“Do you want your baby to cry all the time?” – L&D nurse to mother, while suggesting that the mother give the baby formula, as the mother nursed her baby for the second time ever.

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“We will avoid doing pelvic exams as much as possible, and if we decide together one is needed please tell us anything we can do to make it less uncomfortable.” – Midwives upon learning their client had required months of physical therapy to be able to have sex with only mild discomfort and still had a very tight vaginal opening.

“Nothing wrong with the VBAC. That’s why we are here.” – OB to mother who wanted to VBAC with her next child.

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“Honey, you’re pregnant – not dying! Eat what you need to eat!” – OB nurse to mother who was expressing skepticism over recent advice to completely avoid all cheese, peanut butter, fish, and so on during pregnancy.

“It’s okay to be confused. You don’t have to worry. Your body knows what to
do, and it is doing it beautifully.” – L&D Nurse to mother during transition.

“You have to have one!” – L&D Nurse to mother who declined an IV in labor.

“If you would have come here in labor and declined a cesarean, I would have gotten a court order to declare you unfit to make medical decisions.” – OB to mother who had wanted a vaginal birth for her breech baby.

“You couldn’t have been upset about it because I saw you smiling at your baby.” – OB to mother who was discussing that she felt her cesarean was not necessary.

You need to drive back to the hospital, you weren’t supposed to leave!” – L&D Nurse calling mother several hours after getting home from the hospital with her newborn. The nurse had told the family they were discharged and were free to leave, but had forgotten to do the carseat inspection.baby.

“Newborn babies don’t feel pain” – NICU nurse to parent of baby needing a new IV, after blowing the veins of baby in adjacent crib just prior to coming to attend to her baby.