing with them”

Trying to change people’s emotions or never have bad days, is like, trying to push rain back into the clouds.

A good storm can be perfect for clearing the air, feeding a dry landscape, creating space for something new.

Unconditional Love

Our children deserve to be loved unconditionally, warts an all. I want my child to be a well-rounded adult that cares for other people’s wellbeing, as well as his own. I want him to be emotionally stable and able to navigate the harshness of the real world with a smile on his face, and I want him to be free to take risks and try something new. Knowing no matter what happens I will always love him.

 Ways To Diffuse Anger In Children?

1. Shouty anger: Waiting it out

I give some examples of phrases here, the important thing is not the phrases, but to be in the calm frame of mind, and mean what you say – the words are vessels for your feelings – use ones that feel right for the moment.

“I see you’re feeling angry right now“

“It’s hard for us to discuss why you’re so upset when your shouting“

“It’s hard for me to hear clearly when you shout”

“I’m right here for you when you’re ready to talk”

Waiting it out can often be the most successful diffuser, just be at peace with their anger – discussions come later.

Keeping calm, and present is the most important thing here. And it’s ok to explain that dinner needs to be made, so when they’re ready to talk they could come in the kitchen and you will speak to them about why they got so upset. You are not calm or present if your worrying that dinner won’t be ready if you’re dealing with this – try giving them a few minutes first of course.

2. Hitting anger: Holding

My children are used to being touched, hugged and carried in tight slings. So, for them, comfort comes in the security of tight hugs. This can be helpful for them – but sometimes exacerbates, read the situation individually each time. And be prepared to ditch it.

Holding in a bear hug, whilst remaining calm, and not getting angry with them, can show them your love whilst they fizzle out. My three-year-old when overtired needs this as giving her space keeps her getting more overtired and destructive – if she chooses to move away and not hit me or break things, then that is fine too.

Holding hands and feet so they can’t hit you, whilst reinforcing that you don’t want to be hit can be helpful. If they’re screaming “let me go” then, of course, I will, but if you hit me, I will need to stop you.

Hitting can be redirected at sofa’s or pillows.

“I see you’re feeling angry and needing to hit, lets hit this pillow instead”

This usually gets my son so giggly the anger disappears.

We can use throwing bean bags or teddy's too.

3. The Imaginary Balloon

If I can get my child to hear me, I love using this! I often talk of anger bubbles, it kind of feels like I’m a bottle of fizzy pop that’s been shaken when I get angry – I just need to pop my lid and fizz all over. This is a way to release some of that pressure by taking the lid off slowly.

“Anger can really bubble up inside us sometimes, shall we try to blow it away?”

“Can you help me blow up a big balloon.”

(start blowing an imaginary balloon up – describe its colours, it’s shapes – I often choose a mermaid balloon, and giggle when it bumps the ceiling)

“Here hold this” – pass an imaginary string, start blowing up a favourite character and ask them to complete it. My son used to get tractor balloons now he chooses dinosaurs.

You can switch this to an imaginary cake and candles – you can pretend it’s a relighting candle or that they missed it…. The trick is to get them to do a big inhale, and a big controlled exhale.

Using breathing and focusing on something else gives them the chance to slow down their thinking. It actually switches the nervous system and is something I teach all of my busy parents – how to breathe, to calm down and think – or “meditate in a moment” as I call it.

4. Snow Globe

Using a snow globe or a water bottle with glitter in it can help explain anger to children.

Demonstrate how if they are angry it's like shaking the globe and all the snow is swirling and whirling, but as they wait calmly all the snow settles and they can see the scene inside.

When they’ve calmed down this works beautifully to discuss what happened.

Parent Time-Out 

I know I said above that time outs were not good. Showing self-directed, own choice, removal from a situation can be really good for long term wellbeing of everyone, just don’t slam the door on your way out. I’m sure you’re no longer 13!

When parenting gets too much for me, when I’m not in the right frame of mind to deal with it all fairly or rationally I need a minute to think.

The other month I wanted to go to a vegan fair that was quite a drive away. They were being kids – getting out toys, watching TV, chasing each other around, taking a week to eat breakfast, screaming at each other. There was inaction and movement and noise all around me, and they were just not eating their breakfast and putting their shoes on so we could do something fun together that would have included buying cake and cheese!

I shouted, lost my cool and realised I was in the wrong! (it happens, I am human) I apologised and said I needed some space to get myself together, so I went to my bedroom and sat on my bed for a while. Eventually, they came to find me, and we discussed my behaviour and how I could have dealt with it better, this gave them the opportunity to reflect on their own behaviour too. And we concluded it was 6 of 1 and half a dozen of the other! My desire to go out was time-sensitive and I had missed the opportunity now, but I could see all they wanted to do that day was play.

That afternoon we baked and painted, I let go of expectations and reconnected with them. So, what that we missed out on cheese!

I use “mummy needs a minute to think about how to deal with this” from time to time. Sometimes that means I ask them to leave me to calm down, please go upstairs and play with your toys, just do not be near me right now, I want to deal with this fairly.

My children will occasionally explain they need time alone to deal with an emotion and that is self-directed. We have sat close offering hugs or presence to the three-year-old whilst she cried and sobbed and kicked the floor before falling asleep naked on the landing!

We Will Survive

Parenting is tough, but it can be easier if we relax a little and not expect them to be sunny and happy all the time. They will throw big wobblers at times that are inconvenient to us, and that’s ok, I’m sure we won’t be level and even-tempered all the time too. We are learning to parent one day at a time, and they are learning to be themselves one day at a time. Relationships fluctuate, emotions too. Without the ups, we’d never have downs. The triggers for our stresses are adult minded, the triggers for their stresses are child minded. Still based on thought, the thoughts will still pass as thousands of thoughts pass each day. We are the adult and we know this, help them learn it by modelling, apologising and looking after yourself. A tired stressed out mummy, does not eat well, she does not sleep well, she does not have time for exercise, and she does not always make the right decisions.

By trying to fix anger, we can make it worse. By ignoring it and pretending it doesn’t live at our house, we are making it a bad part of us. By calmly allowing it to pass, we diffuse it – and then learn from it.

When the heat has dispersed, we can talk about the fact that Maisy didn’t want to play with him, or why when mummy said no it was for a reason – and can he now understand why. We don’t have to give in to all of their wants (perceived needs) we don’t always have to put them above our own needs, we don’t have to wrap them in cotton wool and hide the world from them. We just need to be there for them, warts n all.

Nurse Rachel Devereux

Xx

You can also find advise from the NHS on 'Dealing With Anger In Children'

GUEST BLOG

This article has kindly been written by Nurse Rachel Devereux who is an independent Nurse, Health Coach and Environment specialist.

Nurse Rachel Devereux, was a high achieving Community Staff Nurse, during 14 years of NHS work she excelled and pushed herself to progress through the ranks working on zero-hour contracts as a health care assistant to achieving a Masters in Long Term Conditions.

When she birthed her children, she birthed the mother inside her – life suddenly made a lot more sense, but that high achiever burnt out trying to be the perfect mother and the perfect wife and the perfect Nurse. Recognising burnout in herself as a working mum, she recognised it in the parents around her, she saw the wilful self-neglect, the negative health behaviours that happen when people are stressed, she saw the studies of how stress and overwhelm were affecting peoples health in the immediate and long term and she decided to take action to help prevent and reverse ill health.

Her own recovery gave her the necessary understanding for helping people and having gone on to train with some of the leading Three Principles Practitioners from around the world Rachel has now a firm grasp of our innate wellbeing and helps others to realise their own strengths in the face of despair, she helps parents become the calm within their child’s storm and she helps neutralise the negative mind chatter that keeps us stuck in our own storms. Rachels training with experts in health and parenting, using the Three Principles as defined by Sydney Banks stands her apart from other coaches as she helps people access their own wisdom and regain the trust in themselves to be self sufficient and not reliant on others to ‘fix’ them, as we are never broken, we simply think we are! Her simplistic style has the power to allow you to change your whole life, she helps you slow down, relax and see the trees within the wood. 

“You are one thought away from happiness, one thought away from sadness. The secret lies in thought.” Sydney Bank

Main header image credited to - The MOPS Blog

How a child holds a pencil is very important when it comes to letter formation and learning to write, as a functional pencil grip will lead to efficient, pain-free handwriting. The development of a child's pencil grip, however, is a gradual process that will develop as the child grows.

Stages of a pencil grip

There are 6 developmental stages of a maturing pencil grip but it is important to remember that while these stages are 'typical 'every child is different and will develop in their own way and at their own speed.

STAGE 1 - PINCER GRIP

I have included this grip as while it is not a grip normally used to grasp pencils, it is the starting developmental point of picking up small objects with the fingers and will ultimately be used by older children to pick up their writing utensil.

This grip is typically seen from 8-9 months when the child will start to use the pads of their index finger and thumb and later advance into using the tips of these digits (typically between the ages of 10-12 months).

This grip is often seen when children start to pick up food to feed themselves.

STAGE 2 - PALMAR SUPINATE GRIP

Typically seen in ages 12-18 months.

This is basically a whole fist grip and is quite commonly seen in pre-toddlers when they first start experimenting with drawing/painting.  The crayon/paintbrush will be held in a closed fist and they will use the whole of their arm to make marks on the surface. During this stage children may prefer to use more vertical surfaces.

Your child will use movement from their shoulder (whole-arm movements)

The hand is in more of a vertical position with all fingers curled around the pencil.

STAGE 3 - DIGITAL PRONATE GRIP

Typically seen in ages 2-3 years.

In this grip, all 4 fingers and the thumb are used to grip the pencil with the palm of the hand facing downwards towards the paper and also the fingers pointing downwards.

The movement comes from the shoulder and elbow and again vertical surfaces may be the prefered choice of creativity.

The pen is help in a vertical position with the fingers pointing downwards towards the paper.

STAGE 4 - QUADTRUPOD GRIP 

Typically seen in ages 3-4 years

This grip uses 3 fingers (index, middle and ring fingers) and the thumb and can be either static or dynamic.

A 'static' grip is where the fingers are locked in their position, with the hand muscles doing little work.  This pencil movement is, therefore, coming largely from the wrist and above.

A 'dynamic grip' is where the fingers can move the pencil allowing for more precise drawing and writing.

STAGE 5 - STATIC TRIPOD GRIP

Typically seen in ages 3-4 years.

Your child has nearly adopted the most efficient grip.  They are using their index and middle finger along with their thumb to grip the pencil however the webspace is much smaller in this stage.

Webspace is the area between your thumb and index finger.

Stage 6 - DYNAMIC TRIPOD GRIP

Typically seen in ages 4-5 years.

The child will start to hold the pencil between the thumb and index finger with the pencil supported on the middle finger. The ring and little fingers are gently curled inwards. This gives an open wide web space which means the movement comes from the fingers.

Is the dynamic tripod grip the correct pencil grip? 

Yes and no.  While many view the dynamic tripod grip to be the most efficient grip it is not the only functional grip.

I prefer to use the term 'functional grip' rather than 'correct grip' with a functional grip being one which will allow the child to move their fingers independently to form marks enabling neat writing without getting easily tired or suffering discomfort.

All of the following pencils grips are considered 'functional' and are perfectly suitable for producing neat writing.

1. Dynamic tripod grip - as explained above
This provides a good balance of both stability and freedom of movement.

2. Static tripod grip - as explained above
This adds more stability but limits freedom of movement.

3. Quadrupod grip - as explained above

4. Lateral tripod grip - The use of 3 fingers; index, middle and thumb (or 4 for a lateral quadrupod grip) but in this grip the thumb crosses over the shaft of the pencil often resting against the index finger instead of the pencil. 

Why do I need to know this?

Information is king as they say and knowing what your child's pencil grip should typically look like for their age will ensure that you are not trying to push your child into adopting a certain style of pencil grip before they are developmentally ready. Pushing little hands before they are developmentally ready can be detrimental. It is very important to develop their gross and fine motor muscles (upper body muscles, shoulder and wrist muscles as well as the small muscles of their fingers).  This is best achieved through play with activities such as outdoor play, jumping climbing but also by encouraging drawing, craft activities and threading.

How can I help develop my child's pencil grip?

Separate post coming soon

What if I think there is a problem?

If your child is developmentally ready to be able to adopt a functional/mature pencil grip and is still experiencing discomfort, fatigue and/or untidy handwriting then it would be advisable to see a professional opinion preferably in the form of an occupational therapy assessment.

All images from Growing Hands On Kids

We all know children need to learn to write but do you know the process and skills that a child needs to develop before they even begin putting pen to paper.

In this article I plan to summarise this process and let you know what is expected of your child in terms of their learning to write journey.

Learning to write is actually a very important skill that needs to be taught but cannot be rushed or started before a child is developmentally ready.  There are however numerous things you can do with your child to ensure they have the pre-requisite skills to begin learning how to write.

Primarily learning at this age should be through play, nurturing a child to develop the key skills required before they embark on more formal learning however, in a world designed to accelerate their learning journey often driven by numerous targets and tests the play aspect can too easily be overlooked.

So how can you help your child and what should you know?

Firstly let us look at what is expected from our children:

In England, both the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) which focusses on the learning and development of 0-5 year olds and the National Curriculum focusing on 5-16 year olds; both refer to handwriting however the guidance can be confusing, to say the least.

The writing goal that each child will be working towards is an ability to be able to  “write clearly, accurately and coherently”, this will ultimately lead to producing "fluent, legible and speedy handwriting".

This is all well and good but what are the basics that children should know at each stage of their development.

Early learning (ages 4-5):

There is no specific guidance on writing in 2017 EYFS statutory framework other than the following references which also form part of the 17 Early Learning Goals which are assessed at the end of Reception (exemptions do apply), children are also assessed against three characteristics of effective learning. 

The following Early Learning Goals (ELGs) are relevant to handwriting:

Children use their phonic knowledge to write words in ways which match their spoken sounds. They also write some irregular common words. They write simple sentences which can be read by themselves and others. Some correctly and others are phonetically plausible.

Further guidance on reaching the statutory requirements mentioned above can be obtained from the document Development Matters which is a non-statutory guide produced by Early Education in 2012 relevant extracts of which have been given below.

Physical Development: Moving & Handling (30–50 months):

• Draws lines and circles using gross motor movements.
• Uses one-handed tools and equipment, e.g. child scissors.
• Holds a pencil between thumb and two fingers, no longer using whole-hand grasp.
• Holds a pencil between first two fingers and thumb and uses it with good control.

• Shows a preference for a dominant hand.
• Begins to use anticlockwise movement and retrace vertical lines.
• Uses a pencil and holds it effectively to form recognisable letters, most of which are correctly formed.

Literacy: Writing (40–60+ months):

• Links sounds to letters, naming and sounding the letters of the alphabet
• Writes own name and other things such as labels, captions.
• Attempts to write short sentences in meaningful contexts.
• Attempts to write short sentences in meaningful contexts.

Despite the early learning goals including an ability to write words, the national curriculum doesn't specifically refer to handwriting and the teaching of letter formation until the beginning of year 1. For example, the curriculum states that children should begin to form lower-case letters in the correct direction however this quite often has already begun to be taught during pre-school and reception when children start to write their name and simple words.

All very confusing, I think so... so below as a parent actively interested and studying writing in the early years I have given my view and experiences below on how you can help your child learn to write:

My view on how you can help your child learn to write

I don't believe in pushing children making them sit down and complete tasks, instead I believe in encouragement, praise and nurturing any interests that they may have.  If a child isn't interested in an activity try again another day or try something new. No two children are the same and like adults, they all learn differently especially boys and girls.

I also found it very helpful to know at what age my child may be developmentally ready to start making certain marks and shapes (eg. vertical lines, circles etc) ..... the below diagrams should help you with this and I also refer you to our FREE parent guide.

With that said the starting point of nurturing a love for writing is to ensure that children have the key skills required below are some of the important stages that a child needs to go through before physically starting to form letters.

development of gross and fine motor skills

recognition of shapes and pattern

a language to talk about shapes and movements

ability to form certain movements to make shapes

and of course reading!

Reading and writing are mutually beneficially one helps improve the other. 

Children who read or are read to often become better writers and equally practising writing helps children develop their reading skills.

So if you take home anything from this article please remember the following key points.

• Don't rush your child, nurture the key skills required through play
• Develop their gross and fine motor skills
• Ensure adequate communication is present
• Discuss shapes and the movements required to make each shape
• Promote tracing and drawing of shapes from 'Top to Bottom' and 'Left to Right'.

I hope this helps!

Why is handwriting important?

Handwriting is an immediate, easy (for most) and inexpensive way of recording language. In addition, it confers a number of cognitive, social and emotional benefits on the writer: It is a personal and expression of the individual; it has a calming effect and can assist emotional communication; it helps to organise written thoughts, stimulate creativity, assist memory and improve written composition in a number of different ways. It also has a beneficial impact across the curriculum.

When should the teaching of letter formation begin?

Letter formation should begin as soon as a child is able to recognise different letter shapes, perhaps even before s/he is proficient with a writing implement. It is vital that the correct movements for forming the letters are taught and practised (even with paint, sand, glue, play dough, etc). This will support memory for the letters, reduce directional confusions, such as b and d, and speed up writing with pencil and pen later.

Is there still a place for handwriting in a digital age?

Do you think there is a place for handwriting apps?

Like all skills with a motor component handwriting needs to be practised. Good apps can be a platform for practise and although research has found that they are not more effective at teaching than pencil on paper, they have been found to be highly motivating, especially for those who struggle.

Do you think there has been a decrease in the overall level of handwriting?

A reduction in handwriting standards was noticed at the beginning of this century, in part because it was not valued and often not taught. However, more informed understanding of its importance, based on solid research findings, has led to an increase in status of the skill and it is now much better taught on the whole.

What would you change about the way handwriting is taught?

Increasing enthusiasm for fluency and speed has led, in many schools, to detrimental practice which is misguided and may constrain proficiency. One common example of this is the practise of teaching continuous cursive style from reception. This usually includes the teaching of cursive letter forms with a baseline entry stroke. Teachers may choose this style in the belief that it will increase fluency later but there is no evidence to support this.

Furthermore there is a growing body of evidence showing that this particular approach can be difficult for a child to adopt and it can cause confusion over the learning of letterforms and interfere with legibility. A better approach, and that given in the National Curriculum is to teach simple letterforms without an entry stroke at first, then to teach the joining strokes once these have been established. It is also practical to recognise that for greatest speed and legibility there are certain letters which may be best left unjoined.

Is letter tracing and directional arrows helpful in aiding letter formation?

Letter tracing has a place in the teaching of handwriting but as soon as they can children should be encouraged to perform the letters from memory, even if the motor delivery is not fully controlled.

Sound research has found that after Reception, teaching which involved language, mnemonics, pattern and cues such as directional arrows are much more effective than tracing or a multi-sensory approach.

Any tips for left-handed writers?

Left handlers may take longer to establish fluent handwriting. They may also experience practical barriers, such as covering their work so that they can not monitor what they are doing. Angling the page up to 45’ to the right can help and there are a range of pens in the market which left-handers may find easier to use.

Any tips for letter reversals such as for the letters 'b' and 'd'?

In the past it has been commonplace to teach these two letters together, using mnemonics such as ‘bat and ball’, to assist recall. However, research suggests two amendments:

1. Any mnemonic must include a clear and specific directional component - bats and balls, ducks and drakes, may face any direction! Better to talk about ‘curving to the LEFT’ etc.
2. Teaching opposites together may result in ‘cross-talk’, i.e. one can be 50% right or wrong at any time.

It is better to focus on one, embedding it in the movement group it belongs to (e.g. d belongs to the curly caterpillar group starting with a curve to the left, like c, o, a, g, q.)  Teach and practise with these letters until it is firmly established. Later,  b should be taught with its letter family which starts with a vertical stroke down, r, n, m, p, h and b. 

Thank you Angela!

In the guide below, we have listed various options all with a development aspect to them so not only will your toddler enjoy playing with their Christmas gift it will help them develop. We have also tried to avoid gifts that have unnecessary small plastic components and included Christmas gifts that would last. Where possible we have also tried to suggest ideas where your purchase will be supporting small businesses (SSB).

The list below is in no particular order as we LOVE them all! 

1. Yoga Book For Bedtime - £12.99

Books are always a good present as they are fun, educational and allow you to spend quality time together. I have started to incorporate a few yoga postures into the boys bedtime routine which is why I have included the yoga book below as one of our top ten gifts for toddlers this Christmas. ...it calms them down, relaxes them and to be honest it's good fun for all involved.

There is also a 'good morning' yoga book!

Developmental value:

Yoga will enhance flexibility, strength and coordination. It will also provide a sense of calmness and relaxation which is just what you want close to bedtime.

2. Lanka Kade Stacking Animals - £16

These wooden toys are not only beautiful but they are ethically sourced too by an eco conscious company....you really can't go wrong with these! 

Developmental value: Help toddlers learn animal names and attempt to stack the animals.  Stacking will not only provide endless entertainment for your toddler but they will also help with concentration, spatial awareness, improve fine motor skills and help teach cause and effect.

3. Dress Up By A Heartly Craft (SSB) - £25

If you're looking for dress up ideas then definitely take a look at this small business. They have lots of fun dress up ideas from masks to dragon, owl, penguin and even a fox outfits.

Developmental value:  Dress up is extremely important especially in the early years as it promotes imaginative play, enhances communication and relationships and boosts confidence.

4. Personalised Xylophone - £22

How cute it this....I actually would like one of these for Christmas! My boys may no longer be toddlers but we receive a Xylophone for a Christmas gift and we still have it three years later and it's still being used...although sometimes unwantedly outside my bedroom door at 7am in the morning!

Developmental value:  Not just a xylophone! As well as making your child smile which is obviously good for their wellbeing, playing musical instruments can also aid coordination, increase sensory development as well as develop fine and gross motor skills.

5. Toddler Flashcards (SSB) - £6.75

Flashcards can be a great Christmas gift for toddlers especially for those who are visual learners.  My Little Learner do a range of durable flashcards which are designed to last as they are double-sided with a more advanced phase of learning on the back.   

Developmental value: Flashcards can be a great way to learn for visual learners especially if they are used in a fun interactive way. Toddler flashcards can be used to improve cognitive development, improve fine motor skills, stimulate thinking for themselves and increase confidence..please see our blog for more information on the use of flashcards.

6.  Skittles - £15

Fun fun fun! Skittles are great especially in the cold and rainy autumn/winter months when you're likely to spend more time indoors. Look at those cute little faces..... what toddler wouldn't love to received these animal skittles by JoJo Mama Bebe as their Christmas gift.

Developmental value:

Skittles help to develop a child's hand to eye coordination, physical development as well as their motor skills and balance. They can also aid numeracy skills by counting the number of skittles that have been knocked down.

7. Super Rainbow Deluxe Aquadoodle - £24.99

Mess free fun and development....what could be better!  We had one of these bought for us as a birthday gift and I cannot recommend it enough...it's also portable so you could take it anywhere with you (within reason!).

Developmental value: 

This is a great gift to encourage creativity and imagination. By holding the pens and paint brushes that come included your child will unknowingly developing their fine and gross motor skills and you can also use in together to explore colours and shapes. For more tips on helping children build the necessary skills prior to commencing writing see our Learning To Write blog.

8. Magformers Construction Set - £30.99

For a wooden for eco-friendly version please check out Designer Maglocks.

Developmental value:

Inspire hours of open-ended, creative play as well as reinforcing motor skills. The magformers construction set also comes with a model booklet which will introduce children to colour matching as they have to match the magformer pieces to the picture to build an object.

9. Number and Shapes Puzzle (SSB) - £19.99

I do love a puzzle and this one is a cracker as not only is it beautiful, it will also grow with your child...something that I love!

As well as helping with the developmental areas mentioned below this puzzle will also help with number recognition, counting, shapes and later aid basic arithmetic...I love it!

Developmental value:

Puzzles are an all rounder in my opinion as they can help with numerous development areas such as problem solving, fine motor development, hand and eye coordination as well as boosting self esteem and confidence. 

10. Christmas Story Box (SSB) - £25

These beautifully curated story boxes by  ZaZa's Storybox make the perfect toddler gift for any occasion but I especially love their Christmas themed boxes.

Choose from 5 different Christmas box: Christmas, Elf Christmas, Reindeer Christmas, Snowman Christmas  and Angel Christmas and they also include a Nakd Snack, Hoogly Tea and Childs Farm Bathtime Bubbles whilst stocks last. 

Developmental value:

Books we all know are great for children of any ages as they support language development, teaches communication skills and build listening and memory skills not to mention the quality time that you spend reading with your child. These boxes also contain Christmas Lanka Kade Stacking pieces which we covered above in point 2.

If you think I've missed anything then please pop a comment below and also pop a comment below to tel us your favourite Christmas gift for toddlers...

It will be here before you know it!

Jo Xx

It's that time of year again where you may need to start thinking about applying for primary school and what school you would like your little cherub to go to.

If you wish your child to start school (as opposed to homeschooling) then you will need to apply by the 15th January 2022. (*this date may differ for private schools and schools outside of England).

In the article below I have tried to summarise all the key information as well as some additional points you may want to consider when you come to apply for primary schools.

Where to start....

1. Understand the primary school application process

This will vary by local council but the best place to start is by using the government website which will direct you to your local councils admission website where you will find details of their application process as well as lots of other useful information. 

Points to note:

• Check each schools admissions policy as they will vary greatly from school to school.
• You must apply for a primary school place by 15th January.
• You must apply through your local council even if you are applying for schools in another council area.
• You must apply for at least 3 schools.
• Councils will send confirmations for primary school places on 16th April.

2. What are the closest schools to you by distance?

We all know that most schools have very strict admissions criteria, one of which is the dreaded catchment area. It is therefore very important to understand how far you are from the schools that you are considering applying to. You can do this by emailing your local admissions department and asking them the distance from your home to the 6-8 closest schools.  Once you know the distances of the schools you can then look at prior year admissions distances (see below) to see if you have a chance of being given a place at these schools.

3. Obtain prior years admissions distances 

This information will help you determine the likelihood of being allocated a place at your considered schools based on distance from your home, you may then be able to rule out some schools that are too far out of catchment.  This is likely to be included in your local authority’s admissions guide but if not you can always email and request the information.

4. Do your homework

Once you know the schools in your catchment, obtain a copy of their most recent Ofsted report, take a look at league tables and speak to other parents with children already in the schools you are considering, ask questions on your local community facebook group and most importantly visit the schools.  Remember the more information you have the better equipped you will be to make a decision about which school is best for your child.

5. Book a school visit

This in my opinion is VERY important especially if you are undecided on your choice of schools and there certainly is a lot to say about your GUT FEELING.  School visits can provide you with invaluable information about the way the school is run, the schools ethos, the quality of their resources and how happy the children are in their setting etc.

Don’t forget to apply by the admissions deadline of the 15th January.

Note - if you are considering waiting for your child to start school until they are of compulsory school age (CSA) or wish to look into flexi-schooling then we will be writing a blog post about this very soon. 

Your child will be of compulsory school age (CSA) on the 1st January, 1st April or 1st September following their 5th birthday and from this age they must be receiving education either in a school setting or elsewhere.  It is worth pointing out that children in the UK often start reception prior to being CSA and as such have no legal obligation to be there)

Things to consider/questions to ask

Ofsted reports

It is important not to place too much emphasis on a schools Ofsted report however they are useful to gain further insight into a school and how they were performing at a given point in time.  While I would always look at a schools Ofsted report there are many other factors to consider when deciding what school may or may not be best for your child and always bear in mind that many things can happen or change from one year to the next (eg. a change in headteacher).  Please also remember that the focus of Ofsted reports have changed from 2019 so make a note of when the schools last Ofsted report was submitted. The School Run gives a very good account of what to look for when reading a schools Ofsted report.

School visits

Below are some questions you may want to ask and also things to consider during your school visit

• What are the class sizes?
• How many reception classes are there per intake?
• Is entry staggered by age? eg. do the older children start first?
• Do the reception year children have the same playground as the older children?
• Do the reception year children eat together with everyone in a big lunch hall?
• Do the children start doing full days or build up to full days?
• Do they have any provision for children with special educational needs (SEN)?
• What are the schools' core values/beliefs?
• What is the child:teacher ratio?
• What is staff retention like?
• What is the schools approach on settling children who may be upset?
• Do they offer after school and morning clubs?
• What extracurricular activities are available?
• How does the school support more academic students and also children who may require additional help?
• Do the children look happy? Do the teachers look happy?
• Is there much outdoor space?
• What are the facilities/resources like? How many computers per child? Do they have a library etc.
• Is the school focused on arts or more academic subjects?
• What is the schools' homework policy during reception year?

Speak to other parents

The more information you can gather about the schools in your area the better equipped you will be to make a decision....information is king as they say.  First hand experiences about a school can be very insightful so definitely ask around. Community Facebook groups can also be very useful to gain other peoples views but remember to always keep an open mind and use all the information available to you to make a balanced decision.

There's a lot to think about, good luck Xx

My experience

My husband and I decided to visit 3 schools in our catchment area.   Luckily all 3 were considered good schools and we loved each of them for very different reasons but below are some of the points that we considered when trying to choose our preferred school.

The first school had the best headteacher who was very nurturing and seemed to provide the children a very wholesome environment.  She had attended the school as a child as did her children and was held in high regard within the community however what we didn't like about this school was that the infant school was offsite and not within the same grounds and the outdoor space seemed very limited.  The second school we also loved as it was quite small with only two reception classes per intake and again this school seemed very warming and nurturing however the grounds of the school had limited green space and since my husband and I participated in a lot of sport during our time at school this was quite important to us, it was also the furthest from our house.

The third school (where my son started last week) was selected as our preferred choice based on the grounds, the facilities, the very close proximity to our house and the fact that it had a glowing Ofsted report and more importantly the league tables suggested that boys outperformed girls in many areas...this was a big factor for me given my children are both boys and statistically girls generally outperform boys in the early school years. So our choice was based on convenience (we ideally wanted to be able to walk our children to school), sporting facilities and academic achievement, we compromised on school size and possibly on a more warming, cosy environment.

I hope this article helps making your primary school application easier and if there is anything you feel I have missed out and would be helpful to others then please pop your comment in the box below.

In this blog we will focus on how you can help develop your child's writing skills and therefore give them the best start possible when they come to learn to write. It will layout the skills required before they start on their learning to write journey, ideas of how to develop these key writing skills and also key milestone so you know what to expect and when from your child (*note - these are only guidelines!).  There is also a handy 'frequently asked questions' section at the bottom of the page which will hopefully address any concerns you may have when it comes to your child learning to write.

For a toddler or preschooler, being able to write isn't just about picking up a pen and experimenting, this is part of their learning journey but there are many other important factors that you may not have thought about that would benefit your child.

It is very important to stress that the necessary skills for writing are not acquired from the action of physical writing like you would expect but they are developed primarily from the action of play and exploration which is what children yearn to do.....by letting children play, and letting them explore and take risks you are already providing the key development skills required as a prerequisite to learning to write.

How Can You Help Your Child Learn To Write?

1) Posture + Gross Motor Skills

Writing is as much about posture as it is about putting pen to paper.  To enable a child to be able to sit comfortably and hold a pencil they must have sufficient core strength and also sufficient arm muscle strength.  The first step to teaching children to write begins with large arm movements, which are best developed in play - allowing free movement, being in large spaces, allowing them to take risks and moving in a variety of ways. 

2) Fine Motor Skills

For a child to hold a pencil with the correct pencil grip, they will need good fine motor skills which will allow writing to be more efficient and less frustrating for a child.  Fine motor skills are the coordination of small muscles giving us the ability to make movements using the small muscles in our hands and wrists. These skills are best developed by playing with smaller objects, enabling the actions of picking, pushing, pulling, turning, twisting, ripping etc.

3) Make It Fun

No one learns if the activity isn't fun...so the key is to make it fun!  Children learn through play and repetition so try and incorporate these two factors when thinking of activities. Later on, in the article we will provide some fun play-based ideas of how you can help develop key pre-writing skills in your child. 

Developmental Handwriting Milestones

12 to 18 months: Basic Exploration + Fist Hold!

• Scribbling  – The start of showing an interest in writing!
• Fist Grip – This is the beginning of mastering the art of being able to hold crayons, pens, etc. 

18 months to 2 years: Experiment & Encourage

• Staying within the sheet – Children at this age should start to be able to paint, colour or draw without going outside of the paper try this with a large piece of paper and see how it goes! 

• Pre-Writing Strokes – Children of this age should begin to copy or trace vertical lines.
• Finger & Thumb grip – At this age a child's pen grip will start to develop to enable them to start using their fingertips and thumb.
• Encourage whole arm drawing during this development stage.

Age 2-3 years: Gaining Control

• Pre-Writing Strokes – Imitation of vertical and horizontal lines, moving onto circles. 
• Holding crayons – A child between ages 2 and 3 will typically hold a crayon with his fingers but their grip is likely to still look unnatural. 
• Encouraging painting at this age will greatly improve a child's fine motor skills and writing development.

Age 3-4 years:

• Pre-Writing Strokes – Between 3-4 years of age, children should be able to copy vertical and horizontal lines, and circles without the need to copy.
• Copy letters – At about the age of 3.5-4 years, a typical child may begin to copy simple familiar letters such as those in their name.
• Tracing lines – Trace on top of a thick horizontal line without going off of the line much.
• Colouring – By this age, children should be able to colour within the lines of simple shapes.
• Using Scissors – Easily cut a piece of paper in half and cut along a straight line without deviating from the line too much.
• Grip – Between 3 - 6 years, a child should begin to use their thumb and index finger while resting the pen on the joint of the middle finger although it is not uncommon for the grip not to be perfect.  Most children will adopt a tripod grip (or a grip suited to them) between the ages 4 and 5 plus.
• My youngest son has always held the pen in the 'tripod grip' from quite a young age however my 5-year-old as a slightly alternative grip which works very well for him producing clear and legible writing...my point is don't be concerned if your child isn't using the standard "tripod grip" as long as it's comfortable and functional for your child then it's totally fine (see "Tips on how to hold a pen" section below).

Age 4 years plus: Encourage and Refine

Practice makes perfect....which is very true as repetition is absolutely essential for learning and development.  The more we repeat an action the better and more efficient we become at it.  This is because we are consolidating the neural pathways required to complete the action that we are practising (eg. writing). The more we repeat the action, the stronger the neural pathways become and the easier the action becomes...practice, practice practice!  That is why wipeable learning mats are a fantastic way for a child to start learning to write.  Not only are they colourful and enticing for children but children love being able to master something (eg. writing their name), wipe it away and start again!

Ideas To Develop Gross Motor Skills

• Washing window - big circular movements
• Yoga
• Climbing - particularly rope swings, ladders etc
• Large drawings - attach some large paper on an easel or to a wall and let your child make big painting motions.

Ideas To Develop Fine Motor Skills 

• Pulling lego pieces apart
• Weeding the garden
• Using tweezers to pick up small objects
• Playing with stickers
• Threading objects onto a piece of string
• Drawing
• Peg boards
• Picking up small objects (eg. frozen peas)

Ideas to Make Learning To Write Fun

• Chalking on the floor
• Forming Play Doh Letters
• Writing in sand or using a salt/four tray
• Writing in shaving foam
• Colourful wipeable learning mats
• Forming letters by pushing a car through sand

Pen grips and triangular shaped pens are also great at getting your child's fingers in the correct position when they start to learn to write...

See the video link below for a handy tip to getting your child to hold their pen in the correct position:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhtdJ4D0OtQ

Help Others

If you have any useful tips or experiences on helping children learn to write then please comment below, as I will update the blog post to include them.  We are all on a learning journey and every child is different so your comments or experience may help someone else.

Please also see our blog article The Importance of Handwriting which is an interview with Dr. Angela Webb, former chair of the National Handwriting Association answering many key questions about handwriting.

Learning to write ... your questions answered

When should a child learn to write?

Pre-writing skills start from 12-18 months with scribbling and a fist grip.  These skills will develop as the child grows and generally by the age of 3-4 children should be able to copy vertical and horizontal lines, and circles without the need to copy. From approximately 3.5-4 years of age, a typical child may begin to copy simple familiar letters such as those in their name.

With that said every child is unique and it's no different when it comes to learning to write. I always advise never to push a child but gentle encourage and observe.  Encourage through play via painting, drawing and chalking and ensure they are getting enough fine motor and gross motor skill development (see section above for ideas).

When should a child hold a pencil correctly? 

Do boys find it harder to learn to write?

There is no physical reason why boys would find it harder to learn to write than girls however it is quite common for boys to be slightly less advanced when it comes to their writing skills compared to girls. The main reason for this is that many boys tend to be more active than girls and find it hard to sit down and concentrate, quite often they would much rather be outside playing or playing with their toys. For this reason, it is quite important to engage boys more in writing by making it fun - please see our 'Ideas to Make Learning To Write Fun' section above.

Should you correct a child's pencil grip?

See our latest blog article on The Stages of a Developing Pencil Grip

How important is holding a pencil correctly?

See our latest blog article on The Stages of a Developing Pencil Grip  

I still have concerns what should I do?

If your child is under school age try not to worry and just focus on all the advice given in the article above... encourage, praise and play. However, if your child is of school age and you are still concerned I would suggest speaking to their teacher as a first point of call. 

Do you have a child starting school in September 2021?

How do you feel……sad, excited, maybe relieved as you got the school you wanted? How do you think you will feel on their first day of school? These feelings are strong enough in normal times without the added worry and uncertainty of the current times with Covid-19.

As a parent there are so many emotions and thoughts running through your head during this period but if you feel like this, can you imagine how your child must feel who I’m sure struggles to cope with their emotions at the best of times…..

Generally most parents start by telling their child “ooo you’ll be going to big boy/girl school soon”, how do you feel about starting school in Sept? You’ll have a new teacher, new classroom, new friends etc and this is quite often followed up with a “stay and play’ session in their new school, to meet their new teacher and surrounded by lots more new children than they’ve ever been used to and in a much larger setting…

Photo by: Ariel Skelley

Now many of us don’t actually think about the language we are using when we speak to our children (it’s only as I’m writing this that I realise just how daunting this can be for a child and obviously some more than others) but if you actually think about it this news is MASSIVE to a child… all they hear is everything is NEW, they will be going to this NEW place at some time but because they haven’t really mastered the concept of time yet they have no idea of when September is or when in a few months is or what after the school holidays actually means…. So when we think we are explaining things to our children to try and prepare them for the changes ahead…are we actually sometimes making it worse perhaps making them feel anxious!! I think you get my point that everything is saying to your child that a NEW change is coming but you can't explain properly when this will be and as we all know children don't generally like new, they like familiarity and routine.

So how we can prepare our children for starting school??

Below I have tried to give some practical advice for ways how can help your child..

Use a gradual approach

Start talking about school in general terms and not in terms of a ‘change’…..when you walk past their new school or any school ask them questions......tell them positive things…'oh look, the children are playing, they sound like they are having fun don’t they?', 'What do you think the teachers are like?'.  If your child has an older sibling that attends school, start talking about their brothers/sisters' experience and what they like about school.  Basically, talk about school in a positive way and try to avoid using the words new and change as much as you can.

Ask them questions…

Once the news has settled in that they will be going to a BIG boy or girl school, occasionally ask them how they feel? What do you think they will do all day? Tell or better still show them the playground…what child doesn’t like a playground? Read books around the subject, watch a school related TV show, show them pictures of you at school.

… the time frame

This is a difficult one but with my son I like to list out events for him in the order they will happen so he is able to gauge what is coming next and in what order….so maybe you have lots of fun things planned over the summer holiday, a birthday party, a holiday break all these things that are going to happen before starting school…keep talking about these events in order….this will allow your child to mentally prepare for what is coming next…it then won’t be so unexpected and out of the blue.

Nearer the time

As the big day approaches, get your child involved and excited….go shopping for some new school things that your child can pick..maybe a few pencils, a pencil case, a water bottle or bag with their name on it…. I’m actually getting excited now!

On the day

You're sad, you're excited but don’t turn the first day of school into a big thing….make it happy, fun, light hearted and definitely don’t look sad or teary (although that may be easier said than done).  Get them to pack their own bag, layout their school uniform ready for when they wake up or get them to choose their own outfit….maybe pack a teddy/comforter in the bag with them....my mum used to spray a little of her perfume on my sleeve so I had a familiar smell.

.... and then just like that they are off.....starting their very first day at school!

School expectations

There are differing opinions on this topic and like everything, every school will have different expectations as will parents. But it is also so important to remember that YOUR CHILD IS UNIQUE and no one knows them better than you! Some children will be younger than others so meeting the same set of ‘expectations’ is crazy, some will naturally be better in some areas than others, some children will need more encouragement in certain ares…. you get my point.   Social pressures can be hard on everyone so try to relax about it….I have made a generalise list of what you may see being reported on what a child should know before starting school.... but definitely don’t let this worry you, these are simply guides and all children get there in their OWN TIME and many schools only really care about the non-academic items as the rest is taught in school. I actually don’t find these kinds of lists that helpful and feel many important attributes/skills have been missed such as social skills like share, being polite and kind to others which are equally if not more important that purely academic skills which will be taught in school anyway.

And finally……

Remember and know that like children, every adult is different too and like children they will express themselves in different ways .. there will always be competitive, opinionated parents who cannot wait to tell you what their child can achieve academically…..BUT please do not let this phase you, why should it....be confident in your child and their abilities and in the qualities you have taught them, always teach your child to be polite, respectful, caring and that they are special in so many ways. Teach them to try their best, try their hardest and that everyone excels in different ways but we all get there, everyone is special in their own way.

Please drop any other advice or experiences into the comments below as it may help another parent/carer. How is your child feeling? How have you help them to feel excited or less anxious about starting school In September?

The viewpoint from these articles is that children simply need to learn through play and they don’t need words and letters on a flashcard being drilled into them.  While I agree that children should primarily learn through play, I feel that there is a firm place for toddler flashcards and they can play a key role if used in a fun and interactive way. Drilling a child with words means nothing and will just lead to rote memorisation but using the cards to describe, explain and potentially evoke a conversation provides much more of a deep-seated learning value.

Just holding up a flashcard and reading a word to a child isn’t much fun for anyone and quite honestly no one is likely to gain anything from the experience, however, bringing their world into the learning experience or making it interactive for the child makes it more fun and much more like play which is how children learn.

Examples could be pointing out objects in your home to the pictures shown on the flashcard or asking your toddler to point to the objects or even find them for you, ask them to bring you objects that match the colour shown on the flashcard – this creates a level of interactivity, making it more of a game and giving the child their independence to provide the answer themselves.

My Little Learner flashcards are great at incorporating this interactive element while also having the aim of the flashcards growing with your toddler…for example many of the flashcards can be turned over to practice letter formation aiding learning to write, or the "under the sea" flashcards allows your child to work out the answer by themselves by pointing to the correct answer – both of these elements will give the child the chance to succeed while nurturing their confidence at the same time. 

It is also my belief that flashcards should only be used for a short period to be the most effective.

How can flashcards benefit your toddler?

If used correctly and your toddler/preschooler reacts positively to flashcards the benefits can be fabulous:

• Improve cognitive development
• Increase awareness of the world around them
• Improve fine motor skills
• Stimulate thinking for themselves
• Increase confidence

But flashcards may not be for every child as, like adults, every child is unique in every way including the way in which they learn and it has been…that there are 4 types of learners.

The 4 Types Of Learners

It may not be apparent at a very young age which learning style your child favours the most but as they grow knowing their preferred method of learning can be a great advantage when choosing what learning resources will be the most effective at helping them to flourish

• Visual – need images to explain ideas, prefer pictures over words
• Auditory - learn best when information is spoken either by an adult or by reciting themselves, require things to be talked through
• Read/Write – prefer to see things written down, process information by writing notes
• Kinesthetic – “hands-on” learning, process information best by carrying out actions, by practising and recreating.

Are some flashcards better than others?

That very much depends on the type of flashcard but the points below should be considered when making your purchase:

• Size - too small, the child may lose interest
• Colour - too dull, may lose interest; to colourful, too overwhelming
• Interactivity - can the flashcards be used in an interactive way
• Durability - are they too flimsy so the could be easily damaged

What flashcards would be good for my toddler?

This depends on the age of your child and what milestones they are working towards and also what they are starting to show an interest in. I strongly believe learning in the early should be child-led….if your child shows an interest in a particular area of learning then definitely encourage that area.

Toddler Flashcards….The Summary

In summary, I think toddler flashcards are great if used in the correct way….make it fun, make it interactive and keep it short!

Click here to view My Little Learner Flashcards

Xx

I'm definitely not a 'helicopter parent' as its called, I believe to a certain extent that at an appropriate age children should learn from their actions, discover for themselves  ... I will tell them and show them a risk/danger but if the outcome isn't too dangerous then I let them learn for themselves...."don't stand up in the buggy you might fall and hurt your head" I tell Heath in a busy post office...does he listen no....so he carries on doing it and he falls bumps his head....hopefully lesson learnt...or at least a little closer to the lesson being learnt.

BUT with social media there are so many reasons why I am concerned for my children (yes it's part of growing up but it doesn't make me feel any more comfortable!)

I never thought I would be in this position but to be honest ...I'm out of touch...I've lost it, I'm not down with the kids!  For example, it has only recently come to my attention that a 'snapchat' will disappear once the recipient has read it.....well anything could be sent to my child and it's then gone and if it's inappropriate...bullying, indecency etc then there is no accountability!

At least when I was young I was told 'don't talk to strangers' and if anyone seemed strange I  stayed away but with social media my child could be talking to anyone - someone posing as another child or a friend and that seems totally out of my control and it freaks me out! I want my children to be friendly, to be open to others but where do you draw the line if the potential threat isn't obvious.....!

On top of the safety issue related to this growing social media trend, there is the image and confidence side of it.  Social media in my opinion isn't REAL LIFE! To a large extent, it's fake and it's false..... a possible misrepresentation of someones life and a very shallow and materialistic representation at times with no secrecy. Apps are used to alter image, teenagers are broadcasting their sexual conquests, body image is plastered everywhere...posts intended to bully others can be broadcast and spread at a rapid rate....it seems that there is no escape for young children....and I believe this pressure is partly linked to the increase in childhood mental illness (depression, anxiety etc).

I recently saw a post on facebook asking at what age parents deemed it appropriate to grant social media access to their children.   The general consensus was 16 but a few said much younger....what do you think? Am I right to be concerned?

Thankfully my husband and I are no where near that stage with my two boys but when they are old enough, I suppose all you can do is educate them and make them aware of the potential dangers but nonetheless it still scares the life out of me!!

What tips do you have?

For those looking for advice, take a look at this website: parent zone

xx

I've only ever wanted two children and the sex of the children have never really mattered to me.....I've never longed for a girl and I LOVE having two mummy's boys but despite my youngest, being a lot harder than my first when he was very young and I was very tired, I thought constantly about having three and as he started crawling and then walking I found myself picturing another baby and a family of three!  The biggest reason for even contemplating having a third is the possible regret of not another (as my family keep reminding me) and I know deep down my husband would like a little girl....a daddy's girl and part of me wants that for him!

......however, rightly or wrongly we have made this decision based on 'head over heart' and I'm sure 10 years from now we may think oh we should have had another one but these are the things we have considered....

1. NO ONE WANTS TO BABYSIT THREE!

Alex and I love going out and we have started to get a real sense of balance back in our lives which I think is very important as a couple and family.  I've come across quite a few scenarios where the husband may feel a little left out as all attention is given to the children.  At times that may be necessary but having a happy home with parents that love each and have time to 'be together' is also very important so 'couple time' is a must (for us anyway)!  I really do believe that but I also LOVE going out and the possibility of that being taken away from me scares me!

2. MONEY

I don't need to say much here....children are expensive and more children means more money.  Now this could be seen as a selfish view, maybe it is but the more children you have the less 'free' money you have for the luxuries in life ....holidays, eating out, going out, treats etc etc.  Yes I know you don't need these things but I want them (sadly I'm part of a materialistic generation)....and as I say it maybe a selfish view as in 10 years I will possibly regret it!

3. HOLIDAYS

I LOVE LOVE LOVE holidays! This is another big reason (again possibly selfish and regrettable) why a third is a no go area! Everything becomes so expensive and much more difficult again.  The boys at the moment are manageable, we don't have to take everything including the kitchen sink with us and we can sit down and eat meal at a restaurant without having to shovel the food down as quickly as we can and get out as quickly as we can before we get thrown or stared out!!  We are taking the boys to Thailand and Vietnam in a few weeks for a 6 week trip...I love that we can do that (or are attempting to!) but add a baby to the mix and we won't be able to do that for a good for years or possibly ever again as we'd be skint feeding and clothing the little blighters (who knew small boys could eat so much and grow so quickly!!)

Finally, for the past few years Alex and I have had sneaky mini breaks by ourself which have been totally magical, BOOM that is OVER with a third - see point 1!

 4. I JUST CAN'T DO IT AGAIN

I really don't believe that I could do it again!  I loved being pregnant with Reggie, I enjoyed it with Heath but I think I'd be hell on earth a third time..bad back, bad back, tired, tired, tired is all that would come out of my mouth!

Tiredness with another 2 to look after - yuk, yuk, yuk! 

Bickering again with Alex - noooooo thank you!

Not being able to sit down and eat my meal in relative peace.  I LOVE EATING and I don't like that experience to be interrupted.....no chance with a young baby!!

5. AGE & HEALTH

This is a worry, I'm not getting any younger.  I have a lovely healthy family but what if I had another and there were complications!

6. FREEDOM

- See first blog post - A little less mummy and a little more me

Overall though, it's your body that makes the decision!

Babies although hard work are adorable and give you so much joy, pregnancy and birth are among the most special things in the world as is caring and bringing up a child that is totally dependent on you...so if that nagging feeling gets stronger then I could be in trouble....I'm not going to lie...there is a little niggle!  We are going away in 3 weeks and I could be tempted to throw caution to the wind ....watch this space  😉 x

What are your thoughts on three or more?

Hats off to anyone who does have 3 or more...I'm not sure I could do it!

Xx

This is the first time I've written a blog so please bear with me...

So why now, why I am doing this now?  Because I am 'me again'....I was born me, I spent the next 33 years being me and then I became a wife and shortly after that a mummy and shortly after that a mummy of two.  Slowly, well actually quite abruptly I was no longer 'me', I was just a 'version of me'..... 

Now don't get me wrong, I love being a wife, I love being a mum and I LOVE being a family but I found it all consuming!  I used to be so very independent, I did what I wanted when I wanted, spent what I wanted when I wanted and loved being spontaneous!  When I had my first child (my darling Reggie) , I struggled a little with losing that sense of freedom, by the time I had my second (Heath, the comedian, my baby, a little fu*@ker!, I had adapted to my new life and I gave up my job...I was a 'full time mummy and wife". I love that and I wouldn't change it but it's tough!

When Heath joined his brother at preschool, I had three mornings a week to myself!  Amazing!!  It was such a nice feeling, I thought of all the things I would do, get my nails painted, get my hair done, watch daytime TV, sit and drink tea and eat chocolate hobnobs all morning....I did none of that!  I actually felt a bit lost...like what now??  In actual fact, I figured out that I didn't need my hair done, my nails done, to sit down and do nothing, I just needed to achieve something for MYSELF!

It took a lot of hard work but I started selling children's learning mats from home and I felt like me again!  I had a little more time, freedom, I could still make decisions (just), make money, be my own person......I think I just needed a little bit of balance back in my life.  Humans need balance , it's a biological fact and I just needed "a little less mummy and a little more me"......

We're all different and all need different things, it's not a bad thing it's human nature....sometimes we need to put others first but we mustn't forget ourselves and what we need!

Xx