“What’s ‘unrequited love’ mean?”  That’s the opening line from my son when I picked him up from school earlier today.

As any experienced parent knows, this is the type of question that doesn’t deserve an immediate answer.  It deserves another question. So I say, “Why do you ask?”

“Well, this girl at school said that she had ‘unrequited love’ for me.  I don’t know what she’s talking about.”

It sounds to me as if this girl may not only be more mature than my son but she also has a better vocabulary.

I start thinking about how to best answer his question and my mind veers onto the nostalgia road where I recall a few personal “unrequited love” stories from my tween/teen years.

• There was that time I spent an entire day at a country fair trailing after a boy while watching him win a bevy of carnival booty. It wasn’t until he unloaded my arms and thanked me for carrying the stuff that I realized it wasn’t for me! After downing a chili dog, cotton candy and a large diet soda, I accepted that he didn’t feel the same way about me and I moved on. I stayed positive and focused on the possibility that someone, one day, might want to give me something just as cute but even more valuable than a huge plush frog.

• In high school I’d worked up the nerve to introduce myself to a guy whom I’d admired from a distance. His reply, “Please call me William; Bill is so pedestrian.” I was quickly reminded that just because someone looks good doesn’t mean that he is good – at least not for me. I’m sure there was someone out there who’d be happy to call him William and live with him happily-ever-after.

Enough time had passed by that my son probably thought I was having what he calls a “brain fart”; I finally gave an answer:

“Unrequited love is when someone you like doesn’t like you back in the same way. It’s when one person feels more strongly about another person.”

“Oh.  You mean she might like me?”

And with that question I saw the difference between boys and girls shining brightly in my car. Some guys just take a while to catch on. Is it unrequited love or unknown love? It’s hard to tell the difference unless you’re willing to risk finding out.

A Valentine’s Day Flip Side

Getting Over Him in 8 Songs Or Less is an animated, adult story about a losing love and finding yourself.  Directed, co-produced and animated by Debra Solomon, this multi-talented lady also wrote the eight songs, sings them and narrates the show! Anyone who’s had a failed love will relate and Debra will leave you with a smile and song that helps you move along. For a peek click here: Getting Over Him in 8 Songs or Less HBO-2 on Sunday, February 14 at 6:30 p.m. CST.  (No paid-promo here…I’m just telling all my friends who like to see things created by amazingly talented women to be sure to watch!)

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by Expert Mommy, Diane Asyre

When people ask me what I do and I tell them I co-create an online community for moms, they often follow up with, “That is so cool! How did you decide to do that?” Depending on the window of time available (that I can sometimes gauge by the amount of liquid they have left in their glass), I go into a version of the following narrative:

A couple of years ago, I went to a conference in Chicago called Successful and Outstanding Bloggers. At the time, I had another business and my purpose for being there was to learn how blogging could help promote it. I didn’t know any of these people (Chris Brogan, Brian Clark, Terry Starbucker, Liz Strauss, Chris Garrett, David Bullock et. al.) but my takeaway message from the speakers that weekend was that whatever you do is… YOU!

I had spent the last few years in an existential turmoil. Whatever it was that they said, individually and as a group, made it self-evident that I was asking the wrong questions. Almost immediately after that weekend in May, my entire existence changed. Seriously.

I left a failing marriage. I moved out of a giant house and into a tiny apartment. I started My Mommy Manual with the technical assistance of Michelle Vandepas and Jesse Petersen, both whom I met at SOBCon. Because of all my new SOBCon friends like @shashib and @JenChicago and @tojosan, I started engaging in social media and in the process, discovered who I was and how to really show up in my life, both online and off.

“Relationships are mirrors.”

So said Leonardo da Vinci. Or at least, so said Leonardo according to my amazing new good friend, Scott Ginsburg. (If you want doses of daily inspiration, follow @nametagscott) This is how relationships matter. Each and every one holds up a projection of yourself to yourself. Is that totally awesome or what?!

Following this line of thinking it’s no surprise that I was meeting new people, as I discovered aspects of myself that were completely new to me too. Because of Twitter, I met Elizabeth Hannan and Chris Brogan at another conference, who in turn introduced me to Lewis Howes, who introduced me to David Garland, both of whom are great professional and personal contacts. Concurrently, I met my seriously awesome online friend, John Haydon who introduced me to one of my BFF’s and collaborators in work and life, Jen Wright (who I’ve never met in real life) who introduced me to Morgan Day Cecil who interviewed me for her Single Mom Revolution podcast. Because of a post I wrote called How to Change Your Life I met the woman whose book actually introduced me to this concept of relationships as mirrors, bestselling author Sarah Susanka. I actually got to interview her about it! (I love my life!) Dozens of connections continue to happen just like that, like neurons firing and igniting the next one.

Regardless of my role in whatever project I undertake my litmus test has become, who am I in this “relationship?” Is this a reflection of me that I want to nurture? Here, I am Practical Mommy. In sharing my life with you I am in relationship with you. You are my mirrors too. I source a bunch of experts to answer your questions because they are my questions as I parent my kids. Who am I as I do this? I’m a supportive friend, a good listener, an empowered mom.

I used to say that being a stay-at-home mom was the toughest job I’d ever had, not just physically but also mentally and spiritually. Without a really strong foundation in Self, it was easy to lose my balance to the caring of my husband and children. Again all around me, my girlfriends (all wives and mothers) were mirrors. Theirs (ours) was the pain that inspired me to start My Mommy Manual. Suzanne and I wanted a forum for moms to find support, not only for the practical aspects of parenting but also for their own wellness and growth. This is why one of my favorite interviews of all time is the one I just did with Heidi Howes (Yes, Lewis’ sister) on How to Keep Following Your Bliss.

I wrote this post as a response to Terry Starbucker’s request for examples on how The Virtual Meets the Concrete, how an online person has made a difference in my life. Fitting since Terry is the co-founder of that conference I attended two years ago. In a way, SOBCon08 started it all… when I sat in that room and figured out that the answer was not in what I was doing but who I was BEING!

Online and offline posse, including: @ZenMommy, @JavaSTL, @kidsroomdecor, @Extraordmommy, @nametagscott, @dianeasyre, @CosmosGirl

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Practical Mommy is Ria Sharon, co-creator of My Mommy Manual and the online parenting course, Yogi Parenting. Click the links for Practical Mommy’s recommendations for travel car seats, affordable and fun diaper bags (skip hop bag), and the best-selling crib brand, Da Vinci Crib.

Last week, we heard Elena Verlee’s tips on finding your passion. The next in our series is singer-songwriter, Heidi Howes. Heidi definitely has a passion for music but… how does she feed that passion as a busy mom of two kids? In our interview, Heidi shares her struggles with balancing being the mom she wants to be with fulfilling her own dreams!

Interview with Heidi Howes (AUDIO 3:09)

Heidi has been a guest with us before, sharing her Postpartum Depression journey. You can listen to tracks from Heidi’s upcoming CD, Mother Songs here.

Related Articles
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Practical Mommy is Ria Sharon. Co-creator of My Mommy Manual and the online parenting course, Yogi Parenting.Click the links for Practical Mommy’s recommendations for travel car seats, affordable and fun diaper bags (skip hop bag), and the best-selling crib brand, Da Vinci Crib.

Our Yogi Parenting audio tips are presented every Friday by Michaela Turner, BS Ed, CYKT, YKT, Co-Founder Yogi Parenting

Listen to this :15 AUDIO TIP:

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Michaela is a 30 year veteran educator and a Certified YogaKids Teacher and Trainer. She teaches yoga baby and yoga kids classes for children throughout St. Louis, Missouri. As the Co-founder of the online parenting course, Yogi Parenting, Michaela offers tips on parenting and seminars nationally, blending her joy for yoga with her love for children.

During pregnancy, a great deal of energy is exerted in preparation for the physical arrival of a new baby. Between multiple prenatal appointments, purchasing baby supplies, and taking childbirth classes, there is a limitless list of things to do before the birth. However, amongst all the physical preparations, there is a key aspect of birth preparation that’s often overlooked: the emotional preparation. Emotions, whether negative or positive, have a profound impact on pregnancy, birth and parenthood and it is vitally important for expectant couples to explore their emotions before the birth of their baby. Human emotions are complex and the process of exploring them cannot be condensed into a quick-and-easy “how to” list. However, here are some tips to help facilitate beginning this process:

• Start some dialogues with your partner about how/when you each learned about pregnancy and birth as a child. Then follow-up with dialogue about how those early experiences may have shaped your current perceptions about birth in a positive or negative way.

• Consider exploring what fears you may have and discuss them with your partner, a trusted friend, or simply journal about them. Remember to think about fears pertaining to all aspects of birth: pregnancy, body-image, the birth process, adjusting to motherhood, changing relationships, etc. Certain fears may be at the forefront of a person’s mind, such as a fear of pain during labor, but other fears may be not as obvious. Open-ended sentences are a great tool to help uncover underlying fears, such as “A fear I have about becoming a mother is…”. Even if you have a fear that seems ridiculous, it is important to get it out in the open, as this is first step in overcoming one’s fears.

• You may have heard the story of your own birth before, but now is a wonderful time to ask your mother more specific questions about your birth. Perhaps ask her what she was feeling emotionally before, during, and after your birth. And if you have a strained relationship with your mother, consider making strides toward mending, if it’s appropriate.

• If you’re not a first-time mother, make sure you’ve had adequate time to process the emotions from your previous birth experiences. This is especially important if you had a particularly traumatic birth, including women who’ve had previous c-sections and are now desiring a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean).

• If you have ever been a victim of abuse of any kind, consider seeking professional counseling, if you haven’t done so previously. The emotional scars of abuse (especially sexual abuse) are deeply rooted and can interfere with the normal progression of labor and birth.

Birth, like every other rite-of-passage, is not a one-dimensional event. Rather, it is holistic, meaning that it affects the body, mind and spirit. Approaching one’s birth from this perspective makes for healthier births, happier mothers, babies and families!

by Expert Mommy, Sarah Baker

Did you know that children who learn to eat healthy early in life are more likely to continue good eating habits as they get older?

I’ve had friends who didn’t bother to try and feed their child anything beyond standard kid-fare because to them it was a losing battle they didn’t have the energy to fight. If this is you, you’re not alone.

One way to get your son excited about eating healthy is to involve him in the cooking process. Even at a young age, there are plenty of opportunities to help without making more of work than help for mom.

1. Get them involved in cooking healthy meals – for example, have them help you shop for the ingredients at the grocery store.  This can also be a good opportunity to teach them about food labels and the food groups.  Kids will enjoy helping you plan meals that include all of the food groups and they will love that you are welcoming their input. Also, this allows them to pick out healthy foods that they like, which will ensure that they eat them. They can also help you in the kitchen – give them age appropriate tasks that make them feel included in the preparation of the meal.  Kids will be more likely to try a new food or dish if they’ve helped you prepare it.
2. Explain to your son the benefits of eating healthy food – depending on the child’s age, your explanation will vary, but the basic concept that you want to get across is that the healthier food they eat, the healthier their bodies will be.  For a child who plays a sport, this might be even more relevant – they may be more willing to eat more wholesome foods if they understand that this will help them to do better in soccer/hockey/baseball etc.
3. Make healthy eating a contest – for example, see who can build the best “monster” or house out of healthy ingredients like celery, peanut butter, crackers, etc.  Kids will naturally want to compete and eat healthy snacks.
4. Give children a specific day of each week where they can pick out what the snack will be.
5. Plant a vegetable garden with your kids – again, getting them involved in growing the vegetables will make them more inclined to eat them and also potentially get them to try new things.
6. Give children healthy foods in fun shapes – use cookie cutters to cut sandwiches or arrange fruits and vegetables in fun ways on their plate.
7. Have children help you make smoothies – they are a delicious way to get fruit, yogurt, juice, or even vegetables into their diets.  Try to limit the amount of sugar as much as you can by using plain yogurt or juice with no added sugar.  If you use plain yogurt and fruit and need to add a little sweetness, use honey.
8. Tell them that if they want to become a super hero, they need to go through super hero training and that all super heroes are required to eat veggies as part of their training. Green vegetables give you extra points to earn you extra super powers.

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Expert Mommy, Renee Martinez

I have to admit a while back, I didn’t think we would have snow by the Holidays. Two weeks before Christmas I was still going out with just a light coat and shoes that are not snow friendly. Today is a different story, not just with me but also with my kids. All of a sudden they have to wear snow pants, boots, mittens, hats and winter coats to school! Fortunately I have those things for them by now but what about a place to put all the outerwear when the kiddies come home from school or in from playing in the yard? When we first moved into our house the door from the outside entered directly into my kitchen right by the refrigerator. I have to tell you it drove me nuts. There was a trail of hats, mittens, coats, snow pants and boots all through my small galley kitchen. There had to be a better solution that would work for everyone. Not to mention the baby carrier, my purse and all my things, where do I put them? After some grief and lots of thinking I arrived at a couple solutions and I think you can implement them into your own home too.

Solution 1.

If you have an entry like I did there is not any wall space to hang coats and such. I created a “drop zone just outside the door in my garage. Affixed with a boot mat and hooks in the wall for coats and snow pants. Yes, it is cold out there, but when I had a chance I would bring the items in and throw wet things in the dryer and set the boots to dry in our front entry. When the items were dry I hung them on hooks I screwed into the inside of the closet door. Three on the top part and 3 on the bottom so everyone could reach.

Solution 2.

If you have a small entry with either no closet or a small closet, hooks are your best friends. I like the hooks mounted 2 ways. One, hang in 2 parallel rows a high row and a low row. Second, one lower row can work well for all members of the family.  With these ways any child can reach the hooks to hang their own coat. A smaller child can use a step stool so you don’t have to hang the hooks to low and change often. Family hats and mittens can be stored underneath in individual bins, boot can be set next to them or on a boot tray in the hall way.

Solution 3.

This solution is for those of you that have a large hall closet or mudroom.  I am a firm believer in organizing systems. Check out Rubbermaid, Container Store and Ikea there are many organizing systems to choose from for every budget. These systems make the best use of space with many different solutions. You might want different cubbies for all the family members or a row of hooks with a shelf above and below. Whatever you choose examples of these configurations can usually be seen on the company’s individual websites.

Do you see, there is a light at the end of the tunnel with all the shoes and coats. All you need is a little direction and creativity. You are a smart cookie and any of these solutions will add a bit more peace to your everyday routine. Remember if the pile always ends up in one spot think about what you can implement to alleviate the pile and make life simpler for you, the busy, busy Mom. Cheers!

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Expert Mommy, Julie Verleger

DBS5YBHSEPRK

Welcome our sweet babies, Hadley and Colin Tucker, born Monday, February 1 at 9:58 and 10:02am weighing 6# 7oz and 6# 4oz.

We feel SO blessed and are thankful for all your thoughts and prayers all these months!

Photos will follow I promise….

With love,
Shawn, Suzanne, Reilly and Morgan

Related Articles:

37 Weeks : Crystal Ball
36 Weeks : Pre-Birth ENERGY
35 Weeks : House Arrest
34 Weeks : Like “Cantaloupes”
33 Weeks : Blessingways and Birth
32 Weeks : Other New Moms & Icing
31 Weeks : Newborn Baby Checklists
30 Weeks : Sage “New-Mom” Advice from a Friend
29 Weeks : Placental Encapsulation
28 Weeks : Pregnancy Calf Cramps to Wake the DEAD
27 Weeks : Holiday Maternity Fashion Tips
26 Weeks : The Nursery
25 Weeks : Back to Baby Names
24 Weeks : Cord Blood
23 Weeks : Baby Fat
22 Weeks : Baby(s) Moving! Time for Belly Massage
21 Weeks : Flu Bug
20 Weeks : Parents As Teachers
19 Weeks : Sleep
18 Weeks : Breastfeeding
17 Weeks : Childbirth
16 Weeks : Sex of the Babies. We’re having…
15 Weeks : Baby name Game
14 Weeks : Prenatal Yoga
13 Weeks : Mindful Nesting
12 Weeks : My Changing Pregnant Body
How Spirit Moves

ZenMommy’s Pregnancy Journal is published in partnership with MILK Nursingwear, offering the freshest nursingwear on the planet.

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Suzanne Tucker, aka Zen Mommy

In addition to mommying to two magical girls born in 2000 and 2003 and twins in Jan of 2010, Suzanne co-owns a holistic health center with her husband Shawn in St. Louis, Missouri where she practices as a physical therapist, Certified Educator of  Infant Massage and health education teacher. Certified in a number of healing and life education approaches, Suzanne is a Co-creator of My Mommy Manual and the online parenting course, Yogi Parenting, a positive parenting approach for raising kids of all ages.

Are you pregnant or a new mom with a new little someone to love? If so, watch this quick and informative interview with Expert Mommy, Debbie Hipp on everything you need to know before hiring a sitter, Nanny or Doula to help you out at home.

Support is the KEY… you’ll hear that message over and over here on My Mommy Manual. So whether you ask family, go through and agency or hire someone on your own, make sure you are getting the support you need. Watch this video full of great tips, links and more. And if you have any questions for our expert mom, just type them in the comment section below and our Mommy Expert will get back to you. Congrats on your new (or soon to be!) arrival.

Related Articles:
How to Hire a Sitter for a Sick Child
How to Find a Sitter or Nanny

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Suzanne Tucker, aka Zen Mommy
In addition to mommying to two magical girls born in 2000 and 2003 and expecting twins in Jan of 2010, Suzanne co-owns a holistic health center with her husband Shawn in St. Louis, Missouri  where she practices as a physical therapist, Certified Infant Massage Instructor and health education teacher. Certified in a number of healing and life education approaches, Suzanne offers life coaching as Zen Mommy Coach and is the co-creator of the parenting course,  Yogi Parenting.

Our Yogi Parenting audio tips are presented every Friday by Michaela Turner, BS Ed, CYKT, YKT, Co-Founder Yogi Parenting

Listen to this :15 AUDIO TIP:

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Michaela is a 30 year veteran educator and a Certified YogaKids Teacher and Trainer. She teaches yoga baby and yoga kids classes for children throughout St. Louis, Missouri. As the Co-founder of the online parenting course, Yogi Parenting, Michaela offers tips on parenting and seminars nationally, blending her joy for yoga with her love for children.