My Medical Journey

2014-05-22T02:33:00.001-04:00

     It's been awhile since I've posted only because I couldn't remember my password again. For the past month it has been very difficult for me. I get up from the sitting position and my feet still hurt but I am bent over with my back I slowly start moving upright. I have had 3 migraines that have effected my eyes. I am not sure if any of this has anything to do with symptoms...I guess at this point I am thinking almost everything is 'cause I still refuse to look things up and read about it.
     I can't stand it when people say it's because of stress or nerves...hum hello, you are not me and if you knew me at all you would see that I have one of the least stressful lives there is. I have the normal amount of stress I guess you would say, I got great kids that help me (well one helps more than the other, but the other has been trying to help out more).
     Sometimes I wish that they would go ahead and diagnose me with it but other times I wish I didn't even know that the doctor had said it. I am not afraid of a diagnoses, I am not scared of going back to the doctor, but I am nervous about the medicine that I will have to be on. I am not sure when I will be going back to the doctors I am hoping that I will be able to prolong it for another 5 to 15 years only because of our 1 year old.
     The only thing is I don't have anyone I can ask and get answers back. I have liked two things of Facebook and I have commented on several things asking questions, and I know they have a lot of comments to read but half the comments that I have read have nothing to do with what they asked you or anything really. The only reply I got back was when I asked about a fundraiser for a certain Parkinson's thing and they were quick to say yeah look here. NOT COOL! Just sayin'.
     I feel bad when I keep things from my husband. I guess I don't want him to think less of me so I keep it in as long as I can even though I know he is here for me. I just recently told him that I have forgotten to but the car in park before letting my foot off the brake, in the driveway, 3 different times. There was something else that I had a problem with but can't remember it now. Anyway...
Thanks for reading, God Bless.

2014-04-16T21:45:00.000-04:00

So things are getting a little tougher now. I have still been keeping track of everything (only on Sunday mornings). My right upper thigh as tremors for the past couple of days. My fingers (index and middle) on my right hand feel as if they have arthritis at least what I imagine it feels like. My right forearm hurts whenever I go to move it (not all the time), and I get sharp pains in my head every once and awhile although this pain I think my be residual from an optical migraine I had yesterday. I am typing all of these things down in case I forget when I do decide to go back to the doctor. There is also weakness in my left hand. I find it extremely difficult to open jars and fruit snack packages. I know a lot of people have these problems and that it doesn't mean anything other than the lids are on too tight etc. I have trouble standing up after sitting, its not just the foot pain. I still workout though the moment I give in to this all the way is the moment I let it win and I am not about to! NOT YET anyway! I know when enough is enough and that is when I will go back to the doctors...because that is when I will actually need their help!

Forgetting Things....

2014-03-15T08:03:00.000-04:00

     I haven't written much in here lately I usually write stuff down when I am taking notes in Sunday School or Church, then I forget to write them here. What's been on my mind lately is that some days I have forgotten how to put on make-up, and usually something that takes me about 5 minutes might take me 20. I told this to my mom and my husband yesterday, my husband's response was to stop wearing make-up; and I don't wear make-up most of the time but I like to wear it to church or when he and I go out. Even if "going out" is just around the corner to the grocery store.
     I think (if I remember) I will go back and take a look at my notes and see what happened on what day and add it here. I really wish that the other specialist I was sent to had of actually took the time to read my file...I gave the specialist that I like a lot a print out of the blog and I think he might of added it to the paper work...The waiting and not having a diagnose bugs me sometimes...but when I don't have any symptoms or anything I can pretend that it's not there! If I can pretend that these symptoms are not there like I did for 9 months while I was pregnant then I think I can go on pretending most of the time. I think I like that! I am going to live in denial! Yeap! That's what I am going to do! Lol...whew, I am glad I figured that out!

     Thanks for reading!

Staying Active and Not Giving In

2014-02-27T09:49:00.000-05:00

     I find myself walking my children to the bus stop when not even half way there my legs feel like lead and don't want to move...I keep walking. I make myself go on walks even though my legs will start to hurt no long after we have left the house (luckily I have a stroller to push around now, that helps). I make myself workout...I stopped when my feet first started hurting. I am working out again and can't wait to see the results. Not just for me but for my husband too. I would rather stand than sit because everytime I get up from sitting my feet feel as if they broke in a million pieces.
     I would like to go back to the specialist but I don't want the same out come as before where he barely looked at my paper work (which he did in front of me), and he stepped out for a private phone call on his cell phone and only left me with his intern. When he came back into the room and sat down he basically said I was a lair (in a round about way). When I told my neurologist this he didn't look to pleased and I was scheduled an appointment but they never called or told me when it was rescheduled...so I haven't seen or heard from them since...I pray that the one specialist that I love is still on our insurance plan, but not sure.
      It's hard being a new mom again after all these years. I have forgotten a lot of things about babies. It's sad to say that I don't remember changing not one diaper of my 11 year son's when he was a baby...I remember bits and pieces of his babyhood, but not much. That hurts; a lot. Thankfully my husband remembers a lot and tells me things. I thank God everyday that he has blessed me with such a wonderful husband that helps me with my memory and other things. Every now and then he gets frustrated...but who wouldn't.
     What I can't stand is forgetting things and people say, "you're too young to forget things like that." or "It's cause you got a baby," or "it's your blond moment". I haven't told many people what's going on, but you never know what people are going through, or suffering with. I would tell them if it was an official diagnoses...as for right now; I don't have one because my symptoms at the time were not severe enough and he didn't want me to be on medication for the rest of my life yet. He did say that it is the early onset stages of Parkinson's. maybe that could change, it could be something totally different and I try not to read anything about it or about anything medical. If I have questions about something I Google it and see what pulls up, I don't even click on the links for more information.
Thank you for reading...

Somethings have Changed and yet somethings Have stayed the same

2014-02-26T21:51:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time since I have done this...Here are the things that has changed:
     1. God has blessed us with a baby boy. He will be a year in 2 months.
Things that haven't change:
     1. The symptoms, from the feet to the shoulder and then some...I did ignore them while I was pregnant.
     2. I haven't gone through anymore tests or gone to anymore doctors...I am going it alone for now until I think they will be able to help me!

how about this...

2012-06-06T21:40:00.001-04:00

I've been married now for almost 16 years and today was the first time since I was a newly wed that I have written my maiden name. it wouldn't have been so bad except for the fact that it was on an important document. I can't figure out why of all the times I did that, and I honestly didn't even notice that I had done it until it was pointed out and even then I didn't believe it until I saw it with my own eyes!

Sharp Needle Pains

2012-05-17T18:55:00.001-04:00

This morning I was watching an old Carry Grant Movie while folding clothes. My left hip felt like needles going into it. It was so bad I wasn't sure I was going to be able to go anywhere today. I'm not sure if this is a symptom or not, and this isn't my first experience with this kind of pain. I'm not sure if I listed every time or not, as I don't usually go back and read the blogs after I post them. Anyways, I thanks for reading, God Bless.

Feet and Wrist

2012-05-14T08:29:00.002-04:00

At the beginning of last week my right wrist felt so bad, it felt like it was broken for at least three days. I knew I hadn't done anything to my wrist so I continued to use it. When Friday came around it was feeling normal again. By Saturday and Sunday my right foot, then my left foot felt as if I had broken them too. Again, I knew I hadn't done anything to them. I am not sure if these are symptoms or not so I'm putting them here just in case I don't remember to ask the doc at my next appointment. Who knows anymore...lol. Thanks for reading, God bless.

On Friday

2012-05-07T23:30:00.000-04:00

On Friday, I forgot not just a name but briefly the whole person! What is happening to me? My mom was talking and she mentioned the name and the name and the person I just couldn't get, It didn't click. I wanted so much to ask her who was she talking about. You talk about this person like I should know who she is. It must of been at least three minutes before it actually clicked and by then she was already on a different subject when I blurted something out about the person. I didn't want to scare her, but it scared me. How could a person just be erased from memory even if it was just briefly. I spent three minutes inside my head thinking who the heck is ??????, Why is my mom talking about her like I know ?????, Do I even know anyone by that name? Should I know anyone with that name?
My daddy used to call me elephant when I was younger because I never forgot anything! I didn't have a photographic memory, but I could remember what I was told to do, or what I had said, or what others had said. I remembered lots of things, but now. I guess sometimes I feel as if I am loosing my grip, because I can't control this whatever it is. I just pray that one day I won't forget to pick up my kids, or forget my husband or any family member for that matter. I pray that I will always remember how to get home and where I am going!
Thanks for reading, God Bless!

Studering...

2012-05-02T22:57:00.002-04:00

I can't talk right all the time, sometimes I have trouble getting words out. It's frustrating, but I try not to pay attention to it as much as I use to. Tonight while up in my GA's class I had a sharp pain in my lower back, it went away and then came back. I've had other pain like this before never blogged it before, I guess I didn't think it was important. From now on I'm going to try to put everything in here even if I think it's insignificant, it might not be to doctors.

Dizzy...I guess

2012-04-30T20:38:00.000-04:00

Something really weird happened today while on our walk, picking blackberries. I heard squirrels fighting in a tree across the street. When I looked up, it looked as if the trees were about ready to fall on my kids, I panicked a little and then I realized that they weren't falling down around us. It was kind of like a under water feeling almost. Things weren't spinning, it was wavy almost. I don't know how else to explain it. It has never happened to me before. Just thought I would write this down just in case it is a symptom or something. Thanks for reading, God bless.

Things I Have Been Working On...

2012-04-28T01:20:00.000-04:00

     I am fighting like crazy not to let the muscle aches and the rigidness get the best of me. At the beginning of April I started slowly working out. I took it slow, and now I am up to doing full workouts. I do push myself, but I do know when to stop too.   If I just sit back and give in what am I teaching my kids? That is so not me!
     I get sharp needle feeling pains in my head, my eyes, my legs, and arms. These don't last too long, and sometimes I am able to play them off like nothing is wrong or I was just scratching my leg or head. Last week though my eye felt as if it actually had something crawling around in it, but there was nothing there every time I checked. There also has been some bathroom issues that I don't want to go into detail about.  I feel tired most of the time, I think I could sleep the day through a whole 24 hours.
     I know that I am not depressed or worried or stressed. I really don't have anything in my life that I stress, worry, or depressed about. I've given everything up to God and I know that his will, will be done so why worry about. He'll take care of me and if I have to go through anything I know that there is a lesson in there either for me or for my loved ones.
     There is still twitching, I wish that I could video every time my leg, foot or anything does it so I will have more to show the doctor at my next visit. So far I got a picture of my stuck muscles in my hand and a video of my foot twitching. Hopefully with this stuff they could be actually able to tell me something more. Anyway, I guess that's it for now. Thanks for reading and God Bless.

2012-03-27T11:14:00.000-04:00

I have came to the conclusion that I am not going to get my body aches, and the feeling of my legs are made out of lead get the better of me. For the last week the kids an I have been taking a walk around the neighborhood, just trying to work the stiffness feeling out of my legs. So, I decided to try taking a bike ride. I pushed myself all the way through, even though I wanted to turn around and go back home. I kept going! I might even work my way back to skating on Friday nights at our church. I am tired, I feel as if I can't move some days. The most thing I am tired of is not doing anything, I am going to make myself do things like walking around the block, walking upstairs, and going on bike rides. If I don't, I might as well be in a home already! Thanks for reading, God Bless!

My right foot

2012-03-22T21:54:00.000-04:00

Holy cow! My right foot was twitching from 1:20 pm all the way until about 9:30pm. Of course it did stop whenever I would move and do things but every time I stopped it wouldn't take long before it started all over again. It would twitch so bad that it would make my toes move. This week as been a lot of things either progressing or something.
I also had the start of an optical migraine today and I was smart enough not to prolong taking the medicine. I really didn't even have a headache; I just couldn't see so I knew it was a matter of time. I did take the medicine, I did get a headache. The headache didn't last for long, I have a wonderful husband that fixed dinner for us, not being able to see and all kind of plays a factor in that I guess, since I'm use to being able to see. Other than that I had a pretty good day! Thanks for reading, God Bless.

Weird feelings in my hands...

2012-03-20T22:31:00.000-04:00

This moring after the kids went to school I noticed my hands and arms felt like they needed oiling or something. My hands were a little shaky, whenever I tried to pick up anything. Later on in the day my left hand was stuck the muscles tightend and I couldn't move them. They didn't stay stuck for too long. I'm gonna start taking pictures of this when these things happen. I guess I will do the same for my regular stiff fingers too, the regualr ones don't feel like it is the muscles. So here is the pic of the hand. Thanks for reading, God Bless

Something else....

2012-03-16T21:42:00.001-04:00

Hello again,
Tonight I actually saw my foot twitch, usually I move and I miss seeing it. This was almost like the one this afternoon with the same feelings and movement. Really weird! The twitching felt strong.
Thanks for reading, God Bless.

This twitch was different

2012-03-16T17:13:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with everyone that finds this post.
     Today my daughter and I were at the kitchen table, she was teaching me how do make the plastic lanyard things. Then I felt this strange tingle kind of (I really can't describe it any further than that). I look over at my forearm. It was twitching from my forearm, wrist and hand. This was the first day that or the first time that a twitch has been that wide, and felt like that. My daughter thought it was gross, she said it looked really weird because of the length it was. Again, it disappeared as soon as I moved. I just wish it would do this in front of the doctors.
     My fingers on my left hand are also more rigid now. With my hand, it's been going on for a good while, but now it is more often; just about everyday. They get stuck and sometimes I do wonder if they will be able to move.
          Thanks for reading, God Bless.

I hate this...

2012-03-12T22:03:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone, well this happened a few weeks ago. I guess I was ashamed or embarrassed by this latest thing. I was talking about my son and I had said his name and it was like a few seconds later I couldn't remember his name or even what it started with. It was like the name didn't even exist in my vocabulary. I think that has worried me the most as far as recent stuff goes. I did cancel an appointment with the one that acted like I was making the whole thing up.
Last month I had a whole week where my body felt so rigid and sore that I couldn't move, barely. It hurt to walk to the bathroom and kitchen. I have decided that I am not going to give in to this feeling anymore. Today was the first day that my kids and I went for our walk, on the way back I felt some discomfort, but ignored it. I would love to be able to skate again and to ride my bike without my legs feeling as if I stuck them into fast hardening cement. I am gradually gonna work my way up to trying those things again. I do tend to push myself, because I can';t sand sitting still and doing nothing.
Thanks for reading, God Bless.

life...i guess

2012-01-24T12:04:00.000-05:00

Hello, I'm going to get everyone caught up. I am going to put what I can remember. A few weeks ago I was braiding my daughters hair, my hands got so stiff and sore it was hard for me to finish. Last week I was so sore it was hard for me to get moving I think I only got up to take the kids to school, and then to get them from school. I can say I think I almost slept the week away. I have become more tired it is hard for me to keep my eyes open. Sometimes I think I try to make myself not fall asleep while watching a movie or knowing that I need to get things done. There are things that I have stopped doing cause it seems like its immediate lead feeling, but I have decided that I'm not giving in to it anymore! If I want to skate I'm gonna skate, if I want to ride my bike, I'm gonna ride my bike! Things like that. I guess that is it for now. Thanks for reading, God Bless.

I DON'T WANT TO WAIT ANYMORE

2011-11-13T00:33:00.000-05:00

Hey. I just read some things from a sight and normally I don't go to them. Anyway, someone asked a question about Parkinson's having stages and that peaked my interest. Further reading of other posts made me very unhappy. Sometimes a diagnoses can take 2 years and the other one said it was almost four I think before the right diagnosed was given. I can't physically go threw anymore. I am worn out. My daughter told me today that I have gone to the doctor so much that she worries every time I go. We have gone through so much last year it's really not funny. Around Christmas time we thought that I might have cancer, trying to keep things together and trying not to let the little ones know, but they know without even a word they just know. Thank God, we found out that I didn't have it. But I am still no further knowing what is wrong than I was when I first started. There are two doctor's appointments in my future, and after those two...I'm done. At least until things get worse or something major happens (I guess that would be the symptoms getting worse...lol). Anyway, I guess I ranted enough for today. Goodnight everyone, Thanks for reading, God Bless.

may be i figured it out...

2011-11-10T18:02:00.003-05:00

Hello everyone, I hope this blog today finds everyone doing well. I think I figured out what's going on with me! I remembered that my mom had told me awhile ago that she had some minor strokes either at my age or a little older. I wonder....if that is what is going on with me. I guess it won't hurt to ask the neurologist the next time I'm in there. Thanks for reading, God bless.

? New Symptom ?

2011-11-04T22:35:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone. I know it's been awhile since the last post but life happens. I'm not sure if this is a symptom or not, but sometimes when I am walking there is this sharp pain that starts from my hip usually on the left hand side. It kind of feels like hot pins or something close to it. The messing up what I want to say or very slow at what I want to say is happening again, it wasn't bad for I don't remember, but I just started noticing that again. My heart, here recently feels as if it could just beat right out of my chest, which makes me short of breath when that happens. Most of the time these episodes only last a few minutes or seconds. I have been doing things that is not good for my arrhythmia such as, coffee, chocolate an things like that because of the caffeine so that could definitely be the cause of the heart thing. I'm trying to see if I can remember anything else that has happened or that is new, but nothing is coming to mind right now. I guess this is all for now. Thanks for reading.

New I guess

2011-10-19T23:47:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone. Well I guess this could be a new symptom. I am having a hard time swallowing, like I need to swallow, but my throat feels as if it closes before I can so I have to swallow a harder than I should. I don't know if this means anything or not, but it's here so I won't forget about it. I have an appointment in November and I hope that I can have all of this printed up for my doctor. I have trouble still remembering things, and I mess up what I am saying a lot, sometimes it's backwards and other times it's like I know what I want to say but it is just not connecting to my brain, or visa versa and that drives me crazy. I did walk in the Susan G. Komen Race for the cure it was 3 something miles and I wasn't sure how my legs will do. They did great and the kids and I finished in a little under an hour. We normally walk about that long around the block and at the beach it is always longer than that. I was fine I guess. Going up the stairs is a pain the first three are okay, but anything after that my legs feel as if they had lead or something strapped to them and it hurts to move them, that is why I don't skate on skate night at church anymore and I still keep trying to do the things that hurt because, I don't just want to sit on my ass and wait for someone to say oh we finally know what your diagnoses is. By then my muscles might have shrinked to nothing if I just sat around, especially if I see another one like I did in August making me feel like I was a lair and that it must be all in my freakin' head. I wanted to SCREAM: WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? IF YOU ACTUALLY READ MY FILE YOU WOULD KNOW THAT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE FRONTAL LOPES AND IT ISN'T SOMETHING THAT I AM LYING ABOUT! SO YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO MED SCHOOL OR RETIRE AND LET YOUR INTERN TAKE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I guess I just had to get that out again. I guess that's enough from me tonight...lol. God Bless.

Migrans and Forgetfulness

2011-10-10T12:47:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone, okay so this past Friday I had one of the worst migane ever. It came on so fast I hardly had time to blink. I went to lunch with a bunch of friends from the school where I volunteer. It took me a long time to order my food, I knew what I wanted I just couldn't remember what it was and I couldn't even say it. it kind of felt like someone or something was preventing parts of my brain to connect with the other parts. What felt like ten minutes of not being able to put simple words together to let the very understanding lady behind the counter know what I wanted was probably only five minutes. While eating and talking my vision started to leave and by the time lunch was over i could see only one face at a time and only if i were looking directly at the person, My friend had to take me home so my husband could go back and get the car. I had to take double the amount of medicine. It was scary, like I've said I had never encountered one that delayed my speech and thought process.
Monday, just a little bit ago, I forgot what a yellow ribbon was for. How could anyone forget that. Out of all of the ribbons I could've forgotten. It makes me truly sick that I forgot that the yellow ribbons are for our soldiers. I honestly don't know what I was thinking. I love our soldiers and want them all to come back safe and sound. I see the yellow ribbons all the time on my fb page too, i played it off how badly it bothered me, oh it's a Monday or I'm not awake yet i haven't had enough coffee, but when I asked i truly did not remember and to me that is something of a big deal. I even have one on my blog and it's been there since i started writing it so i know i knew i just had no clue this morning. they seriously need to find out what is wrong with me...i do;t know how much of days like this i can take. it makes me literally want to scream to the top of my lungs. i support our soldiers active and non active retired or just got out i support them 100%! My hubby is my hero!

I'm so Tired

2011-09-27T08:46:00.001-04:00

Hello everyone. I guess this might be a new symptom. About a month ago I have started to get very tired. normally wouldn't go to bed until way past mid-night, now I am lucky if I make it past 10pm. Then I will wake up at least 3 times for no reason. During the day I sleep. I wake up long enough to volunteer at my son's school and when I get home I am able to check a few things on my computer and then fall asleep right in the middle of it. I must have an eternal alarm clock 'cause I usually wake myself up at 2 so I can meet him at the bus stop. Anyways, I guess this too is stuff I need to remember to tell my regular neurologist and maybe he will send me to someone who actually takes the time with me. My arm is still driving me crazy from all the twitching it is doing. Thanks for reading, God Bless.