My philosophy of Life

ALWAYS SPEAK THE WORD OF GOD

2012-01-17T06:42:00.000-08:00

It's vital to speak God's Word.

Find your voice!
Every day wake up and speak God's word - not your own words- to the circumstances of your life. By doing so, you are releasing your faith. You are also dispatching angels when you speak God's Word into your life. The angels you dispatch start gathering materials to build your day- to build your life. Preparing angels go before you to do your bidding.
The most vital issue in the life of a Christian is to hear from God. When you hear from God that is how you get wisdom. You need to have a hearing heart because unless you learn to hear from God you'll be stuck where you are the rest of your life. Success comes by hearing God's voice on an every day continuing basis. We have to be spending time with someone in order to recognize and hear their voice, it is the same with God. Spend time in reading the bible and in prayer and you will be able to hear him. Once you hear him, take that word and speak it into your life.
Things that block hearing from God are unbelief and an undeveloped spirit. To believe you simply make a choice and a decision that you will stand firm on and believe it no matter what. To develop your spirit you need to read and meditate daily on the word of God, the Bible. You need to obey the word and pray and listen for God's voice in your life.To Hear we need to expect to hear and we need to balance and confirm what we hear with the teachings of the word of God.
Unbelief is sin. If God said it, we should believe it. He says that the Spirit of Truth will guide us and tell us things so we must believe that. He says he will teach me and profit me and I believe it. One word from God can change our circumstances in life , he has a million ways of how to work things out that we can not even see.
So, when we speak God's own words over our circumstances and over our lives we are diligently depositing in our hearts building materials to construct our lives. The Word itself contains the power to produce what it says. Just as when God said, “Let there be light” and there was light, healing Scriptures contain within them the capacity to produce healing.
We should deposit these things and sow these things into our lives by our "Eye gate", "Ear gate", and by our "Mouth gate". What we sow is made of material we can't naturally see, it is invisible. God uses the invisible things to build the visible things into our lives.
Sometimes when we speak the word of God over our lives we are speaking what is not as though it were already. This is done in faith. We know God's word to be true and instead of saying "I am sick today." we can say "I know God said to ask him and it will be given so I asked for healing and have it coming to me as I speak this now."
If you understand the words you speak over your life then they can't be stolen away from you by the enemy of our souls. For with what measure you hear, it shall be measured to you. Hard times arise, peaks and valleys both form throughout the course of life but God's word remains true and solid and you should strive to understand His words. If you understand the things you are speaking over your life it won't matter what point in life it is being spoken over. Truth is truth and your understanding of that truth is what matters.
For healing, speak healing words that God shows you in the Bible, for debt cancellation speak the prosperous life giving scriptures over your circumstances. God wants to give us anything that we can handle while keeping him first in our lives. Jesus defeated Satan by saying, "It is written", followed by what God's word said. We can defeat him that way as well.
Employ your angels, they do God's pleasure, they want to act on his words. Speak God's words , train your mind to think upon God's words and God's words will become more and more a major part of your life.
The word ordained means to administer, to have charge of. The promises in the Bible are also given to us who believe. The promises are ordained by angels. So angels are made chief agents of the promises into our lives. That means that the angels are managing, conducting, furnishing, supplying, distributing the promises into our lives as we employ them by speaking the words of God over our lives.
We have been given power to tread on serpents , our words are a creating force. It's the job of the angels to execute the promises of the word. So don't ignore asking God to send his managers the angels to our situations .
When I am referring to the "promises" I mean the things that God's word says we are heir to and that we can have. Things such as healing, salvation, blessings, protection, deliverance, etc. We need to give that word voice- our voice through our mouth gate. Open up your mouth and and say what God said in his word- the Bible, then angels will begin work to carry it out.
The word of God is alive and powerful. That is hard to imagine but it is true. God created the world and the universe by SPEAKING. Be consistent and God will make a way for his own words to be carried out in your life. Just remember to stay in the Bible and really get to know God and hear his voice and his words he speaks to you.
Some helpful scriptures to speak over your life are :

Proverbs 18:10 The Lord is my Protector, I am protected by God.
Phillipians 4:19 The Lord is my Provider, I am provided for by God.
Galatians 3:19 I am the seed of Abraham, God gave "all" by promise to Abraham and his seed.
Proverbs 4:22– For they (His Words) are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.
Isaiah 55:11–The Word of God will accomplish what it was sent out to do.
Exodus 23:25- As I serve the Lord, sickness is taken from my midst.
Deut. 28: 1-14- The blessings of Abraham have come upon me.
Psalm 112:1,3 - Wealth and riches are in my house. I reverence the Lord and delight greatly in His commandments.
1 Timothy 6:17 - I trust in the living God Who gives me richly all things to enjoy.
Galatians 6:9 - In due season I shall reap. I do not give up.

When we speak the Word of God back to Him, we are praying in agreement with what He has already spoken, thereby releasing His power into our lives. Without this power our prayers and lives are empty.So, open your mouth today and every day and speak God's own powerful words over your life.
If you need help finding the right scriptures to speak aloud, check your local bookstore to find a Bible Promises book that has scriptures listed by subject. It should help you get started but nothing can replace the time you spend reading the Bible yourself and seeing what "pops" out and reveals itself to you - that is God speaking to you showing you exactly what you need pertaining to the circumstances you are in at the time. Take those words and speak those truths over the current circumstances, by doing that you are starting the building process to build the life you really desire and need. You are actually sowing a seed, planting a seed. Next, you will need time and water, sun and nurture, then comes the harvest.
No matter how small the progress seems it is going to work. God's word can not and will not fail.

"So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it."

Isaiah 55:11 NKJV

Six Interventions To Rescue Your Relationship

2011-08-09T04:36:00.000-07:00

1: Let go of your expectations

That relationship you think you ought to be having isn't real. Resist the urge to compare and despair. Ask yourself if you didn't have an idea that things should be different, how would it change how you feel right now?

2: Be present

How much of the "problem" is to do with either things that happened in the past or your fears about what might happen in the future? See that living, breathing person in front of you? The one that is actually here, right now? Give them some attention. Not just some in fact, give them one hundred percent of your undivided attention. Really look at them - with eye contact!

3: Be honest

With yourself and with your beloved. Radical Honesty is the key. Give up the denial and stop trying to manipulate the situation. The truth will set you free - but please remember to tell it kindly.

4: Listen

Tell them that you want to really listen and then shut up and do it. Bite your tongue if necessary. No interrupting. Give them the gift of being willing to hear whatever they want to say without repercussions. No responding, defending or justifying allowed.

5: Give what you'd like to receive

All the time. Especially when you are mad. That's the time to make the extra effort. It's easy to be loving when it's easy. The tough get loving when the loving gets tough.

Buy flowers when you are furious. Get out the lingerie when you least feel like wearing it. Offer a foot rub when you want to run away. You'll be amazed at the results.

6: Be vulnerable

Instead trying desperately to avoid the pain you think is coming, decide to face it and stay open in spite of it. Stop defending yourself, stop trying to get your point across and most importantly, stop trying to be right.

Each of these interventions can be very powerful by itself. Start to combine them and you have quite an impressive tool-kit to bring to the table. Maybe even more importantly is that, regardless of the outcome, practicing these techniques will help you feel better -- and feel better about yourself during the process.

Share this list with your beloved. Since what you are doing isn't working anyway, why not suggest something different? Above all, always remember that the only person actually under your control is you.

ARE YOU READY FOR THAT MIRACLE

2011-05-10T02:46:00.000-07:00

Whatever you are going through, praise Him in the midst of it. In case you didn't know, the Word says: No weapon formed against you shall prosper (see below). You may be in the middle of a trial: you lost your job, you were given bad news related to your health, your kids are acting up, your finances are under attack.... be encouraged.

Here's what you can do while you are in the midst of the storm:
1. Pray fervently.
2. Praise him, even when you don't see the rain ceasing.
3. Stand on His Word.
4. Meditate on all He's done for you.
5. Prepare for your miracle.

Did you ever think that you are in the middle of a trial because there is a lesson you need to learn, before you can handle your miracle?

Let Him prune you. You will floursih like never before...
Here are a few scriptures for your day:

Isaiah 54:16-17 (New International Version)
16 "See, it is I who created the blacksmith
who fans the coals into flame
and forges a weapon fit for its work.
And it is I who have created the destroyer to work havoc;

17 no weapon forged against you will prevail,
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
and this is their vindication from me,"
declares the LORD.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (New International Version)
3For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

John 15:1-3 (New International Version)
1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.

YOU CANT DO IT ALONE
Do you feel like you can't do it on your own? You don't have to, Jesus will help you. Today, when you find yourself in an overwhelmimg situation, remember He's just a prayer away. He will rejoice with you, comfort you in times of sadness and rescue you from peril.

Jesus is the only one you NEED to call...

Scriptures for Your Day

Matthew 10:37-39 (New International Version)
37"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

The Meaning of the Parable of the Sower
Luke 8:11-15 (New International Version)
11"This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. 12Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. 13Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. 14The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. 15But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

Jesus Calms the Storm

Jesus Calms the Storm
Luke 8:22-25 (New International Version)
22One day Jesus said to his disciples, "Let's go over to the other side of the lake." So they got into a boat and set out. 23As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger.
24The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!"

He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. 25"Where is your faith?" he asked his disciples.
In fear and amazement they asked one another, "Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him."

In Your Storm Time, Always Remember What God Has Done for You

2011-05-10T02:34:00.000-07:00

What do you do when your life becomes engulfed in a sudden storm? Do you panic? Do you cry out to the Lord? Would you stay calm and remember? Remember what you ask?

When David was being persecuted, he praised the Lord and meditated on His goodness. David reminded himself of all the times God had forgiven him, saved him from his enemies and blessed him.
What did remembering God's miracles accomplish?
It reminded him that he served a loving, powerful, righteous God. God never abandoned David, even when he sinned. It gave him strength to persevere.

Why should you remember the miracles God has done in your life?
Reflecting on the blessings and miracles God has given you, gives you strength to go on. As the waves are crashing, the winds are blowing and the skies are troubled, put your trust in God. Go forward knowing, He's never let you down. He only wants the best for you.

What can you do during your times of trouble?1. Meditate on His Word. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Read about the miracles he gave the heroes of the Bible.
2. Remind yourself of all the things he has done in your life. Can't think of anything? He gives you the breath of life every morning. He encamps his angels around you as you go about your day. He's blessed you with family and loved ones, food, a job, shelter, transportation and so much more.
3. Remember where you were when you first came to the Lord. I'm sure you've changed a lot.
4. Have faith, peseverance and patience to wait on Him. When he delivers you from your trials and tribulation and gives you victory, nothing can take it away.
5. Pray for others. Sometimes when you pray for others and minister to them, your problems don't seem as overwhelming.

No matter how bad things get in my life, I always remember what God has done for me.

Psalm 116:11-13 (New International Version)
11 And in my dismay I said,
"All men are liars."

12 How can I repay the LORD
for all his goodness to me?

13 I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the LORD.

Psalm 34:3-5 (New International Version)
3 Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.

4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.

5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.

2 Timothy 4:16-18 (New International Version)
16At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. 17But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth. 18The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Are You In the Middle of a Storm? Cry out

2011-05-10T02:11:00.000-07:00

Scriptures for Today:

Proverbs 18:23-24 (New International Version)

23 A poor man pleads for mercy,
but a rich man answers harshly.

24 A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

The Prodigal Son
11And He said, "A man had two sons.

12"The younger of them said to his father, 'Father, give me (E)the share of the estate that falls to me ' So he divided his (F)wealth between them.

13"And not many days later, the younger son gathered everything together and went on a journey into a distant country, and there he squandered his estate with loose living.

14"Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to be impoverished.

15"So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

16"And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him.

17"But when he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger!

18'I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight;

19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men."'

20"So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and (G)embraced him and kissed him.

21"And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'

22"But the father said to his slaves, 'Quickly bring out (H)the best robe and put it on him, and (I)put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet;

23and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate;

24for this son of mine was (J)dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.' And they began to celebrate.

Are You In the Middle of a Storm? God is Still Standing for You

2011-05-09T06:12:00.000-07:00

Are You In the Middle of a Storm?God is Still Standing for You

Are you going through a storm where you feel that there is no end in sight? Call upon Him. He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. No matter what you have done, you can ask for forgiveness and cry out to God. Your Heavenly Father will embrace you with HIS love.
May this song bless you today and every day..

Smokie Norful: I Need You Now

Scriptures for Today:

Proverbs 18:23-24 (New International Version)

23 A poor man pleads for mercy,
but a rich man answers harshly.

24 A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

The Prodigal Son
11And He said, "A man had two sons.

12"The younger of them said to his father, 'Father, give me (E)the share of the estate that falls to me ' So he divided his (F)wealth between them.

13"And not many days later, the younger son gathered everything together and went on a journey into a distant country, and there he squandered his estate with loose living.

14"Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to be impoverished.

15"So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

16"And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him.

17"But when he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger!

18'I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight;

19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men."'

20"So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and (G)embraced him and kissed him.

21"And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'

22"But the father said to his slaves, 'Quickly bring out (H)the best robe and put it on him, and (I)put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet;

23and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate;

24for this son of mine was (J)dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.' And they began to celebrate.

Liked this entry? Share it with others by tagging it, stumbling it and digging it!

There once was a time, when I was invited to church and I would decline. I would tell my friend that the walls would fall down the day I walked through the door. Although I had not done anything illegally wrong, I felt unworthy of walking into that church. Not long after my coworker first started inviting me, I attended the church. I was born again. I was married there and dedicated my first born to the Lord in those hallowed walls.

Do you feel like you've done something so wrong that you are unworthy of God's love?

There is nothing that Jesus' blood cannot wipe away. No matter what you've done, whether you've had an abortion, had an affair or walked away from The Lord-He is still waiting with open arms. Nothing can separate us from the love of God.

Come to The Lord. How?
1. Repent. Acknowledge you were wrong and be proactive about changing.
2. Ask God for forgivness.
3. Forgive yourself. Don't carry the burden. Let it go.
4. Ask for the forgiveness of those you have wronged.
5. Find a church that is true to the Word of God (to be spiritually fed and for fellowship).

Remember, God loves you. Even if you were the only human on earth. Jesus would have still died on the cross for you. You are engraved in his hand....

Some Scriptures to Read
Romans 8:38-39 (New International Version)

38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord

Isaiah 49:15-17 (New International Version)
15 "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!

16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are ever before me.

17 Your sons hasten back,
and those who laid you waste depart from you.

John 3:2-3 (New International Version)
2He came to Jesus at night and said, "Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him."

3In reply Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.

Liked this entry? Share it with others by tagging it, stumbling it and digging it! 7%

One day a while back, a man, his heart heavy with grief, was walking in the woods. As he thought about his life this day, he knew many things were not right. He thought about those who had lied about him back when he had a job.

His thoughts turned to those who had stolen his things and cheated him. He remembered family that had passed on. His mind turned to the illness he had, that no one could cure. His very soul was filled with anger, resentment, and frustration.

Standing there this day, searching for answers he could not find, knowing all else had failed him, he knelt at the base of an old oak tree to seek the one he knew would always be there. And with tears in his eyes, he prayed:

"Lord- You have done wonderful things for me in this life. You have told me to do many things for you, and I happily obeyed. Today, you have told me to forgive. I am sad, Lord, because I cannot, I don't know how. It is not fair Lord, I didn't deserve these wrongs that were done against me and I shouldn't have to forgive. As perfect as your way is Lord, this one thing I cannot do, for I don't know how to forgive. My anger is so deep Lord, I fear I may not hear you, but I pray you teach me to do the one thing I cannot do: Teach me to forgive ."
As he knelt there in the quiet shade of that old oak tree, he felt something fall onto his shoulder. He opened his eyes. Out of the corner of one eye, he saw something red on his shirt. He could not turn to see what it was because where the oak tree had been was a large square piece of wood in the ground. He raised his head and saw two feet held to the wood with a large spike through them.

He raised his head more, and tears came to his eyes as he saw Jesus hanging on a cross. He saw spikes in His hands, a gash in His side, a torn and battered body, deep thorns sunk into His head. Finally he saw the suffering and pain on His precious face. As their eyes met, the man's tears turned to sobbing, and Jesus began to speak.

"Have you ever told a lie?" He asked?

The man answered - "Yes, Lord."

"Have you ever been given too much change and kept it?"

The man answered - "Yes. Lord." And the man sobbed more and more.

"Have you ever taken something from work that wasn't yours?" Jesus asked?

And the man answered, "Yes, Lord."

"Have you ever sworn, using my Father's name in vain?"

The man, crying now, answered - "Yes, Lord."

As Jesus asked many more times, "Have you ever"? The man's crying became uncontrollable, for he could only answer - "Yes, Lord".

Then Jesus turned His head from one side to the other, and the man felt something fall on his other shoulder. He looked and saw that it was the blood of Jesus. When he looked back up, his eyes met those of Jesus, and there was a look of love the man had never seen or known before.

Jesus said, "I didn't deserve this either, but I forgive you."

It may be hard to see how you're going to get through something, but when you look back in life, you realize how true this statement is.

Read the following first line slowly and let it sink in.

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of you! If you are one of the 7% who will stand up for Him, forward this with the Title 7%

Why Your Fears Won’t Come True

2011-04-15T03:20:00.000-07:00

Fear doesn’t work the way we think it does. I’ll teach you something cool about fear that you can start putting to use right away.
When something scares you, you usually just have an aversion to the notion of that thing. Just the thought of making certain phone calls, confronting certain people, or making certain commitments makes the butterflies bubble up.
This is the point where we usually back down, and distract ourselves from the thought of it by checking email or doing some cleaning or organizing that suddenly seems important.
Quitting my last job to go traveling was something I was afraid of for a long time before I did it. It was a very small company, my boss had been good to me, and I knew it was going to be a blow that came out of nowhere. The thought of it made me nervous, and I decided to put it off till the next day, ten or twelve times.

Most fears keep us at arm’s length like that: we back down at just the idea of doing something nerve-wracking. The fear has done its job — to keep us from going there — and so we don’t look any closer at what it is we’re really afraid of about that idea.
If you do look closely at almost any fear, it’s always a specific moment you’re fearing. A moment with awful feelings in it — awkwardness, pain, shame, guilt, horror, angst. Life unfolds only in moments, so what else could the problem be except some of the moments that you might run into? Ultimately that’s all you are ever fearing: moments that you believe will force you to experience feelings you really don’t want to experience. If you really break it down there’s nothing else that drives us but the appeal of feelings we want to experience and the fear of feelings we don’t want to experience. Whatever the feeling is, it’s a feeling you’ve already experienced at some point in your life. You couldn’t be afraid of it if you hadn’t.
The longer we live, the more nasty experiences we have, and the more fears we carry around. But we forget that it’s really acute experiences we’re trying to avoid, and instead we let entire categories of actions and notions get dismissed from our lives, because they represent those experiences.

The cat who was afraid of grass for all the wrong reasons

We had a cat who was afraid of the front lawn. She would creep up to it, sniff it a bit, then tear across it like she was being chased. I watched her do this a few times before learning that my Dad had once turned on the sprinkler hose while she was lying beside it. After that, to her the lawn was a bad place, because it represented the threat of a terrible experience she didn’t want to have again.
She got over it, probably after accidentally having a few good experiences around the lawn. Animals are probably better at forgetting this stuff. Humans cling to fears because our thinking is so hopelessly lost in symbols and categories. We hold onto this idea that we can fence off the painful areas of life if we’re careful enough.
They aren’t all big things. There were so many foods I didn’t eat for years just because my first run-in with them was bad one. I didn’t eat onions for a second time until I was an adult, just because I ate a piece of raw white onion when I was little.
I didn’t recognize that there are a million different ways an onion-eating experience could actually go down — after all, who eats large chunks of raw, white onion? — but I had already cordoned off “onion” as a no-go zone for me, because I refused to ever subject myself to the burning, acidic experience of my first close encounter with an onion.
Onions in all forms became fearsome symbols of that lone, unbearable experience, and so I steered my whole life clear of them. This is the distance at which we normally detect and respond to our fears — from far enough away that we don’t really understand what it is we’re fearing. I was fearing the return of a single, awful moment I had when I was a kid.
One day more than a decade later, I bit the bullet and tried something with onion on it, because it was either that or eat nothing. And I had a different experience. It wasn’t bad. “Onion” came to symbolize a much better experience.

What you fear can’t really happen

What I’ve come to realize is that all my fears of the future are actually fears of the past.
Each of us has a whole bank of awful moments in our memories, each of which are so painful that we can’t accept that we could experience the same pain again.
If the thought of something you want to do rouses fear in you, think: what is the experience — the feeling — I’m actually fearing here? You don’t have to psychoanalyze yourself and try to figure out the childhood memory it comes from, but it doesn’t take much thought to identify the precise experience you can’t bear to risk happening.
By obeying our fears from arm’s length, we end up cordoning off enormous areas of possibility. Life is inescapably risky and painful, not to mention 100% fatal. So don’t think you can dodge pain, awkwardness or by backing down from something a bit scary.
The real bad stuff isn’t going to be something you had the foresight to worry about anyway. From Baz Luhrmann’s famous speech: “The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.”
Now, of course there are all sorts of unpleasant scenarios that can happen. But there is no way you can cordon off enough of life to eliminate the risk of pain, and that’s what our fears are trying to do.
And I can tell you, as somebody who’s been a lifelong master cordon-offer, building all those walls will guarantee you way more pain than almost anything else. There’s no better way to limit your skills, experience, personal power, income and prospects. How do you think people get stuck in jobs and relationships they know are killing them?
What you fear, whatever horrible scenario you think you’re avoiding — it isn’t going to happen anyway. Similar outcomes may happen, but it will never unfold quite like you expected, because that would make you a genuine psychic.
The difficult phone conversation you’ve been putting off: there is no way it will do down exactly like you expect it will. It will take a different line, a different tone, either slightly or entirely. But your fear, as it is, will not come true.
Whenever you notice you have some unnerving scenario brewing in your mind, remember one inalienable fact — no matter what scenario you’re picturing:
This is not the way it’s actually going to go down.
It can’t be, because you can’t predict the future. All situations are far more complex that you can possibly calculate, and fear has a way of completely screwing with your higher faculties. Whatever horrible moments you’re afraid of, they cannot match the way the situation is actually going to go down.
Fear of the future is fear of the past. You can’t fear the future because you don’t know the future. You’re just deathly afraid that certain parts of the past will happen again.
Next time you travel to somewhere new, either a new city, a new neighborhood, or even a new building, try to picture what it will be like — what it will look like, what it will feel like to be there. No matter what kind of information you have about it, your imagined impression will be wrong. Because you’re building it only with what’s already in your head. What it’s actually built of, what it actually looks and feels like, is not there in your head so you just can’t get it right.
This is what fearsome thoughts are made of: stuff that’s already in your head — experiences you’ve already had, and categorically not experiences you’re yet to have. You can’t know the moment you’re afraid of, because it doesn’t exist yet. So your fear cannot come true.
Whatever happens, the form it will take will be different. It might be bad, it might be good. It might open a door for you you never knew was there.
But I think we typically over-fear by default. Time and time again in my life I have been surprised at how easy and rewarding most of these scary propositions end up being when I go ahead with them anyway. When they really hurt me is when I keep them at arm’s length, untackled, where they stalk me and mock me.
Those dreaded conversations, when I finally take them on, never turn out quite like I thought. I’ve rehearsed long tangents of tricky conversations that never happened. I’ve even flow-charted intimidating phone calls in my head — if he says A I’ll say B, if he says C, I’ll say D.
This is almost always useless. He never says A, or C. That’s because whatever I’ve predicted, that’s not the way it’s going to go down. Because I’m just chicken, not psychic.
I can guess at what’s going to happen, and of course I’m apt to guess that something terrible will happen, just so that I can convince myself it’s a dangerous action to take and I can feel justified in relieving myself from the responsibility of doing it. It lets me off the hook for the moment, and I gain another roaming spectre in my life and another long-lasting no-go zone. Well done.

Fear is fun

When you feel fear, take that as a reminder to bring curiosity to the moment. Something new is on the other side of it. If you act in spite of the fear, something exciting is going to go down. Nine times out of ten you’ll end up gaining some situational benefit, and ten times out of ten, you’ll feel stronger immediately.

And maybe there is a passing unpleasant feeling that will come with it. It’s probably a good trade-off anyway. Some of the best prizes in my life have come just on the other side of something I was afraid of, and they didn’t end up being difficult or painful at all. They were so close to me the whole time, and I would never have known what they were offering.
Even if the situation does unravel into a debacle of some kind, if you can remember to keep that sense of curiosity alive throughout it, if you can drop the insane hope that you can control things by fearing them, if you can keep your sense of humor close by, it can actually be amusing to watch everything fall apart.
Think of what a powerful notion that is: fear is fun.
Have fun today.

88 Important Truths I’ve Learned About Life

2011-04-15T02:49:00.000-07:00

Everyone gets drilled with certain lessons in life. Sometimes it takes repeated demonstrations of a given law of life to really get it into your skull, and other times one powerful experience drives the point home once forever. Here are 88 things I’ve discovered about life, the world, and its inhabitants by this point in my short time on earth.
1. You can’t change other people, and it’s rude to try.
2. It is a hundred times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place.
3. If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about whatever you’re talking about than you do.
4. The cheapest and most expensive models are usually both bad deals.
5. Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly.
6. Bad moment will come and go your whole life, and trying to force them away makes them run deeper and last longer.
7. Children are remarkably honest creatures until we teach them not to be.
8. If everyone in the TV show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.
9. Yelling always makes things worse.
10. Whenever you’re worried about what others will think of you, you’re really just worried about what you’ll think of you.
11. Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it.
13. If you never doubt your beliefs, then you’re wrong a lot.
14. Managing one’s wants is the most powerful skill a person can learn.
15. Nobody has it all figured out.
16. Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.
17. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.
18. Whenever you hate something, it hates you back: people, situations and inanimate objects alike.
20. People embellish everything, as a rule.
21. Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even moreso.
22. Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we are.
23. When people are uncomfortable with the present moment, they fidget with their hands or their minds. Watch and see.

24. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.
25. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.
26. Credit card debt devours souls.
27. Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world. It’s just way too big for any one person to know it well.
28. Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.
29. A person who is unafraid to present a candid version of herself to the world is as rare as diamonds.
30. The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people.
31. If what you’re doing feels perfectly safe, there is probably a better course of action.
32. The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language.
33. Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.
34. Everyone you meet is better than you at something.
35. Proof is nothing but a collection of opinions that match your own.
36. Knowledge is belief, nothing more.
37. indulging your desire is not self love
38. What makes human beings different from animals is that animals can be themselves with ease.
39. Self-examination is the only path out of misery.
40. Whoever you are, you will die. To know and understand that means you are alive.
41. Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible.
42. Getting truly organized can vastly improve anyone’s life.
43. Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes. But the wisdom is still in there.
44. People cause suffering when they are suffering themselves. Alleviating their suffering will help them not hurt others.

45. High quality is worth any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.
46. The world would be a better place if everyone read National Geographic.
47. If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.
48. Even if it costs no money, nothing is free if it takes time.
49. Emotions exist to make us strongly biased towards or against something. This hinders as often as it helps.
50. Addiction is a much greater problem in society than it’s made out to be. It’s present in every person in various forms, but usually we call it something else.
51. “Gut feeling” is not just a euphemism. Tension in the abdomen speaks volumes about how you truly feel about something, beyond all arguments and rationales.
52. Posture and dress change profoundly how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you, like it or not.
53. Everyone thinks they’re an above average driver.
54. The urge to punish others has much more to do with venting frustration than correcting behavior.
55. By default, people think far too much.
56. If anything is worth splurging on, it’s a high-quality mattress. You’ll spend a third of your life using it.
57. There is nothing worse than having no friends.
58. To write a person off as worthless is an act of great violence.
59. Try as we might to be otherwise, we are all hypocrites.
60. Justice is a human invention which is in reality rarely achievable, but many will not hesitate to destroy lives demanding it.
61. Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences.
62. Stuff that’s on sale usually has an annoying downside.
63. Casual swearing makes people sound dumb.
64. Words are immensely powerful. One cruel remark can wound someone for life.
65. It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.
66. Most of what children learn from their parents isn’t taught on purpose.
67. The secret ingredient is usually butter, in obscene amounts.
68. It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first.
69. Problems, when they arise, are rarely as painful as the experience of fearing them.
70. Nothing — ever — happens exactly like you pictured it.
71. North Americans are generally terrible at accepting compliments and offers of help.
72. There are not enough women in positions of power. The world has suffered from this deficit for a long time.
73. When you break promises to yourself, you feel terrible. When you make a habit of it, you begin to hate yourself.
74. A good nine out of ten bad things I’ve worried about never happened. A good nine out of ten bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry about.
75. You can’t hide a bad mood from people who know you well, but you can always be polite.
76. Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.
77. Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.
78. There is no point finishing a book you aren’t enjoying. Life is too short for that. Swallow your pride and put it down for good, unfinished.
79. There is no correlation between the price of a brand of batteries and how long they last.
80. Breaking new ground only takes a small amount more effort than you’re used to giving.
81. Life is a solo trip, but you’ll have lots of visitors. Some of them are long-term, most aren’t.
82. One of the best things you can do for your kids is take them on road trips. I’m not a parent, but I was a kid once.
83. The fewer possessions you have, the more they do for you.
84. Einstein was wiser than he was intelligent, and he was a genius.
85. When you’re sick of your own life, that’s a good time to pick up a book.
86. Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself.
87. The ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with how things change

88. Killing time is an atrocity. It’s priceless, and it never grows back.

Self confidence is a virtue everyone should possess

2011-03-17T06:50:00.000-07:00

Self confidence is a virtue everyone should possess.it has to do with your character & personality.Self confidence is based on ur belief in urself and how easily you can pull things off in any situation you find urself in,even if things are not looking too good at that particular time.The fact that you eventually scaled through a particularly difficult situation means you have some level of confidence in urself.

To possess self-confidence u have to believe in urself,believe that u can actually achieve anything u set ur mind on.Even if there are elements or indications of discouragement arnund you, your confidence means u have to be comfortable, you find your self confidence declining and you find out that you are becoming nervous,and the urge to do something u really want to do is no longer there due to your lack of comfort.

To boost your self-confidence,it is advisable to always dress in comfortable clothes,not neccesarily trendy,but comfortable clothes, you find out that you can carry anything off. Also make friends with people you dont either feel inferior or superior to when you are around them. Then you also have to leave urself and make urself ur own best friend,treat urself right. When you believe you are ''born to do it''you'll eventually find out that life becomes easier. At all times, ''KEEP YOUR HEAD UP''

Stop that Comparison, Keep Focused

2011-02-24T04:45:00.000-08:00

A few months ago, I was out running (jogging)through my neighborhood.

I had about a kilometer to go on my path before I needed to turn off
when I noticed a man about a half of a kilo in front of me. I could
tell he was running a little bit slower than me and I thought to
myself, "Good, I'll try to catch him." So I started running faster and
faster.

With every block, I could tell I was gaining on him just a little bit.
A few minutes later, I was only about quarter kilo away, so I really
picked up the pace and started pushing it. I was so determined to
catch up with him that you would have thought I was in the last leg of
the Olympic Games! Finally, I caught up to him and passed him. On the
inside, I felt so good that I had beaten him. (Of course, he didn't
even know 'we' were racing.) But when I got my mind back on what I was
doing, I realized I had missed my turn. I was so caught up in trying
to beat this man I didn't even know that I went nearly six streets
further than I was supposed to. I had to turn around and go all the
way back.

Isn't that what happens in life sometimes? Maybe we're trying to catch
up with someone else - a neighbor, friend or coworker. We get so
wrapped up in the competition trying to outdo them, out dress them, or
trying to prove that we're more important. We spend all this time and
energy going down that path when we should be using it to move toward
our own God-given destiny!
If that's you today, realize that your life would go to a whole new
level if you would just quit competing with everyone around you. It
takes a lot of physical and emotional energy to try to impress people
all day long. But it's very freeing to say, "I don't have to impress
anybody today. I have nothing to prove. I'm secure in who I am. And I
am not going to feel bad if you look better, make more money, or get
more recognition. I don't have to keep up with you; I'm going to run
my own race."

Get free from comparison today so that you can move forward into the
destiny God has in store for you!

If you want more love, Go get it by giving one.

2011-02-02T04:59:00.000-08:00

Love is an interesting thing... no matter how much we give or receive it, most of us want MORE of it than we have in our lives, myself included. See, most people describe me as very loving, kind, generous, and grateful. Many people experience me as an expression of love in physical form.

Yet I still want to experience more love. Chances are you do also, but the signs aren't always obvious...

For example, I recently shared with you my new commitment to working out. The reasons I shared with you for that were all legitimate and real, yet still somewhat on the surface. At the root of that commitment is a desire to express my love for myself and others more completely and more vibrantly! Self-care is just one of many forms of love.

In fact, when you look at the majority of our thoughts, beliefs, and actions in the world you will notice that underneath all of them is, somewhere, somehow, a well-intentioned desire to experience more love in your life.

(regardless of whether that's to love yourself or others more)

All of the greatest spiritual masters have talked about the importance of love, and some go as far as to say love is the ONLY thing that truly matters in this world. And with all of that in mind, the quote above from John Mayer asks an important question:

If you really want more love in your life... what's stopping you?

Most of us don't love ourselves enough to feel worthy of actually ASKING for more love (regardless of whether we're asking ourselves for self-care or asking others to express love more authentically, frequently, or differently).

It doesn't have to be that way though... :)

When you love yourself unconditionally, from the inside-out, and for no reason at all... that's when your life TRULY shifts. I've already been making this shift progressively, and it seems that with each little positive shift I make in that direction my experience of love multiplies.

In fact, there is current scientific research, ancient wisdom, proven techniques, and real-world experience that supports what I've already been experiencing... and Marci Shimoff has brought it all together in her brand new book called "Love For No Reason: 7 Steps to Creating a Life of Unconditional Love."

"Have you ever had a grand fantasy about ultimate love that you’ve given up on?
Do you long to feel less burdened by worry, stress, or struggle and to experience the ecstasy of an open heart?
Have there been times you’ve buried your pain in workaholism, over-eating, or over-spending?
Do you feel disappointed that something is missing in your experience of love?
What if the deeper love you are aching for really IS possible?
How amazing would it be if you could do something RIGHT NOW to invite that into your life...?""

If any of those questions touch a place inside you, then now is the time to check out Marci's newest book and discover new ways you can integrate love into your life... to be able to give, receive, and ultimately experience more love and an abundance of blessings in your life.

Here's a personal secret I don't think I've ever actually told ANYBODY...

As you may know from some of my previous emails or videos, when I was a youth the one thing I wanted more desperately than anything else was to be LOVED. I just wanted a woman to love me.

And in my teens and 20's, every single night when I saw the stars I would pray to God:

"Star Light, Star Bright... First Star I See Tonight. Wish I May, Wish I Might, Have This Wish I Wish Tonight.

I wish to experience TRUE LOVE forever and ever."

Sure, at the time I thought I was talking about romantic love... that's where my mind wanted to fill a deficiency so that I could feel "complete."

Yet in hindsight, I see now that my HEART and the UNIVERSE were collaborating on my behalf. They heard my wish, they worked together, and now I do experience true love more in my life than ever before... because it comes from inside me and is not conditional ~ the world doesn't determine my happiness, I DO.

(and it only keeps getting better)

If this kind of experience and expression of love resonates with you, if it's something you'd also like to experience more of in your life, then definitely join me http://www.facebook.com/enyichukwu.

Why do I need God to be happy?

2010-12-10T02:42:00.001-08:00

"I have found happiness in my life. Why do I need to derive a sense of purpose and happiness from the concept of a 'divine being'?"
our A: You're right, you can find happiness in life without having need of God in your life. Many people enjoy financial wealth, a loving family, and few problems in life. However, no matter how much happiness you have right now, your life would be more fulfilling with God in it. Knowing God makes a HUGE difference. Think of it like this. Riding a tricycle seems fun to a child, but later if that child grows up and drives a Porsche, the tricycle seems pretty boring. You might think you've got all you'd ever want in life, but know that you might be saying that from the perspective of someone riding a tricycle.
Jesus said that He could fulfill desires in us that nothing else can fulfill (John 4:13-14; 6:35). That's because we're not just physical beings, we're spiritual beings also. Only God can fulfill our spiritual hunger and thirst completely. And while we may be happy without God, it is only by knowing God that we can have true joy, fulfillment and peace.
And there is also the question of eternity. What if your limited time on earth is a time of testing from God? A test to whether or not you will come to know Him? If so, how are you doing on that exam? Are you (as it says in Romans 1) "suppressing" the knowledge of God? Do you see the evidence for His existence all around you, yet are not wanting to acknowledge Him?
What if you never receive God into your life? Well, as you've mentioned, you can still enjoy the benefits of this life. But know that for you it will end here, because you've chosen to reject God. You've accepted the gift (your existence), but rejected the Giver.
What if God hasn't even shown off yet, but has a lot more creative things planned for the next life? For those who haven't rejected Him? What if that life surpasses this life even more than driving a Porsche surpasses riding a tricycle? If you have rejected God, then you won't be there to see it.

Is love an emotion or a decision?

2010-11-25T01:41:00.000-08:00

I think both. Loving feelings and loving actions often go hand in hand but not always. For instance, I may do something loving when I don't feel like it. I think love often takes effort, whereas loving feelings take no effort at all. While I'm washing my husbands underwear I'm not thinking Oh I love you so much but I'm doing it because I do love him.

I wrote a hub which covers some of this that you might like to read: Save my marriage - why falling out of love should not be the end of your relationship. The deepest type of love is based on a decision and a commitment you make to love a person. In a relationship, I believe we are drawn to another (at first) based upon attraction and yes, feelings. But feelings cannot be trusted for the long haul. Emotions come and go like a roller coaster and if we depend on our emotions we will be falling in and out of love all of the time. I also wrote a hub on love called "true love" and it explains the three levels of love.
Love starts off with emotions and then when we feel that the person is not good or is good...then it is decision time IF we want this relationship to last but, alas there are some who let their emotions conquer their decisions and could suffer from a bad relationship if it turns out to be such.Despite the mystery of love and all of its trappings, love is still just a decision. You decide to love when you meet a person who you interact with like you have known them all of your life. You can..
Mary Ann said "Love isn't a degree on a scale that when reached you can say, "Oh, I'm in love now." It comes in varying forms, amounts, and types.
If it were so simple that you could boil it down to one thing or the other, bookstores wouldn't have a "self-help" section.
Love is an emotion, but the decision to act upon it, to work with it, to strengthen it, or to end it lies with you.

You can love a friend, even love someone long enough that you might see yourself happy with them. That's where love becomes a decision. Or you can meet someone, and suddenly, at the most obscure moment, you realize without them you feel empty and alone.
You can also have "puppy-love", where you seem to fall in love at first sight, but really it's just a strong attraction that will most likely crash and burn at the end of two weeks. Sometimes you might at first despise each other, and then after a civil conversation, realize you like them- maybe even love them. (Hand to God I've seen it happen...)
Unfortunately, there's no accurate description of love. I generally expirience a sensation in my chest similar to if someone were blowing up a balloon inside me, I lose all ability to focus, and suddenly what I say to this person becomes the most important thing in my life, because if I say something stupid it's the end of the world..." while Emy added "I think it begins as a feeling but that feeling won't last forever without the decision to make it do so. In a marriage for instance, you know you won't stay in the type of love you may have felt when you first met or even when you first got married. When people say they no longer are in love with each other this I think is what they mean. When that stage is over you have to make a decision to love if you want to stay together. I know you can't force love. But you can build up a relationship and turn it into, if not that googly eyed you're perfect and I'll make out with you anywhere without thinking love into something more friendship based, something perphaps deeper and longer lasting. That leads to attraction and better intimacy in and of it's self."

So which ever way you think it is. Let me receive your comments

We Struggle With Good and Bad, Love and Hate, Why?

2010-11-09T04:02:00.000-08:00

It was a lot of deep digging on difficult topics. In many ways, it was like slogging through the mud. And I'm truly grateful for this spiritual work, because it's weekends like these that help me live with more peace, joy, freedom, and abundance in my life.

I'm exhausted right now... it's 1:11am as I write this and while I could wait until morning to write you, I want to share what's on my mind while it's still fresh.
Some might say it's the side we show and the side we don't, but this goes deeper than that... much deeper.

We all have a side to us which is loving, kind, compassionate, generous, and wishes the absolute best for others.

And we also all have a side to us which is destructive, hateful, and wishes ill-will upon others. I'm not talking about anger, frustration, or even rage... I'm talking about that cold, cutting feeling where we wish something just didn't exist... we just wish it were GONE.

Quite frankly, I didn't want to admit that I had this within myself.

After all, if I admit that I have a "bad" or "mean" streak in me, then couldn't I act that out and hurt others? Wouldn't that make me a bad person? Wouldn't that mean I'm a hateful and unloving person? Especially if I felt that way towards somebody I loved?

Not exactly.

See, it's the repression or suppression of those "bad" thoughts which cause us to act them out in subtle and often unconscious ways. When we hate somebody, we might not even be aware that we want to hurt them because we've pushed it down so far to protect our "identity" of being a "good" person.

"By choosing not to allow parts of ourselves to exist, we are forced to expend huge amounts of psychic energy to keep them beneath the surface." – Debbie Ford

But here's the deal:

Every time we harshly criticize another...

Every time we talk bad about a person behind his or her back...

Every time we swat at or kill that damn fly which won't leave our food alone...

And every time we glare at somebody else with a cold, cutting stare...

That's our hateful, vengeful, annihilating side expressing itself in the world.

Every time we wish another person just didn't exist... that's our hateful side that we often aren't even aware of as hate because it feels just so cold, dense, and perhaps even non-existent.

If you doubt you have a hateful side (I sure doubted I had one before this weekend!), then perhaps try thinking about the times somebody close to you -especially loved ones- hurt you, or think about atrocities like war, rape, politics, and other immoral unethical and downright inconceivable human acts. Or maybe you've had somebody close to you die, and you say you'll never forgive God... that perhaps you even hate God.

(those are just a few examples)

HERE'S THE THING...

In order to have a truly "open heart," we must be willing to -ACCEPT- into our heart, not only the things we love and cherish, but also the things that we hate. An "open heart" means we open to everything INCLUDING the things we don't like and don't want.

After all, how can we call it an "open heart" if we turn it away from anything... anything at all?

Open is a state of inclusion.

When we are not "open," then these negative, hateful feelings get stuck and stagnant like a cesspool in our souls. That's why we act out in those ways I described. And when we do that, we're not living consciously, aware, joyously, compassionately, or even in the present moment.

The thing is...

When we learn how to include and accept both our hateful, angry, vengeful side ~ along with our loving side ~ what we do is give ourselves the freedom to love and accept ourselves exactly as we are, warts and all... without the expectation of how we "should" be. We allow our true inherent good to stop the self-judgment and self-criticism... and transform that darkness into our greatest strength and ally in this world.

Here's why...

When we enter this state of inclusion and acceptance, the result is that we INTEGRATE the two sides of us. Rather than having our anger, frustration, or hatred contaminate our love and compassion in the world, we actually go deeper into the aspects of ourselves we love the most. We become MORE of who we truly are simply by accepting ALL of who we are.

This is because the energy doesn't get "stuck," and instead gets naturally released through our inherent abilities that we're all born with.

So next time you feel like cutting somebody down, giving them a "death stare," talking behind their back, or wishing a certain politician or company just didn't exist... instead of acting or speaking, take a few minutes to RECOGNIZE what you're feeling, then ACCEPT what you're feeling, and finally make a conscious choice not to act that into the world.

Instead, visualize that hateful energy dissolving through your feet and into the Earth where it can be grounded and released in a natural, safe, supportive, and authentic way.

Just because you have a dark side doesn't mean you have to act it out (not even in little ways). Just because you have dark thoughts doesn't make you a bad person. It's your CHOICE what you do with these two sides of yourself.

My hope is that you will choose to accept and love ALL of who you are.

My wish is that you will embrace ALL of your emotions... happy and sad, good and bad... loving and unloving.

And my wish is that you will choose to bring presence and awareness to the darkest parts of your soul so that you can release them into the light.

These are also my wishes for myself.

"We have buried as much of our light as we have of our darkness." – Debbie Ford

Once we all pull out our darkness and learn to love it, then we will also truly understand the phenomenal nature of our inherent greatness.

Life is all about Constant Changes

2010-10-08T05:46:00.000-07:00

Life is a funny old thing.
All around us, every single day, things change.
It's the one thing that moves the whole world forward, and yet as individuals, we consistently resist it. Change is bad. Change frightens us. We do not want change!
But here's a magical little teaching: Everything changes.
It's annoying - but it does.
People die. Kids grow up. Stocks fail. Friends get married. Companies shut down. The things that bring us safety and security alter - and rock our worlds.
This cycle of life, this process of continual change is actually a basic premise in the Buddhist religion. Buddhists appreciate that everything has a beginning, and everything has an end.
It's not just limited to human change, either. Trees, mountains, airplanes, t-shirts, skyscrapers, champagne bottles, televisions. Everything has a start point, and everything has an end point.
So when you witness change in progress, you are merely witnessing things passing from one state to another in that journey from beginning to end.
Look around you right now.
Everything around you was created, and everything around you will ultimately be reduced to dust. That includes your body, too. Such is the transience of life. Nothing is forever.
The world is in a constant state of change.
Indeed, the only constant is change itself.
At first, this may seem disconcerting. But there's a certain peace in this teaching. Because by understanding what is actually happening, and knowing that this cycle is in written in stone, we're no longer "shocked" when these things occur.
Instead, we're able to appreciate the time we had.
Do you fully embrace change in the world right now?
Go and get your favourite household ornament right now. Mine is probably a beautiful grey marble bull that I bought in Mexico. Observe its colour, its artistic design, the workmanship that went into making this wonderful piece of work.
Then imagine it broken, smashed on the floor.
While doing that, try to keep in mind the thought that everything changes. Everything has a beginning and everything has an end.
So, rather than fighting against that transition - with screams, and anger, and weeping - we can instead simply shrug, and understand that's the cycle of life.
Quite simply, everything changes.
So, ask yourself - do YOU resist change in your life?
Are you fighting against the natural cycle from beginning to end?
Think about the last time you really got annoyed at how something changed. Perhaps you lost money in an investment. Or a relationship went sour. Or maybe you crashed your car.
How did you respond?
And can you take a moment out to appreciate how this is all just part of life's constant process of change? How life is churning around everything, constantly?
Just remember that everything is change.
You never step in the same river twice.
Can you even try and appreciate more of what you actually have right now - rather than waiting to miss it, once it has left your life?
This process of constant change can also be reassuring in times of need and grief. Because when you find yourself in bad situations, you can always be reminded that the next step in that constant cycle of change is not far away.
Yes, "even this shall pass."
So, don't fight against the constant cycle of change. It happens.
Appreciate the time you have with the things that are important to you - and know that ultimately, everything is reduced to dust.
This is not a cue to be passive toward life, and cease to pursue the positive. But rather, it's a technique for making peace with the world and its many, many inevitable transformations.
Being aware that everything is change gives you an understanding, an awareness... It gives you perspective when facing situations we find hard to get our heads around.
Yes, everything changes.
But learning to accept that natural cycle will bring you much greater peace and acceptance - and is worth a million self-development boot camps in your personal journey toward freedom.

Always know that there is an inner freedom in every man.

2010-10-06T05:11:00.000-07:00

Always know that there is an inner freedom in every man...... and this is the part that makes everything else that much sweeter..

At the core of our desire for freedom is actually a sense of LACK. Yes, it is ironic that our fuel for freedom comes from the very thing that makes us literally un-free. We become aware of this aspect of ourselves that feels constricted and restrained... that feels un-free, and so we seek freedom.

The challenge is that we want freedom from something. Usually we want freedom from ever working again, or perhaps freedom from having people abuse us physically or emotionally, or freedom from an oppressive culture, family, or government.

However, as long as we are fleeing from something, we are literally un-free. We lose our freedom simply by the fact that we must run from it... we are not free to choose to be with it.

Of course the alternative isn't very appealing either! After all, who really would say they want to go deeper -into- the very thing that they dislike? The very thing that takes away their freedom?

And yet, therein lies the real freedom... not to be free FROM anything in particular, but rather, to be FREE independent of the need to flee from or go towards anything in particular. True freedom is the ability to choose our inner experience... which may mean -choosing- to continue in a job you hate, it may mean -choosing- to spend holidays even with family members you dislike, or it may mean -choosing- the opposites... to leave your country, leave your job, or actively not engage with family members who are not respectful of you and your loved ones.

And freedom ALWAYS means choosing your inner experience.

Some of the most free people in the world found their freedom in jails, during wars, within concentration camps or internment camps...

"And finally I twist my heart round again, so that the bad is on the outside and the good is on the inside, and keep on trying to find a way of becoming what I would so like to be, and could be, if there weren't any other people living in the world."

"I don't think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains."

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."

"No one has ever become poor by giving."

"I have often been downcast, but never in despair; I regard our hiding as a dangerous adventure, romantic and interesting at the same time. In my diary I treat all the privations as amusing. I have made up my mind now to lead a different life from other girls and, later on, different from ordinary housewives. My start has been so very full of interest, and that is the sole reason why I have to laugh at the humorous side of the most dangerous moments."

"People can tell you to keep your mouth shut, but that doesn't stop you from having your own opinion."

"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same."

– Quotes by Anne

I love you

Enyichukwu

We cannot give What we do not have.

2010-09-15T00:05:00.000-07:00

After hearing that, I paused for a moment and really tried to take in what means. Is it true? Can I give somebody a dollar bill if I do not have one to give? Am I incapable of giving somebody love if I do not already have love to give? Can I teach somebody to listen if I am not able to hear what others have to say?

I thought about that, and I realized that what it means was quite true for me. I didn't want to admit it, and I'm not sure anybody does. After all, why would any of us want to admit that we have "deficiencies?" Why admit we have faults, or that we may be incapable of some things? This is especially demoralizing for those of us who desperately want to love, or really deeply want to feel joy and happiness... but we just don't.

What is that quality you wish you had, but you don't?

Is it happiness? Love? Just being able to smile? Whatever it is, write it down. After you've written it down and are clear what it is, then go try to give that to somebody else.

For example, if you can't smile, make a genuine effort to help somebody else smile. A true, concerted, genuine effort. Continue making the effort to give this quality to somebody else, and keep trying until you find somebody who is able to receive your gift.

After you've done that exercise (and not until you've done it!), reply to this email and let me know what your experience was... how it affected you, as well as the other person.

The lord will be with you.

You can stop Pornogrphic Addiction

2010-09-01T05:17:00.001-07:00

She is 18 years old, with an independent nature and sometimes shy persona. She grew up all her life in the church. When the newly formed contemporary worship team invited her to play the drums, she finally found her place in the church. Life was pretty good, but she felt empty.

Later in high school the emptiness grew and my curiosity grew to find something, anything to satisfy me. First Nneoma turned to petty things, like stealing cigarettes from her abusive uncle. But that wasn't strong enough to distract her from life and fill that emptiness.

She wouldn't give up that easily. As strong as steel and she will get what she want. As a computer geek, She could access a lot of things that the average person would have no clue about how to do. She found what she wanted, and she got what she wanted. Pornography.

Before you knew it, she was addicted. This disease was not a replacement for sex in my life... in fact, she was a virgin and still am. It was simply something to fill up the emptiness she felt in my life. When she was sad, when she had a bad day, she could simply go into my room, shut the doors, and feel better again. And it was free. It was harmless. No one would know. Every time she turned to the internet, what she lusted after would eventually not be enough. Like drug addicts going after harder and harder drugs, she had to go after harder sources of fulfillment. It never ended until God stepped in.

Nneoma don't really know when, or why, or how (besides the much-needed intervention of God), but one day she came to the sudden realization about how screwed up her life was. Her father used to smoke, and he quit smoking COLD. No patches, no gradual cut down. That's what she knew she had to do. She discovered that God was the only thing that could heal my emptiness. She deleted EVERYTHING off my computer. All the web pages, all the videos, all the passwords, everything that would lead her back down the path that had labeled her a disgusting person. Harmless curiosity so easily turned to addiction.

If you were Nneoma what will you do? Change or?

Is SEX a test of TRUE LOVE?

2010-09-01T03:48:00.000-07:00

Each of us has five significant parts in our lives. We have the physical, the emotional, the mental, the social, and the spiritual. All five of these parts are designed to work together in harmony. In our search for intimacy we want the solution today, or yesterday. One of our problems is that we want "instant" gratification. When the need for intimacy in a relationship is not met, we look for an "instant" solution. Where do we look? Physical, mental, social, emotional or spiritual? It's the physical. It is easier to be physically intimate with someone than to be intimate in any of the other four areas. You can become physically intimate with a person of the opposite sex in an hour, or half-hour -- it just depends upon the urge! But you soon discover that sex may only be a temporary relief for a superficial desire. There is a much deeper need that is still unmet.
What do you do when the thrill wears off and the more you have sex, the less you like it? We rationalize it by saying, "We are in love. No, I mean really in love." But we still find ourselves feeling guilty and unsatisfied. On campuses all across America I see men and women searching for intimacy, going from one relationship to another hoping, "This time will be it. This time I am going to find a relationship that will last."
I believe that what we really want is not sex. What we really want is intimacy.
Today, the word intimacy has taken on sexual connotations. But it is much more than that. It includes all the different dimensions of our lives -- yes, the physical, but also the social, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects as well. Intimacy really means total life sharing. And haven't we all had the desire at one time or another for closeness, for oneness, for sharing our life with someone totally?

Fighting does not bring us closer to our goals

2010-08-11T05:37:00.000-07:00

We've all heard of stories of Jesus Christ and non-violence, and Jesus advising us to turn the other cheek when struck, but how does that relate to us every day?

I've struggled with that very question, especially having been an advocate for " Any eye for an Eye" for many years. It made sense to me that if somebody set a home ablaze, that their home would in turn be torched, and I didn't understand what was meant by "an eye for an eye makes the world blind."

That just seemed like "spiritual nonsense" to me.

So often in my life I've thought about the "fight." Not so much in a literal sense with my fists, but rather, on a mental level. The experiences of my youth led me to want to right the wrongs, particularly those wrongs against me, and as mentioned before I saw "eye for an eye" as a means for equal and fair justice.

I would "fight" when I'd flip off, stare angrily at, or honk at another driver who cut me off...

I would "fight" when a friend or family member "wronged" me and I felt the need to set them straight or just to be "right" about something...

And I definitely "fought" (politely, mind you) when somebody cut in front of me in line...

And while an eye for an eye may deter in some cases, it's the stark opposite of what historically non-violent leaders like Jesus had in mind; this challenged me even more.

As time has passed, I've felt less resonance with "eye for an eye" but for a while still didn't understand how to experientially learn a differing perspective. When i read this quotes

"Have no fear in not knowing what to do about a problem. Fear activates its negative relatives of impulsiveness, ego-protection, and an anxious craving for security.

Instead, let the mind be still. Never think of fighting, for an answer won by fighting will soon require another answer and another fight.

The problem exists because of an agitated mind, so when the mind rests from its own agitation, there is no problem at all."

After reading the above passage, it finally clicked for me!

I particularly resonated with the phrase that I bolded, yet I never thought of it that way. Another way to look at this is how some people say "the best defense is a good offense." However, as I became more in tune with feeling my presence, I began to see that if I feel the need to defend then I will attract into my life people who want to offend me and others. Therefore, if I become "defenseless," then the reverse is true... over time I will continue to attract people, like me, who do not feel the need to "defend" themselves.

Now, I feel more and more compassion than ever before, and I have noticed that there are less situations in my life that I have felt inclined to "defend" or "fight" against. Before I had began my journey of spiritual development, I used to smash spiders when I found them in my home. Now I get a piece of paper and a cup to trap them, then release them outside. (and it is ADORABLE when my 3 1/2 year old son does the same thing). Now I eat a strictly vegetarian diet... only because I know I wouldn't kill an animal to eat it, and I don't feel comfortable having other people kill the animals on my behalf. It's not a moral thing, I just don't feel right inside when I kill anything.

Now if you had asked me a few years ago if I ever thought I might feel this depth of compassion for other beings, I'd have thought your wheels were spinning but the hamster was dead. :)

I now understand what it mean to turn the other cheek when struck, and why an act of compassion has the potential to be much more influential and transforming than an act of violence in like kind. Even then, I cannot say I am certain that I am yet at that place of presence where I would simply turn another cheek and take a beating like Ghandi and his followers. What I do now understand is how to have compassion for all people, including those who have hurt me and those who will hurt myself and others. To put it as concisely as possible, I've learned this:

Fighting does not bring us closer to our goals, but rather separates us from them.

This awareness has brought a greater amount of joy to my life than I could have ever imagined. Progressively I'm realizing, and truly and deeply understanding, that it really is my choice how I respond to situations, and that no amount of "fighting" or negative response will change the truth of the situation… the truth that there is only one common element in all experiences in my life - me.

I am the only person I can change, so when I fight against others, whether I realize and feel it or not, I'm actually fighting against myself.

Your Brother
Ede Eugene Enyichukwu

THE PRACTICE OF BEING IN GOD’S PRESENCE, SOAKING IN HIS PRESENCE

2010-08-02T07:34:00.001-07:00

Being in the presence of the Lord could arguably be considered the single most important part of our lives. While in a sense, it is always with us and we cannot live without it, we find ourselves hungering for it more and more.

While God is omnipresent, and His presence is always with us, we continue to long for an encounter with the Presence of God. When we talk about experiencing the presence of the Lord, we are talking about the realization of God’s presence – of perceiving His presence and being conscious of Him. Practising His presence through worship is one of the most valuable things we can do. God has promised that as we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us and we will experience His presence in ever increasing measures.

WORSHIP THAT BRINGS THE PRESENE OF GOD

The Presence of the Lord could arguably be considered the single most important part of our lives. While in a sense, it is always with us and we cannot live without it, we find ourselves hungering for God's presence more and more.

God is omnipresent, meaning that He is everywhere at all times. David said in Psalm 139:7, “Where could I go from Your Spirit? Or where could I flee from Your presence?” He concludes that there is no place that we can hide from God’s presence – He is everywhere and sees everything. Because of this we can know that we are never alone and that He shall never leave us nor forsake us.
Abiding in the Presence of God - How to Live in the Presence of God

As well as being omnipresent, God also dwells in the believer. The indwelling presence of God is given to all who believe. “Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit has His permanent dwelling in you?” – 1 Corinthians 3:16.

Why People Upsets You

2010-07-23T05:58:00.000-07:00

Dear,

The simple version is: As long as somebody else's words or actions can upset us, then that means our own

enjoyment of life is dependent upon other people. Our happiness is never our own, but rather, 'belongs' to the people who upset us.

In order to move past this difficulty, we must choose to become self-aware... even at the most difficult time.
therefore, every time we are upset by somebody else, it would help us to ask ourselves, "Why does this upset me?" And then when we have an answer, again ask "Why does that upset

me?"

The intention is to discover the root cause of why that person's behavior upsets us.

For example, if a partner leaves their cups around all the time, we might be upset. But why? Well we say "It's disrespectful." Is it really? Why do we believe it's disrespectful? We might discover that it is what one of our parents did as a child. And then we may remember all the fights our parents had over the exact same issue.

By understanding that, we then see that the real reason we are upset by our current partner leaving the cups out has nothing to do with disrespect, but instead, it is a reminder of all the past arguments from our parents.

That's a *very* brief and limited example... and I hope that you will discover your own answers through this exploration.

Just remember from now on – every time something upsets you – just pause and ask yourself "Why?" ...because you're usually not upset because of what's happening in the present, but most likely because of

something that happened in the past.

Another example: Your partner comes home late.

You're upset and say they're disrespectful. But when you feel your body, you notice you feel -scared- so you ask yourself why. What you discover is that somewhere inside you, there is a fear of being abandoned... and when they come home late, it makes you worry they might be leaving you.

Maybe you discover that's because as a child you never knew when one of your parents would come home, or perhaps your parents divorced, or perhaps one parent left for a regular routine trip and never came home (died, ran away, etc).

And so you discover that your partner coming home late upsets you not because it's disrespectful, but because you have a fear of being abandoned.

This basic logic is true of ALL things which upset us.

It happens to varying degrees... some smaller than others. Sometimes it's so minor we won't even notice it, such as us being frustrated that a little child has stepped on our toes again. Or maybe it is a huge issue, one which has come up in a relationship (personal, or professional) many many times and is never resolved.

Whatever it is, if you want to experience more PEACE in your life, just be like a child again... remember to ask "Why?"

Your Beloved
Enyichukwu

YOUR PRAYER NEEDS YOUR HEART

2010-07-13T06:58:00.000-07:00

It's been said that "prayer is asking God questions and that meditation is listening for an answer." Whether you use the label 'God' 'Universe' 'Source' 'Creation' 'True Nature' 'Essence' 'The Now' or whatever else isn't really all that important (at least for this discussion).

What's at the core of the above quote is simply two things:

(1) Being present with your heart's desires

(2) Quieting your experience to allow the Truth to unfold

Your Heart Center generates and broadcasts feelings through your body. In fact, your heart is by far your strongest electro-magnetic generator and creates a magnetic field that is up to 5000 times stronger than the

field generated by your brain.

So it should be no mystery that when the power of heart and mind are combined in meditation, they create a powerful ally in our journey of personal transformation.

So i urge you to understand the power of Prayers.

WHY DO WE HURT OURSELVES?: Can we still Forgive?

2010-07-12T05:10:00.000-07:00

We all have traumas from our past, anger or guilt about what others did to us, about what we did to others, and about what we did to ourselves. These experiences come from those we love, as well as acquaintances and total strangers.

Like what my old friend told me of his experience. He said

"I loved her so much to the point that I had to Quarrel with my parents. With all I lost because of her it turned to be a total disappointment. She left me without a care of all i Did and lost for her. I was very bitter and decided not to love again."

And more often than not, we hold onto the pain and are unable to forgive, and that is one of the biggest

reasons why we are unable to experience the kinds of purposeful and conscious relationships our hearts yearn for with friends, family, and romantic partners.
Being unable to forgive doesn't feel very empowering, and it causes us to make excuses why we shouldn't try again. We sometimes let go of our dreams and hopes. The thing is, when you understand the story behind all of these feelings and experiences, you learn an invaluable secret... it's something I've said before, and I'm going to say again:

The Truth is that It's not your fault.

In fact, it's not anybody's fault. It's just one more story, and it's the hardest thing for most people to change. When we truly UNDERSTAND this, we're able to transform these old stories of pain and frustration into empowerment. The first thing to understand is why people hurt us.

Suggestions that can build up your confidence

2010-07-09T03:50:00.000-07:00

"Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy," Dr. Peale wisely observed.

Here is suggestions that can build up your confidence.

1. Formulate and stamp indelibly on you mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. And hold this picture tenaciously. You can't ever permit it to fade. Over time your mind will develop this picture, brighten the detail. Never doubt the reality of the mental image, because doing so is dangerous. The mind also tries to complete what it pictures. So always picture "success" no matter how badly things seem to be going at the moment.

2. Whenever a negative thought concerning your personal powers come into mind, deliberately voice a

positive thought to cancel it out.
3. Do not build up obstacles in your imagination. Minimize every so-called obstacle. Difficulties must be studied and efficiently dealt with to be eliminated, but they must be seen only for what they are. They must not be inflated by fear thoughts.
4. This might be the most astute piece of advice. Do not be awestruck by other people and try to copy them. Nobody can be you as efficiently as YOU can. Remember also that most people, despite their confident appearance and demeanor, are often as scared as you are and as doubtful of themselves.

5. Dr. Peale advised readers to repeat ten times a day -- starting this minute -- the following word from the bible. And while they refer to god, you could substitute your own belief system: "if God be for us, who can be against us?"
6. Gain self-knowledge. Learn the origin of your inferiority and self-doubts, which often begin in Childhood. If necessary, get a competent counselor to help you understand why you do what you do.
7.Another affirmation, also from the bible, also to be repeated ten times daily, was advised as a powerful antidote to inferiority thoughts: "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Again, you can alter the wording to suit; it's the thought that counts.

8. Another gem of wisdom: Make a true estimate of your own ability -- then raise it 10 percent. Do not become egotistical, but develop a wholesome self-respect. Believe in your own powers.