My Memories Of Bringing Up My Only Child

Jason - NSman

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Thu, 13 Aug 2015 03:00:00 +0000

Jason completed his 2 years of service as a Full-time National Serviceman (NSF) in Singapore Air Force on 12 August 2015.

He is now an Operational Ready National Serviceman ( NSman ).

Time flies ..... and another major chapter or milestone achieved.

Congratulations and thanks for your contribution in defending our small country.

Completed 1st Year in National Service (NS)

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Wed, 03 Sep 2014 08:35:00 +0000

Jason has just completed his one year of service in National Service (NS), time flies....!!!

He went from Recruit to Corporal and recently, promoted to Third Sergeant (3SG).

We are so proud of him and his exposure to some working life and responsibilities in supporting his active squadron of F-15 fighter jets.

During the past year, he was involved in an exercise held in Tengah airbase but missed an opportunity to go to Australia for a few months assignment or exercise. Maybe, another chance to go to Thailand instead as he is being nominated as a back-up for that exercise.

He is now looking into furthering his studies after his NS and searching for educational institutions to do his degree.

Jas Vocation for his NS

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Sat, 16 Nov 2013 07:52:00 +0000

Jas has been assigned to the Air Force and undergoing training for his Aviation Material Specialist (AMS) vocation.

He is allowed home every night and luckily, his Air Base in Paya Lebar is close to home but it still takes him an average of 45 minutes to reach his office every morning; walk to MRT station for his train and then connect up with a bus.

Uniform has changed from Army to Air Force.

Jas in his No. 3 Air Force uniform or Admin. attire.

Jason in National Service

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Sun, 20 Oct 2013 09:50:00 +0000

Every Singapore Son must serve their National Service (NS) for 2 years and go through 2 months of Basic Military Training (BMT).

Jas was enlisted on 10 August 2013 and like any parents, we were anxious for him but knowing that so many boys have gone though BMT and survived the tough 1st 2 months of BMT, we were more comforted by it.

I also watch the video, Every Singapore Son by MINDEF, so I was able to appreciate what Jas would be going through.
( http://www.mindef.gov.sg/everysingaporeanson/about/ess1.html )

Of course, the local movies like Boys to Men, helped too.
( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ah_Boys_to_Men )

We are supportive of it and it is best to spend time preparing for it than to loathe over it.

It is a good idea that MINDEF invited the family to send him off at Pulau Tekong when he was enlisted that day. So find the time to send your son off.

Luckily, Jas has his head shaved before to support the cancer campaign, Hair For Hope, so we are not so shocked to see him 'botak' .....

So we saw a transformation of Jas in his new recruit look, the bulky backpack is quite shocking and he was really well equipped by the military...eg toothpaste, floss, etc...

It is best to check with friends whose sons have been through the BMT and find out what additional stuff to bring into Tekong besides the list of items given; eg clothe peg, Febreeze...... etc...

He was kept in Tekong for 2 weeks but could make calls to us on his mobile every night.

After 2 months of BMT, we attended his Passing Out Parade at Sembawang Camp. Unfortunately, it rained and they have to march and stand in the rain.

We are so proud of Jas and his fellow recruits too.

Jas has been assigned to be an Aviation Material Specialist (AMS), ie store man and logistic staff. He is attending specialist training at Air Force Training Command (AFTC) at Paya Lebar camp now.

As parents, we will be concerned about how our sons can cope with BMT etc.... but just bear in mind that many Singaporean sons have gone through it.

So be supportive and help your son prepared for his BMT and we have to do our part too......that is washing his dirty laundry when he books out and get them cleaned and ironed for his book in.

Besides being trained to defend the country, I see some positive changes in him as they are taught to be disciplined and it is definitely a rite of passage from boys to men indeed.

Is There A Need For Tuition?

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Mon, 07 Oct 2013 11:09:00 +0000

There has been a lot of debate on whether there is a need for tuition lately so here are my thoughts and experience with Jason, our only child and going to be 21 next year...!

During his Primary school days, we insisted on him getting some tuition class on Mandarin since we do not speak the language at home but we felt that it was important since we are Chinese by race and with China opening up to the world.

I think Jas did not really enjoy the language so much and struggled with it.

I observe that kids tend not to have problem with Mandarin if it is spoken at home.

Tuition for Mandarin continued during his secondary school days.

Much to our surprise, Jas himself asked for tuition for his other subjects and we agreed to it.

Looking back, if not for the tuition classes, I doubt he would have time to study as he was so involved in his school CCA; eg. Peer Leadership, soccer and athletics so he is busy with his CCA almost every afternoons after school.

Even one of his tuition teacher has told us that he was too tired for his tuition class in the evenings.

I believe there is a need for tuition but it should not be enforced on the child if he or she is doing fairly well and did not ask for further help.

Jason failed in his History during his preliminary exam for his O level in Sec 4 and requested for tuition. We were very lucky to have gotten a very good History teacher who was recommended by his other tuition teacher. In fact, the history teacher was not really keen to tutor Jas but doing it more of a favour for her friend.

Jas got a distinction from fail in the final O level exam.

I conclude that there is a need for tuition depending on the students needs and I think we should not hold the school teachers entirely responsible for the students performance.

Some students really needs help outside the class for whatever reasons; eg slow learner or not all teachers are guaranteed to be good one too.

However, for those already doing above average in their exam., then parents should really consider carefully the necessity for further tuition classes.

There is no one size fit all; ie either have or no tuition for the child.... it should be based on a need basis.

Of course, if parents could help out with some of the subjects, it would be ideal; eg we helped Jas with some of his Maths problems, and even Accounting and IT related subjects when he was in Poly.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year in 2013

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Tue, 25 Dec 2012 16:27:00 +0000

Final Year Internship

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 16:21:00 +0000

We are so proud and happy that Jas was assigned to DBS HR-Training dept. for his final year internship.

We have to go shopping for his office working clothes and shoes.

He really looks smart and was commented as so even by our neighbourhood maid.

He has changed his sleeping habit a bit ( sleeping before 12 mid-night and waking up around 7:30am ) so as to be able to wake up early for work, with some help from us... of course.

Time really flies and soon, he will be graduating in May 2013...!

Letting Go More...

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Sat, 29 Sep 2012 01:15:00 +0000

Jason is 19 this year and in his final year diploma study in Singapore Poly.

Some of his friends, who went to Junior College, are now in National Service (NS) and it means that they are only available to meet up on weekends.

We said that weekends are family time together but have to give in to Jas so that he can catch up with his NS friends.

Jas has been going out more often and sometimes past mid-night too.

I have highlighted that I do not like to see him go clubbing and drinking at his current age but maybe latter when he start working full-time and then it is a matter of choice of lifestyle he wants.

I also do not like him to stay past mid-night, for safety sake, and I asked him to sms us when he is delayed or on his way home so that we do not need to worry for him or stay up for his return.

I hope the foundation that I have laid down for him over the past years will guide him to make the right decisions and make the right kind of friends.

Many a times, I was not happy with him and it was a dilemma as to how to correct him without getting into an argument; eg forgetting to sms us of his delay coming home esp past mid-night and he did not answer our sms, for some reasons...sigh

I tried not to confront him immediately especially when I am in a state of anger and address the issue the following day.

I also feel that I have to address the issue else I may be seen as condoning his behaviour and I am not doing my part of a responsible parent.

In short, Jas is definitely growing up and being more independent and making more friends outside. We, as parents, have no choice but to let go more and respect that he will have a life of his own eventually and have lesser time with us.

I really miss hugging him and holding his hands when we go out .... those were the days..!

Playing the Guitar

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Tue, 01 May 2012 08:47:00 +0000

5 years ago, Jas wanted to learn to play the guitar so I enrolled him into Yamaha School to learn classical guitar with a friend of his.

Months later, he wanted to play acoustic guitar with an amplifier so we bought him a simple set to start him off. To-date, he still likes this guitar very much and many of his friends have played on it and lik it too.

A year or two later, he wanted to learn the electric guitar. He learned to play it from friends and thro' the YouTube ( BTW, I think you can learned anything from the Internet... if you know how to search for it....!).

However, I was not not inclined to buy him an expensive electric guitar as I do not know how serious he was then. But I explained to him that he should start with a entry level electric guitar first and then when he knows it better ... then he can upgrade and buy a better one.

So my philosophy is to start it easy and not go for the best as your interest may not be there and importantly, you do not really know what to buy. Part of the fun is going for upgrades..... right?

Unlike a friend of ours, who bought an expensive electric guitar for his son against my advice, and he is hardly playing it now.

Jas started to get better from playing with friends and going to jam in the studios. We also upgraded his small amplifier to a bigger one for his birthday and a few friends even contributed to it too.

I also let him take some drum lessons too as it was recommended to him so as to get his tempo or rhythm better. So it went on for a few terms too.

His guitar has been upgraded ( change to a better pickup etc.... recommended by his friend ) and recently no sound came out of it. But the estimated epair cost was more than 50% of the guitar price so I felt that it was not worthwhile to repair this old guitar.

Since he is now confirmed that it is something that he likes and wants to pursue further, we decided to let him buy a better guitar and advance it as his Poly graduation present due next year.

Jas just made his debut in playing for a band during his Poly CCA Showcase 2012, here is a video of the 2nd song that the band played ans he played a bit of solo later in the song. We were invited to see his perform and we are really proud of his achievement in his guitar playing.

BTW, during my time, playing in a band is look upon badly.... long hair, tatooed, drugs, etc.....
But not today or this generation, even my friend's daughter is playing the electric guitar around the same time as Jas.

Dengue Fever

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:11:00 +0000

The new year started with Jason having quite a bad sore throat and he recovered from it after taking some antibiotics for 5 days.

After a few days, he came down with fever and it happened to be Friday the 13th morning ....a coincidence ?

He had a very high fever, hitting 39.2 C and hovering in the 38 C range. Even after sponging him with wet towels and asking him to take a shower, the fever refused to come down. So after dinner, we decided to return to the clinic but it was closed so we went to a 7x24 clinic instead. They could not find anything wrong and the medication given seems correct so we went home.

That night, his temperature continued to hover between 38 and 39 C and he shivered quite badly when I sponged him with a few wet towels, a few times. Eventually, I gave up as I was too tired from lack of sleep... around 4am.

On Sat morning, I called the clinic and after discussing with the GP his condition and also the fact that there was at least once case of dengue fever in our area, I took Jas to the hospital lab to test for dengue fever.

After 2 hours of waiting, the GP called me and that Jas indeed has dengue fever but his blood count was still within range but at the lower end, borderline... at 156!

The GP actually was quite sure that it is not dengue fever as typically, it does not come with a sore throat and cough but just high fever only.

But I was not comfortable with it and I know that Jas normally would have a day of fever only and not as high as 38C and above so I was more concerned than ever.

I am glad that the GP realised my anxiousness and offered me the option of doing 3 blood tests; one for dengue fever, another for the blood count and another to identify if the fever is caused by bacteria or virus ( antibiotics can treat bacteria fever but not a virus fever and you have to ride it out ).

Now, we know what we are dealing with and able to handle it better and not second guess on what could be happening.

My advice to you is that you must know your children well to be able to spot any unusual deviation and then pursue the matter accordingly.

After confirming my son's dengue fever, we shared the news with our neighbours so that they could take some precaution as it is so near to them ( eg spray Shelltox and put on mossie repellant ). One of them called me for more info as their son has been having a fever and other complications like mouth ulcers for almost 7 days but the Dr did not think it is dengue fever. I suggest that they take him for a blood test to either rule it out or confirm that it is indeed dengue fever. It was confirmed that the son had dengue fever after the blood test.

It was painful to see my son shivered when I sponged him but once we knew it was dengue fever, we were able to handle the situation better and not worry unnecessary.

BTW, one concern I had was whether he could have some form of brain damage for having such a high temperature of 39C and above. The Dr assured me that it is quite safe as he is much older unlike if he is a baby or much younger. So this info was a big relief to all of us and I can sleep in peace even when he was still running a fever.

Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year in 2012

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 09:39:00 +0000

Our family photo taken with Jack, our beagle, too this year in front of our small xmas tree.

I wish that the new year will be a healthier and safer year for all of us.

Besides my parents and mum-in-law being sick during the 2nd half of 2011, Jason twisted his right knee and had to undergo a full ACL Reconstruction surgery and still having physiotherapy sessions now as part of his recovery.

You can read more about it at this blog as I wanted to share the experience that I went through. It was a bit difficult to find some information from local sources.

http://twistedkneetornacl.blogspot.com/

I have not been updating my blogs as often as I would like to as I was so busy caring for my aged parents and Jason's knee recovery too.

Anyway, I wish you good health and some wealth too in this new year.

My Teenager Son

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 15:54:00 +0000

Hi,

Jason turned 18 recently and visited a Pub with his friends though he told me that he does not like to drink.

He also told me that some of his friends smoke and some of them drink too.

Initially, I was shocked but then I also realised that I also have friends that smoke or drink and some smoke and drink too so I suppose as long as he knows what he is doing with his friends and not get into trouble, so be it.

Lately, he has been going out a lot with his friends and also staying overnight at one of his friends home.

While he sort of asks me for permission... I find it difficult to say 'NO' but I am not happy with it though.

I suppose it is a phase where he spends more time with his friends and I miss him.....sigh

I told my wife that we will be seeing lesser and lesser of him though we say that weekends are for family time as he is having more activities or outings on Sat and we only have Sun to catch up with him.

But he sleeps in on Sun all the time so easily half a day gone and we only have dinner together.

I guess I have to get used to it.

I really miss the boy that used to let me hug and kiss him including holding his hand where we go out together.

David

Chinese New Year - Traditions

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 14:57:00 +0000

We wish our Chinese friends a very Happy & Prosperous

Chinese New Year !

Traditions are important and we, as parents, should teach them to our kids though it is getting more challenging as even ourselves have lost some of the practices in this modern society.

I told Jason that reunion dinner or lunch and the visiting of the elders in the family on the 1st day of Chinese New Year are mandatory.

So he is told not to make any appointments with his friends on such occassions; eg he would typically has some school activities on Saturdays but we were having our reunion lunch a week earlier at my mum-in-law home, so I gave him ample notice to be present and it is not negotiable.

I am glad that he appreciates the tradition and even learned to greet his grandparents in Cantonese.

I was disappointed that one of his cousins did not attend the reunion lunch and I was given to understand that he went out with his friends instead.

Well, I do not blame the tennage boy but hold his parents responsible instead. It is sad indeed as the boys can to see each other like once a year only!

Similarly, I have make it a habit to take a family photo on the first day of Chinese New Year at home before we go visiting. After all, we are all dressed in new clothing and looking at our very best so it is a perfect occassion to ahve a family photo taken indeed.

Sad to say, many of my adult relatives are camera shy and do not want their photo taken during reunion dinner and when we meet on the 1st day of Chinese New Year.

What a pity!

If the adults do not co-operate how do we expect their children to do so.

Fortunately, Jason managed to catch up with 2 of his cousins and they consented to have a photo taken together, as shown below.

Merry Christmas 2010

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Sun, 26 Dec 2010 16:59:00 +0000

Hi,

We wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in 2011.

As our last maid is a Catholic, we were caught into celebrating Christmas more for her all these years. But since she has left us after serving us for 12 years, the celebration has toned down a bit.

But I am glad that we still find the time to put up a smaller trees and take this occasion to buy ourselves some presents too...ha...ha...

Irrespective of religion ( we are Buddhists ), this is a good time for the family to spend time together.

We also still continue to take a family photo with our presents in front of our Christmas tree.

So if you are not participating in this Christmas festivity, you should consider doing so next year and surprise your family members. Importantly, an excuse to spend time together over a meal and exchange of presents.

Merry Christmas..!

Memories of Jason as a Baby

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 15:34:00 +0000

Hi,

I have been converting my old VHS tapes into digital format into my PC.

My wife and I really cherish those days when Jason was just a baby and still growing up.

Every day bring surprises and we always look forward to going home to see him.

We strongly advise you to video your growing children and take as many photos of them especially now that it is so much cheaper with digital cameras.

You can see a short video clip of Jason when he was just 1year+, playing in the living hall.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0eR_a50jdw

We also have a habit of taking family photos during our birthdays and Chinese New Year celebrations.

You can really see the changes in us from these yearly photos so do not be camera shy......

David

Proud of Jason

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 08:57:00 +0000

Hi,

Early this year, when we visited our family dentist, the dentist asked me if the teenage boy that she just treated is my son. ( I normally go into the dentist treatment room with Jas but thought that he is old enough to be on his own since it was a simple cleaning job. )

I confirmed that I am his father and she told me that Jas is a very pleasant and polite teenager. She commented that it is difficult to find such well mannered teenagers these days.

I felt proud, of course, but then thought that the dentist was just being too polite.

Some time later, I met Jas's teacher-in-charge in the Parent-Teacher session in his Poly. Again, she started by saying that Jas is a very nice student and shows respect to the teachers. She is very happy with him.

Of course, I am very proud of him indeed.....2nd time round with such good feedback about him!

Later, when I sent him off on his Poly Study Trip to Vietnam at the Changi Airport, his subject Lecturer also commented that Jas is a very pleasant boy in her class.

Wow! 3 times that I received such favourable feedback on Jason.....really made me proud of him.

Do not get me wrong..... I am not claiming that my wife & I are the best parents...!

BUT we must have done something right and giving Jas the right guidance all these years.

Well, so far, he is getting along fine in Poly which has a very different system from secondary school or Junior College.

David

Jason Going To Polytechnic

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 08:23:00 +0000

Hi,

Time flies ......

It was like yesterday that we were playing together in bed.....tumbling around....

Jason has enrolled into Singapore Polytechnic to do a Diploma in HRM with Psychology and will be starting school next month.

Not too long ago......

I was coaching him soccer in a nearby field.......

Jason in his Primary School uniform, going to school early in the morning.

Jason running and playing soccer for his secondary school, St. Patrick School.

Our typical teenage boy, spending most of his awake time in front of the PC and/or TV....

I miss the little boy that I could easily cuddle and kiss on the bed .....

BUT I am also proud of my teenage son today too......

Memories......sigh

David

Letting Go Of Jason

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 15:08:00 +0000

Our maid of 12 years went home for good after Jason's 'O' level exam, recently.

We decided not to have a replacement and try to cope with the household chores on our own other than ordering 'tingkat' food on weekdays.

Jason has been cleaning the table after dinner and he has also asked us on how to do some simple cooking; eg cup noodles, scrambled eggs.

We also have to start giving him some independence or let him be on his own instead of mothering him.

What do I mean?

Here are some examples to illustrate on what we have done.

We left him on his own in the house ( no more maid, remember? ) and he has to make his own lunch as he slept in and missed his breakfast, since we have a lunch appointment one day.

He wanted to organise a BBQ to celebrate the New Year with his friends so we booked a chalet but left the organisation of the BBQ to him. Glad that he managed to rope in a few friends to buy the stuff and brought it to the chalet. I gave some advice to him but he managed to carry it out with his friends...... so I was quite impressed.

Early this year, his friend organised a BBQ in ECP but no one could start the fire...... a disaster indeed and they brought back all the stuff.... poor boys!

But this time, he told me he has 2 friends who are boy scouts in school so no problem.

He asked for our permission to go out with his friends more often as he wanted to enjoy their time together before they go separate ways...ie JC or Poly.....

We are okay with it as long as we are aware of his activities and who he is going out with.... base on trust and that we have lay down a good foundation and principles for him to follow...

Jas is 16+ and soon will be a NS man and then 21.......

Letting him go is painful but essential as this is part of the cycle....

We were a bit worry about this chalet cum BBQ outing but we know that we just have to let go and that he has been well groomed to make the right decisions on his own.

Happy New Year and may your parenting year in 2010 be better or less painful.......!

David

December School Holidays

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 00:31:00 +0000

Yes, it is this time of the year where our children is having a big break from school....!

Since Jason just sat for his 'O' level exams., and he has studied so hard for it..... he wants to just relax and play.....

We talked about his working during the holidays but since he did not show that much interest, I decided not to push him into it.

So far, he has been on 3 short trips...
- Visited his grandparents in Penang, Malaysia
- Flew to Vietnam with his classmates, a reward that they won for being the Best Class for 2 consecutive years
- Took a coach to Ipoh, Malaysia to attend the last day dinner of a Leadership seminar through his school too

Other than that, he has been playing basketball, street soccer and watching movies with his friends....

He also continue doing some athletics training with his school and won the 4oom individual run yesterday at a friendly meet.

Well, I would say he is almost out every other day ...... so we are ok with it as long as he keeps us well informed of his activities and friends that he is hanging out with.

We have also booked a chalet and BBQ pit for him at Downtown East on the eve of New Year as he wanted to celebrate it with his friends...

We also bought him a Xbox 360 with 2 games, FIFA 10 and HALO 3, so that he can stay home more often and also invite a few friends over too. So this is his early Xmas present too!

Yes, no enrichment class, tuition, etc......... This is one holiday that he is as free as a bird...

He would have taken up drum lessons too but it only starts in Jan 2010.

Well, I think he deserves this break before he goes into JC or Poly depending on his results and his interest that he wants to pursue.

So parents, remember to take a break yourself too......

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year....

David

Mandarin & PSLE

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 14:58:00 +0000

There is some debate on how Mandarin has been taught in primary schools and the proposed changes to be made, to keep up with today's needs.

Parents have also written to the Press and commended the new proposal + sharing their problems their kids were facing that led them to uproot their family to overseas so that the kids can avoid learning Mandarin.

Similarly, for having to take PSLE exams too.

Jason has 2 primary school classmates that have taken that move; one went to Perth and the other to Geelong in Australia. Both are doing well and really enjoying the education system there.

Jason was also having difficulty with his Mandarin and was not motivated to learn it. Initially, he even said that he was not Chinese too....... so why learned Mandarin when he speaks English daily....?

So what did I do?

Well, before I share with you my experience, I want to state that those family who have chosen to emigrate or migrate, have their reasons and I am not saying that they are wrong.

Sometimes there is no perfect or right answer but it is a choice or decision that you choose.

As you know, I did my 'A' level and degree in Melbourne and I have a brother and a sister living there too. So it should not be too difficult for us to migrate there too.

But we feel that Singapore is a great place to have an education and a safe place too, It is tough, no doubt but my wife and I feel that it is better to try to overcome the problem instead of uprooting the family to another foreign place to start all over again.

Some of the things that we did to help Jason in his Mandarin were ....
- tuition, of course!
- we watch TV8 Chinese series
- we tried to converse in Mandarin as much as possible though not very successful at times
- etc....

It was a family effort and since my wife is bilingual, she also read with Jason in the evenings too.

You know, I actually improved my Mandarin too as I was a Malaysian so Mandarin was not compulsory and not my 2nd language.

Jason passed his Mandarin exam. for 'O' level in Jun 09 and we are so happy for him.

However, he still does not like learning the language and does not realise the importance of it, with China progressing and opening up these days.

Well, one step at a time......

Happy parenting......

David

Fathers Action Network (FAN)

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 11:17:00 +0000

This Fathers Action Network (FAN), a newly formed network is funded by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS).

FAN is to drive the "Dads for Life Movement" that aims to get fathers more involved with their children.

Mr Richard Seow, the chairman of FAN, says that FAN want to make people aware issues of fatherhood, and to get them to make a commitment to spend time with their family and kids.

Mr Seow further said that " Whether it's values, work ethic or sex education, you can't expect schools to take over. Don't outsource the fathering, don't let Game Boy or the Xbox take away the time the father should be spending with the child".

I totally agree with the statement above.

During our younger days, our fathers are busy working and our mothers are solely responsible for our upbringing but there are also fathers who still managed to spend sufficient time with their children.

Unfortunately, I was brought up by mainly by grandma and aunties in Penang as my parents lived all over Malaysia due to his job postings. As there were less external distractions and having a very strict grandma, my siblings and I turned out reasonably well.

But having said that, we do not have many memories of times we spent with our parents. Sad but this was due to the circumstances then.

Glad to say that my siblings & I are spending much more time with our own children.

However, it is still very true that the husband is seen as the one working his ass off to bring home the bacon.

And many fathers think that it is not their responsible to care for their children and it is mother's job.

Anyway, the world has changed and the children does need their fathers too.

Happy Parenting.....!

David

Born Innocent

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 23:22:00 +0000

Hi,

This was the main feature in this week, Mind Your Body; a supplement that comes with The Strait Times.

It mentioned that experiences, environment and society will shape a child's perception of what is right and wrong, according to a psychologist.

I totally agreed with the editor that we, parents, should be a busybody for our children's sake.

In case you missed it, here is a summary of some key messages....

Consistency is key to imparting values you want your child to have.

Here is a few pointers on how parents can influence their children's moral values:

- Show, do not just tell
Younger children understand the concepts of love and care best in the form of hugs, kisses and other forms of physical intimacy.

- Engage his empathy
We should use feeling laden statements to reinforce the child's ideas about what is right; eg. You were so kind when you shared your cookies with your classmates.

- Dig behind the bad behaviour
Children sometimes behave badly to test the limits, to express their anger or to seek attention.

- Do as I do, do as I say
Parents need to share their values with their children. How parents behave also modifies the child's perceptions of right and wrong.

- Teach accountability
Children should learn that their actions have consequences. Typical children will show remorse, feel guilt and learn from their mistakes.

I know most of us may feel that it is easy said than done but you must find the time and commitments to want to do it, in the first place.

Happy parenting........!

David

'O' Level Examination 2009

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 07:31:00 +0000

Hi,

Jas just started sitting for his 'O' level examination and it will only end on 13 Nov 09.

Based on some discussion with my friends, I was surprised to find that 'O' level exam. was considered the toughest of all exam; ie even 'A' level, Poly or University exam. are considered easier...!

Well, it does not really matters as I know that Jas was motivated and has put in considerably effort over the past few months.

Whatever the outcome, we will shop for the next level of education..... JC or Poly.

Importantly, he has put in his efforts and did not laze around or has bad attitude towards the preparation for his exam.

So we are proud of him and we believe his efforts will pay off in due time.

So parents out there, be supportive and not be so 'kiasu' about the whole episode of exam.

I was a bit annoyed when I read in the papers that the PSLE Maths paper was tough and some children + their parents were upset about it.

Come on, the children has to learn how to deal with such circumstances and move on to the next exam. paper.

Besides, if it is true, the authorities will moderate the results else there could be more than 50% failure rate....... and it would not be allowed.

Anyway, good luck to all the 'O' level students though it is more on your efforts than luck...!

David

Find Time For Your Kids

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 02:24:00 +0000

Hi,

I was walking past our nearby park with my wife the other day and noticed my son playing street soccer by himself.

Immediately, I told my wife that I would like to have a game with him as I used to teach him soccer when he was 6 or 7 years old. Though it was against my doctor's advice on not to play impact sports due to my back left knee.

I just could not help it as it brought back memories of our time spent on the soccer field.

I was not properly attired for it but I told myself that I will take it lightly and just be the goalkeeper.

But.....

We ended up playing a simple one-on-one street soccer instead. I broke my old slippers and played bare footed...... also, could feel the pressure exerted on my left knee and I was not even wearing a knee guard to protect it.......

Suicidal ....?

Well, I enjoyed myself and have a good workout though I did not go all out at all .......

Importantly, Jason and I enjoyed ourselves and I have not lost touch of my soccer skills.....ha...ha....

Jason was also kind and did not rough me up .... and he always went to pick up the soccer ball when I kicked it out of court even though it was on my side of it.

In short, do find time to play with your kids ....... good for bonding and some physical exercise too!

Here is a photo of me and Jack taken inside the street soccer court wen we had a break. Jack was having his walk and we let him in for a short while but he was not interested to play with us.....ha.....ha....

I have a bit of soreness on my left knee and lower back but it was worth it........

David

Give Your Children Support In Their School Exams.

noreply@blogger.com (David PCW) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 08:48:00 +0000

Hi,

It is that time of the year again but Jason is sitting for his 'O' level exams. in about a month's time.

It is well known that when the children are having exams., the parents also get stressed or even more stressed than their own kids......ha.....ha......

Yes, I have been through it but we must learned to let go eventually and just be there to support them...... by encouraging them and ensuring that they have enough rest too....

What do I mean?

Guide them to adopt a systematic approach to studying for their exams and not a last minute rush. Teach and help them to come out with a schedule for revision and eventually they should be able to do it themselves.

Encourage them to study wisely but also let them have some free time to rest their brains.....eg they should still exercise or watch TV, etc.....

Jason sometimes asked me to wake him up after 30 minutes of power nap but then when he could not wake up, I just let him sleep on as it seems like he needed the rest badly. He has overslept for more than an hour a few times.

I told him that I rather he be healthy and well rested than struggled to study if his body and mind are not up to it.

I was more hands on and gave more guidance when Jason was in primary school but I gave him more independence when he started his secondary schooling.

I was pleased when he handed me a revision schedule last night and asked me to help put it into the PC and print it out for him. Well, my efforts in teaching him to do a revision schedule has paid off.

Many a times, I re-assure him that no matter what results he gets, as long as he tries his best and gives his best shot, we are happy and supportive of his actions. We will then move on and look at the options available for his next stage of education; eg JC or Polytechnic.

I know it is tough to let go at times and the tendency to nag at them when you see them not studying enough from your perspectives.

Lay the foundation well when they are young and they should be able to manage it on their own.

Happy Parenting.....

David