My Mentor

Micro Managing Success...Sitzen Denken

2010-06-09T15:39:00.000-07:00

It seemed like a regular routine for him...he would work like if there was no tomorrow...then he would suddenly stop and walk away...as if he had all the time in the world...

For an outsider...it was a confusing behavior...in fact it appeared to make no sense...yet it was that behavior that made him amazingly effective...

It wasn't that he knew when to work and when to stop...it was more than that...

I had an inkling that I knew what it was...but I had to confirm it...

When taken at face value, his behavior would have seemed strange to me too...except that in my youth...my father told me of a mental/physical exercise...better stated...a German discipline called "sitzen denken."

It can be roughly translated to mean...sit thinking...but as translations go...the literal meaning does not begin to touch the full extent of the activity.

When my dad mentioned it...I was intrigued by this kind of discipline!

My enthusiasm was quelled when I wrongly figured that it was my father's way of getting me to sit still and be quiet...which is something he longed for!

I later found that it was briefly mentioned by Albert Einstein! My interest was renewed and I hungered for more information about it! As I searched for information, I found that very little was specifically written about it...it seemed that the discipline was an oral tradition...passed from father to son...or mentor to understudy...

Although the German's lay claim to it (because of Einstein)...I found that the discipline was centuries old. Although it was called by many different names, the critical elements of the exercise are mentioned by many of "the great minds" throughout most of history...and it also is stands in the legends and myths of prehistory.

To the "common man," it was often considered mystical or magic...even the prehistoric "shaman" taught the technique to their underlings...it was their secret to advanced wisdom...and success...it was taught by the sensei of martial arts to their highest degree belts...and used often by the greatest generals...leading their armies to victory!

It was a closely guarded secret...revealed only to those who earned the right...to know how to do it...

I was lucky...I had a father who attempted to teach me about it early in my life...I heard but did not listen...then a mentor convinced me of its value...and honed the skill in me by his personal modeling of the behavior and his guidance and refinement...

Some people confuse it with meditation...but the difference between sitzen denken and meditation is as great as is the distance is from east is to west...

Meditation is about mindlessness and relaxation...opening one's mind to serenity...and leading to clarity...

"Sitzen Denken" is extreme concentration on a single issue...it is concentrated and focused thought that totally encompasses your being until whatever one is thinking about has been resolved or exhausted...leading to clarity!

It is interesting that the result is the same with both extremes!

It requires one to have a personal ease with seclusion...but the definition of "seclusion" goes beyond simply physically getting away from people...it includes a mental isolation from all thought but the chosen thought...

It requires strict disciple to concentrate on one thing and one thing only...yet...thinking about nothing...and considering everything a possibility...

It requires looking at the issue from every perspective...every angle...and without definition, biases and prejudices...I have coined it as 4 dimensional thinking...from my perspective...one can not reap the benefits of "Sitzen Denken" until they fully comprehend the tesseract!

It also focuses on a single solution (destination) with multiple roads leading to it...

It looks for the shortest and least complicated (the most elegant) route to the end...

(I would bet that E=MC2 came from that!)

It thinks big and small at the same time...

It never takes on the entire problem on at once...but breaks it into manageable small pieces...and addresses them in a linear fashion until the entire journey has been achieved...so although it works small...it never loses sight of the big picture...

I thought back on our original conversation about this discipline...without letting on that I already had some knowledge of it...

"It seem like what you are doing is micro-managing..." I observed...

As is almost always the case...that comment opened the proverbial "can of worms!"

"Micro-management has gotten a bad name...because the technique has been used on people rather than where it is most effective...on solving problems..."

"I guess when I think about it...if a person has to be micro-managed...that person is a problem...yet most organizations do not recognize that the "people micro-manager" is also a problem...because they do not possess the skills to effectively address the real problem...thinking that they need to micro-manage competent people..."

"If a person really needs to be micro-managed...then they are in the wrong position...if a person has to micro-manage his people...then they too are also in the wrong position..."

"Yet addressing an issue or a problem or a new challenge or goal...requires micro-management...An effective leader does not let anything take control of success...they have grasped the power of micro-managing"

"But I do not micro-manage...I do something called sitzen denken..."

"And what you observe, my friend, is the essence of sitzen denken..."

"It knows when it has found the best path and it stays true to that path..."

"I can teach you this technique," he offered..."but only after you earn the right to possess it..."

"Success is achieved through decomposition and re-composition..."

"Know what you want..."

"and then figure out what it takes to get what you want..."

"You'll discover that this portion of the process unveils an insurmountable challenge..."

"Then you need to decompose the challenge into small manageable and achievable pieces..."

"Then systematically plan each piece..."

"Then execute on that plan..."

"Each time you are successful on your plan...you stop and repeat the process until you are fully successful!"

"If something comes up that stops you...STOP...and rethink the plan..."

"This is a powerful tool...when used properly..."

"For some...it is simply the way they work...after years of use...I do it continuously"

"But it requires a special person..."

"You have to be able to think and act and do both with focus and persistence..."

"It should not be given to anyone who lacks that ability or is looking for a free ride..."

"So where do we start?" I asked...

And with that he walked away and started thinking...

The When, and How of What YOU Say...

2010-05-26T11:30:00.000-07:00

We were sitting at his favorite oasis...

We usually had some deep subject to discuss and used this location for uninterrupted seclusion...

To everyone else there...we were faceless...

Our oasis provided a place where we could be alone in a crowd...and we liked it that way...

Today there was a difference in our discussion...it was different because there were no words exchanged...

We listened...not to eachother...but to every conversation going on around us...

I do not think this was the original intent of our meeting there...but it was what became of it...

I found that very interesting...most of the conversations were superficial in content...yet VERY deep when considered in context and inflection...

The words were simply containers of the real meanings which were conveyed through the way they were said...the tones and frequency of use...

Perhaps listening was not the right way to describe it...

After an hour or so of perfect quiet in the chaos...he observed, "Language and communication are interesting abilities..."

"We have a limited vocabulary...yet the number of things we communicate are infinite..."

"It was said long ago that the tongue (one's words) is a two-edged sword..."

"I believe that this is true in part...but more has to be added to it to make it more meaningful..."

"As I observe these dramas...there really few words being used...and so many messages being communicated..."

"As we sit here...there are six conversations going on that are within intelligible earshot...I have been listening to the words...and found that they are all using the same words...with a few variations depending on the actual subject...what I hear is what I call the common communication set..."

"Yet all six conversations are significantly different...in terms of their subjects"

"What differentiates them is the inflections and tones..."

"If you shift your attention over to that couple...The words are basic...but the lady's tone is condescending and accusatory..."

I have not heard her say anything nice during the entire conversation...because of her tone...yet if you transcribed it and read it...you would say...it isn't a bad conversation..."

"Watch...it will only be a matter of time and the guy in this conversation will walk away...in fact...he already has...figuratively speaking...he doesn't need to take that...and for whatever reason it may be...the lady is clueless to the fact that she is hurting him..."

"Now look over at that group of four...and listen to them..."

"Their words are nearly the same...in fact the conversations are similar...yet the tones are uplifting...compliments preceed any statement that has the slightest hint of hurt...and if any hurt is sensed...an apology quickly follows...

"Now shift your attention to that couple over there...they are barely talking...yet the messages are VERY clear!"

"This is the what I call the messages conveyed by white-space"

"What is important is the meaning...this is conveyed though many sources..."

"I used to say...if you get the message (the words) you can refuse it...if you get the meaning...you'll never lose it..."

"Whales can communicate with each other over great distances...not because they have great messages...but because they know how to listen and what to listen for!"

"We need to take a lesson from them..."

"I once heard it said that a negative comment is three times more destructive than a positive statement is uplifting"

"That means that a good leader (or a good person have you) should say three positive things for every negative comment that they make."

"I believe that a great leader finds and communicates ten positive things for every negative thing that they say...messages must be controlled and tongue bridled...or they will ultimately be destructive..."

"AND like the whales...messages can be conveyed across great distances to those who know how to listen...find an audience who knows how to listen...do not broadcast...talk and only when you have to talk...spend most of your time listening!"

"Why are we doing this?" I asked, "Is there a lesson that I need to learn?"

This conversation seemed to shake my very foundations...

"Have I fallen short of your expectations?"

"You are reading too much into our talk," he smiled, "You are being a good whale!"

"In actuality...we all need constant reminders of what is really important..."

"I learn as much by observing people doing things wrong as I do those who are doing right...it is all about the lessons learned and from where they come..."

"There are lessons to be learned everywhere...we miss most of the opportunities..."

"Sit back enjoy the show...and learn something..."

The Recipe for Success

2010-05-19T10:45:00.000-07:00

It always seems strange how our contact ebbs and wanes...

He seems to always be present with me...yet there are times that he intentionally leaves me alone to my own demise or success...

Whether I succeeded or failed and learned something...he was always there to celebrate...

Our celebrations always included the "war story" while it was fresh in our minds...

We traded perspectives...and documented them...sometimes literally and other times mentally...

"There is no difference between success and failure," he would always remind me.

"Every event in one's life is the sum total of the inputs..."

"There is no other possible outcome to be had...except for the one that resulted..."

"Remorse is an insane response to any event..."

"Why feel remorseful when it could not have been any different...given the set of circumstances (inputs)?"

"If you wanted a different outcome...you should have used a different recipe!"

"One can not put the ingredients in the oven for a pie and expect a cake to come out!"

Over time, that repeated reminder drove both remorse and elation from me.

Not that I became numb...I still felt sadness and happiness...but I recognized them for what they were in relation to the present...and they were no longer carried (as baggage) into the future and allowed to filter my inputs to the future/present...

"Remember that all future activities are inputs into the present..."

"All plans are inputs into the present..."

"All dreams are inputs into the present..."

"What happens in the future is the recipe for your next present..."

This perspective really messed with my head...

I always thought that the future was related to the present like the present is related to the past...

Quite linear and sequential...

The way he talked actually flipped my perspective 180 degrees...

"It is all about what you have learned and where you live and put your energy," he would confide

""It is about the flow of knowledge...what you remember (learned) and what you forgot..."

"Knowledge and wisdom, from the past and present, flow into the future. It filters and controls it..."

"The problem with most people is that they always leave one ingredient in their future that (more often than not) ruins the present..."

"You would think that they would learn..."

"Do you know what it is?"

"No I do not'" I responded...

"Actually...you do...just not consciously...I learned it from you..."

"It is so simple that you'll think that I have deceived myself of its significance...but this is not the case!"

"You do not allow the possibility of failure to exist, as one of your inputs..."

He could see the disappointment on my face. I was expecting some deep and hidden truth...

Instead...it was all about what I left out...the possibility of failure...

Mixed into the look of disappointment was also a question...that he quickly picked up upon...

"Failure is a dormant and lethal virus...a threat to every present event..."

"In fact the present...always seems to activate failure virus..."

"Allowing for the possibility for failure...injects it into the event...and it resides into the future event...ever so inconspicuously...in VERY small and undetectable quantities..."

"The failure virus is a robust entity...given the opportunity...and the right growing conditions...(Which seems to be any condition)...it will multiply and over-take the host...turning the event into exactly what it wants...rather than what it was intended to be..."

"When did I show you that?" I asked

"Time for a war story!"

"Do you remember when you were put in charge of that HUGE software system migration?"

"How could I forget that one?"

"You were a good project manager...but this was the first time in your career that you did a project that included the migration of an entire software system"

"What you did that taught me this important lesson...was that you broke the overall migration into smaller migrations...manageable pieces...and you scheduled windows for each migration...1 hour in length...around the clock..."

"Your goal for the overall effort was to successfully migrate each sub-application within that window..."

"It was the application manager's responsibility to ensure their part was thoroughly tested and ready for the time that their window opened..."

"I also remember that you were criticized for not having put in time within each window for problem resolution...you were called a fool...and your response was..."

"If I build in time for fixing...someone is going to use it..."

"I loved that..."

"You turned your pager off...because that thing was only used for escalations of problems..."

"If you really believed that problems were not going to occur...why tempt them in by having a path into your effort..."

"They called you naive and stupid...but you held to your plan..."

"You controlled the future by your actions within the present..."

"AND IT WORKED!"

"This taught me that controlling risk was more than having alternative path in the event that something went awry...you only allowed one path to success...and ignored all of the others possible routes..."

"Literally millions of lines of codes migrated in short order without a hitch!"

"It appeared that the odds were against you...but you created a legend!"

"That legend was not created by what you did...but with what you didn't allow!"

"I DID THAT?!!?"

"Many successful people got that way by not realizing that failure was so imminent! The consistently successful person is not naive or stupid...but wise to the threat of failure and does not allow it to be an option..."

"Whether you realize it or not...this has been one of your keys to success...that I actually borrowed from your behavior and made it part of mine!

"I learned early in my career that "failure" is always knocking at one's door! It is a pervasive entity...constantly looking for an opportunity to contribute to your present..."

"I did not like what it had to offer..."

"It is not that I ignored the threat of failure...but I learned a lesson from Don Quixote!"

"I didn't waste my time...chasing windmills..."

"Many efforts spend more time on averting issues and failure (some highly unlikely ones) than on the effort itself"

"I diverted as much of my energy on making something happen...rather than planning for what I would do WHEN it failed!"

"So you did that intentionally?"

"Yes!"

"You learned that from the story of Don Quixote?"

"Yes!"

"Well done!"

I seldom heard those words...and knew that it actually meant that I would probably be seeing less of him...

For now...

Talent and Genius

2010-05-05T05:52:00.000-07:00

Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.- Arthur Schopenhauer

I was thinking about how I could describe him in one sentence...

This was a challenge that he routinely gave me...

To describe myself in one succinct sentence...

"Describing yourself in one sentence is something you should be prepared to do on an ongoing basis..." he would admonish...

"The unexamined life is not worth living..."

"A clear understanding of yourself is critical..."

"...If you can not do it...you are traveling too generally..."

I had been reveling over being called "Renaissance man" in the latest annual corporate newsletter and in the annual report! For me it was quite an honor...

That is...until he burst into my office and immediately sat...holding a copy open to the same article...

"What have they done to you?" he declared...

"I have to do something about it...this calls for immediate action..."

"What the heck are you talking about?" I asked, "By the way...do you want my autograph?"

"My friend...this is an insult...You are good...in some aspects...unmatched...but this is an insult..."

"Settle down!" I interrupted, "Let's talk through this and not make a harsh move!"

He stopped mid sentence...took a breath and sat quietly for a few moments...I think he was awaiting a path of questioning...so I obliged him"

"When I read the article...I took it as a major compliment to be recognized as a multi-talented individual...I thought that they didn't see it...Look the quality and process training is recognized...and my work with their computers...and my engineering work with vacuum and lasers...my managerial and leadership skills...man the list is awesome...what is wrong with that?"

"There are too many sentences...a generalist is what I read...someone who can do whatever is needed...but..."

I seldom heard him use the word "but" and it was most often when he was no choosing his words wisely...

He leaned forward in his chair..."This is a matter of passion and capability..."

"You my friend have discovered the interconnectedness of all things...and have been able to connect what you know...with what you do not...this is a rare gift..."

"This organization has misread your ability and talent...you are singly talented and it appears as multiple talents..."

"You may appear as an expert in all of these things and many more...but it simply because you can grasp the essence of any new endeavor and relate it to what you already know..."

"That is passion and talent my friend...not expertise! You should not allow that to deceive you!"

"If you were an expert...it would be easy...talent is passion + action"

"You work for what you get...and that is not demeaning...it is a compliment...that is what they should be writing about...not a natural expertise...that is all about luck...you are a worker that does not give up...you are persistent and will do whatever is necessery to achieve your goals..."

"If I were to describe you in one sentence...you are a person of passion and capability"

"They could have saved a ton of money on ink...if they would have simply talked to me first..."

For one of the first times in my life...I felt both elated and deflated...

I had aspired to be recognized...but I realized that recognition needs to be in a singularity...not in complexity!

His one sentence personal definition took on a deeper meaning than I ever fathomed possible...and this lead to more questions...all related to the depth of everything that he tried to show me...

Perhaps I need to reflect on all of them...and seek an understanding that is less superficial and...

"You look like you just entered another dimension," he snickered...

"I think that I have!" I responded

"I just realized how much depth those things, that we have been talking about, possess...all of them have that in common..."

"And that my friend is what you are good at...connecting everything that I have taught you...by their common elements...you are no Renaissance man...you are more!"

"I love it when you compliment me...you can do that whenever you want!"

"NOPE! Only when you have earned it!"

"That is many times...the only payment that one receives for passion and capability"

"So what sentence would you describe me with?"

"I was just thinking about that...and I ran out of words!"

Passion and Capability - Chapter 9

2010-04-21T06:29:00.000-07:00

As I worked through the myriad of issues within this organization, I found that specific behaviors could easily be put into three separate categories...

Those that were beneficial...

Those that were detrimental...

Those that just didn't make sense!

Categorization was a matter of perspective and driven by the intended goals...

If one was altruistic...the "buckets" looked entirely different from the categorizations driven by self-serving motives.

This was one of those epiphanies of the utterly obvious...and a flag to me that I needed to shift my focus from the issues to those things that drove the behaviors...

This brought back a conversation that we had quite a while back on where a true leader stands in the organization...

"Leadership is not at the head...it is the heart," he told me...

"Many leaders (by nature of their title) misconstrue their place in an organization,"

"They think that they drive the organization from the top...when they should be among the organization..."

"What a leader hopes to achieve must permeate the organization...if a leader thinks that his or her influence can trickle down...they must also believe that when they play the game "telephone" their message is conveyed accurately and without change..."

"That is the crux of change management..."

"An effective change manager identifies two things who the real leaders are...and what needs to change..."

"Leaders who sit in their office...and drive an organization from the security of walnut and velvet...are simply figureheads...they can not effectively influence an organization..."

"This sets the stage for internal strife...and actually a very subtle mutiny..."

"The internal leaders take over...more often than not...they are self-serving...and deceptive..."

These low level leaders subvert the real mission of the organization to keep their position...or make their bonuses"

"The important thing is that it is easy to spot who is really in control...by first looking at the general personality of the organization...and then identifying (matching) the organization's personality with an individual..."

"To change an organization...you have to change that individual..."

"Change takes on many forms...from changing their personal motives...to changing that individual out of the organization..."

He was really good at organizational change...

He fully understood the role he played in the organizational drama...and that many lives hinged on his decisions...organizations trusted his opinions...and more often than not followed his direction...

He worked diligently to first change motives...

If that failed...he had no qualms about suggesting the termination of the relationship...

He was the king of fierce conversations...he up front...told those people that things needed to change...and not just the behaviors...but the foundation upon which they were built...he put everyone on notice...

Some stayed...others left...

He always tried his best...because he knew that few if any of the people that he was working with could get positions like they have if they had to search outside...

What bothered me was not the categorizations of beneficial or detrimental...those were easy to understand...

I had no understanding of those behaviors that just didn't make sense...

Perhaps this is why it didn't make sense...a vicious circle that I needed to understand and rectify...

"Not all information can be gleaned through observation"

"That is one of the basic leadership failures..."

"Sometimes you have to be a part of the data source, to understand the data itself..."

"You are a leader...and perhaps...you are falling prey to the leadership conundrum itself..."

He often spoke to me cryptically...I think he did so that I would think through his statement and really learn and make it part my being...rather than just intellectualizing...it often frustrated me...

"Just tell me what to do...instead of telling me what to think about..." I would say out of frustration...

"He would respond with, "I just told you what to do...and if thinking about it is what you need to do...then think about it!"

He always put me in my place...

I was often impatient...he knew what it took to grow a perfect redwood...and he was will to do what it took...including the time element..."

As I reflected on this conversation...I realized that I already had what I needed to to put this organization on the right track...he had planted the seeds...

If I were to see him for this reason alone...the conversation would just be a replay from the past...

He was that consistent...

He often said, "Didn't we talk about this before? I thought you grasped it...I am not changing my opinion..."

And he was right...

Over time...I learned not to rehash...old topics...but only bring up new challenges...

I thought before I spoke and spoke before I acted...

More often than not...I could apply what I already knew...

In a way...I realized that he was always beside me...

and his thoughts guided me...sometimes I took his advice...other times I went entirely against it...but it was there...and it made a positive difference...

It was at that moment that I learned to enjoy who he was...

I no longer had to bother him with my petty issues...

Now even the "senseless" started to make sense...

It was understanding and real empathy that made the difference...

It was about being "in" and not at...

It was about real engagement and connection...

Leadership is about true passion...that permeates the organization from the inside...not from the head...

They didn't need it...I did...

I called him...and we went fishing...

Passion and Capability - Chapter 8

2010-04-14T11:29:00.000-07:00

I hadn't seen him in days and was going into a friendship withdrawal...so I decided that I would stop in at his house and see him on my way home...

I rang his doorbell and heard him yell, "the door is open...come on in..."

I let myself in and found him in his study, working at his PC.

"What are you up to?" I inquired...

"Just updating my resume...there finished!" he declared

The state of the art (at that time), laser printer hummed and spit out a single page. He reached down took it from the printer and handed it to me.

"What do you think of it?" he asked

Before I looked, I wondered what font it was written in...his resume should cover 20 pages if printed in a readable font...

I looked down and I know that my face conveyed a message that he was not expecting...

The resume simply had his name at the top...

The next three lines...his contact information...

and then a bullet list of ten successful experiences...

at the bottom of the page...the following line...

I am looking to apply, what I have learned from those ten experiences, to your company and take your profitability to a higher level. Call me if you are interested, and if you are not interested, call me and I will further explain what you are missing.

For anyone but him...I would have to say that this sounded a bit arrogant...

"That is definitely a nontraditional resume," I commented...

"How many are you going to send out?" I asked

"Just one..."

I had to laugh...perhaps at his naivete...perhaps because I knew that was really all he had to do...

"Why did you look like you did? I was a bit worried that I made some major error."

"I am wondering what you were updating...this doesn't look like the resumes that I am used to..."

"I changed my phone so I put the new number on it. I also changed my ten experiences to match what I want to do next."

"But let's divert a bit...Traditional resumes are interesting vehicles. They are traditional...and from their use...the best a person can expect...is traditional results..."

"...it is simple supply and demand...if there is more people than jobs...then a resume works poorly...if there are more jobs than people...the resume works well. The bottom line is that you can tweak them...but traditional methods produce traditional results..."

"Non-traditional resumes work either better or worse than traditional ones...but that depends more on the person than the paper!"

He continued to explain what used to be on his list and how he had leveraged those experiences into his current challenges...

His explanation faded into the background of my consciousness and I mentally traveled back to a discussion that we had many years ago...

"There are two types of people within organizations...people who chase money and position and those who chase experience..."

"My advice to you is that for the next 20 to 30 years you chase the latter...experience..."

"Money and position for those who have not earned the right to it...is for short-sighted individuals who simply need immediate gratification..."

"Experience is an investment...in your future and critical components that help guarantee your success..."

"Some may argue that working in a higher level position gives a person experience...I have really never seen that happen...if a person happens to get a high level job and they are incapable...the experiential part of the job is usually delegated to subordinates..."

"In fact...many of the jobs that you should seek...should be working for people like that...you'll be given and gain more experience than you ever would...if you work for a competent leader!"

A lot of time has passed and my list of successful experiences has grown...since that conversation...

"Perhaps my resume should start looking like his..." I thought...

"You win some and you lose some...if you learn something from those losses...you win in either case...and both are investments in greater success in your next assignment..."

I liked the way he looked at things...and I was always impressed that he not only talked a good game...it was his game...

"There is a local company that has some problems..." I heard as his voice and it brought me back to the present...

"I have never worked in that industry...So I made this list of experiences that should give the reader the epiphany..."I NEED THIS GUY! I am going to send it off tomorrow"

"Have you ever done this before?" I asked

"What? Sought out new experiences...or used a resume like this?" he asked in clarification

"The resume?" I responded

"This is the only way I have sought out the jobs and the experiences I wanted...but that took time..."

"In 10 or so years...you'll be able to do the same...until then...go the traditional route...and use your interviews to direct the obvious conclusions..."

"I want decisions to be simple...complicated documents, lead to complicated decisions...and more often than not...the wrong ones..."

"This is true not only in job searches...but in everything you do...make the documents simple and straight-forward...and let the reader draw the conclusions..."

"...if they can't make the right decision...take the time to work with them..."

"So how is your half-man doing?" he shifted the conversation without taking a breath...

"He is doing great...Actually, I think he has changed more than his department..."

"His obsession for running really got to my nerves...I wrote him off...because it appeared that he didn't want to be engaged...then I realized that he wanted to be engaged...he just didn't know how..."

"I figured that he didn't start running half-marathons immediately and probably started running a mile or so...and then worked his way up to the 12 miles...so I used the same tactic on him as a manager..."

"I asked for his help in things that he easily could accomplish and built his confidence...then I stretch him little by little...using the techniques that a trainer and a coach would use on a runner..."

"That was when I realized that I was not a professional Process Improvement person...I was a professional manager...aspiring to be a leader...at this point in my career...I am a trainer and a coach...and my goal was to train and coach leaders...I can run their departments...and often have to do that as an interim...but while I am doing that...I am teaching the real leaders how to do that..."

"That is what a professional manager does...I just happen to use the Continuous Improvement Management Methodology as my preferred method of managing people, processes and technology..."

"If I am doing my job correctly...I set the stage for my departure...which I think is getting close..."

"Perhaps I will need to create a resume that sets me up for my next experience..."

"I do not think you'll have to do that...if you do...that organization is absolutely foolish...but if I were you...I would not count on them to recognize who was at the helm...they could get arrogant and make the wrong decisions...thinking that it was their doing...or thinking that they have learned enough..."

"It is sad that organizations tout that they are learning machines...and miss the fact that learning is an infinite journey..."

"Let's make a list of the challenge that you faced...the successes that you had and what you learned from your failures..."

"An interesting thing about my resume...it is my tactic..."

"For you...I think it is your strategy..."

"Perhaps you are ready to use my resume format...but not like I use it"

"What do you want to experience next?"

"...and let's add a few of the elements that you learned from other experiences..."

"What company do you want to work for next?"

We went entirely through a series of surgical questions that quickly developed a piece of paper that looked like his...but took me down an entirely different path...

"Now what are you talking about with a tactical and a strategic slant to it's use?" I asked...

"Tactically...I send out the short version and keep the traditional resume for the face to face interview..."

"Strategically...you'll do just the opposite. Send the traditional resume and save the short version for the face to face."

"That is an interesting angle." I observed...

"Until you have made a reputation for yourself...you'll need to use the traditional method...and use contacts to get where you want to go...but you need to know where you want to go...in order to get there!"

"The short version is the map to your destination"

"What a cool thought!" I said in growing excitement
"Perhaps we can mail our next jobs out together..."

"I think that I'll wait on mine...until I know what their decision is," I replied

"Loyalty...that I one of the things that sets you apart my friend...I like that!" he smiled...

"Have you ever considered teaching that as part of your organizational change package?"

"WOW! talk about shifting gears on me!"

"My opinion is that true loyalty is something that is earned and not taught...and it is a two-way street...with one party making the first move...that's a cliche however..."

"Now that I think about it...loyalty can be taught...my instruction would begin with the real meaning of that cliche...that is the mind set necessery to being loyal...it ends with a behavior set of absolute consistency of behaviors that had the best interests of theirs in mind..."

"Lacking either set...and the effort is fruitless..."

"While we are on the subject of mind sets...let's discuss your resume..."

"A resume...or the CV is a tool that has many purposes...yet most people only use it for marketing..."

"The question that you have to ask yourself is...Am I simply looking for sales...or do I really have something of value to sell?...if you have something specific...then go out there and sell it! That will differentiate you from the ocean of people who use the traditional vehicle...traditionally...and make your results...non-traditional!"

"Can we print a copy of my short version?"

"I already did!"

Passion and Capability, Chapter 7

2010-04-07T04:08:00.000-07:00

Over the few weeks that I had worked to permanently solve the many issues and challenges that this department had, I had grown to appreciate the "lot" that had been given to EVERY person involved...

From management...to the staff...

When they had a chance to stand behind someone...who supported then...things "got better!"

I realized however...that at this point in the effort...if that person left (the one whom they stood behind and depended upon)...the people and the department's performance would revert...

Another realization that I had was that if, by chance...the "simple volume" of the inputs, to the department improved...the true degradation would be masked...and the leadership would be able to claim sustained success...It is hard to describe...but a volume increase could look like success...what really mattered was the percentage of the volume processed successfully...if the percentage stayed at 50% and the volume processed increased...it would look like they are doing better...what this organization didn't realize was that the success rate needed to be improved!

This led me to the need for an additional performance measure...one which would show that the level was not simple getting the same percentage of more...and in the long run creating a customer service death spiral...

So I set out to develop that measure...and prepared for the resistance that its implementation may initiate...

I even started to empathize with the plight of "1/2 Marathon Man" (M and M which he was code named!)

His fixation on marathon running seemed to be a defense mechanism...a safe harbor in which he could psychologically drop anchor and avoid the gale-force winds of reality...it was his "happy place!"

He avoided reality at all costs and hid behind running whenever there was even the slightest chance that he would be see for what he thought he really was...incompetent...he would go back into the past...and revisit some personally amplified success...

He was not however incompetent...he had as many arms, legs, eyes and ears as I had...he could do it...but he lacked the knowledge to do it and was unwilling to admit that he lacked that knowledge (out of fear of being seen for what he really was) and also lacked the initiative to even, on the sly, to learn something...

So he sat in a vicious circle of lying and avoidance!

This was not a place that anyone should be in...and that made me sad...

As I thought about it deeper...it all came down to one thing...courage...

How do you instill courage in someone who totally lacks it...better yet...how do you get him to change?

AND if asked if he had courage...could come up with a thousand of self-disillusioning stories of bravery...that had no more depth and permanence than that of lipstick...

Interesting thoughts and insights...that I had little experience with...

I had near always worked with people who were courageous...and relished the thought of playing on the edge with them...

This was totally different for me...

As I thought...I realized that I may have to "walk the route" counter-clockwise for a while...

"Every-one's path in life is for them and them alone...but it doesn't have to be lonely! That is what a mentor is for..." I could hear his voice as if he resided right in my mind...

It was time for me to make a visit and see what he thought...

He was not far from me...only a few minutes drive..."taking a break from the fray" as he sometimes did...

He spent this time, "taking the time to be wise" as he put it...

...and selectively looking for his next experience...he sought experiences...never money...to him money was a side benefit...

I think that he kept me around because I safely expanded his experience horizon...much like a space probe visits other planets without the risk of harming human lives!

He could be living the challenges of his own path...and walking along side me...experiencing my plight...

Double the wisdom...half the risk...

It was nearing 10pm and I knew he would be in bed shortly...I called him and asked if I could bounce some thoughts off of him...tomorrow or the next day...

Much to my surprise, he said he would be over in a minute...

I quelled his enthusiasm and made arrangements to meet him for breakfast at his house...at 5:30am the very next morning...

I went to bed...knowing the morning would come way too quickly...

During the night...I was awakened every hour or so, by the phone ringing...but I refused to answer it...and no message were left...I knew who was calling...and it could wait until 5:30...

Before I could ring the doorbell, he opened the door...we greeted and he invited me in...

"Let me get you breakfast," he said as he led me to the kitchen.

We sat at his table and I immediately noticed three containers of milk placed in the center...

"Liquid diet" I thought...

"I bet you think this is breakfast, didn't you?" he inquired, "Breakfast will be delivered soon."

"I was contemplating milk last night"

"It is interesting"

"There are three different containers. One plain generic, one regular and one very decorated. But as they sit there you do not know if the milk inside is any good."

"That is until you open one and pour the milk out and smell it and taste it"

"What comes out of its mouth is what is on the inside...pure and simple."

"If good milk pours out...all of the milk on the inside is good. If your sample is bad, then all of what is on the inside is bad."

"The container has little to do with the real freshness of the milk. It may extend its usefulness for a little while, but the bottom-line is that the container has nothing to do with the value of the inside."

"We can take the generic containers and get some artist to turn it into a masterpiece, but the contents are either good or bad...fresh or sour..."

"But you just don't really know until what is on the inside pours out from the mouth of the container."

"People are like that too..."

I did not want to let on, but I was thinking that very thing about halfway through his discussion...

"There are generic and plain looking, people, and those who look VERY good."

"You have no idea what's inside them until they open their mouth and what is on the inside...pours out...in the form of words."

"If what comes out of their mouth is good, you can assume that what is on the inside is also good"

"If what comes out of their mouth is bad...you can expect that the entire inside is bad"

""As one listens and it doesn't take very long...a person can get a pretty good idea of what the inside of a person is like...from the words and the tones that they use..."

"This is not a learned skill, but in our very nature..."

"Some people have observed that babies are very good judges of character."

"Their vocabulary is rather limited...and I dare to say that for at least the first year of their life...nil"

"Yet by listening to people's tones, etc. they are able to judge the inside rather accurately...at least from their perspective...and what serves them"

"I contend that most people are even better judges of character...or at least could be...because they have added the meanings of what was said to how it was spoken..."

"If what pours out of a person is mean, abusive, trash, self-serving...then you know what the inside is like..."

"If what pours out from the inside is altruistic, selfless, kind and generous...then you know what the inside is like"

"It is the combination of words and tones (intent) that is a great indicator of whether the inside is sour or fresh..."

"Another thing that I was thinking about was that tasting one drink of sour milk from a container and then expecting anything but sour from it...is like doing the same things the same way...and expecting different outcomes...it is insanity"

"Hearing self-serving language from someone...and expecting them not to be...is insanity"

"No matter how jaded the words may be"

"Yes there is always a chance of deception...and that in and of itself is an indicator of the inside...deception...lies...this person is a liar...what is the inside like?"

"You have heard it...once a liar...always a liar..."

"The neat thing about people is that they act with integrity...a continuity of behaviour...staying true to what is inside of them...that is integrity..."

"If the inside is bad...they can act with integrity...and be consistently bad..."

"That is a benefit for those who have to be discerning..."

"You do not need a degree in psychology to be able to accurately judge a person's character...just listen to them..."

"Another cool thing is that you can know when the inside has changed...by noting when the person's language has changed"

"Moreover you can change a person's language by changing the inside"

"AND moreover...you can change a person's insides by disciplining their language..."

"It doesn't matter where you start...fixing it is as simple as just plain starting somewhere..."

"So how do you set a person on the road to change?" I asked

The doorbell rang and he scurried off to answer it.

After a few minutes he returned with a feast of a breakfast...and began dishing out enough food to carry this discussion on for days...

He sat back down after pouring the coffee and asked, " What thoughts did you want to bounce off of me?"

I responded, "Let's not leave your thoughts half finished...I want to hear this out to its conclusion"

"That is nice of you! Where did we leave off? Oh yes...what is the catalyst of change?"

"You eat and I'll talk..."

"It all has to do with person's value...I have a saying..."

"If it is a cause for shame...there is THE CASE for change..."

"What is important that the drivers for shame are in place and appropriate..."

"It is interesting...the greatest drivers of action and hunger, fear and guilt..."

"Drivers at a higher level are few and far between..."

"You can not change the individual without a change in ethics and morals..."

"That is the only place that you should focus your energy...it does really have to go back to what is on the inside...but your strategy may be to get the person to intellectually recognize that their words are immoral or unethical and have them strive to change them...or you may take the other path and get them to recognize that their ethics and morality is bad and they change that and there is a subsequent change in their speech"

"Clock-wise or counterclockwise...the path doesn't matter...you'll end up in the same place!"

"You always have to bring up our grocery shopping don't you?"

He laughed and continued,"Change requires a desire to change...lasting change requires a change in desires..."

"Anyone can effect change...but there are few that have effective change..."

"The difference is what that change is built upon..."

"The most important thing is...whenever change is needed...especially in an individual...you have to start and you have to stick with it..."

"The biggest mistake a person can make..."

"I know...is not starting..." I laughed.

"More coffee?"

"Now what were you thinking?"

"I have to admit...it seems like either I have forgotten or you answered it...I can not decide which...perhaps I will have some more coffee...and it will activate the cells that are still sleeping...I didn't have the heart to tell him that he answered my question with three cartons of milk!"

"I do know that I have to start something..."

Passion and Capability - Chapter 6

2010-03-24T05:55:00.000-07:00

I was reveling in the performance improvements that we were experiencing...I find that one of the elements that separate great leaders from mediocrity is the ability to honestly celebrate success...

I taught my mentor this...he was often too busy to stop (even for a moment) and enjoy the fleeting aroma of accomplishment...

...Although my project was not yet completely finished...we were at a place that was only a pipe dream...a "stretch goal" as they would have you believe...I didn't like that term..."stretch goal"...if you can achieve it...then it is the goal...if you can't don't attempt it...if they want that then they should tell you that they want it...

Success and achievement...is all about "stretch"...not about idling across the finish line and claiming audacious victories...and taking credit for that which can not be accomplished without "stretch"...

How silly that management method is and how pervasive it is across well meaning organizations...

Enough of that! It was detracting from my feelings of accomplishment!

In short order, we had exceeded their expectations...and were on a path that would take this organization to being a major contributor of the corporation...not too long ago...it was a proverbial anchor!

The "marathon runner" had seemed to refocus his efforts towards leading rather than running from the problems...

As I reflected on this...I thought about how much my mentor had an impact on the way I worked...and he often admitted that I had changed him too...for the better, I hoped...

People who knew both of us...called us clones! I took that as a compliment...

That is what happens when a friendship has that much influence...

It was not difficult...knowing him as well as I did...made emulating him easy...

"Imitation is the highest form of flattery..."

...or so I thought...until...

The day I stopped to buy fuel for my car...

I was in a hurry...ran the card through the slot and began pumping...

As I waited (impatiently) I looked around the drive and then over at the store...

He was sitting on the sidewalk...removing one his shoes and dumping what seemed like gravel or sand from them...

His usually perfectly pressed pants were torn...and I could also see that his elbows were scrapped...

His bicycle, carefully laid next to him...

"HEY!" I yelled...

He immediately took notice, tied his shoe, picked up his bike and limped over to me...

"What the heck happened to you?" I asked

"I was riding over to your house to see if you wanted to take a ride...and got off the sidewalk...into some sand...and had a little crash..." he smiled...

"You are too old to do off-roading...look at you...you are a mess" I said in the best fake, concerned voice that I could muster

"You're telling me...I almost swore! Can you take me to your place to get cleaned up...We should also look at my wheels...I think the front one is a bit out of round! Then we can go on our trip"

"I think that I have a bit of your favorite medicine stashed away...perhaps we should forgo the bike ride and just take it easy today!"

As we drove...he asked that we stop by his car dealership so that he can pick up his car...

Things then became clearer to me...

He would have never ridden his bike to my house...when he had the car...

"What's wrong with your car?" I asked...

"Nothing," he replied, "It is just in for a check-up!"

As we drove, I thought about the fact that he has driven 3 cars and all of them are made by the same manufacturer...

From his stories...this was the only brand he ever drove...

"Why do you always buy those cars?"

"In my book...auto is a 3-letter word!"

"All others are imitations..."

"I would call that quite a compliment for that company...if all of the others are imitations..."

"That is true...if they were true imitators...but they lack substance..."

"But isn't imitation the greatest form of flattery?" I asked

"Only if it is real on no a facade...otherwise it is a total insult!" He replied

"I hope that you are not insulted when they call us clones"

"Not in the least! I am complimented...I believe that this observation, by others, is based more on our results than on our behaviors..."

"This characteristic and this characteristic alone is the differentiator...if it provides great (altruistic) results...or at least the intended results with consistency...then it is OK"

"You and I go into organizations...and make differences...you in your way...and I in mine..."

"I know that we are not the same in any way shape or form...but we always seem to end up at the same place..."

My car (or whatever I presumed it to be) came to a stop in front of the Service Center. The manager came running out like he was greeting an old friend...called him by name and asked him if he could get him a cup of coffee or anything...he totally ignore that he looked like he had just been processed by a food grinder and was still seeping blood from a few wounds! I just smiled...rolled down the window and asked if I needed to wait...

The duo walked back to my car and the Service Manager introduced himself...and explained that he was so happy to have him bring his car here...he had seen it out on the road and wondered who was servicing it...

"Is this his first time here?" I asked

"Oh YES! Previously he was taking it to the dealer in the north" the service guy explained

"See why I drive these cars?" he prodded

A few other cordialities were shared and I drove off...

As I drove I mentally planned getting the first-aid kit out...then the rum...no I should get the rum out first...

I decided that it would take a few minutes for him to arrive...so it wouldn't matter which one I got out first...

I pulled into the driveway and looked in the rear-view mirror and he was right behind me!

I got out of my car and he, his...

"I have to say that you drive fast!"

"How long did it take for you to check out?"

"I didn't have to check out...he brought the keys to me and walked me to the car as you left...he explained what they did and had a full set of documents on the seat for me to review...in case I had any questions...I could look at them...and if after that...I could call them...but from my perspective I was good to go...and that is what I have that auto for...to go...I was on the move before you left the lot..."

"NOW THAT'S SERVICE"

"That is not service...it is a part of the auto...a critical component that should be emulated by all of those auto wannabes!"

"I think that you pay for that service and attention to detail in the price of your car..." I observed

"I disagree...the more interactions that I have with this company...the more that I realize that you pay for that service in the next car you purchase from them..."

"They make the initial investment in the relationship...and it pays off with customer loyalty..."

"They only lose money if you are not a repeat customer...and then it most likely something that they did to you and deserve!"

"That is an attitude...OK...a behavior that we should all emulate...A focus on repeat sales...not just on the immediate return...but an eye on the future..."

"That company will be here long after Yugo." he smiled...

"They may never be the biggest...but they easily could become the only one!" he laughed...

We walked into the house...I gave him a choice of consumable alcohol or topical alcohol...he chose to consume it first...then apply it...

We dressed his wounds...

...found a pair of pants for him...

...checked out his bike...and straightened his front wheel slightly...

As we focused on our somewhat rote tasks...I thought about what he was saying...and suddenly realized that this may be the conundrum that "marathon man may be in...

He runs marathons because he is imitating the behavior of someone that he aspires to be...but will NEVER be...

Now he is emulating me...I AM NOT FLATTERED IN THE LEAST! In fact...I am insulted!

That man is giving me a bad reputation...I have to do something about that!

The man is simply a photocopier...he can not do anything original...

He throws quotes out like he said them himself...but he never really can integrate them into his own brand...he has no brand...he is a Yugo!

As we worked...I think he was watching my face...

"Murder is not one of your options," he mentioned out of the blue...

"What? Who?" I responded

"Your face looks like you want to kill someone!"

"Remind me to NEVER play poker with you..."

"You don't!"

"I know! But if I ever consider it..."

"What got you so angry?"

"I was thinking about marathon man"

"You realized that he was simply imitating you huh?"

"Flattering wasn't it?"

"I now see what you were talking about...if someone we respect emulates us...it is a compliment...if someone we do not respect imitates us...we are insulted..."

"So what part of that equation do you attack...you or him?"

"Hand me that alcohol..."

"Which one? The one for the outside...or the one for the inside?"

"Are you planning on altering the environment or the behavior?"

When do you Accommodate?

2010-03-17T04:54:00.000-07:00

We both needed food, so we decided that we would go shopping together...

Being creatures of habit...we both frequented the same local market...in fact, often enough that we knew it well...but each, in our own way...

Both of us had our lists...his facilitated a counter-clockwise path of efficiency, my list was written in a clockwise path...

I thought it more efficient to go with the flow...and he felt it better to go against it...

Rather than compromising the order of our personal lists and plans...we found carts and parted our ways at the entrance...he traveling right, then left...and me to the left, then right...

"This is going to be an interesting test...we'll see who is right," I thought

Although I had significantly more items on my list, we actually finished at the same time and met at the check-out area...

"An interesting grocery store lesson...Direction is simply a matter of preference...and has no bearing on efficiency...or success" he laughed as we again passed each other...

I guess he was thinking the same thing as I was! The test proved that it was simply a matter of preference...

He had his favorite cashier and I had mine...between us and freedom from the perils of shopping, a hoard of other buyers...were queued and waiting their turn in the line...

He took his place in his line and I in mine...we moved at the same pace, and we just patiently waited...

...and listened (eavesdropped) to the many different and interesting conversations going on around us...

Some were entertaining and others discomforting...

As something of interest was noted...he would wink and tip his head in the direction that I was supposed to shift my attention...I did the same when I caught the words before him...

One conversation immediately and simultaneously drew both of our attentions...

Two nicely dressed ladies were talking about work...

"I know...but he is the boss...he is just plain weird and has his idiosyncrasies...we just have to accommodate him...and put up with it..."

I knew that this single comment would cause him interject his opinion and guidance to these town people...

"Excuse me...I couldn't help but over hear what you just said..."

"Can I ask you why?"

"Why...what?" One of the two responded in perturbed voice

"Why you would put up with...or accommodate a boss' idiosyncrasies...if it bothers you enough to talk about it...you should do something about it..."

"Being a boss doesn't give a person a right to have idiosyncrasies...in fact it demands just the opposite..."

"Mister...the guy is weird...and he controls the money and we have to put up with him...that is just they way the world is...if we want a job and get paid and buy food..."

"From my perspective...the only people who have a right to have idiosyncrasies...that is to be fringe-dwellers and are people who can not help it...the handicapped or amputees...the mentally retarded people...or psychologically impaired... These are the only people whose idiosyncrasies should be put up with...and then, as I think deeper about it...only within certain limits..."

"People...especially those who are in leadership positions...should be adaptive and sensitive to the needs of others...they should be constantly scrutinizing their own actions...looking for things they can change...to make it better and easier for the people that they work with and for...not harder..."

"I think that we often think that being weird is just their problem...It is not...many people allow them to get away with it...they do not call them on it...and as a result...they think that it is permission to be weird!"

"No one has permission (or a right) to be weird...or different...or idiosyncratic...when it bothers or hurts or upsets someone...that is just plain wrong...it is selfish and immoral..."

"A person only has a right to have an idiosyncrasy, if that idiosyncrasy is one of uncompromising pursuit of making every day significantly better...for themselves and more importantly...others..."

"I wish you were my boss...our workplace would be so much better..."

"I am the way I am because of people who were not afraid to tell me that I was acting weird...and I was willing to learn and change...but I can tell you that most of it was because they wouldn't quit on me..."

"This important lesson I had to be taught by people who cared...about me and themselves..."

"Perhaps you can teach your boss a thing or two...when you do...just be sure to give him a way out with dignity...don't just go to him with criticism...also give a suggestion for improvement...with it will come success..."

"He'll appreciate that...and you will have done your part to make your, and his, life a bit better..."

Then he went quiet and began unloading his cart...

The two ladies finished their transaction and left...planning on how to talk with the boss.

"THAT WAS SO COOL!" I commented...

"It was nothing more than my advice to a person with a need...all you have to do is open your eyes...everyone in our lines have needs...needs are as numerous as there are people...some you can help...others are beyond your ability...just look for them...and at the first open door...grab that opportunity...and remember sometimes YOU have to open the door..."

As we "checked out" he continued to ramble...

"You know...they've paved paradise and put up a parking lot..." he said in a rather lyrical way...

"HUH?" I was confused...

"It's an old song that I used to listen to a lot...it was really popular in my country..."

"I think it was popular here too...it just sounded too cliche for me to pay much attention..." I responded

"The message of that song was that most people don't realize what they lost until it is gone..." I was thinking that most organizations do not ever realize what they have lost either...the problem being being they never realize what they lost..."

"Many GREAT people leave because of politics and idiosyncrasies..."

"As a result...Leadership is a huge burden..."

"Let's look at one of the most important roles of a great leader..."

"1 - Attract Great talent..."
"2 - Engage Great talent..."
"3- Retain Great talent..."

"A leader that can not do that is not meeting one of the most basic and important roles...and their leadership should be questioned...heck they are getting paid to do that...whether or not it is specified in their bonus plan...if they are not attracting, engaging and retaining great people...then they are remiss and failing on one of their basic leadership performance requirements..."

"Let's think a bit deeper..."

"If a leader has idiosyncrasies...they may be able to attract and engage...but retaining a great person nears impossibility..."

"Now...Let's change the thought just a bit...

Leaders are simply representations of the organizations that they lead...

Organizations, too have idiosyncrasies...except those idiosyncrasies are generalized and called...POLITICS..."

"It doesn't take long for people to realize an organization that has unbearable politics...and they leave them or avoid them like the plague...at least the good people...and those organizations end up with a population full of political fools!"

"That is when a vicious circle is created...and the death spiral is inevitable..."

"Great people are lost to organizational idiosyncrasies...Organizational Politics..."

"The bottom line is that you can not pay a person enough...or give them enough perks to make that political garbage worth their while...unless they are incompetent or desperate!"

"An organization only has a right to be political, that is to say to have organizational idiosyncrasies...when those politics ensure an uncompromised pursuit of continuous improvement..."

"Gee...I think that I heard that before," I laughed...
Then his attention was shifted by the cashier...

"That is a unique way of looking at things," I noted, thinking it would spur on more thoughts...but it didn't...

He pushed beyond the end of the check-out line and parked while I finished up...

As we pushed our bounty out to our cars, I stabbed at getting the conversation back on track...

"If I combine what you told those ladies...with what you told me...there is an interesting conclusion..." I prodded...

"What is that?...I think that I was absolutely consistent..."

"You said that the only justified idiosyncrasies are those of physical or mental handicaps...am I correct?"

"Although not a quote...you are pretty close to what I said..."

"I would say that you allow for a plea of insanity...the inability to cope or adapt...otherwise an individual or organization should adapt...right?"

"That is right...the only right the we have is to get better...so making the majority adapt is not a right of leadership..."

"In both the individual and the organizational examples...you used the word idiosyncrasy to describe the situation...right?"

"Yes I did..."

"...And the words politics and organizational idiosyncrasies can be used interchangeably...right?"

"Exactly..."

"So I can conclude that you think that organizational politics could be called an organizational handicap or even organizational insanity..."

"You followed those two conversations perfectly!"

"Organizational Politics are pure insanity! They are self-serving...and immature...it is the behavior of preschoolers, allowed to control an adult world!"

"It may even be worse than individual insanity...because you can not isolate an organization from humanity by secluding them in an asylum."

"Organizational politics will run rampant for the next decade or two...(this conversation took place in 1981) and then, organizations will slowly realize how destructive it is...those destined to failure will not...and those who survive will take the necessary actions to clean up their environment...but it will be a slow and painful change..."

"Many organizations attempt to justify the existence of politics by calling it the way they get things done..."

"The essence of it is...that they are saying that it is a process..."

"I agree with the fact that it is a process...but in their context...it is a euphemism..."

"From my perspective...it is actually...a process of compromising great ideas and suggestions through the coddling of tender egos and the incompetence of immature people who are afraid to face facts..."

"As your career grows and you build an organization...stick to data and insight...do not fall into the regressive trap of politics...that is a game for grade schoolers...not adults...you are better than that!"

"Speak the truth clearly, slowly and repetitively...and always based on facts..."

"If they refuse to listen...leave them to their own demise...most will fail...some will grow up"

"Your ice cream is melting" I noted...

"You haven't unloaded your groceries yet...let me help you..." he replied...

As we walked to my car, I quietly pondered what he had just said...

He intuitively knew that he had said more than enough to get me thinking...

We loaded my car and I walked him back to his...

"I have one final question to ask you..."

"Ask away my friend..."

"How do we make organizations see the destructiveness of a political environment?"

"That answer is really easy...perhaps the easiest one of the many questions that you have asked in a long time..."

"There is no efficient route...I'll take the counter-clockwise path...and you take the clockwise path...I'll meet you at the cashier..."

"What matters is choosing a path and sticking to it..."

"If we do not get a move on...our food will spoil and we'll not eat!"

With that he rolled up his window and drove off...leaving me with my list...

He was right!

Passion & Capability, Chapter 5

2010-03-09T08:09:00.000-08:00

I couldn't help but feel the sponginess of the running track's surface, as we walked laps.

It felt good on my feet...

As I pondered this physical experience...I had to laugh at the parallel universes that we unintentionally created by our exercise routine. My latest challenge was not unlike the track we were on...soft and spongy...clearly marked lanes and absolutely circular...about the time you thought you had finished...you were back at the beginning!

We walked at a gait that made talking nearly impossible...suddenly he slowed...and he began to chatter...

"A person can put on running shoes...but that does not make him a marathon runner..."

"When I was in the army...we used to say that a person could put on a uniform...but that didn't make him a soldier..."

"When I went to college...we used to say...you can put on a helmet and your pads...but that doesn't make you a football player..."

"When I moved into industry...we said...you can have a title...but that doesn't make you a leader!"

"From what I am hearing...you seemed perplexed by the challenges that I am facing," I prodded..."

"I am not perplexed...your challenges are bringing back some interesting experiences and thoughts..."

"It reminds me to always keep, what I claim to be and what I produce, in the forefront of my mind...you can not take that for granted..."

"A person is either a contributor to THE GAME that they are playing...or...they are being carried by the team..."

"...if you are a defensive player...your goal is to stop your opponent from scoring...if you can not specifically point to the number of points that you stopped...then your team is carrying you..."

"...the same holds true for an offensive player...if you can not count the number of points you made...then the team is carrying you..."

"In an individuals' game, like running...putting on a pair of shoes and running is not racing...

"...have you bettered your previous time?"

"...Have you placed higher in the final rankings?"

"...If you can not answer yes...you are letting your team (yourself) down..."

"In leadership...title is just like the uniform...it's permission to play the game...or run in the race...but as with sports...you are a contributor...or the team is carrying you!"

"A leader has many roles...if a leader ever says...that is not my job...it can be an indicator of a leadership weakness...ultimately every job under their control...is their job...if they are not doing themselves...they have found a way to get it done better..."

"I find it distressing when I find a leaders who is being carried by the team...they ultimately are not on their game..."

"It is just like watching a football game and seeing the star just slack-off"

"That game is lost"

"Companies need to develop ways to identify those who they are carrying and address those issues"

"In sports...they do a pretty good job of doing that...

"...When a player is in a kids league...everyone gets playing time..."

"...As the game gets more competitive...more serious...the poor players get less and less playing time...if they play, they are simply placeholders to give the real players a rest..."

"...In invitational sports...bad players do not get invited back...to do what they do...(kind of like consulting, huh?)..."

That is because you either score points or divert points...that is an easy count...or you either place...or win...that is an easy count...if you do not do that...you can't really call yourself a player...you really aren't part of the team...and should delude yourself into believing that you are..."

"Leaders are organizational players...many wrongly think that they are simply team coaches or managers..."

"That is wrong"

"Great leaders recognize the fact that they are fully responsible for every job under their control...and that they have hired others, directly or indirectly, to help them..."

"Normally a leader "washes their hands" of the task...and then becomes a critic...rather than showing the appreciation for the help!"

"A Great leader steps up and works along side those who are on their team..."

"A leader's responsibility is all about Satisfaction...Involvement...Engagement...Promotion..."

"Those things can not be done from behind a desk..."

"But must be seen consistently in the trenches..."

"When I think about it...This is the epiphany that your "half-man" must have..."

"He does not have to see how is department is performing...his department has captured that reality..."

"He needs to capture the true essence of leadership...and how he is falling short...when that happens..."

"Don't you mean IF?" I asked...

"IF is not an option, for you..."

"You need to run in circles around that proverbial "organizational track" until you and him cross the finish-line together..."

"Just remember that he is a marathon man...or at least he thinks he is...he has some endurance...and can hold on to his race longer than most people that you have encountered..."

"I am done with this exercise...are you?"

I agreed...

"Let's go see how you do on the next race..."

Passion and Capability - Chapter 4

2010-03-03T04:14:00.000-08:00

During the weekend it was not a time for rest...

I had many things to prepare...before the epiphany (that he predicted) occurred...

THEN...

He appeared at my door and before I could customarily greet him...he began...what I predicted would be a LONG dissertation...

"I have been thinking...There are two operators that come into play with rational thought...intellectual rationalization and experiential rationalization..."

"...if properly used each will come to the same conclusion...that is...when given the same challenge..."

"...HOWEVER..."

"Intellectual rationalization can contain flaws within its assumptions...and experiential rationalization can contain flaws within its interpretations..."

"Individuals can and will intellectually rationalize their situation with flawed assumptions...and then this operator becomes the enemy...of truth"

"...Others will interpret their experience to suit their desired outcomes...and use it as a shield behind which they rationalize their current state...and again...defend themselves and guess what? This becomes an enemy of truth..."

"Your greatest allies are also your greatest enemies!"

"We are going to have to look at your plight...using the analogy of medieval warfare..."

"I have never looked at my career as me being a knight in shining armor...but it has a nice feel...this could be fun!" I laughed. He didn't see the humor in it...he was dead serious...so I decided that I would listen!

"YOU my friend are living in a siege situation..."

"Your challenge sits behind MASSIVE castle walls...and you have surrounded them..."

"...all you can do is continually lob reality over their walls..."

"They will finally see it for what it is...and surrender...not to you...but to reality..."

"But it is the weekend...I have no contact with them...how can I continue to keep reality in their faces?" I asked, "This sounds like it is going to be a long siege..."

"It will not...stay on your path...that department is working diligently, as we speak, to prove you wrong...if you did your work correctly...they will not be able to rationalize any other conclusion...than the ones you drew for them..."

"...every counter attack...will turn on them...that is the beauty of solid data..."

"I hope my case was air-tight" I said as I began to second-guess my work...

"Don't worry...I know you have done OK!"

"If not...remember that this is a siege...just because they didn't surrender today...you have the entire world behind you...their castle is small, their supplies limited and it will soon fill up with their own excrement..."

"You have a unique way with words! I so enjoy the visual imagery that it elicits!" I chided, "When does the knight ride in?"

"Stop with the knight...there is no knight in this version of the vision!" He laughed...
Truth is not often found in words, but in the repeatability of the messages that are found in the patterns. Pattern recognition is an advanced form of intelligence...and the more intelligent people find the similarities in obscure events..."

"Think about this..."

"The elementary thinkers only see similarities in exact events..."

"As one grows wiser...drawing the parallels between unrelated events grows more astute..."

"Although I can not yet fathom it (and this is purely philosophical)...I believe that the ultimate intelligence would recognize everything as one thing...and totally related..."

"What an admirable goal to strive for...!"

My advice is that you double-check your "boulders" and ensure that they are granite and not sandstone..."

"Your catapults are sound..."

"Make sure you have sufficient ammunition...and the confidence to stand your ground..."

"They are surrounded...any attempt to escape means that they run into you! You have them surrounded...you have an infinite number of escape routes to use...since there is an entire world behind you!"

"For you...this weekend is nothing more than ensuring that your confidence is strong..."

I took his advice and checked and double-checked and triple-checked every measure and conclusion...and the weekend passed quickly...

Monday morning, (as he predicted) was full of subtle counter-attacks...fully comprised of misinterpretations and misrepresentations. My response was to quietly stand my ground...and continually (and VERY publicly) recognized that my conclusions may be wrong...and I needed help to see the errors of my way! I asked them to show me what was wrong with them...

Each time they attacked "my numbers" a piece of their wall crumbled!

By the end of the day...their fortress was in shambles...and they stood behind proverbial piles of debris...

Most crawled out and came to "the acceptance phase," other refused to admit it and continued to hide behind the piles...and continued to make claims of conspiracies and "witch-hunts"

That was when I remembered something I heard him (my mentor) once say publically..."If I am on a witch-hunt...the only ones that need to be afraid...are witches!"

I had an idea...There was a person at this organization that I had labeled "the myna bird." It was easier to get information out and across the entire organization...all I had to do was tell him something in confidence...it was faster than through memos and newsletters and meetings...

I took a walk and found him...I displayed frustration I was having with the accusations of the department and then I told him that "in truth" I was on a "witch hunt"...I was looking for the reason(s) behind the organization's poor performance...and that I have been charged with and will eliminate it (them)...pure and simple...

It was the truth...and I knew that by day's end, the entire organization would know it!

and as predicted...that message spread like a brush fire in a gale!

One by one...the "hold outs," not wanting to be tagged as the "witch" came out of hiding...that is...except for "marathon man."

"Marathon Man" (actually half-marathon man) still stood behind his facade and touted his running ability, rather than his performance as a leader...in fact, the frequency of his talking about races increased to a point that he seldom talked about work or when he did...it was always about past accomplishments...

I gave up...and simply left him in his world of denial...

The week passed and great headway was made...with everyone but him...

I was perplexed and wrapping up the week...sitting in my office...when I heard "half man's" (Which is what he was now tagged) voice just outside my doorway...

He was talking with a sub-ordinate's sub-ordinate's subordinate...an outspoken lady...who always had something to say...but what was delightful...it was almost always right!

She had come to him with some ideas for improving department performance...and from what I could hear...they were well thought through and sound!

He almost immediately went into his "marathon thing"...and she didn't take have the time or patience for the platitudes!

"Tell me what your running has to do with me?" she asked..."It doesn't guarantee that I'll have a job tomorrow...or a promotion because I learned something new...it doesn't feed and cloth my kids..."

And with that she stomped off...walked past my office and winked...

He followed shortly thereafter and hesitated at my doorway...I looked up and greeted him...he started to talk...then sighed...shrugged his shoulders and walked back to his office...without saying anything meaningful...

No sooner had he left and my phone rang...

He was laughing..."Sometimes the most devastating boulders are not the ones you throw...huh?"

To be continued...

Passion and Capability, Chapter 3

2010-02-24T03:53:00.000-08:00

Our meeting with him was picture perfect!

It was focused on identifying the issues and identifying those individuals who could best help in the resolution of them.

It was everything that is written about in the annuls of Process Improvement...but seldom, if ever, really experienced!

A plan was established and I walked out of "marathon man's" office absolutely elated...

As soon as we were out of earshot of "prying ears" I was met with a cynicism that I NEVER saw in him before or since...

"What you experienced...will not last!...it is as much facade as is his claim to being a winning marathon runner...and he (by his own admission) has never ran more than 1/2 the distance..."

"He needs...as well as his department...to face reality...and come to grip with (and take responsibility for), the delusion that they created..."

"He and they...think that they are something that they are not!"

"...at least...not yet..."

"So your challenge is not as much about finding solutions at this point...but on finding a way to get them to see reality...your time will be best spent in this arena..."

For the next three days there was an energy focused on change that was never before seen within this organization...

Then it waned...

During that time...I thought about what he he told me...

I used the "Genius of the "AND" tactic" throughout these "pivotal" days...which meant I worked twice as hard as I had originally intended...

"The Genius of the "AND" tactic" for those who have not spent much time with me...is a simple and effective way to accomplish what they need and what you need at the same time...

For this...it meant that

1 - I intently listened to their ideas for change...and improvement...documented them on the appropriate forms...

AND...

2 - I never missed a chance to ask..."how do you measure that...or how do you know?" This set the stage for developing measures...and graphs...and gain acceptance on the data's representation of reality...

In the evening...I wrote out...in a concise manner...a recap of the meetings...

..."bulleting" all of the recommendations and the source...

I also "recapped" all of the data sources and created "draft" graphs...asking for review and verification/confirmation...

At the end of the first week...I called a meeting to review the consolidated findings...

It was well attended and represented...everyone who needed to be there was...and each brought with them a few "body guards!"

The review of the potential opportunities went quickly...everyone simply nodded...related to their suggestions...and most of the others provided support...

The closing question from the entire group was...when can we get started...

That question provided the perfect opening to the review of the performance graphs...

This was when I realized that the consolidated psyche of a group of people can be bi-polar!

At the lead was "marathon man!" The one who claimed to fully support this effort...

Every chart...was wrong...even after they had confirmed the representative nature of the data...

This was when a unified claim of "witch hunt" arose...

What I thought was going to be a "cake-walk" turned into a cage fight!

Not only did they attack me...but each other!

I was not about to let down and "shred" the evidence!

I stopped the group and reminded them that our purpose was to make things better..and if the graphs were misrepresented...make a suggestion for improvement...

The pendulum then swung into another dimension! (This is why I felt like I was at a bi-polar convention)...

The meeting then took on the nature of eBay! People began "trading" metrics and negotiating charts..."I'll use this one...if you use this one..."

I was dumbfounded...and decided that the best tactic was to simply...let nature take its course...

After three of the longest hours of my life...the meeting adjourned...

And everyone left sad!

I was concerned...the meeting appeared to be an absolute failure...I wanted the masses roused to action...singing praises of the effort...what I got was akin to a funeral dirge!

I clean-up the room...shut off the lights and walked slowly from the conference room...

I needed to reflect on the progress...I felt that I was a failure...

As I rounded to corner...he was standing there...

"You look like you just lost your best friend...rest assured that I am here!"

"I know...That meeting was..."

"AN ABSOLUTE SUCCESS!" he interrupted..."I know you didn't notice me...I hid in the back corner!"

"What do you mean a success...?" I asked

"You my friend got the group 80% of the way to success...when I have time...I'll explain...but rest assured...you did exactly what you needed to do..."

This was one of the very few times in my life that I was totally confused...

My confusion was amplified by the fact that he immediately left to "take care of his fires" leaving me totally alone with my thoughts...

I went back to my office...sat with my back to the door and took a stance like I was intently working at my PC and...I thought...

...I thought about how the week started with the "marathon man" and him being totally oblivious to reality...it was...as if he was in total denial...

Then how he and "the mob" got totally angry with my being there...and attacked my credibility and that of their data...That kind of anger was totally uncalled for and unprofessional!

Most confusing was the mob's negotiating. Trading and bargaining their performance measures? I had NEVER seen behavior like that!

And to wrap up a meeting in sorrow...the last time I experienced something like that was when I had to carry the message that I was "shutting the place down!"

They were a "bi-polar" group! More mood swings than is at in a drug-free asylum!

They went from...

Denial...to...
Anger...to...
Bargaining...to...

Sorrow...

Why can't they just accept it?

Then it hit me...like being hit with a foam stress ball! In fact...it was a foam stress ball that hit me...and I turned to find him standing in the doorway...with a huge smile...

"Death and Dying?"

"You got it!" he smiled..."Next week you'll see real acceptance!"

"I can not wait for the weekend to be over..."

"You need the weekend...they need the weekend...it is part of the equation!"

The Curse of a Visionary

2010-02-17T10:08:00.000-08:00

"...Most great thoughts are ahead of their time...The world is not prepared to grasp the thoughts of a visionary...yet the immutable laws of the universe will prevail and in time...these thoughts will be lauded as genius...yet only by that generation's cutting edge thinkers..."

"Where did that come from?" I asked as we peddled our bikes, two-abreast, along the side of a quiet road.

"I was just thinking about all of the great thinkers...the visionaries...they seemed cursed..."

"Is it really a curse or a blessing?...I would think it delightful to be able to see the truth...clearly...and have the inside information on the world..."

"Don't you? Think about how frustrated you get, with some of the people, within an organization, for their inability to see reality! If I have heard you confess that once...I have heard a hundred times..."

"I am just airing my frustrations...with someone that I trust...it never shows in my work..."

"That is my point...you know and they don't...you see (we see) and they can't...and that kills you...even though you never let on!"

"Visionaries are a different class of people...many people desire to be called that and they strive to that end...without knowing the true consequences of that choice. The best visionaries know how to operate in the normal world...the worst ones live on the extreme...and are never accepted..."

Our peddling pace began to slow as the intensity of the discussion increased. I noticed that this always happened. It was as if we subconsciously diverted energy from peddling to thinking...or walking to thinking...whatever we were doing, the pace of it slowed...

On second thought...it may be that we simply slowed, whatever we were doing, to extend the time together...it was an interesting effect...the cause was known (our discussions) and the impact was always positive...INSIGHT!

These times seemed like metaphysical dramas...I enjoyed participating in them...having numerous roles...audience, actor, stage hand...but seldom the director...that was his job and his alone...unless of course he abdicated it to me...

"There is a convenience store up ahead...I think it has a bench or two...perhaps a picnic table...let's stop and talk there...I do not want to miss any detail of this discussion," I suggested.

He agreed and stopped talking...for the moment and our pace quickened...both of us wanting to get back to the thought at hand...and to also give our legs a rest...

After grabbing a cup of coffee from the store...we found, as I had thought, a VERY tidy, small group of round cement tables and park-like benches, each with its own trash container.

I could see that this was popular with the locals. There were intimate groups playing cards, others talking what seemed to be whispered gossip, some just sitting quietly enjoying the sun and breeze mix. When the owners of the store (an elderly couple) were not serving someone inside, they were out, mixing with the patrons...sometimes taking orders and running back and forth, as best they could, between the merchandise, the customer and the cash register.

The flow of people, in and out, was constant. As they each left...they not only cleaned up after themselves, but gathered something from others who were not yet done..."as long as I am heading that way...can I take that for you?" I heard many times...

These people, bar none, left the place a bit better for their having been there. You may think this silly or an exaggeration, but while we were there, a lady brought some fresh cut flowers and placed them on each table...YES IT IS TRUE! and she left a huge bucket of the left-over irises next to a bench...with a "take a couple home and enjoy them" sign...

It was quaint and an excellent example of "community." What touched me for a moment was when one elderly patron walked out of the store and sat among "old" friends. After a long discussion about "yesterday's high school football game," he stood to leave and his friends said, "have one more cup of coffee and stick around..." He politely declined, with the excuse that he only brought enough money for one cup...suddenly there was enough money on the table to buy the store's brewer!

The atmosphere nearly distracted us from the reason for stopping...

...ALMOST...

We found a 2-place table that was situated at one end of the area and sat.

As we walked towards the table, I could see subtle head nods, elbow jabs and whispered (or mouthed) "Who are they?" questions.

"We may have trespassed on sacred ground," I snickered as we sat...

"You noticed?" he replied with a not so subtle grin...

"It is for the same reason that our being here is being questioned...that visionaries are cursed!"

"Do you think that our bikes are safe being parked out of sight...over there?" I asked...

"I have a feeling that you could leave a hundred dollar bill over there and it would be safe...these are a different people!"

With that...he stood up and asked the question publicly..."Does anyone here intend to steal our bikes? This young man is a bit nervous about you guys..."

The crowd roared in laughter...

I wanted to crawl into a hole...better yet...I wanted to dig a hole and shove him in it...

That was how he was...I actually had grown accustomed to it...

For the next 15 minutes...people walked up to us and introduced themselves and asked what we were doing here...and on and on...

He politely answered their questions...and they walked off...to resume their activities...

"You are absolutely crazy!" I laughed...

"Our presence would have ruined this group's entire day...if I hadn't done what I had done," he replied...

"We were interlopers...perhaps even a threat to their perceived status quo...now we are part of the community..."

"..once they saw that we shared the same ungrounded fears, that they did...the tension eased...and in their introductions...which were done subconsciously to show you that you had nothing to fear...they themselves quelled their fears..."

"That's interesting!" I quietly noted, "Can we go back on our discussion about the curse of visionaries?"

"We are on that discussion and never left it...not even when we stopped talking a half-hour ago..."

"How so?" I asked...

"The entire visionary drama has been playing out since our original thought..."

"We came upon that interesting thought...and to us it made perfect sense...reality became VERY clear..."

"We pondered the truth and decided that we needed to do something about it...which in our case was stop and discuss it further..."

"We happened upon a small community...and jumped right into the middle of it..."

"The community was a bit apprehensive about our presence..."

"If you noticed...when we appeared on the scene...all of their regular activity ceased..."

"Not until their fears where shown to be ungrounded...did they return to their routine...and they accepted us into their midst..."

"That is the curse of the visionary...and embedded within our drama was the answer to overcoming that curse!"

"Seek acceptance and quell the fears of the community...show them that you share the same ungrounded fears as they do...and wait for the invitation to be among them...and make the place better for your having been there...and guess what...NO CURSE!"

"You set this up?" I laughed...

"I simply took advantage of a situation that is ever present..."

That's when I noticed that the entire area was dead quiet and everyone was turned towards us...it was a "creepy" feeling...they were intently listening to us...

Not letting on to the fact that I had noticed...I said, "Man this is a beautiful place...I wish I had enough money to buy you another cup of coffee...and we could stay a bit longer...

Within minutes there was enough change on our table to buy the coffee brewer in the store...

Passion and Capability - Chapter 2

2010-02-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

After he bid us adieu...we sat for a few minutes in dead silence...in fact his eyes never met mine...

The man sitting in front of me was totally different from the one that I had met a few hours previously...

Someone had to break the silence...and I realized that it had to be me...

"Perhaps I was a bit too harsh..."

"You absolutely were not...you are here to make things better...and to be totally truthful with you...I think that you were right..."

Before he went into a long "confession" I stopped him...and he looked relieved...

"Let's figure out what we need to do to make the organization REALLY shout your praises...and do it..."

"I like that" he replied with a sigh of relief, "I figured that you were here on a witch hunt..."

"Not at all...I am here to make meaningful and significances...witch hunts are a last resort..."

Although the conversation was much longer and still had a tendency towards discussing marathons and half-marathons...we mostly stayed on subject and developed a clear understanding and mutual agreement of the goals and expectations of my engagement.

We finished lunch and drove back to the facility...set times to meet...and parted...

I walked back to the front door and he to the back...

I pondered my journey as I walked...

The next step was significantly more difficult...that is ascertaining the REAL condition and performance of the department...

The group had become conditioned to promoting success by upper management...and knew exactly what to say and how to say it...

I saw that my car was parked in its original place...and he was standing near it...having too just seen me...

"Here's the keys..."

"Don't you ever work?" I laughed. "YOU are such an instigator!"

"I didn't mean to set you up...but...the situation called for it...as I always say...success in any endeavor or process...is always about perfectly timed collisions..."

"You choreographed that collision quite well!" I laughed..."It was perfectly timed!"

"...and I suspect that your last conversation went well and actually set the stage for improvement..."

"It was much better...and this fellow is totally different..."

"He may be different in words...he is running scared...total change takes more time..."

"The wheels are turning on my challenge...so do you mind if tag along with you?" he asked, " I would just go and sit at the room..."

As we walked back to my temporary office, he continued his thoughts

"This may seem totally off-base, but let me ramble for a while...I do not believe in karma as a religious concept...but I do believe that when that concept developed, they were on to something..."

"People get back in exact or greater measure what they put into any effort...and that doesn't mean at a superficial level...but at the foundational level..."

"This is all about the tie that we have to Cause/Effect...and its subsequent Impact"

"No matter what we do...every effect is tied to specific causes...and that relationship can not be broken..."

"If you do something specific...the cause, have you...you can with absolute certainty predict the effect..."

"It is the subsequent impact that you can not predict...the reason is that the impacts are in the realm of human control..."

"AND the impacts are tied to the foundational reason...the motivational nature behind the initial actions that initiated the behaviors that generated the causes..."

"That sounds VERY circular...but humor me for a moment..."

"If a person blows smoke all of his or her life...they will ultimately end up breathing smoke!"

"If a person acts selfishly...they will end up losing to selfishness..."

"If a person lives by the sword...they will die by the sword..."

"A person always reaps what they sow..."

"That is however...unless that reason for their actions (causes) were selfless or for truly good reasons...then others will intervene between the Effect and Impact..."

"This does not happen as often as it should..."

"Nature has a way of showing frauds and selfishness for what it is..."

"There is always some bad cook in the equation that rises to the occasion and spoils the banquet..."

"The person that claims to be a fighter...ends up the loser..."

"The person who claims to be the smartest...ends up the fool..."

"The world promises that...and it ALWAYS fulfills its promises...you can bank on that!"

"The only thing that people like that can do...is delay the time between effect and impact...but it will happen..."

"That is where I believe the concept of karma came from...I believe...the astute people saw this consistently happening and because of their religious bias...explained it as some spiritual concept...rather than for what it is...just a blend of the natural world and humans..."

"It is an immutable law...ultimately on every level of the human experience..."

"Knowing this...makes me ever cognizant of my motivations behind my decisions and behaviors and my actions...are they well meaning?...or selfish?...are they selfless?...or...I guess I could go on forever..."

"Are you trying to tell me something about me?"

"Why are we talking about this?"

"I am trying to understand your intent behind this discussion..." I laughed...

"Let's go see that marathon man..." he replied..."I want to watch where this goes...I think you'll see that the root of this problem is karma!"

"I thought you didn't believe in that...!" I chided, "His office is just down the hall..."

Enough Said...for today...(to be continued)

Passion and Capability...

2010-02-03T06:14:00.000-08:00

I had just taken on a new challenge...and it was a bit scary!

From the initial data and insights that I could gather...the current situation is so much better than it used to be that everyone is VERY happy...

Everyone...that is...but the customers!

The "hype" around the internal success of the department's efforts was so intense...that the leadership forgot to ask the customers if they were any happier!

I was on a relentless pursuit of answers to looming issues...and pushed my data gathering efforts into the sphere of socialization...it was time to "socialize" with the group leader...

As I stood at the door of his office he was reaching into a desk drawer...he pulled out a HUGE bottle of "over the counter" pain medicine...effortlessly twisted his way past the child-proof lid...removed 4 tablets and swallowed them in a practiced way!

"Come on in and sit down." he invited...

"I run marathons...ran one this weekend...it always takes me a few days to recover...I really push the limits...I have been doing this for 20 years!" came his explanation for the pills...

"How did you do?" I asked...

"I was smack dab in the middle of the runners...Half of the runners were better and half worse...best race that I have ever ran...in your terms...I was at the top of the bell curve!"

"Interesting...congratulations" I replied..."I know that your time is precious...and you didn't invite me here to talk about marathons...but our problem..."

"He broke into my gracious "let's shift gears to the problem at hand" tactic...

"I don't understand what all of the fuss is about...there really isn't a problem...it is all hype meant to divert attention from the great improvements that I have made...it's all political...but I'll help you in any way that I can..."

"You know that my work has flipped the proverbial "80/20" on end! It used to be 80% defective and 20% effective...now it is 80% effective and 20% defective! That is something that should be lauded...not criticized...heck it took me 2 years to get it this way...they do not appreciate what I did!"

"We are doing as well as the company that they hired me away from...sure there are other companies that do ...what we do better...but they charge 5% more for that guarantee of perfection..."

"This company expects too much...all they worry about are the customers that they are losing...AND"

"Our customers demand too much...they whine too much...they need to be a bit more understanding..."

"There are a ton of customers to replace the one or two that we lose..."
"I wish they would ask me what I think rather than tell me what to do..."

Then without taking a breath...he shifted gears so fast...it nearly knocked me out of my chair...

"Marathons are interesting races...they are getting faster and faster...the time I got this weekend was exactly the same as the winning time was...20 years ago!"

"When I first started running marathons, I used exactly the same conditioning regime as the top race runners...and have been doing that ever since...look where it has got me!"

"How many people ran this weekend?"

"...over 500"

"That is absolutely amazing...over 250 people ran faster than the winning time from 20 years ago!"

"I guess you could say that!"

"I wonder if they used the same conditioning regime as you did?"

He didn't answer...and just looked at me with a nearly blank look...

"How many people won?"

"Just one...the race...but we marathon'ers are rare and unique...we have our own way of looking at things...we say that everyone won in their own right..."

"...or their in own mind," I added, "...but how many won by the rules of the race and the criteria of the judges?"

"Just one...everyone else lost..." he defensively responded...

"I bet you can see that I am really passionate about marathon running...it sets me apart from the rest of the world...there are many more people who can't run a marathon..."

"That's really interesting...Are you passionate about marathon running and the race itself or are you passionate about some false sense of superiority that running in one gives you so that you can laud it in front of others who do not run""

"...Do you know that those same people that you are trying to impress may be snickering behind your back for killing yourself just to lose?"

"If you are passionate about the race...then you must set your sights at winning...if you have ever said...only X% of the world runs in marathons...look at me...you are running for the wrong reason...you are doing it to put others down...and that is the sign of a MAJOR character flaw..."

"In terms of the race...you should be saying look at me...This time, I was among the group of losers! Next race I am going to stand alone on the podium...and then you work to achieve that!"

If the reason that you run was based upon the "look at me" sense...you should be saying...look at me...I ran another marathon so that I can feel superior to you and make you feel less of yourself because you do not do that! Aren't I great?" and then question whether that builds a person up or takes them down...

"Well...have you ever run in a marathon?" he taunted...

"Yes I have...and I won...the Athens to Marathon race in Wisconsin a few years back"

"A full marathon?"

"Yes...like yours...right?"

"Mine was a half marathon..."

"That's not a marathon!" "Why would you say you are running a marathon?"

"OH!" he responded..."I just remembered that I have a lunch meeting...can we continue our discussion in 2 hours?"

With that he stood up and walked out of his office...

I sat for a minute, to write some notes...and he came back and said, "Silly me...this is my office...I have to grab my jacket!"

With that I walked out of his office and then thought that I should grab a bite to eat and reflect on this conversation...It was so strange!

As I left the building a familiar person was leaning on my car...and smiling like the "Cheshire Cat!"

"What are you doing here?" I asked

"Want to catch a bite to eat? I was just in the area and thought that I could maybe find you and see how you are doing!"

As we climbed into my car he snickered, "I see that you talked with the marathon runner!"

"Are you psychic?" I asked, "How did you know that?"

"He walked across the parking lot about 10 minutes before you came out, he was on the phone and was confirming that you won some race...and then he went on ranting how you demeaned him!"

"That's a bunch of BS!" I replied, "Demeaning...how could that be? It is his attitude that is killing this company...and..."

"Hold on there! Save the adrenaline for your next race!"

"I quit running those things...you know that..."
"I have a feeling that you are absolutely right...but that attitude that you have right now will only make this problem bigger!"

"I can see that he runs that race because he thinks it makes him more important...he covers that basic need with a bunch of pretty words about "self discipline" and goal setting" and "health" and "personal challenges" and he really desires to have something that he is good at...something that makes him feel better than everyone else...he lacks a mature sense of self-worth..."

"OK...so what?"

"This is an interesting part of the human psyche..."

"Many people qualify their performance by saying that they are "NORMAL.""

"Personally...I would not strive for normal or average...that goal is for people who are handicapped..."

"Normal people should set their goals and strive for the EXTRAORDINARY!"

T"he real challenge in one's life is achieving what you are capable of..."

"This isn't a question of striving to be normal...it is a question of capability..."

"What are you truly capable of?"
"People confuse those two concepts..."

"Capability has much to do with a person's passion...the two are tied inseparably together!

"If a person is capable...they become passionate...

"...and vice versa...if a person is passionate...they find a way to be capable..."

"That is...if it is for the right reasons! The world rewards the right passion and the right capability and ultimately punishes those who do the wrong things for the wrong reasons...those who are punished are seen as frauds!"

"I would bet that he is passionate about running HALF marathons because he can use that to put others below him...today he was called out and seen by you as a fraud! He has to defend himself now..."

"AND he is fearing that you'll also see him for a fraud in his department..."

"Is he?"

"I think so...but you have to give him...what do you call it? OH YEAH! A Way Out With Dignity...a WoWD..."

"He talked his way into the role he has...and he'll continue to talk and try to make what he has done into some great epic legend...my guess is that anything he claims is either a lie or stolen..."

"The bottom line is that he is trying to make normal performance an extraordinary feat...something it is not...it may mean that his extraordinary performance is normal at the stretch...that he struggles not to be a loser...or he is simply lazy..."

"In either case...shouldn't he be fired?"

"A good company would do that...but I do not think this one is capable of the right decision..."

"What did I do wrong then?"

"Absolutely nothing...you made him see himself...I know that you were not mean...you didn't do it to put him down...it is probably the first time in his life that he had to look at himself for who he really is..."

"Many people fear seeing themselves for what they really are...and they internalize a false image...and work hard to deceive themselves..."

"What is important...It is what you do with this...actually it is what he does with this situation that is going to matter..."

We stopped at a small restaurant and walked in...the place was crowded...

Sitting alone at a table for four was "the marathon man!"

As we waited for a table to clear...he walked over to the "runner" and introduced himself...and then motioned for me to come over to them...

"He said that we could join him...isn't that nice?"

We sat and I could feel the visual bullets ricocheting off of the table...

"So he tells me that you run marathons...wow that is quite a feat!"

"I wish I could run marathons....but these old bones are not up to it!"

"But....you have..." I tried to add...but he wouldn't let me...

"It's really half-marathons that I run..." the marathon runner corrected...
Then "Mr. Runner" reached into his pocket and pulled out 4 more tablets and downed them...

"When you are recovering from your races...how many of those pills do you take each day?"

"My doctor says I can take up to 12," he answered...

"You must really push yourself in those races..."

"Just like you do with that department..."

"You got that right..."

"How's production going?"

"We are still about 20% defective...but that's s OK..."

"Let's put what your department does in terms of the drug company that produces your anti-inflammatories..."

"With what your department is doing right now...if the drug company did the same...three of the pills you take today could be ineffective...or downright poison...for me that is a sobering thought..."

"That is a sobering thought...but what we do doesn't have the potential of physically hurting people..."

"Not in a physical sense...but it does hurt people..."

"I guess that you are right"

His normal pace of eating was slow and deliberate...this time it seemed that he inhaled...then he looked at his watch and announced that he had to leave...and asked if he could use my car...that is...if marathon runner would take me back to work...
Marathon runner somewhat apprehensively agreed and I gave him my keys...and bid him adieu...

At that moment, I understood the meaning of DEAD SILENCE...

(To be continued next week)

What Next?

2010-01-27T08:39:00.000-08:00

I was always in awe of him...sometimes for his brilliance...sometimes for how normal he was...

As our time together progressed, I seriously set my sights to being "half the man" that he was...I believed that this was an admirable goal...

He once confided that his goal for me was to make me twice the man he wanted to be...

"My job is a lot easier than yours...you are simply too naive to know better..."

I think that he meant that as a compliment...or at least I hoped that to be the case!

He had been hardened and narrowed by experience...he recognized that...

"Wisdom often plays cruel tricks on a person...and limits potential...for the sake of safety..."

"When you are old and wise...do not let it do that to you...better yet...never get old and wise...it is the beginning of the end..."

It was a “child-like enthusiasm for life's offerings” that truly set him apart from the regular world. I could see however that this trait was not natural, but a decision, like many of his other characteristics.

"You are never handed a perfectly balanced pallet to paint your picture with..." he would advise, "The colors that wait and those you finally use to paint your masterpiece are solely your decision...the neat thing about life is that it always puts the primary colors down for you, in sufficient quantity, that you can blend them into any color you want..."

That insight into the human condition always inspired me...and this was one of those "words of wisdom" that he repeated often. I never grew tired of listening to him say it...it was memorized from some sacred text...

He could repeat those words verbatim...and at one point...I repeated them with him as he said it...

I often think that he made repetition a mentoring tool...it ensured that I got the message and got it correctly!

Sometimes he would start saying something that I heard before...and I would cut him short with..."I know...I know...(then what ever he was saying)..."

That only egged him on!

I knew that if I said those two words..."I know"...the next few weeks...I would hear that axiom endlessly...

He repeated whatever it was...until the "I know" barrier tumbled and I got the real message, fully...

As frustrating as it was...it was what I often needed...and it was for him too!

He told stories endlessly...sharing the joys and pains, the fears and victories...and losses...

Every lesson that he wanted to give...had a dozen of his life experiences attached...some of the linkages were stretches...but if you looked hard enough...they were there and VERY strong...

"Mankind has lost something, for the most part, that will ultimately lead to a slowing of our development as a species..."

"...Story Sharing..."

"The thing that sets you apart from most of the people that I meet is that you take time to listen to the stories...really listen! That means a lot to me..."

His voice faded into the background of the moment, as I thought about that comment...

My grandparent’s house was an old farm house...they were dairy farmers at one time...and the farm was awesome...an old two-story log house (the original homestead) still stood...the barn was huge...a granary...tractor sheds...garages...a huge chicken coop...pump houses...it had it all!

The house sent a subtle message itself...

The central room and the largest was the dining room...

Vying for second largest was the kitchen...it had 2 stoves, 2 refrigerators, a chest freezer and more than enough room for everyone to lend a hand in cooking...

You had to go through the dining to get any place else in the house...

Central to the house and to that generation was eating...more important than that was the message that was shared by the size of the room...it was not small...it invited everyone to share in the bounty of the harvest...or the meager left-overs...everyone was welcome...no one had to ask to join ...there was always room for a few more...

That feature alone made a huge impression on me...it was warm, inviting, and always smelled of wonderful delicacies...from early in the morning to well past bed time!

On the opposite end of the house was the living room...a parlor...it had a TV...and couches and “grandpa’s chair...”

Being lower on the "family alpha-scale”...we never got the choice of what TV show we watched...

At first out of boredom...and later because this was just what we did...we would retreat to the dining room and sit at the table and eat some of grandma's cookies or sweet rolls...or whatever was at the table...

In that room was the "older generation." They sat around the table and talked and shared stories...farming stories, hunting stories, fishing stories, lumber-jack stories, the last trip to town stories...how they addressed some challenge and what they learned...it was awesome!

I looked forward to every visit...for the food AND the stories...

I can recall nearly every one of them...they were not just their stories...they became my stories!

The conversations were so fun to listen to...one would talk and the entire group became and audience who would intently and patiently listen...then contribute, at their appointed turn...some of the stories were entertaining...and...some were sad...they elicited many emotions...and made differences in the lives of everyone who shared in the food, coffee and words...

This was important to that generation...it was their way and a part of them...and the house even sent that message...

My grandparents and the house said,"PLEASE...come in...If you have bounty...bring it in...And share it with us...if times are hard and you don't...come in and we'll share what we have...there is more than enough for everyone...sit...get comfortable...it is safe and warm here...what is ours is also yours..."

There were times that I even got bold enough to add to the conversations...and the adults would quietly listen...sometimes one or two would wink at my mother or father...and then add their wisdom to my contribution...it made me feel really a part of the people...

"...What people miss is the wisdom that is shared in story telling...when it is shared...it is no longer just my story...it becomes our story..."

His words...momentarily brought me back to the conversation at hand...

The stories from each one who shared...were well told...They elicited the most vivid mental images...I felt as if I were there...their stories were my stories...and I learned so much from them...without the pain...or the lost finger...or the frost-bite...I learned what not to do...and I learned what to do...their experience became my experience...Their wisdom became my wisdom...

Many if not most of those story-tellers are gone...but their lives continue, in my memories and my wisdom...what little I have...

"...This generation will have to wait much longer for "wisdom" to take hold...because they refuse to sit long enough to listen to the stories...they are going to have to experience those things for themselves...in fact they are going to miss many experiences...How sad..."

"That is why wisdom has become an endangered species!"

"When you choose people to mentor...look for those who sponge up the stories...don't waste your time on impatient people..."

"I do not know what makes some people patient enough to sit and listen and others not..."

"I do!'" I replied...let me tell you a story..."

Setting Course...

2010-01-20T07:00:00.000-08:00

I rose early...

We had a huge challenge ahead of us...and the high-point of this challenge was that they assigned us to attack it together...

I dressed and ate...and walked to the beach...

...It had called to me while I stood on tiny terrace...

...I wanted to watch the sunrise...

...and contemplate the coming week's activities...

As the firey edge of the sun just topped the horizon...I could begin to make out the shape of a large ship...

...it was a huge Tanker...

Then I could see a "school" of small Tugs (by comparison) scurrying out to meet "the arrival..."

It was absolutely quiet...except for the rythmic waves...and they too were rather subdued...

Instead of thinking about work...my mind totally blanked and I was simply caught up in the moment...

It was a wonderful experience...the slight ocean odors...the development of the brilliant orange ball...moving to yellow and sitting momentarliy precariously on the horizon...

The routine "shipping drama" playing 5 miles out...

I was there...but I was not...it is impossible to explain...so I will go no further...

"I knew that I would find you here!" he said with almost a whisper...

"I see you are deep in the moment and I definitely do not want to startle you back...to this reality!"

"In this brief moment I realized something about you...you are a "water person" I can see it...you are different..."

"Although we live in the midwest...I can see that your place in life is next to water...some people are forest dwellers...others love mountains...and so on..."

"...You become almost transparent as you stand here...almost like the water...it pulls you in...and embraces you...when you are standing here...you get taken in...I do not see that happen to many people..."

"I do love the ocean," I replied...

"Don't ever get too far from it my friend...if you do...you'll lose a BIG part of you...it would be like losing your best friend..."

"Look out at those ships," I said as I pointed eastward...

"There is a little drama playing out...on this magnificant stage...that most people are missing...

...I love the plot...the captain of that tanker has been up all night...getting to that place...and the tug-captains rose early in anticipation of its arrival...and now the time has come for their paths to really cross..."

"Theirs paths are intersecting...I wonder why they are going out there so far from port..."

"I was watching them from my terrace too...but I know from my experience that they are simply guiding the ship in..."

"That is a long way out...to be doing that...isn't it?"

"Not really...it takes a long time to turn a ship of that size and then get it back into control..."

"When you turn a ship like that...the turn itself is not controlled for a long time...it over-shoots...and must be pulled back...and it over-shoots in the compenstation...and that must be controlled...its path has many zigs and zags...but I know that those captains and their crews know this and by the time they get to port...the zig will be perfectly timed"

"The combination of our plans and our experience should be doing exactly the same..."

"We delude ourselves into believing that we are following a straight path"

"When...in actuality...our lives ocillate...and we get frustrated in the required compensations...and never consider that this minor course change is a part of the real path..."

"...As a result...we give-up or quit..."

"Ever wonder why those little boats are called TUGS?"

"...The perfect path is accomplished in little tugs..."

"We should all learn that lesson..."

"Do you know why four tugs are going out there?"

"Because it is a BIG ship and it needs all of the help it can get?" I responded...

"Nope! That ship only needs two tugs...one on the port and one on the starboard..."

"The other two are there for the tugs!"

"They do not want to fail...if one tug has problems...there is a stand-in and the other one is there to pull the disabled tug back to port..."

"That is a bit of over-kill, isn't it?"

"Not when you consider the cargo...failure is not an option...and there is no chance for catching up..."

"That is interesting...I would have never thought of that!" I quietly exclaimed

"When I think of it...people are like that...they are either tugs or freighters or tankers...aren't they?"

"You are half right...during the course of our lives...we are with tugs or frieghters...very few people go through their entire life as either one or the other..."

"Sometimes we are the tugs that play the role of turning and guiding the larger ships into port...other times we are the ship that needs to be guided..."

"If the tanker captain...did not realize that...he would not turn over command and guidence to the tug captains...and they would have a major set of issues..."

"The tanker captain plays a significant role when the tug captains release him from the departing port...until he arrives at the port of call...egos can be REALLY disasterous if the roles are not followed..."

"People need to function the same...it is all about recognizing your role...and taking command when that is called for and abdicating when that is required..."

"Life is no more complex than that!"

"Are we going to be tugs this week...or freighters?" I asked...

"I was thinking the about same thing..."

"We were asked to help this company...so my first impression is that we were asked to be tugs..."

"But then as I thought deeper...we are carrying a cargo of information and experience...that needs to be off loaded at this port..."

"I guess that I do not have the answer you are looking for...What do you think?"

"I was thinking tugs, then I was thinking freighter...then I was thinking that we are both...depending on any given circumstance that we encounter..."

"What I am seeing as important is to be flexible to the needs of the "other captains" and not fall victim to their egos...or their desire to run this BIG ship from port to port...it is not possible...it takes coordinated efforts and everyone playing their role at the appropriate time..."

"There will be times that we are not tugs or freighters at all but the rescue ship that stands by...just in case a ship breaks down...one of us jumps in...and the other tows the disabled tug to safety!"

"Then you will have one role...and I another..."

"Then it appears that we have a plan and a good one at that...and a good one at that...and..."

"That seems to put closure on the reason that you were standing here..."

"We have a couple of hours...before they are expecting us...their ship is still over the horizon...let's enjoy the calm seas...I have a feeling that we are going to be tested this week...a perfect storm may be brewing...but there is noone else that I would rather be sailing headlong into this storm with than you my young friend!"

With that he stopped talking...and sat...I joined him...we said nothing to eachother for over an hour...there was no need to...he had his ship and I trusted his every move...and he mine...

The Real Meaning of Setting Your PACE...

2010-01-13T07:19:00.000-08:00

He makes work...look like "child's play."

He makes "child's-play" look like work...

As I reflect on what makes him different from most other people is that his personality is light...but it is also serious...

In reality, he is the most serious performer that you'll probably ever meet...yet if you just take him superficially...you'd never know it...most think he is a clown...a REALLY smart clown...

Everything is a challenge and a game to him...he never let's you see that he is worried...when he is worried...

...he never let's you know that the challenge is a "piece of cake..."

...or that a seemingly simple task is impossible...

My advice is never play poker with him...I did once...and will not again...

When he takes action...it always looks easy...and it goes exactly as he had planned...

Try to "out-work" him and you'll find yourself at the losing end of that challenge...

When I think about him...I have to say that he found his "work-life balance..."

That elusive creature (or organizational policy) in which companies demand that employees seek but they secretly hope that all are insubordinate of...

I loved his stance on that policy...

"The only time that I have witnessed a company terminate someone for an improper work-life balance was when it was skewed toward "life"," he would snicker...(that comment came up whenever we got a Work-life balance brochure or walked by a "FIND YOUR BALANCE" poster)...

"This is a policy that should be challenged in courts...if you tip your work-life towards the work side of the balance...you are lauded...take a little extra time off and you are on "final" notice...

...they (HR) use the word "balance"...and they have no idea what "balance" really means...Either most HR people have no idea what "a policy" is really about...

...or they are really smart and are using the "balance policy" as an HR morphine...something used to deaden the reality of what they truly want out of a person for work and protect them in a court...

...they should hold true to the word "balance"... That is the operative word...If they say it...they need to enforce both sides of the equation...their finance counter-parts do that with the books...if you cannot get the income you need...then cut the expense side...have you ever wondered why it is called a "balance sheet"

...and if they are not willing to stick to the other extreme...don't treat us like fools...

...If I had time...I would set them up...just to watch them squirm!"

I never found out why that policy set him off...it really didn't matter...He never formally challenged it or set them up...it was not in his nature...but he sure did bring up the stupidity of that policy at every chance...and because of his persistence...the company dropped promoting the "hypocritical" "balance" policy...

Enough of that...but it helps paint this picture...

The truth of the matter was that he was multi-faceted...

From one perspective...his life looked like all work...

From another perspective his work looked like all life (fun)...

It wasn't like some people claim...that when they are working...they work and when they are away from work they play...his position was that work and life are never fully detached from eachother...

When he was at work he played and when he was at play he worked...

AND that was not always the case either...

I could not say that it was a "zen" balance either...

It was simply an enigma...

Enough of that...I do not dwell on puzzles that have no solution...

The reason that I was pondering this characteristic of his...was that "my stars" had aligned and everything was in motion...I had absolutely nothing to do for the upcoming 2 weeks...my intervention in any of the paths...would have slowed them...so it was time for me to sit back and emphasize "life!"

I was proud of myself...I scheduled time off...I created a plan...went to bed early...and totally ignored any thoughts about what was going on at work...I was out...and was going to focus on "life..."

I found my balance...or so I thought...

I rose early...with a relaxed energy...

Ate and just as I finished cleaning up after myself...

He and his smile were at my door!

In his right hand was a stack of paper...

After his usual greeting he announced, "We've got work to do my friend..."

"But..." I knew that arguing with him was useless...so I stopped in mid-sentence...

The ink on my mental "to-do" list was "rained on" by his enthusiasm...and was no longer mentally legible.

"What do you have in mind?" I asked

"What were you going to do?" He responded

"I took a couple of days off to catch up on the things around here...and just enjoy life..."

"I heard that you were taking a week...so I did too...so I could work on the stuff I love working on," he replied...

You are always doing the things you love doing...so what's the difference?

"Between me and you...or what I do and what you do?" he snickered...

He saw that I was not amused by his humor...and quickly change gears!

"...I want you to learn a cool thing...PACE..."

"Like pacing yourself?" I asked...

"Kind of..." he smiled...and then without asking...he entered the house...sat at the kitchen table and took the "mentoring position..."

I knew that I was "in trouble." This was the kind of trouble that was fun though...and a diversion from the things I thought I should be doing...

"PACE..." he contemplated...

"...Practice..."
"...And..."
"...Concentrated..."
"...Effort..."

"That's the kind of "PACE" I am referring to..."

"The old saying..."In order to truly enjoy your life...you must learn to pace yourself..." is really true but the meaning of "pace" has to be understood in its true sense..."

"Many people believe that "pacing yourself" means slowing down so that you last...or conserving enegry...rationing whatever you are doing...but that is a bad strategy if you intend not only to win the race...and when you are out to set a record that can not be beat..."

"True pacing means setting a rate that allows you to achieve your goals..."

"There is a huge difference between..."

"...Running a marathon..."
"...Finishing a marathon..."
"...Winning a marathon..."
"...and..."
"...Setting a new record book time in the marathon..."

"Did you notice that as we progressed through each of those situations...they included the previous ones...for example...you can not "Win a marathon" if you do not "Finish a marathon" and you can not do that if you do not begin "running a marathon..."

"If a marathon is really worth running...then it is worth finishing...and if that...then it is worth winning...and if it is worth winning...then setting a new record is the goal to be strived for..."

"...Work is like that..."
"...Life is like that..."
"...Play is like that..."

"There are two important aspects of everything that we do..."

"1 - What we want to do...and..."

"2 - What the goal of what we want to do is..."

"Choose what you want to do...then set your goals and Practice and Concentrated Effort needs to kick in..."

"This allows you to wring every drop of enjoyment from every activity..."

"But what a talented person must realize is that there is no such thing as an ultimate goal..."

"Every goal is interim..."

"The achievement of each goal is simply a stepping stone to the next level..."

"I want to run in a marathon...done..."

"I want to finish the marathon...done..."

"I want to win a marathon...done..."

"I want to set a new marathon record...done..."

"...and so on..."

"A person may say...I am not a marathon runner...then my advice is...don't run marathons!"

"Find what you can do well and do more of it...That is what finding and connecting with your passion is all about...someday people will be out selling this "magic formula!" Passion will become the buzz-word...mark my words...

I did mark his words...and as predicted...he was right!

"...Doing something that you really can not do...or do not want to do...or that your have no passion to do...will only lead to sub-standard performance and broken dreams..."

"...Achieve your dreams...one step at a time..."

"...Patience and pace..."

"...That is the secret of work-life balance..."

"...So let's see that list of yours..."

"...It was simply a mental list," I explained...

"...Then the first thing that you need to do is make it substantial..."

"...If you are not singly directed...then you need to write your goals out..."

"...Mental lists...no matter how short...can be "washed out" by the simpliest and most menial things..."

"Like a knock on the door and a smile?" I asked

"What?" he responded...

"Never mind," I replied with a smirk, "It's and inside joke with only me..."

"Not to shift the subject...But...What's on the paper?" I asked...

"Nothing...it's all blank...when I got into the car this morning...it was sitting on my passenger seat...and I thought maybe you knew why I had it!" he answered...

So you are taking your stack of blank papers on a walk? You have not let go of them since you got here...

"You taught me an important lesson that I made part of my being...that if I pick up a piece of paper...I do not let go of it until it is decisioned..." Even though these are blank...I can not think of why I would have them and I will not let go of them until I figure out why...and make a decision..."

That is quite a compliment coming from you...but haven't you taken that to an extreme?

"Not at all...if something is worth adding to your being...it should be done fully...this is one of those things..."

"You have many good things to share with others...beyond what I have taught you! I want you to see that I listen to you also!"

"That is quite a compliment coming from you! But let's drop the paper LITERALLY and talk a bit more about "balance" before I get back to what I originally set out to do..."

"I do not think that we have to talk any further about "balance." You just showed me that you fully understand the meaning of it..."

For a moment...I was puzzled...then I realized that my stopping what I had planned...in order to talk with him...was one of the key characteristics...a balance on life-side of the equation...proof that I saw that it was dynamic...and not scheduled...it is focused and not focused at the same time! It is all about adjusting to the ever changing demands of work and life and never flinching...it is about focusing on the needs at hand...finishing what is at task...enjoying that moment and moving to the next...

All that said...by saying nothing!

Then he broke into my thoughts...

"Would you mind if I just set the papers here on the table? I can not think of why I would have put 321 pieces of blank paper in my car...I must be getting senile..."

"I do not mind at all...as long as you remember to take them with you when you leave...you'll remember sometime...and you do not want to be without them when that happens..."

"Let's use a piece to make my list of things that I am going to do...if someting more important does not come up...I do not think 1 piece will matter..."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that I put them there...to see what would happen!

Making your Mark...

2010-01-06T05:05:00.000-08:00

I think that he could see that I was frustrated with my progress...not in my personal progress...but in the progress of the organization's recognition of me...or perhaps it was how and for what they recognized in me...

Perhaps...it was what I thought they saw me as...

I will never know for sure...but the fact was...I was not happy...

I felt like another obscure cog in the machine...

I was doing things that, from my perspective, were amazing...

...but ,I was not moving within the corporation as quickly as the mainstream "under-performers..."

All of my emotions aside...I could walk circles around every one of them...that bothered me...

...Not that I could easily out do them if I tried...(that was child's play)...it was that they were reaping benefits for mediocre performance...and mine...meager at best...

As the days and months passed...my frustration grew...

All of the feedback that I received from my "360s" used unsolicited words like "made his mark..." or "created legends" or "unmatched performance..." or "exceeded my expectations 10 fold..." or significant value-added in everything he does..."

If I went by feedback alone, I could conclude that I made "my mark" and created "an image" for myself that differentiated me from the rest...but I was not feeling the rewards that I expected...

...the ones that I thought I would get through the achievement of those "great and wonderful things"...

Therein was the source of my frustration!

My feelings were coming to a head...I had decided that I needed to make a decision...

That is when I found myself sitting in his living room...after dinner...being joined by someone who knew him better than I!

She had been with him for ever...the last time we met was, on foreign soil, at his cottage and villa...to celebrate his birthday!

It was apparent from the first meeting that she was a dedicated and loyal individual...

...I think that he missed her...

or perhaps his "remote home"...was getting unmanageably filthy and he needed her to add her touches to it!

At this meeting, I could see that she missed him too!

Being together renewed the spirits in both of them...

In repayment for her loyalty and dedication...he took care of her needs...and often showered her with amazing gifts...

He invited her to come to America and live with him for a few months and she immediately took the offer...reminding him that she would only stay for as long as her visa allowed...then with a sly smile said that after that...he had to come home and live...

She knew better than that...but she pulled his chain as hard as he did hers...

After dining with him...I put on my analytical hat and postulated that the main reason for his bringing her over was her cooking...it was amazing and entirely homemade...

She found farm markets and fresh food that I never knew existed...nothing was pre-processed or frozen or canned! She could easily start a restaurant and retire rich...but that was not what she wanted...

We retreated to his den and simply sat in a "food coma"...after a while...she entered the room with a decanter of "his favorite" and an ice bucket and 2 glasses...I believe that half of her luggage contained many bottles of his rum...wrapped in her clothing for safe transport!

That was how she took care of him...

On this visit he returned the favor by buying her Americanized clothes...and a car...

Her presence ...kept him busy...and a bit distracted from the mundane world of our organization...

He constantly complained about her...but the complaints were more spurred on by happiness than inconvenience...when he would start complaining I would always tell him that he was not happy unless he was miserable...and that I was so glad to see him so miserable...

All in all...she had made a mark in his life...and he in hers...

She raised him...because his mother and father were always busy...or gone...in one way or another...

I guessed that as a child, he was a challenge...

From the stories they told...she was barely 12 years old...when she took over his rearing...

...he was an infant...

She was the daughter of the family that resided on the estate...in his cottage...

Her father the grounds keeper and her mother, the cook...

It was kind of like a fairy tale...a weird fairy tale...

She became his "nanny" and confident...there was no one else around to help...

Although the age difference was no more than a brother/sister apart...she was his mother...and he treated her that way...

They were seldom apart during his "developmental years..."

During the war...she protected him as well she could...

She was all he had...and she felt obligated (or so she said) and vice versa...

...or so he said...

"The war" had taken its toll on both families...

...from the sky...

They never knew if it was axis bombs or allied bombs...it was a daily occurence...one by one the family was torn apart, until it was just the two of them left to fend for themselves...

It wasn't long after that...he went to fight and she thought that she had lost him...

After two years, the war ended and he came triumphantly home...(as he put it)...15 years older and ready to make the supreme sacrifice...

He found that during his absence...she had fallen in love...but she refused to run from her commitment to him...

With a smile he recollected that this gave him the opportunity to "woo" the most beautiful and smartest woman in their village...

She helped him rebuild the estate...

...He gave her away at her wedding...

...and she gave him away at his wedding...

...they both out-lived their spouses...

from then to now...she watched over the estate...when he was gone

...and also when he was there...

And he watched over her...like a precious jewel...it was cute...

He would send her "trivial" daily updates on his escapes and excerpts from his journal...

She would return notes to him asking for permission and advice...

But he confided in me that he knew that her asking was simply a show...the decisions were already made by the time he received the letters...

He just laughed...and gave her his position...which was often the opposite of what he "knew" she decided...just to "make her squirm!"

A wonderful story...
I toasted a wonderful feast and commented on how I would find it impossible to stay trim if I had someone cooking like that for me everyday...

He winked at her and replied that his diet plan included staying away from home as much as possible so he would stay trim...

She winked at him and replied that the only reason for him staying away from paradise for so long was sitting in my chair...I laughed and blushed!

They laughed as if that interchange was conspired and then as if according to plan...she disappeared into the kitchen!

"I thought you needed a feast..." he said...

"You have not been yourself and I see it getting worse...now that you are done eating...what is eating at you?"

I knew that he had already figured out what was bothering me...but he wanted it confirmed and...

He also knew that if I verbalized it...that was the first step towards reconciling the situation in my mind...

"I am getting tired of working so hard...making huge strides and accomplishments and watching the losers, pass me up..."

He took his contemplative stance, a drink of his rum and looked at me...directly into my eyes...
"Could it be that you are running toward a different finish line...than the others and you are confusing the two?"

"Or could it be that you and them are running two entirely different races and you think these two races are the same?"

"I am in no mood for analogies today," I replied...

"Perhaps that mood is an indicator of your plight..." he said as if he set me up for that response

"Tell me...what have you set out to do?"

I replied almost automatically, "To create a unique personal brand...to differentiate myself from the crowd and make it a legend..."

"That legend will not be with words or hollow promises but by results...things of substance..."

"I intend to do that...by making significant and meaningful differences in the lives of individuals and the performance of organizations..."

"Are you doing that?" he asked

"Yes," I replied..."You know that I am..."

"Then I would have to say that...you are on track...Right?"

I began to open my mouth...and he said without breaking beat...

"Take a drink and listen to me!"

"While I listened to you...I did not hear anything about getting promoted along the way..."

"You know as well as I do...If that is important to you...then why is that not in your personal mission and goals?"

"If you tell me that it really is not important to you...then why are you letting that frustrate you?"

He paused for an eternity and I knew better than to reply...
"What it sounds like...is that you did not align one of your measures of success with your mission!"

"or that you are all set for success...and have just lost focus..."

I could see that he was choosing his words carefully and I respected his silence...
"Let me tell you a story that is often told..."

"...but almost everyone who tells it...is misusing it..."

"It is about Pablo Picasso...the Spanish Artist..."

"Many people have told me that I look like him...but that is another story for another day!"

"He is best known for his "cubist" art...and was often a target of critics who said that the reason he painted that way he did...was because he couldn't paint any other way..."

"He was a VERY proud man...and took that as a challenge..."

"He went "back to the norm" and painted some great realistic works..."

"...and when he thought that he had rectified himself...went back to his world of cubism..."

"Herein lies the problem...The misrepresentation that many use...was that he proved himself once and for all, to the world...that he could do what they could do...only better...then he went back to his "extreme" and lived in the cubist world happily ever after..."

"That is the furthest thing from the truth...

"I do not know if you know this...he not only painted...but he designed and sculpted...and worked in many art forms...he was and is a legend..."

"In truth...a few realistic paintings does not an artist make...and it does not change a reputation once and for all..."

"Many people make the mistake of striving to make their mark (going to the extreme) before they have firmly established themselves in the normal world...and as a result are easily rejected...or recognized as the legend...but not in the "normal" world...they become FREAKS..."

"Before you can create your style...or make you mark...or create a legend...you have to show the world that you can do whatever they want...on their terms...AND you have to do it OFTEN and in their terms"

"Pablo would have done himself better if he painted one out of every 10 paintings within the world's criteria...to maintain his presence and recognition as a normal artist..."

"You can not live in the world of the unique...if you do not have something of value to offer the world on their terms...otherwise...you are just a worthless freak of no value and in truth...they are right!"

"You can not live entirely on the extreme...if you try...that is only what the world will see you as..."

"You can not even tout talent on the extreme and think that the world will reward you within the criteria of the normal...they don't know how...you have to seek some level of normality"

"Don't deceive yourself into believing that you can be different on you own accord...you have to earn the right to do so..."

"Pablo, luckily, was recognized before his death...even he said that it was more luck than talent...what happened was that a large enough sector of people...by chance...saw his talent...it happens...but that situation is a rarity...never think that you'll be the next!"

I finished my last sip and said..."So what does that have to do with me?"

"You have made your mark...and I can tell you that no one can beat you!"

"You are a legend...and you'll do that...everywhere that you go...but be careful to spend the appropriate amount of time in the normal world...

"Do it often enough that you show the world that conforming to their standard is child's play for you...and that you can perform in their world too, as one of the best...DO NOT just give them mediocre performance...if you do...they'll have something to criticize you for...and they are right! They'll label you a freak and they'll be right!"

"If you try to stay in your world...they'll never know what to do with you...and you'll simply be a freak and a sideshow act...strictly for their entertainment! You'll never amount to anything there...Fame and fortune is made in the normal world...not on the extremes..."

"They'll want $1million from you and you'll give them $10million...

"They'll need $10million and you'll give them $100million..."

"I have seen it and that is just the way you work..."

"Don't think that you can live entirely in the world of legendary performance...legends either die alone...or they die a tragic death!"

"That is an interesting story...I have to think through that..."

"I can say...that the truth has already hit me pretty hard!"

"You are right...before you can make your mark on the outside of the world...before you create a style...you have to make a mark in the middle...and you have to continue to prove yourself there..."

"A person can not realistically believe that it is always OK to be different...before you earn the right to be different...you have to prove yourself in the normal world...do something that they can not do...and earn respect...just being different does not earn respect...it just makes you a freak..."

So your advice is that a person doesn't live on that extreme, without checking in the real world on a regular basis and reconfirming sanity!"

"I can tell you that early on in my life that this exact same conversation was shared with me...when I came home from school crying..."

"I thought it was OK to be different...so I worked to make my mark...but I forgot that I had to earn the right to be different"

"That conversation changed my life...and the way that I did things..."

For a moment I wondered who told him that...for all I knew, it was Picasso himself?

...then I turned and looked in the doorway that leads to the kitchen...

She was standing there and I saw her smiling...a real proud smile...

...that is when I realized...

...that the letters back and forth were probably more than the bantering between two old people...

...that her visit was not just for his sake...AND...

...who else had a hand in my mentoring...

A New Year's Challenge...

2009-12-30T19:03:00.000-08:00

One thing about my relationship with my mentor was that it was in no way superficial...

Although I was the one with psychological training...almost every time we were together...it felt like a psych-session...he being the analyst...and me in the chair!

Although this was the case, in a majority of the times that we spent together...the cool thing was sometimes the tides turned and I was the analyst...and he was the patient...but no matter what role we played...I walked away a better person for having been with him...

How many people can you say that of?

We always dug deep into meanings and touched on things that many times were our greatest fears!

Today it was to be no different...even though I didn't know it...

We stopped at his favorite place...after a hard day of work...having agreed that we both deserved it...

He liked this place because the it was a bar...and a living room...and a restaurant...

It had couches and easy chairs...in private corners...and tables and great service and interesting people...

He had his favorite place and "the establishment's regulars" respected his territory...to the extent that they would move for him or if it were a crowded night...invite him to join them...

I often thought that the courtesy that was afforded him, was because no matter who was there...he joined them and talked deep talk and treated them special...he was an icon...he never drove them away...sometimes they left...his immediate presence...

...But they actually never traveled beyond "earshot"...and often listened to him...without having their own position challenged...

...if I got up and went to the restroom...the conversations in the other huddles were often on the same theme as what he was talking about...

Coincidence? I think not!

This stop...we found our area was open and sat in our regular places...and without saying a word...got our drinks...

He was seldom charged for them...which was a great benefit!

He spent enough money there and tipped well enough that he would have been better off if they charged him...

We just sipped our drinks and sat quiet...until he broke the "silence."

"I abhor bullies," he said out of the blue...

"I have been working with a bully at work...today I saw that everyone was afraid...that just sucks...so...I have a question for you..."

"I was wondering...How do you handle bullies?"

"That is an interesting question," I replied..."I have been handling bullies the same way...since I was 7 years old...thanks to advice given to me by my dad!"

"There was this kid...I can not even remember his name...who was about 3 years older than me...and he picked on the little kids at school..."

"For a long time...he picked on everyone else...and didn't notice me...which, I admit was a relief to me..."

"...then one day he began making my life hell...and I rued going to school..."

"I told my dad about him and dad puffed on his cigarette and told me that most bullies have no more power than that smoke...in fact like that smoke...they have nothing solid...and they just stink..."

"...and if you stand up to them (and he waved his hand through the smoke) they'll run like the little sissies that they pick on...just be ready to do what you have to do when you make your stand...that will be what differentiates you from the bullies...as long as you do not do what you do for self-serving reasons..."

"I heard the first part and didn't understand what he meant in the second...at least for the time being..."

"Let me remind you...that was a different day and age...I have to say...I was excited to go back to school and stand up to him!"

"AND like clock-work...he found me at noon recess...my routine...45 minutes of hell!"

"Just like he did every day, for the prior 2 months...he walked up to me, but this time I stood my ground...that shocked him and that simple difference changed his demeanor...to be honest with you...I could see a bit of fear in his eyes...and that gave me the spark of confidence that I needed..."

"He threatened me...and tried to pick on me...and he hit me a couple of times...really hard...and I didn't back down...I could see his fear turn into terror...and he started to back down..."

"I stood my ground...and made my move..."

"A crowd of kids gathered..."

"At first he tried to run...but he saw his classmates, tried to recoup his title of class bully and turned...then he walked directly up to me and threatened to punch me..."

"I didn't let him say another thing and told him enough was enough...and showed him immediately what I meant by "enough was enough"...I didn't stop until he fully understood what "enough is enough" really meant and was crying and totally humiliated..."

"As he laid there in a whimpering heap...I took his shoes and made him beg for them back...just like he did to many of the kids he picked on...he sobbed like a little baby and the kids in the schoolyard laughed and taunted him...even his "friends!"

"I remembered that it looked like a bunch of jackals attacking one of their own!"

"What I didn't realize what that event meant to him and to me..."

"It ruined his reputation as a bully and he never recovered..."

"He became a "whimpy little lamb" from that day forward...his position among his "friends" went from the top to the bottom..."

"I became a second grade "super hero!""

"It would have been good if I let it go from there...but I over the course of the next few months...I pushed him for my amusement and that of my friends! Until I learned that I too had become a bully...let's save that discussion is for another day..."

"And my dad was right...99% of the world's bullies are nothing but smoke! Stand up to them and they back down..."

"And my dad was right...there is that 1% who...when you make the stand...you have to be ready to make good on your promises!"

"While playing the role of school "super-hero" I challenged the 99% and I met the 1% too!"

"While in that role...I learned to choose my battles wisely! I always asked myself...is it worth it...?"

"The important lessons that I learned is that a person needs to be ready to stand up...if you're a bully...then you have to make good on your threats...if you are a super hero...you have to be ready to stand on your promises!"

"I would be a lot better looking if I had learned that lesson quicker...I laughed!"

"You know...perhaps I never left the role of super-hero...I still am an advocate...I too can not stand for bullies..."

"So...you stand up to bullies when the value of the stand exceeds the value related to walking away...that is a hard decision...but I can understand it..." he reflected...

"It also made me keenly aware of the words I use..." I added...

"Most words...from most people...have become hollow and meaningless...people who are true to their words are rare..."

"An interesting observation is that a person's integrity is inversely related to the count of their excuses"

"When people learn that you do what you say...the frequency of stands against bullies become few and far between..."

That is when "your reputation preceeds you" becomes important...

"That is what character and integrity is all about..."

"It is when you make a promise and ensure that the promise is fulfilled..."

"It is declaring a resolution and sticking with it..."

"It is recognizing that a broken promise or broken resolution is nothing more than a lie with and excuse attached to it!"

"The ability to take a stand can not be misused...it should only used when it is of value to others...never for personal benefit..."

"Because if you use it for personal gain...you become a bully..."

I thought that this would be the beginning of a great conversation, but it lead nowhere...

He smiled...and nodded and began sipping his drink again!

Halfway through the "third round" he talked again!

"Look around..."

"Everyone in this place...in one way or another is preparing for the New Year..."

"You know what they do not realize?"

"The New Year is a bully!"

"I didn't realize this about the New Year, until you started telling your story..."

"When I think about it...the New Year makes people say things that they know they'll never follow through on..."

"The New Year makes people do things they do not want to do...and act in ways they do not want to act..."

"The New Year pushes people around...like a bully..."

"It disguises its bullying...as a challenge..."

"The New Year challenge..."

"It almost feels like we have a decision to make..."

"Are we going to let the New Year challenge us?"

"Are we going to let the New Year Bully us?"

"Is the New Year going to be a challenge...like a bully?...or..."

"Are we going to take a stand against the New Year and challenge the New Year?"

"...like standing up to a bully..."

"Now comes our next challenging thought..."

"Is the New Year part of the 99% or the 1%?"

"Will it back down...when we stand up to it?"

"Do you want to know what I think?"

I tried to talk but he never took a breath...

"In my experience the New Year will turn and run...in fact it will give you everything you ask of it...as long as you do not push it around for your own benefit..."

I was way too awed to add anything...

He made perfect sense...his parallel was astute...

"The New Year is a bully..."

"Every year...people are challenged by what the new year threatens..."

"This year...I will challenge the year rather than be challenged by it!"

With that...he jumped totally out of character and in fact...he jumped up on an end table and the crowd noticed and totally hushed...

He said, "I have an annoucement to make...the New Year is a bully..."

"Are you going to let it push you around and be challenged by it or..."

"Are you going to stand up to it and challenge it?"

"When you make this year's resolutions...think about that!"

The crowd applauded him...for his stand...

I have never forgotten that day!

AND...still make my commitments (promises) to stand up to the challenge...

Saying Good Bye...Another Pre-Christmas Story...

2009-12-22T11:04:00.000-08:00

...Twas the day before...the Night Before Christmas...

...the office was decked out like a gaudy department store, and filled with buzzing and cheer...

We had planned an 8am party...that would finish up around lunch...we would eat and call it a day...and go to our families...

The party started on schedule...and...

It was about 8:15 am and he was not here...that was not like him...so I called his house...no answer...

I had driven, past his place on the my way in and his car was in the drive...2 hours ago...

Something was wrong...

He was looking really pale the day before...and even broke character for a minute to tell me that he wasn't feeling well...

...It didn't take much to decide to drive there and check in on him!

When I got there, his car was still there...I parked and ran up to his front door...he didn't answer the knocks and bell...so I unlocked the door with my key and immediately saw him lying on the floor...motionless...

He was lying in the perfect location between me and the phone...so I could check on him as I went to the phone...one less decision to make...

One's mind does really crazy things when in emergency situations...

I checked for a pulse...and he had one...and he was breathing VERY lightly and regularly...

As I quickly ran to his phone I actually thought,"I wonder what 911's number is...

Then one of the longest 8 minutes of my life began...

As I was on the phone...which was limited by a short cord...I ran between him and the phone...and after 2 trips gave up on the operator and just left it off the hook...

He was absolutely limp and cold as ice...

I tried like the dickens to revive him...
I got a afgan and pillow from his chair and made him comfortable...

He gained consciousness for a moment, just before the EMTs arrived smiled and told me that he knew that I would come to his rescue...then he faded away deeper than before...but he kept breathing...

To this day...I still am dumfounded at something...the door was open...yet...the paramedics actually rang the doorbell and waited for me...

They came in and totally ignored my update on his vitals and checked for themselves...All I could do was sit back and watch as they took his BP and other vitals...they started an IV...and gave him oxygen...

I think that they thought he had a heart attack...and to be truthful...so did I...

Shortly after their arrival...a police officer stopped in and actually took a statement from me...

and took my information...
He made me feel uncomfortable...with questions like...

Why would you even notice that he wasn't at work?

Why would you come to check on him?

Why do you have a key to his house?

What is your realtionship to this guy?

Why did you check on him before you called 911?

And the one that nearly killed me...Do you know his next of kin?

I felt like I was some prime suspect...
I kept asking if I could get to the hospital...?

Just a few more questions...and I'll run you over there...

I was not about to get in his car...and told him that...unless he hung around the hospital and promised to take me home...when I knew everything was OK...

Finally he asked me if I was OK enough to drive over there...and I assured him that I was...and I left...after locking up his place...

I walked into the Emergency Room and it was absolutely empty...except for a receptionist...who told me to take a seat...which I did for 15 seconds...then I paced...then I went to see if they had an update...the receptionist said that most of the staff had called in sick...and there was only two physicians in....and they were both with major emergencies and that the ambulance did bring some old guy who was dying in so they stabilized him and put him on the life flight that just happened to be leaving for the regional hospital...

Do you know who it was?

She didn't...She thought they simply "tagged him" He was going "in and out" and was speaking a foreign language and they didn't have time to get an interpreter...but it seemed like he was in major pain...and he had a fever...

After a bit of begging she let me walk down the hall and check out one of the two patients that were being worked on...that way I knew if he was the one on the helicopter...one was a woman who cut her hand in a major way...so I excluded her...

When I peeked in the curtained area where a man was being treated...I immedaitely saw that it wasn't him...apologized and went back to the admitting area...and confirmed the regional hospital's location...and she offered to call the hospital and confirm his arrival...

She told me that he was there...and more than a two hour drive away...

I went back to his house and got his wallet and confirmed that his ID and medical card was in it...

It felt weird going through his wallet...I saw that I was listed as his emergency contact...
I grabbed a robe and pajamas, a book and his traveling toiletries...

I called work and gave them an update and told them I was going to go and find him and kick him in the behind, for ruining my day...they told me to give him an extra one for them...and that I should call if he needs anything...

I arrived and went straight to the receptionist...

Unlike the local hospital...this one was buzzing!

After waiting way too much time, I left...walked around the hospital and went to the front desk...

They told me that there was a John Doe brought in from our local hospital about 3 hours earlier...and that he was in ICU.

I asked if I could go there and she gave me directions...

On the way I stopped at admitting...thinking I would make it easier...I got stuck with his paperwork...but being a friend I did my best to complete it...the admitting people were happy to see that he had insurance...and I showed them the emergeny contact card...with my name on it...

It had been nearly 4 hours since I last saw him...and I finally found the ICU.

I found a nurse and asked about the John Doe that they were treating...and she told me that he had died and they moved him...

I was crushed...then she said that he was in a really bad way after that car accident...and they needed someone to identify the body...

I think that she was shocked by my huge smile...

I then asked if they could possibly have two John Does...and she looked at some sheet of paper and sure enough there was another John Doe...

She took me to him and he was hooked up to more machines than I ever saw an individual hooked up to!

He was motionless...expressionless and his eyes were half open. I said something to him and expected him to react...

He didn't...

I went into the common area and asked for a status update and they asked me if I were a next of kin...I showed them the emergency contact card and some ID.

I explained who I was and they reluctantly told me that they do not yet know what is wrong...the good news was that he was stable...just heavily sedated...they would call it a guarded condition...

I went back to his room...got a chair and and set up camp next to his bed...

There was no TV to kill the time...the book was in a language that I couldn't read...so I just sat there and...thought about all of the discussions that we still needed to have...and all of the questions that I have yet to ask...and how important he was to me...and how sorry that I was that I hadn't said all of the things that I wanted to say...

So I took the next 4 hours and did that...in fact I talked for him too...

I talked non stop... and in a macabe way...it was kind of nice to have him quiet...

As a form of emotional release I would ask him a question and then have him say that he didn't know...or never thought of that...or that I was the most brilliant person he ever met...or that he wished that he was as smart as me...then I would laugh...but even humor didn't help...reality would hit me over and over again...

I also told him how important he was to me...and many other things...

I got it all out...that was good...

then he rolled over and said, "That was really special!"

I nearly jumped out of my shirt!

How long have you been awake?

"About 3 1/2 hours...I seldom get a chance to just lay and listen to you ramble! Some of the things you said were really funny...I almost laughed a couple of times!"

I nearly killed him!
"By the way...I feel the same way..." he winked...

Then from a prone position...he took on his mentoring personna...
I have a bit of personal advice for you...that I have been meaning to share with you and never got a chance...I too have been waiting for the right time...

Never wait...to say what you mean to say or that way you feel...chances are that if you do...you will miss your opportunity...

...The "Mrs" departure taught me that lesson...

AND another one...

NEVER TELL ME GOOD BYE AGAIN!

That was a hardest kick in the butt I ever got!

I was happy that he was back...and glad about his second piece of advice...It confirmed that I had fulfilled my short-term mission and my commitment to the company...
By the way...it was a kidney stone and temporary renal failure...and internal bleeding...and peritonitis...

Nothing that a little time and micro-surgery and a lot of antibiotics couldn't cure...

I held my Christmas celebration until New Year's eve...when we shared our gifts...and a touch of his rum together at my place...

...in almost pefect silence...

...because...

...Enough was said...for the time being...

The Best People...

2009-12-17T11:08:00.000-08:00

I returned to the office after a two week hiatus.  I expected to find a ton of issues waiting for my intervention, unsigned invoices, and my team and customers milling around my locked office door anxiously awaiting my arrival.

Instead, there was noone!

When I opened the door and turned on the light...my desk was barron...

I checked my email, and there was nothing of importance to be had...

No major voice mail...except one...a familar voice...and it said..."We hope you had a great vacation...we did our best to make sure that everything was covered..."

In a way...I felt dumbfounded...in a bigger way...thankful...

So I wrote a thank-you note, to the team for their making my return the most joyous event of my vacation...

and hit send...

Within 5 minutes...the inflow of "Re:Thank You" responses began...

They were not what I expected...

It was as if the team had collaborated, wrote one note and shared it...but I knew better...

"...I appreciate the thank you...We have an issue that YOU need to address quickly...It is with our fellow team members. Many of them took your vacation time to do nothing! Some seldom came in to the office. They would not pick up their share of your workload putting an undue burden on the rest of the team. It feels like they are behind schedule, making our work fall behind too...and on and on..."

I was shocked...these were my most trusted partners...

No names were specifically noted in the responses...Yet I had an idea who...Even as I thought of them, I concluded that even they would have be the last two individuals that I would have expected to act that way...

"Welcome back!" came another familar voice from just out of sight...

"I got your note...It was a fitting touch to the team...and well deserved, if I say so myself..."

"Rather than writing a note to you...I thought that I would walk down and discuss this in person...you have a major issue brewing..."

"I know," I replied, "It is with..."

"No it is not!" he jumped in...

I was totally confused and sat back and realized that I had jumped to a conclusion without gathering data....

Fill me in...please!

It is not my place to give you my description of what went on...it would be biased and it may lead you to a decision that it not yours, but mine...Go and do some data mining...but be careful...this is a REAL sensitive one...

It is the first time in my life that I heard him say "but..." twice in such a short period of time...in fact he avoided using that word...with about as much passion as one would avoid eating poison or pounding their thumb repeatedly with a hammer!

Since it appeared that I had nothing else to do...I began my old routine of "managing by walking around..."

My first stop was at the "project professionals" and it felt like I was a long lost family member returing after years of absence! There was a flood of updates...that I carefully noted and complimented...My listening skills were pushed to the limits...and the only tidbit of information that even vaguely resembled what I was looking for was...boy I am so glad that you are back...the team just doesn't function right when you aren't here...because you do not put up with it...

As I walked away I wondered what "it" was...

The next few stops, among them, gave me exactly the same information...and even when I directly asked...these team members had been "way too busy to notice" anything...just that "it" wasn't the same or that "it" changed or that I am glad that your back..."it" doesn't happen when you are around...

From my perspective..."it" was starting to make me angry...whatever "it" was...and it seemed like everyone that I talked to was avoiding "it" and any mention of the subject!

"How's "it" going?" I heard him say...

""It" is a pretty elusive creature," I laughed...

""It" is," he said...

"No one is going to talk about "it!" Not that "it" is illegal or immoral or unethical..."

"In fact, "it" is the reason they work with you and "it" is the most important thing to them...they do not want to hurt "it!"

As we walked, he bagan to lag behind...I was on a mission and he was talking...my "mission pace" and his "talking pace" did not match...

"It" in another sense is just a monster that most people are afraid to face!

I have seem "it" at almost every...now that I think about "it"...I have seen "it" in every company that I worked for!

OK...ENOUGH OF THIS "IT" STUFF! Tell me what "it" is!

I turned to face him so that I could face the truth of "it"...and he was no where to be seen!

"That darn Greek is taking Ninja lessons..." I thought...and snickered...

and I went to the other end of the facility, to meet with the second-third of my group...

The analytical group cloistered in this area away from the others, by their request. Like personalities migrated to his pod of offices. They were "heads-down" workers. They were like machines.  Their emotions were about the same as a machine.  I expected the welcome to be about as emotional as the greeting that I got from my electric pencil sharpener. Boy was I wrong!

I was greeted with hugs and hand-shakes! They dropped everything and pulled their chairs together in an impromptu circle and we talked as a group. Like proud kids...they showed me what they accomplished and I had to admit that it was way beyond expectations...I told them that and they diverted their success to every other member of the group...there was no mention of any problems or issues and actually shook their heads in disbelief when I asked if the team had any issues while I was gone...

It was close to lunch time so we made our way to the cafeteria and took our regular positions at a large table that we routinely sat around.  The entire group congregated, but this is not unusual. It is one of the few times that we were together as a single unit and we cherished that time...we coordinated and shared...and helped with eachother's challenges.

I figured that this would be a great time just to observe the dynamics of the group and maybe "it" would become apparent. There was one part of the team that I hadn't talked with...and this would be a nice way to see if they were the ones who made "it" an issue.

They were no different...they laughed and joked and presented challenges and shared observations and asked eachother for help...not a single thing stuck out..."it" did not rear its ugly head!

I intentionally allowed the lunch to run longer...they always took my queue, to stop, clean up and go to back to work...I was hoping that keeping them together would drive "it" from hiding...but no luck..."it" stayed hidden! The team only talked more laughed more and shared more...

I gave up...and stood up and jokingly told them that I had to get back to work and clean up the messes that they left and tie up the loose ends that remained...no one laughed. They got up...as they always do...bid eachother a great day...and off they went!

I stood thinking for a few moments...absolutely dumbfounded...I was certain that "it" would be there...and then he came from the register area...carrying his salad...and an iced tea...

"Just leaving or are just arriving?" I knew he knew better...and answered that I would sit with him while he ate...He sat and dug in...

"Did you find the problem yet?" he inquired...between bites...

"Not at all...it as if all of you are playing some vicious game with me..."

"Just keep looking...you'll get to it...I really do not think I know what it is either...when you figure it out...please tell me...because I have a feeling that we are going to address this issue many times in our careers...it may be one of the holy grails of management..."

"You know what I found interesting? While you were out...I made it a point to join your group, every day, for lunch...they are exciting to be around...when you are here they all show up...when you are gone...only about half of them came to lunch, on any given day...the others worked...what I thought was strang was that they left your chair empty...some of them even pulled a chair from another table so not to sit in your place...that was weird!"

"They are a strange lot," I laughed "there was a mention that some of the team hardly worked...so I checked their timesheets and I see nothing less than 10 hours per day noted and many of them worked the weekends too...that sucks...some of these people lied..."

"No they didn't" he defended..."If they lied it was that they put less hours than actual down...a gift to you..."

Now I was totally confused...and wanted to think through this puzzle...

I had one more group to visit. They were the "extroverts." First, I could count on them to not be in their offices. Second, I could count on them to tell me everything. Third I always could count on them for an after work party!

Their offices were fittingly located in the middle of the complex. That was where they wanted and needed to be. They were always in the middle of everything. They were trainers and coaches and high energy people...

I arrived and as expected, found a ghost town. I wandered aimlessly in their area for a few minutes and found one...then two and finally the entire team...as they noticed me...they dropped what they were doing...and came to join me...

We talked and I asked their advice...and their help with this issue...and they looked at me as if I were talking another language! A good thing came out of this impromptu get together...a welcome back party was for that evening was arranged and even as we spoke...emails were distributed! All I could do was smile...They absolutely fit the mold...and NEVER let me down!

My other stops gave me a chance to get updates from the individual contributors...and there was no more information gained than at any of the other stops...

I walked back to my office...thinking that I should admit defeat and ask him again to at least give me a hint...

Then, as I walked, I realized that I had been given all of the information that I needed, in the very fact of the absence of information is information too...Now I just had to figure out what that meant...

When I arrived he in my office...he was sitting at my table...working on his stuff...he looked up and smiled...

"I am hiding...and knew that they wouldn't be looking for me here..."

"How can that be? We trade the role of being each other's stalker! They know that...This is the first place they'd look!" I laughed...

Did you get it all fixed?

Nope...but I do know that the fact that I have absolutely no information...I am on the right track!

That is very good! Many people admit defeat based on the fact that they want information...and do not get what they expect...they never to realize that the lack of information is itself great data..."

"WOW! I wished I had thought of that," I said with a smile...it felt nice to be a few steps ahead of him...

"So...if you know nothing...what is that telling you?"

Let me tell you what I know is telling me...before I get into what I do not know is telling me!

I know that the team achieved more in the past two weeks than was expected...and that they are proud of that!

"That is absolutely right...you have given the a clear short-term and long term vision...but your vision is MUCH larger than what the team knows and they know that...you only disclose what they can handle at any given time! They appreciate that because it does not confuse them...You are really good at that! From my perspective...you are one of the best!"

"I know for a fact that the group worked day and night to achieve the short-term visions and goals without me..."

"You are again dead-on...you clearly lay out expectations and leave it them to achieve them...but they know that you will not let them fail if they get into trouble...and they also know that your help comes without a need for an admission of weakness...there are few places where it is this safe to fail and those failures are temporary...and actually learning experiences"

"I know that my team communicates clearly and accurately...what they told me today was exactly the way it was...they are not hiding anything..."

"You are the best I have ever seen at open and fierce conversations...Plato and Socrates would be proud of you...you are so transparent...your team returns that favor by being absolutely transparent with you!"

"Do you know what I think is the coolest thing that I realized today? My team never has to be reminded what they need to be doing? That diverse group of personalities does stuff each in their own way...with their own sense of urgency...and it ultimately ties to my sense of urgency...I am nothing more than an urgency controller..."

"I do not know if that is your sense of urgency or your energy! I think that you have found a way to make the difficult and challenging...perhaps the impossible...fun! I love that line you use...certainty of death...little chance of success...let's get going! They are not afraid to challenge the most difficult things because of that..."

"I also know that the team knows exactly what to do and how to do it...I noticed that as each one told me about their last two weeks they focused on the fact that they stuck absolutely to their portion of the methodology and the contribution to the overall strategy!"

"You know...for a chance agent...you have the most rigorous systems in place that I have ever seen!"

"I also stopped by each person that each one of the the team was working with...and all I got was fantastic feedback...If there was one place that I thought I would hear about issues...it would be from their customers...and the exact opposite was the case...in fact many of them told me to stay away...they got more work out of them!"

"If there is one thing that you are known for is customer focus...and the team knows that...they are diligent in meeting and exceeding expectations...and you heard that!"

"I wish that you would stop with all of these compliments! They are puffing my head up and I will stop thinking...you know as well as I there is a problem here that I have to solve...and by your admission...you do not really know what it is...and you are here to share in my discovery...!"

"You know me well enough to know that I do not pass on hollow or undeserved compliments...your persistence has earned them...so where is your grey matter going on this...?"

"I have searched far and wide to bring this group together...they may seem like a motley crew, but they are the best and the brightest in their areas of expertise...it is delightful to see how different they are and how different each one of them has to be managed..."

"I do not think that even they realize that..."

"I spend most of my time treating each one of the group as an individual..."

"There is no "one-size fits all" management style"

"The greatest injustice that could be done, to any team member, is to expect my self-motivators to follow...or the "good soldiers" to lead...or the introverts to teach...or the extroverts to stay quiet..."

"You know...most of the time...performance issues are not those of the individual...they are the result of bad and narrow management, of those individuals...When I think about it...the wrong person is getting fired!

I hate that...so and so is not an extrovert...or self motivator...so we have to get rid of him/her...That actually is an admission of incompetent management! This team is a team of the BEST people because I help them be the best!" If you can not do that...you have no place in management...

"That is interesting...you know that at lunch...the ones on the team that showed up...like they normally do...talked about how different it would be if you didn't come back...some of them were afraid that you were out interviewing...others that they had let you down...others just sat quiet...but that discussion was a bit creepy!"

"I have given them everything they need to be successful...they do not have to worry about that...look at what they accomplished while I was gone! It was more than they do when I was here! They worked day and night...only a handful of them do that routinely..." If they follw the path I set out for them they will be successful...if they divert...they'll fail...all the right things are there...if they choose otherwise...they are choosing wrong...how simple is that?"

"That's right!"

"So what do I need to teach them...They trust me...they talk with me...they know what I want...they know when I need it...I strive to be appreciative...I listen...They know exaclty how do do it...they focus on the customer..."

"They are some of the highest paid people in the company...they deserve it and earn it...I believe it and put our money where our mouth is...

When I think about it...if they consolidated their resources...they could buy Mount Everest...let alone every one of them could climb it as individuals...each one of them are great...and they know it!"

"I was thinking about what you said...that every company that you worked for, has this problem..."

"I think that "it" is with the management...they do not realize what they are working with...they do not deserve to be in the positions that they have...they expect everyone to be a certain way or they are losers...everyone has to be self-motivated or analytical or precise or...whatever...you know...that is really bad...

"...That is a door slammed shut on their passions...I wish that I could make that behavior a felony and put those poor managers in prison...and then they would get what they deserve for being the way they were..."

"I am so glad that I take the time to teach these people to be great leaders as part of my mission..."

"But have you taught them to be great managers?" And with that he stood up and left...

That is when the light went on...

There is a difference between management and leadership...Everyone on the team was a great leader...they had learned those lessons well...

They had the freedom to manage themselves as individuals...but did not know how to manage between themselves...they thought that their way was the best way...the others on the team had to be like them...or they were not doing their job...

My role has always been to ensure that the air traffic was controlled...I complemented publically, not only as a way of recognition but also as a way to communicate status...and assure each member of the team that we were on track...the humble members of the team...would not talk about their status...when I wasn't there...

Each in their own way killed themselves to exceed the known goals...but they were the their goals...not the consolidated goals...

They hadn't learned how to manage between themselves...They could not recognize eachothers' idiosyncracies and needs...if it wasn't like them...there was something wrong...they were fighting the illusions of self worth and value...they created standards of performance based on their own biases!

The "it" problem was with me...

"It" was really not a problem...but a matter of style...I was not a problem...but "it" was that I did not share how to overcome "it"

It was that I needed to let go of management...

So I got up and started managing by walking around AGAIN...this time I took one of the team with me on my rounds...and did so everytime thereafter...

Lasting Beauty Depends on...A Pre-Christmas Story...

2009-12-13T06:12:00.000-08:00

It was the weekend after Thanksgiving and as was tradition in my household...I was out in the crisp fall air...

...climbing around the outside of the house and...
....swearing and...
...untangling hastily and poorly stored strings of light and...
...building a manger scene and...
...hanging wreaths and...
...falling off shaky ladders and...
...(Did I mention swearing?) and...
...sipping hot-buttered rum and...
...setting up other "should have been donated years ago" decorations...
...and smashing fingers and cutting my hands on rain gutters and...
...vowing to NEVER docorate the house again and...
...ruing my ungrateful children and life itself...

AND...

...listening to Christmas music and...the distant church bells...
...counting my blessings and...
...dreaming of creating the perfect season and...
...inhaling the aromas of the neighbors' cooking and their wood buring stoves and...
...feeling the light caresses of the infrequent snowflakes that fell from the perfectly blue sky and ...
...simply loving the solitude and the freshness of new season and the promises that it holds...
...it was one of the few chances that adults have to relive the excitement of childhood...

Then...

I heard his voice and a snicker...and looked down from my treacherous perch from on the top rung of the ladder, at ground below...to see him standing there...dressed for 40 degree colder weather and toting the biggest bottle of his rum that I had ever seen!

I laughed so hard at his appearance that I nearly fell from the ladder...I steadied myself and continued the swearing part of the tradition...

How the heck did you get that bottle here...did you dress it as a traveling companion and buy it a separate airline seat? You are definitely a sight! What are you going to wear when it gets really cold?

He kicked at the dusty layer of snow..."I saw your neighbor at the hardware store and he told me that you were putting up decorations...so I thought that I would drop by and lend a hand..."

It was then that I realized that the thickness of his clothing was not for cold...but cushioning...in the event that he fell from the ladder...(not really...but it made me laugh again!)

Why would you come and help me...when you hire a professional company to decorate your place?

"I do that so that I can spend time helping you...if I were alone...I would waste my time fixing up my place...AND these people are professionals...their work comes with a guarantee...it will last through New Year's Day...then they come and take it down...I have no issues with that! Nothing to store...and my place is the best looking place in the neighborhood...Their work is a thing of beauty...a lasting thing of beauty.."

If I hadn't climbed down the ladder and took the bottle from his hand...his discourse on the benefits of hiring a professional company to decorate homes would have gone on for hours...I have gotten wise to the fine points of distracting him...

Would you like me to make some of this into hot buttered rum...or do you want it straight?

As we walked into the house, he contemplated both options to the point of my frustration...and opted for hot...

So I mixed "his favorite" with "my secret"...and we toasted an entirely successful year...with our favorite toast...

"We win some or we learn something...either way we are successful...!"

...and with that he went outside and began criticising every decoration...!

His primary attack was more on the methods behind the how the decoration was assembled and not the what it presented...

They went something like..."I love how you outlined your entire house in white lights and you have those cool icecicles hanging from the gutter...but you know...the first heavy snow or brisk wind and they'll be on the ground....Santa is going to tip over...Baby Jesus is going to blow into the next county if you do not tie him into the cradle...but do it so it doesn't look like you are some kind of pervert..."

I totally ignored every suggestion...because I put almost a whole day's swearing into it...that was a huge investment and now I could go back to my old self...which abhors "lower classed language!"

I was not about to tell him that last year...everything he mentioned was dead on! But I had that covered this year...I put everything up exactly the same way...and this time it was not going to crash!

As I scurried along the edge of the icy roof...he took a positon leaning against my frozen bird bath...knocking the bath part off the pedestal and smashing it into a hundred pieces...

He looked up to see if I had noticed and vowed to buy me a fountain to replace it...(which he actually did in the Spring)

The bird bath incident put him into a mentoring mood...and even though we were a hundred feet or more apart...I could see it clearly...

Want another rum he asked?

"I guess so," I said..."by the time you get back, I'll be done..."

"No...I was expecting you to get it for us," he laughed and he scurried off like a starched little over-stuffed scarecrow!

While I waited for his return...I had sufficient time to pick-up, store, turn evey light on...and step out in the road to survey and admire my masterpiece...

I was actually in a zone...looking at it in a child-like awe...when his voice brought my back to reality!

"Here take a drink...I know that you must be freezing..."

We stood there for a few minutes and he broke the silence...

"This is absolutely beautiful!"

"As far as Christmas lighting is concerned...it is not too gaudy...just nice!"

"That is what I like...you send a message! What do you think that message is?"

"I like bright lights?" I laughed...

"NOPE!...THANK YOU!"

"That is a great message to send and you should send it every day!"

"That should be an enduring meassage...and that is what is missing from this...the every day part!"

"What do you mean?" I inquired.

"You know...that bird bath that I destroyed...was beautiful...but it was not enduring..."

"These lights and the little pocket scenes of the manger and Christmas town and the Santa..."

"They are not enduring and you send a message that you are thankful...but it is superficial..."

As we stood there...the breeze turned into a cutting knife and the snow began falling harder...

"I built a fire in your fireplace...it should be roaring by now..."

What? I said...that fireplace is not real!

He nearly had a heart attack...and began running toward the house...then I confessed that it was a real fireplace...and just wanted to see what he would do!

He joined my in the "swearing tradition" for a moment and then we went in!

As punishment for my momentary trick...he continued with his oral dissertation...

"Lasting beauty depends upon a VERY strong foundation..."

"Beauty is constantly challenged and picked at, by its very nature...it is like a criticism magnet...so you need to ensure that it is twice as strong as anything you think will attack it..."

"That bird bath...built for birds...but not for a slightly overweight Greek..."

"That beauty disappeared the moment that I used it as a leaning post..."

"Your lights and scenes look beautiful...but will crash the minute they are challenged..."

But...I began in defense...

He was standing in the window of the study...and interrupted my objection, "Man...look at that snow...it is blowing...do you mind if I spend the night?"

"No problem...you can use the guest room"..."mein haus ist Ihr house...mein freund..."

We spent the rest of the evening in the warmth of the cracking fire...periodically throwing another log into it, to refresh the embers...and add to the traditional odors...

We talked of the need for sturdy organizational infrastructure...and that we do not focus on it enough...and that ANY change in an organization, demands a thorough review of the infrastructure...and more often than not a rebuild of that too!

Our missions, although unsaid, are about creating "things of beauty..."

In order for beauty to be more fleeting...it needs to be built to last...

Lasting beauty needs a strong foundation...

Being built to last has more to do with the foundation than that which the foundation supports...

Rock solid pilings...that extend into bedrock...

Deep stakes...that can not be easily pulled out...

Strong ties...that require more than a tug to sever...

A worthwhile effort is more than putting a layer of cosmetics, on a pig...

All beauty must go to the very core of the thing created...layer by layer...

So that as people who follow...as they "peel away the onion"...they find as much or more beauty within, as they saw on the surface...

This is a hard thing for "developers" to do...they often so not see the value related to depth...and emphasize the surface...

"Do not make that mistake as you build..."

Finally, the rum supply was exhausted, and the last log had gone from flames to a few orange embers...

Almost simultaneously we both stretched and yawned...then retired and awoke to an amazing "winter wonderland..."

After breakfast and tylenol...we dressed, intending to shovel the drive and the walk...and surprise the neighbors with as many clean drives as we could before they awoke...

He exited the house first...and I followed a few minutes later...

He had already shoveled his way to the street...and when I found him...he was holding the baby Jesus and looking back at yesterday's labor...

Do you want me to help you put your thing of beauty back up or should I call my company?

The "Secret" to the Building of the Pyramids...

2009-12-02T07:26:00.000-08:00

I was riding on my favorite bike trail when I heard "huffing" coming from behind me...

Since I was not expecting anyone to join me, I didn't look back...

I figured that the other rider would either drop back or pass me...so I pulled to the right-side of the trail and rode a consistent speed...

He pulled up beside me and I looked over and saw that it was him!

"Give an old man a break and slow down to a human pace," he pleaded...

"Where are you headed?"

"Just around my regular loop," I replied...

"That's 25 more miles!" he complained, "You are insane!"

"Do you want to stop and rest at the next set of benches?"

"If you would be so kind, I would truely appreciate it"

We rode for about a mile, stopped and shared the water that was strapped to my bike...

"I had to ride like an idiot to catch up with you!" "I thought that I would catch you before you left...I hate being late!"

Did you have something important that you wanted to talk about?

"No...I just wanted to ride with you today...heck, you go fishing with me and you play golf with me...and you drink my rum with me...the least that I could do is something you like..."

What makes you think that I do not like those things?

"Those are things that you only do with me...you never do them when I am not around...so I assume that you do them because of me...not because you like them..."

"Do you remember some advice that you gave me once? NEVER say NEVER and NEVER say ALWAYS...you'll always be proven wrong..."

"Well you just did it!"

"I do not do things that I do not like! If I didn't like doing them or thought that they went against some higher ideal...I wouldn't do them! I fish and golf and drink rum without you...it's not as fun...but I still do it..."

"That's my boy...and that is all I needed to hear! AND yes...you caught me! I did say NEVER!"

"Do you want a real drink?"

He pulled out a HUGE flask and handed it to me...

I laughed and obliged him!

"So what do you want to discuss?"

"I was thinking about "great things" last night...not the what! part of them...but the how?"

"I came across an insight that I just had to share with you..."

"Cool...share it...share it...share it...stop the suspense building!"

"The 7 wonders of the ancient world and the pyramids in particular...that was what I was thinking about..."

"They are an interesting anomoly...."

"The legacy of them lives today!"

"The riddle of the pyramids are more difficult than that of the Sphinx!"

"Do you remember the riddle of the Sphinx?"

With that he went into his reflective stance...

"Long ago...Hera sent the Sphinx from Ethiopia to Thebes in Greece where she asked all passersby the most famous riddle in history: "

“It went something like this...Which creature in the morning goes on four legs, at mid-day on two, and in the evening upon three, and the more legs it has, the weaker it be?”

"To add to the challenge...she strangled and ate anyone unable to answer."

"Oedipus was the first to solve the riddle. His solution was...Man — who crawls on all fours as a baby, then walks on two feet as an adult, and then walks with a cane in old age."

"I do not know if you are aware of it but, there was a second riddle:"

"There are two sisters: one gives birth to the other and she, in turn, gives birth to the first."

"I know the answer," I replied, "Day and Night—both words are feminine in Greek..."

"VERY GOOD...I thought I would catch you on that one..."

With that he pulled back out of his reflective posture.

"Those are tough riddles but not as difficult as trying to figure out how the pyramids were built!"

"You know the best riddles are self-evident...actually the ones with the most difficult answers are those which point to the self evident ones!"

"Mankind has struggled with the riddle of how the pyramids were built for centuries!"

"The real struggle is brought about by their paradigms and perspectives, rather than the answer itself!"

"Here is what is happening...The Egyptians had no advanced technology...when we think about it...we can not do it with our current technology...how could they?"

"Many have theorized that extra-terrestorial creatures helps them or that they had access to some kind of technology that we did not...That is pretty arogant...don't you think?"

"They actually had the same tool at their disposal as we do...the one that mattered...to their building of those great monuments..."

"You know what is interesting? You could build a pyramid of the same immense magnitude..."

"I could too..."

"Do you know what the secret tool is?"

The lever? The wheel?

"No...and it is not some lost technology...although the secret is lost to many..."

"You have it right here with you now..."

"My bicycle?" I laughed...

"It is not your bicycle or magic...even though many people still blame many people's amazing accomplishments upon it..."

"The bicycle or magic? I know magic!" I laughed..

I could see that he was not appreciating my humor...

"Stop it already and cut to the chase," I pleaded...

"The secret of how the pyramids were built is..."

"...hard work, persistence and passion..."

"...lots of hard work and lots of passionate people..."

"AND...the secret tool is your mind...and the capacity that it has for creativity, adaptiveness and ingenuity..."

"There is no stopping people who work hard and are passionate about what they are doing!"

"I can see those ancient conversations now..."

"Let's build a huge pyramid..."

"A monument that will stand for thousands of years and that will baffle generations to come!"

"The reply...OK...that would be really neat...we do not have the technology to do it! All we have are these little rock hammers...and these ropes..."

"WOW! That is all we need! Let's get to work and figure out the rest as we go on!"

"And they did! They did not make the first mistake of not starting..."

"They immediately came upon issues...but they figured them out...and persisted"

"At that point, the secret tool was their mind! When they came up against an obstacle...they figured it out...then they went on to the next one and the next one and the next one..."

"40 ton block by 40 ton block...obstacle after obstacle...they built legacies...that stand today...the pyramids have outlasted history...and generations..."

"I just read that an atomic bomb couldn't flatten them! That is an enduring monument..."

"The Romans destroyed many temples and buildings of many cultures, including the Temple of Solomon...but could not scratch the pyramids...that legacy lives!"

"All that strength can only be attributed to hard work...passion and ingenuity..."

"Not some alien culture who came down here in space ships and helped..."

"That legacy was built by endurance and ingenuity and an unwillingness to give up..."

"Not some far-fetched, sensationalized, conspiracy theory!"

"Our society is ever so wrought with paradigms..."

"One of the secrets that they possessed was that entitlement was reserved to one person...the Pharaoh...it was not an all pervasive right for everyone in that society" The recognized the destructiveness of entitlement and isolated it to one person...BRILLIANT!"

"Back then...people did not believe that they had a God given right to work less and get paid more..."

"The Egyptians believed quite like the Founding Fathers of America...that we had a right to work...and make a living as long as it didn't infringe on the right of others to do the same..."

"DO not get me wrong...they believed in entitilement...but it was much different and our society has ruined the real concept of entitlement..."

"All in all...It is our arrogance that stands in the way of our true understanding...if we could only wipe those paradigms out and become as little children...the kingdom could be ours!"

"When I really think about it...we could do the same...but we have become lazy society...and we attribute that same defect to our predecessors..."

"They were not lazy...they were passionate and creative...and adaptive"

"They were not afraid to work..."

"They were driven by passion and fervor!"

"Those individuals who possess those tools, today, (and there are few) build enduring legacies too..."

"With the right amount of vision and creativity...the legacies that they build will stand as long as the pyramids...unless of course one sets the goal to make them endure longer"

"Enduring monuments, legacies...are not built upon success...they are built by overcoming obstacle after obstacle...through a strength of will...using the tools at hand...and not blaming failure upon the lack of technology or the absence of alien help..."

"The secret of the pyramids is hard work...and it is glaring us right in the face!"

"With that he said...We have 24 more miles to ride today...and then we have a pyramid to build...I have a feeling that our legacy is going to have some major obstacles to overcome...but there is one thing that the Romans can not tear apart...OUR LEGACIES!"

"Let's go do something that endures..."

The Gentlesmans' Sport...

2009-12-01T06:01:00.000-08:00

"Life is all work and no play...is exactly on the opposite end of the truth spectrum," he would say on days like today...

We were up at sunrise to make his regular tee-time! We were the first ones off every Saturday morning! I think that it was that alone that motivated him...he was "kiddy" as we walked up to the first tee box...

We enjoyed golfing together...in fact we probably golfed too much! He had standing tee times 3 days each week and he seldom missed them...We were also a "sub team" on two evening leagues...There were times that I felt "overloaded" with golf...but because we played together...it was a blast!

Our "play" was quite unconventional...

Hit the ball...
Toast to celebrate a brilliant hit (no matter where it landed)...
Drive to it...
Hit it again...and...
Repeat every step...

We supplemented the routine with heavy discussions...most of the topics were those that we had no time to talk about while enjoying "the play" in other aspects of our lives...we actually played golf (from my perspective) in order to give us uninterrupted philosophy time!

He had a unique golf strategy...he never used his driver...most of the time he "teed-off" with a club no larger than his 5 wood...then he jumped into his irons 5,7, 9, wedge and then putt...He played absolutely perfect sub-bogie golf! He'd par the 5's consistently (a rare birdie was celebrated)...the 4's a little over 50% of the time and the 3's his demise! I struggled to do the same...but was a consistent challenge to him and a good team mate!

Today the stars aligned and we were playing more like the regulars who arrive a few hours later than us...and show disgust at pars!

We were reveling in a pair of par 3 birdies (a rarity). He poured another drink and then asked..."Many people claim that golf and business are much alike...do you know how these two are the same?"

We were playing so good...I wanted to concentrate on my game...but I knew better...

I gave him a long winded answer and he patiently listened...sipped his drink and subtly motioned that I should do the same...It was a hint that I should "shut up" and listen...

I ignored his hints and continued talking until I gave my entire perspective...he smiled and told me that I was totally off base!

"OK...then...how are they the same?" I asked...

"Both endeavors are gentlemens' sports...In golf...everything short of a hole in one is a mistake...an error...or less than adequate performance...every shot from tee to hole is making up for your inadequacies!"

"The exact same thing holds true in management...every day (except in some rare occasions) is sub perfect and all subsequent efforts are around correcting for the initial shot-fall and those that follow!"

"I never looked at it that way! The best players treat that situation with grace and class...recognizing that they are pursuing a nearly impossible goal and that they are constantly playing catch-up!"

"But you called it a gentlemens' sport...what do you mean by gentlemen?"

"Although the mechanics of golf and business are nearly identical...it is the gentlemen part of it that brings the two into the same arena..."

"A gentleman is an individual with "class.""

"A gentleman is a person who controls extremes and is astutely aware of the impact that his behaviors has on others..."

"A gentleman NEVER lowers himself to the tactics of the "lower classed" people around him...he or she is a person of firm integrity!"

"A gentleman stands out in the croud...not because of dress...but because action..."

"A gentleman is a person of charity...they are constantly appreciative for the blessings that they have received and never steal credit where credit is due..."

"A gentleman recognizes their strengths and weaknesses and does not veer from reality..."

"I could go on for a long time with the characteristics of a gentleman...the important thing is to set yourself apart..."

"Business is not a game of aces, or birdies or even consistent pars...not for most of the players..."

"We would love to believe ourselves of being capable of consistent birdie golf...but then we'd be making a living doing that!" "Get REAL...we have to stop deluding ourselves...and see ouselves for what we are really capable of..." "There is a huge difference between a perfect game...a score of 18...and a par game of 72!" "And we celebrate a great game when we are 54 strokes away from realty..."

"We are blessed by the fact that there are so many poor players that our meager efforts look like birdie golf!"

"But if we get realistic...we are limited by those around us..." "That is one of the reasons I like to be the first one off when I play...I have noone in front of me to slow me down..."

"The important thing is to be a gentleman about our efforts...and the performance of others..."

"Look at the most of the early morning players...they curse...they throw clubs...they outwardly show disappointment!"

"Those people are not gentlemen!"

"Think about a majority of the meetings that we attend...many of those players curse...throw thensleves and show disappointment...there is no difference..."

"Acting like that in business is no better...and does not increases one's class or cash! Those behaviors do not take a single stroke off their game (in golf)...or...make the company's performance better..."

"So remember...unless you make a hole in one...you are playing catch-up...don't deceive youself into believing that you made a great shot...if it didn't go in the hole..."

"Then remember to be a gentleman about it all..."

"Be thankful that your shot didn't go into the woods!"

"Gather yourself up..."

"and try again!"

"Do not give up..."

"Catch-up..."

"Get to the hole..."

"AND be a gentleman about it all..."

"Show the world who has class and who doesn't!"

"There are a few professional players that we try to emulate...but the fact of the matter is...a vast majority of players...whether it is in business or golf...are "wanna bees!"

"They are amatuers..."

"Put any of them in the arena with the true professionals and they are embarrassing losers!"

"Don't emulate a loser..."

"I am so entertained by any of those people...golfers or business people...who act as if they are professionals! They lack the most basic components...a sense of reality!"

With that...I walked up to my tee'd ball...and hit the best grass burner I ever hit...

"Great hit!" he sincerely noted...

I smiled and said..."I can not wait to see what my next hit will be like!"

"I have a lot of catching up to do!"

"Pass me my drink...Here's to you...a gentleman and a scholar!"