The Adventures of Oatmeal and Pork Chop

All things Eli...

2011-06-21T13:01:00.003-04:00

I felt the need to change the blog name, why you ask? Well now that there are two equally hilarious kids they both deserved to be named! I didn't change the actual address...I'm not that energetic. :) So..sit down, grab a little snack, maybe a drink and let me tell you about Eli.

Eli is a, well..Eli is..hmm...he is hard to describe because the kid is the biggest goof ball I have ever had come out of me. Not that I've had a litter of kids..obviously. Geez the blog name would be ginormous! Could you imagine? "The Adventures of Oatmeal, Pork Chop, Cream of Wheat, Pork Loin, Cold Cereal, Pork Roast, Maypo and Bob." Some how I decided that my imaginary child, Bob, isn't worthy of a nickname. Maybe it's because Bob is a little jerk who steals all the Oreos. Yeah, that's it. Damn Bob. Of..that was off topic so now I'll continue with Eli.

Eli is an instigator, clown, hard headed and so much more. At just 1 1/2 he already does things just to get a laugh, is stubborn as can be and loves to press your buttons. Oh and he loves to bite toes. Why toes, you ask? I have no idea but the kid loves it. He loves socks too, maybe he will be the next great podiatrist. Or maybe he will be that creepy guy that wants to look at your feet when you are trying on shoes. Either way, it's entertaining to say the least.

He can sign a few things now. I've tried for more but the stubbornness kicks in when trying to teach him anything. When he signs "all done" watch out, he puts some attitude behind it! He can say a few things, I think he might have a mild speech delay. I'll know more tomorrow, I signed him up for a developmental eval just to see where he falls. The kid is smart, he understands tons more than he can say. Again, this comes in handy when wanting to push buttons. He is super friendly and active. Eli loves kids and will warm up to others pretty easily. Of course, he doesn't know his own strength. When playing, if they other child doesn't respond to him, I wouldn't past him to throw a toy at them. Again..stubbornness.

I'm sure I will have tons of stories about Eli in the future. Well..as long as I don't neglect this blog again for a year. We'll see....

I'm such a bad updater..

2011-06-14T17:35:00.002-04:00

Ok, So I know it has been FOREVER since I last posted. In my defense though, I just had a baby! Alright, alright..I know, it's been over a year since Eli was born. I suppose I should fill you in on my little buggers.

All things Gage:

Gage is awesome! He is almost done preschool and will be heading to kindergarten in the fall. He won't be mainstreamed, not quite ready for that one. I'm happy with the room choice we make though, he will have his best buddy with him. Gage is really starting to talk more spontaneously now. He still needs a lot of prompting depending on the subject. Oddly enough though, I can teach him things that are of no use to him and he will retain it. Example: a few days ago I taught him to give two thumbs up and answer "this guy!" when asked "Who has two thumbs and loves ___." I can pretty much say anything and he will give the response. So far, it's pretty darn adorable. His fifth birthday is around the corner, which is just scary to me.

I have been in the process of trying to get Gage an IPad for sometime now. I applied for the few grants I could find, but have heard nothing so far. It would cost around $1000 once you add in the programs he would need, accident coverage, a case and other things. I am going to keep trying though. I think it would help him in so many ways. Yes, he has some speech but it's very delayed and more echoing than anything. With an IPad he could really open up and tell us what he wants and needs. If you see on the left, I added a little widget thing to help with fundraising. I'm not expecting to really get any donations, but a girl can hope! I hate begging, but it's all about what Gage needs.

All things Eli:

Well, what can I say about Eli besides the fact that he might be pure evil. No, seriously, the kid has a demon in him. He is one step from spitting pea soup at me. He is one pretty good little nugget though. His personality is so different than Gage's. I think I'm just not used to a typically developing kid so I just didn't know what to expect. I think Eli deserves a whole post to himself...so that's what I'm going to do.

This is short, but Eli calls...no one makes him wait for his dinner...nobody! :)

No, I didn't run off and marry an Elvis impersonator.

2010-02-16T15:42:00.006-05:00

I've been meaning to update this for a while now, but honestly I've been too lazy. Pregnancy can do that to you sometimes. I have a better excuse than that though....

Please Welcome....dun, dun, duuuuuunnnnnnn!

Eli Rylan Born on February 1st @ 8:20am 8lbs 9oz. 20in. long

So as you can guess I've been pretty busy not sleeping, healing from major surgery, making bottles, keeping Gage from feeling left out, getting pooped and peed on..you know, the usual newborn stuff.

So let me tell you a little about Eli... He is a little nugget, so much so I keep calling him that instead of his name. He already is a snuggler, loves his swing and has the ability to hit you with projectile poop.

Of course though, being my kid there had to be something that went wrong. No, nothing physically or anything like that...just something to set him up to be picked on forever. I had been waiting for the paper to print his birth announcement, it usually takes a few weeks before they do. I don't get the paper, I usually just read it online when I feel like it. Well my mother called me to let me know that they finally posted his announcement, with one little problem. They announced that HE was born a SHE. Yep, they put that Eli Rylan was a daughter born to us. Awesome. So of course I called paper to tell them they needed to correct it and reprint it, which they are going to do with the next batch of birth announcements. The thing is though, there will always be that first printing. Hopefully any of those kids born around when he was don't discover it and decided that my kid is a young tranny. If he wants to be when he is older, fine...I just don't want him picked on in school. Poor kid. I know he is pretty, but he is ALL boy. The little punching bag between his little frog legs prove it.

Anyway, here are a few more pictures of my little nugget.

He is just over two weeks old and just like Gage, he is pretty awesome.

Speaking of Gage....

When we first brought Eli home Gage had a hard time. He wouldn't go near you if you were holding him and the poor thing just looked sad and confused. Like he was the fat kid in dodge ball or something. He is slowly adjusting and we are making sure to give him extra attention. It seems to be working, he is starting to show more interest in Eli and not wanting to grab him out of your arms. He is gentle with him, but I'm sure that won't last for long...especially once Eli is older.

As far as Gage's progress...

He seems to be doing pretty good. It's hard to really know what is going on now because he is in school most of the day and he can't tell me what he did. I depend on the "daily" reports we get. I said that in quotes because they are totally not daily. Gage has an aide all day, so I need to call and make sure that I get a daily report. He is following directions much better and is a lot more social with people. Potty training is not going so well though, I mean, he is doing a few things for them but at home it's nonexistent.

I don't have any pictures of Gage to put on here because the little turd refuses to take a decent picture lately. Every single time he makes a face and not a flattering face. He will cross his eyes, pick his nose...pretty much anything to make the picture goofy.

As for me...I decided I really hate c-sections. Well..surgery in general. This c-section's recovery was worse than Gage's was. I'm still not to where I need to be and it's annoying.

I guess that's it for now...I need a nap.

I think I am having the spawn of Andre the Giant

2009-12-21T23:04:00.003-05:00

Seriously...

This baby is HUGE and kicking my butt on a regular basis. I really think he is doing jumping jacks in there.

Ok, so I went to my 33 week appointment and sonogram today. I thought I was going to schedule my c-section but no exact date yet. It's supposedly going to be January 25th or 26th...I pushed for the week before but everyone quickly told me no way. Hey, I can hope can't I? It hurts damnit!

While the sonogram lady was doing her sonogram thing I noticed she was scanning one thing over and over again. She did it about 8 times, so I was getting a little concerned and asked her what was going on. She asked me if Gage was a large baby, which he was good size..8lbs 7 3/4oz., 21 in long...and a big ole head(seriously, it was 38 cm.). I told her and she said to me.."Oh ok..well it looks like you are headed in that direction again." Wonderful. I knew I had a giant in there! I'm 33 weeks and the baby is measuring at 35 1/2 weeks. He already weighs over 5 pounds! It's a good thing they are delivering at 39 weeks because if not I'd have a 15 pounder. I've still only gained 9 pounds, which is good but he must be a little hog. I'm glad I'm not breast feeding!

So, Gage started preschool this past Monday..sniffle...

He did GREAT on Monday and Tuesday. He got on the bus and was all for it, I was even told he had a good first two days. Then it happened. This poor kid has my immune system, by Wednesday morning he had a fever and was like a limp noodle. So I kept him home and ended up keeping him Thursday too. By Friday, I figured I should try to send him again. This time he wasn't so into it and when I say not so into it I mean that even mentioning the word school made him cry. I should have taken this as a sign that he still wasn't feeling well but nope, I sent him. He gave me a look on the bus like I just ripped his heart out and pooped on it. I ended up picking him up early and it was a pathetic sight let me tell you. I got there at lunch time and he was sitting at the end of the table, runny nose, red eyes and whimpering. He saw me and my mother walk in and it was like we had a basket of candy, rainbows and gold there for him. He got up and just hugged me, hard. I half thought he was trying to choke me for sending him to school in the first place...either that or he was just that happy to see me. I prefer to believe the last one. The poor kid is still sick and didn't go today and won't be going tomorrow. Luckily he has vacation until the 4th after Tuesday but out of a total of 7 days of school he made it to roughly 2 1/2. I hate that he missed speech but hopefully it won't mess him up too much. I have pictures of the first week but I'm feeling lazy right now so I'll post them later.

Right now all I want is a taco and some sleep....anyone care to give me either of those? I've been good all year!

Shopping sucks

2009-11-22T16:58:00.002-05:00

Well, I just have one question...If you go and apply to work at Walmart, is it a prerequisite to be miserable if you want to be a cashier there?

Ok..let me backtrack and tell you what happened.

My mother and I went to the store to get a few things. I needed some different groceries and whatnot and she did too. So we figured we would head to Walmart because it's closer, cheaper and a necessary evil.

So, we get all of our goodies and head to the line. Now, I don't know how it is in every Walmart but the one here makes you want to punch a kitten when you go in to it. Don't get me wrong, not everyone that works there is incompetent. Actually most are just fine..but it's the few that ruin it for everyone.

That being said...we got one whopper of a cashier. Now, my mother and I were both in bad moods anyway. She didn't feel good and I was tired/cranky. You know those days where someone just looks at you and you want to be like "What are you looking at, huh? I'll cut you". That was the day we were having. So we get in line behind some old lady with oxygen sitting in her Rascal that had no clue how to use the credit card machine and couldn't comprehend when her transaction was over. Hell, she couldn't even tell when her stuff ended and mine began. It shouldn't have been so hard, I highly doubt she was buying anything with Mickey Mouse on it or anything else a 3 year old would want. She wasn't the real issue though, she's old..I get it. They woman she was with and the cashier was the problem.

The woman she was with was too busy talking about bingo with the cashier to move ahead(it was my turn) so the woman in the Rascal just stayed there. So there we are, half way down the register waiting to get up to pay..the cashier had already started ringing my stuff and they just stood there. My mother, being the ray of sunshine she was that day(it was hilarious..she was so crabby..but so wasn't I) decided to make a comment to the woman. It was something to the effect of "Come on old lady, I don't care about bingo and I don't have all day..get your Rascal moving." They didn't budge, or get the obvious hint. The cashier had to tell the woman like 3 times that this wasn't her stuff and her transaction was done. I even said like 5 times, "That's my stuff." Again..she didn't move. I was ready to hot wire her chair and push her up a little so I can pay. But no..Bingo talk was going on all while this was happening.

Finally, after about 10 minutes(I'm not kidding, it was at least 10 minutes of this) they moved up ever so slightly so I could pay and get my crap. Now, the lovely cashier was just Suzy Sunshine. She was all rainbows and candy, really...she just gave me a tooth ache because she was so sweet.

You catch that sarcasm there? Good.

She was an older lady too..and I swear I have no problems with old ladies, but these three took the cake.

Ok, as I was saying. She was the most miserable person ever. She didn't greet us, rude when she did talk, never once looked up and never told us our totals. Oh..and when I went to scan my card she was rude about the amount and said some stupid comment. So..I snapped back(because, I too can be Suzy Sunshine at times..I know, hard to believe..hehe). She was the same way with my mother when it was her turn.

Now, this is what I don't understand. If you are that unhappy working where you are or are that miserable then why are you working in retail? Retail sucks, especially big retail places because you get tons of people. Maybe she was having a bad day, fine..don't be miserable to me. I didn't take your last Ensure or make you run register. Neither my mother or my self were rude to this woman, she had no reason to be like she was. So, when we left we made sure to give her a big thank you and have a great day. I think I might have even called her Suzy Sunshine. Don't get me wrong..I don't hate older people..not at all. I just don't like rude, inconsiderable morons. Young, Old...I don't care. If you're a jerk, you're a jerk. Being young or old doesn't change that fact.

The store here in particular have a lot of cashiers like this. There is another one, she is younger..younger than me I think and she is one of the rudest people I have ever met. I want to kick her every time I get in line and she's the cashier. I usually avoid her line completely..but hers is usually the short line. With good reason too. It makes the whole experience in the store a bad one. I'm never was the world's best cashier or anything, but there is a thing called common courtesy. You are working with the public, be friendly..or at least be decent. Tell the customers their total, give them their bag, say hi...something. Don't just stand there like a miserable lump of poo. If you hate your job that much...quit or transfer to another part of the store. I have a hard enough time finding someone to actually help in the store, you can never find a worker and if you do it's "Not their department" or "Uh..I don't know". You never get a "I don't know, but I can find out for you." On a rare occasion where you do hear that...they leave, disappear and let you wait there forever..never to return.

Am I the only one that notices this? Is it only at the Walmart here? I just don't get it..they really need to up their standards on (most) employees. Again, not all of them are horrible..but for the 3 good, helpful ones you get 10 useless ones.

If you don't want to work with people, get out of retail or go work in the backroom.

There..I'm all done my rant about shopping in that store...I'm sure I will go back, again, the necessary evil thing but I will be biting my lip and hating every moment of it.

Oh and this day only got better..but that will be another post. It deserves it's own..trust me.

Little creatures are no friend of mine

2009-11-12T10:53:00.003-05:00

Well...I feel I need to declare something.

I HATE SKUNKS!

There, I said it. Now I feel so much better. Actually, I would feel even more better if there were no skunks at all, especially the skunks that are attracted to my porch.

Wait, let me back up a minute...

In my last post I mentioned quickly about a skunk smell that we were trying to get out of the house. That's because in two weeks time we got sprayed three times and it reeked. Like, drive you out of the house reek. We caught one little skunk but figured there must be one more. So, the live trap was set up again and we caught a cat. A stupid black cat that lives around here somewhere and loves all things garbage. Not a big fan of the scavenger cat, but I let it go after calling it a few names. So again, we set up the trap for that night and we got another skunk! This one was HUGE, like a small child could ride it huge. Ok, maybe not THAT huge, but trust me, it was biiiig. If I had to guess, because I didn't get that close, I would have to say it was like the size of small fox. Seriously, one big skunk. One big, smelly, soon to be dead skunk. Everyone was working so I called my mother to tell her we got another one and she said after work she would come over with my step brother to take care of it. Meaning, he would take care of it while she held a large piece of cardboard in front of her. It was quite funny to watch. Long story short, he got the skunk and it was the most foul smelling skunk I have ever smelled. I mean, like rotten garbage can juice on a hot day kind of smell. It was the kind of smell that stayed in your nose for a few hours.

So far, no more skunks. We're going to set up the trap one more time...actually, we did that once and caught the stupid black cat again. So, it is going up one more time and hopefully I will get rid of all the stupid skunks that like to taunt me. I have to admit, I felt all victorious after catching the second skunk. Like I was the "Skunk Hunter" or something. "The Skunk Hunter: Ridding the neighborhood of stink, one skunk at a time..." Not a name I think I really want though. I just want a skunk free porch.

Now, apparently we have a new friend. I think. This summer was a woodchuck, then the skunks and now...I think we might have a mouse in the ceiling. Last night I heard something that I haven't heard before and it made me sick all night thinking about it. So, today I am going to the store and getting traps, De con and whatever cleaning products I can find. This weekend, it's on! Granted, I have slacked with some household things. Not that I'm miss spic and span anyway but I'm not "Ms. Let's leave cereal on the floor for later" either. I'm sure with Gage there is a little of this or that here and there. I get it the best I can, but I can't deal with a mouse. If that is what it is. It taunts me, it's taunting me now without even knowing it. I'm all itchy and want to check everything for little turds. I have never seen anything in here and last night was the first I've heard a noise. So, that's good but still...the only mice I like are dead mice. If you haven't noticed, I'm not a fan of woodland creatures. I think I need to get a cat...

Alright, all critters and such aside...

I went to the doctors yesterday for my thumb. I have been waiting a year to go to this appointment and I get there and they want an x-ray. I guess because I shouldn't still have tightness/pain this long after surgery. So the doc orders an x-ray but I get to the x-ray place(right down the hall) and asked if it's ok for me to have one if I'm pregnant. Which, I kind of already knew it wasn't but still..I asked. So, as expected I couldn't get one. Now I have to wait until after I pop this baby out to go back and get things started. Fun times.

Well..I'm getting closer to the end of this whole pregnancy. I must say, I can't wait! I feel like complete crap. I'm tired, sore, can't breathe and hate heartburn. Oh...and I would like to be able to not have ginormous boobs anymore. I mean, they were large and in charge before..but now..the need their own zip code, seriously. It's scary. I've gone from "Look at the chick with big boobs" to "DAAAAAAYUM!!". I'm like a circus freak. They need to go.

Other than the crazy chesticle growth, things are good. I'm still not gaining any weight but the baby is..I think I really started to pop now. I go in two more weeks for my appointment so we will see the damage on the scale then. I have a feeling that this no weight gain thing is coming to an end. I had a good run, but it's time to play catch up I think.

I have pretty much everything I need, except a few more packages of diapers, another set of bottles, a pack and play and random little things that are easy to get. I should have stuff from Gage, but stupid me either sold or gave it away. Not all, but enough of it.

Speaking of my lil' old man, he is such a turd! He had a new word...Walmart. Yep, Walmart. He saw a commercial when we were visiting my cousin and he pointed and said "Malmart". Now, this made me think that we go there way to often. So I'm thinking that I need to cool off on the trips with Gage there. I hate going there, but it is a necessary evil because I'm too lazy to go to three stores for the things I need to buy. Although, I do need to go there today....crap!

Alright, lunch is calling...actually screaming my name. So it's off we go!

Wait! I forgot some really good news! Duh! ::slaps forhead::

We got the results of Gage's blood work from the genetic center. He has no chromosomal abnormalities, fragile x, the one gene for Autism they can now look for(I guess, some kids on the spectrum have this gene) or anything else! He is completely chromasomially good. :) Which is good news.

Ok, now I'm done.

H-A-double L-O..W-double E-N spells Halloween!

2009-11-02T11:38:00.006-05:00

So, my favorite holiday has come and gone and this year I wasn't really into it. I usually dress up and have my costume planned months in advance...but I had no motivation. I wasn't even excited about going trick or treating..well, I mean I was excited for Gage and curious how it would turn out. I was unsure if he would even like it.

Wait...let me back up a minute.

Let me start with pumpkins and the pumpkin patch. This year we had A LOT of pumpkins, mostly because they were free but also because I had the oh so brilliant idea to paint the pumpkins instead of carve them. Then we wouldn't have a goopy pumpkin mess. Sounds good in theory, right? Well...being the brilliant idea comer-upper that I am, I figured let's paint all of the Little Einstein characters on the pumpkins! Of course, I procrastinated and didn't actually do them until oh...a week before Halloween. I will say though, I am pretty happy with the result and the fact that Gage knew what each one was made it a success in my book.

Here is a picture of all of the pumpkins on the porch.

My favorite pumpkin, Leo

Rocket

Quincy

Annie and my least favorite pumpkin, June.

So..over all, not too shabby if I do say so myself. I did like that it gave me something crafty to do. We also went to the pumpkin patch a few times this year, which Gage loved.

Gage attempting to pick up his pumpkin

Gotta love that smooshy face

The mall had a little trick or treating event, like every year "Mall-O-Ween". We've brought Gage in the past, but this year I think he actually got the concept that he was getting candy. Of course, he got to do it the lazy way...he stayed in a cart. He did get out a few "treats" and "thank you's" to the people handing out the candy.

Treat or Treating the lazy way..

Not wanting to keep his hood on..it was warm in the mall

He got a decent amount of candy, but I don't think we will be able to keep it. More on that in a minute.

So...for actual Halloween night Justin and I were planning on bringing Gage out early, but of course, we were running late. By the time we go to where we were going, around 6, Gage fell asleep in the car.

We figured we would get him up because it was way too early for him to be sleeping and if he slept he would be up all night. So we get him in the stroller and start off to the houses. Gage did awesome! He walked to each door, knocked on a few of them, said a few "treat's" and a few "thank you's". I think he might have melted a few hearts when he signed thank you to them.

Heading up to a house with Daddy

Walking with Daddy again.

We finally left, after getting a little lost and got home around 8ish. It was good, Gage got a lot of candy and had fun.

Here is from the beginning of the night, isn't he adorable?

Ok..so on to the other fun news. So for the past two weeks we have been playing a tug of war with a skunk that decided to make a home under our porch. We got sprayed three times in two weeks! The first time, I was alone thank god because the smell was so bad that it woke me up at 6:15 am but I stayed home because it wasn't that bad. The second time, poor Gage was here and again..it was 6:15. Justin was heading to work and it woke me up. I woke up and Gage was up too, laying with his blanket over his nose. Poor guy..we ended up leaving and going to my mother's. We stayed there for a few days because it was so bad. The third time I was alone again..Justin's parents were keeping Gage overnight. I was on the phone with Justin while he was doing an overnight, so it was around 1:30am. I could smell it again and it wasn't long before I was heading to Justin's parents. Needless to day, it was a long night and even longer next day. We finally caught a skunk in a live trap we borrowed. I still think there might be one more...but we will see. I'm still trying to get the rest of the smell out, it seeped into some stuff and it's a pain to get the smell out.

ok...

Now, on to baby update...

Everything is going good, I'm getting that round baby belly. I still haven't gained any weight, but the baby is getting bigger. I don't get why I am not gaining, I eat. As long as things are going good though, that's what matters. I go in a few weeks for another sonogram. Less than 100 days left! I better get to cleaning!

Oh and I forgot to add..Gage is doing awesome! I started to keep a count of what he says and I lost track. He is at at least 200+ words. He just is absorbing and repeating everything, it's nice to hear him talk but it's hard to figure out what some of it is. A lot of times when he says something, because a lot of it sounds similar I go through the list until he says "yeah". Horrible, but it's the only way to figure it out. He should be starting school soon..but we'll see how that goes.

Alright, that's enough for now..the grape juice Gage spilled is calling me to clean it.

Getting beat up by a baby is no fun..

2009-10-15T11:50:00.003-04:00

It's true, I am getting my butt kicked by someone that hasn't even been born yet. This little squirmy baby is kicking me up, down and yes, all around. I get kicked on the left and right sides..at the same time. I think I have one large and long baby brewing. I have no idea how much he weighs right now, I do know that at 19 weeks they said he weighed about 12 oz. and from what I looked up, the average at 19 weeks is 9 oz. So, 3 oz. might not sound like a lot, but when you are the size of a banana it is...picture a banana that weighs almost a pound! Gage was a larger baby, weighing 8 lbs. 7 3/4 oz. but I think this one will take(and probably eat) the cake.

Oh and I know a lot of people know now..but we have an official name. Are you ready for it? Drum roll please....
brrrrrr....bum.....brrrrrr...bum

We're going with Eli Rylan. Now..if you think of the entire name, first/middle/last the initials will spell out something. That's right! It's spells my last name! I thought it was cute and luckily, Justin didn't oppose....too much. Eli isn't going to be short for anything, no Elijah, Elliot, Elias..nope..just Eli. So I'll have Gage and Eli. I think it's a good combo, both different but not like naming them Pancake and Falafel. No offence to anyone naming their kids after those foods..just not my cup of tea, that's all.

So far things are going good with the pregnancy. I'm still wicked tired, no appetite(I've gained 0 lbs.) and I'm carrying so different than I did with Gage. I'm just to the point now where my back is very sore all the time and I have to be careful how I lay down...so I don't leak all over myself. Sorry..TMI, I know.

Update on Gage:

He's awesome. lol..I know I say that all the time, but hey, it's true. He is awesome. I started to keep an official list of the things he says..so far I am up to over 120 words. I'm sure there are more, but when trying to remember them all..I was proud I remembered as many as I did. So, needless to say, he is doing really well. Especially when less than 6 months ago I wouldn't have guess he said 30 words. He should be starting preschool soon..but who knows. It all depends when they open the room...I'd like to know soon though, I have things to do to get him ready! This coming week will be interesting. We go to the genetic doctor and Gage gets blood drawn. I am not looking forward to it, they are going to sedate him. Not looking forward to that either. I guess this will be a test to see if we ever do it again. I'm already thinking no. Hopefully things go well...

I can smell a poopy diaper, so it's time to do some cleaning!

Why do I even bother looking around?

2009-09-25T20:21:00.002-04:00

I just watched a video from Autism Speaks called "I am Autism". I heard a few bad things about it, but I thought that I would watch it myself and get my own opinions about it. When it was done, I was disgusted. In my opinion it makes Autism sound like some evil little troll coming to capture your children. Now I have gone through all the emotions a parent would go through when finding out their child is Autistic. I was in denial, mad, sad, very angry and then I got over my own little pity party and realized that Gage was still Gage. I didn't "lose" anything, I gained an understanding of how to relate better to my child. He is still the same goofy, loving, smart little boy he has always been. I just know better now how to help him communicate and deal with the things around him. I am sure a lot of parents go through a grieving like process when their child is first diagnosed, that is understandable. I think I did because it wasn't that I was losing anything, it was the fact that I had no idea what could or couldn't be. That was the scariest thing and that, is what made me angry/sad/upset. Of course I couldn't know what Gage's future holds even if he was never diagnosed, but you have ideas and know a general idea. School, college, marriage, grand kids...the whole shebang. The thing is, all of that is still possible. Gage could go on to become anything, whether that be a CEO of a big company or a fry cook. Of course, I hope for the first one...what parent wouldn't, lol. My point is, that video makes it sounds that there is no future or possibilities and it couldn't be farther from the truth. Autistic children and adults(yes, Ms. M..they Do exist) in my opinion have a limitless future. Of course, that being said that future could be different for each person. If someone is completely nonverbal and dependant on someone else, maybe that future is to try to get to a different goal than someone that is verbal and is not dependent.

I don't claim to have any special incite on Autism, in fact I am sure in the big scheme of things I know very little. What I do know is my son and that is all I need to know. I just don't understand why there is such a huge divide in the Autism community. You do what you do and I will do what I do. That should be all there is about it. I have my opinions and I have chosen what I think is right for my child. You do the same and leave me alone. Yes, I have finger pointed in the past in the blog..but understand, that is when my son was first diagnosed and I was bombarded with information. Much of it I didn't understand at the time and I had a lot of emotions going through me. Now, my take on things are I don't care what you do or preach. I am going to what I believe is best for my child. I do know though, that I do not appreciate an organization that is "committed" to help people doing the opposite. How can you help someone when you won;t even allow the people you claim to help have a voice in your organization? It makes no sense to me at all.

No, I do not know what it is like to have a child that is completely nonverbal that is dangerous to himself or possibly others. I will admit, I could no imagine what that is like. I know that there are times when I get frustrated, discouraged and just down right tired from day to day life with Gage. Would I ever want to change him? HELL NO! I just can't stand people saying that their child is "broken" or need to be "cured". I think it is irresponsible for a parent to say that about their child because to hear that from your own parent is devastating. How could you talk about your child like that? They may not be what you expected them to be, but they are still a person with thoughts, feelings and emotions. They do not deserve to be told they are "broken". NO one deserves that, Autistic or not. How would you like to go through your life being told that you needed to be "fixed"? I am not saying that you are a bad person for wanting to improve the quality of your child's life but they are not less of a person because they are Autistic. This video to me, makes it seem like just that. That because a child had Autism that they are some how less of a person. That is complete horse crap! I don't get how an organization like this can speak for something in a constantly negative way. I'm not saying Autism is all sunshine and roses, it isn't, but it isn't all manure and worms either. Its like having someone that is anorexic speak at a convention for obese people. Where is the logic in that? I feel like Autism Speaks is really cutting out a huge portion of the Autistic community by not having any Autistic adults, parents with "high" functioning children and adults with Asperger's a voice in the organization. How about instead of pouring millions into a nonexistent cure, putting that money into the homes of the people that truly need it. Set up something so children with Autism can get the services they need, devices that will help them in their day to day life...help create more schools, train more speech/occupational/physical therapists and special ed teachers..something! Maybe use that money to help low income families with Autistic children or help for Autistic adults in job training and life skills so if possible they can be more self sufficient. How about improving housing for the individuals that can not help themselves? Give better training for people that work in ARC homes so they can take better care of Autistic individuals? Nah..instead lets pay the organization workers triple digit salaries. That works.

There is so much more that can be done, but many people are just focusing on negative things. Why not help the communities? What about support groups, counseling sessions for parents with newly diagnosed children? Maybe then, they could get much needed information and talk to other parents. I know if that would have been available when my son was first diagnosed it would have been awesome. It would give such so much help to parents going through all the confusion and emotions of wondering what is next. I still have a lot to learn about how to help Gage and am grateful for the support system he has. He has wonderful therapists that I am sure must have gotten sick to death with all my questions. I still have questions that will probably never be answered. Do I know what is in store for Gage's future? Nope, but I do know that his possibilities are endless in my opinion. Right now we make short term goals and it works for us. We have some long terms ones in there too, don't get me wrong. I fully believe that when he is older he will be in school, hold down a job and be a functioning part of society. I would never not think he wouldn't be. Why put a limit on him? He doesn't deserve to be halted before he even tries.

I know, I am full of opinions and you might think.."Well why not get off your pregnant butt and do something about it?" or "Well, your son is this or that and you don't get what it is like with a child that is this or that." Nope, I don't. I cant speak for you and your child just like you cant speak for me or mine. Neither can an organization that is so one sided..that is the point to what I was saying here. Yes, it was a long winded, highly opinionated way to get to it. That's me though and this is my blog. If you don't like it, don't read it. I'm not holding your mouse from wondering up to that little X now am I? Nope. Basically, this is what I am thinking and feeling at this moment and I felt like getting it all out. I am entitled to do so on my personal blog.

Oh and yes, I know I tend to babble..so I apologize if I said the same thing 100 times. My mind tends to go faster than my fingers can hit the keys.

So much for keeping up to date..

2009-09-21T17:41:00.003-04:00

Well, it has been a month since I last posted anything. Didn't I say not long ago that I was going to keep this up to date? Nah..I couldn't have said that, because I know I would have done what I said I would do. But anyways..

I am officially at the half way point of this pregnancy! As Gage would say..HOO HOO! I've done pretty good so far, besides being wicked tired and a bit grumpy. What, me? Grumpy?? NEVER! I had my 20 week sonogram the other day. Justin came with me, which was nice because he missed Gage's sonogram because I was in another state. Watching his face was the fun part for me. So..I went in there hoping for a girl but pretty sure it would be a boy. Especially since everyone it seems is having girls. I always have to be the odd ball and do the opposite. While the sonographer(or whatever the official title is) was doing her thing, she was checking out the kidneys and I saw a little bubble. Now, once I saw that I knew it would be a boy. Justin was oblivious so I didn't say anything. Then, of course...she started to scan lower and I was right! I TOLD Justin not to call the baby she until he knew for sure! So there you have it...hot dogs:3 buns:1. I'm getting another momma's boy. I'm pretty sure we have a name, at least we(actually I) picked one out. I think we are going to go with Eli. It's different but not too out there and it goes well with Gage.

The sonogram was pretty neat though, a lot different from Gage's. This baby is active and has HUGE feet! While it was going on the baby's mouth was moving, hands were going and fingers wiggling all over. From what I could see...we have a big footed, fat cheeked baby brewing. I'm good with that, I'd rather have a baby with a little more meat on their bones. Then I don't feel like I'm going to break it. Now, I won't lie...the minute she said it was a boy I started to worry. I started to think, ok...I need to start with sign language right when the baby is born, just in case. Then, I thought I need to really keep track of milestones, fine/gross motor skills, socialization, eye contact..all of that stuff. All of this is going through my head while laying there. Of course, this baby not be on the spectrum at all, but it is more likely for another boy to be than a girl. Not that it would matter anyway, but it's still a worry. Alt east we know what to look for and have a support system already set.

Now..another good thing is that I have sooo many clothes that still have tags on them from Gage that I can now use! Plus I have onesies coming out my butt..not literally of course, that would be odd. I won't use all of Gage's old clothes on this baby, because those are Gage's memories. But I can use a lot of it.

Speaking of Gage..he is continuing to be awesome...lol. Actually he is doing great with his speech and sensory. He is saying so much and really trying to say even more. He is even starting to say things with out prompts. One thing in particular that is adorable that he does is point to my belly and say baby or sometimes will say brother. How cute is that? We're waiting patiently for the go for school. As soon as they open another room, Gage is in. I'm still hoping for one room over another, but any room is better than no room. I think in a room Gage will just blossom. I would make my usual list of the new things Gage says, but I'm too tired to think of all of them! I'll have to put in on here later.

I'm sure there is more to update and sorry about the lack of pictures. I do have some..of the sonogram and from a recent trip to the pumpkin patch but those will have to come on another post. I'm going to sneak a quick nap while I can.

Part 2:The Blogging Continues...

2009-08-20T17:41:00.008-04:00

As stated in my last post, this one is all about my little man!(well..pretty much).

Last week Gage turned the big 3! He got off pretty easy, he got to play, relax, get presents(LOTS of them) and eat cake. Me on the other hand got the poopie end of that lollipop.(sorry, I've been watching Dodgeball..). For about 2-3 weeks before the actual day of the party I scrambled to get decorations, cake ingredients/decorations/pans, gift bags, stuff for gift bags...and I realized I spent WAY too much money..but that's besides the point. So far, every birthday Gage has had, has had a theme. His first birthday was The Backyardigans, his second was Cars and this year was Little Einstein's. Now each year, once a theme is decided I comb through stores and online for decorations, wrapping paper and whatnot to match the theme. I have noticed a theme so far with this. EVERY year, no matter what the theme is..no where has anything for that theme. Until the following year that is, then they have it all over the place. I couldn't find The Backyardigans stuff ANYWHERE when I wanted it and now..it is in all the party supply stores. The same goes for Cars and now you cant turn around in a store without seeing Cars decorations. I figured this would happen so I started looking online for this year. I knew I could get somethings at the Disney website..of course I printed tons of things and then never used them. So I totally wasted my mother's ink(sorry..). I had such a hard time finding things this year, more than I could have thought. I finally found a site that sold what I wanted and it wasn't the cheapest, but cheaper than anywhere else. So I got a little of this and that, then figured I could improvise the rest. I ordered a few things and they were expected to be in on the 4th, which was perfect since the party was on the 9th. I get the box when expected but I opened it to make sure everything was there. Of course..it was missing stuff! I would have been ok if it was just missing a thing of cups, I could deal with that. Oh no, we were missing the banner, table cloths, cups and blowers! I think the pick and pack person doing my order must have been drunk or something to miss that much stuff...not to mention, some of the more important items! To top it all off, the number on the invoice was not a valid number. I spend the rest of the day searching for people to yell at, lol. I ended up calling the corporate office and telling them I wanted the rest of my order rushed to me or they can take it all back. Yes, this was am empty promise on my part, because I knew I couldn't get the stuff anywhere else...but it worked!

Now, me being how I am thought it was an awesome idea to make Gage a cake that looked like Rocket. Big mistake. Oh but that wasn't enough, I had to make butter cream frosting..from scratch. Bigger mistake. I've made butter cream before, but it is a pain in the butt if you don't have a nice mixer. Which I don't, I have a little hand mixer..some day I will have my Kitchen Aid Artisan mixer..some day..sigh...When I do get one, it is cookies, cakes and pastries for everyone! Anyway.two days before Gage's party comes around and I realize I better get cracking on this cake. I also have to make the sign that says "Happy Birthday", stuff the gift bags, wrap presents, make the frosting, make the cake, carve the cake..and on and on. I also had a wedding to go to the day before the party(those were the pictures from the previous post). So Friday night I get all the presents wrapped(I over bought..big surprise there huh?), got the sign made and the gift bags all set. I must say, I was pretty proud of the gift bags..I think they were cute. I personalized each one and tried to split everything evenly.

The sign I made for him..cheaper than getting one made for me!

The gift table(well, part of it) and gift bags..

Oh..by the way.. none of these photos are edited..I got lazy :)

Alright so now about this whole cake mess. To make a long story short, I went all over trying to find the correct pans for this cake but couldn't find them anywhere. So I spent more than I would like to mention on a football shaped pan so I could get the proper shape for part of Rocket. Now..I got all the cakes made and it was time to carve. I was NOT looking forward to this part. I spent the better part of a day making this cake. I let the cakes cool so I could carve them easier, then it was so hot in the house that once I made the butter cream I had to keep letting it cool in the fridge so it wouldn't melt. So I got the cake all carved, frosted and set after staying up until 2am! The next day my forearm hurt like a mother from everything. I don;t think its as good as it could have been, but I think Gage liked it. Next year, I'm doing a sheet cake! I didn't even want to eat it, but from what I was told it came out pretty good.

Full view of cake..again, not edited so its a little dark.

Close up of Rocket.

Towards the end, I got a little messy with decorating. My hand hurt too much for me to care about it, especially at 2 am.

All in all it was a successful party. We had a lot of people show up, Gage got some awesome presents. The next day we went to my mothers(where the party was held) and he ran to the back door looking for his party again. It was cute. We had a few other things happen to...

Gage was excited to see his party.

Jack was a little flirt, of course

Kasey actually got to snag Rocket away from Gage(this rarely happens)

Gage got excited to get Rocket back

and Hayden gave Jack driving lessons.

Thanks to everyone that came to celebrate with Gage and thank you all for the wonderful presents!

The next day, Gage's actual birthday I was determined to take Gage out all day. We rarely get to do this with his therapy. So I figured we would go feed the ducks at the hospital, maybe go play at the park, go out to eat and just play all day. We did pretty good for the most part. Gage LOVED feeding the ducks, me..no so much. I'm not one for ducks that growl at you or come so close that you think they will bite you. Oh and if you are noticing..yes, Gage does have the same outfit on..I washed it. I just wanted him to wear his birthday boy shirt again, lol. Here are some pictures from that little adventure(again, not edited).

Headed to the pond...

Checking out the crazy ducks with his Mee Mee.

See how close they got! It took bread from my hand!

Throwing bread to the crazy ducks.

Taking his revenge! Chasing the seagulls!

Playing Peek-a-boo with Mee Mee.

Ok..so I did edit one picture...this kid loves trees!

By the end of the day, this is what happened.

Alright, I know I said before I would have wedding things in this post...but I am not even close to being done editing those..so next time, maybe.

Pictures, Pictures Everywhere!

2009-08-17T14:25:00.007-04:00

This is going to be short and sweet, hopefully..but I doubt it. I have a lot to update so I might just have to do this in a 3 parter(yes, I know that isn't really a word). I think for this on I will just update on some stuff that happened a little bit ago. Rachel's pregnancy pictures and a recent wedding I was at. The next blog I will finally put things from Gage's birthday and then another wedding from this past weekend.

Ok..here we go!

So about a month ago an old friend from high school came up for her baby shower. I made the trek down to Crown Point(gotta love GPS!) with Gage(sometimes I thought GPS meant "Gage Please Stop") and went to the shower. I had already told Rachel(Did I already say it was Rachel's shower..well, it was) that part of her gift was that I would do pregnancy photos for her. I figured it was win/win. She got pictures, I got some practice and of course an easy gift. On second thought, maybe it was more win/really win, lol. I also gave her two other homemade gifts that I was nervous to give her, because I wasn't sure about how they came out. I'm no Martha Stewart you know! The day after her shower I met with her in town to do her pictures. Here are just a few that I have finally edited(I've mostly done belly shots so far). I do need to finish the rest and I will before her little guy is one, I swear!

The lovely little couple

Isn't she cute?

This bottom one is one of my favorites. I barely edited this one, just a little adjustment on the color. I got pretty luck with the lighting. :)

Ok, THIS one is my favorite so far.

Another thing I did around the time of Gage's birthday was go to a wedding. I wasn't the photographer, but at my mother's request I brought my camera along. I didn't have the best vantage point for pictures and I wasn't about to run around taking pictures at a wedding that was not mine to take. I thought that would be rude(plus I was pretty tired and it was soo hot out), so I sat in my seat and got what I could from where I was. I wasn't really into taking much that day, but I think I got a few "doable" pictures. Mainly, it was some stuff to play around with and get ideas for the wedding that I just did with Danielle and for the wedding that is coming up in two weeks.

This last one is my favorite :)

Of course there are some more, but I'm too lazy to upload any others. Plus, I DID say this would be short, didn't I? :) Don't mind the color on all of these pictures, I swear uploading them makes them look so different.

Anyway, I guess that's it for now. Off I go to the store with my mother and Gage. Stay tuned next time for part 2...Gage's birthday.

I suppose I'm over due..

2009-08-05T17:09:00.002-04:00

Not overdue as far as the baby..I still have a very long way to go. I mean over due as far as a new blog. I sort of got in a blog rut and didn't feel like doing much of anything. I figured I might as well do it now, so when I put stuff up about Gage's birthday party(this Sunday) I wont have to have a long blog.

So..things are pretty much the same here. Gage is doing awesome with his therapy. He has just started saying so many new things and trying to say so much more. He is intimidating things all day and trying to say anything and everything. It's nuts to think of where he started and where he is now. We knew EI was helping, but didn't realize how much until he started just running with what he is learning. I'd love to say it was all me being home with him, lol but it totally wasn't. Krystal and Tony are a huge part of that, if they didn't drill in that language in him almost every day, who knows where he would be. It helps that now he is willing to do therapy too, it took a long time to get him to accept new people and new demands. He's stubborn, like his daddy.

Gage is going to be 3 years old. How crazy is that?? We're planning a Little Einstein's party for him on Sunday. It should be interesting, hopefully the weather holds out. I have a bunch of cleaning to do to get ready for people. I mean, most of the people that are coming to the party have already seen the house, but still...I need to tidy up a bit. I've been slacking...a lot. I'm getting pretty ambitious and making his cake to look like rocket from the show. I'm going to have to do a lot of cake carving and am making butter cream from scratch. Why you ask? Oh, because I just have 100 hours in a day and need the stress of making the perfect rocket cake. Yes, it does need to be perfect, because if it's not..I will do it over again. I'm just that anal with things like that. I'll post pictures once the party comes and goes.

Here is the new, improved list of Gage's new words/signs(new stuff is in bold):

So as of right now Gage with say:

No, Yeeeeah(yeah), Rake, Niiii(night), Baaawl(ball), hi, by-eeee(bye), Caynedee(candy), Paine(Plane), Hoo Hoo(woo hoo)..Bahbumbowlbee(bumblebee), Dahdahdee(daddy), Mamomby(mommy), Mama, Mahmeembee(Meme..(my mother)), Waaah(want), Dow(down), Baybabee(baby), lahshoe(love you), Tea(tree), Eeeff(leaf), Ky(sky), Peas(please), Nutty(Tony), Nana(Briana), Eeoh(leo..from Little Einsteins), Aayie(Annie from L.E. too), Nincy(Quincy..again, L. E.), Oohne(June..once again, L.E.), Eee(eat),and again..some random other things mixed in there that I am sure I am forgetting....

Gage can sign:
More, all done, down, eat, want, drink, candy, thank you, please, rocket, help, swing..again, some others on occasion..he is also now doing water, sit and blowing kisses, waving hi and bye..Flip(his own made up sign for it)

As you can see, his speech is taking off..it seems everyday he comes out with a new word.

Pregnancy #2 is going pretty good. I'm still tired, but not like I was. I'm stuffed like a flippin' teddy bear though. It's awful, I get sick almost every morning because I am so stuffed up. I went to the doctors the other day for an appt./sonogram and was told that I can take decongestants. Hopefully that will help with the nausea from being so stuffed up. I was also told that I am further along that originally thought. I knew for some reason I would get a new due date. I had 3 with Gage, so now I have had 3 with this one. It started out as February 14th, then the 9th and now the 6th. I went in there being 12 weeks 5 days pregnant and leaving as 13 weeks 3 days pregnant. So..maybe next time I will be 20 weeks 5 days pregnant. One can only hope, right? lol. I was told though, that I would deliver earlier than my due date because I'm going to have another c-section. So chances are that I will actually have this one in January, which is fine by me..that's less time being uncomfortable. I just want to know what it is...I'm getting irritated not knowing.

Well, I guess that's about all my news. So exciting right? I'll post pictures from this coming weekend at some point..I still have other photos I need to finish editing. I swear I will edit them soon(sorry Rachel..)!

Updates and of course...a rant...

2009-07-14T16:11:00.004-04:00

So before I really get into what I plan on this post being about, I'll do a little update.

Pregnancy #2-
Is KICKING my butt! I mean, seriously...it is wiping me out. This little bugger is sucking all the energy out of me. I'm officially 10 weeks today, but I go to the doctors August 3rd for another sonogram for dating. So, I may just get a 3rd due date then. So far its been February 14Th and now it's the 9Th. So well see...oh and I have a great girl's name..but for a boy, having a bit of a hard time. No one likes Oliver...I think it's adorable.

Gage-
Well, Gage is awesome he is saying more and more. He is also becoming quite the turd. Really, he is a stinker and a half. The other day I was telling him not to do something and I went "Uh ahh, no no" and he whipped around and while continuing what he was doing said me to "uh ahh AHHH" with a little devilish smile. Like I said, turd.

Things are all over right now with what is going on for the fall with Gage. Thanks to Pyramids closing I'm sure there are many people going through this too. Right now I am hoping to get Gage in an 8:1:1 room, but its going to be hard, I'm sure. So anyway...let me keep this short and give a little status report on Gage's new things. I'll copy and paste from the last post and put the new things in bold.

So as of right now Gage with say:

No, Yeeeeah(yeah), Rake, Niiii(night), Baaawl(ball), hi, by-eeee(bye), Caynedee(candy), Paine(Plane), Hoo Hoo(woo hoo)..Bahbumbowlbee(bumblebee), Dahdahdee(daddy), Mamomby(mommy), Mama, Mahmeembee(Meme..(my mother)), Waaah(want), Dow(down), Baybabee(baby), and again..some random other things mixed in there....

Gage can sign:
More, all done, down, eat, want, drink, candy, thank you, please, rocket, help, swing..again, some others on occasion..he is also now doing water, sit and blowing kisses, waving hi and bye

So, there is some progress..not that everything is 100% consistent..but it's getting there.

Ok..there is my update..now on to the meat and potatoes of this blog....

I have been thinking lately about a certain topic. Deadbeat dads. Now you may be wondering "Barbie, why the heck are you thinking about this?". Well..for a few reasons...for one, I have been talking to a friend of mine..I wont name names, because its no ones business. Her child has a deadbeat father and boy is he a doozie of a deadbeat. There is that and of course the fact that I also have one. Most of my friends know about this, but let me give a quick history so you can understand where I am coming from with what I am going to write.

My mother was young when she had me. She turned 19 two months after having me, so she was 18 when I was born. She met my father through her sister. Now, let me try to explain this so it doesn't sound wrong. My mother;s blood sister married a man..ok, he has a brother. So basically think two blood sisters dating two blood brothers. There isn't any mixing of genes or family stuff...there was no inbreeding. I have to explain that because when I simply say my father is my uncle's brother..it doesn't sound quite right. Now you get it? Ok..good, moving on. My mother met my father through my aunt and uncle. I don't know a lot about the courtship or if there even was one. I do know this, she moved to Kansas to be with him and was going to high school out there. He was in the military and he was not the nicest person. She left him because of certain reasons and unknown to her, she left Kansas with a carry on in her belly...me. So, I was SOOO not planned, obviously. Ok..so to cut this a little short, basically he was told she was pregnant and he denied everything. He claimed that she slept with some 80 year old that lived downstairs. Now, I know my mother and there is no way in hell that would have happened. Eww. He just didn't want to take responsibility. I'm sure part of that is because he was divorced and already had one child he didn't bother with (a son). Long story short, he always denied me, my mother never went after him for anything (her words: "I didn't need that bastard's money" lol) and I saw him all through out my childhood. Not as a father/daughter thing...oh no, but since it was my uncle's brother and I was with my cousin's a lot. Whenever there was any function and I went with them, he was there and ignored me the entire time. I was the pink elephant in the room, or so it felt to me. So I never had a father, second set of grandparents or anything like that. I had my mom, gram and my mother's side of the family. Not that I am complaining...

Now before I get into my little rant, let me give you one more bit of info on my background on this. I had never spoken to my father (or as I like to call him, the sperm donor..useless sack of air..whatever you prefer). I finally spoke to him for the first time at my cousin's wedding (it's her uncle..remember from above?). So, this was..if I remember correctly 22 years in the making and he saw me walking by and waved me to come over. Apparently, alcohol gives you some morals/balls/whatever. So, I went over..oh and poor Justin was there too..lol. Now, if you are going to talk to your child for the first time EVER what is the first thing you would say to her? I am guessing it would not be the following..."So, were you a jock in school?" HUH? A JOCK?!?! Are you that much of an idiot? Apparently he is, because that is the first thing my father ever said to me. Great memory to have, right? So, we talked for a little bit..basically I told him that I thought he was a coward and selfish. I also told him he had no idea what I thought/felt/went through as a child up to that point. He went on about how "Oh, I didn't know..blah blah" basically saying how he didn't know if I was his. So I threw out my ace. My mother's blood type is O, mine is A+. So I said to him "What is your blood type?", he responds "A+". So, being my sarcastic self...I responded with "Well what the hell do you know, I think we have a bingo!". He looks at me confused, so I say "Well, isn't it odd that you "never knew" but we have the same exact blood type and my mothers isn't...not to mention that I am taller than her(like him), have curly hair(no one oh her side has natural curls), I have larger feet (like him)" and I went on and on. Well..needless to say, he didn't know what to say to me. Oh wait, except this..."Wow, you have quite the attitude don't you?". No, I did not just make that up..that's what he said, the dumb ass. So, I respond with "Well what the F@$K do you expect me to have? Do you expect me to be all rainbows and sunshine (again with the sarcasm, lol)? I grew up wondering what the hell was wrong with me, wondering why I wasn't good enough to have a father, why couldnt I get a birthday card and then I realized that you were the one missing out. You are the one that is the loser. Of course I have an attitude and rightfully so, jackass." lol..oh, and this entire time Justin is still standing there..poor poor Justin. Well..through it all, I shut him up and that was the first and last time I talked to him. That was when I was 22...I'm almost 28. I guess maybe when I am 42 I can look for another confrontation. So there is the Cliff's Notes of the history, the "meat" if you will...now on to the "potatoes".

So, as you could understand talking to my friend about her situation and her child gets me all fired up. I of course, empathize with her but sympathize with her child. I know all too well what her child is going to go through as the years go on. I just don't understand one thing, I am sure it will never be answered. How is it a man can produce a child and just leave it? Not all men, I know that..but some..way too many do. From my understanding there are a few types of deadbeat dads.

1-Men who were with the women, had the baby..stayed around and then poof, one day they are gone.

2-Men who hear the word pregnant and run off.

3-Men who do one of the above and then decided to come in and out of the child's life confusing the hell out of it and making matters worse.

I don't understand how these people(let's face it, they are not men, barely boys) can not have any emotions. I know a lot of them blame the woman and that's why they are not around. Well..excuse me, I don't care how crazy/mean/bitchy/psycho/controlling/weird/whatever someone may be, that is your flesh and blood..your hatred towards the mother shouldn't keep you away. You only have to deal with the woman for seconds at a time. Its YOUR child, man up and take responsibility.

How the hell can they look themselves in the mirror? Especially the ones that buy things for themselves and work under the table so they don't have to provide for their children. All of this while in most cases the mothers are working 2 jobs, barely making ends meet and are struggling just to buy diapers. I just don't get it.

Don't you just love when some of these people do this more than once to women? Like the ones that have kids like they are trying to make their own small country? In my case, I have 2 half brothers that I haven't actually met. I doubt I ever will.

I wish once that these guys would put themselves in the child's shoes. Do they realize that there are many things that will go through their heads? Some of them being:

-Why doesn't he love me?
-What is wrong with me?
-Why cant I have a father?
-Why is my family different?
-Did I do something wrong?

Of course there are many more. Do they realize that many of these children will feel like something is missing? Maybe they know that it is in NO way their fault but there will always be unresolved feelings. There are things that mother's just cant do like a father can. Another example: I played softball for years. My mother and grandmother tried to practice with me, but gram wasn't so sporty and my mother worked all the time. Key time for a male to step in.

I remember growing up envious of my friends who had fathers. Not so much for the sake of having a father, but because of that bond girls are "supposed" to have with them. I always what I would do if I got married...who would dance with me for that special dance, who would give me away..all that stuff.

Do these "men" ever think of that kind of stuff? I say, if you can't take care of your responsibilities then you shouldn't have sex. Go get neutered, you don't deserve the child you helped produce and you damn sure don't need to make any more.

Now, I am not bitter towards men. I know for all the deadbeats out there there are plenty of men who do care for their children and provide for them. I think people that have had that and had that male role model then good for you. I'm glad you got to experience that. I'm glad my children are going to have that, especially because I didn't.

I will say one thing though, I don't think its because of the deadbeats, or that they get credit for it..but these children that have to go through this are going to grow up being some of the strongest kids around. I say this because they are going have one strong role model, their mom's. I know I wouldn't be half the person I am today if it wasn't for my mother and grandmother. I wouldn't want the life I would have had if my mother and idiot were together. It would have sucked! These children get to watch their mother's, the good and the bad and I bet you anything that the majority of these children will grow up to be more responsible, level headed and mature than those the same age. Do I think this is a reason to not have a parent around, of course not! I am just saying that in many cases these children are going to be strong individuals because of the hardships, that's all.

I don't know, I know I blabbed a lot...and maybe a lot of it doesn't make sense, this whole topic just angers me. I just think about that child and what is going to happen. Its something that no matter how much comforting a mother gives, she cant resolve these feelings and questions. Hell, I know that it is in no way my fault but 27 years later and I still have unresolved feelings...but mostly I want to kick him in the balls for being a douche.

Now I know what the wicked witch of the west felt like..

2009-06-14T16:08:00.016-04:00

Seriously, can it get any more humid and hot out there? Ok, I know its not that hot or at least not as hot as its going to get but I am roasting over here! We already have the A/C in the living room but I swear its not enough. I really do hate the heat and I know that I could NEVER live some where south. I am definitely a Northern NY girl. Give me lake effect snow over a heat wave any day! You can always put more clothes on but, but unless you want stares and possibly a ticket for indecent exposure, you can only take off so much. I think that I am quite possibly going to melt if the weather keeps up like this.

Ok, enough with my ranting about the heat..on to the other stuff.....

So I have been meaning to put up a few blogs from different play date Gage has had, but this baby is kicking my butt. So..I'm going to make this one long blog and put them all on here. Along with some awesome new things Gage is doing.

A few days ago Gage had a play date with Jaina (Beth's daughter) at the park. I haven't seen Beth in years and Gage and Jaina were born on each other's due dates. I thought it would be fun to have Gage play with someone so close to his age. Of course for the first part of the day Gage played on one end of the playground and Jaina was on the other. They eventually came to the same area. I also used it as an opportunity to play around with the LensBaby again. Here are some pictures...

Heading up to the slide

Deep in serious conversation..or maybe just a staring contest

Isn't she a cutie? It took a little coercing to get her to look at me...

Jaina loved Gage's toys and decided it was necessary to carry them to each part of the park she went to. Boy was Nemo dirty after a day in the sand.

He loves it outside

Checking out the toys

Being brave and going up the big slide

I of course took tons of pictures, but I cant post them all...It started raining towards the end of the day. I would say it was a pretty good day though, Gage had fun with Jaina and it was nice to chat with Beth, it really had been a long time. Here are two more pictures from that day.

It got a little windy...

Oh man do I love that face

A few days later..or maybe it was the next day. I don't remember...anyway, I figured it would be a good idea to take Gage outside to play in the backyard. I saw Donna and Will were outside so it was a good opportunity for an impromptu play date. Plus, with Will's outdoor stuff and Gage's outdoor stuff there is plenty to do! Of course, I again brought the camera with me and though of doing a little photo shoot with the kids.

So, Gage LOVES Will's sandbox and it was the first place he ran to. He has his own, but I haven't cleaned out the old sand and filled it with new stuff yet. By the time he was done, he looked like a Smurf.

Will came over to join in the Smurf fun and to give Gage a little smooch.

Yes, I know this is blurry..I just love the shirt he had on.

Again with the sand..

While Gage was playing in any sand he could find, I took the change to get a few pictures of Will.

Check out those eyes.

"Whatchu talking 'bout"

I'm glad someone likes Gage's trampoline

Seriously..I'm not kidding..I LOVE this face

So Gage and Will had fun. It was adorable when I asked Will if he wanted to take a picture for Mommy and he responded with "And Daddy?". So of course, we took a picture for Mommy..and Daddy. It's nice to have someone live so close that Gage can play with. I mean like close, close. I can smell what Donna is cooking for dinner on some nights. lol. We do need to hang out more, especially because we live thisclose to one another.

So now to the most recent...I apologize this is quite long..with tons of pictures, but believe me..I didn't even post half of what I took.

Yesterday Gage had a play date with Kasey (Erika's little guy). We had tried to do this before, but the weather sucked so we rescheduled. With Gage's schedule and Erika's it was hard to find a time. Is it sad that my schedule never posed a problem? Maybe that's because, I don't have a schedule. My schedule is whatever Gage's schedule is. Anyway...

We planned to meet at the park by the town hall, I got there a little bit before Erika and I felt like an idiot. I pulled in and saw a whole bundle of kids running around. Big kids, kids I don't like playing on a playground with Gage. They are older, rougher and faster. Not his crowd..or mine really. So I put on my glasses trying to find Erika and Kasey, because I didn't realize at the time they were not there yet. I was hoping she would want to go somewhere else because it was so busy. Luckily, she agreed. We ended up at the park behind the fire dept. This park is about 1/2 a mile away from my house when you drive, but about 10ft. if you walk. I didn't realize this until I went looking around, but we couldn't have walked..I don't want to go through some one's yard.

So...

We meet up and both Gage and Kasey are wearing their M&M shirts. I couldn't get one of them together, but I did get one of them separately.

It had been awhile since I had seen Erika, sure we have chatted on Facebook, but face to face its been awhile. I had never seen Kasey before, besides pictures. Well, he is adorable. The whole time he called me " Hey Lady". I thought it was hilarious.

Gage and Kasey didn't really interact much. Gage was all about the slide and Erika, while Kasey was all about being away from Gage. I think they warmed up to each other in the end and were able to be less than a foot away from one another. Again..I took a lot of pictures but, I'm only going to post a few on here.

Kasey took right to me taking his picture, which was fine by me. Here are a few that I took...

This is unedited and blurry..but I love the "Cheeeeese" face.

He really is a cutie.

Gage really, I mean really loved the slide.

It was a fun play date and we'd love to do it again. Around the time that they had to get going, Tony, Gage's speech therapist came to the park. I had called him to have him meet us there for Gage's session. It's nice to have a change of pace and not be stuck in the house all day long.

So, this is where the awesome Gage news comes in to play. For awhile Gage I think plateaued with his services. He wasn't doing what he knew very often and not picking up on anything new. He also was having some meltdowns when he was in therapy. Well..now he seems to just be going through a learning spurt. He is picking up on this soooo quickly.

For example: In the time that Gage had his session at the park with Tony, not only did he learn to sign "candy", he also said it! It was something like "Caynedeee". So of course, I have been having him do it over and over..which he obliges me for a dum dum lollipop. Win-Win.

My filthy, dirt covered kid signing "candy"!

Gage and Tony again, in deep conversation

Being pushed by Tony on the swing

Gage also has another new word. Now if you know me pretty well, you know when it comes to Gage, I tend to sing him things. I don't tell him its time to eat, I tell him "We're gonna eat, eat, eat...chickey, chickey, chickeeeeeennnn" or something along those lines. I have done it since he was a baby..its just my weird thing I guess. So that being said, Gage was in the tub and I put his shovel and rake from his sand toys in there with him. So I started taking the shovel and "shoveling" water on him and taking the rake and raking his belly. As I did this I was singing "Shovel, shovel, shovel...rake, rake, rake". Weird I know, but after two or three times I said the shovel part and Gage comes out with "wake, wake, wake"! I was so excited and surprised! Of course, why would an almost 3 year old need "rake" in his vocabulary, I have no idea..but at least its a word!

Oh and yes, bathtime is not longer hell!

as you can see here...it's wasnt a power struggle!

So as of right now Gage with say:

No, Yeeeeah(yeah), Rake, Niiii(night), Baaawl(ball), hi, by-eeee(bye), Caynedee(candy), Paine(Plane), Hoo Hoo(woo hoo)..along with a few mixed things here and there

Gage can sign:
More, all done, down, eat, want, drink, candy, thank you, please, rocket, help, swing..again, some others on occasion

Gage can now:
Make about 5 animal sounds, identify some vehicles and animals, point to 6 body parts, point to things instead of using his whole hand

So, lots of progress and he seems eagar to learn right now. So we're going to keep bombarding hiim with all we can.

Sorry this was so long, but so much to tell!

Really...how can you not love him?

What's a long blog without a surpise ending??

2009-06-03T11:37:00.020-04:00

Can anyone tell me how to de-clutter my house, life, mind? I could sure use some help with that! I'm not in the largest house ever, it isn't tiny, but it sure isn't big either. I have so much, actually, Gage has so much stuff that I am running out of room! I know what you might think, STOP buying him so much! I don't though, well that's a lie...but I don't by him as much as I used to. I need to have a yard sale this summer but finding the time and energy to go through all the boxes is not fun. I have stuff that isn't even unpacked from when we moved in. I don't even want to mention the clothes that are practically pouring out of this house! Its horrible, I could have my own Plato's Closet here! Gage does have a lot of clothes too, most of those are in plastic totes, one here and I think 3 at my mother's house. I just cant seem to part with all of his adorable onesies, hats and outfits. He had quite the nice collection of clothes, he still does really. Toys are the devil though, lol. After his 2nd birthday and Christmas this place was bombarded by things. He got WAAAY too many presents, most of which are my fault. He liked something (Disney's Cars cars) and I got to hunting them down like it was my job!

I have sorted through some of his things that he doesn't bother with anymore and put them on the front porch. I wont be able to fit too much more on that porch though, its pretty full right now. I need to go through it and just get rid of it. If we haven't used it in a year..we wont be using it any time soon. I know its clutter and I guess I have a bit of an attachment for my "stuff". Doesn't everyone though?? I mean, its your stuff! Oh, I don't know..I suppose I should just toss it.

On another note...I finally got to play around with my new Lensbaby! It is a little different to get used to, but I think I am going to like it. As you can see..I am far from a master at using it. I took a few pics of Gage exploring his new swing set. Which by the way, he adores!

Checking out the new slide.

YAAAAAH!!!!

He is such a ham and knows right when to look at me.

I also took a few w/o the Lensbaby. I didn't really edit, edit too many of them..but I have a confession..I'm in love. Yep, I am in love with Totally Rad Actions and I'm not afraid to shout it from over the top of my laptop! THEY ARE AMAZING!!!

Lovin' his Deee

As you can see..they were looking over a very serious matter..

I tend to confuse him..

Again with the car down the slide

Trying out the trampoline and clapping for himself as I yelled out "YAY Gage"

How could you not love that face?
(I know its hard to see it, because he badly needs a haircut)

Hi Momma!

I'm really loving the black and white these days

Seriously though..how could you NOT love him. He's gorgeous!

So, now..I am going to post another picture that isn't so flattering for Gage. My son now has a new "thing" he does. I try every time I see him to redirect him, but I don't always get there in time...like shown below.

Um..EWW!

Maybe I should be happy that he is doing my job for me. That's one less toenail to clip..but I'd much rather clip them for him...darn boys!

I babysat for Mandy recently and it went pretty well. Hayden really listened to me and I think had fun with Gage.

Gage on the other hand..didn't have as much fun as Hayden, lol. Actually..it wasn't bad at all, he just got a little cranky later in the day. Doesn't Hayden look concerned for him though? Its cute I though. I was able to take a few surprise shots for Mandy. I figured she says how much she likes the pictures I take of Gage, that I would take a few of Hayden and see what I could do with them. They aren't anything fancy, just some quick shots on my stairs.

What a little monkey..seriously..I had my leg on him to keep him seated

Doesn't he look like he is up to something??

My favorite, he looks sweet in this one...

So, last but not least..the surprise...are you ready for it?? No, seriously..are you sure you are ready for it??

Ok..here it is...

Yep, you read it right....

I am going to have another little bowl of Oatmeal. I don't have specifics yet, because this test was taken a few days ago. Can you believe I kept my mouth shut this long? I'm almost proud.

I know there are a very few people that knew already..because I cant keep my mouth shut easily about this kind of stuff...but now its out there..and I am still trying to have it sink in. It better be a girl..otherwise it's going on Ebay. I kid, I kid...lol. I am just really rooting for a girl.

Then again..I am also rooting for more energy, less back pain and more sleep. Let's hope I get those too! I have a feeling, because of the way I am feeling already this is going to be a LONG 40 weeks. I had it so easy with Gage that I guess it's time to pay my dues. Actually, I had it easy up until delivery. Some of you know my horror birth story, he was well worth it, but still. I deserve an easy road after that!

I will keep you updated...

I've neglected this blog for too long...

2009-05-28T18:15:00.003-04:00

It's true, I have neglected writing for awhile..I have just had no inspiration to write anything or energy for that matter. I suppose I should do a little update on Gage. That is always easy to do.

Gage is doing well. He is obsessed with puzzles lately. Well, puzzles and his Brown Bear book. I have been working with him on animal sounds, he currently will say "arf arf, heh heh heh"(the barking and panting of a dog, lol), guack, guack(while making his hand into a duck's bill), "ppppppp"(which is is horse..think of the sound after the horse whinny's) and the last one is a cat..but I have no idea how to write that sound. He doesn't meow, he makes a slurp sound for the cat drinking milk. I was pretty impressed with how well he has been doing with them and made his own versions of the sounds the animal actually makes.

He is also doing quite well (well..some days not so well..) on using more than one sign at a time. Right now he can do 4..for example he can sign "Want more drink please" or "Want eat again please". Please is his strongest sign for sure. He uses it all the time! We are working on teaching him Rocket(because he brings one everywhere) and help. His therapy is going well, but we are going to switch to ABA therapy for something new. On certain areas Gage has plateaued and is regressing on some things. It seems he will regress lets say, with using the sign for "more", but only for a little while and then it comes back again. Some times I think it is just him being a stubborn 2 year old. I say this because we will ask him if he wants more, he says "Yeah!" and I tell him "Show me" and Gage will look at me and just say "No". So the fact that he is saying no, he doesn't want to sign makes me think its not always that he can't do it.

I got Gage a swing set today, its not the one I wanted which was about $900, this one was more affordable at $200. I still want the other one, but I couldn't justify spending that much money on a swing set me might outgrow. So we went with one that has a trampoline attached and has the longest slide on it. That is the only thing he really likes anyway, so the rest of it isn't that important. I'm hoping for a nice day so we can get it put together for him. Hopefully before Gage's girlfriend comes to visit. I also got him a water table, he has already gone nuts for it and there is no water in it! I will admit, I put a little in it and let him play..in the dining room. He of course got water all over so I dumped it. He was less than happy with me. So outside should be fun for Gage this summer. He will have the swing set, water table, sand box, his bounce house and I am going to get him a wagon for walks soon.

I started reading a book recently, "Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew" it has really made me think about how I do things with Gage. I am only about half way through it, thanks to lack to quiet time to read, lol, but I would recommend it to parents, relatives and pretty much anyone with constant contact with a child on the spectrum. Its really made me think about why Gage does this, how I should/shouldn't react, my lack of truly understanding how it is for him with things..plus a lot more. It makes me think, ok when Gage is knocking down the blinds because he is standing on his head..he isn't trying to knock them down..he is seeking pressure on his head/trying to fulfill that sensory need. I don't know, its just an interesting book.

Well I am going to take it as a hint that I should finish this..since I am zoning out, staring at the screen. Until next time...hehe

Are we getting older or is everyone else getting younger?

2009-05-11T10:53:00.001-04:00

Just an FYI...I started writing this about a week ago and never got to finishing it..so it has a little of this and a little of that in it.

Well I got a good dose of reality thrown in my face recently. My 10 year reunion is coming and its coming very soon. Of course, I'm not stupid. I know how old I am, I just didnt really realize it until I saw the title of the group on Facebook. "...Class of 2000....10 year reunion." At that moment it made me think, what have I done for the past 10 years? I mean, I've done a lot of things..but have I really done anything? Now my biggest accomplishment is of course, Gage. Like many mothers, my little man is the best thing I could have ever helped create...because, well, he's awesome. Its making me think, what the hell have I really done. I've been to a few colleges, worked a fair amount of jobs, finally moved out of the house, bought a car, wrecked a car....its almost depressing when you try to think of it. I feel like I should be a doctor, a published artist, a famous something..I know that the majority of my graduating class is most likely not a famous anything..so I would be in the majority with them, but still.

I suppose it it inevitable, we all get older. We all have to grow up sometime, even though I know many people that have yet to do so. I sometimes think about high school and I wouldnt go back but there are parts I do certainly miss. I miss cheerleading the most. It was nice to have a sense of "duty"(back then at least), we were there to get the crowd excited and have a fun time. I of course miss the constant company, I was always around people and friends. I dont have that now and its sad to think about that. I never go anywhere or do anything, yes, a lot of that is because of scheduling but its still depressing. I miss having sleepovers, going to the movies with friends, not having bills and feeling more carefree. I think maybe being home so much is just starting to wear me down. I need to get Gage's schedule set to where we can go and do things more often. I think mainly I need energy, I wish I could be one of those people that have energy to do things. I just dont, I dont have the energy or the drive to do some things. When its for Gage, I am all about it. When its for me, not so much. I said something recently in a comment to a blog that I think is very true. I use 99% of my energy on Gage every single day. I think that the 1% that is left over for me I just have no idea how to use it so it ends up being wasted. I wish I could be that mom that has it all together and organized. I would love to get up in the morning, shower, get Gage ready, do his therapies and then go do stuff. It just doesnt happen often and I know I can only blame myself but it sucks. My goal for this summer is to give myself a kick in the butt and get out more. Maybe join a play group or something. I know we are going to Sesame Place, not sure when..but it will happen. Plus we are bringing Gage to the Please Touch Museum..I've heard a little about it and it sounds wonderful.

A little update on Gage...

He is doing wonderfully with bath time now. He seems to really enjoy it. Brushing his teeth is another battle. He was doing so well with it and now he freaks out when I go near him with a tooth brush. I feel horrible but I dont want him to have bad teeth. Its a curse in my family, no matter how much we brush, our teeth are cursed. Gage's poor little teeth are already not the whitest on the top because of how hard it is to brush them.

Gage is also taken a liking to biting his lips. It is driving me NUTS! He just chews and chews until he has a sore on the inside of his mouth. Between that and constantly biting his fingernails I am constantly checking him. He chewed so much before that his nails and lip have bled.

The biggest thing is that Gage is FINALLY not only trying, but eating some new foods!!!!! Last Thursday we went to Disa's house to play/have lunch. She was having hot dogs and mac & cheese. So I figured if all else fails, Gage had the hot dogs to eat. So we got there and Gage made himself right at home....going straight in to the bedrooms for toys. Fricken kid, lol. Well, while Disa was making the other kid's dishes, I got Gage's together. I figured I would put a little of everything on the tray, hoping that if he saw the big kids eating it he would too. I was quite surprised, because I figured Gage would attack the hot dog and I would have to toss the rest. He actually ate the mac & cheese! I wont lie, I got a little teary eyed...There at the table was my big boy eating a new food with a fork, right along with the other kids. I know to some people that might not seem like a big thing, but it was for me and Gage. I would never want to change Gage, but it was nice to see what could be. He was there at a table with "typical" kids and was blending right in, eating right along with them. It made me think that preschool is the right move and that Gage will do fine. I was just afraid that he would be picked on or stick out and feel bad. I know the preschool he will be going to more than likely wont be like that. He will be in a class room with kids more on his level, but still...I just had visions of him sitting there, not eating and being pushed around. He is such a gentle, sweet kid that other kids tend to take over. He doesnt really care it seems, but I certainly do. He just lets them do what they want..of course these are NT kids, so that could be the issue too. Anyway...I decided to see if the mac & cheese was a one time thing, so the next day for lunch..it was hot dogs and mac & cheese for lunch. I bought easy mac because I figured it was easier (hence the name) and there was a smaller portion. I didnt need a box just for Gage. Well...he ate it again!!! He didnt even bother with the hot dog. I got it on video, of course. I will load that another time though..I cant seem to find where Gage hid the flip camera.

One other thing..

Happy Belated Mother's Day to all the mommies! Hope you day was good. Mine was pretty uneventful...although I did get some good stuff. I got a new light kit..yay!..and a lens baby! So if anyone is looking for a light kit, I have my old one for sale! I also started to play around with some pictures again. Its been far too long since I have done anything. So I took some older pics and some new ones and played around on Photoshop the other night. I didnt change anything so it will look good on the web, but you'll get the general idea of the pics. I am thinking when Gage goes to school I will finally start to advertise instead of just word of mouth. Now of course, if anyone wants anything done in the mean time... :)

Mr. Oshkosh and Rocket

He only liked the swings long enough for me to take this pic

Yum! Ice cream! Can you believe those eyelashes?

OLD pic..but I love his sweet face

Check out those eyes..

Another old one..

Came out dark on here..but he's pondering something..

My favorite..this came out a bit darker on here too..

So there you have it..I got bored and stayed up until 4 am doing pictures. I did A LOT more but they wernt all of Gage, so I decided not to post them here. I suppose it is time to finally stop this now though. I'm such a bad blogger...I dont post then when I do BAM! I post a long one. Well, I will keep more up to date..I swear....ish. :)

If I go on MTV can I get people to believe me too??

2009-05-04T21:01:00.004-04:00

Alright, this might be short but then again it might be long..so be prepared.

I am sick to death of hearing about people "curing" autism. Specifically a certain blonde playmate that used to pick her nose on MTV for a living. I know I have talked about this before, but it just really gets me heated. I am no way telling people how to raise their children or what is right or wrong. Each parent does what they feel best and I get that...but why put someone so innocent through the ringer for your own need for a "normal" child? I dont mean the parents that just change the kids diet or add vitamins. I mean the ones that spend a ridiculous amount of money on treatments that I wouldnt even wish on someone I dislike, let alone someone I love!

I really think that she is spreading the wrong message and too many misinformed people are on the bandwagon. They see that tiny thread of "hope" and cling to it for all its worth. When I would bet money that whatsherface's (I'm even sick of her name) son isnt really even "cured". Sure, maybe he improved...but that isnt cured people! Hell, Gage has made improvement but I'm smart enough to know he's not at the level of a typical 3 year old and he certainly isnt cured/healed/whatever. I really am thinking that this poor child is being used. Maybe at first it was a mother excited about progress and wanting to share, then I think it became about fame and money. Think about it, before her whole "I am Mrs. Autism"(no, she didnt say that..I'm just being mean) what did you really see her in? I'll give you a minute to think about it......

Cant come up with too much, can you? She started making a profit off of her child before he was even born. I wont lie, I enjoyed her book "Belly Laughs". I was young, pregnant and scared. Not to mention too lazy to read a book as big as "What to expect.." lol. So I bought it and it was funny and gave me a insight on some things I wouldnt have thought of. Of course, that being said..it was like reading the comics in Sunday's paper..you read them because they are funny, not to get the real news. Dont get me wrong, I dont think she is a bad person. I just think she is irresponsible to be doing what she is doing. She had given people a false belief of what Autism is. Unfortunately because of her "star" status many people believe her. Hell if Oprah had her on, it must be true...right? I would think true reporters would be smart enough to not have only her on there talking about Autism. I remember Oprah having Toni Braxton, Holly Robinson Peete and Jenny McCarthy on her show. Who got the most air time?? You guessed it! Jenny did, which just shows that people believe her crap. I am sick to death of not hearing any other way but the Jenny way. How can you listen to someone that is just not credible, at all. First she goes on and on about how she is an indigo mom and her son is a crystal child..blah blah blah. Now she's dropped that though and its all about being a "warrior mom". I recently read a blog by a very smart woman. No, I dont know her, but I can tell from her blog that she has a good head on her shoulders. :) This is something she said in her blog "A Warrior Mom is a mom who loves their child unconditionally. Who wants them to have all of the advantages of other children. Who beams when they walk in a room." I totally agree with her! Check out her blog here.

I just wish someone, ANYONE would do a show about how its like to really live with Autism. Not some photoshopped version of reality. It is irresponsible to give people a one sided, false hope version of the truth. Autism is not curable. period. I'm not always the brightest crayon in the box and I figured that one out pretty damn quickly. I also this its funny that whatsherface keeps changing her story. One time her son is "cured", then he "recovered"..she doesnt like any vaccines at all, then she thinks they are good but need to be spread out..make up your mind and stick with it already! Now, if he is cured/recovered/fixed/crystal..why do we never see him? Except in photographs, which I am sure took longer than she would like to admit. Why not show video of his progress and how much this wonder treatment can do? I am not saying her kid isnt cute, he is..but his mom is an idiot. Also, if she is removing yeast from his stomach..why is the thing she is using to remove yeast have yeast in it?? Did you know that this pill makes you throw up over and over again(I've heard for like 3 days)..and also give you the poops? Now that would make an adult sick and weak, imagine what it does to a child.

I am just tired of her and her Autism parade...or should I say charade? She is promoting junk. Do people really think Autism is the way she says? Probably..and its sad. Not once have I ever heard he mention how her son is/was. People that read her crap or watch her on tv that are not parents to Autistic children probably dont know what Autism really is. Autism is not celation, shots, vitamins, yeast or "recovery/cure". It is different for everyone. Every family has a different "What Autism is.." story. I know in this house Autism is a lovable, funny, hand flapping, oooh-ing, sensory seeking, texture hating, over stimulated, silly little guy named Gage. Is Gage's journey unique? It sure is..each child with Autism is unique, they may share certain similarities but each one is unique and so is each story. Dont reduce it to one person who is a fame hog, that promotes herself over and over again. Her story is not the only story out there. I wish people would realize that and stop giving her the attention she doesnt deserve.

There..I'm done my ranting. I just dont have the patience or energy tonight to talk about her anymore. Its irritating and upsetting..

Thanks to everyone that came to support the Autism Awareness Walk!

2009-04-26T09:08:00.000-04:00

Well I figure its about time I put something up about the walk since it was a week ago. It was amazing to see how many people showed up to support Autism. I was even more impressed how many of my own friends and family came to support Gage. It really made me feel good that so many friends/family cared enough to come to the walk(of course I know some had to work and whatnot). I dont think they know, so I will say it here...It truly meant SO MUCH that you came out to the walk I cant thank you enough for supporting Autism and Gage. I of course didnt get to talk too much to anyone because I was busy being the official photographer, lol. I took SOOO many pictures, which I will of course post on here. I still have a lot of pictures to edit, but I have a sample of some of them done. I'll just add ones of Gage because I dont want to post any of people I dont know, just to be on the safe side.

Some of the friends/family that came out to support the walk (thanks again soo much)

Bridget, Beth and (I'm sorry...I forgot your name but thanks for coming! Erin, maybe??)

So where to start...I was supposed to be at the walk around 9:30..but Gage had different plans for me. I ended up there just before 10, found Tony and started taking pictures. It wasnt long before my mother came and started being my little assistant. She took my spare camera and went off on her own. She has no photo experience at all and actually just learned how to use the camera about a week before the walk. I knew I could edit things though, so I wasnt too worried. Well, together we took 524 pictures! I am now in the process of editing the last ones, adding my watermark, sorting out the undesirables and burning them to DVD. I have been a little slow getting them done..but I get sick of staring at photoshop for so long some times..

My little helper, lol (she would kill me if she saw this)

Again, I was really impressed at the volume of people at the walk, not just there for Gage..just there in general. You dont realize how much it affects the community until you go to something like this. I knew Autism was pretty prevalent up here, but didnt realize how much until the walk. Its pretty mind blowing to see how many families it affects. Not to mention the variety. I know its a spectrum but you really could see that spectrum that day. There were kids FAR worse off than Gage. I knew of course and have seen glimpses of kids that are more severe, but it really hit home how lucky I am at the walk. Gage didnt have one meltdown, no fits, no cries..nothing. He was awesome! I was pretty impressed and thankful that he was so good.

Gage got to run around and play...a lot. Everyone was grabbing him at some point. My mother took him, Justin's dad..everytime I turned around I was like "Where's Gage?" lol. People that didnt know Justin was there too must have thought I lost my son. Gage played in the sensory tent..and got soaked. I didnt get to see it, but he basically dunked his whole arm in the water. Good thing we bought him a hoodie.

Look how much fun he was having..

He also, surprisingly put his hand in some paint and put his hand print on a sign. He HATES his hands wet so it was fun to watch him do something new w/o freaking out.

A little help from his Mee Mee didn't hurt either..

Mandy and Hayden came too and I got an adorable picture of them giving each other a kiss. Just check out that pucker...

Speaking of kissing..I got a picture of Gage and Justin that I love..

Isnt that sweet?

There was a slide with balls in it..right up Gage's ally. He loved it and didnt want to get out. He even started pushing a kid because he was apparently too slow for Gage.

So much for being my gentle giant..lol

He also loved the bounce house..again..a big deal for Gage. It was something new, with a lot of kids and I didnt go in with him. He did it and loved it though.

(see..my mother is learning how to use the camera)

Over all the whole day was pretty good. Gage had fun, I took A LOT of pictures and a whole lot more money was raised for a good cause. Here are some more pictures...

Waiting for a ball to be rolled to him

Look! I found Rocket!!!

Two of Gage's wonderful therapists..Maribeth and Krystal

and of course..who could forget Tony..the one with the toughest job..Gage's speech therapist(poor guy gets the most tears of all 3 of them)

Now I also want to give a quick update. Gage is doing some awesome things! He is getting sooo much better with getting a bath, last night...so screaming! WOOO! I had a clean baby with no tears! I was pretty happy with that. Also, Gage is really getting good with a spoon..of course you wouldnt know by the video below..but he is. He is also talking some more. He said plane the other day and ball is coming back slowly, but coming back. The biggest thing though is that he is finally trying new foods. Besides a pretzel that he tried the other day, Gage tried cheddarwurst. I had some that I fried up with onions and bbq sauce. Well he kept coming up and sticking his finger on it and tasting it. So I let him, because if he wants to try something new..by all means he can stick his little finger on my plate. He did that for a few minutes then actually took a bite. I was quite impressed. Then last night I had some left over Chinese that I made and he was interested in trying it. I didnt let him though, it was General Tso's chicken and I didnt want to burn his tongue. Hopefully this trend stays and he eats more than hot dogs, chicken, sausage, grilled cheese and peanut butter sandwiches.

He started off using a spoon..but decided his hand made a much better one...I guess he needed a shovel.

And finally.....My trip to the city, the sequel! (yes, its part 2)

2009-04-16T16:03:00.007-04:00

Well even though the last blog was horribly long I figure I should at least finish the story. So I stopped last time with day 1 in NYC and the whole car debacle. For my 3rd day in LI we were going to go to the city again and hit up Chinatown, Little Italy and see what we missed in Times Square. So let me start with Chinatown....

I have to say I was VERY excited to, as I was saying, "rip Chinatown a new one" lol. I knew that it was going to be interesting and I had a list of what I needed to buy. I was looking for a few purses(for me and my mother), Tiffany bracelets, Rolex watch(for Justin) and basically all things Coach. So we get to the city and circle around Canal St. about 10 times until we find a place to park. So we get out of the car and right off this woman asks us "Handbag?" so we go in the shop. There was some ok stuff..but a bit too expensive for my liking. Brittany agreed and we left. So we go down the road and decided we wanted to eat first and then shop. We headed to Little Italy to get some pasta. We found a place that had an all you can eat for $9.99, so of course that was right up our ally. The place was a little cramped, the drinks were child size and the waiters/bus boys were less than great..they took the bread/forks/plates before we were even done with them. The pasta was good tough, I had fettuccine alfredo and you could really taste the Parmesan. I have to say though, not to toot my own horn...mine own alfredo isnt much different. Theirs was just smoother, I haven't quite gotten the "how much is too much" for cheese, lol. Anyway..after we had our fill we leave to go do some shopping..but not until after Brittany got her canoli. Now, I have had a poorly made canoli once, but I was a bit skeptical to try another one. I figure though, if I was going to try one it should be in Little Italy. Um..can we say yum? It was very sweet so I am glad I got a little one, but it was quite good. The shell is awesome. Then we had some Italian Ice..Brittany got canoli(haha..shes obsessed) and I got lemon and melon mixed. The melon was like biting into a fresh piece of cantaloupe. So.we head out to do some shopping and I was most certainly ready to do some ripping(hehe). I never new how exciting shopping could be! No matter where we were we had people asking us "Hey miss, handbag?" or shouting out "Tiffany, Rolex?" and "Coach, Gucci, Gucci, Coach...Prada?". These guys/girls can run like crazy too! If you say yes to one of them (specifically for purses) they have you follow them. Now, you could be say at point A and need to get to the shop which is at point B..well you have to go through the entire alphabet before you go back to point B. Then when you get there you climb up 1000 stairs just to go behind a false door, down more stairs, into a basement, through 3 other doors into a 2ft by 3ft room loaded with purses. I felt like I was in Mission Impossible. Things were prices a bit higher than expected. I refuse to pay $60 for a fake anything..especially when I could just go to the Coach outlet with my $60 and get something real. I learned how to haggle. One person asked me what I wanted to pay..so I spoke honestly and said $20. Dan starts laughing at me, because apparently you cant do that. Well..if someone asks you what you want to pay, and I only want to pay $20..shouldnt I say that? I dont want to pay $30, 40 or 50..I want to pay $20! Actually..I want it for free..but I knew that wasnt going to happen, so I settled for $20. After that I think I got pretty good with the haggling. I got a bracelet for $10...and gave some of them my "mom" look, which worked on the younger ones. The mom look is of course the glare of disappointment that you give until someone breaks and they bend to your will, lol. I only use it for good, I swear! I used it mainly when they said "I give you best price" which of course, is not.

So here is the best part of being in Chinatown/Little Italy...more car drama!!! Dan lost his keys. They ended up being in the restaurant, but still...

After we spend waaaaaay too much money, we go to see the things we missed the day before. We wanted to go to Letterman, but didnt get there in time. I really wanted to meet Rupert at Hello Deli, but that didnt work out either. He was closed. I got pics though!

We also checked out Ripley's..We couldnt go in, because we spent all of our money in Chinatown..but the lobby was neat. I met my future husband there..

Now on the way back..or maybe to..I dont remember..we were behind this couple. Now I am by no means in the position to talk about people's weight/style of dress/physical appearance..I usually spend my days in pajamas. With that being said, we were behind this couple..and boy oh boy..The guy looked normal from what I can tell, but the girl..oh my the girl. She was by no means a huge girl, but she wasnt no model either. If I had to make an educated guess, she was no bigger than a size 18 but no smaller than a size 14. She was mostly shapes..(yes, Dane Cook reference...hehe). Now I am all for people having a great self image no matter what your size, I wish I had some self confidence some girls bigger than me have. I do believe though, some clothes are not made for some people. Specifically if its a tight, hot pink skirt that looks like it was made for a 13 year old. This chick was wearing such a "skirt"...I think it was more of a scarf size..but whatever. It was so short that I could see the part where your butt cheeks meet your thighs. It gets worse though...You know when people are like big, big?? Like not just big girls, like BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG girls? Like girls that go on Maury, big. Well..you know how when they walk you can see like a chunk of meat go from in front of their legs, to being their legs? Well...this girl was no where near that large, but her skirt was so short that she was getting that floating meat between her legs. You could see all of it. It was one of those things where you dont want to look, but you just cant look away. I know this sounds horribly mean, but I was smaller than that girl and I have enough common sense to never be caught in something like that. It didnt flatter her AT ALL. It would be a different thing if she was wearing something that 1-fit, 2- looked good and 3- didnt make her look like a slut. I didnt get a picture, that would have been wrong. Lets just say though..I wasnt the only one that was like what the hell. Brittany and Dan were too..and in fact this random guy walking the opposite way had to do a double take. Not a good double take either. After that, we left and went back to LI..I think we were all worn out.
We also saw this near where we parked..

Day 4(I think...)-Easter/Day in Long Island

So Brittany and I wanted to get tattoos, but that didnt work out. Who would have thought you couldnt get a tattoo on a Sunday...except when its Easter..duh us! Brittany and Dan decided to bring me out to Montauk to see the light house. We start making the trek there and stop to get a snack. I got to see the Hamptons and places that were not the Hamptons. Dan's car was making a funny noise, but he figured out that it was a piece of material hitting the tire..so no big deal, he tucked it up and all was good. At least thats what we though. We get about 1 mile (is that right Brittany?) from where we needed to go when we feel a weird bump and then all of a sudden the car was all out of whack. I thought the tire blew or the axle snapped. I was going for the axle because of the way it felt. Brittany was able to safely pull the car over and we all get out. Well..we were all wrong. The tire fell off of the rim..let me repeat that. The tire FELL OFF of the RIM! Lug nuts were missing and the tire was shoved into the car.

If you look that the pics above you can see that 1- the tire isnt on the rim at all and 2- the lug nut broke off cleanly, almost like someone took a saw to it. Brittany calls AAA and after awhile we get a tow truck to come out and get us. Luckily we were able to get a ride for all of us, because at first no one wanted to make me or Dan. I guess we smelled or something. I was all prepared to pretend I was pregnant..I could have acted that no problem. Dan's mom(oh poor Dan's mom) has to come get us...again. The tow truck guy was nice enough to bring us to the next town so Dan;s mom didnt have to go so far. It saved us an hour of waiting. Wow was this guy a character. Brittany sat near him the first time(damn you for making me sit there the next time) and all he did was talk. Talk about farms, dairy farms. He works on a farm, his wife was with his daughter having dinner while he was working. He worked from 6 pm the night before until 7 am the next day...blah, blah, blah...he went on, and on, and on. Very nice man though, but you couldnt get a word in edge wise. Also, I had to laugh..he was a smoker and what did I see in his ashtray? Yep, you guessed it..an inhaler. I just dont get it. Brittany and I decided that Dan's car must be Jewish..or some other religion because it doesnt like Christian holidays. Good Friday we got towed and Easter the tire falls off.

That night we decided to have a laid back night. Brittany and I went to a very sketchy 7-11 and went for Chinese food. China Buffet at home was much better! :) Then we went back to the house to watch a movie. We settled on P.S. I love you..which I LOVE and Brittany has never seen. I knew I was going to cry, I do every time. Brittany didnt cry! I didnt even see a tear and there I am next to get sobbing like a baby that had its bottle stolen. I know its no Notebook..but come on! Its so romantic and sad! It was a good night though..the next day we had to get up early, I was flying home.

Day 5- Going home..but to the mall first!

Brittany and I had already decided that before I left we were going to the mall so I could shop at the Disney store for Gage. I bought him some shirts in NYC..but what fun is that? We get to this mall, a pretty good sized one too, and head straight for Disney. Now when ever I get into a Disney Store its like I walk in and all I hear is "AHHHHHH". I could shop in there all day. I get a basket and go to town. I got soo much for Gage..but I will list all that at the end. From there we go to get this pizza that Brittany said was awesome. After finding an ATM because the pizza place is cash only(Who does that anymore??) we get our pizza and off to the airport we go. I of course get sauce all over my shirt. It wasnt bad pizza, but I couldnt eat it all.

We get to JFK, do our good byes and hugs and off I went. Again..HOLY CRAP is JFK huge! I had no idea where to go. I finally find my way, get all set and then get to wait. I get on the flight..which by the way I was feeling much better about, but still nervous. I get on the plane with my carry on, purse and HUGE Disney bag, the flight attendants asked what I had and I showed them the huge momo(Gage's way of saying Nemo) I got and they all ooh'ed and ahh'ed. I sit down and these two Canadian girls sit near me. They were ok, but a bit snobby...and I had when I'm near "those girls". Know the ones I mean? The giggly, prada wearing, nice but snooty girls. I took a lot of pics from the plane..here are a few.

So now let me tell you the best part. I get off the plane and told my mother to meet me at the baggage claim, but I knew she wouldnt. She was right at the end of the security thing with Gage waiting for me. I run up to him and it was just adorable. He got the HUGEST smile, starting bouncing up and down and lept in my arms. He gave me the biggest hug ever and then a bunch of kisses. Then, I pulled out the giant Momo and he went nuts. He started shaking he was so excited. He held it all the way out. I didnt get a pic(grr..I know!) but I have one of his with it that night.

Its about the size of him. He is still carrying it around and saying "Momo, ahh Momo". So I was glad he loved it. It was a good trip but I learned one thing...I am NOT a city person. I like the quiet more than the noise. I like having neighbors and a place where kids can run. It was fun, but its Brittany's turn to come up here!

So..now the fun part..heres what I bought this time around:
2 Coach purses
1 Rolex watch for Justin
3 Tiffany bracelets
1 Coach belt
1 pair of Coach sunglasses

1 Giant Momo
1 Little Einstein's drum w/ musical instruments inside
1 Little Einstein's shirt
1 Momo bath toy
1 Car's bath toy
1 Bruce(shark from Nemo) bath toy
and various stuffed characters from Little Einsteins and maracas

Part 1 of my trip to LI/NYC..warning..its HUGE with alot of pictures!

2009-04-15T16:29:00.017-04:00

Oh where to start, where to start….first off let me explain that this is going to be a VERY long blog..I might just have to make it a series of blogs just so I can take my time to finish them..lol..

So if anyone had been reading my Facebook up to this past Thursday you would have seen that I was leaving on Thursday afternoon to fly to NYC. This was my first flight in a real plane and I was scared poopless. I have been in a plane before, but it was a 4 seater and although I was scared then, I had a mission for going up there. I had to take a picture of a building, so my mind was not stuck on my assignment..not the fact that I was in a metal death trap. Not to mention I was with 3 other people and I could see the pilot..so I knew he wasn’t drunk or anything. This time I didn’t have that luxury. I was fixated on the thought of crashing. So much so that I was up at night worrying. I even left Justin my passwords and usernames just in case. Now I realized I didn’t explain why I was going to NYC. It was a sort of spur of the moment vacation to visit my friend Brittany. Of course I didn’t plan it too well, because it was on Easter weekend when I left. I have TONS of pictures to post, but I am going to put a few on here…now those of you that are photo people…please excuse the poor photo editing. I honestly didn’t care to do them properly just for this blog, lol. Of course, when I do things with them, they will be done right..but for now I let the “auto” setting do its magic for me. Now, on to the trip….

DAY 1- “FLYING TO NYC/I’M GONNA POOP MYSELF”

I started the day getting up around 9. Justin let me sleep in because he didn’t have to work. His boss was going to NYC that same day. I was already all packed (by the way, space saver bags are AMAZING!), except for the things I was using that morning. Justin’s mother brought me over to Vermont to catch my flight. We were joined by Gage (of course), Alyson (Justin’s Niece) and Morgan (His other niece). It was a good ride over, we chatted and joked..and of course I picked on the girls. Justin’s mom gave me something to relax me when I get on the plane because I just cried when ever I thought of getting on the plane. I just was simply terrified. So we stop at a little store in Vermont. I think everyone stops at this certain store, because they have some darn good baked goods there. So Justin’s mom and Morgan go in first while Alyson and I wait with Gage. They come back and it’s our turn to go in. Well..while they were in the store Alyson confides something in me that I won’t say, because I don’t want to break that trust. Well, either way it was something I already knew, because her mom told me (Linda, you should know what I’m talking about..). So that was all fine and dandy, she told me and I was like ok. I asked her a few questions and we talked for a little bit. Then I told her she could always talk to me if she needed to. Then we go in the store. Well…while in there she asked me some stuff, nothing big, just stuff. Then it got interesting. Again, I won’t say what she said, because it’s personal and she trusted me and I am glad she felt like she could talk to me. Let’s just say what she asked me, floored me. It caught me completely off guard. I will say though, I was surprised how I answered it, I think I did a good job..maybe a little more mature than needed, but it worked. Now I am just trying to figure out if I should break that trust she had in me and tell her mother or not. Now, if it was something I thought was dangerous, harmful or anything like that I wouldn’t hesitate to tell Linda. Trust or no trust, I wouldn’t want her getting hurt, but it’s nothing like that. So, anyway..on to the trip. We get to the airport, Alyson and I talk some more while Justin’s mom, Morgan and Gage were parking the car. She helped me bring my bags out and we waited on the sidewalk. It really is amazing how much older and mature she is. I met her when she was 2 turning 3 so it’s just odd to see her now, she is totally a mini Linda. So we go inside the airport and I go up to the JetBlue desk and the first thing out of my mouth was “I have no idea what I am doing, I’ve never flown before and I am scared to death.” So the nice lady helped me figure out what I needed to do, but I felt like a dumbass of course. We get to the security checkpoint and I take a few pictures of Gage and the girls.

I know this is a crappy pic, but Gage's smile is adorable

Gage just wanted to run around the airport and get chased. He would start to run away and look behind his shoulder and start giving that little devilish grin he has. So I asked the security people what I needed to do and start to explain how I was so nervous I could poop myself (yes, I used those exact words) and they told me what to do and that JetBlue is a great way to fly..blah blah… I finally have to get where I need to leave and I start crying. Gage didn’t care, he wanted to run some more. So I get a forced kiss from him and a hug from the girls and I am off to wait to get on the big metal death trap (as I liked to call it). I went thought he whole ordeal of taking your shoes off, separating everything and going through the metal detectors. It made me think, how embarrassing would it be if you had a genital piercing and went through those. They you had to explain, no you aren’t a terrorist you just have your cooch pierced. Anyway, lol.. I sat in the holding area with the other passengers for what seemed like 13 hours. I’m sure it was only 1, but if felt like more. Good thing the anti anxiety pill started kicking in, because I was terrified. I did talk to a nice older lady and some guy about the flight. They told, as did everyone else that JetBlue was awesome. I told them I was going to poop myself. All in all a lovely conversation..lol. I boarded the plane, told someone else I was going to poop myself and then got to my seat. I chose a window seat because I figured if I was going to fly, I might as well see the sights. There was no one near me, but there was a guy in the other seat. He was very nice and yes, I told him too that I was going to poop myself and sorry if he heard my camera clicking constantly. I must have been a joy to be around. He was very nice pointing out things outside to me and whatnot. There was also an adorable baby girl that kept looking at me, so I kept making her laugh. I think the people that could see me, but not her though I had a problem. I took TONS of pictures.

Ladies and Gentleman your in flight entertainment will be Prince's Raspberry Beret...

Just leaving Vermont

The clouds were awesome

Can you believe how crowded it is?

I have no idea where this is, lol

This looked like Pacman

Dont know where this one is either

It actually was a decent flight. The views were amazing and the weather was good. No turbulence but the landing made me jump and make a noise that made everyone look at me, lol. We finally landed in JFK and we were about 20 minutes (I think) early. JFK is like its own little city, it’s unreal. I get off the plane and call Brittany to see where she is and tell her to meet me at the luggage thingie. I was a little disappointed that my brand new luggage was so dirty after the flight…I mean it was brand new and a lovely bright green. Now it’s all scurfy. So anyway…we head out to make the hike back to LI. I got to see some of the city while driving by it. We also saw a car that amused the crap out of me (no pun intended..You’ll see).

Dan

Brittany

JFK

Now…what I am about to write is not to offend anyone, by any means…just in case people are inclined to get offended…

I had a little cold/allergy problem when I flew in, so I knew that it was going to be a pain. I also knew that Brittany, Dan and his mom all smoked. Now, of course I don’t care that they do. It is their bodies and money. I just am not used to being around smoke at all; I usually avoid it because I am a little allergic to the smoke (that’s why I had such a sore throat and coughed so much). I didn’t want to tell them that, because I am a guest and wasn’t going to put anyone out or anything. I think it was just a big adjustment for me physically to get used to the smoke. The house didn’t smell like a smoking house by any means, which I was glad about….and you would have NEVER guessed there were 5 dogs there. The house was very nice and I wish my house was that clean, lol. The smoking did take a toll on me. I was stuffed up and had a headache for the first day and most of the second. I felt rude coughing, so I tried my hardest not to. I know I froze Brittany a few times with the window down. It was mostly so I didn’t get car sick, because that happens a lot to me, and because of the smoke. I didn’t want to have my allergies act up and ruin the trip. I will say though, boy does Dan’s mom like wolves! They were EVERYWHERE! Lol..she has quite the collection. I loved listening to her talk too. She had the thickest Long Island accent. Thicker than Brittany or Dan, and they most definitely have an accent. All I could think about when she talked was “Welcome to coffee talk”. It was adorable. She was adorable, so tiny. You could just put her in your pocket and walk around. Speaking of adorable…a dog in diapers. How funny does that sound? Well, they have one and it’s adorable. What was its name? Dopey, right? Well..Dopey is fricken adorable. Let’s see if I can remember their names, Dakota, Dakota (yes, they have 2 dogs w/ the same name), Dopey, Scruffy (that’s what I called him), Magic, Doc, Sneezy, and bashful. Is that right? I kid, I kid… J They were all sweet dogs and the huskies were beautiful dogs.

Once we got back to Long Island Brittany and Dan brought me to the beach. Of course we couldn’t swim or anything because it was chilly (or freezing if you are Brittany, lol) but we figured I could get some pics and see some stuff there. Well..there were deer in the parking lot! Call me stupid, but I didn’t think they had deer there. I got pretty close to the deer. The beach was all closed off because the water was so high, but I managed to sneak a few pics in and we even got to play an impromptu game of hopscotch!

The Beach

More beach

One of the many deer

Check that out, I caught it w/o any legs on the ground

This car made me laugh

DAY 2-“SEEING THE SIGHTS OF NYC/DON’T TRUST ANYONE WITH OUT A GUN”

On day 2 we had a list of places to go and it was pretty much mapped out.

We had planned to visit:

Autism Speaks, Times Square, Rockefeller Center (I think) and a few other random places.

Now, if you can’t guess..it didn’t quite work out the way we planned..but I’ll get to that in a minute. First things first..I can’t get too random on you now. On the way to the city I have to mention the car we saw. At first all you could hear was an boom, boom, boom..so I look back and it’s this guy that keeps taking off is steering wheel and honking it. The music was blaring and to top it all off..he had an Elmo on the hitch of his car. Yes, a small stuffed Elmo. All I could think was, wow I’d be proud to have had him as my kid, lol. I mean, blaring music (I’m sorry, if you do this, you’re an idiot), taking off the wheel, beeping the horn and oh yes..dancing. He looked like a buffoon. We saw a lot of buffoons. On the way there I saw the ship from Men in Black and the sky line was nice.

Skyline from the car

Men in Black Ship..from the world fair

So we get to the city and finding a place to park was interesting. Parking so SOOO expensive, $12 for a ½ an hour?!? That’s crazy! Well anyway, we found a place to park..again, more about that in a minute. We decided to go eat something at Hard Rock Café. I have never eaten at one, so I was excited. OH MY GOD! The sandwich I had was SOOOO good! It was a pulled barbecue pork thing. The sauce was almost as good as the barbecue sauce in Memphis, and that was amazing sauce. I was getting annoyed with the screaming waiters, but not enough to ruin the experience. It was neat to see all of the rock memorabilia. I got some fun pics. I didn’t know it was located in the old Paramount theatre, so that was neat. We also saw some interesting characters on the street.

Brittany picking Jerry Garcia's nose

No one likes the Skanky Yank-me's

Me and Brittany(note to self..NEVER wear that bra again! lol)

Part of the guitar wall

After that we looked around Times Square, it was awesome. Everything is just so big and bright. After some pics we decided we better head to Autism Speaks, because it was good Friday and they would most likely be leaving early. So I knew it was on Park Ave and either number 1 or 2. I was so excited to go there, because well, because I was J. I just wanted to see what they had, if they had a gift shop (on the site they have these puzzle pins that I wanted) and just because it’s a huge organization for Autism. Well..it seems that no one knew how to get to Park Ave. We asked some guy and he told us to take the subway to somewhere. Well, we did that and the lady in the station told us to take a different train. By the way, the subway had some adorable little figurines in it. Also, I was kind of excited when I saw a sign on the subway that said “Made by Bombardier, Plattsburgh, NY”. I thought that was cool, but I couldn’t get a pic some guy’s head was too big.

How cute are those figures??

Well, we ended up in Greenwich Village. So then we asked some guy in front of a hotel, he said he had no idea where it was. Neither did the Russian sounding people in the dry cleaners. Ok..It’s not like we were asking for Bob’s Fish mart on 34^th St. Its Park Ave people! Come on! So..after going into another subway station we found some police guy with a gun, we noticed people with guns knew their way around a lot better than those that didn’t have a gun. He pointed us in the right direction, now we had already wasted, what? Like 1 ½ hours or something? Either way, we wasted a lot of time. We found a Fed Ex guy and he helped us even more. We got to the building and finally went in. Now here is where I get disappointed. We go in and go to the desk. They take our ID’s and tell us we aren’t on the list so we can’t go up. A list? Huh? So I try to call up there, but everyone had gone home. Now, Autism Speaks is a HUGE non-profit organization. I am sure, many people with an Autistic child like myself, when visiting NYC would want to stop there. Why would we think of a fricken guest list? Seriously, a guest list? Grrr! Well, I left a message for one of the family service directors..no call back. I was quite disappointed in them, they should have had something. Even a table of info, something. So after all of that walking we had to walk back. Somewhere in there we got something to snack on, I bought a pretzel (yum!) and I think we got some hot nuts (haha). By the way, those nuts are amazing! I don’t care if it isn’t sanitary, they are awesome. They are honey roasted in a kettle on the street. I got regular nuts and cashews. I think the whole trip Brittany and I ate a lot of nuts (lol). They had these kabob things too that smelled good, but I wasn’t feeling brave enough. We decided to stop by the car to check on it, since we were so close. Now..let me give you the back story. We parked near a meter, but Brittany’s boyfriend Dan decided to skip paying and opt for a ticket. This is because last time he got a $20 ticket and that would be cheaper than paying $60 in parking. So, we did that…now…here is where it gets interesting. We knew we parked by that huge button and needle (or as Dan calls it, the damn thimble). Well..we couldn’t find the car, anywhere. After looking and panicking, we find out it had be towed. Yep, towed which Brittany and I agreed it better than stolen. We find out that we have to go to Pier 76, we are on I think E. 45^th St. Maybe something else, I don’t remember. So we start walking and walking..and yes, more walking. I snapped a few pics on the way. Come to find out we had to go near the Javits center, which I have been to before for a Photo convention. So it was neat to go there again. Outside of the Javits center they had a Kia Expo, there were a lot of the new Kia model outside and they all had pretty neat paint jobs. We finally get to the tow pound and there were A LOT of people there waiting for their cars. Dan finds out it is going to cost $185 just to get the car back. $185! Well needless to say we didn’t have that. So Dan gets his mother to come from LI to bring it to him. We were there waiting for 3 hours total for everything. Now during those 3 hours we all got a little bored so I started shooting some more stuff, but here is the funny story. While we were outside waiting for Dan’s mom this HUGE guy started to walk towards us. Now, it’s getting dark and all I can think is oh boy, here is where we die, lol. Well this guy (Malik was his name) asked us if anyone had a valid driver’s license. Apparently his was suspended so he couldn’t get his car and he had to be to DC that night. So I was like I’ll do it, he gave me $20 to drive his car out of the tow pound. You should have seen me drive it, he had to be 6’2”, 300lbs easy…so I get in his car and can’t even reach the pedals. I was just about sitting in the back seat. So I got to drive in the city and made $20. Fun times. I forgot to mention the lady inside, she was a real peach. We are sitting down waiting and this chick and her friend come in and she starts bitching. They ask what kind of car she has and she said, as loud as can be, “It’s a Volvo, a brand new, nice, beautiful Volvo” uhh…I just wanted to gag. They she proceeded to look at everyone and roll her eyes. Beeyotches!

we sat by this for quite some time

These were all over the city

Some of the painted cars

We finally leave, like I said..3 hours later, and decided to go to the M&M store and Hershey Store. Now on the way there we see a bum (as Brittany called him, to his face, lol). He had a sign that said “Hey man, can I have a beer.” It was priceless..so Brittany and Dan got their picture taken with him and Dan held a sign that said “Me too”. Now at this point Brittany had to use the bathroom, so we figured McDonalds..because they always have bathrooms. Well..I never knew a McDonalds would have a security guard. This McDonalds was 3 stories tall and in order to go upstairs to use the bathroom you have to be a customer and Brittany couldn’t go up until we had the purchase in hand. How crazy is that? Now the M&M store was pretty neat, there was so much stuff! The candy was too expensive. It was in the Hershey store too. I can go to Wal-Mart and get the same thing for $10 cheaper. I forgot to tell you about this guy that passed us in the street. We were walking and he was singing and dancing while walking. He started yelling “Hey Pinkie” but we ignored it..then he passed us and looked at this girl and was like “Yo cute hair, what’s up?”. Lol he danced around her and she looked confused. This vendor looked at him and looked at us and was like what the hell!?!

the "bum" lol

the "timble"

All in all it was fun, but we now know to not just park. Lol.

Things bought:

Lots of Nuts

Pretzels

Blue M&M shirt for Gage

2 M&M Key chains

Peanut M&M Antenna topper

“My first Hard rock Café shirt” for Gage

Hours wasted thanks to Traffic Cop:

About 2 ½ hours walking time

3 hours waiting time

8 miles walked (just while searching for Park Ave)

I never counted the miles while we were sightseeing. Now we didn’t leave the city until 1 am and got back to LI at like 3am and went to bed at 5am. I haven’t been so tired in a LONG time! I think this is the end of this blog. It’s already long enough and I am only at the beginning. Stay tuned for part 2- Chinatown and Little Italy!

The good with some bad...

2009-04-07T14:13:00.011-04:00

I'm not quite sure yet, it depends on how into it I get..but this might be a long one...

Before I start what I REALLY want to talk/bitch about, I'm going to do my update.

As I put in my last post, this past Friday we went to Albany for Gage's 6 month evaluation with his developmental pediatrician(or whatever her title is, lol). I have to say I was pretty nervous, last time Gage was NOT a happy camper. I think mostly because it was a long drive there, he didnt get to walk around before we went in, it was close to nap time and my mother was there. He is so obsessed with my mother that it normally does more harm than help. Anyway, this time we were prepared. We left early enough to have lunch and let Gage run around the mall a little bit to get some energy out. He also had a little nap. We got to the doctors about 20 minutes early, just enough time for Gage to explore. I was afraid that Gage wouldnt show anything that he has learned, because last time he just had a meltdown because we were making him do things he wasnt used to. Well..much to my surprise this time he did awesome! He signed all of the signs he knows, listened to directions, gave up toys when asked, made awesome eye contact with everyone, stacked blocks with the doctor and did some puzzles. I think the doctor was impressed too. She even said that she was amazed at the progress, but of course compared to last time he showed off. So basically we were told that he is making progress, he isnt flying off the charts but it is steady progress. I'll know more when I get the report. Either way, I'm happy with progress..as long as he isnt regressing, its good. All in all it was a good trip..but the Chinese food from the mall was not a fun time....at all.

I watched a special on Discovery the other night, it was called Uncovering Autism..then right after that we watching Autismx6. The first was about how they are trying to find the genetic marker for Autism and what they are doing to work towards that. It was pretty interesting, it showed older teenagers with Asperger's and how they are transitioning into adult life. It made me think of Gage and what will be in the future for him. I know adulthood is ALONG ways away, but really..its not that far. It just really made me think about what is going to happen and how scary it is not knowing what is going to happen. Will Gage live on his own? Will he get married? Will he talk? Will he go to college? There is no way of knowing and that is scary as all hell. The second show we watched was about a family that has 6 kids, all on the spectrum. Ranging from Classic Autism to PDD-NOS and all spots in between. I will say, and I know this is horrible...but Justin agreed. It made us feel better about our situation. Gage is by no means half as bad as some of these kids. He is quite high functioning compared to many kids on the spectrum. I hate to use someone else's family to make mine see not so bad, but its life..we all do it. It just made me realize it could be much, much harder than it is. Also, I liked the way they described PDD-NOS. They said that is basically like yes, you have Autistic characteristics but we dont what it is and that its not that bad. I liked that, the "not that bad" part.

So yesterday I decided to do something I dread. Getting Gage's hair cut. He was waaaay past due, he looked a little too shaggy. I figured well, we will make a day of it. He had a community visit with his speech therapist at McDonald's Playland. He was so funny! He went up into the play thing all by himself for the first time. Of course, inside I am freaking out. All I could think was "Oh, he is going to stumble, hit his face and knock a tooth out". Then I thought, "I'm going to have to climb in there, find him and clean up the blood..and then rush to the doctor's" I thought all of this in a matter of seconds, lol. Overprotective? Me?? NEVER! hehe..Now there were only a few other kids in there, so thats why I even let him. The funniest thing though was he would get to the top of the slide and just start blabbing. He was too afraid to go down by himself. I would yell his name and he would sort of chirp as a response. Then, two other boys came down the slide, one by one and finally like 2 minutes later...here comes Gage flying down the slide for the first time all by himself. Keep in mind that the whole way down you could hear his hands sliding down trying to grip the plastic..lol. He was so proud of himself when he came down, I wish I had my camera with me(I know, I know) but of course I didnt grab it, because I didnt plan on being there too long. Now I am kicking myself, but next time. We left Playland and headed to the mall to meet my mother. We got there way before she did so I decided to get the haircut over with. Now, this is never a pleasant experience for anyone involved. Let me explain...Gage hates anything near his ears or neck. He is VERY ticklish. So I rented those huge, ugly strollers from the mall. I figured, it has a wheel..so he can spin it while he is getting his hair cut. Wrong. That didnt work. I went to Regis, because I have tried so many places and havent been able to find a good fit. So, I went in there, gave my warning about how fun it is to cut his hair and then we waited for the woman to get us. She was VERY nice and patient with Gage. I specifically asked for someone that had experience with kids that are beyond difficult, lol. She did everything right and tried her best to help Gage. He just wasnt having it. We did get it cut though, which I am glad about. After we left Regis I went to that noise maker thing to help calm Gage down. He rode a ride or two, then off to Target. I was going to get him a little prize because I felt so bad, lol. I know, I know..but I also though if I gave him a reward he would look at it as a positive thing.

We then met up with my mother and off to the bunny we went. I did know how it would go. Gage is on and off with Santa but liked the Easter bunny the last time he saw him. This time, I was quite impressed. He LOVED the Easter bunny! He sat right on him and was mesmerized. He kept petting him, grabbing the bunny's hand and putting it to his face. He wanted the bunny to pet him, lol. He kept sticking his fingers in the bunny's mouth. He did awesome! We got 2 pictures, because I couldnt decide. After I took him off of the bunny's lap, he turned around and signed more to the bunny. He wanted to get back on him. After that we visited my gram and came home to settle down. I'll post the Easter bunny pics...but of course my scanner isnt hooked up so I did it ghetto style. I took a picture of a picture, so please excuse the quality :)

Isnt He Adorable??

How sweet is that?? He LOVED the bunny!

So..now that the good stuff is all done, now on to my rant. Ok, I was looking around Facebook at different groups and whatever. I came across a group for 2 local girls that died in a car accident recently. On it there was a video of this guy getting blasted on a tv show. This guy's name is Michael Crook. I have no idea who he is, but I figured I would look at it because the person that posted it said he was talking about the girls that died. So..I watched the video and out of curiosity went to his site. Now, I dont know why I go to these things, because they always tend to get me heated. So on his site, this guy is taking about how the girls were speeding and how they deserved to die. He went on and on with this nonsense. I could NOT believe what I was reading. This guy is insane! Who cares if speed was a factor, if they were not driving carefully or whatever. We wont ever know and its not for him to judge. The fact of the matter is that these girls died too young and it is horrible for someone who doesnt even know them to speak so badly of them. Was it probably something stupid that caused the accident? Possibly, I dont know. I dont care what the causes were, its sad and horrible that two young girls had to die. Thats enough. Now..again..no clue why I did it, but I did. I typed Autism in the search box of his site. I knew I was headed for something ugly, but oh did I not expect what I read. Let me give you an example of what he writes.

"As my longtime, gentle readers know, I consider people with autism to be annoying and amusing all at the same time. Why, in my past life as a retail manager, I used an autistic employee as a chew toy, teasing and prodding him for my amusement, to the joy of a few customers and fellow employees. Oh yes, autistic people are here for our entertainment.

But aside from that, they can be extremely annoying, what with the screaming, temper tantrums, and general bad behavior. They know what they’re doing, and the way to deal with them is to treat them like the bad people that they are, instead of the kid gloves treatment that the bleeding-heart liberals beg for.

So why are there so many ill-mannered autistic people around? Because of families such as the Bilsons of Seal Beach, California. They allow their 13-year-old daughter to act like a selfish, arrogant, spoiled brat, all because they don’t want her to scream.

Don’t they realize that by allowing this behavior, they’re validating it? This girl isn’t stupid, and she has full knowledge of what she’s doing. She knows full well that in order to get her way, all she has to do is scream.

This is the method that autistic people use to get special treatment. Sympathetic people give them carte blanche to annoy others with their loud behavior, under the guise of their autism.

The only way to deal with these people is to first of all use them as a chew toy for your own amusement. If they choose to scream, and cause a scene because they’re not getting their way, their autism is not an excuse. I don’t want to hear the “symptoms”: the whining about the pain they’re feeling, the sleep deprivation, the need for a precise schedule..if they can’t keep quiet in public, they need to be dealt with swiftly and harshly."

In another blog he also says :

"As amusing as people with autism are, though, it’s nobody’s obligation to cater to their every whim. If someone can’t take care of themselves, that’s their cross to bear"

How ignorant is that? People are entitled to their own opinions on everything, but come on! This proves that his guy has no concept of what Autism actually is. I'm not saying that people have to be supporters or understand anything. There are alot of disorders/syndromes/diseases that I cant begin to understand. I dont use them for my own amusement though. Autism is so diverse, that is why its a spectrum disorder. This guy is an ignorant jackass. He is the one with mental problems. I just cant believe how some people are...not all Autistics scream, kick, bite and throw tantrums. Just the fact that he thinks that these kids are showing this behavior because they want something shows how ignorant he truly is. Sure some are probably spoiled..that is going to happen with any kid, Autistic or not. I for one discipline my son, but only when he is doing something wrong. Not when he is stimming because he is over stimulated. That is not an act of bad behavior that is him trying to cope with his environment. I can see him as being one of those idiots that sees a mother with her crying child in the supermarket and being the person to ask the mom to shut her kid up. Do I want to hear a kid screaming its lungs out? No, of course not..I dont enjoy migraines. I do consider though, that the kid could be screaming for a few reasons.

1- It could be sick/in pain
2-It could have some sort of developmental issues and is freaking out about over stimulus around it
3-It could be a spoiled child that isnt getting its way
4-The parent could have just spanked it/disciplined it some how
5-Its over tired and needs a nap..or is hungry and hasnt eaten

There are MANY reasons why a child could have a meltdown. Who am I to judge the reason and say something to the parent? Its not my place and it isnt anyone else's either.

Mr. Crook, its not all about you. Different people have different levels of need. If you can not understand that or dont have the patience then move to another country. We dont need you here. There are many other people that would love to have the air that you are wasting by breathing yourself.

This is just my opinion, of course it doesnt mean much is the big scheme of things, but I couldnt believe the ignorance of some people. Also, why is some guy in New Jersey looking at a Facebook group for people that live up here?? Get a life and go back to your dirty, smelly state!

HAPPY AUTISM AWARENESS MONTH!

2009-04-01T21:13:00.007-04:00

Yep, thats right, you read it! April is Autism Awareness Month, so come on people! Be aware and care :) hehe..that rhymed.

So, there was my PSA. Now on to my nonsense. So, what is new?? Hmm..well, we'll get to that. I have decided to make this a weekly thing. Mostly for my own entertainment and because I am so bored. Also to give me something to do while Gage is in his sessions...besides laundry, because I truly hate laundry and will avoid it at all costs.

These past few days have been dragging. Gage has had his sessions as usual, he is doing pretty good. Last night I decided to see if he would eat with a utensil. This is something he has struggled with..he doesnt even like to take bits off of a spoon, unless its ice cream(hehe). So, my mother told me she got him to eat pudding off of a spoon and since Gage's therapist and I at his eval. talked about working on this more I figured why not try it. So last night I sat Gage in his highchair and got some butterscotch(yuck) pudding ready. It took me a few minutes to get some on his lips so he got the taste and would realize that he likes it. Once I finally did, he sat there and with some hand over hand help dug the pudding out of the cup and into his mouth. :) So today when Krystal came I told her about it and we decided to give it a go again. So at 9:30 this morning Gage had pudding for breakfast, lol. I will say, I was quite proud to see my little man sitting there and eating pudding all by himself with a spoon. He even scooped it all by himself too! I wish I could have caught it on tape, but I was too late. It was a big step for him so I was happy. If I have to feed him pudding everyday for breakfast so he will get the hang of it, I'll do it!

This Friday Justin and I go to Albany for Gage's evaluation with the developmental pediatrician. This is his second time seeing her, the first time was when he was diagnosed. I am anxious to see what she will say. Will Gage "preform" what he knows? or will he have a meltdown? I have no idea and what makes me wonder what will happen. I'm hoping for the best and that he shows what he can do and what he has learned. We are leaving early so that way Gage has time to rest, eat and run around before his appt. Its a long drive for him, so he will need the break. I know last time she said that she could tell he was very smart and he may possibly have Asperger's..but its too early to tell.

I do have to say, I am getting more and more excited about Long Island! Mostly to make fun of the accents(just kidding)..but seriously...Cawfee? What is that? Ourange? Huh?? Dawg? Really?? lol..I'll be walking around saying "You talk funny." No, all kidding aside, I am excited. Even if I dont speak the language. :) I kid, I kid..

I realized something looking back at past blogs/notes/whathaveyou..I type like I am talking to thousands of fans. I dont know why, I am sure I dont have thousands of fans..but I guess its just my thing, lol. I also realized I really like this blogging thing. Its nice to stop and think about your day/week/month and pretend like you are talking to people that want to hear it..even if there arent. Of course..my mind goes around and around..I swear I have a touch of add..that I can never remember everything. Even if I do remember, I sometimes dont get around to it, because I go off on one of my random tangents. Oh, here is another one of those coming...

I looked at my bank statement today and felt sick. I realized that I spent WAY, now I mean WAAAAAY too much money. Like..pay my rent or having spending money in NYC kind of thing. I have back up, but it was supposed to be saved, well..thats out the window! I have to "borrow" from some of that so I can do what I need to do. I also realized I am way too much of a compulsive shopper. Seriously..I go into Walmart for paper towels and come out with 5 magnet frames, fake flowers, chips, laundry basket, 5 $5 movies and some gummy candy(no lie, this has happened very recently). I cant just go and buy what I need...because I "NEED" what is on sale or a good bargain. I dont know why..but I digress. hehe..I've always wanted to say that, lol.

So..back to my vacation..see..random as all hell...I really cant wait to visit with Brit and Dan. Its going to be nice to have adult conversation and not just me singing cartoon theme songs to a smiling 2 year old. Although, as fulfilling as that is, it tends to tire you out. Plus, I think its going to be a really fun time. Brit is goofy and Dan seems laid back...and I love when people get my dirty/dumbass sense of humor!

Ooohh..another thing! I cant believe the amount of people coming to the walk! I mean family, friends..its awesome. I feel and I know this sounds selfish and isnt true..but that they are really showing support for Gage by doing this. I know its not all about him or for him, but to me..he is my Autism Awareness. Its great though..I wanted to say thanks to Karen for doing the raffle, that is just plain awesome of you Little Buddy :)

I am pretty sure I should stop now..I could go on and on...about nothing. Hey! Maybe its like Seinfeld, hehe. Its the blog about nothing..if only I could get rich from it! Yeah, like THAT will ever happen. Well...I know there were a few things I wanted to add on here..but I forgot them. I'll add them as I remember.

OOOH! Wait! I remembered! Today sucked! lol..how could I forget? Well..let me give you the Cliff's Notes of it...I have been sick, like siiiiiick sick. I am finally feeling better. Last night my phone/internet went out I decided to wait until the morning to deal with it. This morning still out. So I borrow the internet connection from next door(thanks Donna..hehe) and do a live chat with the internet people. So...after a long explanation and waiting FOREVER for the guy to respond guy #1"I cant help you, let me transfer the conversation for you to someone that can help"...ok...no problem...guy #2 comes on..hes apparently too lazy to read so I have to explain it all again...then guy #2" I cant help you..blah blah blah, you have to call this number". So, at this point I am less that my sunshiney self(no comments peanut gallery!) and I tell the guy that I have no phone, no cell phone..how can I call? He says, and I quote "Go to a pay phone"....A PAY PHONE! arrrrr! So....nicely, of course I tell him that I have a 2 year old here(and yes, I used the term special needs because I was pissed) and can not simply just run to a pay phone(plus I was still in my pj's), besides I wont pay $10 to call their company..and with the technology available how can they not have a live chat for this particular division? I used it with all the other divisons of their company. He says he apologized whatever..and says I should get a hold of a family member. I said to him sure, I'll give one a call. What a dumbass! lol Well..I finally found the tracphone I have, there is only like 28 minutes left on it. So I call this number and I had just enough time to tell the guy my reference number, that I have talked to 2 others, I have no phone and am on a tracphone with under 30 minutes. Just as I get the reference number out..my phone seems to go dead. I cant hear a thing! Oh was I mad. I had to hang up, but couldnt make a call and even if I could I couldnt hear anything...I finally think..well, lets try to text. I sent one to my mother and aunt(because my mother always leaves her phone in the car).

By this time Gage is fast asleep and I hear a loud knocking..now keep in mind I am still in my pj's..I answer the door and see this guy taht looks 12 years old. I was just in the right mood and was about to say "whatever you are selling I dont want any" when he says he was the internet guy. Now you can imagine my surprise..and embarasssment. I'm in a t-shirt and fleece Barbie printed pajamas while watching wifeswap and avoiding laundry. So, he comes in and I am pretty impressed at this point. All I could think is that the last guy must have read the report from the other 2 guys and took it upon himself to call for service(my hero!). I didnt even get his name!

So, the kid comes in the living room and what happens? lol..the tv starts playing again and the first thing that is said....get ready for it...all loud and clear all you could hear was "anal cavity"..yep, thats right..anal cavity. I looked at the guy and said..I'm sorry. He laughed and said it was ok. Yeah, this chick on tv was talking about her dog's anal cavities. lovely. So..long story short...everything is all fixed and he was very nice.

Ok, ok I know..that wasnt the Cliff's notes version..sue me! :)

Too tired to function..

2009-03-25T14:14:00.000-04:00

It's been a busy week, well its always busy it seems..but this one was particularly busy. Gage had is usual sessions, Speech Therapy, Special Instruction and OT. So my days are usually full from that alone because the first two come 4 times a week and OT is twice. They want to bump him up to 5 times a week for the first two. I dont know if we are going to do it or not yet..as it is there are no days off. I tried to get a day off but with scheduling conflicts it didnt happen. I know Gage needs the therapy and it is helping alot..but 5 times a week! The poor kid can never have a play date or just go anywhere. I feel so guilty that I never bring Gage anywhere. He needs socialization with other kids his age so badly. A typical day goes like this:

Wake up anywhere from 8:30-9:00 (unless its Friday, they he wakes up at 7:45)
Krystal(SI teacher) comes from 9:30-10:15
Breakfast(if he doesnt eat when Krystal is here)
Usually play/watch Little Einsteins for a little bit so he has some down time after therapy
Get changed/dressed..if I'm feeling froggy he gets a morning bath
Maribeth(OT) comes from 12-12:45
Tony(speech) comes depending on the day around 1-2
Lunch is fit in between therapy
Nap (this kid naps from like 1:30/2:00 until sometimes almost 5!)(if he doesnt get his "full" nap there is hell to pay)
After nap usually he wakes up, plays a little more
Dinner
A little more playtime
Bed

When I can, which isnt always I fit in times to go here and there..but not usually. Now writing this down it seems like I have more time than I think to do things..but it never follows how I put it down here. In between all of that I have to find time to clean, get myself ready, laundry(which always gets forgotten), plus whatever for the day.

It gets tiring..I can only imagine how Gage feels. I dont think we can do 5 times a week. I want Gage to gave a day to sleep in. I usually cant get him to sleep before 10:30pm..I know, thats late..and with such a long nap it would explain it. Without that nap though, Gage is miserable..and when baby isnt happy, NO one is happy. Plus..sometimes I sneak one with him :) I have woken him up early from his naps, but it takes him almost 45 minutes just to wake up if I wake him up early. So, it really defeats the purpose.

I feel like we both need one day to make appointments, play dates, sleep in, just whatever we want to do that day. The weekends are too hard because nothing is open(like business stuff/doctors) so that doesnt work..Plus sometimes he has sessions on Saturdays.

Oh the good side though, therapy is going really well for Gage. I think he is thriving. Just in the past month he is doing alot more. Just the other day he asked me "Why?". It was adorable. He is getting goofier by the day, which those of you that know Gage know he was already pretty goofy. He has been particularly attached to me this past week. It makes me wonder how he will be when I go to visit Brittany in Long Island in April. I'll be gone from the 9th-13th. It'll be odd to be away, but I think I need the vacation. I never go anywhere or do anything. I cant with Gage's schedule. Everyday his schedule is different..the example I gave is just an average Monday. Tuesday-Friday are all different. I cant wait to go to Chinatown! Purses here I come!!! :)

Gage has his 6 month evaluation on friday. This eval. is for Early Intervention..they see how he is doing and if his services get bumped up or taken away. I already know he is eligible to get bumped up..but I want to know what they think of his progress. In April we go down to Albany to get evaluated again by the pediatric psychologist(or whatever she is) to see how he is progressing. This is the doctor that first diagnosed him. Shes a little odd to say the least, she doesnt hold her tongue for anyone. Very to the point and blunt. Luckily I havent had a run in with her yet..she hasnt been rude...yet. I have heard stories though. I really am interested to see what she says about him. Of course I am sure she doesnt take into consideration that he is 2 1/2, she is a stranger and we drove over 2 hours to go see her. Because you know a 2 hour car ride wont make a kid cranky at all...note the sarcasm. I think no matter what though, Justin, me, Gage's therapist and family see the changes in him. We know he is progressing and thats what matters.

Oh! I almost forgot! So yesterday was busy, busy, busy! Gage had a doctors appointment after his special instruction session..so I busted butt to get us ready and there for 10:40. Gage is getting tested for certain food allergies. Hes getting tested for allergies to milk, wheat and he is getting a test for Celiac. I carry the gene for Celiac so he could inherit it from me(lucky Gage). Now I know alot of stomach problems seem to go hand in hand with Autism(or so I have been told) but I have enough issues with stomach problems that it could be genetic too. So I am seeing what is going on before I do anything. He is getting ALOT of gas problems and I hate to see him in pain anymore. Plus his skin is so dry, the doctor said its eczema but he also said milk allergy can cause that. Of course I wont be bringing him to get is blood drawn, that will be Justin's job. There is NO way I could do that. I could cry and because I used to draw blood myself, I would be really annoyed if things were not done just right with my little man. So its best for all involved that I wait in the car and then come swooping in for the hugs and kisses.

So thats all really for now. I am working on cleaning this house and getting it organized..its going to take forever. Mostly because I am working at turtle(I like Turtles!) speed but also because I am fitting in organizing and cleaning where I can during the day.

I dont have all my pictures set here yet..but here is one from St. Patricks Day..