My Not So Ordinary Life

Time Apart

2011-04-06T11:09:00.001+08:00

March 15, 2011

It’s the first time in our marriage that my husband went away for one week. I thought that I’m not going to survive such long separation but for the first four days I was doing fine. It was like as if my whole body was ready for it and my mind was making me busy with attending to my kids and doing some writing. And I was thinking that maybe this separation time was great for us to also have our own individuality. So off I went with my everyday tasks of doing the laundry, doing some cooking, writing a few articles and taking care of our two sons.

Then the fifth day came and I was having a heavy heart. Maybe because I’m missing my husband already or maybe I just don’t want to feel alone. I went to buy some groceries and usually my husband would follow there after work so we could go home together but that day was different. It was like as if the thought of him being away had already sunk in and I had to admit I can’t take it. With so many miles in between me and my loved one was not for me.

For those husbands and wives apart from each other because one has to work far or abroad, I have to say that I salute your courage to take such challenge. But I realized that it’s not for me. We both promised that if one goes out of the country or move somewhere then the family goes too, no matter what. We do not want to experience ourselves the life of being not together.

Oh it would be a nice thought to have high income with a spouse working abroad. However, I would give up those comforts as long as we are intact. I am willing to sacrifice some things just so I can be with my family. I don’t want to dwell on thinking of what it would be like if we are distant from each other.

This is my choice of life. Life is short so I’m investing my time on family relationships. I want to have a close family. I’m not saying that families with a parent working away in a distance are not intact for some have healthy relationships even if they are not together. All I’m saying is that I like the way things are going right now with my family being all here in one place.

So for those families with a member in another country to give a comfortable life back home, don’t despair. You chose to have a life like that. You are a willing participant to such a life. Stand by your decision. In the end, all the things you have let go to have a life of financial abundance for now may be worth it. As for me, I’ll work my ass off where I am sitting so I can contribute to give a little ease of burden on my husband’s part as he is the family’s breadwinner and do as much as I can to spend time with my little kids who are growing very fast by the minute.

From a Concerned Mother

2011-03-29T11:03:00.000+08:00

March 29, 2011

video

I just added a link to the video if a 6 year old boy who joined a mini game in the show of Willie Revillame as we all know Willing Willie. Amidst the laughter and cheering of the host and audience, you can clearly see that the boy never cracked a smile. The whole time that he was talked to by the host, his facial expression was somber. And when the music was giving him the cue to start dancing, he started crying but he still danced on. Sad to say that Willie, the audience and even some viewers at home was enjoying at the expense of the boy's humiliation in national tv and now the world. Fine, he was doing it for his family because he earned some money dancing away. But dancing the way he did was utterly diminishing what little dignity he had. It was simply below the belt. And Willie continued to embarrass the boy by letting Jan-jan dance even after the talent portion and mini show was finished. For the life of me I cannot understand the boy's tita cheering him on for a mere hug and P3,000 Willie gave her. Was that the worth of her self-respect? And P10,000 was the boy's life worth?

Did they not think even for just a second what if it was their own son doing such dance? What was going on their minds while applauding for the boy?

I am a mother of two sons and they love to dance. But not the dance that Jan-jan did. That kind of dance is seen in night clubs and for adults only. Or maybe I am just trying to overlook that these kind of shows have sexy dancers doing the same dance on prime time television. That's why as much as I can I check the shows that my kids watch. For Jan-jan, it was his father and his tita who taught him such dance. I can't judge them harshly as life may be harsh to them to do such desperate moves to win some cash to augment their daily living costs sacrificing their child for a few minutes in a show. Is that what these shows push the people to do? Losing their dignity just to have some easy money. To those who are willing it can be but to do that to a child is such exploitation and harassment. People may dismiss it and forget it someday but for Jan-jan he will bring that memory to him until he grows up and I fervently hope and pray that it does not define his future.

On Weddings and Marriage

2011-03-24T18:13:00.001+08:00

March 7, 2011

A lot of my dear friends are getting married nowadays. In just a span of three months, four of them are finally hitched. One thing I love about weddings is when the bride starts walking the aisle towards her groom. That moment really turns my heart into mush and my eyes just brim with tears. It always makes me go back to the time I did my own walk down the aisle. A feeling of overwhelming pure joy. A sense of fulfillment that no one can measure. It’s more than being in cloud 9, it was a piece of your own heavenly moment. And it’s all mine for the taking. It even gives me goose bumps while writing this, taking me back to my very own blissful moment. No matter how I describe that moment only the married ones can relate to that, sorry singles.

Weddings are great manifestations of the love shared by the couple. It‘s as if the couple have overflowing love that they need to give away their joy with relatives and friends in such a traditional way. I read love stories of people getting married saying that their story is unique, that their chemistry is just amazing and that few people ever find such love. But I would like to disagree. If that were true, then only a few would get married and settle down.

I would like to believe that couples who get married have their love story to share. I don’t want to burst anybody’s bubble by saying that you are not the only one who found love or the one to share the rest of life with or telling you that you’re love story is not far from ours, it may be unique but it’s still a story bound by love. I would like to think that all the brides who walked down the aisle felt the same joy I did. That somehow we look forward to happy ever afters even if the old married couples say otherwise. But in our own little innocent minds, we want to believe that we will have better marriages and happy at that.

Up until now I still believe that I have a happy marriage. Maybe better but definitely happy. Somehow reality sets in and you noticed a lot of things you haven’t noticed before and usually they are not so good ones. But you accept those little things as long as it doesn’t compromise with your core values. And the happy ever afters? You have them once in a while sometimes in unexpected ways. But you do get your own dose of happy ever afters. Those happy ever afters keep you sane amidst the challenges that you face in marriage life. And you do get a lot of them. And that’s when you face reality right on because you have decided to have a happy marriage. And with that you can say that you were right when you got married. Cheers! ;)

My Message to You

2011-03-07T12:05:00.000+08:00

You, my dear friend are getting married. After years of speculating when you will take the plunge, the moment has now arrived. And I am so happy for you. I have realized that when a friend does not call on you for comfort over some fight with a boyfriend or even talk much about their relationship, it’s an indication that she has found the one. It’s like every moment they have is theirs to keep and cherish and no one else can be part of it. And being a true friend, you just wait on the sides when you are needed. A little catching up here and there will do amidst the busy schedule. I’m okay with that you see because I have gone through that too.

One thing will surely be missed are the girl time only we had when we were still silly little women talking about our lives and relationships we had. Gone are the days when we would cry over some stupid things that our boyfriends did or did not do; the days when we would giggle over some silly little things that made our hearts melt because of some unexpected gestures from the objects of our affection, which were really insignificant actions to them but to us could bring us to cloud 9; the days when we could just talk or write to each other about anything under the sun of dreams and reality and what could be; and gone are the days when we could just laugh about all these things that we did over past relationships and look forward in anticipation to that day when we finally meet our match because I already did and you will vow to yours today.

But I will be looking forward to days when we will talk about the married life; the reality and joy of it. The days when we celebrate the gift of life, when our kids become friends with each other and hopefully form the same friendships that we have; and days when we could just sit back and talk over tea (tea party? He he… iced tea!) like matured knowing women of what life is.

A wedding is just the beginning to a lifetime of commitment. It is the door to a marriage of two people who made a sacred oath to be witnesses to each others’ best and worst habits, attitudes and characters. With the world dictating to enjoy life and getting married is just a hindrance to enjoying it, it is a challenge to settle down. And I am glad to you see walk down the aisle to the person you have chosen to be your life’s witness and to be his as well. They say that communication is the key to a lasting marriage, I would agree but I can add that in order to have a harmonious relationship, compromise, not your core principles but compromise the small things if you can, don’t fuss the little stuff. And don’t forget to continue dating each other especially when you have kids already. Marriage may seem a prison to those who are afraid to get in the bandwagon but to those who have, it is a friendship that has legal benefits and then some. What more can I say? I know there is still so much to say but we’ll talk that over after today when we get to meet again for coffee or tea so for now: Congratulations and Best Wishes to Mr. and Mrs. Florian Valdez. Cheers! ;)

Louie and Me

2011-03-07T12:01:00.001+08:00

Louie and Me

It was just one of those nights when I let Louie get tired by letting him crawl and play all he want on the bed so when he asks for milk, he will be breastfeeding his way to sleep. He’s almost seven months and he has a way of feeding on his tummy while his head is at an angle so he can breastfeed. I would always ‘correct’ his position, and place him on his side so he could feed better but last night was different. I let him feed on the position he wanted because his arm was on my back or what he could reach of my back with his little baby arm.

Finally he slept still holding the same position with his arm around my back. I was waiting for him to turn and change his position so I could move but at the same time wanting him to hold that position. It was like he was the one holding me and not the other way around assuring me of some sort. As if he was telling me not that he’ll be fine and I don’t have to worry too much. But you can’t tell that to a mother. Moms always worry, even if they can gradually let go of their children’s dependence on them.

I was thinking of calling somebody so I could have the moment captured but to no avail. My cellphone was out of reach and shouting for my hubby was out of the question, doing such will wake my baby up and could ruin the moment. I was in our room at the second floor and everybody else was in the ground floor. So I just have to keep that memory by writing it down. Oh what a little hug can do to a mom like me.

SLEEP

2011-01-26T21:11:00.000+08:00

Most people would think that being a full time mom is an easy task. When I was single, and that was not so long ago, I thought so too. Taking care of your baby is something that will come naturally to mothers and you will have fun time always. Well, that is just plain wishful thinking.

It’s been two years and five months that I am a full time mom and I have to tell you it’s no easy task. Oh the motherly instinct is always there, you know when the baby is hungry, sleepy, etc. but just like in everything any person wants to do there is always a sacrifice attached to it. Having no job is no sacrifice at all since I chose to be with my kids fulltime.

What I’m sacrificing a lot lately is pure and simple deep sleep. You know, the kind of sleep when you close your eyes and it’s still night time like 10 or even 11pm and wake up refreshed and energized at around 6 to 7am. That’s the sleep I have been wishing for the last two and a half years.

Today is one of my most sleep deprived day. Louie slept at 12midnight last night and to think we were in bed at 930pm. I let him tire out on the bed, allowing him to roll over as much as he wanted to until he cried but that didn’t work. I thought that he was sleeping already by 11pm since his eyes were closed while feeding but he woke up after. Oh well. So I just let him do whatever he wanted to do in bed until he decides to sleep and finally he did. But by 2am, he wanted to feed again. Then by 4am and by 530am. And he woke up at 830am. Ugh. Since he was not crying and did not want to feed, I guess he’s full after feeding every two hours, I just closed my eyes for awhile to rest them even for a few more minutes.

Thankfully, my husband picked Louie up from bed and let me sleep for a few minutes more without worrying about the baby. Then I have to wake up, eat breakfast, take a bath, bathe Louie and make some lugaw for him. That’s my usual morning routine for the past month already.

Complaining much? Well, not really. I’m just amazed how a woman and a mother at that can somehow feel alright after all the sleep deprivation. I mean I can still get up and go and do whatever needs to be done and it’s not just limited to taking care of the baby, I’m doing the laundry, cleaning our room and at times cook for lunch or dinner. And once in a while I do bake when I have orders or when I just want to eat my desserts or my lasagna (and when hubby asks for them). I can still remember when I was in college, and being a sleepyhead I usually make up sleep whenever I can and sleep was not as deprived as it is now. Maybe I have upgraded, ha-ha.

Being a fulltime mom has its perks too. Louie’s sleeping now and what else to do? Make up some sleep, of course. Good day! ;)

HUG

2011-01-26T21:08:00.000+08:00

The weather is terrible nowadays. It can be sunny the whole day then rain pours during the night. Like today; sunny in the early morning then it rained suddenly, the sun came out in the afternoon and tonight the rain just stopped. Gosh I’m talking about the weather. But I have to include the weather because I think it’s affecting the health today.

Hammie just had fever and is still having cough and I hope he’ll be well soon. Last week was a worrisome week for me and my husband because you can really see that Hammie was not feeling well. He looked weak. He slept a lot and wouldn’t eat. Good thing he would still drink his milk. His fever was not high but it’s there and his cough was very dry he almost lost his voice.

Being a fulltime mom, I can monitor Hammie’s condition and his medicine intake. He was still playing at times but most of the time he wants to be carried. Good thing by Saturday he was okay to go to church for an anticipated mass. My only prayer was that he would be healed. Then I got worried because by Sunday his cough was very slow in healing and the fever got high. When we got to my parents house he slept and he sweated a lot. He sweated profusely that the pillow got wet. God heard my prayer.

The next day, he was still kind of weak but we wanted to cheer him up so we brought him along the mall to buy some groceries. Before we went back to the house, we decided to buy some magazines and while my hubby and I were squatting by a shelf choosing a puzzle book, Hammie then stood between us, placed each of his arms around our necks and gave us a big hug. Well, that was a good sign that he is getting healed.

Hammie is back to his bouncy self even with a little cough. He wants to play a lot. At times I would be too tired to play but today I’m so glad he wanted to race with his mama. Thank God for hugs.

Decisions, decisions

2011-01-11T23:07:00.000+08:00

January 5, 2011

Decisions, decisions

Today is one of those days that I got some time to reflect on my situation. And I did so much reflecting that my words would jumble up with each other and I get confused on what I really feel. So, I paused and breathed. So where I am right now? I’m a mother of two kids. A full time mom. Paused again. A wife to a great husband who is very responsible and loving not just to me but our two sons. Basically that’s it. That’s the summary of my situation right now. Sounds simple, yeah I know but as one of my Whatever shirts says – my life is based on a true story - . and of course it is. Well, whatever.

Where was I again? Ow, on my situation. Pause. Thinking. Okay, I’m in a middle of a crossroad here. And it’s so hard to choose. Or maybe I’m just scared to choose. To be or not to be? That is always the question. There are so many choices to choose from and each has its own pros and cons making it more difficult to decide. Pause. Stare into space. Think, think, think (when you have a problem, think, think, think! - from tigger and pooh) and the song is running through my head now distracting me from thinking at all. Or maybe I just want to be distracted so I don’t have to think at all. Sigh. I’ll just stare into space again until I get sense through my head….

On Being A Full Time Mom

2009-10-02T23:48:00.000+08:00

October 2, 2009

Yesterday was the first year of my being a full time mom.

I can still remember my former officemate saying I'm lucky to be just at home taking care of the baby. And I can still recall the HR's 'Wow, ang swerte mo naman!' when she knew that I'm resigning to be at home with my son.

It wasn't so difficult for me to decide to be a full time mom. I mean if I were to choose between family and work, i would definitely choose my family any time, no matter what. Even if I have to sacrifice some extras that my income can afford for my family, I would still choose my family. I have always wanted to be a housewife.

After a year of being a full time mom, I could say that I really am blessed to be with my son everyday. Come to think of it I was only separated from him for maximum of three days (when I went to manila early this year). I have witnessed most of his milestones that most mothers nowadays don't experience. I'm not discounting that some moms really have to work, but I'm just glad I was there for my baby. Though I did have a yaya for six months and I needed one because my baby was born through C-section and I had to return to work back then after two months of maternity leave. But after eight months until now, it was just me and my baby.

Looking back, it was all worth it especially with just me, my husband and our baby and no yaya. Back then, most of the prepping was by the yaya. When there was no yaya, my husband and I have to make a schedule as to what we need to do. And to this day I'm very thankful for my husband who is a very hands-on dad. My hubby usually bathes our baby in the morning (he wakes up earlier than i do) and evening (because i'm too tired after the day's babysitting) and does the bottle sterilizing. I do our baby's laundry and I babysit all day. My hubby does the babysitting when he gets home from work.

So for now, basically that's my daily routine being a hands-on mom. Sounds boring, I know, but I'm loving every moment even with all the tiredness I feel and the sleep deprivation ever since I gave birth. And no it's never boring raising a child especially your own. =)

Holding Hands

2009-09-24T17:10:00.000+08:00

August 26, 2009

My baby's asleep.

And it's true, you would still be amazed just looking at a sleeping baby especially your own. He has grown so fast now.

I know now how my parents felt before I got married, they always tell me how fragile I was when I was born, I was small as a family sized coke (they still have that size at that time). And I have grown into a woman ready to jump into the wagon and be a parent myself.

Now, i see what they mean. I'm the one who's saying that my baby is big already. It's been more than a year since I held him, so small, he could fit in on one of my arms, now he couldn't even fit in both of my arms. I have to balance him first in my arms to carry him, but somehow it has become second nature on how to carry him, i don't mind doing it.

Looking at him now makes me miss those times when he was still in my tummy, feeling his kicks, carrying him everywhere I go. Sometimes I wish being pregnant should be more than nine months because even if it's tiring to carry my baby around it's worth all the pain. Then again it's true, you'll forget all the pain and just remember the happiness a baby brings.

Nowadays, my baby's learning to walk on his own. Though he can walk without any support, especially when he feels like it, he still wants to hold his hand to one of mine to be sure he won't stumble down (though somebody told me it was some kind of separation anxiety, but whatever).
Part of me wants him to walk alone but a part of me wants him to not let go.

Because it will mean that it will be another thing I will miss.

So for now I'll hold his hand and cherish the moments.

I know he'll be running around one of these days but for now I'll just hold his hand.

P.S. To parents: always cherish the moments with your child(ren), have time with them especially when they're still young. It's not just for them but specially for us parents. =)