My Perspective On Life

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 14:26:00 +0000

A dream is a place where wish and fear meet,and when they are exactly the same.. we call the dream a nightmare.
(Again from Gregory David Roberts' Shantaram)

Some days back I wrote a blog post titled 'A Dream' and today I uploaded another post titled 'A Nightmare'. While 'A Dream' shows the brighter side of something where there is still hope , 'A Nightmare' is written from a perspective when a person loses all his hopes and lets his fears overcome them.

A Nightmare

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 20:02:00 +0000

It rained in Pilani today,
The rains remind me of you.

I should be recused from giving an opinion about your beauty,
My stand is so prejudiced that I'll always say nifty.

My statements are sometimes cryptic and subtle,
It's alright if you don't acknowledge them but atleast offer a rebuttal.

People ask me the reason for my impecuniousness,
The usurious cost of loving you made me peddle even my consciousness.

Experiencing unrequited love from the same person once more is not a big deal,
The wounds have festered, but I'm optimistic they'll heal.

I wonder if by thinking about you I've made a fool of myself,
But what will that love be if it doesn't make you lose yourself.

Exculpate me from the offence of doing something which I never wanted to,
Either my voice is low or you can't hear me hitherto.

I moved through phalanx of people to reach for you,
And you are still asking the question "Who's Who" ?

You gave me hope that you were there and I always thought my love was shallow,
Now I realise I was just following your echo and shadow.

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 20:10:00 +0000

I've always felt the absence of a certain someone in my life, a person whom I can talk to when I am low...someone who knows me inside out..someone who actually knows me to the core.... a person with whom I can share my thoughts (I am not asserting that I never had a girlfriend or I desperately need one). This person could have been anyone..a friend,my parents,a sibling (if I had one), a friend on a social networking site..anyone. The reason there's no such person for me is because of the way I am (and perhaps have always been). I am a person who likes to keep his thoughts to himself, I do not want to whine about my life in front of anyone...no matter how close you are to me (well, writing blog posts about my life certainly contradicts the last statement...but I think blog posts do not say it all & they can have a lot of interpretations, they are just the way you see them). I have found some good friends in Satwik, my Wingis, some people in the Mal-Wing, Rahul Jain, Ghike (to name a few), but maybe it's the relation that exists between these people and me (the level of intimacy which I have decided), which prohibits me from saying what I want to. On the other hand, at times, I feel like talking to a random person...a stranger and asking him to listen to me.

Now for the reason why I wanted a break : I understand that things are not going perfect for me, I wanted to stay away from all my acquaintances for some time and think of a way out. For those of you, who will argue that I could have done the same while staying in Pilani ...well, I tried it but could not find a solution, so wanted to try something new this time.

Without a title

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 19:38:00 +0000

These are some lines which I read at different places, I found them good and they are quite apt to the situation.

Ragon main daudne-phirne ke hum nahin kaayal,
Jab aankh se hi naa tapka, to phir lahu kyaa hai.
(From a Ghazal by Ghalib)

Naa tha kuch to khuda tha, kuch naa hota to khuda hota,
Duboyaa mujhko hone ne, naa hota main to kyaa hota.
(From a Ghazal by Ghalib)

Nothing pleases a man more than talking about how glorious his past was, how pathetic his present is and how catastrophic his future is going to be.
(Translated to English from Premchand's Godaan)

Some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again,some truths about yourself are so painful that only shame can help you live with them and some things are just so sad that only your soul can do the crying for you.
(From Gregory David Roberts' Shantaram)

Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.
(By Aldous Huxley)

Hatred

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:07:00 +0000

I thought I hated some people, but lately I've discovered that I was wrong and actually I hate myself because I consider those people to be worthy of my hatred.

A Dream

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 23:12:00 +0000

I remember that dream till date,
When I realised that my love for you is innate.

I told you whatever I have always wanted to say,
And your acknowledgement after a slight hesitation made my day.

Since then, I've seen the dream again and again, but in broad daylight and with open eyes,
Envisaging of a day when I'll actually live my dream, and I'm not telling lies.

I don't know if you are unaware or if you don't give a damn about my emotions,
But the fact that you are not with me always renders my mind in a commotion.

In your absence, thinking about you is my passion,
All I expect from you is just a little compassion.

I wait with baited breath to get one glimpse of your,
Alas, everytime we meet, the only word we say to each other is bonjour.

Inspite of the distances, we can always talk and I can give you a call,
But, will you be interested in listening to what I want to say or will you see me as a droll.

If you read it someday, you might consider it audacity,
But, perhaps this is the proof of my veracity.

At times, I felt that a dream is a manifestation of attraction and lust,
But time and again, I found that the pillars of my love are strong and robust,
And terming my feelings a physical attraction is certainly not just.

Phir Teri Yaad Aayi........

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:20:00 +0000

फिर तेरी याद आई....

फिर शाम हुई, और वही घटा छाई,

फिर एक उम्मीद जगी, मैंने तेरे लिए यह पलकें बिछाई,

फिर मुस्कुराया मैं, और तू खुशी लेकर मेरे ख्यालों मैं समाई,

फिर वही रौनक लौटी, मैंने एक सपनों की दुनिया बसाई,

फिर किसी ख्वाइश ने जन्म लिया, और रौशनी की एक किरण जगमगाई ,

फिर से बरसे बादल, और दुनिया बारिश में नहाई,

फिर नहीं रहा कोई डर, मुझे नही देनी पड़ी कोई सफाई,

फिर एक तसल्ली मिली, जब तू मेरे कानों में कुछ फूस-फुसाई,

पर हर बार की तरह, फिर से हुई वही कमबख्त जुदाई,

मौसम बदला,रंग बदले और ख्वाब टूटा,

फिर नींद खुली, और मेरे सामने हकीकत आई,

फिर वही ग़म, अंधेरे ने अपनी चादर फैलाई,

फिर तेरे नहीं होने को मैंने महसूस किया, मेरी आंखों ने अश्कों की नदी बहाई,

फिर सोचा की मैं क्या करूँ, कुछ नही कर पाने ने मेरी जिंदगी और उलझाई,

फिर मन को बहलाया मैंने, 'जो होगा अच्छा होगा' यह कहकर एक झूठी तसल्ली दिलाई,

फिर से उसी ख्वाब को जीने की इच्छा जगी, ' पर ख्वाब तो सिर्फ़ एक छलावा है ' मैंने दिल को यह बात समझाई,

फिर सब उम्मीदें टूटी, और मैंने आखिरकार यह सचाई अपनाई,

फिर तेरी याद आई....

GMAT Scandal: Can this happen to BITSAT ?

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 11:18:00 +0000

For the past few days, I've been reading about the Gmat cheating controversy. To give an epitome of what has happened, the whole debate is about a website called 'Scoretop' which used to put up live Gmat questions(the questions which are still in use and are asked) on its forum and the aspirants could get access to them by paying some 30 dollars.These questions were referred to as 'JJ' or 'jungle juice' on the site.
Now, we at BITS have an online entrance exam named 'BITSAT' which is conducted for nearly 35-45 days in the months of May & June. Students can choose when they want to write the test according to the slots available. Bits partners with Eduquity Career Technologies to conduct the test at different centers throughout India.
In the case of Gmat, the questions were allegedly leaked by people who wrote the exam, they memorized some of those questions and had put them up on the Scoretop site.Well, this memorization funda is very familiar in India.On numerous occasions when IIT-JEE paper is not allowed to be taken back home...you can see the exact questions being reproduced, the very next day, on the websites of all the leading coaching institutes.

So can't these institutes leak some questions used in Bitsat ? If someone really wants to make it a money-making business, isn't it a good idea ??
Suppose, if an institute sends some 100 bogus candidates on the first few days of Bitsat, and every candidate cons let's say some 30 questions(out of the total 150 or 162 questions)...then easily 3000 questions can be leaked out.Now, these questions can either be uploaded on a website and sold to the premium members or a book/study material can be published which will help the students who are taking the exam in the final week.Well,the number of phoney candidates and leaked questions can increase if the method turns out successful, and definitely it can be used to bait more students into a coaching class.

Considering the cutthroat competition among the coaching classes and taking into account the money spent by them in publicity....I don't think expending 2-3 lakhs for this purpose will be conceived as squandering.
Though the probability that a candidate will get some of the same questions, even if he goes through all the 3000 or more questions, is very less and it won't help him much.But in this process,something is lost:
1.) The credibility of the test and Bits as a whole.(plus the ethical issues)
2.) The opinion of common people and the common opinion of people about Bitsat.

Right now, the major differences between Gmat (which is a Computer Adaptive Test) and Bitsat are :
1.) Number of applicants.
2.) Number of days of a year when the test is conducted.
3.) The application and examination fees.One can write Bitsat just for Rs.800(male) or Rs.400(female), which is very less as compared to Gmat... thus making it easier to seat more and more fraudulent candidates.

With every passing year, the fame of Bitsat is growing and the number of applicants are increasing considerably.So no one can foretell what lies in the future and what strategy these coaching classes will adopt.
To be on the safer side, Bits should have a strong policy on 'Copyright Infringement' and must ensure to nip any such arising issue in the bud.

In a recent press release of FAQ's by the GMAC:
Q. The Scoretop Web site has been up for a few years, so why did GMAC wait so long to pursue it?
A. GMAC worked with the FBI for several years documenting the evidence necessary to take action.

If Bitsat faces a similar problem, then keeping the judicial system of India in mind... tackling these people won't be an easy business .
Anyway,this Gmat scandal can serve as an eye-opener for BITS and the authorities need to be more vigilant.

The BITS Herald : Stop Comparing

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 16:14:00 +0000

Again comparisons are being made between two institutes with juxtaposing characteristics.This is a comparison which 'The Bits Herald' is making in its latest June issue (for the Pilani people who are incognizant of The Bits Herald; it's a newsletter which is published by the English Press Club of Bits Pilani-Goa Campus).Thanks to Abhishodh (a PS mate of mine), who showed me this issue. The summer issue is meant to serve as a help book for the students, to lure aspirants into Bits Goa and also to solve their queries related to different branches of engineering.

The first page reads : "In terms of the atmosphere and the living conditions, it would be safe to say that Goa is way ahead of Pilani. "
Going through the first page, I think its high time that people in Bits-Goa realise that trying to prove yourself at parallel or at a vantage position than Bits Pilani does not really help.Don't you guys have any separate or independent identity of your own.... and why are you coming up with such lame arguments to show that you have a upper hand as compared to Bits Pilani . Do you find it better and more convincing to stay confined in your hostel rooms after 10:30 p.m. and having access to an internet connection which is turned off between 8a.m-5p.m. ? And what about the prevailing electricity problem there ?
The point is that no one stops you from writing stories of appraisal about your institute, but the only thing is that if you want to do it, do it in an absolute sense rather than likening your institue with ours and making stupid relative comparisons.

It further reads : " In the first year of its placements, the college managed to attract companies like Microsoft,Yahoo,Godrej etc. "
Now, if I also write on the similar lines, I can state that ask any Bits Pilani chap about the top 3 companies which come for recruitment and the most common answer will be : Google, Citibank & Schlumberger/Microsoft .I hope I clarified myself, and there are a lot of other stark contrasting features among the two.

Moving on to the 3rd and the 4th page, the issue tries to highlight ' The 7 wonders of BITS '; while the first six of them(the brand, faculty & courses,dual degree system,Practice School system,fests and co-curricular activities) are appropriate but the 7th one is quite discordant with the others.Quoting their own words:
" 7.) DC (Direct Connect) : Last but not the least,we have the DC! DC is software that works on the campus' internal LAN,which can link your computer (if you have any) to every other! The latest movies,T.V. shows and games, and a wealth of e-books all available to you.So what are you waiting for? BITS is definitely waiting for you!!! "
I never knew DC(which is just a medium to transfer and promote illegal,unlicensed softwares,movies & other stuff) is such a marvel to be included in the top 7 USP's. :P

However, I must say that their other efforts to clear doubts related to dual degree,Msc and transfer on the subsequent pages are indeed commendable.

Indians @ Driving & Flaunting- II

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 18:28:00 +0000

Politicians On Road

There are 2 different sets of politicians :
1.) Those who legally put a red beacon on the top of their cars.
2.) This category consists of people who are more of 'Self-Proclaimed' leaders and other bureaucrats who are not permitted to drive with the red-siren (but that doesn't stop them from breaching the law) .

I do not understand what sense does it make to write stuff like : "Member, Gram panchayat,Village Abc, Dist. Xyz " or "President, Block Congress Committee, Abc Pradesh Congress Committee" or "Zila Adhyaksh, Human Rights Department, Dist. Abc, Xyz Pradesh Congress Committee" along with the numberplate.

Thankfully these people do not drive on their own,instead they have drivers who are somewhat better (not always) than them.These people travel on the road with a conception that they are the proprietors of roads & the highways .And because of their position and political connections,they do get away easily when they violate any traffic rules.Most of the times,you won't be able to recognise these 'famous personalities'. Well if that is the case, then you need to look at the self-explanatory name plate on the rear or front of the vehicle, which suggests : more the number of words on the nameplate, it implies the jackass is far below in the hierarchy.

A red-siren and a colourful nameplate (resembling the flag of a political party) actually helps you in the following situations :
1.) If you are stuck in a traffic jam, then all the efforts will be made to give you a quick passage through a foliage of vehicles.Even if you bump into some vehicles or run over a few, it is assumed that people will understand, as you are a 'national asset' and your time & safety is more valuable than the zillions of other common people.
2.) You always stand a chance to save 10-20 bucks (o.k. at times, even more) at a toll plaza.You are a public servant, and in India, public servants receive only a meagre wage (which officially is your only source of income).So these small savings matter a lot to you.
3.) At some point of time, if you are driving the car and you crush some pedestrians or end up in an accident which kills others; there's a high probability that your driver will claim the responsibility of the accident in lieu of getting govt. jobs for his family.
4.) You are given a right to browbeat any other fellow traveller if you enter a road-rage and the other guy will capitulate to your authority.
5.) If you happen to visit some village or remote area,then you must not be concerned if people know you or not, you can always sit or even stand at the roof of your vehicle and deliver a speech.
6.) If you are going for your son's marriage, always travel in a car with the red beacon, you may land up getting more dowry than expected.
7.) And yeah, if you are an IAS, IPS or hold a key position in the govt., then no matter how high the oil prices may rise, you will always be supplied enough oil to pick up your children from school , to buy vegetables, and other household activities.

The interesting part comes into picture when a politician of 1 state encounters the police from another state (a state which is run by a govt. of a different party).At such moments,It's hilarious to see these people cribbing and pleading against a traffic police department which doesn't give a fuck about them.

World's Top 100 Intellectuals

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 18:27:00 +0000

The new list of the 100 most important living public intellectuals in the world which has been compiled by Prospect and Foreign Policy magazines is out.According to Prospect, more than half-a-million people voted in their survey to decide who of these Intellectuals is going to occupy a spot in their list.

And this is where I think the problem is, being an online survey this list fails to serve any purpose (except showing unity and allegiance in certain countries of the world). I do not understand the intention behind a public opinion poll, when it is a very well known fact that these polls are always susceptible to organised voting campaigns and prejudices.
I first came to know about the 2005 survey when I was looking for Richard Dawkins on Wikipedia. But the present list is even more astounding than its antecedent . Among the top 10 people on the list the only familiar names which I could relate to are Muhammad Yunus and Shirin Ebadi. I have not even heard about the other 8 (I agree that I am not a cognoscente of all the matters and all the fields, but it's surprising to see all these names coming up). Naom Chomsky and Richard Dawkins have plummeted to 11th and 19 th position respectively from 1st and 3rd.While Sunita Narain has climbed up some places but Jagdish Bhagwati did not get a spot this time.An editor at prospect has covered this report here.

The poll should be rather renamed to 'The most popular Intellectuals' or maybe 'The intellectuals with the largest fan-following'. I am sure that any goosy survey like this can not reflect the intellect of all these people. I do not know how the intellect of all these people can be evaluated or compared, so the magazines should either try to come up with something better or they should simply stop conducting these opinion polls.

Johari Window

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 18:50:00 +0000

Today we played a simplified and a miniature version of Johari Window.That's an interesting activity.. but in our version we just had to write our views about the other person on a piece of paper stuck at his back. And we did not have the list of 55 adjectives(as in the original variant) which help you describe a person.
Looking at how people reacted, I realised one thing: No matter what you say or what's your take on it... be it conspicuous or hidden somewhere at the back of your head...you are actually concerned and conscious of what others think about you.I could see people trying to identify who has written what.. some trying to figure out which colour pen others were using.It was fun and the discussion even moved over to the dining table and some of my friends could be quoted saying : "I could never imagine this is what others think of me ", "Who wrote that particular comment ?"
For people, some of the remarks were expected but most of them seemed to be unexpected...this shows how highly we think of ourselves and how wrong is one's perception of himself. I could see some of the people trying to get a remark from everyone else present there (hoping that more remarks meant more acknowledgement and more appreciation also ).

Well the best part was, when someone got a positive remark and then he/she tried to fit himself into that 'good image'.
It was interesting to see people having a high intellect; getting so much fascinated by a stupid psychological tool .

Indians @ Driving & Flaunting - I

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:09:00 +0000

Army Men On Road

Disclaimer: This post is meant to be a humourous one and must be taken in a lighter vein. I respect the Indian Army and all its personnel.

I was born and have been brought up in Ambala, so it's not something new for me to see cars having flamboyant stickers on their back which reads in bold letters the word 'ARMY'.
Well, almost all the army officers own a personal 4-wheeler..but not all of them are that smart to put such stickers on the back of their vehicles.I'll call the group of these smart people as : Group A and the others as Group B.
It is understandable if I work for some company or institution and they ask me to put up a company logo on their car (I mean the one which has been given to me by them) ; but here I'm talking about personal vehicles.

As I am so used to seeing this that I never gave a thought over this posey action of theirs.But this time when I went home,I mused over it.
The actual reason behind it, I guess, is because of a secret propaganda by the Indian Army.It's their overtly-covert (ya ,that's the word to describe their noticeable & still elusive) mission to publicize themselves and to lure more and more people.
But,somehow I believe that policy makers at the South Block would not have issued such directives because it's only the people in Group A who are following it and of course, if it had been ordered by the Army Command then I'm sure it would not be these 'Cheap Stickers'.
So does that mean it is a secret operation undertaken exclusively by the smart people of Group A ?? Well, cann't be.. because they may be smart but not that smart.

Another plausible reason is that: it gives them superiority when they are traveling on roads..keeping in mind the number of accidents caused by army vehicles (specially the 'Shaktiman' trucks ), this sticker actually serves as a warning to the general public to be cautious of the vehicle because it has a 'License To Kill' .And it is also a signal to the traffic police not to waste their scanty resources on catching these vehicles if they jump a signal or violate any traffic rule.( that's also an example of a symbiotic relation between the Army and traffic police).

If a doctor puts up a 'Red +' sign on the back of his car,it makes some sense..I mean if there's a mishap or an accident somewhere, this + sign helps one locate a doctor and he can surely lend some help in such a situation.... but it makes me wonder what help will I get, on knowing, that an army personnel is traveling on road ??

For those of you who are unaware of this fact, I'll tell you that Ambala is not only a bastion of Army ..it also has a huge Air-Force base ,but it's rare that you'll ever find an 'Air-Force' sticker at the back of a vehicle.
Perhaps that's why Army guys consider themselves to be 'cool' as compared to the Air-Force people.

Anyway, these days it has become more of a fashion and people who are not even remotely associated to the Army are also following the trend.

God bless these people !!

Ash & Smoke

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Sun, 11 May 2008 18:30:00 +0000

As the 2nd year comes to an end,I mull over my Bitsian life and the best analogy I can draw to it, is with a cigarette.When it burns,it gives you a momentary pleasure and a transitory satisfaction but the aftermath are just ash and smoke.The ash which drops to the ground and is stepped over ; and the smoke which goes into the air,becomes a part of it and is lost.
What drives me further is hope, and quoting the words of Keeki :

"I wish i did not know hope existed
hope gave me a reason to fight all demons
but little did i know it was the devil in itself! "

Don't know what good this hope will bring to me,but it atleast gives me a reason to carry on.Unaware and ignorant of what lies ahead,it induces in me a spirit of fighting.But the irony is that this spirit is also volatile,and as you grab another fag ( as you move on ) .... it disappears , again with ash and smoke to follow.
The only palpable thing that is left behind is the butt...which is worthless.

Argument

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Mon, 05 May 2008 03:54:00 +0000

Disclaimer : No offence meant to any of the bloggers whom I list in this post.They are just figurative examples.
I am also including my posts 'Conflict' and 'My Wish' into this discussion.

The first part of this post was written a week ago;and as I was talking to Rachit about some previous posts, he suggested me to think about things the other way.Now,I'm publishing 2 different viewpoints on the same topic.

Story of a Psychopath... A Bitsian's True Love Story...Funny Post-I...and some other similar titles.
When I went through these blogs,I wondered what makes people write all such things and that too quite blatantly on a blog, which is meant for public reading.

What good does it serve to the people who read it ??
Nothing at all...... instead it earns you sympathy,arouses concern and curiosity among your friends over your so called self-concocted pitiable condition,makes people look at you with compassion in their eyes,alleviates your despondency..err sounds too dysphemistic ,let it be.

What is the reason behind writing personal stuff ?
Reasons are many, to enumerate a few :

1.) It is an invitation asking everyone to scratch the scab , so that the wound underneath it could be exposed( if there's any )... Does this gives you pleasure ?? If it does,then you are sick.
2.) Feels good to be the eponymous protagonist in these posts.
3.) This atleast ensures that you and your friends have something interesting to discuss during binges.
4.) Every second git in this world suffers from this problem,so a huge number of hits and comments are always anticipated.
5.) It is meant as an apology or an act of atonement for what you did.As you are publically condemning your own action ( because you are too clever),this penance seems big.
6.) Some ulterior motives, which includes impressing other people .
7.) Hoping that the person to whom it is addressed may read it sometime and realise his/her 'imposed mistake'.
8.) Showing the world how creative and emotional creature you are.
9.) Now, people will surely give you a new chance to start things afresh.
10.) Helps you gain popularity.

O.k. even if your feelings are genuine and not devised, still you do not realise that all such actions make you a laughingstock among your friends and strangers too. The next time a group of people see you, the first thing that comes to their mind is..Look at the wimp of our batch or Look at that poor chap,he's girlfriend ditched him ; and other similar things.Don't you think that exposing your weakness or failures to the world makes you more vulnerable... you moron.

I believe this wasn't something which you expected,then what did you expect ?? You must have expected something while you were writing these posts...what was it ?
The worst answer would be : that I was trying to seek advice from some more experienced people. If this is your explanation,then you are fooling yourself because you know the best what you can do and what you should do.

At some point,someone stated that people write certain stuff for future reference; but my idea is that if you want to archive them so that in the future you could return back to these posts and read them..why not write it in a personal diary.A personal diary definitely seems a better option.
Whenever you write a post about yourself, a few things always happen :

1.) The thought, "what people are going to think about me" makes you write superficially.You don't reach to the unfathomed depths of your mind, because no matter how hard you try..deep inside your heart you are always concerned about this social image of yours.So either you try to exaggerate certain facts or you discard some, anyway you are digressed from the truth.And if by any chance,you can write such posts with complete rectitude...then kudos to you.

2.) Your affectation makes you lose your identity but the diary which you write is more closer to yourself.

In a diary you are atleast sure that no one is ever going to read this (except you).Maybe this will help you in knowing what exactly you think.It's way more better than lying to yourself and giving your mind false gratifications.At times people tend to lie to themselves because that makes them happy,if that's the case then do not strive for such happiness.

And a blog is in no way similar to a personal diary, because if it were then one wouldn't be ostentatiously putting his/her updated blog link as their gtalk status message.

Now,10 years down the line when you look at the same blog post again...you might feel strange of yourself for writing all this.At that time, you might tend to attribute this 'funny act' of yours to your immaturity ,which is again a charade.
Because with time; maturity may come,experience may come.. but the basic tendency of a human being never changes.With time restrictions may change,your medium of communication may change.. but the tendency of reaching out to the people will never change.

This brings me to the end of View Point 1. I close my argument by stating that whenever you publish a post you always want people to read it, and among the other reasons I stated,choose 1 for yourself.

Argument-II

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Mon, 05 May 2008 03:46:00 +0000

Here I'll try to justify the opposite of what I stated in the above post.

Simply saying :
" " A blog means that some web-space is reserved for an individual, it's like his own property and he has the right to do anything with it... be it adorning it or defaming it or whatever.It's a place where you can share knowledge,ridicule people,..then why not speaking about yourself or why not pleasing / impressing others ? It is my blog,I can write whatever I want to..Who the hell are you to question me ? " "

is enough and beyond this,it does not seek any further clarification...but people generally aren't so straightforward .They have an intrinsic characteristic of arguing,so now I try to counter the points made in the above post.

Some pts. which validate writing personal stuff:

1.) No one forces you to read a blog..you read a post only if you find it interesting.
2.) If writing it mitigates the author's desperation,then this is what everyone wants in life.Maybe it's false happiness or true...who cares ?? At the end of the day what counts is that you are happy.
3.) Now suppose if a person has undergone a situation which caused him anguish and trauma...now sharing this experience may make him vulnerable or whatever... but it'll surely serve as a warning to everyone who reads it.
4.) Repenting over what you have done 'on record' actually helps because at times people expect concrete proof from you to show that you are sorry.
5.) Lambasting people and criticising them is always easy & fun while it takes a brave effort to appreciate others or write about oneself.
6.) When you write about your personal life publicly..it implies you are so sure about it that you are declaring it in front of everyone.

If one starts caring about how people are going to react,then I suppose he/she must rather stop living because anything you do..you'll certainly find some people who are so jobless that they'll point a finger at you.

At times there are issues which trouble you.. and the world around you never realizes it,and writing it on a blog exposes your grievances with their behaviour. I remember 2 lines of a couplet from Ghalib :

" Kyon naa cheekhun ki yaad karte hain Meri Awaaz agar nahi aati "

Well it's not easy for people to speak out (though it's easy to write) certain things (due to many reasons), now for these people blog serve as a channel to express their feelings.And obviously it has a different impact.

Regarding the point,that your personal life should be kept to yourself, if everyone in the world starts following it..then I guess many great poets and brilliant artists would have never existed .Many great literary works are based on personal life experience, many great lyrics are written keeping one's own life in mind, then what would have happened to them.This would surely have meant the end of artistic creativity.

There are always different ways to learn something : either the usual hard way where your experience teaches you.. or the other relatively easier way where someone who has already been in the same situation helps you. Well, you have to decide the final objective for you but someone might help you by showing a easier path to reach there.

Lastly about putting links as your gtalk status msg : well,there are certain people in the world who are always eager to know what you are thinking, who always listen to whatever you wish to say.Now, don't you think that if one doesn't inform them about the updated blog..it's depriving them of what they expect from you.Anyway,whatever you do..you write personal stuff or not,these people are always going to read it.

Finally,I will end this argument saying ,there's nothing wrong in publishing anything on a post (unless it is offensive).
These are your views and your blog is the stage where you can showcase them.

My Wish.....

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 20:22:00 +0000

I wish I were a painter..who could express emotions and the transition between them with a few strokes of brush.
I wish I were a poet..who could say so much in a poem, which would take me a lifetime to say or write.
I wish I were a singer.. who could sing a song to end all misunderstandings, which is impossible for me to extricate.
I wish I were 'Not Dumb' at times.. when it was expected of me to speak.
I wish I were the breeze that passes by you everyday...and carries a scent of yours.
I wish I were the leaf in your notebook....which you would always like to preserve.
I wish I were a helium balloon which goes up straight into the air....without any restriction.
I wish I were your shadow...whom you cann't part ways with.
I wish I were the glow on your face..something which everyone sees and appreciates.
I wish I were X-Rays... so that I can see through you.
I wish someday... You want to listen to all what I have to say.
I wish You were with me...for I wouldn't be so lonely.
I wish You were me...so that you could realize my agony.

I don't know if you deserve all that or not..
Finally...I wish I had the courage to face situations and not run away from them.

P.S. : No intrusive questions shall be answered.

Purpose Of Life

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 21:10:00 +0000

I had written this text some 2 months back,but never posted it.. as I was not quite sure about the conclusion.Even today,I'm not putting forward a concrete conclusion,instead I anticipate your views on this topic.

Some questions to which I am seeking an answer:
What is the purpose of life ? Why are we alive ? What is the motivation behind living ? In the end,do we actually get what we had wanted or Is it just a game where life tantalizes us ?

I'll put forward my idea on it :
When you are a kid,you ask your parents to buy you a toy(let's say, a teddy bear).
You cry over it and try very hard to get it; after getting it,you play with it for sometime and then you lose interest in it (or find something else more interesting). Now you cry for a video game (suppose) and after getting it ;again the same process continues.Then a bicycle,next a computer,next a laptop,and then A LAPTOP WITH A BETTER CONFIGURATION ...
So,as your knowledge and information about the world grows, as you become more experienced and the realms of your understanding expand..your needs change,you begin to feel a pull towards these new and better things(as you see them ).
With time your perspective about the previously important things also changes,these things lose their worth for you and are replaced by newer things.
When you crave to get something,you feel it's the most important and the most perfect thing for you at the moment, and achieving it becomes a goal.You feel that it's the end of the world if you cann't achieve the goal (look at the irony,the most significant thing right now will eventually turn into something insignificant for you).Now after accomplishing your objective,you set a new goal for yourself and this infinite,inconspicuous progression of setting goals and achieving them goes on and on.

I feel that the whole excitement,the whole fervor is just about attaining something and not enjoying it to the fullest.( or maybe you enjoy it also but most of the times,your expectations are relatively more higher than what you can/or what you actually derive out of it ).
Sometimes you also blame the situation,saying that you could have got something BIGGER/BETTER had it not been the same restrictions.
This is the basic human tendency.Though whatever reason you may state..the bottomline is that :we are never contended or satisfied completely with anything (this is evident by the fact that whenever there is a slight scope of improvement..we tend to change things).We always yearn for something which is not available at the moment.

Now,I look at relations in the same way : Though I have not been into any relations (other than family & a few people whom I call friends).. but I'm somehow doubtful that what's the point in falling into 1 when after sometime it's the commitment which drives it, and not the actual substance which was there at the time of it's formulation,because in the course of life you may find (o.k. not search ) that u have better options available,there are people who understand you better and can continue with you in a rather uncomplicated manner (unless and until u turn off/control your senses and desires).

But, Why do we run behind things? Why do we want to achieve them when we are not even sure for how long will the craze for that particular thing last ?
Should we continue this quest (which we are accustomed to) for mere things/ momentarily pleasure/ other temporal objects or should one pursue a new search for an "Ultimate satisfaction/Ultimate goal".A satisfaction which is such, that after achieving it,all your desires will end,all your craving & yearning will be over and you are fully contended.
What I mean by the above statement is getting a thing or maybe involvement in an activity which gives you the ultimate satisfaction..and when you obtain this thing/ when you are indulged in this activity...you would not want anything else/your mind would not ponder here & there.

This can be generalised in different spheres :

1.) Like in a relation, can you say that the person opposite to you is 'the most perfect' .
2.) When you are working (or in any profession), is it the right activity for which you are made ??
You want to be so many different things in life( a scientist,an engineer,a philosopher,a social activist,a physicist),play so many different roles.....is there a 'perfect role' that suits you and your characteristic ?
3.) Is there any materialistic object which retains its worth,as it is, throughout your life ?

A doubt which arose as I was thinking about the Ultimate Thing was :
If I beforehand knew of it...then in that case; either
1.) My life will cease to have any motivation,any passion and therefore no purpose.We will just hook up to a single object/single activity and then life will lose its flavour .
Or
2.) I will be atleast sure of reaching somewhere in the end.We don't choose roles for ourselves, we are assigned roles.And maybe if I knew about the 'most suitable'/ the perfect role for me,I would not waste my time experimenting with things but I would devote myself to it and draw maximum pleasure out of it.

But,then how do you know that finally there is some "Ultimate Thing" waiting for you and the whole time you spend in this odyssey will yield a fruitful result ??
Does an Ultimate thing actually exist or Is this just a state of mind that you attain after reaching a position/stage from where you cann't continue this search further (because you are fed-up with it,you meet an obstruction,you don't want to move,you feel it has been too much of it) .

I am very much doubtful about this 'Ultimate Thing' because you cann't see/experience everything in the world and maybe the thing which you missed out was the Ultimate thing.
Now,different people attribute 'Ultimate Satisfaction' to different activities.
So does that mean there is no Universal Ultimate thing which can give me this satisfaction ??

What I wish to say is, that with time your preferences in life changes, which also changes your perspective, and every time you somehow find/reach to a state that is higher/lower than the previous one .
Maybe different people will suit in different roles, different objects will be differently valuable to different people.

According to Maslow's triangle/pyramid, self-actualisation lies at the top of the pyramid.. and for reaching there u need to satisfy physiological needs,safety needs,social needs and self-esteem needs, which are at the base of the pyramid.
Our lives are such,that we are so engrossed in the first four stages that most of us don't reach to the stage of self-actualisation.
We are so exhausted and left with nothing in satisfying the first 3-4 bases, that we don't have enough time for the 5th... and I feel that before giving up, whatsoever random thoughts come to the mind, we comply with them (because of no other option) and term it as self-realisation.

Finally:

1.) I'm not condemning the rat-race that people around me are following.

2.) I think that maybe getting to these 'perfect things' is actually the purpose of our living (either knowingly or unknowingly)..
because finally the objective behind a rat-race also is that we are gradually trying to move to something which is better than what we have now (though we at times also end up at something inferior to what we have with us).

So,I see that everything we do in life is actually a search for something better, but the question remains : Is there something which is 'The Best' and after achieving it, my search will end ??

Conflict

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 21:14:00 +0000

Apart from trying to come up with some sensible ideas , it's a conflict between 2 people which prevented me from blogging all these days.The people into the spat are : Trikha (as his friends call him ) and his doppelganger (let's name him NT).Both of them are vying for control,both of them want to impose their own ways on me.

Now the question is,Who am I ? Well,I am not Trikha,neither I am Nt. I am the one who is writing this post.I am the observer who is descrying their behaviour,I am the one who sometimes assume the role of trikha and sometimes wear the mask of nt; And at other times I cease to have any known identity.Earlier there was only 1 protagonist,which was me.But with the passage of time and due to huge chasm between ideologies, 2 different poles have emerged and I cann't decide which 1 of them should I clinge to.

Some idiosyncrasies of these 2 characters :

Trikha :
Trikha is facetious about what the world thinks of him (though he likes being termed a sane headed guy who is candid in his discourse). Trikha wishes not to be driven by desires and seeks contentment from life.In the pursuit of eternal satisfaction, he has lost the short-term goals and objectives of his life.
Trikha can be and is taken for granted.Apart from inconclusive friendly banter and chattering,he is taciturn and an indolent person.
Trikha needs friends,yes he needs them and he likes to call certain people: his 'good friends', but on the whole he sorts of believe that all relations are meant for a motive and does not expect much from people.
Trikha is a weak character and anyone/everyone has a right to fool around with him,specially 1 night before a test if you want to gain some confidence or want some more amusement (apart from the usual one which you get in studying at the library,or sitting at c'not or ganga) come to this guy and ridicule him about his test preparation.
Still he does not hold any grudge against anyone,believes everything is right and treats everything in a lighter vein.
Whenever he needs to decide something, he logically cogitates over the given situation and then comes to a conclusion.

NT :
Unlike trikha; nt is a hedonist,he has certain aspirations and wants to turn them into reality. He's also a zealot who has lots to say and prove.
Nt is brazen-faced and doesn't give a shit about others.Regarding the people close to him;he hates some,he's fascinated by some others,he loves a few....he values emotions too much and still cann't move on with regard to certain things, but he is apathetic and jaded towards the rest of the world.
Nt has his own grievances with the world, the situation with him is aggravating and day-by-day he becomes more dismal and gloomy.
He has some out of the world conviction in certain ideas and most of the times,his judgement and statements are governed by quaints and whims....and to prove them right,he goes to the extent of waffling and equivocation.
Except for a the clique I mentioned above,he doesn't need anyone.Solitude doesn't bother him, he wants to spend some time without interacting much with his friends and this was also one of the reasons why he chose Bagar as his PS station (though,it didn't turn out the way he had expected).
He does not have any lofty parameters for right or wrong, so he is grouchy over certain practices of the world.

Apart from these contrasting features,there is something which binds both of them together.
They both have the same moral values, and none of the two can deliberately cause a harm to anyone.Both of them hate being looked down upon, both of them are attention seekers.And both of them are LOSERS (Trikha is a loser as he doesn't want to do anything and Nt is a loser because he cann't do anything).
So,I must say the introduction of Nt as trikha's evil twin is quite inappropriate,rather terming nt as trikha's alter ego would be correct.

Trikha is how the world sees me,including my friends and family.Trikha is what my failures/(my inability to perform in all spheres) have made of me,it hasn't been a long time since Trikha came into existence(probably last 1.5 years).I was never like Trikha and I had never imagined myself changing into him.
Trikha is a pseudo-real personality,he wants to be an ideal human being..he talks about stuff which he himself doesn't completely practice .

Before I was Trikha, I resembled : Nt + humility of Trikha
When I am despondent,when I am frustrated; Nt is how I see myself.

What was I initially(what was the first face I had) ? Was my first face the real me ? Have I lost my existence putting on different faces ?

Real me = a bunch of beliefs + a set of emotions + collection of moral values + some tenets I have decided for myself. This is what I am..this is my existence.

Now a part of this 'Real Me' appears in the different masks I put up.Each face reflects me,each face has different proportions of the above values.
These masks/faces are parallel to different human faces; where every human face has a distinct face-cut,different characteristic features,different skin colour etc. Just like these human faces,the 'real me' moulds itself to produce various features on these faces/masks with every mask having a different demeanor.Some things are blunt,some are sharp, some are small,some are large,some are protruding,some are not.
As I had stated in 1 of my previous posts,that the core remains the same...it might be obscure but it is never lost.

Who decides the carving-out of a face ?
I believe the major deciding factor in this process is the situation,the time,the surroundings and to an extent it's your willingness to transform or your reluctance not to transform.

Now the question is: Who made me Trikha(I never wanted to be like him) ?
The emerging of Trikha can be attributed to the situation,perhaps it was the best available option at that time and it still maybe.

Well, I am myself somewhat skeptical about what all I have written,but the idea is surely one of my favourite fantasies.

Happiness

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 00:17:00 +0000

1 Life- Interminable thoughts,never-ending expectations,infinite hopes,countless aspirations,boundless dreams,immeasurable affection,inestimable concern.....
What for ?? Brainstorming over it, 2 lines come to my mind.

I can vividly recall these lines from a poem in my textbook:

"" What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare. ""

I affirm that I never understood the meaning of this poem while in school.But the hindsight which I've developed in recent times has made me realise the true essence of it.

Powercut- These days it's a very prevalent problem in Bits(other than Lan),every now and then there's some problem with electricity;which causes a lot of discomfort and anxiety to people out here.Last time when there was a powercut(and subsequently net was also down),there was apparently nothing to do; some of my friends and I were discussing about our past lives and experiences(before coming to Bits). We talked about the comic-mania of Super Commando Dhruva and Nagraj in which all of us were quite engrossed.It came as a surprise to me when one of them admitted of reading these comics till date.The conversation stretched for more than 2 hrs. as the topic of discussion changed to school,1st girlfriend,ogling at females,then to the relevance of nicknames we use in Bits and blah..blah...
At the end of the discussion I was jubilant and overwhelmed with happiness.I was in a state of rapture due to some enigmatic reasons,as if I had taken some euphoriant.

I'll explain the significance of powercuts to me: When I was a kid (probably 4 or 5),I can lucidly remember that I begged to God for powercuts;the reason being at that time we didn't have an invertor at my place and whenever there was an electricity failure my whole family(me,my parents and my grandma) used to go to the terrace (during summers).I really enjoyed that time which we used to spend on the terrace(playing Antakshari,and lying down on the roof-top with just a bed-sheet underneath you as compared to sleeping on a comfortable bed) ,and irrespective of the mosquitoes,irrespective of the uneasiness caused by the humid weather,irrespective of the effort it took to climb the stairs in the middle of the night when you are half-asleep,irrespective of everything ; I still cherish those moments as one of the most wonderful times in my life.I aways prayed for a power failure on Saturday(as the next day would be Sunday,and school will be off).

In case you are seeing me as an eccentric person or a creep who is too obsessed with his childhood memories,I'll come to the point.

Terminology:

Pleasure=Lower Pleasure & Bliss=Higher Pleasure

What I intend to explain is that happiness is all around you,it's there in each and every single moment that you spend.And as I believe there is infinite Bliss associated with every fraction of second,so it's all upto you how much of it can you derive.Mind it,this derivation of Bliss does not imply that you can knowingly get as much Bliss as you demand.
The problem with us is that we are at times,too obstinate on our stand and believing that nothing can make us happy,lands us in Sad-ville.Though we may obtain pleasure during our stay at Sad-ville but it deprives us from getting Bliss.
The difference between the two is that: Pleasure is a state of mind to which you reach yourself(I mean,with your own effort) and Bliss is the state of mind to which you reach accidentally/automatically.Bliss may be regarded as the next level to pleasure but restraining/abstaining/refraining yourself,will not let you reach it.
There's plenty of it in every moment..you just need to realise it.

Even a powercut can be a source of Bliss,while winning a fortune may not be one.

And coming to the first few lines : You may be tempted to think that Bliss is also linked with past times, but Bliss is in this moment (maybe,you reach it when you live the same old moment again in this present moment).

Now if someone says that there is no such thing as "Bliss", I'll agree with you.It's just your own perspective,One is absolutely right in stating that 'Pursuit Of Happiness' is just an illogical idea as Happiness cann't be achieved just by pursuing for it.It's all about contentment.Either you get it or you don't and no one can help you in this regard.

Motive

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 18:08:00 +0000

Every morning I wake up and see students going to school/college for studying,people like me sleeping and bunking classes,profs going to the insti. for teaching,people going to their workplaces(business,office,industry etc.).I see a gardener mowing the grass,a carpenter finishing and polishing wood,and I see people fighting and dieing for money (even though,they have lots of it in their bank).
I hear the chirping of birds and watch them play.Right now,I am looking at a person who is feeding fishes in the 'Sky Lawns' pond,while a friend of mine is enjoying a meal with his girlfriend.And there is a group of people sitting next to me who are having a friendly banter( and are not at all bothered if the content of their conversation is beyond the levels of Social decency to be maintained at a public place).
Anyways throughout the day I see people doing various activities: Singing,dancing,listening to music,chatting,playing/involved in sports & games,reading(not only text books),writing(as I am doing now),browsing internet and so on.
People can also be found indulged in social activities,involved in the welfare of others/helping others.
People discuss,argue and debate among themselves on reasonable topics which reflects their intellect and at some other time,the same people can be seen doing irrational/incognitve actions('gen main hagna' in Bitsian jargon) which are totally absurd.There is so much contrast in the different activities performed by us at different times.
This makes me wonder: why do we do all these things? Is there some driving force behind it,or is it our natural tendency to do them?
The question first arose when I was trying to reason out why should I study,and then I thought over it;which made me realise that there are certain common reasons associated with everything done by an individual.

The Big Question:
Why does a person do any activity (be it earning money,working,studying,dancing,singing,reading,social activity,listening to music,chatting or even shagging) in his life??

a) Because he needs to do it for some reason or the other. The reasons may be numerous :you require the basic fundamental things for a living/survival,you need to satisfy your physiological needs e.g food,shelter etc.,but you do not want to restrain yourself here and you wish to advance,move forward in life,and achieve some pre-determined dreams.

b) Because he likes to do it.It gives him some sort of a pleasure.Humming a tune can be soothing so can be reading books.Chatting with a girl also gives an excitement to some people, shagging gives a sexual pleasure,doing social activities and helping others give a mental peace/mental relief and a feeling that you are doing something good.

c) Because he wants to be recognised and show it to the people around him (even though he may not be interested in doing it at all,but doing it has become a formality;rather a rewarded formality).There are many people who practice it: Pretentious claiming of one's actions is a very common observation,I can see many people being flamboyant whenever they donate money/ help others-both materially as well as emotionally (I mean any thing which is considered as
a 'Noble Cause'/ an 'Honourable Task' by most of us).Our behaviour is so derogatory that We even flaunt over a piece of suggestion given to a friend.

d) Because he wants to prove a point to the world/show his skills and capabilities to others and change the way people look at him.
/* Well,this is also 1 of the reasons,that, I am uploading this post on the web and not just keeping it to myself. */

e) Because people around him expect a lot from him / family or social obligations;not just expectations but duties also(it was my friend,Snehashish,who introduced this point to me,when we were discussing something).

The above 5 points,at times, are quite inter-related;for eg. you study to get knowledge and then earn money.With this money you'll satisfy some of your and your family's needs,buy some temporal things which will give you pleasure and the knowledge which you gained in this process will mark your eminence.

But,whatever be the situation or whatever be the reason,the crux of the whole story is that all your activities/actions are meant for your own benefit.
No,I am not being cynical or sarcastic or raising a doubt over anyone's objective,but either your benefit is the primary motive behind your actions or it's
a secondary/tertiary motive.And this is a fact, just think of any action which you do and you'll always find that either knowingly or unknowingly, a motive is always associated with it and this motive is meant to give you :

1.)Profit- With profit,I mean bullion,cash (you work/you run a business,for these things)and other objects which you buy with money(a ferrari maybe).I just came to know that the person feeding the fishes is an employee in the maintainance department of 'Sky Lawns' and what he did was just his duty.It's quite true that what he's doing is actually proving good for the fishes,but his motive linked with this act can not be denied.
People organise 'langars' (a feast for everyone where all the people irrespective of their class and caste sit together and eat) and 'havans'( a ceremony in which a holy fire is lit which is meant for cleansing the house and soul), don't you think these activities are meant for your profit,don't you think your gain is related to them.Why,according to you,do we pray to 'God' ?? Most of the times,we just ask for all sorts of materialistic things,(but it's only seldom that we thank him,and most of the times, the reason behind thanking him is again fulfillment of your further expectations).
/* I'm not an agnostic and this is not blasphemy. */
'Langar' definitely provides a meal to many under-privileged people, but at the same time it's also benefiting you (it is usually organised either when you are making a wish or on the completion of some of your wish/desire,and assuming that showing your reverence will help you and save you and your dear ones, from all the torments in life).

2.)Pleasure- This is the pleasure which is obtained through physical objects,materialistic things and also sexual pleasure and emotional satisfaction.This includes physical pleasure (the services which you can buy,for eg. relaxation in a ferrari,comfort in a spa,enjoyment at a pub/disco), as well as mental pleasure(the satisfaction of your desires like the feeling of being so-wealthy,owning so many cars, powerful/authoritarian due to your position) and mental relief(talking to a mate, confiding to a friend,sharing your beliefs and ideas to an associate,and when in a group..making fun of others;mocking and jeering at them,bitching about people; and in response anticipating that others will support your stand and maybe sympathise with you).
This is described as a pleasure of 'Lower Order'.

3,)Pleasure- First of all,this point is not a repetition of what I said above.This pleasure can not be explained through words,you need to experience it in order to understand it.It's just a state of mind and you need not require any physical object to feel it.This is a pleasure of 'Higher Order'.It's the pleasure associated with a singer when he's singing, the pleasure related to a dancer when he dances,the pleasure linked to a philosopher when he thinks,the pleasure accompanying the fervor of an artist to paint(in all,whenever you are completely indulged into something,and not just involved with it).So,this pleasure can also come when you are working and is many-a-times realised when you do something for the welfare of others,when you help others(when you try to understand the agony(both mental and physical) felt by someone else,try to find out how it really feels to be deprived of basic needs and then fix the problem,give emotional support to a person ) as in the case of feeding fishes and organising a 'langar'.

So,whenever you do anything,there is always a motive behind it and this motive is a combination of the above three points:

Motive = a1x1 + a2x2 + a3x3 (where x1=profit,x2=pleasure... and a1,a2 and a3 are variables such that a1 + a2 + a3 = 1),

and the values of a1,a2 and a3 are different for different people,based on the different preferences,they have in life.

Thinking Involved: I believe that any action/activity which involves thinking has a motive associated with it.Whenever you decide to take up any activity,the first thing which you do is to check the future prospects of it because our mind is such,that whenever it gets a chance to think,it foresees your profit/gain or your loss related with that activity and then decides whether that action should be executed or not. Writing,Dancing,Singing,Studying,Shagging,Working,Earning Money,Charity or Helping others; all of them involve a cautious effort so they have a motive(be it profit,lower pleasure,higher pleasure) linked with them.

I am also including some reflex actions and certain spontaneous responses of an individual in this category,for which we have a particular stereotypical answer stored somewhere in the mind.For eg. if a fragile glass object slips from your hand and breaks,then in your mind a specific response is set which orders you to catch the object if such a situation occurs again,the same is the case when a fielder dives to catch a ball.
Now consider these situations:you are walking down a crowded road and then accidentally you bang against a person,the first word which comes out of your mouth is 'Sorry'; or saying 'Thank you' to any random person after his service (to a waiter at a restaurant, an auto-rickshaw driver),even knowing that you won't ever require his service again.
It may seem to you that these responses were without any motive,that they are impulsive actions and did not involve a thought-process.But,I see them as the basic values taught to us at school,the responses which are imbibed/etched in the minds of some of us; and as we were taught all these things, a motive was linked with them ('characteristics of a good human being',yeah.. that's how it was taught in school) which is again meant to benefit us ( But, I actually respect a person, who has carried all these values with him and is practicing them ).
Now suppose,you are carrying a sharp object in your hand and it slips from your hand, your mind will ask you to catch the falling object.Though the final outcome is injuring you,but initially this reaction was triggered to prevent breaking the object/your benefit.
And as I said, in the beginning,either knowingly or unknowingly most of your actions are meant to benefit you.

I can not think of many activities/actions which are carried out without a motive/thinking, but there are a few which do not have any motive and which do not have any profit/gain/pleasure associated with them.

Throughout this post,I didn't talk much about motive behind human relations.(One reason is that the size of this post will become too large and I also fear that I'll reach a conclusion that's difficult for me to believe).

Right or Wrong

noreply@blogger.com (trikha) — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 19:49:00 +0000

Finally,I'm also writing a blog.This blog is an integration of my ideas and has come up from different experiences in life I have had so far,and a thought process which has evolved over time.A process in which I have contradicted myself many-a-times.The quest began(and is still going on) with questions arousing in my mind,questions to which no definite answer exists.And the more I tried to go in the insight of it,more questions popped up and I found myself pondering again in search of an explanation.
Well,according to Physics-"The beauty of a Question lies in the simplicity of it's Answer".But there are certain fascinating questions to which the answer is not so simple(or maybe I havn't found one yet).Due to the enigma or the mystery related to these questions,I have tried to reason out certain things and finally reached a conclusion,with which I am quite satisfied(atleast for the time-being,but you never know,when you'll come across a new idea or a way of thinking about which you had never thought of).

Before you begin reading the first post,I will like to tell you that:
1.) The human mind and human behaviour cannot be comprehended.
2.) All the things in the world cannot be generalized anyhow.So whenever I quote 'Everything',I wish to convey 'most of the things'.

Does anything like Right or Wrong exists ?
Seeing the world full of hypocrites, introverts, selfish people and people trying to justify themselves for every action they do has made me ask this question to myself.

Definition of right and wrong:
I don't know if there is any universal definition in this regard or not, as they are both relative terms.So i believe that everyone has his own definitions for right and wrong.
I think it's the criteria of classification which matters more, rather than the definition.There are no absolute parameters,in accordance to which,you can classify things as either right or wrong and thus no global criteria exists.
Infact at the same time reference, this criteria for judgement of right and wrong is different for different people, and moreover, in different situations and at different points of time the criteria is different for the very same human being.

a.) In respect of Your Own Actions :
To be liberal, you can certainly find people who regret what they did in the past and some might also agree that they were wrong in doing that.
While the others simply find a better explanation for it and blame their situation,their misery,their surroundings,the time,the moment and so much else for their deeds.
As a matter of fact, the thing which today seems wrong/prohibited/unfair to you may turn out to be right/acceptable/essential in your view after sometime or vice-versa.
It's the human tendency to experiment with things and if the outcome is satisfactory or as we had thought it to be,we flaunt of our past actions and if it's the other way,we regret our past decisions.So,it can be stated that our perception of right and wrong changes on the basis of our experience.
As the time passes,our priorities in life keep on changing and they also help in manipulating our definition/criteria of right and wrong.For a person, right now,adventure/pleasure may be the primary concern and it's quite possible that after some time, safety/health might become the primary concern for him, which will in turn change his assessment of actions.

But how many people,do you think, agree to it that what they are doing right now/at this very moment is wrong or unethical or maybe totally uncalled for ?
Well, I haven't seen anyone agreeing to it unconditionally. "I have no other option", "You won't understand","Try to look at the scenario keeping yourself at my place" are some of the common remarks which are accompanied with an answer to the question.
It's quite simple; whatever you do; it becomes right for you, it becomes acceptable in your opinion,no matter how you had thought about the same thing in the past.
I can recall that in school we were taught stuff like "Jhooth Bolna Paap Hai, Chori Karna Paap Hai" etc. but a corrupt government employee who had learned the same lesson in school and had agreed to it at that time, would go to the extent of accusing the whole system but would never hold himself responsible for accepting bribe.
I would rather say that at a particular moment,you are never wrong in your own regard.You always justify your each and every action and try to convince others to believe the same.

But there's one thing which I think you must have felt,that whenever you tried to defy the parameters set by you or imposed on you, and wanted to do something new which earlier you would have considered wrong,there's a force/there's a voice inside you which stops you/which warns you from doing that thing and you have to convince yourself very hard that there's no other option and you have to do it.
I will call this voice/force as your "Inner Self". Eventually,your desire/your greed overcomes this weak inner self and you are, more or less,convinced that what you are doing now is justified and acceptable.

b.) Who decides right or wrong ?
When we do not reach the stage of thinking critically about things and can not decide our own good, we abide by the society,our family and our surroundings which has already categorised things as right or wrong for us. But the society is formed by people like us and according to the convenience/interest of the people the rule book keeps on changing.Based on the experiences and the practices of our forefathers,elders and other people around us, things are imposed on
us and this is how our initial understanding of right and wrong develops.

I whole-heartedly agree that there is a great need to learn certain (not all) moral values,that there are a few things which are needed to be passed on from one generation to the next for your betterment as they have evolved from invaluable contributions and suggestions which these people had made for the benefit of mankind.

/* And I'm quite sure that if there was no law & order, no governance,no police and no regulating authority, no restrictions in all;then without these moral values/without these teachings,the world would have again turned back to Barbarism. */

So, to an extent society does play a useful role in our development.But "Jhooth Bolna Paap Hai,Chori Karna Paap Hai" belongs to that category of actions towards which almost everyone of us, has a common opinion.
There is another category of actions,about which different strata of people in different parts of the globe think differently.And our society is therefore,inclined either towards the positive aspect/accepting those actions or the negative aspect/(discarding those actions) of it.

As i mentioned earlier about our "Inner Self",now you can clearly see that as our society is biased ,and so are we towards things right from the beginning.
Maybe the values which we learned initially had a flaw in them or it's quite possible that a better alternative existed which they(our society,our forefathers etc.) had neglected.
So whom should you believe, the society(the lessons imparted in school,the values taught through family) or your inner-self ? Well,I think neither of them can be believed completely, because our inner-self has defined parameters,has formulated ideas on the basis of the teachings of a biased society.

c.) The process of decision making:
Finally ,It's you who has to decide what's right or wrong for you.You have to initiate and pursue this process yourself.But how are you supposed to do it when you can not, wholly trust either the society or your inner-self ?
So,the first step is to define your own parameters on the basis of which you would further classify things.That means through the personal experience you gain,the knowledge which you acquire yourself and your own understanding, you should formulate the criteria for assessment.This is your own Inner-Self.
The next step is to rethink about everything which the world has taught you so far .
But this criteria should be open to changes,it has to be flexible and not at all rigid, because with the passage of time your experience grows, your knowledge expands and your understanding moves into newer dimensions.
Whenever you come across a new situation or a new idea is introduced to you, you'll have to compare it with your own parameters.If it lies within the limits, you consider it as right,and if it does not then you check your extent of permissibility.If it does not lie into this extent,you discard it, and if it does and satisfies some of your motives, you still take it as right and now your parameter,prior to this decision,has changed into a new parameter and from the
next time onwards you judge things taking into account this new parameter.It is at this time,that because of the clash between your existing ideas and the new idea being given a place into your list of 'Rights',that you hear voices/experience a force from your inner self.

It means that the 'Inner-Self'' is not always the same,it also changes with time and situation as our parameters change.These parameters keep on mingling and so is our Inner-Self.

Inner-Self or Criteria of Assessment = a1x1 + a2x2 + a3x3 + a4x4 +.........

x1,x2,x3,x4 are different human values like compassion, tolerance, forgiveness, selfishness,lust,greed etc. or some common actions like stealing,lending, helping, etc.
a1,a2,a3,a4 are the Parameters whose value changes with time and situation.They vary between 0 to 1, where 0 implies no scope for that value and 1 denotes that you are completely into it.

/* The above explanation does not describe the entire human behaviour,there are questions which still need to be answered:
Why would we save a stray dog who has fallen into a well/pit and not an insect in the same condition when neither of them is going to win us a fortune ?
Different things appeal us to different extents...maybe due to their appearance,size,shape */

Till here it seems that: you are always right in your regard/all your actions are justified by you at any moment,(though this same action of yours may seem to be wrong in the future) and you have a judging criteria/inner self which changes with experience,situation,time and as you do/decide about new things.
So if everything,that people do is right/good in their own perspective,then where is the evil/wrong stuff in the world ?

d.) In respect of other's actions :
But until now everything that has been stated is about you,your actions,their justification by you and your decisions.
Evil/Bad/Wrong is in your eyes and with these eyes you can only see the world around you and maybe your past.That's why we see a wrong only at the time of judging other's actions.
One of the ways in which you try to convince yourself and other's about the justification of your action is through the justification of the motive(the need,your misery,your situation,no other options)/the hidden motives (which won't strike anyone else so easily ) behind it.
And if the motive/thinking is justified,the action is itself justified.
On the contrary,it's only seldom,that we go into the insight of why a person is behaving/reacting in a particular manner or why is he doing something which is unacceptable in our opinion.
We tend to ignore such details when it comes to assessment of other's actions and we usually see what we want to.
Keeping yourself at other's place,trying to look at the situation from his point of view will not make you feel that his action is wrong.
I think we all are hypocrites because for a particular action,we have a certain criteria for ourselves and a different criteria for assessment,if the same action,is done by some other person.
For eg. if you blast off at someone,and justify your action by blaming your state of mind/your frustration for it,you think that what you did was inevitable(if not right).
Now let's suppose if the same thing happens to you,then how are you gonna react to it? Well,you yourself know it better.

Conclusion:
Finally,regarding the inner-self which keeps on changing(with time and situation),I feel that there is something inside us which is always the same and even different situations and time cannot affect it.These are the basic emotions/feelings with which we are born (We all are born with different extents of compassion ,tolerance ,self-respect ,selfishness ,aggression, modesty, humility,temperament,sense of humour,different ways of approach towards a given situation).These emotions/feelings form the core inside us and help in shaping our behaviour/personality,and no matter what happens this core is always unaltered.
With the teachings of the world and learning from your experiences,an inner-self is developed which tends to shield this core,and depending on various levels of shielding this core is either completely lost somewhere inside you or some portion of this core is retained by you which is eventually reflected in your behaviour/personality.
But this core is invariably the same and always exists somewhere inside you.

Now talking about the existence of right and wrong:
In my opinion, there does exist a right and wrong at a particular moment and for every moment(though it may be different from the previous 'right'&'wrong').

For me:'Right' is something which you decide and Wrong is something which you make.

/* I am of the view that everything that exists,that is done is right so i say:'Right' is something which you decide and Wrong is something which you make.
If I had begun with the view that everything that exists/is done is wrong it would have been better to say:'Wrong' is something which you decide and 'right' is something which you make.
Actually both right and wrong is made by you. */