Clunk's Cafe

Notice of charges for receipt of political correspondence

2017-04-24T03:02:00.000-07:00

As the general election is coming up, I am putting charges onto all political correspondence that I receive at my house. .

The charges for flyers, letters and pamphlets are:
Conservatives: £250
Labour: £150
Lib Dem: £77.50p
UKIP: £5
Green Party: £750
Co-operative party: £10.56p

All other parties: £49.99p

If you visit my house, you will be charged the following:

Answering the door:
Conservatives: £99.99
All other parties: £49.99

Listening to what you say, charges per minute and part thereof:
Conservatives: £99.99
Green: £499.99
Labour: £24.99
All other parties £49.99

Telling you to fuck off:
Green: £249.99
Conservatives: £99 (If you are Michelle Donelan there is a £50 extra cost towards my pleasure of telling you to fuck off)
All other parties, free

There will also be a £49.99 surcharge for p&p of the invoice.

It will be assumed that by posting material through my door, or visiting my house, that you have read these terms and have agreed to them.

Invoices will be sent weekly, Payment in full will be required within 7 days.

Facebook Fishkeeping Fanatical fucktards

2017-04-05T09:27:00.000-07:00

I noticed out of all the facebook groups and forums I am on, the most vicious are the fishkeepers. I wondered if they realised how silly they sound. So I thought I would change a typical fish forum conversation into one about model trains. . . . . .

OP: “Hello, I was wondering if my 3 plank LMS truck would fit with my rake of 12 GWR 5 plank wagons?”

1: What gauge are you modelling?

2: How big is the running length?

OP: Err, OO Gauge. And about 18 feet.
3: What is the radius if your inner curve?
4: What other rolling stock do you have?
OP: Radius 1 14 inches
1: Lima or Hornby?
2: Or peco?
OP: I have a class 58 with a rake of coal, I have the flying scotsman, I have a BR EMU

4: YOU IDIOT! YOU CAN’T MIX STEAM WITH DIESEL!!!!!
3: The Flying scotsman doesn’t work with a radius 1 curve. You need to have a minimum radius 3
2: What are your track parameters? I think you need to change your track before you do anything else.
OP: I’ve had steam with diesel for years, with no problems.

5: Steam and diesel will fight, and diesel will win. You need a separate layout for the steam.
4: A 40% track change is needed.
2: I change 30% of my track, every week.

4: I do a 50% track change every three days.

6: How high is the layout? Is it near a window?
1: LIMA OR HORNBY!
5: I change 90% of my track every day, and so does my wife!
4: I will take the steam of your hands

OP: Errr. . . . .
7: Does the electric EMU stay in the engine shed a lot?
1: I change 30% of my track every sunday before church.
OP: No, I get it out when the diesel isn’t around.

3: oh dear. You should really re-house the EMU.

OP: But I like the EMU

3. Sorry, it just isn’t compatible with the diesel

4. Or steam.

2: Do you have anything else on the layout?

OP: Well, I have this class 8 shunter

4: SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS. You should be reported to Isambard Kingdom Brunel, you evil person you.

OP: It’s only a shunter. .

4: Only a shunter?!?!?! It should be in the sidings, preparing the rakes for the next engine, not out on the mainline? What are you doing man????
OP: I only came here for advice, I didn’t expect the spanish inquisition. . . .
8: Do a track change. 50% should do it.

Brexit

2017-03-12T15:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, Brexit.
That dirty little B word that seems to be the route of sighs, and the bain of the rich everywhere.

There are people in parliment, and the house of lords, that really don't want Brexit because of the economy.

The economy.

Fuck the economy. That is not the reason I, or many others, voted Brexit.

I voted Brexit because I am pissed off to the back teeth of walking around town, and hundreds of people not speaking English.
I am pissed off with how easy the government hands out houses to immigrants, yet it is impossible for anyone to get a mortgage noways.
I am pissed off with people claiming asylum here, getting upwards of £30k in benefits for families that aren't in this country.
I voted Brexit to close our borders.

Fuck the economy.
Infact, if we get rid of all immigrants both legal and illegal that arrived here in the past 5 years, the government would have a surplus of cash because they aren't paying out as much to the fucking immigrants.

I am actually scared of the country's future.
All of these immigrants are allowed to vote. If we don't vote UKip in the next election, then immigrants will outnumber natives by the following one, and we wont have a fucking chance of reclaiming Britain for the British.

Please, just get Brexit underway, so we can be British again.

Close the fucking borders.

Chicken and Egg question.

2016-09-09T13:57:00.000-07:00

This popped up in my head, recently. And I am interested in knowing people's opinions.

Do you have to be a bellend to buy and Audi, or does buying an Audi turn you into a belend?

Answers in comments, please. Share and pass it on. This is an important subject that needs many opinions.

Chippenham Pizza Hut

2015-11-21T13:19:00.000-08:00

So after an exhausting day involving Christmas shopping, and visiting my ill father in hospital, my partner and I decided that we were not going to cook this evening.

After a purely scientific decision (coin toss) we decided to visit Pizza Hut in Bath road, Chippenham.
We got there and found a half full establishment. After a reasonable wait, we were chaperoned to a table in a very busy corner, where my partner had to move the table to get behind it, and I had to put my chair off to one side so I did not interfere with the customers eating on the table behind me.

After deciding on what we wanted to eat, the waitress came and sat on the table beside us, to take our order. After telling her I wanted a stuffed crust, I was told we are out of stuffed crust. I switched to another crust, and carried on with our order. We also decided on a unlimited drinks, and we were offered the free salad bar.

Upon getting to the bar, we found that there were 10 containers missing, and the remaining containers were either empty or as near as dammit empty. (Apart from sweetcorn, but no one eats that shit anyway).

In disgust, I replaced my bowl and retreated to the drinks machine where I eventually found a clean glass, and put it under the tap. All the flavours were out of stock except the vanilla (Again, who drinks that shit?) So I opted for a straight Pepsi Max. And all I got was fizzy brown water. There was no flavour syrup in it at all.

In disgust, Mrs Clunk went to complain and asked for the manager. The waitress that seated us went to find the manager, then came back asking us what the problem was. She explained briefly, then went off to get the manager who eventually appeared. When we voiced our disgust at the available service, we were met with a blank stare, and a careless attitude, with a pathetic half arsed attempt at an apology that lacked any form of sincerity (I must question if she is human). In disgust, we cancelled our order and went elsewhere.

After previously eating here and being happy with the service, it was somewhat of a shock to find it in such a poorly managed state. the salad bar wasn't 'just' empty, it had been empty for some time. The cordial machine had been empty a while, judging by the amount of half full glasses surrounding it. I don't think myself or Mrs Clunk will be returning anytime soon.

But a big thank you to Lee's Chippy in Redlands who provided us with the service we required.

Bank Street Burger bar. Newquay. (Review)

2015-08-28T12:29:00.001-07:00

Bank Street website.

Before I went to Newquay with my partner, I was promised a visit here. "the best burger you will ever have" I was promised.
So on Wednesday, we went in to take advantage of the 2 for £10 offer they had.
Upon entry, I was quite surprised to find all the staff appeared to be under 25. Including what appeared to be the manager. Although I appreciate that young staff is not unusual nowadays, it is still odd when you see no obvious staff over 25.
We were seated at a table, and my partner obviously felt uncomfortable with her seat as for the first time ever, she asked me to have her handbag my side of the table as I was against the wall. Looking around at the other customer, it appeared he had been in all day drinking the bar dry. And there was no distinguishing between the staff and customers. The staff wore black, but it appeared to be whatever they had that was black-ish, rather than a uniform.
We had our order taken, and I took in the bar. I would of spoken to my partner, but the music was so fucking loud, I couldn't hear myself speak, yet alone what my partner was saying across the table from me.
After a half hour wait, someone, (I assume to be staff0, muttered something to my partner which she had to ask him to repeat several times due to the indefatigable booms from whatever dreary track was playing at the time. Apparently what was said was someones order taken after ours was prepared before ours, and as such, the drinks were on the house. 5 minutes later, another pre-pubescent lad, who I assume was the manager due to everyone asking him questions, came over and informed us that due to the cock up and the prolonged wait, that the food would be on the house. 20 seconds later, the food was put in front of us.

Now, I cannot tell a lie, the food was awesome. The burger was obviously fresh, the sauces were gorgeous, the fries were perfect, and the onion rings divine.

After eating, we asked for the bill, and was given the bill with no obvious deductions on it. When we enquired, we were told that the food wasn't prepared out of turn, it was prepared simultaneously. Therefore there will be no deductions. So we paid and left.

Bottom line.
Food was awesome.
Staff lacked structure and communication.
I would recommend the food, but would warn of the service.

Martha's Tea Rooms, Newquay (review)

2015-08-28T08:26:00.000-07:00

Martha's Tea Room's, Newquay

Myself and my partner went in here as we were determined to have a cream tea whilst on holiday in Cornwall.
Walked in, and it was busy. 2 tables with one chair each, so we sat at one, and grabbed a chair from the other.
We ordered our cream teas, and did not have to wait long. The tea came first, hot, and with a local blend tea bag in each pot. Ample milk was given. Although there was a lack of sugar on the table, and I resorted to brown sugar for the last cup of tea from the pot (You get three good cups per pot)
The scones arrived, and we again were not disappointed. They were warm, and so very light. They would melt on the tongue. The cream was very nice, and quite a firm consistency. I was scowled at for making the scone the Devon way ( I am from Devon) with the cream first then the jam.
Anyway, these are the best cream teas we have ever had.
The savoury cream tea on the menu caught our eye, so we decided to go back later in the week to try them.
Again, we were not disappointed. The savoury cream tea was cheese scones, with cream cheese and onion chutney. Again, the scones were light, and delicious. Although myself and my partner both agreed that the sweet scones we had on the previous visit was a lot nicer.
We also had some home made cake whilst there. Again, these were gorgeous.

The only negative thing I would say about the place, is the lack of seating space. It is a small place and fills up quickly. If they had more tables, they would do a lot more business.

All in all, I would highly recommend visiting Martha's tea rooms.

Trethiggey Campsite (review)

2015-08-28T08:07:00.000-07:00

Trethiggey Website

So for my first holiday in 14 years, I went camping with my lovely partner.
She chose the campsite after having camped there many times before.
I went with an open mind, as it had been many, many years since I last went camping properly.
I was not disappointed.
The staff were very friendly, including the owners cat, Archie. The pitches were well laid out, and spaced nicely each with their own little bit of privacy. Unlike larger campsites, the pitches did not feel 'regimented'. The whole atmosphere felt casual.
The facilities were very good. There was a clubhouse bar/restaurant (which I did not visit to be fair) the shower block I used (there was one each end of the camp) was in good condition, the water temperature was just right, the pressure was good, although they did not stay on quite long enough, and the cubicles were quite small. But then I am a big person, so take that as a personal preference.
Now the missus laughed at me, because I did not get on with the toilet roll dispensers. And judging by the moans, and groans and rapid roll pulling from other cubicals, I was not the only one. I resorted to buying toilet rolls from the local spar.On my last day, I heard moans and grumbles from the adjacent cubical so I rolled a roll under the door and got a relieved 'cheers'. So men, I advise taking a few rolls with you.
Dish washing facilities were excellent. Three outdoor sinks for washing your dishes. Water was hot, and the area was clean. They even supplied a hose for washing our wetsuits.
There was also wildlife a plenty around the camp. You would often have rabbits coming up to the tent door in the evening, and peering in.
The site lacks a proper club house, but this is a good thing. I felt it contributed well to the lack of chavs on the site. There were no annoying families, and the whole park felt relaxed and mellow.

The downsides,

There are a lot of long term residents. The state of their areas do let down the site a little.
Drainage could be improved. Our pitch was boggy from day one.
Caravan storage. Although they placed them at the back of the site, you had to drive through them to get to some pitches. It would of been nice if they were moved further from the entrance still.

Overall I would highly recommend this site for anyone camping in Newquay.

Linde Forklifts.

2015-03-27T14:07:00.000-07:00

So where I work, we have a large fleet of around 80 MHE from Jungheinrich. Of which about 50 are Fork lift trucks. The contract is up for renewal soon, and the fleet of FLT's is about 5 years old, with about 16k hours on them.

Linde brought in their demonstrators for us to peruse.

It is safe to say that no one is impressed. Not one person who has tried these trucks likes them.
Yes, they have a very comfortable seat, and the cab suspension is very good. And yes, they are quieter. But all these do not make up for the massive issues this truck has.

They are:

1. The cab is tiny. Not small, but tiny. My left arm touches the door all the time, and when you turn around to look out the rear window there is no where to put your arm. Which leads me to the second major issue:
2. Rear view. A photo may help here:

Yes ladies and gentlemen, your rear view is of the air filter.
30% of my working day is spent going backwards. 30% of my day I will be able to check the air filter. This is a pretty major issue when the bloke at the company I work for specifies low level exhausts to eliminate blind spots. Seriously, how did this get through?
3. Blind spots. They are everywhere. The a pillars, the roof, the stupid bracing at the back, I would estimate there is about 20% less visibility than on the Jungheinrich.

Also the brace across the windscreen obscures the view of stacking a third cage on a stack. Which is a very common thing we do.

4. The steering wheel does not come up high enough and is too upright.

5. There is no where to put your left foot when you have balls as big as mine.

Another point to notice is when I pointed out to the salesman about the rear view, he told me I was turning the wrong way. I was turning over my left shoulder when I should be turning over my right. I pointed out to him that to turn to the right, I would have to rip the control arm out so my legs had somewhere to go.
A very short co-worker of mine also pointed out that when he rotates to the right, he can no longer reach the pedals. Hence he always turns to the left. Infact, we could only find two people that turn to the right when going backwards,

But like most companies that buy stuff, they don't ask the people that use it their opinion, they go with the company that's the cheapest.

But by christ, I hope we don't end up with this crap.

Jeremy Clarkson.

2015-03-11T14:02:00.000-07:00

Yes, I dared to mention his name.
I am becoming slightly pissed off with people wanting to ban/punish/kill/boil/barbecue him.
He is only guilty of having an opinion. The one thing the rest of us are to scared to have in case it offends someone. He is the last proper Brit on telly. If the BBC ban him or Top Gear, then it isn't just a loss for entertainment TV, but a loss for what we are. This man should not be removed from TV, he should be made prime minister. His attitude is the attitude we want MP's to have. We want people in the commons to grow bollocks and tell other country's, immigrants, and the bloody do-gooders to fuck off.
Find the petition, sign it.

Must be time to vote. . . . .

2015-02-10T11:28:00.000-08:00

So voting must be upon us. I have been getting numerous emails from Cameron and his peers. All claiming that the other parties are suggesting something shit, donate £xxx to help us object to it.
Seriously guys? How stupid are you?
Labour wants me to donate £25 so they can say 'we want to do idea x'
Conservatives want me to donate £25 so they can tell Labour that 'idea x is shit'
The other party that no one can remember the name of (Conservatives Junior?), but have been up the conservatives arses for the past few years want me to donate £25 so they can stand behind the conservatives, looking over Cameron's shoulder, shaking his fist at Labour shouting 'Yeah, or else'
The green party want me to donate £25 so they can hide in the bogs, smoking weed and hugging each other.
And UKip want me to donate £25 so they can stand behind the speaker of the commons, with ripped shirts, bandannas, flicking the bird at everyone screaming 'FUCK YOU ALL!!!!'

And these are the choices we have?
And people wonder why I don't vote.

Vivitar DVR 892HD review.

2013-09-08T02:38:00.000-07:00

So I have been after an action/pocket camera for quite some time. Looking around I found the Vivitar DVR 892HD for a reasonable price. It came with an SD card, and software, etc..

After arriving, it wasn't until a few days later I decided to try it out.
It wouldn't work.
It would turn on and nothing would happen. So I was going to send it back.
The next day, I needed an SD card for a quick file transfer, and seeing the camera I decided to take the card out and use it. I put it in my computer, and the computer said it was locked. Took it out and checked it. Slider in unlocked position. Tried again. Card locked.
So wondering if this was the problem with the camera, I put another SD card in it. Lo and behold, it worked.
So I took a couple of films to try it out. Took card out and put it in computer, card locked. Checked tab. It said unlocked. Put it back in computer, and it said it was locked. Put card in camera and camera stopped working.
I tried a third card, with the same results. Worked fine. Went in camera. Recorded. Card in computer. Locked. Back in camera, and camera stopped working.

Now before people suggest my card reader is at fault, I would like to point out several things.
1. The first card went into camera first.
2. Second card was erased by computer before going into camera.
3. Third card came straight from my stack of formatted cards into camera.
4. Since then, I have used the card reader successfully to read and save onto other cards.
5. Tried cards in card reader on another computer.

So I can only surmise that somehow this camera damages cards to incapacitate then to some extent. How? I have no idea.
And to be honest, the Video quality isn't that great either.

One final issue with the camera, when plugging it into the PC, the PC cannot detect it. So you cant just fit a card and leave it in there either.

The camera came with an 8gb card, and also destroyed a 16gig card and a 4gig card.

So if you are coming across this blog wile researching this camera, do not buy it.

This is what is wrong with this world. . .

2013-07-09T02:32:00.000-07:00

I am not going to rant about this, but this is one of the many reasons we should not be in Europe.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-23230419

So Europe has decided the life sentences of three killers goes against their human rights?
/sigh.

My Volvo V40

2013-02-28T13:01:00.000-08:00

Well, I have owned this car for a little over 2 weeks now and so far?

It's nice.

It's nice to look at, it's nice to drive, it's nice to be in, it's nice and comfortable, it's nice and relaxing, it's nice and fuss free, it's gear change is nice, it's handling is nice, economy is nice, the heated leather seats are nice, and hold you in a nice way, the visibility is nice, the heater is nice.

I can't say anything bad really.

Except one thing.

It's nice.

Don't get me wrong, I like the car. It is hard not to. But I like it in the same way I like not having the clap.

It is a lot of car. It has enough toys to keep anyone happy. It has nice features like the light you home headlamps, and the little plastic clip on the windscreen for holding parking tickets.
I can get in it knowing that it will work. It's a Volvo for christ sake. As long as it has an engine and 4 wheels, it will work. It is not an unpleasant car.

But, it isn't fun.
The Vitara I had was fun. No matter where I drove, I did so with a smile on my face. The Vitara was fun to drive, fun to be in, fun to look at, fun knowing that despite having a foot of snow on the roof, it will still start and go. I got in it with a smile on my face, and I got out with a smile on my face. I put that car through hell and back, and it just laughed back with that look of 'Let's do it again' about it. The exhaust got ripped off in blaenau ffestiniog, and it charged down the M5 sounding like a WW2 fighter bomber. I had ear defenders on my head, and I still had a smile on my face.

I don't get that fun factor in the Volvo, but to be fair, a Volvo isn't meant to be fun. It's meant to be,
Well....

Nice.

Lady goes to market?

2013-02-22T13:41:00.000-08:00

"Lady goes to Market, Prim prim prim.
Gentleman goes to market, Trott, trott, trott.
But the farmer goes to market, Jigga jigga jigga jigga jigga jigga jig."

These words were often recited to me while I was growing up. Mostly by my Grandmother on the Smith side of the family. All my infanthood, I heard this. As younger cousins grew up, I heard these words, As the children of my elder cousins grew, they were subjected to these words.
So it is only natural that I recite these words to my children as they grow.

I thought this was a common rhyme. Said when jigging the child upon your knee. But while recently visiting my youngest child, his mother told me off for saying it, because it is 'made up shit'.

So in a lull from my usual internet activities, I decide to google this rhyme.
1 result.
Yep, just one result.
A very brief mention of the rhyme, on emma's diary.
That is it.
So is this rhyme rare, or is the lack of info about it on the net a sign that rhymes are dying?
Maybe, it is a Black Country rhyme. As my grandmother was from there.
Who knows. But because of the lack of mentions of it, I decided to give it one.

Lady goes to Market, Prim prim prim.
Gentleman goes to market, Trott, trott, trott.
But the farmer goes to market, Jigga jigga jigga jigga jigga jigga jig.

Wierd things I think of #1

2012-10-10T07:49:00.000-07:00

Car ages:

I was thinking earlier, that the car I currently own is the newest I have owned. It is a 1997 P reg.
Or is it?
It is the newest in the sense that it is newer than the rest of the cars I have owned, if I still had them all. But is it the newest car relative to when I owned it?
No

My first car was a 1982 Austin maxi. I owned this in 1993. So that was 11 years old.
Next was a MK4 Cortina. 1976. It was 17 years old when I owned it in 1993.
Next was a 1983 Ford Escort MK3. I owned this in 1994. 11 years old.
Mk3 Capri. 1983 again. I had this in 1995. 12 years old.
Sierra Sapphire. 1987. I owned this in 1995. 8 years old.
Mk3 Escort. 1982. Owned in 97. 15 years old.
Peugeot 309GTi. 1988. owned in 98. 10 years old.
Mk2 Sierra. 1990. owned in 2000. 10 years old.
MK5 Escort. 1993. Owned in 2002. 9 years old.
Vauxhall Senator. 1992. owned in 2004. 12 years old.
Renault Espace. 1990. Owned in 2004. 14 years old.
LDV200. 1997. Owned in 2005. 8 years old.
Vauxhall Astra. 1996. Owned in 2007. 11 years old.
Suzuki Vitara. 1997. Owned in 2008. 11 years old.
Vauxhall Frontera. 1997. Owned now. 15 years old.

So the Sierra Sapphire, and the LDV200 were both 8 years old when I got them. So maybe they were the newest cars I have ever owned?

But there is one last thing to consider. I used to be the registered keeper of a van that the re-enactment group I am with once owned. We bought it in early 2000, and it was a 1997 N reg. So could that be the newest car I have owned?
We had it 10 years before we scrapped it in 2010. It did us well.

The naked Rambler.

2012-10-05T03:51:00.000-07:00

RE: BBC News
I see nothing wrong here.
It is the prudishness of others that cause a problem. I reckon if the naked rambler was a woman, then there would be no problems.
Hiding the human body is a way of saying we should be embarrassed about our bodies. Well we shouldn't. Our bodies are part of who we are. No one should ever be embarrassed about who they are. Why should we cover up to spare the blushes of others. We come into the world naked, we create life naked and for the early parts of our evolution we were naked. Clothes are there to keep us warm, not keep us hidden. Yes there is an element of decency in wearing clothes, but this again has evolved from fashion. Not from necessity.
This guy should be left alone to do whatever he is doing in peace. He is harming no one except himself.

Another thought, by telling people that the body must be covered, you end up with people embarrassed about their bodies. I have had several partners over the years that refused to wear skirts, short sleeved or strapped tops, or even shorts on extremely hot days. Why? Because they were embarrassed about their bodies. I myself used to refuse wearing shorts for many years due to scarring on my legs. One day, it was just too hot to be wearing jeans so I cut the legs off. I haven't looked back since.

Enjoy your body. It is the only one you will ever have.

Royal photos.

2012-09-18T10:34:00.000-07:00

So Prince Harry gets naked, with friends, at a private party. Photo's are leaked, and the publike are outraged at his behaviour.

Kate Middleton gets naked on holiday, a pervy photographer takes a picture, and the public sympathise with her.

What's the difference between the two?
Why is Harry being singled out here?
Why does the public hate Harry so much, when all he has done nothing wrong. I bet many of you have been naked at parties. I know I have.

My new car.

2012-08-30T19:14:00.001-07:00

Well a few weeks back, I decided to part with my lovely Suzuki Vitara.
There was 2 reasons for this.
1. It was starting to rust badly.
2. Strange noise from transfer box.
I had been fairly lucky with this car. It had done me proud, lasted well and has been relatively cheap to repair. (compared to previous cars).
my new choice of chariot is a Vauxhall Frontera.
Even though it is not the best model of the group, it is still a very good car and I got it for a very good price.
However, it isn't without flaw.
The first flaw is that you only have 10 seconds from unlocking the car to turning ignition on. Which means, you cant unlock the car, put your shopping in, strap the kids in then get in and start it. Oh no, you have to unlock and turn it on within 10 seconds. This is a pain in the arse.
The second fault was that before I had it, it had to have a repair to the fuel line. Somehow, the repair had come adrift resulting in me using £60 of petrol in 70 miles. Trip back to garage fixed this in 2 minutes.
Other than that, it has been an awesome car so far. Nice to drive, comfortable to sit in, easy to control. I have enjoyed every minute behind the wheel.
The only issue with it is me. I have spent the best part of the last 4 years driving a low geared car. Which meant I could go up hills in top gear, where most cars would have to change down a gear. Now I drive one of these cars, and I keep forgetting. So end up bogging down on hills.
Tis a minor inconvenience.

It's not f*cking PETROL!!

2012-07-07T03:18:00.001-07:00

There is nothing worse, when outside trying to have a little 'quiet' time. I say quiet time, but what I really mean is taking 10 minutes out to play with my radio controlled model cars. Not toys, models.
They are mainly Tamiya, but recently I acquired a Haboa Hyper 7 .21. Where as all the Tamiya cars are electric, the Hyper 7 is nitro fuelled. But while trying to have quiet time, you get the local oiks coming up and giving it the 'wot you doin' mister?' or 'nice petrol car'.
What really pisses me of is when people call them 'petrol cars'. They aren't. They use a fuel called nitro so no petrol there. And the engine is basically a 2 stroke diesel engine. It has a glow plug not a spark plug, and the lubrication is supplied by the fuel.
It's a nice car, I got it second hand as 'faulty'. I was told the reverse doesn't work, and it cuts out on full revs. For a start, not many nitro cars have a reverse. And cutting out on full revs is a sign of poor tuning.
Once I got it home, I cleaned it and tried to start it. It was trying to fire, but it just didn't have the balls.
A quick visit by my brother in law, who has vast knowledge of nitro cars, and we managed to get it running. A few tweeks and I now have a working car.
It does need a stronger steering servo, but it is drivable. So all in all I am quite happy with it.
Not a bad car really.

My Vitara

2012-06-26T16:57:00.000-07:00

I would like to tell you about my Suzuki Vitara.
It is quite possibly the best car I have ever owned. I have no idea what the Suzuki Vitara insurance group is, but it only costs £280 a year to insure for me. It's fuel consumption is in around 25mpg which is quite high for a 1600, but reasonable for a petrol 4x4.
It is a reliable vehicle, and apart from consumables (tyres, fluids, filters, etc) the car has cost less than £500 in repairs in the 4.5 years I have owned it. And as it only cost me £500 I think that is quite a bargain.
It is my first 4x4 vehicle, and I quite enjoy using it off road. As a four wheel drive vehicle, it is more than capable on most terrain. It's only downside is its low belly. But hopefully, in a few months, I will have sorted this problem.
As after the next MOT, I will start beefing it up in earnest to create a nice looking, capable 4x4 car.

Hamster

2012-06-26T14:58:00.000-07:00

Today I aquired a pet hamster.
Purely by accident, I didn't go out to buy one. I didn't buy this one. But when you go round someones house, and they laugh and joke about getting a hamster by accident, and how they are waiting for it to die, even naming the hamster 'not dead yet', I just had to step in.
Yes it's a hamster, yes you can get them for a couple of quid. But still it's an animal. A living and breathing creature.
So they gave it to me, along with a massive bag of sawdust, and a tiny bag of food.
I got it home and after seeing the kids off I cleaned out the meagre little cage that it was calling home.
There was dried in shit covering the built in wheel, they had used the cotton type bedding which is dangerous for hamsters. And the plastic was filthy. So I sat the now renamed hamster (Pepper by the way, as she is pure white and my daughter said she looked like the mints I ate. (peppermint imperials)) into the bowl of a salad spinner, and got to work with some hot water and a rag. By the time I had finished, the cage was much cleaner, but in my opinion it is far too small for the hamster. So maybe tomorrow, I will go into the loft and dig out my small aquarium and convert it into a habitat for the little mite. Will also grab some measurements from the aquarium so I can fit a table in there.
No idea how old she is, but a rough guess would put her at 2. She will enjoy whatever life remains in her.

Rain

2012-06-23T17:57:00.000-07:00

Why do people always complain about the rain?
I welcome it.
I love the way the world looks under the silhouette of the cloud and with the glisten of the moisture upon the greenery which becomes so much more vibrant and alive with the help of a bit of rain.
I love the freshness of the air after a good storm. The smell of the fields accentuated by the damp air that surrounds me.
I love being in the rain, feeling the droplets of life excite my skin as they gently fall upon me. The pitter patter of the drops on leaves, on the window, on the car and especially on the canvas of my tent while camping. I find it relaxing like natures rhythm, telling you that the world is alive and growing. Each little drop eventually gathering to sustain the life of millions of creatures.
I love rain and I really can't understand why people hate it so much.
So you get a little bit wet?
Be thankful for the rain. The day it stops, will be the greyest day of all.

Jimmy Carr and taxes.

2012-06-21T03:37:00.001-07:00

OK, my first rant.

I cannot see why Jimmy Carr had to apologise and stop his completely legal tax avoidance scheme.
Source
I think it unfair that he was singled out in this way.
They are on about prosecuting him, and forcing him to pay back the unpaid tax.
Why should they?
About a year ago, UK ministers were criticised for wasting taxes on stupid expense claims. Ministers claiming for second homes, staff that didn't exist and in one case, a house for ducks. Many of these claims were for over £50,000 in total. And were any of these people prosecuted? No.
So I think that before these ministers complain about Jimmy Carr's tax avoidance, perhaps they should look at themselves for wasting taxes.
All these ministers that stole all this money of false expense claims, not one was prosecuted. Yet the total bill was several millions.

Fair play to Jimmy Carr for finding a loop hole.

Introduction.

2012-06-21T03:23:00.000-07:00

I always wanted to start a blog. Never knew how to get into it. But after some reseach and a desire to share my wealth of knowledge on other subjects, I started on. Now I know how easy it is, I thought I would start another one for my own personal musings.
So here it is.
Come on in, sit yourself down, and read about the storms that rage in my mind, or the things that get me asking why? how? what? when? where?

About me.
My name is Jason Stokes, and after googling my name I am not the American Sportsman. Thus trying to get jasonstokes as a blog name was nigh on impossible.
So I tried my initials. J.L.S. But apparently there is some child boy band with that name. I am currently suing them for using my name.
So I had to call myself jasonstokescouk which was ok as I already owned the domain www.jasonstokes.co.uk so that sort of worked.

Anyway, my name is Jason. I am a single parent currently out of work, and trying to find work at the mo that fits in with my kids.
I live in the North Wiltshire area.
Hobbies and interests include, but are not limited to:
Radio Controlled cars,
Computers and gaming,
Drumming,
Model making (to be fair, I haven't done this properly in over 15 years)
Walking around,
and exploring abandoned mines.

I am the sort of person that will look at both sides of an argument or dispute, and will rarely take sides unless there is evidence to support one being a stronger candidate. My blog will often contain these sort of views.

I know it's early days, but I hope you enjoy reading that which I choose to share with you.

Jason.