My Refuge Online

On Letting Go

2010-03-19T20:42:00.005-04:00

Let's go! That is easy to do. You can do it on an impulse. You can do it in a heartbeat. And you can do it without batting an eyelash.

Let it go! That is a little bit harder. You can't just do it on impulse because you don't have the power to do it. You cannot do it in a heartbeat because you know that it will break your heart. And you cannot do it without thinking because in your mind you know it's impossible.

If only we know the art of letting go... then life will be easier. If only we are guaranteed that life will be easier when we let go... then moving on will be easier. If only we feel safe to move on without losing our grip of the reality... then we will able to lead life to the fullest.

But leading a life without that someone you "let go" will surely be a tough act to follow. And for that reason alone... "letting go" is a decision. It is a choice that one has to make. It is a sacrifice that one has to take. And it is process that one has go through.

"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars.

You have to let go at some point in order to move forward."

- Anonymous -

A Time for Spring

2010-03-17T11:24:00.008-04:00

Springtime is a time for birth and re-birth. This is the time for renewal and revival. And this is the time for a new perspective.

This is not my first spring here in Maine. So I don't have so much expectation except that by this time I have to re-do and update my resume so I can start looking for another prospective career to seek better future. I have been working for almost a year now and with the experience I gained from my very first job here in my new home, I guess the adjustment period is long over. It's about time to move on and move forward. I need to make myself useful, more productive (translation: work and earn more money to keep up with the bills) and updated.

Being out of work during my first year away from home makes me realized the real value of "work". I was able to appreciate work because doing nothing is harder. And I was able to appreciate money too because having none is worse.

But it's almost spring now. Now, it's about time to make plans for a better future. Optimism is like hope... it springs eternal.

The Oak Trees on Cape Road

2010-03-08T13:50:00.005-05:00

Proudly standing in front of our yard... watching me everyday as I struggle with my daily life... waving goodbye as I leave for work and patiently waiting as I come home from work.

[SPRING on Cape Road]

[SUMMER on Cape Road]

Silently standing in front of our house... watching me everyday as I learn a culture not my own… comforting me as I cried many times when I missed home or as I cracked in loud giggles when I was on the phone talking to a loved one from home.

[FALL on Cape Road]

[WINTER on Cape Road]

Magnificently standing by the road side… keeping me protected from my personal frustrations or daily confusions… giving assurance that life is temporary as the changing seasons and like the changing season life is a permanent cycle that will continuously evolve.

An excerpt from one of my posts at The Salitype Society.

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Life is a mystery as they say. We struggle. We fight. We survive. We fall. We stand up. We fall again. We give up. We fight back. We succeed. We fail. We surrender. We conquer. And life goes on.

And with all the business we do with our life... there are countless blessings that we see or we fail to see. But with every opportunity we take or fail to take. There are silent witnesses that we sometime recognize or simply ignore.

Reflect on your present blessings, of which every man has many;
not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.

Charles Dickens (1812 - 1870)

After the Storm

2010-03-04T18:18:00.004-05:00

"O give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his steadfast love endures for ever! The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation." (Psalms 118: 1, 14)

After the storm, the sky clears up and clouds disappear from the horizon.

After the storm, the leaves from the trees are washed clean and glistening.

After the storm, the ground is soaked in life giving water to aid the growth of new life.

After the storm, the deer came out from hiding and started looking for fallen fruits.

After the storm, the rainbow painted the sky with colors of hope.

I have survived many storms in my life. And after every storm, a new strenght is gained to sustain me to face another storm. My faith in God gives me the strength I need to be strong in every storm.

Emotions

2010-02-24T10:58:00.002-05:00

Sometimes it helps a lot if you can control your emotions. It helps a lot if you can delay outburst. And it helps a lot if you can for one second manage not to react immediately to your negative feelings. Emotion is not a bad thing. What makes it bad is the way we handle it.

As a person, we are capable of different emotions and sentiments. And different emotions are normally categorized as positive and negative. These emotions are powerful tools that a person can use to live life to the fullest. These emotions on the other hand are also powerful tools that will bring him down. And these emotions can sometimes break another person to pieces.

Emotions... either we handle it or it will take us over. It's our choice. Let us not give our emotions a chance to regret a thing.

Unorthodox Friendship

2010-02-20T22:39:00.004-05:00

When I migrated… I never thought that I would go through a lot of culture shock. Not that I didn’t know that nor had no idea about it. It’s just that it was different when it is already for real.

I thought I was prepared for the change. I thought I have the guts to take in the new life that I chose. And I thought I was strong enough to face the challenges awaiting me in my new home. I was all wrong. For the first few months I struggled hard to fight homesickness. I fought so hard to keep my sanity intact. And I tried hard enough to keep my feet on the ground without losing my balance. It was tough.

But one thing that really helped me a lot to keep me from snapping and losing “it”… are friends that I found from the most unlikely places. I found real friends who gave me moral support that I needed in my trying times. And when I say “real friends” I mean… virtual friends who are for real.

Yes, being out-of-work for the first time in my life since I graduated from college was a life-changing experience. Being a stay-at-home wife for the first time in my life was a humbling experience. And being a new-kid-in-town who has no friends [except Medy who lives 30 miles away] was a very lonely experience.

During those times… the internet was my only lifeline. The computer was my only un-reluctant friend. And blogging was my new lifestyle. Through blogging I found friends… virtual friends who are kind enough to teach me the complexity of Cyberlandia. And though the friendship was established in an unorthodox way… I still cherish it as any relationship that I had for real.

You Blog

2010-02-16T10:12:00.002-05:00

I love writing. I grew up doodling on walls and floors first before I was able to doodle on paper. My fond memories of doodling years are most treasured because it was the very foundation of my creative side. I dreamt to be a writer someday but I am not doing anything extra-ordinary to pursue that dream. My thoughts are just for me to cherish I guess.

Then I learned to write the modern way. The modern way… I mean - blogging. I learned some useful tools to get my ideas across oceans and mountains… races and cultures… sexes and sexual orientations. I learned tools like the internet, website and budget hosting and because of them my way of expressing my thoughts was never the same again.

I love writing. I guess I will write until my fingers are overtaken by arthrosclerosis. I will write unlit my brain is overcome with encephalitis. And I will write until my internet connection is cut.

But like a wise blogger, you don’t just blog about what you feel but you blog what you think is best for you and your audience. You blog not just to express your thoughts or emotions but you blog to be able to reach out to other bloggers. And at the end of the day… you blog because you are a blogger.

Bluer Weekends

2010-02-15T08:15:00.005-05:00

This weekend, I am planning to do my "to do list."

I need to come up with a plan.

Something that will work.
Something that will make me organized.
Something that will make a difference.

I need to take another option.

Something that is different.
Something that will give me pride.
Something that will promote good-will.

But the weekend is still a long way to go. It's days away and there are lots of things that might happen from today through the weekends. There are other immediate plans that I need to prioritize within the week. And there are more pressing issues that I need to address.

Weekends bring the best and the worse in every person. In my case... it's worse. Blame it on the holidays. [Always find something to blame but yourself] May you all have a wonderful week ahead.

This time of the Year

2010-02-12T22:33:00.002-05:00

Love is in the air!

I can feel it. I can smell it. I can breathe it. I can taste it.

And when it is that time of the year when people are getting either too romantic or melancholic... we all know that it is that "time of the year".

This time of the year is the time when flowers bloom even if it is not spring. And whose woman is not touched when she is given flowers to express one's emotion?

This is the time of the year when women's sugar level spikes up due to boxes upon boxes of chocolates that they indulge on without any guilt.

And this is the time of the year when some lucky women gain new BFFs and sparkle like diamonds.

Yes, this is the time of the year when love is all around us with all the signs and symptoms.

Busy and Nuts

2010-02-10T10:17:00.003-05:00

When I just got here and have all the time in the world to do just anything... these were my sentiments...

Busy. Busy. Busy. I hope I can say that. I miss work. I miss being busy. I miss having no time for other things. I miss having no time for myself. I miss having no time for my family.

Nuts. Nuts. Nuts. Am I nuts? Maybe. Because I don't do nothing. Because my mind is not working. Because my creative side is now obsolete.

I need inspiration. I need new perspective. I need new mind.

Now that I find work... this is now my sentiments.

Contentment! Where can I find it?

Time and Nuts

2010-02-08T10:09:00.002-05:00

Time... time... time... I hope I can say I have time.

I miss not getting up too early to go to work.

I miss "not" being busy.

I miss having all the time in the world to do just nothing.

I miss having all the time for myself.

I miss having all the time for my family.

Nuts... nuts... nuts... Am I nuts?

Maybe. Because I am so busy. Because my mind is always working. Because my creative side is sacrificed.

I need inspiration.

I need new perspective.

I need time.

Choices

2010-02-06T11:43:00.005-05:00

It's the weekends and today, I rather be in a frozen lake ice-fishing, clad in my warm snow-pants and LL Bean goose down jacket, listening to my iPod, and snacking on Ostrim while sitting on snowmobile and thinking when will the first fish bite so I can take a nap in my ice-shack or cruise the lake at 60 mph. But no, today I am stuck here at home thinking what to do first… the laundry or review my book on Medical Terminology for a quiz on Monday.

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Life is full of tough choices. Choices may be as simple as doing chores to as complicated as having an in vitro fertilization. Life is tough enough as it is and decision making process make it more complex if not overpowering.

Choices are made everyday of our lives. From the moment we open our eyes to the time we close them. And each time we need to make a decision we are confronted with options that undeniably hard to choose.

There are times that we are presented with two options and we wanted to grab them both. Other times we are blessed to have them both. But most of the time we can only take one or the other. And that is when we struggle with decision. When we are presented with choices and you want both.

Don’t you wish that we can just get what we want without the guilt of greed?

weekend blues

2010-02-05T10:05:00.006-05:00

Another week is over. Should I be glad or blue?

It is just any other weekend, but I need to have to put my creative side to work. What else have I not done yet? I was thinking... thinking... thinking!

The weekdays are too long and boring just like any other days of the weeks that passed. I am too weak to think now because I know the routine is too much. But I need to carry on.

I just wish I would have more time for myself to contemplate and come up with ideas that will really change the world. Or just be creative to fight my boredom.

Am I experiencing another drought? Or maybe I am [already] menopausal!

Love is...

2010-02-03T09:53:00.002-05:00

I guess love is the most misunderstood word in the vocabulary.

People define it in different ways. They define it in ways most acceptable to them. They define it in ways more convenient to them.

Despite hardships and frustrations... heartbreaks and betrayals... ups and downs... there will be people who still believe in love.

People hope for love to come and grow. They anticipate that love will give them life. They expect that love will win the battle for them.

I guess love, despite being the most misunderstood word in the vocabulary is still the most believable thing in this word.

So let the love evolve. Let's love endlessly... hopefully... and eternally!

on friendship and shopping

2010-01-29T22:38:00.000-05:00

Define friendship.

Friendship… in Wikipedia is defined as…

“the cooperative and supportive relationship between people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as the exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for some, the practical execution of friendship is little more than the trust that someone will not harm them.”

Friendship… by definition or shall I say serious and right definition is always positive. But in reality, life is both positive and negative. Some friends will use the term to con or scam their own friends. Others will use it as an alternative option for a collateral damage. And a few will use it to gain power.

Friendship… like in a women's large clothing store presents a wide variety of style, color, sizes and price. You go to look for something in your mind and you find something that will totally blow your mind. You tried everything that appeals to your taste and you either end up buying all that you tried or leave the store empty handed. And you browse the collection hoping that you will find the right outfit only to find out that you either cannot afford it or somebody else has already bought it. In other words, friendship is just like shopping... you need a keen eye, sharp intuition and positive judgment to get a great deal.

Friendship… like shopping is complicated but a necessity.

WORDS plus

2010-01-17T15:30:00.001-05:00

PISCES - The Partner for Life

Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the center of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around.. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily.. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes gets the short end of the stick... They sometimes get used by others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humor!!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to other but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

I got this in my email one day. As I was reading it I realized that some of the words are true and some are still debatable.

I used to be fond of horoscope when I was a little younger. Now that I am a little older it still fascinates me but I am not as eager to know my future… especially if it is followed by the phrase… bad things will happen if you do not forward… or something to that effect.

Well, this particular horoscope doesn’t tell me anything about my future but rather it gives me some light on why I do things. And most of the words used here are kind and positive so it made me feel good.

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You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out how good word can make people feel good. We are taught how to be nice to others. We are told to do the golden rule. And we have grown to know that saying nice words to others makes you a nice person.

Nice words… good deeds… positive attitudes… aren’t they easy as A, B, C? Isn’t it easier to say good words? Isn’t it easier to see good deeds? Isn’t easier to recognize positive attitudes? Assuming that your answer is YES… then why are there people who can’t talk nicely? Why are there people who are not happy when others are doing good deeds? Why are there people who only see the negative things in others?

Life is so short, as they always say. It could be a cliche but it is also a reality. Nobody can go wrong if once in a rare while people will think about doing the right thing. Doing good things is a great investment, so to speak. So why not invest on it?

common

2010-01-09T18:53:00.000-05:00

Familiarity bridges contempt, so they say.

With all the routine of life, things become so common and boring. People would strive to make a difference because they think that's the only way they could be uncommon.

Everyone wants to stand out. Everyone wants a special place. And everyone wants to be different.

Still, when things are unachievable, we resort to the old ways. When life after the change become unfavorable, we go back to old habits. And when people tend to be unbearable, we use our common sense.

Life in general is common as seen in different angles. The key to good life is not making the difference but using our common sense to see life as a blessing. And that - is the difference.

Changes

2010-01-01T11:33:00.000-05:00

It is said the there is nothing permanent in this world but change.

Like the changing seasons... it is constant. It is regular. It is expected.

But change is also something that people hate because of fear to being out of their comfort zone. People are afraid of changes because of the uncertainties. People are of afraid of changes because of the unknown. And people are afraid of changes because of the unfamiliarity.

But change is unbeatable. It is the only thing stable. It is the only thing that is inevitable. And it is the only thing that is certain.

This New Year... it is not a necessity to change but if the change is for the better... then it should be accommodated. Change is not a bad thing. It is only a proof that we are evolving. It is the only way to make the wrong... right. It is the only thing that will give a person a chance to undo the mistakes he has done.

This New Year... we may or may not make new resolutions - to change anything but we can always change our mind.

Happy New Year Everyone.

the reason for the season

2009-12-26T20:14:00.000-05:00

Christmas always brings the best and the worse in every human being on the face of the planet.

It brings the best in us because this is the season when we are most patient, most tolerable, most lenient, most loving, and most accepting of our loved ones' imperfections and flaws. It's not because we are trying to be in Santa's list anymore but maybe because it's already in our subconscious that this is the season for giving and forgiving.

It brings the worse in us, when we are pressured by one aspect of the season... the giving aspect, that is. And no matter how psyched up we are about the "giving" part... which supposed to mean something beyond the materialistic point of view, still we cannot help it but to embrace the more popular definition of giving - gifts. Giving material things is now part and parcel of the whole holiday hoopla because when materialism and commercialism conquered the world... giving is most felt when it is tangible. And in this time of economic crisis... you need to use your imagination to justify the true meaning of Christmas or else you will feel the pressure. However, despite this negative implication of giving, the positive side will always shine. After all true giving will never be outshone by materialism.

Forgiveness on the other hand, is always part of the holiday package. This is the season when people try their best not only to be good to others but to forgive others who did them wrong. This is the season of great opportunity to patch things up with people we had misunderstanding with. And since this is the time of the year when people are always vulnerable and ready to let go of their negative vibes, people are always willing to give or take second chances.

Christmas! This is the season for many reasons. This is the season where the worse is overpowered by the best. This is the season when despite the material things or the lack of it, people still give and take. And this is the season to forgive even the unforgiveable because after all, this is the season when love reigns.

Happy 1st Birthday... to me!

2009-12-17T21:34:00.000-05:00

It is my birthday today. Hmmmm... sort of.

It is my birthday today, technically speaking. Because today is the 1st anniversary of my second life. Today is the 1st anniversary of my car accident that happened last year.

Same day last year I was given a second lease on life and that blessing gave me a second chance to live another life with new hope and renewed faith.

It's winter time again and snow storm [or worst... ice storm] is inevitable. I will be driving again on icy, slushy, crappy and treacherous winter roads. I will be driving again by the same spot where I had the accident. And I will be scared of my wits again every time my tires will skid or spin due to block ice.

Winter here in Maine is a wonderland if you are talking about the beautiful white landscapes created by the snowfall. Everything is picture perfect just like what you see in beautiful Christmas cards and postcards. Everything is breathtaking and awesome. And everything is what I ever dreamed of when I was still living in a tropical country. But after the car accident, I hate winter.

Winter is a bitter season. The naked trees are stipped of life after all the leaves are gone. The lovely blue waters of the lakes and ponds are turned into a huge block of ice. And wildlife fled into hibernation, making the "wild"... devoid of life.

But winter is inevitable. Like life, it has to pass. Like life it has to end. And like life it has to give way to spring... so that a new life will begin.

Frost

2009-11-26T16:44:00.000-05:00

The early frost on the grass this morning signals that summer is really over. The chilly morning breeze reminds me that summer finally bid farewell. The foggy morning gives me a preview of what it will be like every morning from this day on.

But the grass is still green. The dew drops are cold on my toes. The maple leaves on the trees are turning yellow. Summer will be over soon but my memories of this summer will always be fresh.

Making a Living

2009-11-21T22:31:00.000-05:00

Making a living is a way of life. You cannot condemn a person for trying to make a living with whatever way he chooses. You cannot judge a person for making a bad business decision in order to make both ends meet. And you cannot blame a person if he steals from someone to put food on the table. Whether one makes a living legally or otherwise, it is human instinct that dictates one to do something for survival.

Human being learns the basic following his instinct. The evolution of work and the compensations one gets from such effort are the essential factors for the development of the human race. From agriculture to domestication of animal to invention of technologies to more invention left and right... the human race is unstoppable. From exchange of goods with another goods (simply put... barter) to exchange of knowledge with another idea (read: education) to sourcing of raw materials in exchange for service (translation: compensation)... the human race is limitless.

Work gives one a certain degree of dignity. It gives one a sense of confidence. And it gives one a feeling of security. People look for job not only to survive but to make himself a useful and productive human being. But it does not necessarily mean too that people who are out of work are undignified, inconfident and insecured. But one needs to get the necessary skill to be able to get remuneration for his effort and service.

However we look at it, making a living is not making a life but it is life itself. We need to work to make ourselves useful and productive. We need to work to be able to express ourselves in a way we know how and to gain a certain sense of pride for ourselves. And we need to work to leave a legacy.

No matter how small or big our contribution to our workplace, we achieve something for ourselves. No matter how little or huge we look at the job we do, we make a great impact in our workplace. And no matter how important or insignificant our work to our own personal evaluation, we still get compensated for that work.

We work to make a living, so let's not not live to work.

Coldness

2009-11-14T19:47:00.000-05:00

It is more than a physical thing. It is more than a feeling. It is more than a predicament.

When the breeze felt like it is wet and makes me chill… it is indeed cold. When the gentle breeze touches my cheeks and it sends a nippy feeling down my toes… it is certainly cold. And when the brisk wind blows like crazy in a frosty morning… it is definitely cold.

When someone gives you an unwelcome shoulder… that is cold. When someone shuts his door right on your face… that is totally cold. And when someone refuses to even look at you… that is undoubtedly cold.

Coldness is a predicament when you feel the cool breeze or when you feel unwelcomed. Coldness is a predicament when your toes felt numbed or when your face is numbed from being unaccepted. And coldness is a predicament when the wind blows in a frosty morning or when someone totally refuses to let you be a part of his life.

Coldness… is more than feeling cold… it is a situation no one wants to be in.

I won the Lottery!

2009-11-09T10:46:00.000-05:00

I was waiting patiently. My palms were sweating like crazy. My heart was beating furiously. My knees were shaking uncontrolably. I was breathing fast and nervous. My anticipation was too overwhelming to comprehend. And I can't take my eyes off the small balls bearing familiar numbers in the raffle drum as they were dropped there one after another.

Everything happened so fast. The world stood still as the host repeated the 6 numbers drawn. I had to pinch myself to focus. I finally had the common sense to look at the paper I was holding since the lottery numbers were drawn that night. I had to look at the paper to make sure that it has the right numbers that were called out. And YES! The numbers on the paper I was holding were the exact numbers that won the jackpot.

I WON THE JACKPOT! I won 55 million dollars!

THEN... I WOKE UP!

Damn dream! I tried to go back to sleep to recall the numbers so I can bet on them for real. I tried to go back to bed to dream it again but I failed. I tried to close my eyes so tight trying to search my brain of any hint of recorded numbers from the dream that I just had... but I wasn't successful. I tried to lie down again hoping that I will be able to remember at least 5 numbers but I only came up with 1 and 17, but still I wasn't sure enough that those two numbers were the ones I saw in my dream. Then, I gave up.

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I never remember any of my dreams. Who does, anyway? Most of my dreams are fragments of things I never have any recollections of. Dreams that are constantly bugging me in my deepest sleep… dreams that are continuously giving me vague clue of the past or perhaps the future… dreams that are persistently waking me up in the middle of the night giving me yet another unsolved puzzles to my existence.

What are dreams made of? Why are they so haunting yet fascinating? Why are they so persistent yet intriguing? Why are they so gripping yet elusive? I never remember any of my dreams. Maybe I will never will.

the sower and the fruit

2009-10-31T23:12:00.000-04:00

The circle of life is an amazing cycle of God's miracle. Trying to understand it makes it more interesting if not more incomprehensible because the more I try to understand life, the more I get confused. Its mystery never ceases to amaze me. And its enigma never stops captivating me.

Everyone has a chance to experience life in all sizes and shapes. And just like other people I got the chance to see life in different angles.

As a DAUGHTER... my parents taught me how to make the right choices and to take a stand for the consequences of the choices I made.

As a SISTER... I was blessed with two brothers who shared with me a happy childhood full of happy memories. They are my partners-in-crime and together we grew up into responsible human beings bonded not only by blood but by the love, loyalty, trust, respect and common sense that mom and dad showed us.

As a FRIEND... I have challenged myself to deal with other people outside my family. It taught me the skill to relate to other people with the same confidence I had with my own family. The trust, respect, and loyalty that I learned from home was strengthened and made solid though my personal interaction with other people.

As a WORKER and a CO-WORKER... I was able to value work without prejudice. I have learned that dedication and hard work are the basic ingredients for a by-product.

As an EDUCATOR... I was able to teach the values that I strongly uphold and was able to learn other important values from my students as well. I did not only teach them what I know but they taught me more than what I know about life.

As a WIFE... I am now learning to understand the value of sharing and selflessness. Having a partner is not just having someone to go home to or to share your food with... or having someone who will pay your bills and buy you what you want... or someone to fight and nag... or someone to clean up your mess... but it is having someone to celebrate life with.

As a HUMAN BEING... I am always grateful to the ONE who put me here... the ONE who never stops watering the earth to make the seed grow. The ONE who is patient when I am snapping. The ONE who is loving when I am hating. The ONE who is waiting when I am procrastinating. The ONE who is rejoicing when I am laughing.

I have learned a lot of hard lessons in life, both good and bad. And for the past 42 years of my existence I went through a lot of trials that I know have made me become the kind of person that I am now. I did have my fair share of life's ups and downs. And with each rising and falling, a new lesson is learned... a new meaning is defined... a new blessing is given. There might have been times when I hate or dislike what I see.. feel... think and I back-slided every chance I get from my personal conviction. But SOMEONE never gives up on me... so I did not have the chance to give up too. As what the late Fr. Rene Cosico told me once when I was complaining about life - "Grow where you are planted.", I learned how to turn the situation to my advantage. It was not always easy but trying makes the difference. It taught me not just patience but resilience.

Every sunrise and every sunset is a challenge that I face everyday of my life. And every moment is a chance for me to grow... to learn... to rejoice... to trust... to love.